AN: Well I was all super proud of this until I accidentally deleted the whole thing so now I had to rewrite it... On my tiny cellphone... yay. Please curse my phone and not me for any spelling errors! Anyway, I know I've been out for awhile but I'm planning on making a comeback now that I've gotten into miraculous. I've got lots more ideas up my sleeve for it, but I dreamed up this one last night and just had to write it as soon as I could! Mostly Marichat with LadyNoir and Adrinette. Rated M for self harm and death (Spoiler Alert: nobody actually dies cause I hate killing characters. Except Cloe. I don't care if Cloe dies. And random citizens because, you known who cares about them?). ANYWAY, onto the story!

PS: bla bla bla I don't own any of this bla bla bla or else it would not be a kids show bla bla bla.

Also, takes place after Troublemaker since that's the newest one I've watched.

Chapter 1: Not Okay

Marinette sighed again as she gazed out at the city lights from her balcony. Tikki hovered nearby, just as unsettled - if not more so - than her charge. After all, the ancient kwami had seen this before. The discovery they made that morning was one that happened with almost every cat miraculous holder.

*** That Morning ***

Marinette was sprinting to school as fast as she could at her usual late time. She burst into the classroom with her usual belabored breaths. The teacher have her the usual speech. She sat down in her usual seat. And, like usual, stared dreamily at the back of Adrien Agreste's perfectly styled blonde hair. She leaned down to get her tablet out of her backpack when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. Sure enough, Adrien was unknowingly trying to kill her. He slowly arched his back, stretching his arms up with a small grunt. The silky fabric of his short sleeves fell to show off his lightly muscled biceps. As well as a patch of shoulder riddled with angry red scratches. Marinette couldn't stop the small gasp from coming out. As soon as she made it, the boy before her froze. He quickly jerked his arms down and pulled at the sleeve to cover it. It couldn't be... she thought. However the pure panic in his eyes as he glanced back at her only solidified her suspicions. She knew his home life was less than ideal and loving, but he was always so cheerful and laidback... Why would he do something like that? The more Marinette watched him, the more she could tell that he was nearly shaking in his seat. Her heart felt as though those deep cuts were on it instead of him, a horrible burning in her chest. It was all she could think about as the class dragged on. It seemed like both an eternity and a second had passed when the bell rang. She watched Adrien sluggishly packing and made a point to gather her things just as slowly until everyone except for them had left.

"Marinette, listen, I... I..." This was definitely not how she had pictured the first time he would ever stutter around her. "Uh... You... Saw, didn't you?" She just nodded, not knowing the first thing to say even if she did trust her voice. He raked his fingers through his hair, "Well... I know... I know it's useless to make up an excuse so... Please, just, promise me you won't tell anybody?" Her voice came out without a second thought,

"I promise." His whole body seemed to relax at that. "But..." He stiffened. "Please tell me if there's anything I can do to help, ok? I-I don't... I mean... I..." She barely suppressed an audible groan at the return of her stuttering. "Doyouwantmyphonenumber... In case, like, you... Need... Thing any, I mean, anything! Not that you don't already have everything, I mean not everything everything, but... You know?" At least she got the point across. She hoped. A soft smile spread across his face,

"That would actually be pretty awesome." The stuttering was worth it a hundred times over if it meant she could see that smile directed at her again.

"Courseof! I mean, of course! Just let me, uh, get a paper piece... Piece of paper!" she scrambled through her backpack to find something to write on, but the only thing with paper in it was her sketch journal. She whipped it out and flipped to the back, tearing out the last page a little faster than she meant to. "I just, oh! A pencil! Yeah! For writing! Kinda need a pencil to write, haha..." She leaned back down to get into her backpack again, hoping to hide her cringing expression from her own words. Oh wait, didn't she always keep a pencil in her journal's binding? She popped back up, "Oh! Silly me, forgot there was one right here ahahaha..." She nearly dropped it as soon as she picked it up, and hurriedly scribbled down her number and name before she could embarrass herself further. As she handed it to him she realised how messy the edges were. Oh nononononono. He's gonna think I'm some kind of slob that can't even tear out a piece of paper to look nice! He's gonna-

"Thank you Marinette... This... really means a lot to me," he murmured before enveloping her in a hug. She only stiffened for a moment before wrapping her arms around him and trying not to completely melt.

"A-a-a-anytime," she smiled brightly up at him and he smiled back.

"See you tomorrow!"

*** Present ***

"Marinette..." Tikki started, "Sitting here staring at your phone isn't going to make Adrien text you any faster.

"But..." the French-Asian girl whined, "Just in case he does I need to be awake so I can be there for him."

"You can't be anywhere for anyone if you don't get some rest, which is probably what he's doing right now," the kwami argued, raising her teeny tiny eyebrows and putting her hands on her hips in an attempt to look intimidating. Marinette sighed,

"Yeah, I guess you're right... Still though..." No response. "Tikki?" The little red bug had vanished, leaving her girl her own to turn around and nearly scream in surprise.

"Good evening, purr-incess. Did I su-purr-ise you?"

"Chat!" she yelled, having just held back from flipping him over and pinning him down, "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Awww, but why not? It's paw-ful fun," he grinned, sauntering towards her.

"Because one of these days you'll give me a heart attack or something and you'll be accused of murder and then you'll have to flee the country," she retorted. He clutched a hand to his chest in mock horror,

"Flea the country?! I wouldn't even wish fleas upon Hawkmoth let alone all of Paris! What kind of villain do you take me for?!"

"Maybe if you got akumatized," she laughed, trying to picture it. He chuckled dryly and she stopped. "Something bothering you?" He bit down on his lips, but spoke,

"... Yeah... Just home stuff, really. I got someone mixed up in something that I shouldn't have."

"What do you mean?" she asked before quickly correcting herself, "I mean, if it's ok that I ask with... identities and all. You don't have to say anything you're not comfortable with." A small smile tugged at the corners of Chat Noir's lips,

"Thanks Mari. I just... Did something stupid. Thought maybe it would, I dunno, make a difference? Maybe my fa... family would notice in actions what I can't say in words. But instead somebody saw that wasn't meant to and I feel awful about it now. I mean, I trust her and all, she's a great person, she's actually a lot like you, but... I never wanted my friends to find out and worry about me. I don't know what to do. Part of me is glad someone knows but I'm scared too, scared she'll treat me differently... At least than she used to, or something, ya know?" Chat looked over at Marinette, hoping what he said didn't give too much away. At this point he didn't even care if it did. He would've talked to his lady, but he couldn't get a hold of her without both of their masks on and - trust me - he had tried. Marinette was the next best and technically only other person he could run to as Chat considering their occasional hangouts on the balcony. That made them friends, right?

"Oh, Chat... What did you do?" she asked, putting a hand on his bad shoulder. He flinched back and her eyes widened. "You didn't... Did you?" His ears laid back against his golden hair. "Did you cut?" He looked away, hoping that was enough of an answer. It was, as he was quickly pulled into a near-bone-crushing hug. It stung for him at first, the pressure of her arms on his shoulders, but she felt him wince and loosened her grip on that shoulder. "Chat, you silly kitty..." she muttered in his ear, "Why would you do something like that to yourself?" He relaxed in her embrace and let himself drink in her sweet chocolate cookie scent. Everything about her let him calm down, let his guard down.

"I'm never good enough. Not for my father, not for Ladybug, not for my friends, not even for myself. No matter how hard I try, nothing ever works out. I know it's selfish, but I thought, just for a minute, if how much it all hurts could be seen on my body... Maybe I would... Wow, this sounds pathetic now that I say it out loud, but maybe I would get attention, not just for my face or my costume, but for who I am underneath that. But all this proves is that I'm still just a failure..." He buried his face deeper in the crook of her neck, slowly letting the tears come out. There was only silence from her. Just like a I thought... Even the kindest girl in the world can't argue with how pitiful I am.

"There aren't the enough words in the whole world to tell you how wrong you are, kitty..." she whispered. He could've sworn he heard a crack in her voice as she lowered them both to the ground without breaking the hug. "I'm so sorry, I should have caught it sooner. I'm so sorry..."

"Mari, you have nothing to apologize for, I should be the one apologising for making you worry. I shouldn't have put this on your shoulders. I'll head home now, ok?" Chat said, willing his eyes to dry and forcing his arms to untangle from his princess

"No!" she nearly shouted before regaining some composure, "You're staying right here. I might not be able to obsessively make sure both of my boys are ok, but I'm not letting one of them just walk away." Chat blinked,

"Both... Of your... Boys?" Marinette's face immediately turned crimson,

"W-well, uh... One of my boy friends at school - I mean, not my boyfriend! But a-a male friend, uh, you know? Um, he's... Having... Problems." Chat immediately took the chance to dig and have and excuse to stay longer.

"Oh? Who is this boy my princess is cheating on me with?" He snickered a little when her face turned to something between indignation and utter embarrassment.

"I-I... I'm not...! How can I cheat on someone I'm not with?!" she squealed, "And it's a secret."

"Awww, princess, you can trust me though, right?" Chat batted his eyes on a ploy to look as trustworthy and innocent as possible. She just snorted,

"Nice try kitty, but it was a promise." He grinned, heart warmed that she wasn't going to give in without a fight.

"Fine, fine..." He blew her a raspberry, "And here I thought you trusted me."

"I do kitty, but I can't break a promise." she tapped the top of his nose to punctuate every word, "Now come inside." She slid down into her house from the balcony door.

"Wait, what?"

"Exactly what I said, get in here," Marinette looked at him expectantly, holding the door open. Chat certainly wasn't going to argue with going into his pretty friend's bedroom, even if it did make him a little nervous, and slid in behind her. Last time he was in here was... With Ladybug. And troublemaker. And the posters. Lots of posters. Which were still there, of course. That was a little different from being in here as Chat Noir, with the owner of the room, in the middle of the night. He suddenly felt Marinette push him back into sitting on the bed.

"Sit. Stay," she commanded before walking away. He blinked. Was she aware that...? What was she going to get? He doubted it was any of the first few things that came to his mind - or caused a blush to rise on his face. If it was though... Who was he to deny his princess? He quickly wiped the smirk off his face as he saw her coming back with a box in hand. She set it, a first aid kit, down next to him and flicked his bell.

"This is a zipper, right?" She asked. She barely waited for him to answer befpre pulling it down to the top of his stomach. If he thought his face felt hot before, this time his entire body must have been blushing.

"Umm... P-princess?" Chat stuttered questioningly. Marinette's changed from one of innocent bliss to embarrassment at realizing how bold she had just been,

"S-shut up! It's not like your suit leaves anything to the imagination anyway." She carefully went for his bad shoulder and he suddenly realized what she was about to do... His eyes widened. If she saw that both his and Adrien's cuts were the same... He grabbed her hand, trying not to squeeze it too hard in his mild panic,

"Mari, really, it's fine. Don't worry about it."

"But-"

"Seriously, it happened awhile ago so it's already plenty closed up on it's own now. Don't waste your things on me." She seemed about ready to give in until that last sentence.

"I'll waste as much as I want to on you," she grumbled defiantly, breaking out of his grip and tugging his one sleeve down. Chat had to bite his lips together to stop from shouting not to, but he knew that could give away his identity even faster than her seeing the cuts. So he waited for the bomb to drop. And waited. And waited. And...

"Yeowch!" he yelped and looked down at her.

"Probably should be warned you that would sting," she mumbled as after thought.

"Gee, thanks," Chat grunted. She continued to clean his cuts without a word. He let himself relax at her gentle hands, each touch near the sensitive area feeling safe and careful. She finished too soon.

"There we go," she sounded rather pleased with herself, "Now you are free to leave- oh wait! One more thing." Chat looked over curiously and watched her ever so gently press her lips to the skin just above the highest cut, nearly his collar bone, for just a brief second. His whole body shivered with heat, his heart feeling so much like it could burst that it almost hurt. "Now you can go," Marinette smiled up at him shyly and he just gaped. He had to snap out his reverie to answer,

"T-though I'd love to stay longer, I, uh, should really be getting home to sleep." He stood up, taking her hand in his and leaving a soft kiss on the it, "Thank you though, for everything. You have... No idea how much this means to me Marinette." She smiled,

"You're free to pop in any time Chat... But please, just, promise me one thing, ok?"

"Anything," he said with eyes so honest and open that Marinette was sincerely taken aback. She gulped and forced that words out,

"Promise you'll never... Go too far... And... And..." Her voice was getting weaker by the second, as if her very existence didn't want it to even be any fathomable possibility. She didn't even realize there were tears falling from her eyes until Chat wiped them away with his gloves thumb.

"Princess, I won't lie... wherever Ladybug goes, I follow. In life or death. I'm a very loyal kitty. But I do purr-omise to try to stay out of trouble otherwise, ok?" it was obvious he was trying to make his smile playful but Marinette could see the raw honesty in it. All she could do was nod as he leaped back up to the balcony.

Chat Noir could've sworn he heard Marinette's voice right as he vaulted away whisper, "I'm so sorry, Chat... This is all my fault..."

AN: Well, I just wrote that in one day so let's hope it's decent. I tried to slip some fluff in between the angst - kinda worked? Maybe? Kinda? Sorta? Ah, oh well. Anyways, next chapter should be up fairly soon. Next Monday at latest. Hope you guys liked this one!