this takes place in season 20, where Amanda and Dr Al are back together. Not a good thing as she goes through some shit in here. Liv is there for her and they are friends who trust each other. Obviously we don't know if this happens cause season 20 hasn't started yet. But hope yall like and leave a review. Not sure how long this will be
To say this year had been tumultuous for Amanda Rollins would be an understatement. Her bad luck as some may call it started back when she and fellow detective Sonny Carisi had travelled to West Virginia. If you had asked her when Carisi first started if they would be close friends she would have asked 'what the hell are you drinking and why aren't you sharing?' But they had gotten close and had a real friendship, she trusted him with alot and the most important thing she trusted him with was her daughter Jesse. On the trip to WV where they were set to bring back at catfisher who had gotten a woman raped by a MMA fighter, things had gone massively downhill. After successfully getting the extradition she, Carisi and a fellow officer that had helped with the extradition went out for some beers at the local bar to celebrate a job well done as well to just kick back and relax. The night then got awkward as they went back to their hotel rooms. Carisi having a bit of a crush on Amanda made a move to kiss her. Amanda not wanting to repeat what had happened between her and Nick brushed it off and said goodnight, leaving Carisi to retreat to his room with a wounded ego. When the next morning came Carisi saw why he had thought Amanda had brushed him off. Not thinking that just maybe she didnt want to complicate a good friendship. He saw that she had a visitor the night before and it happened to be the bartender that had been waiting on them. Ever since then it was awkward as shit between them. The one thing she was grateful for was that he was there for Jesse. But their friendship had taken a hit and it was hostile at times for them at work.
Fast forward a few months... Enter in the fact that Amanda had begun seeing someone. Dr. Al. A cardiologist. Noone knew as she had been keeping the relationship as a low profile.
Dating a cardiologist wasnt easy especially when schedules dont mash up. Being a sex crimes detective as well as a single mother sure as hell didnt help. His schedule was just as shitty as hers since mostly he was on call. What she didnt know was the fact he was finding time to be with others and not just her. She had found his credit card receipts one night long after mama and Al spent some quality time together since she had gotten Jesse to bed relatively quickly they took advantage. Of course a couple rounds of sex was enough to tire the doctor out, Amanda being known for her insomniac ways decided to go clean up the living room. As she was picking up his jacket that fell on the floor she saw his wallet had spilled its contents as well. Picking everything up and trying to place it back in the wallet she saw a receipt for a hotel room. She didnt think anything of the hotel room cause she knew he didnt live close to the hospital he worked at. What set her off was the receipt from Studio A. She knew the name sounded familiar but couldnt place it. So the 'detective' in her looked it up on her phone, turned out it was a paid escort service. She felt her blood pressure start to rise. 'How dare he? What the fuck? Mr. I'm busy with work, yeah bullshit...' Amanda being who she was ended up confronting him, demanding an explanation. Oh she got one... Just not the one she needed or wanted. She had let herself start to really care for the guy. She couldnt deal with it so she ended things.
Work was doing her head in. She took her hurt and aggression out on a victim who was an escort, which was very unlike her. Oh she got the repercussions of that. Liv had ripped her a new one. Sad part was Liv was right, she may have been going through something but it wasnt fair to blame the victim. She eventually met up with the victim and apologized. Though the victim had been hurt by Rollins treatment of her, she was receptive to the apology. She even felt for Amanda when Amanda asked her why she wasnt good enough.
It had been some time since she had talked to Dr. Al. Though he had crossed her mind alot, especially for the fact that she doubted herself. Come one someone cheating on you is one thing, yes it's hard to get over but you do. What was the sucker punch was not only was he cheating on her, he was paying for it. What does that do to someone's self-esteem? She went on just as she would and did her thing, going to work and taking care of Jesse. Jesse was the one constant in her life that she knew wasnt going to turn her back.
Then the loss of Esther LaBott. That did alot to her mentally. She had befriended the girl, and all she wanted to do was help her out. Get her and her siblings out of the hell they were living in. The kids were abused by their parents. Bunch of 'bible thumpers' as Amanda called them. The whole case ended up becoming a mass tragedy, as a standoff happened at the LaBott residence and the casualties included Esther herself. The girl that Amanda so desperately wanted to save. Being delivered the fateful blow that she fired the shot that killed the young girl did alot. She lost herself. So instead of succumbing to the vice she had in the past which was gambling she did something else.
"Hi Al it's me. I know you didnt expect to hear from me. But here I am, calling you. Hopefully I'm not going to kick myself for doing this. Can you come over after your shift so we can talk, Please."
Al was not expecting that message. He thought things were done with his detective girlfriend. He admitted to himself he did miss her. Though he wasnt missing her for the reasons she missed him. He missed some of the conversations but what he missed most was the sex. The woman knew tricks in bed that could make his toes curl. He called her back agreeing to meet up.
It had been a few weeks of them working things out. Least to Amanda things were going well. What she didnt know was that good ol Al was back to his tricks. He was lying about his hours at work, saying he was working when in all actuality he really wasnt.
When he was supposed to be working and not realizing his girlfriends boss was there Al showed up with some woman on his arm. Olivia had only seen him maybe once or twice since he and Amanda reconciled so she had to do a double take to make sure that was him, and it was...Only thing was, it wasnt Amanda who he was with. Rafael noticed her just glaring.
"Liv what's up? You're glaring over at the bar like you are ready to rip that guy's throat out. Do you have some sort of a past with him that I'm not aware of?"
Olivia shook her head, "Sorry Rafa. No I don't have a past with him, that's Amanda's boyfriend." Rafael quickly glanced over his shoulder to see the man that Liv was talking about. The guy was tall and very dapper, Rafael would describe him as a pretty boy. "And since she's brunette, that's definitly not Amanda he's locking lips with now." He told Liv not to do anything and he knew that was hard especially since she and Amanda had become good friends. She agreed she couldn't disrespect Amanda by going up to him. So she took a few pics. "I can show her these. I'm going to call her into my office tomorrow and talk to her in private." She and Rafael talked for a little while longer til she had to get home and let Lucy go. Thank God for Lucy, she appreciated everything that woman did for her and her son.
When she got home Lucy filled her in on how Noah and her evening went and that he mentioned he wanted to play with Jesse. She told Lucy that she would get the kids together soon for that. After thanking Lucy and seeing her out she checked on Noah, smiled as her boy cuddled with Eddie, his beloved stuffed elephant. Content that he was sleeping peacefully she went on to change and headed to bed as she was exhausted. She knew what she had to do tomorrow was going to take alot out of her.
She dropped Noah off at school and told him Lucy would pick him up as she would be at work. He asked if she would be home to read to him and she told him of course. He asked about having some playtime with Jesse. "My sweet boy, I'll ask Aunt Amanda about this weekend. Since tonight is Friday maybe I can convince her to come over for a sleep over or at least let Jesse stay over." Noah was content with that. Liv kissed him and let him go off to meet his classmates and teachers.
When she arrived at the precinct she saw Amanda at her desk looking at her phone. She didnt appear to be too happy. Maybe Jesse had a rough night. Just as the guys got there Liv gave them some things to work on.
"Rollins would you come into my office with me please?" Fin looked at Amanda, then at Liv. "Everything okay Liv?" Liv nodded "Yes Fin, just something private I would like to talk to Amanda about." Liv went back into her office. Amanda got up, brushed her hands against her pants and fixed her blazer. She left her phone on her desk.
Amanda walked over to the door of Liv's office, kind of leary at what Liv wanted to talk privately about, she always braced herself incase it was for an ass chewing though she couldnt think of a reason for her to have her ass chewed but with Liv she was never sure. "Come on in Amanda, have a seat." Liv gently closed the door, Amanda had chosen to sit down on the sofa, if she was in for an ass chewing she might as well be comfortable right?
Amanda took a deep breath before she spoke, with a tone of annoyance in her voice. "Look Liv, what's this about? I have work to do." Liv looked at her, twiddling her fingers as she knew she had to tell Amanda but she really didnt know how to tell her at the same time. Her friend, colleague had been through enough already this year. Couldnt she just catch a break? "Amanda there's something important that I need talk to you about, but the more I think about it, this isnt the right place to tell you. Is there any way we can get the kids together to play, leaving us free to talk?" Amanda thought for a minute as Al had text just before she had come in that he was 'on-call' all weekend and probably wouldnt get over to visit.
"Um sure Liv. I guess that would be okay. Jesse's been wanting to play with Noah and Al just told me he's on-call all weekend. Should I pick Jesse up from daycare and head over tonight?"
Liv tried to hide the eye roll as she had was thinking "on-call all weekend huh? yeah not at the hospital but on-call with his hoes." "Sure Amanda that sounds like a plan. I'll text Lucy to let Noah know when she picks him up from school. He's going to be thrilled." Amanda gave a sheepish smile, you could tell she was disappointed but at the same time she expected these ruined plans to happen. Liv picked up on the vibes "Amanda is everything okay?" Amanda chewed her lip, "Yeah Liv, I'm good. Was supposed to see my boyfriend this weekend but apparently he's on call so that wont be happening. It'll be nice to hang out with you outside of work though and let the kids play. It's been a bit." Liv nodded in agreement. They set a time for Amanda to come over and then she went back out to her desk. Seemed her phone had been Grand Central Station with texts from Al.
With the look of disappointment on her face as she told Liv that she was supposed to see Al and it wasnt happening she knew she made the right choice to hold off telling Amanda til they were in more private quarters. Amanda was extremely private and at least if she got upset she wouldnt have to figure out what to tell the guys if she left the office with red eyes from crying or if she was pissed off.
The rest of the day went pretty easy, which was surprising for a Friday. It was Fin's weekend to be on since he was the Sergeant. She figured he'd probably get Carisi to come in and keep him company. Amanda had taken off to go get Jesse. She was looking forward to hanging out with Liv but was disappointed at not seeing Al. They had just gotten back together and here it was again. She decided to text him.
"Al, just wanted to let you know that I'm going over to Liv's tonight. The kids have been asking to play together. Do you think I will get to see you at all this weekend?"
She had gotten to the daycare to pick up Jesse. Jesse squealed when she saw her mama. Amanda loved this reception from her daughter. The teacher told Amanda that Jesse did well played well with the other kids. That made Amanda happy. As they were leaving she told Jesse that they were going over to see Noah. "Yay Mama, I get to see Noah and Aunt Liv. Thank you." Just like that she had made her daughters day. She wondered if she would have a message from Al when she got back to the car.
"Amanda I can try to stop by. Cant promise anything. But if a quickie is promised you may stand more of a chance of seeing me."
Amanda looked at her text as she was gathering clothes for Liv's. 'For fucks sake, Really. That's all he cares about?' She wasnt even going to text him back. He just made her mad. She instead text Liv.
"Hey Liv, I'm about to head over with this crazy excited little girl of mine. Do you need anything on my way?"
Liv was happy to see that Amanda was coming over. She just hated the news she was going to bring to her. Maybe she should suggest some wine and beer.
"I have one excited little boy over here as well. If you want to stop and get some wine and beer that would be good. Get enough for the weekend incase we make this a typical weekend playdate. Drive safe."
'Least someone gave a shit and actually wanted to hang out.' Amanda stopped to get the wine and beer, she grabbed some snacks and some special candy treats for the kids.
She was looking forward to this. She got to Liv's bout ten minutes later. Knocking on the door both she and Jesse could hear Liv coming to the door. When Liv opened the door Jesse propelled herself into Liv's arms "Auntie Liv, I missed you." Liv kissed the top of her head and gave her a gentle squeeze before putting her down to go find her playmate Noah.
Amanda put the booze in the fridge and looked at her phone. Good ol Al was texting 'dick pics' on his break, asking her if she could reciprocate. She told him no. He in turn told her she was no fun and now he was going to have get through this shift being sexually frustrated. She sighed and put her phone in her pocket.
Liv looked over at her friend, she could tell something was up. Since Noah had brought Jesse to his room to play she figured she'd ask what was up. "Manda, what's up? You seem kind of down. I know you were disappointed earlier when Al said he was on-call this weekend. Did something else happen?" Amanda shrugged, not wanting to get into the situation while the kids were still up she changed the subject. "How bout we feed the kids and play for a bit, then talk?" Olivia agreed, she didnt want Amanda all tense. They fed the kids, Liv had made some pasta so the kids were happy. They ate, they played and had a huge pillow fight before finally crashing.
Liv chuckled as they began putting the kids to bed. "Hell I dont know where they get all that energy." Amanda kissed Jesse's forehead and told her she loved her. As Liv did the same to Noah, making sure he had Eddie or they wouldnt be getting any kind of sleep. Amanda half smiled "I'll be damned if I know where she gets all her energy from." Liv then suggested they go change and get comfortable now that the kids were asleep and enjoy some adult time. Amanda's phone began going off and it was Al complaining that he was horny and what not, then again he asked her for some "special selfies" to help get him off while on another break. She told him again that she wasnt going to do that. He just said whatever and that he'd come home over on his long break tomorrow.
She went back out to the living room. "Liv I'm grabbing a beer, you want me to bring over your wine and a glass for ya?" Liv nodded yes. Once Amanda got over to the couch, Liv poured her glass of the red liquid she loved at night. She had to deliver this news and was trying to find the easiest way around it. "So Amanda what made you decide to give Al another chance? I'm not condemning you or shaming you, I'm just curious." Amanda took a swig of her beer. She just told Liv that she did like the guy and enjoyed spending time with him even though it never was much time. Since the golden liquid was starting to hit her she was more brazen and open with her answers. "Plus the sex is great." Liv damn near choked on her wine. "Well way to lay it out there Amanda." Amanda laughed "I aint nothin but honest."
They continued to talk more. Liv finally got up her nerve to tell Amanda and show her the pics from the other night. She just didnt want to see her hurt any more by this Al. He didnt deserve her. Amanda and Jesse were too good for him.
"Amanda remember when I asked you to come into my office earlier today?" Amanda had gotten up to grab a new beer, as she closed the fridge she told Liv that she remembered. Liv filled her glass again as she knew she was going to need it after this. "Well there was a specific reason I asked you to come talk to me. Though at the time I couldnt bring myself to tell you there. I wanted to tell you in private."
Amanda scowled in confusion. What could be so important to tell her that she had to actually needed to have her in private. "Okay Liv, well I'm here hanging out and we are in the privacy of your apartment so we cant get anymore private than this." Liv nodded, they were indeed private. "Okay well here it goes. You said Al has been telling you he's been 'on-call'?" Amanda nodded, "Yeah that's what he said for this weekend too. Which is why I'm not with him." Liv clenched her fists quickly and squeezed her eyes shut. "Amanda last night I met up with Rafael for our usual weekly get together since he left. I looked over at the bar and I saw Al, but I didnt see you. He was with another woman. He was quite handsy with her." Amanda's eyes blazed, she was pissed. Not at Liv but.. "Wait what do you mean you saw Al? With another woman too?" Liv pulled out her phone. "I didnt want to tell you this without any proof and trust me I agonized over telling you cause I didnt want to be the one delivering this news." Amanda looked curiously with an eyebrow raised as Liv went to pull her phone out of her pocket. "Wait a minute did you actually go up to him. Liv please tell me you didnt." Liv sighed, "No Amanda I didnt go up to him. I do have respect for you and your feelings. Besides I was with Rafael." Liv had taken her phone out and was scrolling to the pictures she took. Amanda took a sip of her beer. "Then what is it Liv?"
Finally finding the pics she had been scrolling to find. "I took these last night." She handed the phone to Amanda. "There's a few, holding hands, then him having his arms around her, and lastly the kiss. That was no peck on the cheek and trust me, it took everything I had not to go up to him. I wanted to punch his teeth down his throat."
Amanda scrolled through the pics. She was trying to stifle the anger that was building up inside her. Once again she got taken for a fucking fool. Its like"sucker" was written across her forehead. She scrolled through the pics and as she did she felt the tears sting her eyes. She went to speak she felt that lump in her throat so her voice came out soft and choked up "Liv around what time was this, do you happen to remember?" Still having Liv's phone in her hand she got up and began to pace while continuously scrolling through the pics. It was kinda like staring at an accident, you know you just cant stop looking. Liv took a sip of her wine, "Amanda it was around eight thirty something like that." Amanda looked at her "Okay, thanks Liv. Would you mind sending me the pics? When I confront him again this time I want proof." Liv nodded and sent her the pics. She looked over at Amanda who had finally stopped pacing and sat back down. Liv could feel the hurt pouring off her.
Liv waited a few seconds and reached over to put her arm on Amanda's shoulders. "Sweetie what can I do for you?" Amanda wiped her eyes. "There's nothing you can do Liv. This was my stupid ass letting him back into my life. I obviously didnt learn the first time. I do appreciate you telling me in private rather than at the precinct. Do you even know how bad I want to take an Uber to the hospital he is at and confront him?" Liv had begun massaging her back. "I know you do sweetie, but being this upset you are in no condition to go there. He'd just deny it even though you have the proof and that would anger you even more." Amanda shrugged "I deserved this. I shoulda learned especially from the last time. Shit he paid for it then. Liv you must think I'm the biggest ass." Liv shook her head no "Honey I really dont think that. I actually think the opposite, I think he's the biggest ass."
Amanda sat there with Liv rubbing her back, Liv really wanted to pull the upset, trembling blonde into her arms and hold her. She didnt though, she didnt want Amanda to flip. Amanda appreciated the tender touch and understanding. "So I got played again. I just wonder if he really ever gave a shit about me. I cared about him the first time around, and even let myself care this time. Fucking hell I let him around Jesse and in her life. She cant have people coming and going. What the fuck is wrong with me?" Liv had enough, she was tired of hearing Amanda pretty much blame herself for this. She pulled Amanda in her arms giving her a tight hug. "Amanda Rollins you stop this. Stop blaming yourself right now. Dammitt, he is the one to blame. Not you. You gave him a second chance to prove himself." Amanda let herself be held in Liv's arms. It felt good being hugged and held with no expectations. Liv figured she didnt want to talk but wanted the comfort and she was okay with that. She held her for while longer, bout an hour went by and Amanda was still silent. She looked over and Amanda had fallen asleep on her shoulder. Gently as she could she laid Amanda back on the couch, last thing she wanted to do was wake her up. Thankfully she didnt. She pulled the blanket from the top of her couch, covered her friend up, kissed her forehead and turned the light out. She walked into her bedroom leaving the door cracked enough to hear if Amanda needed her and or if the kids woke up.