It's been such a long time since I've posted anything - and I'm almost reluctantly sharing this. This is darker than I've written before, but I promise a happy ending.

Confidence and Control

Chapter 1: Control

"Mildred, stop!" Maud pleaded, voice an octave higher than usual. "Talk to me!"

"You wouldn't understand Maud -you've not had to deal with her crap!" Mildred pushed past her friend, desperate to get to her bedroom; the only place she could be alone in the overcrowded academy.

Reaching the door to the dusty turret, she almost flew to her bed, staring at the heavily cracked ceiling as a tear finally made its way down her cheek. She shook it off vigorously, wishing she could shake Ethel's cutting words from her head as easily.

Forever The Worst Witch, an embarrassment to Cackle's and the witching world. You should just go home already Mildred - save Miss Cackle the job of expelling you when you fail fourth year. It's really a fluke you've got this far or some kind of sick joke. I bet even the non-witching world are embarrassed of you. Maybe that's why your dad didn't stick around...

That was low, even for Ethel. Mildred had just received her potions test back and Ethel had made sure she'd caught a glimpse of the 'D' written in Miss Hardbroom's signature blood red quill. She'd initially been happy that it was a step up from the 'F' she had received last month, but Ethel had quickly put a dampener on it.

She'd stared at Miss Hardbroom, her hard, unsympathetic gaze had cut into Mildred's own. "That's enough Ethel," Miss Hardbroom had said, barely raising her voice at clearly her favourite pupil. That had been when Mildred had felt the familiar prickles in her eyes. It wasn't fair. It would only be worse if they saw her crying. Ethel would be triumphant and Miss Hardbroom would be horrified.

Grabbing her bag, she had almost ran from the room. Ignoring Miss Hardbroom's shouts to, "Get back here this instant - the lesson is not over." Maud had caught up with her a minute later, out of breath and panting.

She felt sick. Her head was pounding and her vision faltered as she made her way to the closest girl's bathroom. It was thankfully empty with it still being lesson time. Shutting herself in a cubicle she allowed the noxious bile to leave her throat, strangely enjoying the relief it brought. She placed her cool hands on her forehead as she panted her breath back against the cubicle wall.

xxx

Hecate Hardbroom was furious. "She just left!"

"I'm sure Mildred is very sorry," Ada Cackle reasoned with her deputy, a clear warmth to her face betraying the love she felt for the pupil that had saved her academy.

"Oh she will be sorry" Hecate threatened, feeling the word escape her lips like a hiss.

"Don't be too hard on her Hecate," Ada raised her eyebrows, knowing her deputy's need to punish severely when she felt her ego was wounded. Mildred was often the source of Hecate Hardbroom's ire, lacking discipline and a magical background, Mildred was so different from the rest. A challenge.

xxx

"You've barely touched your food Mildred," Enid commented, staring at the barely-touched liver and onions left on her friend's plate. Her own plate had long since been empty and Maud had finished second helpings.

"I'm not hungry," Mildred pushed the cold, lumpy mash around her plate feeling repulsed. "This is revolting!"

"I think you mean 'healthy and nutritious'." Mildred shuddered as her form-tutor appeared behind her. She looked slowly up at the looming figure, past her folded arms and pointed chin to her raised eyebrows and found the famous Miss Hardbroom glare. "I'll add that to the pile of lines waiting for you after today's antics. You may join me in the potions lab at 7pm sharp."

"Yes Miss Hardbroom," Mildred felt a pang of disappointment in her stomach. She made to leave, grabbing her uneaten food to clear.

"I don't think so Miss Hubble," Miss Hardbroom eyed her plate unimpressed. "We do not waste food." She raised her hand, lazily flicking her wrist and causing the plate to float back to the table, another flick and Mildred found her muscles tensing, dropping her with a thud back onto the chair. She tried to move, wriggling with as much force as she could muster, but Miss Hardbroom's spell was far too powerful. "You will be able to leave once every last morsel is eaten," she told her pointedly, before disappearing.

"Hard luck Millie," Maud said pityingly. "It's really not that bad!"

Mildred slowly brought her fork to her mouth, allowing the cold slimy mush in with a grimace. She swallowed quickly, before finding her gusto and repeating the action. Five minutes later with her belly full, she found she could finally leave the table. She felt repulsed. Holding on to that thought, she made her excuses to Maud and Enid and sped towards the nearest toilet, retching and feeling the relief as she felt the meal leave her. "You can make me eat it Miss Hardbroom, but you cannot make me keep it down," she thought with sick satisfaction.

xxx

Hecate stared at the lifeless girl in front of her with annoyance. She had been expecting more of a battle, Mildred usually wittered at her over any punishment, but not tonight. Tonight she had just meekly accepted her fate. Ever the formidable martinet, she was used to her instructions being followed instantly, but never from Mildred. She actually felt annoyed at the girl for not sticking to the script.

An hour later, Mildred placed down her quill and began counting her lines. Hecate, watching her, tutted loudly.

Mildred visibly flinched, wide eyes meeting her teacher's fearfully. Hecate sighed at her reaction, "Use the spell I taught you last time."

Mildred's eyes widened even further. It was clear that she couldn't remember. Impatience mixed with annoyance laced through Hecate's blood, she wasn't used to her lessons forgotten so easily, nor did she enjoy the way Mildred's frightened eyes made her feel.

"I can't Miss Hardbroom," Mildred murmured, head down, not daring to see her teacher's stony expression.

"Not good enough, Mildred Hubble," Hecate sibilated her name dangerously. "Not nearly good enough. How you intend to pass your exams this year is beyond me, I have told you time and time again, fourth year is not like the rest, it requires dedication, and above all discipline - both of which you are clearly lacking."

Hecate saw a familiar glint on Mildred's eye, she had made unruly pupils cry often enough to recognise it, but it seemed so out of place on Mildred Hubble's face. The girl never cried.

"Leave your lines on my desk, and then I believe an early light's out is needed for you Miss Hubble - you look a mess," Hecate commanded bluntly, conjuring the small amount of pity she possessed to not demand that Mildred keep trying to remember the spell.

"Yes Miss Hardbroom," Mildred nodded dully, before scarpering from the room so quickly she nearly fell over her own undone bootlaces.

xxx

Clearly lacking, lacking, lacking, lacking.

Mildred awoke with a start. It was early, the rising sun only just appearing over the horizon as golden light began to pierce her room through her open shutters.

Her stomach churned unpleasantly. It was early, early enough to get away with missing breakfast, as long as Miss Hardbroom saw her leaving the dining hall.

Dressing quickly, she slipped a brush through her frizzing hair before tying them into hasty plaits.

Making her way into the hall, she sang a falsely hearty 'morning' to Miss Tapioca the school cook, who gave her the usual bowl of porridge from a big tureen kept on a warmer. No wonder the food is disgusting if it's made this early and left to sit, Mildred wrinkled her nose.

No-one else had arisen, thankfully even Miss Hardbroom was nowhere to be seen. It took only a moment for Mildred to scrape her porridge into the bin when Miss Tapioca had returned to the kitchen. She sat at her usual table and waited.

Before too long, Miss Hardbroom appeared with her usual popping sound. The teacher's hard glare met Mildred's with a touch of bemused confusion.

"This may be the earliest I've ever seen you arise," she lamented smoothly. Looking at Mildred's scraped bowl she added, "Clearly porridge is more to your tastes."

"Yes Miss Hardbroom," Mildred confirmed, not meeting her form mistress's eyes.

xx

In all of her time teaching Mildred, she had never known her to be an early riser. Yet to Hecate's continued astonishment Mildred had been the first to breakfast all week, beating even herself. She had not expected Mildred to keep it up over the weekend, knowing how much the girl enjoyed a 'lie in' when she did not have lessons, but Hecate was to be further surprised.

Hecate had always been an early-riser herself, knowing the morning was the most peaceful time of day but also time to get the majority of her work done with an untired mind. She didn't need much sleep to function, but Mildred clearly did - as her early morning habit seemed to be making her more and more dishevelled.

By Monday, Hecate had magicked Mildred's tie to neaten itself under her gymslip with a pointed comment about standards. By Tuesday, Hecate had transferred to the dining hall to see that Mildred's hair was even more standing on end than usual and had demanded she re-plaited before lessons. It wasn't just her appearance either, Mildred had been even less focussed than usual in lessons, she had not completed a potion to satisfaction in a long time, her 'D' had fallen sharply to an 'F'; she almost wished for the old Mildred back.

On Wednesday, Hecate appeared to the familiar sight of Mildred hunched over her bowl of eaten porridge. She sighed, taking in the slatternly appearance of the girl, disturbing her morning calm. Grabbing a bowl of porridge along with a strong black coffee, Miss Hardbroom surprised Mildred by sitting down opposite her, rather than at the teacher's table in her usual position. After an awkward five minutes of Mildred staring at her form-tutor as she ate, Miss Hardbroom finally placed her empty bowl to one side and spoke:

"Since you continually insist on disturbing my morning routine, you can come and help set up." With a flick of her wrist Hecate vanished the two dishes and grabbed Mildred's shoulder, pulling her into the void.

Hecate felt Mildred's arm slacken, but by the time she had registered what was going on they had appeared in the potion's classroom. Mildred's eyes rolled as she slipped towards the stone floor. Adrenalin cursed through Miss Hardbroom's brain as she caught her pupil.

xx