Disclaimer: The following is a fanfic parody. RWBY is owned by Monty Oum (RIP).

AN: Hoo-wee I am stressed. Nearly graduating, planning to move and get my own place out of my parent's roof, get a job while still trying to make a visual novel that can sell, F**KING THESIS is a nightmare. Finished my internship, coping with a teetering state of depression that is (not really) cured by distracting myself with other things, and toxic relationships. Yeah.

ANYWAYS! Let's get some entertainment and laughs.

Chapter 3

The scene faded in to a familiar cabin in the woods with Taiyang sitting on his porch looking at a tree near his home. Sighing, he closed his eyes and started singing.

See the tree, how big it's grown
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
I laughed at her and she got mad,
The first day that she planted it
Was just a twig

The memory showed Summer holding a dead twig in her hand and sticking it into the dirt with a defiant pout. Tai told her it was pointless since the twig was already dead.

Then the first snow came and she ran out
To brush the snow away
So it wouldn't die
Came runnin' in all excited,
Slipped and almost hurt herself
And I laughed till I cried

The next shot showed Summer goofing up as she tried to parkour her way back into the house but slipped on her wet boots. Yang was in the shot hugging her while both adults laughed at the incident.

She was always young at heart,
Kinda dumb and kinda smart
And I loved her so
And I surprised her with a puppy
Kept me up all Christmas Eve two years ago
And it would sure embarrass her
When I came in from workin' late
'Cause I would know
That she'd been sittin' there and cryin'
Over some sad and silly late, late show

Tai was now looking at a selfie he took a long time ago of him holding his red faced wife with the TV in the background still on showing a sitcom at night. He remembered he ended up sleeping on the couch for days because of that. The dad's eyes started watering remembering how silly and nice it was.

And honey, I miss you and I'm bein' good
And I'd love to be with you if only I could

Looking away from the photo he looked to the family car and remembered how it wasn't always how it looked now. It used to be more of a wreck until his late wife crashed it into a Grimm on the road.

She wrecked the car and she was sad
And so afraid that I'd be mad
But what the heck
Though I pretended hard to be
Guess you could say she saw through me
And hugged my neck
I came home unexpectedly
And caught her cryin' needlessly
In the middle of a day
And it was in the early spring
When flowers bloom and robins sing
She went away

And honey, I miss you and I'm bein' good
And I'd love to be with you if only I could

Reaching behind him, Tai grabbed a photo album full of pictures of his family. Turning pages, there were shots of him and Summer with his kids laughing and playing, birthday parties, first haircuts, pregnant Summer, first day of schools, and just shots of husband and wife.

One day while I was not at home
While she was there and all alone
The angels came
Now all I have is memories of honey
And I wake up nights and call her name
Now my life's an empty stage
Where honey lived and honey played
And love grew up
And a small cloud passes overhead
And cries down on the flower bed
That honey loved

Wiping a lone tear that leaked out, Tai put the photo away and stared at the tree near his house.

And see the tree how big it's grown
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
And I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it,
Was just a twig

The sisters from Patch felt a sense of guilt and worry seeing their dad singing. It also felt like another kick to their heart seeing all those fond memories of their mom.

"We should really call dad more often." Ruby commented, wiping tears still leaking out.

Yang nodded, feeling like this was a bit of a reality check to them. People could move on, but it didn't mean things could still come back. And sometimes we still need something to keep us together.

The content didn't hit the others as hard as the sisters, but they could sympathize. After a few minutes of the projector giving them time to compose themselves, the lights dimmed down once more.

Fragments (United)

The scene started in an all white room with Ruby standing in the center. Piano music echoed as the scene zoomed on Ruby's eye's opening with mic in hand.

RUBY
If I could begin to be
Half of what you think of me
I could do about anything
I could even learn how to love

Weiss appeared in all white like the wind next to Ruby and took the mic from her hand. Twirling, she gave Ruby a smile that had Ruby wide eyed with shock.

WEISS
When we see the way you act
Wondering when we're coming back

Pyrrha soon appeared with a flutter of red leaves next to Weiss and shared the mic with the heiress.

PYRRHA
We could do about anything
We could even learn how to love like you

Handing the mic back to Ruby, both gave a departing smile before leaving in snow and leaves. Ruby chased after them with a desperate look in her eyes but couldn't reach them. Falling to her knees, she looked dejected and tired.

COMPANY
Love like you

Adam appeared from behind the hooded girl without his mask on.

ADAM
I always thought I might be bad
Now I'm sure that it's true

Jaune then appeared in front of her with white cape on and a proud smile on his face.

JAUNE
'cause we think you're so good
And we're nothing like you

When ruby tried to grab hold of the two men, they disappeared like the last two and left her alone. Spinning where she stood, Ruby was close to falling but was caught by Oscar who started spinning with her.

OSCAR
Look at you go
I just adore you
I wish that I knew
What makes you think we're so special

After they stopped spinning, Oscar gave her one last hug before he too disappeared. Looking down sad once more, Ruby felt a hand on her head. Looking up, she saw Blake without her bow and an apologetic smile on her face.

BLAKE
If I could begin to do
Something that does right by you
I would do about anything
I would even learn how to love

As she disappeared like the rest, there was only one more person for Ruby to see. Looking in front of her, there stood her big sister with hand on her hip and a proud smirk. Not wasting any time, Ruby rushed forward and hugged her tightly feeling the warmth she gave.

YANG
When I see the way you look
Shaken by how long it took
I could do about anything
I could even learn how to love like you

As Ruby continued to hug Yang and not let go, the world continued to get brighter until everything was all white. She soon jolted up and saw she was in a hospital bed with a tanned hand grasping her own. Looking to her other arm, she had a little bundle of joy with tufts of blonde hair with red tips. Forming a small smile, she grasped the hand in hers and nuzzled the baby in her other.

RUBY
Love like you
Love me like you

As the lights flicked on, the audience sniffled at the beautiful song. Blake was full on sobbing on how the lyrics fit each character greatly.

"My heart was punched in the nuts again." Nora sobbed while clutching Ren's arm. "But it feels invited."

"S-stop crying, Nora." Jaune blinked a tear threatening to come out. "You're gonna make me cry."

"She-*sob* She was afraid to be a mother." Yang said inbetween sobs. "But the others told her she was the best at loving."

Weiss and Pyrrha couldn't say anything over the tears and shared a napkin to dab their eyes.

"I feel something deep inside." Ren admitted over all the sniffles and sobs. "After seeing that, I have a craving for something on the romantic level."

The others blinked at his request. A few minutes after getting over the last song, Yang looked up to the projector.

"Yo! I still haven't gotten a song with me as the main singer." The brawler pouted. "You got my dad, a group, Jaune, Blake, heck- even Roman to get major roles! What gives?"

Pblt!

Somehow, Yang knew that would happen. Sighing, she sat back down and waited to see if Ren's request was heard.

Fate and Destiny (scrapped idea)

Jaune the farmer and dreamer didn't know why he hesitated.

Here he was in front of one of the fire king's children's room with a cleaver hidden in his sash ready to swing at her exposed throat once close. And not just any child of the fire king, it was Pyrrha, the soldier that tormented him in the streets the moment he found a ring from the stars.

She personally invited him into the temples on her birthday as a special guest. For all the times she's chased him, she still believed he was a minstrel. All it would take was the use of his ring and he'd lost to her. Then he could use his cleaver and-

"Jaune?" She leaned with arms behind her back and an innocent smile on her face. "Could you I request a song from you? I've heard so many other minstrels play in the temples today but they were all gifts for my father."

She was so close. So vulnerable with no armor or weapon. So why is it he hesitated to kill her? For some reason, he couldn't shake dreams of living a happy life with this woman far away from the temples and the soldiers inside. It stirred him badly that it conflicted with what he felt he should do.

Sensing his nervousness, Pyrrha asked him if he was okay.

"It's a little bit funny this feeling inside." He said shakily. "I'm not one of those who can easily hide."

"Poetry." Pyrrha gasped as she mistook his accidental rhyming for his performance. Taking a seat, she let him perform.

"I don't have much money but, boy if I did." He sighed, remembering all the coins he gave away to those who needed it more. "I'd buy a big house where we both could live. If I was a sculptor but then again no. Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show.

The daughter of the fire king was unsure where he was going with his poetry. There was no longer any rhyme and he was starting to mumble to the point it was ruined.

"I know it's not much but it's the best I can do." Jaune gulped as he edged close to her window.

Thinking that he was going to disappear on her, Pyrrha stood up quickly and was about to grab him but halted when she heard him sing out into the streets.

JAUNE
My gift is my song~

The commoners outside heard him and immediately lit their lights as the silence in the streets was disturbed. Turning back to Pyrrha, the two gazed at one another with unsure feelings blossoming.

And this one's for you
And you can tell everybody, this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

Picking up a stringed instrument Pyrrha kept close, he plucked a few chords until he had a melody to follow.

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been kind
While I wrote this song
It's for people like you that
Keep it turned on

Nudging to the window, he stepped out and urged her to follow him. Looking out into the streets, Pyrrha saw the commoners looking up to the minstrel playing and were awing at his performance. Some of the people joined him by playing their own instruments and humming.

So excuse me forgetting
But these things I do
You see I've forgotten
If they're green or they're blue!
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen~

Dropping the instrument and holding her hand, the blonde dreamer twirled her in a dance and used his ring. Pyrrha felt that weightless freedom she remembered when touching him and soon found herself on the rooftops in the streets.

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple, but
Now that it's done

Turning to the temples and then back to Jaune, Pyrrha twirled in happiness to be far away from the toxic environment.

I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind!
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

Feeling that they had to go back, Jaune took her hand once more and pulled them back into the temple of Pyrrha's room. Instead of feeling sad to be back inside her room, she felt happy that there was joy outside the temple.

I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

Many of them were dumbfounded except for Nora and Ren. They know their leader can sing great but just needed the proper confidence for him to soldier on.

Pyrrha didn't last halfway through the song and actually swooned after the lyrics about her eyes were said. Ruby got stuck humming the chorus while Blake and Yang were fanning themselves imagining someone singing them a personal song. As for Weiss…

"This bothers me." She glared at the screen. "If Jaune can actually sing, then what the heck was that poor performance he gave me before the dance?"

"I was trying to be spontaneous and romantic." The blonde embarrassedly admitted.

"You mean he didn't serenade you with the song he practiced a long time playing?" Ren asked Weiss. Leaning back, he pinched his nose and groaned. "That explains so much now."

"Yeah. We thought you were just cold and didn't appreciate his work." Nora added her two scents. Turning to her leader she raised a brow. "What happened?"

"Can we just not?" Her leader crossed his arms and averted looking at any of them. "It's in the past now, so let's move forward. In fact, let's see if there's another song coming up! Preferably with something I'm not singing in."

After a few seconds the lights dimmed and the projector played once more.

Ren Likes Blondes(Carmen)

Lie Ren has always been attracted to blonde girls. Traveling around with Nora, he's seen many women of diverse hair colors but blondes always stood out to him. It was something about their personality and shine that always caught his gaze. And none caught his gaze more than Yang Xiao Long.

Finding out that Weiss invited all of her team to an opera, he low keyed manipulated his leader to speak with Ruby about getting them to join. Nudging Pyrrha into thinking it'd make a good chance to get close to the blonde knight made it so much easier to get Weiss to relent. The only problem was: He hated opera! Once the intro started, he was out like a light.

When he woke up, the ninja found he was on stage in a tunic.

"What the-?" Ren looked at his garb.

RUBY
FIGARO! FIGARO! FIGARRRRO!

"Ruby?" He looked to the little leader singing at the top of her lungs while holding a rope.

RUBY
FIGARO! FIGARO! FIGARRRRO!

"Ruby, what's going on?" "Weiss?"

"Look at me Ren. Look at me!" "I'm a-"

WEISS
SAD~ UGLY~ CLO~WN
A SMALL SAD UGLY CLO~WN OH~ BOOHOOHOOHOOO~

"What the heck is going on?" He muttered, trying to find the exit. Wandering a bit he found a stage with some stares leading up to some sexy feet in a fine dress.

Looking up, Ren gulped and couldn't turn away seeing Yang giving him a seductive stare.

YANG
I'm Yang Xiao-Carmen
And awfully charmin'
I guess you noticed by the way you stare
You're not bad either
Let's take a breather
And we can talk about my golden hair

From the corners of the stage, other students and extras came out to join in singing.

COMPANY
Her golden hair!
You're standing there!
Why don't you introduce yourself to Yang?

"She's pretty like a blossom." Pyrrha nodded.

"Also pretty awesome." Blake added.

"Go on Ren. The love bells have sang." The little reaper gave him her blessing.

Sweating profusely for being put in the spotlight, Ren tried to think of lyrics and what to say to Yang. Matching the tune, he started.

REN
My name's Don Lie Ren
I think you're a ten
I really want to give you some romance
Um… My shoes are leather, good for this weather
Yang Xiao-Carmen please give me a chance

COMPANY
Give him a chance
For some romance
Why don't you ask the lady for a dance?

"It's time for his decision." Blake agreed.

"A life or death mission." Pyrrha clapped at the drama.

"Do it, Ren. Make your stance." Ruby encouraged with a shove to Yang's direction.

Suddenly thunder and lightning filled the stage as the stage sky turned red. Then swooping down on an Ursa was Nora dressed in Viking armor.

NORA
Yang is a lightweight
Gaggling geek bait
I'm gonna smash her!
That stealer of men!

Stomping hard on the Ursa's head, it turned to dust immediately to emphasize she meant business.

NORA
Yang is a loser
How could you choose her?
How could you do that?
Why, Lie Ren?!

COMPANY
Why, Lie Ren? (2x)

NORA
To show my contempt
Her picture I shread!

Taking out a picture of Yang in a sexy pose, Nora tore it to pieces and stomped on it for good measure.

BLAKE
Nora's a Viking

PYRRHA
Pretty exciting

NORA
I'm gonna knock her
Right on the head!

"Nora, I'm way stronger than you." Yang puffed her chest out. "How are you even going to beat me?"

"With my watermelon hammer!" Nora sang with fire burning in her eyes.

"Your watermelon what?" Pyrrha blinked, not expecting that answer.

"MY WATERMELON HAMMER!" The Valkyrie shouted, pulling a watermelon stabbed onto a pole out of nowhere. "Hey Yang. Your acts done!"

Smashing the floor, there was a fissure that traced up to Yang and had her fall under the stage. Before Ren could go down to get her, stage hands quickly boarded up the hole so no one else fell in. While he tried to pry the boards open, Nora snapped her fingers and had the stage hands cover her to change her costume to Yang's.

"Errhm." The ginger coughed with a feathered fan covering her face to get Ren's attention.

"Yang?" The ninja hoped, seeing the same dress.

"Yang?! Hmmph." Nora snorted as she revealed her face and hair donned in nice curls.

NORA
Just like I stated. She's overrated.
A big no brainer with enormous tits.
You should forget her. I'm so much better.
My name's Carm-Nora and I'm hot with wits.

COMPANY
She's hot with wits!
And supple tits!
Her name's Carm-Nora and the shipping fits.

Ren was slowly getting used to the fact that Yang was out of the picture now and just went with Nora's antics. Joining her in a dance, he found himself not feeling so nervous around her.

NORA
Come join my band of gypsies

GYPSIES (SCARLET + SUN + NEPTUNE)
We're touring 50 cities.

NORA
With you my gypsie band will be~
complete

"Perfect." Nora sighed as she held Ren in her arms. "Nothing can get better than this."

"Hold it!" Someone shouted from atop some stares. Up on top was Jaune dressed as a matador.

"It's Jaune-camillo!" Most of the girls except Weiss swooned at seeing him.

"Thank you very much." The blonde smirked.

JAUNE
I'm so fine! The girls know I'm divine.
I'm so sublime
It's really true you know.
Check out my cuspidor.
I'm what you're cuspidor.
I'm what you're looking for.
Nora wont you dump that guy and come watch my bull fights.

"Bull fights, huh?" Nora acted intrigued to get Ren jealous. Judging by how the ninja was silently fuming, it was working.

JAUNE
Bull fights and sword fights
Rolling in manure.
Blows to the head
I can endure.
Fighting bulls is what I want in life.
Plus I could use a wife.
And several fashion tights.
In shades of blue, Nora please say I do.

Once Ren saw the ring in Jaune's hand, he lost it and tackled the blonde to the floor.

"Raaah!" The ninja shouted as he pounded on Jaune's face.

"Ouch! Ren! Stop!" Jaune pleaded through al the blows. "You're supposed to kill Nora in a jealous rage! Ow! This isn't in the script!"

As the curtains closed, there was only a small awkward clap from one person in the audience. All the while, the sounds of Jaune getting beat up was still heard.

"…At least we finally got to see Yang sing." Ruby said as things were so awkward.

Nevermind the random coupling, the whole thing felt so out of character for everyone that it was like looking at someone else in their bodies.

"I got casted as a sad ugly clown." Weiss grimaced with eye twitching.

"It could've been worse." Blake shrugged.

"I got casted as a sad! Ugly! Clown!" Weiss started shouting. "All the while, Yang get's leading lady?! I call hacks! Nay! Bribery!"

Of course Weiss was bitter for not getting casted as leading lady.

"What? I totally nailed that role." Yang huffed. "Didn't you hear my singing?"

"Please. You're pitch was too low where it mattered it felt poor." The heiress criticized.

"I'm about to pitch you low you're gonna feel poor." The blonde shook a fist. "I finally got a main singing part! Let me have this!"

"Fine! But I expect for me to get a main singing part later on." Weiss relented.

All the while, team JNPR was avoiding it all. They've already accepted that the flicks weren't really them. Whatever was said or done on screen was not them. Even if it was awkward.

END

AN: Well, while they try to settle who is the best/powerful in the Unthinkable Growth world, I'm trying to make the next chapter for UG.