"Ugh, I hate these things." Hades sighed, throwing on his coat.

"Then why do you go to them?" Thanatos asked in a raspy whisper, holding the elevator doors open.

Hades rubbed his temple, "Just… I just need to make an appearance sometimes, you know? They're my family, and apparently Hera's having a kid soon so I should wish her well."

"Well, I've got your back." Thanatos reassured Hades, placing a hand on his shoulder. He then glanced at the buttons on the elevator, and promptly selected the top floor.

The elevator whizzed up the shaft, and before long a small "ding" echoed inside, indicating that they had made it to Olympus. The doors slowly opened, revealing a crowd of gods and goddesses, enjoying conversation and sipping ambrosia. From somewhere within the crowd, a muscular figured with a curly white head and hair and bushy beard dashed to the elevator. He embraced Hades with a hug so powerful it lifted him into the air.

"Hades, bro! It's been forever!" the man jovially said in a booming voice.

"Aha, Zeus, bro…" Hades squeaked, rubbing his now aching back, "Good to, uh, see you."

"And Thanatos!" Zeus continued, "How's it going? Heard you've been killing it at the office lately!"

"Ohmyfuckinggod…" Thanatos whispered, "Zeus, how the heck are ya?" he jumped back in, raising his voice."

"Can't complain, can't complain." he replied, "So, let's go get you two some drink and then…" Zeus stopped, as he suddenly heard a loud thump. He turned around and could see a woman face down on the floor with a spilled cup of ambrosia beside her.

"Welp, that's my cue!" he said. He lifted the woman over his shoulder, headed into his bedroom and slammed the door shut behind him.

"D…Did he just…" Thanatos stuttered, pointing a shaking finger at the bedroom door.

"Yeah, you're gonna have to get use to that." Hades explained, "An Olympian party with less than three counts of sexual assault is considered quite the dull affair."

"I'm starting to see why you prefer Hades." Thanatos replied

The two made their way to the refreshments table and got some drinks. While reaching for a cup, a soft hand brushed against Hades'. He looked up to see a woman in short and simple white dress, and a complexion slightly darker than most of the other gods. Her hair was a dark and rich brown, and her face seemed friendly and caring, supported in no short part by her lovely smile.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Hades grabbed the cup and handed it to the woman while he took another for himself.

"No worries." she replied in a flowery voice.

The two approached the large bowl containing the Elixir of the Gods, only for both to reach for the ladle and touch hands again.

"Wow, we suck at this." Hades chuckled. While he was certainly nervous around her, Hades thankfully had a well-developed sense of humor from repressing all of his social anxiety and crippling self-doubt. He gestured for the woman to get her refreshment first.

"Haha," she chirped in a warm, flowery voice, "I guess so." After her and Hades filled their cups, she reached out her hand, "Persephone, Goddess of Vegetation, Flowers… that whole general area."

Hades gripped her hand gave it a strong shake, "Hades, God of the Underworld, Justice, and, uh, basically anything underground."

"Wait… isn't the underworld called 'Hades?'" Persephone asked.

"Ugh, yes…"Hades replied, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "And before you ask, yes. It is incredibly confusing."

The conversation was interrupted by another loud thud, and the two turned to see another unconscious woman. Poseidon slung her over his shoulder.

"Well, it's been lovely, but I'd say it's about time I get going."

With that, Poseidon leaped off the mountain and rode a tidal wave back home. Hades could see Thanatos in the background with his mouth agape in shock, and Persephone slowly dumped her drink back into the punchbowl.

"You know if that was drugged you've effectively poisoned the entire punchbowl, right?" Hades pointed out shortly before refilling his glass, "So I'm trusting you to keep a lookout if I pass out."

"Awful bold of you to assume I wouldn't take advantage of such a situation." Persephone responded, giving a playful wink.

"Did… did you just hit on me with a rape joke?"

"…oh Jesus Christ that was in bad taste." Persephone gasped.

"Who?" Hades inquired.

"Sorry, I just kind of have a dark sense of humor." Persephone explained, "I understand if you aren't a fan of that sort of thing."

"What? No!" Hades replied, "No, no, no. I'm God of the Dead, black humor is totally my thing, it was more just… you were hitting on me?"

Bother Persephone and Hades blushed.

"I mean, I don't know, you seemed kind of nice." Persephone said, sheepishly rubbing the back of her head.

"I just…" Hades started, "I never really get out, so I'm not good at this whole…" he pointed at himself, and then Persephone, "Socializing thing. Let alone flirting"

Persephone smiled, "You're doing fine. I just thought I'd like to…" she paused and gently grabbed Hades' hand, "Get to know you a little."

Hades could feel the butterflies in his stomach. Beads of sweat dripped down his brow and it felt as though his heart would burst through his chest. His hands were cold and clammy, but then again they were always like that. He couldn't speak. He couldn't move. Waves of panic shot through his body until eventually something overtook him. He placed his hands on Persephone's waist, gripped her tight, and then lifted her over his head. By now, the party guests were all staring at them.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Hades shrieked as he dashed towards the elevator. Persephone's eyes were wide with shock, and she was too confused to even comment on the current situation. Suddenly the door to Zeus' bedroom burst open.

"Woo, four-and-a-half minutes! A new rec… what's this?" he said, squinting at Hades, "Aha! 'Bout time the lad got a girlfriend!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Hades continued to cry and he frantically pushed the "Going Down" button on the elevator.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF EVER-LOVING FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH MY DAUGHTER?" Demeter cried, dashing towards the God of the Dead. Thankfully for Hades, the door had finally opened.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Hades continued to scream as he bashed his head against the "Close Doors" button. Demeter grew closer and closer, but thankfully the doors closed before she could reach them.

"I WILL LITERALLY KILL EVERYTHING!" Demeter screamed.

Hades hit the "Underworld" button, and the elevator began to zip down. He promptly stopped screaming and put down Persephone.

"So, uh, anyway, how about we go grab coffee sometime?" Hades asked.