Brown eyes blinked blearily in futile attempts to clear blurry vision; a frustrated groan followed without fail. Gaze rising with the rest of him, blood rushed to his feet plunging the world back into darkness. Ichigo raised his right hand as he stumbled blindly through Seireitei. The hand that wasn't foraging through discomforting darkness attempted to massage the pain away,

"Ugh... my head fricken hurts"

"Don't tell me you went drinking on a Wednesday night" A familiar voice Ichigo couldn't quite place chided, "That's usually my shtick!"

"Can't… see…"

"That bad, huh? You're lucky I carry around a hangover remedy, should clear up that headache but I'm not really sure about the lack of sight… You sure you didn't go blind?"

A pioneering right hand reached for the remedy, "Give… Please."

The voice laughed warmly, "I have to warn you, it doesn't taste pleasant. This is a new haori so don't spit it out on me."

Ichigo racked his brain. Haori. The coat the Soul Reaper captains were given.

'Why the hell would someone in the World of the Living have something so stupidly outdated?' Ichigo pondered ruefully.

Vision suddenly and immediately came rushing back, completely in focus to boot. Lucky him. Unsure of what to expect before him, a dauntingly familiar grin took him by surprise.

"Kyōraku-taicho?" Ichigo groaned, more in shock than anything else, "What on Earth are you doing here?"

Another laugh, "Well you happen to be right outside the Eighth Division, and I happen to be the Captain of this here division, so…"

Ichigo raised an eyebrow. He was confused. He was tired. His head still hurt— "HEY THAT CURE DIDN'T WORK!"

Kyōraku dipped his hatless head sheepishly, "The placebo effect sure has it shortcomings, huh? Thanks for getting rid of that accursed drink Unohana-taicho prescribed me. One of the few things I won't drink."

Ichigo's blistering temper had already fizzled out by this point, so he figured he would pressure the Eighth Division Captain for some info on what the hell had happened to him.

"How'd I end up here? Last I recall I was in my room yelling at Renji to stop coming in through my window."

Kyōraku raised an eyebrow, his expression sinking into seriousness, "It's extremely rare for a newly deceased soul to remember their life — I'm assuming you are recently deceased because you aren't a Shinigami — and even rarer for a deceased soul to enter the Soul Society in Seireitei. The large spiritual pressure around here usually deters any and all souls entering." Calculating eyes looked him up and down, "You must have exceptional Reiryoku."

Ichigo shrunk under the Captain's gaze, "Stop looking at me like that!"

"Tell you what: you agree to join my division once you graduate, and I'll send you to Shin'ō for free. How does that sound?"

"What in the world makes you think I'll join your division you drunk? Also, I though Shin'ō was free!" Ichigo huffed indignantly

Kyōraku, ignoring his implied query, laughed heartily, "Coming from someone who got so drunk they couldn't even see the next morning, I'll take that as a compliment!"

Ichigo blushed as he remembered his situation — he had no credibility or memory and therefore could not argue with the captain. Before he could retort however, Kyōraku spoke again.

"The real reason I want you in my division is those twin Zanpakutō. Jūshirō and I are the only ones in history to wield twin Zanpakutō; therefore, you, my friend, are studying under me whether you like it or not. Not a soul at the academy can teach you to fight with two, sealed, Zanpakutō. And if you want to survive in the future, you will learn to fight with two, sealed, Zanpakutō."

Ichigo was baffled for a multitude of reasons, the first one being his two Zanpakutō. Where the hell had the second one come from, and how the hell had Zangetsu sealed himself? However, Ichigo was also aware that Kyōraku was one of the most proficient swordsmen in the entire afterlife, and he wasn't passing up a chance to study under him.

"Fine. However, if you're planning to send me to the academy you should probably know ahead of time that my kidō is… subpar"

Kyōraku chuckled sympathetically, strategically overlooking the stranger's knowledge of kidō "Too much Reiryoku, too little control?"

Ichigo's eyes were wide, "How'd you know?"

Kyōraku rubbed the back of his neck, grinning sheepishly, "Jūshirō and I had the same problem in our first year at the Academy, I struggled well into my second year while Jūshirō managed to rankle his during his first-year final exams. Between you and me, it's just because I have more Reiryoku than he does ;)."

Ichigo was flabbergasted, "You winky face-ed!?"

Kyōraku raised a brow, "I did?"

A pause

"So… the Academy?"

Ichigo sighed in exasperation, deciding to accept his fate rather than argue with the senior captain, "When?"

"Entrance exams are in 4 weeks. If you want help controlling your energy, feel free to stop by."

"Sure thing" Ichigo smiled, "I'll definitely take you up on that, but not today. I need a place to crash."

"If you can't find one, there's plenty of space in the Eighth Division barracks!" Kyōraku replied

"I appreciate your offer — I'm sure I'll find one though, but I'll be seeing you soon."

"One question."

"Yes?"

"Those clothes you're wearing… where can I get some?"
Ichigo glanced down, a pair of blue jeans and a black jacket.

"Uh… the World of the Living?"

Kyōraku 'hmm-ed' thoughtfully, "Remind me to stop by with you one of these days."

Ichigo nodded before walking off with a wave tossed behind him, "See ya."

Kyōraku waved back gaily, before falling deep into thought, 'I don't understand how a recently deceased soul has any knowledge of kidō .. his Zanpakutō are even stranger. How did he even obtain them in the first place?'

A crisp smack to the back of his head dispelled his musings.

"Making new friends, Captain?"

"Of course, Lisa" Kyōraku grinned over his shoulder, "I'm nothing if not amiable"

"You're a lazy good-for-nothing who refuses to do paperwork, which you happen to have in surplus!"

Ichigo wandered the Seireitei aimlessly, after being chased through the majority of it by the Eleventh Division during his Ryoka days he figured he knew every nook and cranny of the damn thing. Taking in his surroundings, he figured he must be near the Tenth division.

'Some of these buildings look different since I was last here. I want to say they're new but they look old.' Ichigo debated as he took another turn, running into someone who was also taking another turn.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there" Ichigo apologized in a slightly nasally voice, for the other's forehead had connected rather solidly with his face-mounted breathing instrument.

"No problem, I wasn't paying attention either. With all the spirit energy you're releasing you'd think I would be able to at least realize there was something around the corner."

"Yeah, I get that a lot" Ichigo sweat dropped, before double taking as he recognized the woman in front of him, "Rangiku!"

The woman looked slightly startled, "Such informality from an unseated officer? What is the Gotei coming to?"

"You got a hair cut! I thought you liked your hair long?" Ichigo was getting even more confused, not that he'd say it aloud, but Rangiku looked 5 years younger than last they'd spoken. Could it be the haircut? Renji had told him Rangiku used to wear her hair short… wait… Kyōraku didn't know who he was, buildings looking older, Rangiku with shorter hair…

'A really bad joke?' Ichigo internally inquired, 'Sounds like something Renji would organize.'

"Hair long? It's been a while since I've done that." Rangiku pondered, "It's a little creepy you remember that long ago…"

Ichigo face faulted. Great, she didn't know him either. Had it been a joke, Rangiku would have just broken down into giggles and coo condescendingly; she wasn't a serious enough individual to properly act out something as petty as a practical joke. He didn't know what was going on, but he needed an escape plan.

"Play dumb!" A distorted voice shrieked desperately in Ichigo's mind

Ichigo flinched upon hearing his inner hollow, but currently had more pressing matters to focus his attention on.

"Been a while… what do you mean, it was just last week…" Ichigo pretended to stare at her Lieutenant's badge, "A LIEUTENANT?!" He shrieked, "How the hell did you get promoted…"

Rangiku raised an eyebrow, "I think you have me mistaken for someone else, I've been a lieutenant for fifty years now."

"Take that, Glasses! I'd like to see you pull that off. My king's the man!"

"I'm so sorry."

"Bow deeper, King."

"Don't push it, Dickweed."

"Don't sweat it." Rangiku chuckled, "I can't fault you for something I've done before. I've got paperwork to do though, and if I don't do it Isshin-taicho will have my head!"

"Sure thing… see ya"

'Isshin-taicho? She couldn't mean… but… it's been over a hundred years since Dad was a captain. What the hell?'

"There isn't really an explanation for it, but if I had to guess, you're in the past!"

"The past?" Ichigo wondered, "How..."

"If I had to guess again? Urahara." The hollow's pale form appeared in front of him, no sword(s) to be seen. "That clown probably stuck something on Renji without him knowing. The rise in both of your spiritual pressure could have tripped whatever it was and sent you back."

"Wouldn't Renji have been sent back then?"

"Do I look like a search engine, King? You gotta find the answers yourself."

"Rukia was in the room as well, wouldn't she have been sent back as well?"

"So was the Werecat — DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?"
"Yeah, yeah, you don't know. Can it so I can think."

"If I had something sharp it would be buried between your eyes right now."
"Remind me to relegate you to plastic utensils."

"Quarreling isn't going to uncover where we are or when we are. We should try our best to figure out what today's date is before we jump to conclusions."

"Zangetsu!" Ichigo sighed in relief, "I understand, I'll get right on it."

"How come he always listens to you and not m…"

The rest of the Hollow's rant was drowned out as Ichigo vacated his inner world, only to see Rangiku snapping her fingers in front of his face,

"Hey, you finally back? You spaced out there."

"My bad. Sorry about that, but I have to get going. There are things I have to attend to." Ichigo told the Lieutenant.

"Moi aussi." Rangiku sighed, "If we see each other again, I'll be sure to remember your name... which you're going to tell me now."

"Ichigo Kurosaki."

"I'll remember it, catch ya later!"

"Bye." Ichigo replied with a wave as she hurried off, assumedly, to her division.

'Time to find someone who knows the date.'

"Not hard. Stop a random Shinigami and ask."

Ichigo rolled his eyes but complied with his Hollow's suggestion. A short time later, random Shinigami strode by and was quickly interrogated by Ichigo. Random Shinigami revealed that the date was August 24, 1878. Ichigo thanked Random Shinigami, who nodded, and departed, leaving Ichigo to talk to himself.

"So, the day and month are the same as when I was in the World of the Living, but the year is over one hundred years prior. Urahara really is an asshole, huh."

"Despite the rather crude language, yes. I currently view Urahara-san in a slightly less kind light." Zangetsu agreed

"I'm gonna rip his hands off and reattach them backwards!" Ichigo's hollow seethed.

Ichigo and Zangetsu both cast wary looks at the decidedly unhappy hollow.

"Don't give me that look! Makes me feel like I'm the only one who wants to do that."

The looks continued to pin the hollow.

"Oh, well screw you guys."

"So, what do we do?" Ichigo looked to Zangetsu

"We train under Kyōraku until the exams, then we enter the academy and train to eliminate Aizen. Ideally before he can initiate his takeover."

"You just couldn't be patient, could you? It only took you one thousand nine hundred and sixty-eight words to ruin the intrigue from the summary!" Ichigo growled as he—with the author living vicariously through him—flipped the spirit off.

"It isn't my fault he was too lazy to conjure some profound analogy or conflict to inspire a real story with an overarching plot and character-building subplots. This isn't your first rodeo." Zangetsu spoke not to Ichigo and not to Hollow-san, but to the mysterious fourth party always tuned in.

"Wait what about the title?"

"I thought it was fairly obvious, you see there's a consistent theme with you regard—"

"No. Stop that. Bad spirit."

Ichigo pushed the conversation back on track, opting to reiterate to the calmer resident of his inner world, "If I was sent back, what about Renji, Rukia and Yoruichi?"

"It is unlikely that Shihōin-san was sent back. She wasn't flaring her Reiatsu like you or Abarai-san, and Kuchiki-san could go either way. While she was flaring her Reiatsu, it was more than likely smothered by yours and Abarai-san's; therefore, we cannot be sure if the device even picked up her Reiatsu. It is likely that Abarai-san was sent back—especially if it was strapped to him—although I wouldn't bother looking for him. After all, he'll probably attempt to enter the Shinigami Academy in four weeks. You will find him there."

"All right, I'm going to find a place to crash for tonight and possibly the next four weeks."

"Very well. We will bide our time and wait to strike, and when we strike, our hearts will not waver."

Thrust out of his inner world with the words of his Zanpakutō resounding in the recesses of his mind, Ichigo set off to find a place to collapse and sleep the next two to three days away.

"I swear to every god except Aizen, King. If you ever make us stand in a line that long again, I will perform a coup d'état!"

"Oh, shut up!" Ichigo retorted, "We're through, aren't we? Stop complaining!"

"… I'd support the rebellion…"

Ichigo and Inner Hollow-san stopped and turned, as one, in disbelief to eye the frazzled Zanpakutō spirit

"Zangetsu?" Ichigo prodded carefully, noting that the man was sitting on his flagpole.

"No more standing, Ichigo… stand and you will age… shuffle forward and you will die…" Zangetsu shivered.

Ichigo vacated the world with his ears still ringing from his Hollow's unending cackling.

'What did I do to deserve idiots as my Zanpakutō spirits?'

"I figured I'd find you here." A strikingly familiar voice called Ichigo out.

Ichigo raised a brow, "I figured I'd find you here." He parroted, "Any idea what the hell happened to us?"

"Not a clue" Renji sighed, eyeing his surroundings, "I wasted three weeks trying to gather information. All I came up with is that we are over a hundred years in the past, Hitsugaya-taicho is athird seat, and Yumichika and Ikkaku aren't even a part of the Gotei yet."

"Damn, pretty much exactly what I gathered. I've decided to use this to our advantage, though."

"Oh?" Renji raised his own, tattooed, brow, "Do tell."

"At this point in time, at least according to the Visored, Aizen is currently the Fifth Division Lieutenant under Shinji Hirako. I believe we can take him out before he preforms his coup d'état"

"No kidding… not a bad plan. It's something that crossed my mind, but I was still in denial that I'm in the past."

"Well, step one, blow through the Shinigami Academy and break all kinds of records."

Renji grinned, "$5 says I graduate in a year."

"You're on" Ichigo grinned, "With your kidō there's no chance. Kaien Shiba and Gin Ichimaru are the only two to graduate in less than two years! Besides, Aizen trained Gin beforehand while Kaien had incredible Reiryoku with deft control over it. In other words, he could preform kidō."

"How are you so acquainted with the former Thirteenth Division Lieutenant?"

"I hung around with Ukitake and Kyōraku a lot these past 4 weeks."

Renji spluttered, "How the hell can you already have forged connections?"

"My swords."

"What?"

"I have twin Zanpakutō."

"Funny."

"I'm not kidding! Here, I'll show you."

"Ah, so you managed to seal Zangetsu. About time! And you yell at me about Reiatsu control." Renji grinned haughtily.

"Shut up" Ichigo glared, "Anyway, Kyōraku offered to train me because the academy doesn't teach the basic techniques for a two-sword style."

"Aren't you just a lucky duck."

"If it makes you feel better, I had to take Kyōraku and Ukitake shopping in the World of the Living. Kyōraku wanted human clothes and he dragged poor Ukitake along."

Renji sweat dropped, "Sounds like those two haven't changed… or wait… is that how you say it when we are?"

Meanwhile, in a Captain's meeting…

Genryusai Yamamoto eyed his students with wilting exasperation while the other Captains took the mirth in stride. Kyōraku stood proud in his finely tailored black suit while Ukitake just looked plain embarrassed.

"What on Earth are you wearing?"

"They're 'suits', Soutaichou. The latest trend in the World of the Living." Kyōraku informed him gaily.

"Why did you feel the need to wear them here?"

Kyōraku sobered, "Sir, I believe it is in the best interest of the Gotei Thirteen to change. Let's face it, sir…"

Everyone hung on with bated breath.

"Those haori are pretty boring, aren't they?" Kyōraku paused for a second, wedging his thumb under his half Windsor knot, "I wasn't aware someone had installed a heater..."

Shinigami Academy

"What classes are you signed up for?"
Renji scanned his schedule, "third-year Hakuda Technique/Applied, third-year Hohō Basic, third-year Zanjutsu, second-year Kidō Theory, third-year Hohō Applied, second-year Hadō Applied, second-year Bakudō Applied."

"In that order?"

"Yep, not every day, thank god. I have Hohō, Kidō and Bakudō on one day and all the rest on the other. Block scheduling is my new favorite system."

"I'll say. Our class schedule is the same with the exception of the Kidō courses, which I'm placed in the advanced first-year class. Why do you think we only placed in third-year advanced for Hohō, Hakuda and Zanjutsu?" Ichigo inquired, turning his schedule to an odd angle as though it would solve the question.

"They probably don't allow freshman to place beyond the third-year curriculum. It's the only logical answer. Think about it:

· The Goddess of Flash trained both of us.

· You just spent four weeks under Kyōraku.

· I spent four decades with Zaraki and the rest under Kuchiki.

· Not to mention we both fought a war."

"Yeah, I guess you're right, Renji. Who knew you were capable of simple thought processes?"

"You think you're funny, do ya?"

Day 1, Hakuda Technique/Applied

"Take that, Renji!" Ichigo cackled as he grabbed Renji in a full nelson

"Crap!" Renji gasped as he fruitlessly attempted to fight his way free.

Most of the class had halted in their practice to watch what had already become known as the 'Dynamic Duo' go at it again.

Much to the instructor's chagrin, he was already used to it, and it was still the first class of the year. However, he was paid to be an instructor and it was his job to keep them on task, so:

"What are you two doing?" The instructor inquired patiently.

Both students blinked, both answering "Wrestling" as though it were completely obvious and you'd have to be an idiot to pose such a question.

The instructor pinched the bridge of his nose, "Why?"

"Because I already know how to take Ichigo down." Renji replied simply.

"Try me, Asshole!"

"STOP!" The instructor roared.

Silence reigned.

"Thank you. I'm aware that the both of you are already… informed about the course material, but for the sake of the class itself I am going to ask you to stick to the curriculum."

Red and Orange grumbled unhappily but agreed, nonetheless. Five minutes later both were attempting to pull each other's socks down without having their own shoved down.

Zanjutsu

"… You already have your Zanpakutō?"

"Yes…?"

Let it be said now that the Zanjutsu instructor is significantly more… uncouth (yeah, let's go with that) than the Hakuda instructor.

"How the fuck?"

"Kyōraku-taicho taught me how." Ichigo shrugged.

Renji contemplated for a moment before admitting, "I have no excuse."

"Well then." He clapped, "Go kick the shit out of each other while everyone else lines up for an Asauchi!"

"Yes, Sir!" The clashing of metal somehow managed to resound before the simultaneous response.

Renji- Hadō Applied

"Um, sir, I think my schedule may be messed up."

"How do you mean, Abarai?"

"Well, how can I have Hadō Applied before Kidō Theory?"

"What are you babbling about, Abarai?"

"This doesn't make sens—"

"Line up class, I want you to practice Hadō number four"

"Hey!"

Ichigo- Kidō Theory

"If I remember correctly, Renji has his Hadō Applied class now… wait… how does that work?"
"I hope you're muttering the incantation for Shakkahō, Kurosaki!"

"… of wings, ye who bears the name of Man…"

Common area

"Can I point out that I am learning nothing from this god forsaken place?" Ichigo sighed as he flopped onto the grass

Renji grumbled, "Yeah, well it's worse for me. The assholes standing behind me and next to me somehow managed to blow up Byakurai. How the hell do you blow up Byakurai?"

"So that's why you're wearing the girls' uniform"

"So, you noticed, huh?"

"The red really accents your hair."

"Shut it, Strawberry."

"If it makes you feel better, I know the incantation for Shakkahō forward, backwards, upside down, and in French."

"That really doesn't help."

Silence reigned.

"What are your classes tomorrow?"

"Really?"

"Oh right, I keep forgetting we have the same class schedule with the exception of our Hadō Applied and Kidō Theory courses." Ichigo chuckled sheepishly

"You don't need to rub it in, an attempted Seki did that far better than you can."

"Ha."

Day 2, Hohō Technique/Theory

"Welcome class! As is the tradition for this class, the first and last days of the year will be supervised by the Goddess of Flash herself, who is ironically running late."

Ichigo yawned, "I don't need to know the mechanics of manipulating the Reishi around my feet to move at high speeds. It's how every single high-speed technique works, although I still can't work out why Sonido has to make that irritating buzz. Every time Ulquiorra would appear behind me I thought a swarm of bees was trying to run me through. It did make it easier to dodge, though…"

"Quit complaining, at least this class will be a breeze." Renji replied, attempting to quiet his friend before furrowing his brows in confusion "Hold up Ichigo, Ulquiorra's Sonido is definitely faster than the speed of sound. Are you sure you don't want to pay attention in this class?"

"Red and Orange!"

"I have a name!" Came the indignant responses

"Shihōin-sama has the class roster." Came the retort, "That's beside the point, you two will be her 'test dummies'"

"What the hell do you use a dummy for in Hohō?"

"Watch the language, Red!"

"Ah, a lively class, Hamasaki-sensei. This I will look forward to."

"Lively indeed, Shihōin-sama. Red and Orange have volunteered to cater to whatever you need today"

"She's a lying snake!"

"Save it, Ichigo. You're only digging our graves at this point!"

Yoruichi's face darkened with malicious intent, "Oh did they? How nice."

"We're gonna die." Renji whispered furiously.

"It's your fault for cussing, Red."
"You're the one who started complaining, Orange."

"Pipe down!" Hamasaki roared.

Silence reigned.

"Thank you. Shihōin-sama, the floor is yours."

"Thank you, Hamasaki-sensei." Yoruichi gave a slight bow before turning to Ichigo and Renji, before her demeanor did a complete 180.

"Strawberry, Pineapple, stand up!"

Both froze.

"She remembers!" Renji hissed.

"She came back too!" Ichigo hissed back.

"Stand up, you don't want to get on my bad side, do you?"

"Bad side?" Ichigo chuckled nervously.

"Both are so good!" Renji kissed up shakily.

Yoruichi, unfazed by the ass-kissing, continued without mercy. She responded tersely, gesturing to to the spaces beside her.

"Both of you, up here, on either side."

"Yes ma'am."

With Ichigo on her right and Renji on her left, Yoruichi began her class.

"I'm sure you all wish to learn Shunpo—we'll get to that. The first sixty minutes of class, however, will be a demonstration of what I like to call 'Step Under Pressure'; STUP for short. I've brought along thirty paintball guns and ammo to spare." Yoruichi clunked her hand against the plastic ammo container, "All of you will line up and grab one, and then you will move on to the ammo station where I will fill up your gun. Hamasaki-sensei, if you wish to participate, I brought along extra weaponry."

The pair's shocked cries of 'What?' and 'That's an anachronism!' went ignored or unheard, drowned out by the excited but confused buzz of the students. Receiving a nod of agreement from Hamasaki, Yoruichi kicked the class into action, and soon, Ichigo and Renji were facing the firing squad.

"Aim" Yoruichi prompted, raising her gun so she could look down the sights.

"Renji?"

"Yeah, Ichigo?"

"Have you ever been shot with a paintball gun?"

"No, why"

"They hurt so bad you'll wish Kenpachi was attacking you with a baseball bat."

Renji paled.

"That bad?"
"Dodge and pray Renji, and — under any circumstances — do not spread your legs."

"Roger." Renji winced preemptively.

"Fire!"

Renji- Kidō Theory

"Holy hell, Abarai!" The Kidō instructor gasped as Renji stumbled into the classroom, "What happened to you?"

"Ye crazy cat lady! Mask of beauty and grace, flutter of paintballs, she who bears the name Evil…"

Ichigo- Hadō Applied

"You don't look so good Kurosaki," The Hadō instructor told him, "can you focus enough not to blow the crap out of everyone?"

"I still remember the incantation for fucking Shakkahō!" Ichigo declared proudly, albeit his tone was shaky and he sounded confused. Perhaps the fact that the left side of his head was matted in bright purpled paint had something to do with that…

Renji- Bakudō Applied

"All right, I've had my Kidō Theory course, which means I actually remember the incantations now. As long as I focus, remember the incantations, and don't attempt the spells without them, I won't blow the crap out of everyone." Renji muttered his new mantra as he walked warily into the more imminent of the two, dreaded, 'Applied' Kidō courses.

Renji sat calmly in his assigned seat, mentally fortifying himself for the impending horrors. Once he was sure he was ready for the course, the kid next to him just had to speak up, his demure blond hair reminding Renji of an earlier incident.

"Hey, you're the one I blew up in Hadō Applied! Sorry about that, I shouldn't have tried a Hadō without an incantation—"

"THERE ISN'T AN INCANTATION FOR BYAKURAI!" Renji furiously interrupted the student, "You could have killed me!"

The student continued, undaunted, smiling all the way through, "But I hear it's nearly impossible to overcharge a Bakudō, so don't you worry!"

"Oh, hell no!" Renji cried, flailing his hand wildly, "I request a relocation!"

Ichigo- Hadō Applied, Continued

"All right, Kurosaki, ready to fire your Shakkahō?"

"Yes, sensei" Ichigo replied, determined to succeed where Renji had failed (in his first round of academy training).

Placing his left hand beneath his right, Ichigo lined up the downrange target between his index and middle finger and began the incantation.

"Vous seigneur masque de chair et de sang, toute la création, battement d'ailes, vous! Qui porte le nom de l'homme! Inferno et pandémonium, la barrière de lames de fond, marche vers le sud! Hadō numéro trente-et-un! Shakkahō!"

The red energy ball flew downrange, and Ichigo was sure he'd done it. The thing was slow as all hell, but it crawled its way diligently—some onlookers would say 'desperately'—towards the dummy. Ichigo's heart swelled with pride as it neared the target, he was going to get it on his first try! Take that, Pineapple Head!

Then it started to sink.

'No!' Ichigo desperately pleaded.

"Go! Go! Go! Go!" The Hollow chanted, his tone indicated he was enjoying Ichigo's predicament.

A sinking ship, however, is already sunk. Despite Ichigo's desperate pleas and his inner hollow's chanting, the red ball of (not) death and (certainly not) destruction took a sizable chunk out of the dirt and an equivalently sized chunk out of Ichigo's pride.

'Crap.'

The instructor was silent for a moment as he pondered the Shakkahō he had just witnessed. Suddenly, he sucked in a breath, a warning to Ichigo that he had prepared his verdict.

"Right… not enough power…"

"What?!" Ichigo's shriek nearly drowned out his hollow's mad laughter.

Renji- Bakudō Applied, Continued

A very wary Renji, whose request was not granted, fidgeted as he impatiently waited for his turn. His heart skipped as he watched the student to his left execute a (relatively) successful Bakudō.
'This is it' Renji pumped himself up, 'It's attempt two. Admittedly, attempt one wasn't the best. I think Kurotsuchi-taicho, no; Urahara may end up scraping those off his division's roof… I've memorized the incantation backwards, forwards, upside-down, and in French. All I need to do is not overcharge the Bakudō and I'll be fine. Watch me, Strawberry, I'm going to get it on my first (second) try!'

"Abarai, step up to the line!" The instructor ordered for the second time that class.

"Yes, Sir." Renji replied, rising from his seiza position to take his stance behind the firing line.

'Here we go, start with the incantation and go from there…'

Renji breathed deeply.

"Bakudō number one, Sai!" Renji shouted, surging power through the spiritual vents located in his wrist, and arcing the Reiatsu to ensnare the wrists of the dummy, and trap them securely behind its back with a flourish of his arm.

"Congratulations, Abarai. That was debatably the best Bakudō number one I've seen all day." The instructor praised.

'I did it…' Renji grinned liked a madman as he took his seat, 'Success!'

A/N: Sai has no incantation

Ichigo- Bakudō Applied (1st Year)

"Kurosaki, I know you don't have any experience or prior knowledge when it comes to Bakudō, but I would like to use you for our demonstration. Please use Bakudō number one on the test dummy."

"Yes, ma'am." Ichigo replied, taking position behind the firing line.

Ichigo, not about to have a repeat of his Shakkahō failure, breathed as he began to channel enormous amounts of energy through his wrist vents.

"Bakudō number one! Sai!" Ichigo surged the gathered energy at the dummy, effectively blowing its arms clear into the 12thdivision.

"Control the power next time, Kurosaki, and I imagine it will be successful. The only other student we had who over charged Bakudō number one was in a second-year class—earlier today if I'm not mistaken. Although, since he was able to get it on his second attempt, I will allow you a chance to redeem yourself. Encore, Kurosaki."

"Yes, ma'am" Ichigo replied, stifling as much power as he could before targeting the dummy.

"Bakudō number one, Sai!"

Silence reigned.

The dummy's left arm twitched .

"It moved!" Ichigo cheered, "It didn't work, but at least I hit it!"

The instructor sweat dropped, "Well done Kurosaki…?"

Common Area

"I heard a first-year student blew the arms clean off the training dummy with Sai!"

"Really? I heard it was a second-year who did it."

"Yeah, me too."
The school was abuzz with rumors as the students spread the already tired tale about the uncontrollable monster that blew the arms off a training dummy. Ichigo and Renji, meanwhile, were floating each other pitying glances.

"As long as they don't put a name to a face, we should be fine." Renji stated, eyes darting back and forth.

Ichigo shifted uncomfortably, "If only it were that easy. There were forty students who saw me rip the arms off that dummy. If anything, there were more who saw you do it. We'll be all over the school paper by tomorrow!"

Renji began pacing, "Oh man, when we have to release our Shikai it will be worse! The Gotei will be hounding our ass for commitment to a division!"

"Maybe we play the idiot! You know, pretend we haven't achieved Shikai and never achieve Shikai until we graduate. At least then our releases won't be completely overpowered."

Renji nodded in agreement, "That would've have worked had we not shown our prowess. The Zanjutsu instructor won't believe for a second that we didn't achieve Shikai in all our years. While we don't want suspicion, suspicion regarding secrecy is worse than suspicion regarding a need to be nerfed."

"Yeah, I guess you're right…" Ichigo trailed off

Renji snapped his fingers, "I've got it!"

"It?"

"The 'Gentei Kaijo' seal. It's a seal developed for lieutenant and higher-class Shinigami who are dispatched to the World of the Living. If we can get Urahara to develop a pair of those for us we would be at a fifth of our normal power."

Ichigo brightened

"Oh yeah, I remember that. Against Grimmjow's Fracción, right?"

"When we first met."

Ichigo's eyes stared far away, "Right, forgot about that."

"However, we can't gamble on Urahara having his memories."
"We go to Yoruichi then. She knows him best and we know she has her memories, she should know if Kisuke has his memories as well."

"No."

"What?" Ichigo gasped, "How is that even possible?!"

Yoruichi Shihōin shrugged, sincerely perplexed.

"I have no idea why Kisuke didn't come back with us, I mean, he was in the room with the three of us when he tried to replicate Orihime's powers."

"You don't think it was his silly 'indestructible' Gigai that prevented him from time traveling, do you?"

"It's possible. His Gigai was designed to hold in as much spiritual pressure as possible and destroy any spiritual pressure that got by. I don't know how this would have impacted anything, but it's the only logical reason I can come up with."

Renji sighed, "That's disappointing. Looks like we aren't only stuck here, we also have to live through events that we already lived through."

"Yoruichi, what about those time paradoxes?"

"Well, I can only speak for those who believe in souls of course, but because there can only be one of each soul, those circumstances in which someone meets their past self do not apply."

"Good… I think."

"Yes, it is good."

"Thanks, Yoruichi. Kisuke is your third seat, right?"

"Oh damn I thought he was in charge of the Twelfth." Renji mused.

"Spot on, which means you could probably take him, Ichigo."

A baleful grin formed on Ichigo's face

"Oh, hell yeah, I am so paying him back for those 'kill or be killed + resolve = indomitable power' training days."

A/N:

Guess who's baaaack? No promises this time — this story goes on for as long as I feel like with no scheduled updates. I just got bored. I only have the one chapter written and part of one fight scene I may or may not use way down the line, so it may be a bit for the next one.

Anyway, I'll be taking suggestions for future episodes of this 'sitcom' fic if anyone feels particularly inspired.

Whether or not I put in an actual plot later likely depends on my level of interest, so for now expect little story arcs that don't last longer than three chapters.

As for the chronology, I was pretty lazy so cut me some slack. You know what, let's just call it AU! Then I can take some 'artistic liberties'.

Let me know how happy y'all are with the style, I'm trying to create context and details through the dialogue. Lmk how I'm doin.