Before you read, some of these jokes are original, some came from word of mouth from various sources. If I could cite credit, I would. Nevertheless, isn't it fun when it features our characters? READ at your own risk! Thank you guys for your ongoing support. Keep laughing! Enjoy!

Episode #11: "Deku's Bizarre Adventure!"

Short Story #1

Hisashi and his wife, Inko were sitting at home watching a boxing match. Izuku was spending the night with Katsuki, allowing the couple to enjoy their quiet evening alone. Although Inko wanted a night out with her husband, he insisted on wanting to watch the match. It wouldn't surprise her if he placed money on another match. Despite being a boxing match from a local cable access channel, it was a fight between All Might and Endeavor.

It's a knockout! Winner, All Might!

"This is disappointing," said Hisashi frustratingly. "Thirty seconds?! Damn! C'mon, you are supposed to be Endeavor! Thirty seconds!"

"Good," said Inko with a tone of insincerity.

"What's that supposed to mean," said Hisashi defensively. "I lost the b...I mean, Endeavor lost! It was thirty freaking seconds! What a disappointment!"

Inko blew a raspberry. "Still good! Now you know how I always feel whenever we make love."

Short Story #2

Melissa becomes distraught when learning about her grandfather's death. She immediately leaves Japan and heads back to California to comfort her grieving elderly grandmother. After settling in at her grandmother's house and making funeral arrangements, she wants to know her grandfather's cause of death. So, politely and cautiously, she asks her grandmother, "Grandma, how did Grandad die?"

The silver haired grandmother places her husband's military uniform aside to answer her granddaughter's question. "Your Grandad had a heart attack, sweetheart."

Melissa is shocked. Yet again, it shouldn't come to a surprise. Both of her grandparents are in the early nineties. So, she can assume that a heart attack is as natural a death can be at his age. Or so she thinks when her grandmother explains the origin of his heart attack.

"You see, Melissa. Your grandfather and I were making love this past Sunday," says her grandmother with a hint of guilt. "Things led to another and he just went on to be with our Lord. At least he died with a smile on his face."

Melissa is more shocked. She is horrified to think that her grandparents were having sex, knowing the risk at their age. "Grandma! Why put yourself in such a position? You are nearly a century old! You were asking for trouble!"

Grandma Shield sways her hands. "Relax, child! Although I can't rock a thong like you can, your grandfather and I can still stinking move."

That is more information than Melissa wants to hear. As she tries to help with more tending to funeral arrangements, her grandmother stops her. "You see, Melissa, as we got older, your Grandad and I still wanted to show our love and affection."

"You can do that by sewing and gardening or going out for coffee," interjects Melissa. "I didn't think Grandad had any soldiers left in his platoon!"

"Dear, we had ways to keep the rocking and rolling at a steady pace," informs Grandma Shield. "You see that church across the street?"

"Yes?"

"Well, every Sunday, we decided that the best time to have our lovemaking was when the bell rings," she says calmly. "It was just the right rhythm. It was nice, slow, and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the ding and out on the dong." She wipes a tear under her eye. "Some days, when we didn't have lubricant, we would go into the refrigerator and get that Miracle Whip…"

Melissa stops her grandmother. "Grandma, that is way too, too, much information!" She begins to feel ill. Especially since she used that very jar of mayonnaise to make herself a sandwich.

"Sorry, love," replies Grandma Shield. She wipes a tear in her eye. "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"

Short Story #3

Katsuki walks into the bar where he is meeting Eijiro for drinks. It is there where the blond addresses his concerns to Eijiro. "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday."

Eijiro knows that Ochako isn't a hard woman to please. He says, "Get something sensible. Something she knows is from the heart."

"That is the problem," interjects Katsuki. "I am the househusband! Ochako has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. I'm stumped."

Eijiro can appreciate the kind and sincere Ochako. As she works and brings home the bacon, Katsuki's only marketing skills are daytime drinking, playing games on Twitch, and harassing Deku on a daily basis on scoring with Ochako. However, Eijiro never likes downing his friend. He, then, develops an idea. "Why not make up a gift?"

"Make up," retorts Katsuki.

Eijiro smiles, snapping his fingers. "Yes, make a gift. A certificate! No, a sex certificate!"

Katsuki looks confused, but decides to listen to Eijiro's suggestion. "Go on!"

"Make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it," explains Eijiro excitedly. "She will be thrilled!"

It has been quite some time since he and Ochako had time for lovemaking. He feels that if Ochako spruces herself up and look sexy during their high school days, then the sex can be great. So, he appreciates Eijiro's offer and decides to make that Ochako's gift.

Two days later, Eijiro sees Katsuki entering the bar. Instead of a friendly greeting, he is met with a punch to his head. "Kirishima, you baka!" Katsuki grabs a bottle, shatters it, and uses it as a weapon. Worried and panicked, Eijiro scoots backward while Katsuki follows. "What is the matter," he asks worriedly.

"It's about that damn birthday suggestion you told me," answers Katsuki.

"Did she like it," asks Eijiro.

"Oh, she liked it alright," answers Katsuki while Eijiro stands up as he proceeds to back away. "She loved it! She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the lips, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours!'" At this time, Eijiro is running. Katsuki is now a foot chase. "Two hours later, she comes back with Deku and hands me divorce papers."

"Sorry," says Eijiro while sprinting.

"And an eviction notice," retorts Katsuki. "Since your birthday is coming soon, why not give you an early birthday present to remember. A nice slice of Shove It Up Your Ass!"

Short Story #4

Eri comes home from school and decides to ask her parents a question. "Daddy, where do I come from?"

Emi and Shouta nervously look at each other. The very moment in which a six-year-old would ask that very question of her existence. Of course, they can't tell her the truth of her real existence. However, to keep Eri as normal as she can be, they will do the next best thing.

"Come with us, sweetie," says Shouta.

A few minutes later, Shouta and Emi walk with their daughter into the study. There, the parents get out several other books, and explain all they think she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproduction.

"And that is how babies are made," concludes Shouta. "Does that answer your question, sweetness?" Emi and Shouta look at each other with satisfaction. They feel as though they explain enough without being graphic, at least it isn't far from the real truth of her existence.

Eri puts her finger to her lip as she hums. "Not really, Mommy and Daddy! Izuku tells me that he is from Shizuoka. I want to know where I come from."

Short Story #5

On a warm summer evening, Izuku, Katsuki, and Eijiro are heading back to Musutafu after spending the weekend with the family until their car breaks down. With their phones out of any coverage area, they decide to leave their vehicle in search of the nearest mechanic. As the trio walk along the lone trail, they encounter a rice paddy farm.

When arriving, they encounter a farmer that looks similar to their principal, Nezu.

"Excuse me, sir," says Eijiro. "My friends and I are stranded and in search of a phone to contact a tow truck."

The farmer scratches under his beard. "I reckon it won't be until tomorrow," he says. "I wouldn't advise you to walk any further due to bears."

Katsuki scoffs under his breath. "What in the hell are we supposed to do? Sleep in the trees?"

Izuku intervenes. "Are there any nearby inns for the night, sir?"

The farmer looks around the area. "Well, I can offer you boys a place to stay at the barn for the night."

Katsuki scoffs when hearing this. "Fuck this! I will take my chance with the bears." Izuku grabs his shoulder. "Calm down, dude. It is only one night. Plus, it doesn't hurt for the evening anyway."

"Get your hands off me, baka," retorts Katsuki. "Just because you live your life as a bottom feeder doesn't mean I will."

Not wanting to create any further disturbance, Izuku turns to the farmer. "I am humble to stay wherever you want me to stay until the tow truck comes in the morning."

The farmer nods in compliance. He clicks his tongue. "The barn is a tight fit, but I can accommodate you boys." He turns to Eijiro. "I have a barn filled with cows. They aren't bothersome and if thirsty, you can be supplied with milk. Go and have yourself a night in there."

Eijiro understands and heads out to the barn to sleep with the cows. The owner turns to Katsuki. "You can sleep with the pigs. There are parts of the barn that aren't covered in piss and other excrement. There are barrels of corn for nutrients, if hungry. Go and have yourself a night in there."

"Fine," snarls Katsuki as he walks out to the barn. Izuku is now alone. "Shall I make room with one of them, sir?"

The farmer nods in disapproval. "I love your spirit. I think I can make room for you at my home. Come and follow me."

Eijiro and Katsuki watch as Izuku walks toward the home with the farmer. Eijiro scoffs in disapproval. "How in the hell does Deku get special treatment?"

Katsuki snickers. "Izuku always plays sweet. You can tell the farmer gets lonely. Probably going to provide some milking from the farmer. Squeal, boy! You know how to squeal, don't you?"

Eijiro and Katsuki cackle at that perilous thought before retiring for the night.

The next day, Katsuki and Eijiro walk out of the barn. Tired, hungry, and in need of a bath, they head toward the farm house. As they are walking, they see a stunning discovery.

A row of beautiful women who look like the Wild, Wild Pussycats, Mount Lady, Pro Hero Midnight 18+, Miruko, and Bubble Girl carry Izuku with their hands toward the steps.

Izuku blushes, nodding in gratefulness. He is met with kisses from the girls. "Thank you, ladies. Farewell! I will be sure to come again for Golden Week. Thanks once again for breakfast!" Izuku turns to Eijiro and Katsuki. "Hey, guys! What's up?"

A couple of hours later, a tow truck comes with their tank of gas and the boys are back on the road to Musutafu. As they are driving, the others want answers. "Deku, what happened," asks Eijiro.

"Oh! The farmer introduces me to their daughters. He said that they will take care of me," answers Izuku. "How was you guys' night?"

"I slept next to cow pies," said Eijiro. "So, like a cow, I guess."

Katsuki curses under his breath, especially when mistakenly eating pig slop in the wrong barrel. "Like a damn pig, you baka! Like a damn pig. What about you?"

Izuku smiles. "Very comfy. Like a rabbit. I jumped from hole, to hole, to hole."

Short Story #6

It is Christmas Eve as Kyoka comes home to her boyfriend, Denki after a long day shopping. That evening as they are preparing for bed, Denki notices something on her leg that he doesn't see this morning.

"Kyoka, babe! What is that," asks Denki.

Kyoka answers, "I went to a tattoo parlor today."

It doesn't come off as out of character since his girlfriend is a part of the punk rock scene. She probably wanted something to fit with the image.

Kyoka continues. "On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'"

Denki becomes confused. He politely asks, "Why would you do that, sweetheart?!"

"Well," she replied, "Now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!"

Short Story #7

One day, Yui Kodai goes to the Dr. Shuzenji and complains that her fiance, Tenya Iida is no longer interested in sex. Although against the rules since she is more of the school nurse, she doesn't like seeing her students in a disarray.

"Give him this blue pill," says Dr. Shuzenji. "And trust me, he will have a great time with you. However, this pill is experimental, so be careful."

Recovery Girl tells Yui to insert into his katsudon during dinner. Later that night, she does exactly the same thing.

A couple days later, Yui returns to Dr. Shuzenji with exciting news. "Dr. Shuzenji! The pill worked great! I put it in his dinner like you said!"

Recovery Girl nods in approval. "I am so happy for you, Kodai-san!"

Yui nods happily. "It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!"

Recovery Girl is surprised by the results. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize the pill was that strong! I will be glad to pay for any damages."

"Never you worry," interjects Yui. "That's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway. We aren't allowed there anymore."

Short Story #8

The Midoriyas are rushing to the hospital because Inko is rushing into labor. Hisashi is happy that he and his wife are going to be parents again, and Izuku is going to be a big brother. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father.

Hisashi doesn't mind as her pain is his pain. The doctor leads them to the same room. He and Inko hold hands as the doctor hooks them up to the machine.

The doctor starts it off at 20% split towards the father. Inko responds, "that feels better. Lesser pain than with Icchan." However, Hisashi can't feel anything. Admittedly, he has been drinking since he was at a bar when being notified of Inko's pregnancy.

Then the doctor turns it to 50%. "Wow! The pain is definitely less." She rubs Hisashi's hand. "I am actually feeling better."

"Good for you," replies Hisashi, "because I can't feel a thing."

The doctor, now encouraged, turns it up to 100%.

"Nope! Can't feel a thing," says Hisashi. "How about you, sweetie?!"

"Not a thing, love. Not a thing," answers Inko.

Hisashi and Inko give birth to a baby girl and name her Izumi. As they are heading home, they are met with an ambulance in front of their home. Unbeknownst to Inko, Hisashi prepared a surprise "Welcome Home" party for her and the baby.

Hisashi opens the door and runs into a crying Ochako. "Uncle Hisashi, something's wrong with Izuku!"

Hisashi runs to his son's aid. Surrounded by his classmates and relatives, Izuku is curled on the floor, holding on to his stomach, groaning in pain. He looks at his father. "Daddy! I don't feel so good! My stomach hurts!"

To be continued….