"Come here and fight like a man!" Ayato called out the king of the jungles into a fight.
"Sir, first of all - this lion is behind a strong fence. Second of all - this lion is not in a mood to fight at the moment and third of all - this lion cub is only two months old, sir. If you continue on disturbing the peace and quiet of animals - we'll have to force you to leave." Young animal keeper who was feeding that little lion from a bottle calmly answered to Ayato's challenge to fight.

"I was expecting a fully grown lion! Why did it shrink?!" Ayato was getting agitated. Poor power hungry boy was dreaming about this moment for ages just to realize he won't be able to conquer the Jungle King.

"What the hell am I supposed to do now?! I chose this section just to beat the shit out of this creature and it's not even fully grown!" Ayato managed to enter through the fence.

"Sir, it's a petting zoo. I think you might want to try patting this little cutie to show it who's the boss here."
"Hehe, what a stupid creature it is! Ore-sama will rub your belly to become the Lion King." Ayato was using his evil laugh, making the young man roll his eyes.

"Here, it's already full so it won't bite. Sir, please hold it carefully."
"Yeah yeah gimme it already!" Ayato held the little lion by its tiny armpits. Vampire boy then raised it above his head, laughing hysterically.

"Who's the boss now? Ore-sama!"
"Sir, please, don't do that or-"
"Or what?! This tiny creature will attack me?" Ayato walked around with the tiny lion right above his head. Ayato didn't care to look at the creature as he was talking to the young man in front of him.

"Sir, I'm serious, it's for your own safety..."
"It won't do anything to the Great Ore-sama! Muahahahaha- Why is it raining only on my head?"
"Sir..."
"Why is this rain so warm?"
"Sir, I warned you..." And finally, the great Ore-sama decided to take a look at the peeing lion cub. Ayato couldn't believe what he was seeing and feeling - little cub was doing his business directly on Ayato's face.

"Sir, put the cub down... Slowly..." Ayato was trembling in rage. He squeezed the tiny lion a bit harder.
"Sir! Put the lion down!"
"I will kill it, skin it, burn it and PEE ON ITS ASHES!"

"Sir, put it down or his mom and aunts will get mad!" Young man had enough time to scream it out as Ayato was jumped on from behind by a much bigger kitty cat. Fortunately, little lion landed safely on a soft pile of grass. And as for Ayato? Let's just say that Laito might get jealous of the female nail scratches all over Ayato's back.

Ore-sama - 0 : Lion prince - 1

After long three minutes of walking, Shuu decided to rest in the butterfly greenhouse garden. There were a lot of plants, fruits and butterflies. This greenhouse even had some bean bags to relax among the flying flowers of animal kingdom. And so Shuu was comfortably lying on one of the bags, enjoying the tickling sensation of butterflies flying around him.

But Shuu wouldn't be Shuu if he didn't accidentally fall asleep. He was woken up by a scream.
"Oh my god! Sir, are you alright?!" Shuu reluctantly opened his eyes to see... nothing? It was so dark as if it was already a nighttime... But he felt things moving all over his body.

"What is that?" He felt something crawl into his mouth, stopping his questions any further.
"Sir! Don't panic!" Woman screamed out, obviously panicking herself.
"Why should I panic?" Shu slowly lifted his head, making a few butterflies fly away from his face. And then he saw it - he was covered from head to toes in exotic, rare, colourful and enormous butterflies.

"I can live with it..." Shuu thought that it was pointless to do anything anyways, so he went back to sleep. But as Shuu was peacefully sleeping, his brother was having a competition of his life...

The staring competition with a bird.
"Will you stop looking at me?!" But the grey bird with shiny blue feathers on its neck just cocked its head to another side. Its red eyes were piercing Reiji's soul, making poor vampire question his life choices.

"I would really like if you stopped staring at me." Reiji fixed his glasses as the rock dove, better know as a common pigeon, tilted its head once again.
"Cut out this stupid facial expression at once!" But the bird didn't. Reiji had no time to waste on such a useless creature (or so he said to himself) and walked away, leaving the bird with his food.

Reiji - 0 : Pigeon - 1

As Laito and his Bitch-chan were having some lunch in the zoo cafeteria, Subaru was still struggling with the sheep love.
"For fuck's sake! I WILL SUCK YOU DRY!" But the smallest lamb just nuzzled Subaru's face in response.

"Why aren't you afraid of me?!" A kid in a distance started crying because his little lamb left him for Subaru. Sudden cry of a child drew some attention from the sheep and Subaru took this chance to escape. He ran to another animal area.

Subaru was so frantic to get away from his personal fluff hell that he didn't notice one enormous thing - a huge tree branch right across the path. And so, once again, he found himself on the ground, but this time - he slammed face first into the grass.

"I hate this place so damn much..." Subaru slowly lifted his head from the ground to come face to face with a cuddly snout of a rabbit.
"Oh shit..." Subaru was getting surrounded by fluffy animals... Well, 'surrounded' didn't really fit the description... Subaru was buried alive in the fluff.

At the same time, a five years old girl entered the rabbit area to find them all gathered into one pile.
"Mommy, look! Rabbits!"
"Yes, honey, now go and pet one." Girl couldn't decide which one to pick, but when she noticed one rabbit with long white, a bit pinkish fur, she slowly put her tiny hand on it.

"Mommy, look! This rabbit is really cute!" She gently played with the fur, enjoying its softness. But the pile of fluff was slowly rising and girl's pink rabbit slowly turned to face her.
"I am not a GODDAMNED RABBIT!"

When Subaru felt a tiny hand in his hair, he thought it was probably a rabbit paw, but when he heard someone cheerfully call out for her mom, he mustered his willpower to face the happy girl. She didn't get scared or startled to the point of crying, no. Girl simply giggled and put both of her hands into Subaru's hair.

"Big brother, you have the nicest and softest hair I've ever touched," Girl giggled, softly patting Subaru.
"What are you doing? I can hurt you! I'M DANGEROUS!" Subaru tried to stand up, but couldn't due to the rabbits. Girl gave the most innocent smile in return.

"Big brother, my mommy always says that animals like only good people. Rabbits love you, so you won't hurt me." Subaru was left speechless. He stared at the innocent big brown eyes, slowly getting the need to protect her from the filth of this world, including himself.

"You're a really nice person, Big brother."
"Sweetie, it's time to go! Say goodbye to the rabbits." Girl's mom called out for her.

"Goodbye, mister rabbit." Girl wrapped her tiny arms around Subaru's head to give him a goodbye hug.
"Wait..." Subaru tried to sit up, but rabbits weighted him down. Since he didn't want to hurt those clouds of fluff, all Subaru could do was watch how girl left the rabbit area together with her mom.

"It's a first time I was called 'big brother'... Oh get off of me, you carrot freaks!"

As Subaru was struggling to reach yet another animal area, Laito and overly exited human girl were going to the reptiles section, talking about how smoothly this day was going without other brothers.

But here we had Reiji.

"I demand you to stop following me!" But pigeons were flying after Reiji wherever he went and since those birds were wild - Reiji had no escape. Poor clean freak even tried to hide in the most dirty place of the entire zoo - public bathroom, but pigeons were not as stupid as Reiji expected them to be. Oh no, they could smell his fear of bird feces all over his clothes.

While other pigeons were flying and jumping around Reiji, the very first one was comfortably nestled in vampire's hair.
"What have I ever done to deserve such a curse?" Reiji took off his glasses to rub his eyes in desperation. "I know, I will find your nests and burn them! And I'll force you to watch the entire thing, do you hear me?!" Swarm of pigeons only increased. Soon, they one by one were landing on Reiji, covering him entirely.

Just like with everything else in his life, Reiji gave up. He was no longer in the mood to find and watch over Laito. He turned around towards the exit. Reiji's spirit was crumbled just like the cookie that pigeon in Reiji's hair was eating.

When Reiji reached the limo, he was struck by his brothers' appearance. Starting with Subaru... He looked like he just came straight out of a washing machine - clothes were crumbled, ripped and not in their assigned places. Dirt, grass and fur was sticking all over the clothes. His entire look was finished with a hairdo full of cow licks.

"Subaru, don't tell me you fell asleep." Fierce gaze pierced Reiji.
"I fucking didn't! This zoo has cows that just love licking people!" Ah... Now it made sense - Subaru was licked from head to toes by a bunch of cows... And probably something else, because that footprint on his back was definitely not cow's.

Ayato was also lying near the limo, with his clothes ripped apart, his skin in the same condition.
"Ayato, care to explain your appearance?" After getting closer to him, Reiji had to pull out his handkerchief to cover his nose. "And what's that stench?!"
"Shut the hell up..."
"Seriously... Don't expect to have a seat in our limo." Ayato lifted his head from the ground.
"Oh, look who's talking - Mister bird shit."
"Ayato, I will set you on fire and I won't regret it."

"Who's going to burn who?" Kanato's calm voice asked Reiji from behind. Older vampire was not looking forward to seeing how Kanato messed up, but he knew he had to turn around.
"Kanato, I will... What's that thing on your head..?"
"It's an octopus, you imbecile." Kanato gently touched one of its tentacles. "He's coming with us."

"Kanato, if you bring it home, I will eat it when you sleep," Ayato murmured, not bothering to lift his head from the ground.
"I WILL CUT IT OUT OF YOUR STOMACH!"
"We have no place for it to stay."
"WHAT DO YOU THINK THE POOL IS FOR?!" Subaru got sick of listening to this, so he stood up and ripped the octopus off of Kanato's head.

"OCTY, NO! GIVE IT TO ME! GIVE IT BACK!" Kanato was starting to cry.
"You know damn well we can't raise it! Put it back where you've found it!"
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
"Guys, shut up... You're making too much noise." Shuu appeared out of nowhere.

"Hey, what's that in your hair?"
"What? Never seen a butterfly? I am apparently loved by them."
"Tch, did any of us spot those two?!" Seeing how everyone's eyes widened in 'Oh shit so that's what I had to do', Subaru turned red in rage.
"YOU MEAN I WAS MISTAKEN FOR A FEMALE ALPACA FOR THIS?!"
"Wait... What did you just say..?"
"NEVER FUCKING MIND! I'M GOING HOME!" Subaru ran into the limo, slamming the door shut.

As brothers stood there in shock, Kanato noticed someone leaving the zoo. One person was jumping up and down like a child, and the other one was wearing a way too familiar fedora.

"Found them." Reiji's bloodshot eyes snapped towards those two, regretting his very existence.
"They seem fine... Why do they look fine and not pathetic like us?!"
"Speak for yourself," Shuu said with a yawn. At this time, Laito noticed them, drawing my attention.

"Nfu~ Bitch-chan, look - I told you I saw Subaru in that pile of cows," He smirked.
"Tch, fine, you win. Here is your yen."
"It's always a pleasure to make bets with you, Bitch-chan."
"Yeah yeah, but look - all of them look pathetic." For the first time in my stay at the Sakamaki mansion, I wasn't the one to end up injured and almost crying. Surprisingly, I had a wonderful day at the zoo with Laito, who was really liked by the animals.

And as to why Sakamorons were loved so much by the animals? On our way home Laito revealed that he sprayed animal pheromones all over the limo. Those pheromones had different effect on different animals. Today was a good day, but tomorrow was another thing.