For obscurialdefenseclub, I hope you like it, Ana!

QLFC: Puddlemere, Beater 2: July (Harry); Additional Prompts: (dialogue) "If you are going to breathe down my neck, at least have a mint.", (word) refreshed, (object) banana

Astronomy Task One: Write about two people or groups forming an alliance.

SPaG mistakes in the text conversations are intentional. Emails are formatted with (a t) and (d o t) because ffn. Same reason for the space between the exclamation points.

Word Count: 2,906

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Draco wonders, turning to Blaise, who is sitting next to him on his bed while Theodore lounges on the couch.

"The answer hasn't changed since the last time you asked —" Blaise replies.

"Like two minutes ago," Theo inserts.

"— it's rather stressful sometimes, but with all the things you would never get a chance to experience otherwise, it's worth it."

Theo sits up a little bit straighter as he adds, "There are some parts that I'd rather avoid — the adpocalypse, anyone? — but all in all I don't regret my decision. Plus, as a cooking channel, I don't exactly have the hardest time keeping things family friendly. Right, Blaise?"

"Shut up," Blaise — who years ago had made his bed when naming his channel Blaize420 and now had to lie in it — mutters in response.

"You're really not good at this whole 'convincing' thing," Draco points out, his voice completely flat.

"Most of the issues won't come in until you're more popular," Blaise reminds him. "And you said yourself that you'll do fashion and lifestyle things — you've got a video all filmed and edited already — so you're more up Theo's alley than me or, say, undesirable#1."

Theo snorts. "Yeah, a conspiracy channel like his — or a news channel, I don't know — is probably the worst idea to start. No idea how he makes it work."

"It's the merch sales," Draco deadpans, pointedly not looking at his own collection of pins, wristbands, posters, and other things spread around the room, all adorned with the signature lightning bolt.

"Maybe," Theo agrees. "But let us get back to making your profile, shall we?"

"Have you decided on a name?" Blaise questions, already having pulled up Photoshop to create a channel banner.

Draco shifts his head from side to side. "Is DragonTank a stupid idea?"

"You're asking Blaise?" Theo questions.

"Didn't I tell you to shut up? I feel like I told you to shut up." Blaise's words are accompanied by him throwing a pillow at his boyfriend — which YouTube's algorithm also deems not advertiser friendly for some reason, but that isn't the point right now.

"So DragonTank is a go?" Blaise looks at them for confirmation.

"What do I even need a slogan for?"

"Draco. We've been over this," Blaise states flatly. "Brand recognition."

"All the cool kids are doing it," Theo reminds them. "Jacksepticeye, TheOdd1sOut, undesirable#1…"

"Okay, okay." Draco throws his hands in the air. "But we're coming up with something better than 'you'll be next.' That's just stupid."

"You're not wrong," Theo concedes.

"My ideas are amazing and you just don't know how to appreciate them," Blaise responds without any hint of emotion, which causes Theo to snicker.

"You're hilarious." He plants a quick kiss on Blaise's cheek.

"I know."

Draco rolls his eyes. "Can we focus on my problems, please?"

"I will not use that banner, Blaise. I refuse."

"Oh, come on, it's wonderful."

"It's the most sloppily edited thing I've seen since my estranged cousin's son somehow managed to send me his work. And I will remind you that he's five."

"Must be one talented toddler," Theo comments sarcastically.

"This is my face badly copied on PewDiePie in a feather boa in front of a sparkly blue background. Think of something better and do it better or I'm not using your work."

"Ouch." Blaise puts a hand to his chest in mock hurt, but Draco completely ignores it.

"If you are going to breathe down my neck, at least have a mint, Theo, honestly," Draco complains. "Posting a video is not that difficult, I'll figure it out."

"I was just checking if you have Community Contributions enabled."

A moment passes and the only thing they can hear is Blaise working on a new banner.

"What exactly is that?" Draco asks.

"It's for subtitles, to make your videos more accessible to hard of hearing people." Theo shrugs. "Just seems like the decent thing to do."

In the end, Blaise does manage to produce a good banner, which might be because the only thing he actually edited about it is that he added a filter.

Draco's first video gains him all of three new subscribers, bringing him to a grand total of seven.

Two are Blaise and Theo, obviously, then there is his cousin who somehow found him within minutes of the creation of his channel, and a random person who subscribed before he had posted anything.

He's not going to complain.

With every video Draco makes, the number of his views and subscribers increase. Both Theo and Blaise offer to collaborate, but Draco only takes the former — "I have standards, Blaise, thank you very much" — which helps boost his sub count significantly.

It doesn't take all that long until Draco uploading a well-edited fashion or lifestyle video a week morphs into a well-edited fashion or lifestyle video a week plus less well edited daily vlogs.

It makes it easier to become and stay relevant, and his father's flamingos alone provide enough interesting content for it. It's not like they are his only option for content, either; far from it.

By the time his first anniversary on the platform rolls around, he has somehow amassed about fifty thousand subscribers.

His silver play button is in the mail on his birthday, around fourteen months into his time on YouTube.

His channel is not the fastest growing one, but he isn't exactly on the lower end of the list either.

Checking his email every evening now features an increasing amount of fan mail to sort through. A whole lot of it is channels asking to collab without having uploaded any videos even close to his standards. He used to decline politely and individually — offering suggestions and such if they seemed ambitious enough — but now he has a message ready to copy and paste — he figures it's better than not responding at all and involvement in the community is something necessary to grow as a channel. It doesn't harm that is it fun on some level.

On this particular day, however, one of those emails is different. Draco has to refresh the page to make sure that he is really seeing what he thinks he is seeing, and even then he still doesn't believe it's not simply a trick of his eyes and wishful thinking.

He screenshots it and sends it to his group chat with Theo and Blaise.

Bitch, we're famous

Draco: [Photo] Am I imagining things or is that undesirable#1 asking for a collab?

Theo: *spits out drink*

Blaise: hi i am drink

Theo: BLAISE

Draco: Why do we always end up here?

Blaise: i see no problem

Draco: I do.

Theo: aNYWAY

Theo: yes, Draco, it is indeed what you think

Theo: somehow

The very second he calms down, Draco responds to the email. His answer can be roughly summarized with "Oh. My. God. I can't believe this is actually happening! Of course I am in!" Only written in a more civilized fashion.

Obviously.

The response is prompt — which is a surprise given it's around three in the morning and they share a time zone, but that's online celebrities for you — and features the idea of skyping together for further organizing.

Draco is in the second he hears of it and has already sent over his skype name before he is even aware he started typing. There is a good reason why he keeps re-watching the man's videos, and it's not that he is a fervent believer in conspiracy theories, if you catch his drift.

FROM: undesirablenumberone (d o t) business (a t) gmail (d o t) com

TO: dragontank (a t) gmail (d o t) com

DATE: 25 Sep at 03:25

SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Collab?

Okay, I've found you. I'll have to call you at a more humane time, my best friends were here over the weekend and I actually have to sleep at one point.

Is Wednesday at noon okay for you?

-Harry

Draco agrees and reschedules lunch with his parents.

This is obviously more important, and if they don't recognize that, that is not his problem.

Around an hour before their scheduled skype time, Draco begins to panic. What if he's not actually going to call? What if all of this is just some sort of prank? Given the connection undesirable#1 — Harry, he said to call him Harry — has to the Weasleys, it's not impossible, after all?

It gets progressively worse and worse as the time moves on, and only systematically removing all merch he can think of prevents him from freaking out completely.

And then it's noon and Draco does not receive a call. He can't be meant to make the call, he never got the skype name.

Luckily, it's only a minute later that the unmistakable sound becomes audible. He's not sure he could have handled this much longer.

He takes a deep breath and accepts the call.

"Hello? Can you hear me?" Draco's picture on his own screen is still buffering and the other end only shows up a heartbeat or two after he asks.

Harry confirms that he does and then he frowns, focusing on something behind him. "Is that… my merch?"

Shit. He must somehow have missed something. "...Maybe."

"Yes, that is definitely my poster. That's cute. I didn't actually know you were a fan."

How could he have missed a poster? He isn't normally this unobservant, and he had checked the room multiple times!

He must have let his embarrassment show, as undesirable#1 — no, call him Harry — notices and he is not exactly known for noticing anything but the most obvious. Unless one is talking conspiracy theories, of course.

"Anyway," Harry switches the topic, much to Draco's relief. "I found this theory about the fashion industry and I was like 'why not get an expert' and you were the first one I thought of."

"Of course I was. I'm the best," Draco responds confidently. Inwardly, however, he is freaking out. He had stopped looking at every single subscriber a while ago — it simply isn't manageable, DragonTank is growing too fast for that and he had to opt out of even the mails — but he still should have noticed undesirable#1 subbing to him, right?

Harry chuckles. "Exactly. I think you mentioned in one of your vlogs that you live, like, an hour away from Hastings, right?"

"I do, yeah." Draco had mentioned that offhandedly only a handful of times, so Harry — he is just now noticing the successful mental switch — must actually have been paying attention.

"Great! Since I'm located in Brighton, currently, I figured we could actually do this in person if you're up to it?"

"Let me check my calendar." Hell yeah, Draco is up for that.

Bitch, we're famous

Draco: The collab is actually happening! ! !

Draco: In person! ! !

Draco: ! ! !

Draco: Why is no one else excited?

Blaise: because i was sleepin

Draco: It's afternoon

Blaise: so what

Theo: We're happy for you, Draco! Make sure to collect all the gossip or i will be having words with you

Draco: I am truly terrified.

Theo: You should be

Two weeks later, Draco is stepping of the train in Brighton. He obviously hadn't told his parents why he is here, since they are still not believing him when he tells them that he is earning money and not simply living off his inheritance and that "everyone you meet online is a creep". His mother has shown signs of improvement, but it isn't even close to enough to risk telling her.

At least not yet.

He's understandably nervous when he arrives outside the train station where they had agreed to meet. Draco takes out his phone and double checks on the screenshot of the email Harry sent him to make sure they had understood each other correctly — something about always needing to double check being a consequence of the way he had been 'raised,' the air quotes not being Draco's doing — but no, it said to head out at this entrance and wait for him.

He knows for a fact that he had sent the time of a arrival, but somehow the two of them had failed to exchange phone numbers which made this whole thing unnecessarily complicated.

Draco is still trying to decide whether gmail or skype is the more awkward choice in this situation, when Harry literally runs into him.

Draco has to say that never before has he been glad that the other man is not a vlogger. Thankfully, they had agreed to leave Harry out of Draco's daily vlog for a day our two — until their collab is published, as to not spoil the surprise — so Draco isn't filming himself and there is no evidence of this.

"Sorry for being late," Harry apologizes, clearly out of breath. "My best friend's mother — who practically adopted me, as you may know," which Draco did, "was on the phone and I couldn't get her to stop."

"It's alright," Draco responds.

"Let me invite you to a beer, at least. The Prince Albert is right around the corner."

Draco can't say no to these doe eyes, even if it is, like, two in the afternoon, and Harry smiles when he agrees.

"Great, it's a date!"

Wait, what?!

"This is your government's undesirable#1, and I am here with another reason why the FBI and MI6 are definitely watching my videos. Today I have a special guest here with me, as you can see. Come and introduce yourself."

"My name's Draco. I vlog and do fashion and lifestyle videos on my channel, DragonTank."

"That is linked in the description and in the end card. Draco is here as my expert today, as today's conspiracy theory has something to do with the fashion industry. Are you ready? Here we go…"

Maybe Draco is imagining things, but he's pretty willing to swear that Harry had been leaning in for a hug or perhaps even a kiss at one point while filming their collab.

Well, he's staying here a week. That should be enough time to gather the courage and ask that, right?

Right?

Draco leaves without building up the courage, because of course he does. He's never been good with emotions and even worse with romance — as his parents will gladly attest to.

Still, Harry does not flinch when Draco sits closer than they need to or when their hands 'accidentally' touch, which has to count for something.

The video blows up, and they decide to produce more content together.

It's the smart choice when it helps both of heir channels grow — albeit Draco's more so than Harry's — and it's not like they can't stand each other. Draco certainly doesn't mind the idea of spending more time in Harry's company, far from it.

It's only fair that this time Harry comes to him, since his content and Draco's vlogs can be produced at the same time.

"I can't find another fashion-related conspiracy," Harry complains over skype the evening before they're meeting again. "I've checked everything. Multiple times."

"Maybe it's time to branch out?" Draco suggests, wondering why he hadn't mentioned it in the call yesterday. Or the day before yesterday. Or the day before that one. Sometime when they could have postponed their plans, basically.

"What do you think about doing some clothes-related contra factory history?" Harry asks. "My friend Hermione taught me that term."

"What exactly do you mean?"

"Well, contra factory history is—"

"I know what that is," Draco interrupts. "And even if I didn't, it's self-explanatory! I meant the clothing related part."

"Like, Hitler attacking Russia in Winter would have ended differently with better clothes, right? So you could detail the clothes at first and then I could speculate."

"We're gonna need to do research for that," Draco points out.

Harry smiles. "Good thing I am staying a week, right? So we have time to research, film, and do… other stuff."

Bitch, we're famous

Blaise: Twenty bucks say you two fuck during that week.

Theo: BLAISE

Theo: I am dISSAPPOINTED

Draco: Thank you, Theo.

Theo: Three days, max

Blaise: your right, my mistake

Draco: First of all: *you're

Draco: Second: Why am I friends with you again?

Theo: You love us

Blaise: and were rigth

Blase: that too

Draco: You're not.

It turns out that they are, indeed, correct.

Because Harry flirts enough and obviously enough that Draco finally asks if he had been correct about the near-kiss.

Harry nods, thus confirming it. "Can I kiss you right now? I kind of have been crushing on you since I found your channel."

Draco laughs and quickly has to stop himself when Harry pales. "I'm not laughing about you. I'm laughing because same here."

The next time Harry visits, a few weeks later, they get together with Blaise and Theo and decide to live stream the four of them playing Truth or Dare.

The stream is rated mature, because Draco knows his friends.

Case in point, as soon as he gets the chance, Blaise locks eyes with Harry. "I dare you to eat that banana as sexually as possible."

Harry grins. "Challenge accepted." He moves to grab the banana, but Draco moves his hand out of the way as he snorts.

"That's not advertiser friendly, believe me."