Content warning: Slightly higher than Teen rated depictions of sex. Nothing explicit, but there is some getting it on implied.

Epilogue

The clock struck nine as Ranma, Hiroshi, and Daisuke sat in front of the large television set in Hiroshi's living room. Ranma was back in her Chinese clothes, but Hiroshi and Daisuke were still in their outfits from the shopping trip. Hiroshi was focused on the game, pressing buttons on the small red controller. Daisuke was looking through the magazines she bought, currently paging through a copy of CanCam. Ranma was just looking at the two, and after twenty minutes of silence, came to a realization.

"Okay, okay, you're right. You guys win. This ain't so bad," Ranma admitted as she flopped back onto the living room floor. "Still can't believe an ancient Chinese curse ain't the worst part of my damn life..."

"Well I mean, it's just being human," Hiroshi said as she kept playing Metroid. "And I mean who cares what you look like when you can kick their butt or outsmart them?"

"Yeah. Besides, guys are suckers," Daisuke said, as she turned the pages of a gunpla hobbyist magazine. "Even when they're Yuka Suzuki and Sayuri Satou."

Ranma chuckled as she sat up finally. "Maybe..." She looked wistful until she looked at the screen again and blinked in surprise. "Woah! What's that?"

"Mother Brain. I need to hit her with a bunch of missiles and freeze the rings so they don't hit me." Hiroshi fired on the final boss for what seemed like a long time before the screen flashed. As Mother Brain exploded, she moved Samus Aran past Mother Brain's jar and up the long vertical corridor to escape the planet. Ranma was rapt as Hiroshi jumped up the cavern with a quick speed before hitting the elevator.

"Done! And with time to spare!" Hiroshi said with a smile. She turned and pointed out the TV to Ranma. "Watch. There's a surprise for you."

Ranma looked at the screen as the armored fighter Hiroshi had controlled changed clothes to a pink leotard and boots and showed off long brown hair.

"She's a woman?"

"Yep. Samus is pretty neat. I've beaten this game like a dozen times, but I thought you'd find it cool, Ranma."

The redhead nodded to Hiroshi. "Yeah, that's cool. That's a Famicom, right?"

Hiroshi nodded as she switched the cartridge to Contra and gave Ranma a controller.

"Gee..." Ranma muttered as she immediately died on the first level. "I wonder how many photo shoots I'm gonna hafta do to afford one."

Yuka was taking in the sights of the early summer evening as he sauntered back towards Furinkan. Sayuri had gone off strolling away from the chaos with some girl. He was pretty sure that had been Akane screaming and locked in close combat by the time the mall began to collapse. It seemed a good time to head home.

Heading into Furinkan, Yuka encountered a Lawson. Interestingly, instead of it being built into the ground floor of a larger building, like near Nerima Station, this one was its own separate building, complete with a small, three car parking lot.

Shrugging, Yuka wandered in.

The store was empty save for the counter, where a woman in a familiar blue apron over a very strangely formal kimono was standing there, currently busying herself with refilling the large electric kettle as well as the coffee maker in the back. She turned and bowed deeply.

"Welcome!"

Yuka's eyes widened as the woman's clothing and demeanor clicked. Without thinking, he pointed at the woman with a small self-satisfied laugh.

"Hey, you're that lady, Konatsu. You worked at Ucchans."

The woman nodded. "Yes. Seven months ago."

"Haah, I knew it." Yuka stopped. "Wait, what happened?"

"Oh I grilled a customer's face after he tried to grope Kuonji-sama. She was... appreciative, but it was bad for business so she had to fire me."

Yuka blinked. "Fair enough." He grabbed a roll cake and some cold tea. As the woman bagged his order, Yuka fiddled around for some change and paid for his goods.

"Thank you for shopping at—"

"Can I use your bathroom?" Yuka asked.

Konatsu gave him a worried frown. "I'm not supposed to let customers..." the woman sighed. "Fine, of course. Down and to the left."

As Yuka walked off, Konatsu turned back to her work and wasn't looking closely when the door opened and a man in a black coat hurried inside. For a second he looked like a college student, though when he pulled out a can of spray paint and colored the security camera, Konatsu knew something was up. Her suspicion was confirmed when he pulled out a knife at her.

"Give me all the money you have!"

Slowly, Konatsu reached down and pressed the button opening the register.

"What are you doing!?" The man yelled and waved the knife left and right. "The fucking safe! I've been casing this place. Behind the cigarettes!" He waved the knife further behind her.

Konatsu smiled politely and nodded. She turned and pushed the small shelf of Mild Sevens aside and stopped as she looked at the safe.

"Hurry up!"

Konatsu held her hands up. "I just started here. I'm trying to remember how to—"

"Don't bullshit me, bitch! Open the fuckin' safe!" The man started to lean over the counter.

"Hey, your hand dryer is busted..." Yuka called out from the side. The assailant looked at the source of the noise, distracted. Konatsu, with a seemingly practiced ease, grabbed the kettle of water she had filled and heated earlier and threw it in the man's face. As he cried out in pain, she drew a wakizashi from her sleeve and jumped over the counter, kicking the man in the solar plexus, forcing him to drop the knife he had drawn on her. Konatsu caught it mid-air as she landed on top of his still wriggling in pain body.

There was tire squealing outside.

"Your ride left without you, you stupid bastard." Konatsu coolly said as she stood over him, wakizashi drawn, the flat of the blade pressed against the would-be assailant's neck.

Yuka stood there, jaw agape a second before a smile crept on his face. He gave the kunoichi/ convenience store employee a thumbs up.

"Awesome! Totally awesome! Alright, Konatsu!"

Ranma slid open the front door and as she walked past the entrance, Ranma found Akane, still male, sitting up and waiting for her in the living room, the TV on, but muted. Ranma remarked again how tall Akane was, almost lanky if not for the swimmer's build. Akane turned and brushed his bangs, wiping his face.

" -'kane..." Ranma whispered.

"Oh, hey," Akane said, standing. "What'd you get up to?"

"Oh, the 'gals' n I went back to Hiro's and played video games n' drink Cokes. I never gotta chance ta play them before. It was... It was pretty cool. You okay?"

Akane nodded. "Hey Ranma, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

Ranma blinked. "Ain't that my line?"

"No. I called you weirdo and accused you of doing pervy guy things and then this happened and I felt those things. And at first I was blaming this body and hormones and then... The more I thought about it, it was me. It was always me. I always wanted to do those... things with you. Like, you as a boy, but... I guess as a girl, too."

Ranma nodded. "And you as a— as a guy?"

Akane shook her head. "I mean... not exactly, but sometimes I thought about it and... I mean right now, yeah, I guess just out of curiosity. Maybe I can ask Shampoo for more of these Instant packets? But... for a first time, maybe I should be my regular self."

Ranma nodded. "Okay, well, I was gonna take a bath..." Ranma gave the tall boy a smile. "Wanna join me?"

Akane blushed. "Ranma! Why—" He stopped. "I'm doin' it again." Akane took a breath. "Yeah... if— if you're okay with that."

"I wouldn't've asked if I didn't want to, Akane." Ranma smiled. "You're not cute at all."

Akane frowned and his face grew angry.

"You're pretty," Ranma clarified and gave Akane a wink before she went upstairs. "Last one to the furo's a rotten egg."

Ranma was still washing with cool water when Akane came in. He sat down next to Ranma and began scrubbing. Akane still felt a bit awkward like this, but less so than when the whole thing began earlier that day, especially after all the genital trauma experienced, both physical and psychological. However, Akane glanced at Ranma and thought again what Ranma had said before running off. Akane felt the familiar thump in his chest, but also a less familiar sensation below and, before he realized it, he felt an unfamiliar stiffness.

Ranma looked over and let out a giggle. "Well, good to see what you really think of lil' ol' me."

"Oh, like you need any more of an ego boost!" Akane said, pouring cold water over Ranma's hair. "Here, I'll wash your hair."

"Just watch where ya point that cannon," Ranma quipped.

"Quiet, lady." Akane gave Ranma a small noogie before sitting down behind her. Akane undid the braid of red hair and slowly smoothed it out. He reached out for the shampoo and began applying it to Ranma's hair, then began massaging her scalp.

"ow—OW! Too hard, Akane. You got bonier fingers as a guy!"

Akane blinked and nodded, using less force this time as he rubbed the shampoo into Ranma's scalp. "Better?"

Ranma hummed affirmatively. "Thanks. Ah man, it feels great."

"Ranma, don't lean like that. Your butt is—"

"Ah! I said watch where yer pointing that—" Ranma stopped and without meaning to let out a moan.

"Uh. Oh shit, sorry." Akane blushed as he saw the small figure in front of him leaning back a moment, her still shampooed hair against his chest. He saw Ranma's flushed cheeks.

Her eyes still closed, Ranma whispered, "Damn, I should be scared as hell, but like..."

Ranma grew silent but kept speaking in her head, you like me when I'm a girl so I mean in my head I thought about what'd happen if you a curse like mine and I already decided I wasn't gonna be a hyp—hypo—have a double standard 'bout it. But now that it kinda happened... Ranma drew a sharp breath as she said aloud, "Fuck this is hot. I dunno if I can wait, after all, 'kane."

"Are you—" Akane felt his voice crack before clearing his suddenly parched throat. "Are you sure?" Akane asked. Ranma responded by grabbing Akane's hand and placing it in between her legs. Akane felt a warm, non-shower based wetness and quietly mouthed an "oh."

"Lemme rinse first 'fore I get shampoo 'n'... other shit in my eyes." Ranma whispered as she bent forward and poured a tub of water over her hair. Squeezing the excess water out of her hair, Ranma let it drape over her right breast as she turned around and looked at Akane with hungry eyes and said with a smirk, "If ya knock me up, you're explaining it ta Ma."

Akane let out a strained laugh as the girl in front of him all but jumped onto his lap and they kissed deeply.

The front door of the store chimed as it opened. An elderly man looked up from his magazine and turned down the radio.

"We're just about closed, young man," he called out.

The young man who entered put a hand to the back of his head, pulling at his dark brown hair. "I'll be quick, sir. I just need an 'Utsurun Desu' if you have any."

The man looked at the shelf behind him and pulled out the instant camera in question. "Yep. That'll be 1380 yen. Bring it back here ta get it developed when you're done and I'll take 150 yen off the price."

Sayuri smiled. "That's a nice deal." He dropped a 1000 note and a 500 yen coin to the counter. Taking his change he gave the old man a warm smile.

"I may get my sister to come by and drop off the camera. Will that be a problem?"

"Oh not at all. Sounds like you have a nice family."

Sayuri gave a quick nod and wave and bade the old man a good night. He ran out of the shop, unsure what to do immediately.

Wish I could use my room like this. Mom would freak out. She's already on my case on the 'bad influences' at school, Sayuri grumbled internally as he looked at his pockets. Counting the loose change, he had an idea.

The love hotel was unassuming enough. No gaudy colors or themes on its signs. Just a rate: 1800 yen for an hour, 3000 for three hours, 8000 overnight. Pulling some cash out, Sayuri paid for an hour.

There goes the rest of my allowance... he thought as he went up to the room. He found a full length mirror against the door to the bathroom and, being judicious about lighting and the 24 pictures he could take, started photographing himself. He took shots of his form on the full body mirror, then, walking into the bathroom, closer shots of his face. Sayuri noted the small bits of peach fuzz turned stubble on his upper lip and near his jawline. Finally, he took some photos of himself without a shirt on, and then only in underwear. Besides taking the photos, he studied his shape intently.

Sayuri wanted to burn this form and its image in his mind for as long as it would stay, just as he had memorized Hiroshi's face and small body today.

Finally, putting his pants back on, but leaving the shirt off, Sayuri walked back into the bathroom. He made sure the camera had been used up and, with a quick dunk of the head, she returned to herself. She tightened the pants a bit, rolling up the cuffs and put on the dress shirt, which now hung loose and rolled up the sleeves. Sayuri noted that the clothes even smelled different than she had thought and tried to remember it as best she could as she stepped out of the love hotel and headed home.

Sayuri tried to quietly enter her house, running up the stairs. She heard her mother greet, or rather yell, at her.

"Sayuri! You're home so late!"

From upstairs and out of sight, she said, "I'm sorry! Yuka dragged me uh, clothes shopping and then we got food at the Nekohanten!"

"I don't like you hanging around all hours, who knows what could happen to a young lady like you! There are too many unsavory men around and you never know what they might do."

"... yep. No idea at all," Sayuri said to herself as she changed to something more acceptable.

"And I mean the city just isn't safe anymore! Did you hear on the news about Hikarigaoka?"

"N...No, mom. What happened?"

"Well!" Sayuri's mother began recounting, "According to the news, some disgruntled employee blew up the mall in Hikarigaoka! He apparently went crazy and started demolishing the place!"

"Oh. My. How awful," Sayuri replied in as nonchalant a tone as possible.

"Yes! They found him ranting about 'Communist rabbit insurgents' or something!" Sayuri's mother sighed, "I don't know if it's all that Western Rock Music or something, but it's just not safe anymore, Sayuri."

Sayuri sighed. "I'll be in my room doing homework, okay?"

Sayuri took the silence to mean she was in the clear. She pulled out her hi-fi and headphones and pulled out her milk crate of vinyl. She flipped past the Yellow Magic Orchestra and Matsubara Miki to an album she had shown Hiroshi earlier today. She pulled the record and flipped it to its B-Side, placing the needle on the second cut.

There was a time when you weren't about your heart

Began to see

And mine was like a crown of thorns cutting at you

So deep.

And though it must've been like going through hell

I know there's a better way to think about you, hon

And you will be the one who knows all the rules

You will be the one who's been through it all

You will be the one who never follows their heart,

Anymore...

Sayuri closed her eyes and reflected on the day. Maybe... maybe she'd think about giving Hiroshi a call tomorrow. It was Sunday tomorrow. Maybe they could listen to records or read manga together, just like old times.

Shampoo was wiping tables at the Nekohanten the next day. They had just gotten through the lunch rush, but aside from a few nearby delivery orders, it was a quiet Sunday and the restaurant was mostly empty.

Shampoo wasn't sure she would ever get the ringing out of her hearing from how much Cologne had harangued her about the day before. That was before she got another earful from Mousse. Thankfully he had finally left her alone. Everyone's so damn thin-skinned. It was a mall, not a military base. Fuck! 'Oh no, people might have to take the subway to *gasp* Shibuya to buy shitty ripped jeans...'

She just barely heard the bell at the front door over her thoughts and temporary tinnitus. She looked up and saw Ranma walk inside. He was back to his male self, though his hair was down in a low ponytail rather than a braid. He also seem a bit pale and he had bags under his eyes.

"Welcome to the Nekohanten, airen!" Shampoo called out.

Ranma raised a hand and walked towards a table. Well, 'walked' was a tad generous as he gingerly took his steps, seemingly to keep his gait even. As he approached the table he sat down, letting out a slight sucking noise through gritted teeth before he looked up at Shampoo and smiled.

"I need some Tonkotsu Ramen, extra cha shu pork, extra spinach, extra bamboo... hell extra everything and keep 'em comin; I'm beat."

Shampoo nodded and came back with two bowls of ramen that seemed filled with more toppings than broth. Ranma began to dig in with gusto.

"Have fun time with friends yesterday?" Shampoo asked.

"Yeah, they're good people." Ranma raised his free hand and said between bites, "Oh! Put Daisuke in the pool with 'natsu n that other kid from 1-B... Oozora, I think? That'll make it like 300,000 each?"

"305,000."

Ranma merely shrugged as he drank down the liquid from his first bowl, then changed gears and began slurping down the second bowl of ramen.

"You too too hungry today, Ranma. Violent girl not fill mouth with... 'eggplant' last night?"

Ranma squinted at Shampoo. "Not the place ta talk 'bout it. Besides, ain't ya jealous or somethin'?"

"Shampoo happy girl side get time to have fun. Had no idea violent girl would have third leg as boy."

Ranma began to stammer a response. "We-well ya don't—ya don't have ta put it like that, ya know. I—It's kinda complicated n'—"

Ranma heard the door to the Nekohanten open. He could hear a familiar woman yell, "And there! Are you happy now, Mousse?" Akane let out an exhausted groan. "Honestly! We went to a dozen stores in Harajuku to find you something!"

Mousse yelled back at Akane. "Well, New Order isn't the same as INXS, but..." Mousse nodded, "Yes, yes, fine. It's pretty cool I have a shirt from the Substance tour. That was a great album"

"Substance is compilation album, poser," Shampoo remarked.

Akane walked towards Shampoo and locked eyes with Ranma. Immediately, the two looked away, their faces growing flush. Shampoo looked at the two and smiled.

"You need more Instant Nannichuan, Akane? Or is violent girl actually able to make love to Ranma as girl, too?"

As Ranma and Akane both yelled at her, then began bickering with each other, Shampoo thought, It's so much fun to mess with them.

Shampoo picked up the empty bowl of ramen as she eavesdropped on their bickering.

"Well thanks ta ya, tomboy, I can't even walk straight!"

"Well good! Cause you're about as straight as a 3000 yen bill!"

"Look who's talking, snake in the pants!"

"Why I ought to..."

Too much damn fun.

It was a cold December in front of the Makuhari Messe in Chiba. The four of them got up extra early to take the train out to the Tokyo-adjacent city for the chance to hang out, pick up some doujinshi, and make a nuisance of themselves. Comiket awaits no one, not even their coordinated cosplay group.

"Aren't you freakin' freezing in that thing?" Hiroshi asked, rubbing his mitten-less hands before double checking his own wig and neckerchief were in place.

"I'm feeling just fine, dechau!" Daisuke said. Her normal hair was hidden under a long green wig and fake horns as she danced around Hiroshi in a tiger-striped bikini and matching boots.

"Stop that! You don't have to speak in character, idiot!" Hiroshi fixed his own wig, worrying that the skirt Sayuri got him wasn't long enough. Thankfully, he was able to wear pantyhose underneath for warmth.

"Hah, you sound like 'Shinobu' already." A third voice chimed in. "I wonder if should have brought a desk in for you to throw, after all." Sayuri walked up, in her white suit with Chinese collar and fake katana at her waist. Like Daisuke, she had her hair up and under a wig. Along with the sarashi flattening her chest and a bit of makeup to sharpen her features, she was the spitting image of Shuutarou Mendou.

"Oy, don't encourage her, Sayucchin." Hiroshi sighed. "Where's Yuka?"

"Right here, nerds." Yuka walked up casually. Her normally brownish hair was dyed jet black and, unlike the others, her hair was cut short and in a very boyish style. Otherwise she wore the black Furinkan gakuran with the jacket slightly open revealing a white button shirt.

"Oh wow, Yuka!" Sayuri exclaimed, "You really look like Ryuu-chan!"

Yuka smiled and gave a slight nod. "Thanks Sayu. I mean I planned to cut my hair short anyway, so why the hell not?" Yuka gave a slight shrug, "Whaddaya think, Takahashi?"

Daisuke leaned in towards Yuka. "Looks great. I'm surprised you didn't use some water to seal the look."

Yuka gave Daisuke a sympathetic look, "It wouldn't work right. You did better after a swim, but... for me? This is perfect as far as I'm concerned, young lady." Yuka said the last phrase pointedly, though in a praising voice. Daisuke nodded and patted Yuka on the back.

"Okay, let's take some photos, dechau!" Daisuke said impatiently as she gave the group a peace and shook her hip to the side, drawing attention by several onlookers, especially those in stained sweaters and carrying backpacks.

"Stop that, dude." Hiroshi sighed. He thought back to the bet he made with Ranma a few months ago. A few things changed—he noted how vibrant and smiling Daisuke looked and the confident demeanor Sayuri had when she playfully patted Daisuke's head—but actually things kinda just evened themselves out. Plus the cash was a pretty good side benefit.

Hiroshi stopped as he felt a hand grasp his.

"Hey, are you being introspective again, Hicchan?" Sayuri asked, leaning close.

"Yeah, sorry, I let my internal monologue speak for me... I forgot I need to actually use my words." Hiroshi looked at the crossdressing girl next to his own crossdressing self. "Was just thinking about stuff lately. Just how I can see the 'Sadahiko' in you. And maybe I guess a bit of the 'Hiroko' in myself."

"I mean I can always ask Shampoo if you want to see Sadahiko in the flesh," Sayuri quipped. "You wouldn't even have to change, Hicchan. I'd still be taller and your chest is just as flat."

Hiroshi laughed a bit. "If you want to, I don't mind." He stopped a moment. "Oh! I forgot. I saved up and got you a Christmas present." Hiroshi swayed a bit in his dark blue school uniform. "It's a bit early, but I wasn't sure if you wanted to go out the day after Comiket ends, especially with entrance exams and stuff, too."

Hiroshi reached into his bag and pulled out a wrapped box. As Sayuri opened it, she saw before her eyes a vintage Ultraman action figure.

"Oh. You idiot." Sayuri replied softly. "I would have been happy with a book or a cassette, you know?"

"Yeah, but... I'd have to be a miser to not spend my money on cheap sentiment. Also not cheap. I didn't realize these things were collectors' items now."

Sayuri found herself having to dab at her eyes and gave Hiroshi a hug.

"Merry Christmas, Hicchan."

"Merry Christmas, Sayucchin."

"Hey! Hiro! Don't mess up your 'boyfriend's' makeup! We got lots of otaku who want to take pics-dechau!"

Hiroshi rolled his eyes and the four began stomping around the grounds of the expo center, awash in a sea of nerds and the end of their own high school lives.

The End

This was a fun, wild ride. Thanks one more time to RDavidson and prise-en-passant, Beedok, and other folks who contributed their time and energy for pre-reading, copyediting, and providing feedback. It was invaluable to making it as silly and as complete as it is. I will be back soon with... something. Maybe Yumbe Chapter 5 of Doppio 2 or Pinch Hitter. We will see what the brain latches on to.

I've loved all the reviews and comments and I hope it was a satisfying, breezy read.

～裏には裏がある