They were sitting at the camp in silence. Merlin was lost in his own thoughts, in his own world full of Freya's wonderful smile. Seeing her again was the most wonderful and the most terrible thing that ever happened to him. It was so good to kiss her again, to see her smile again, but knowing that they can't be together, that being happily ever after was not for them... it hurts.

- Why haven't you ever tell me? - Arthur asked with a quiet voice. He started creating many various scenarios where he apparently killed his best friend's love. He had so many questions, but... he had to start with the one, right?

Merlin looked at him and after few seconds, he sighed.

- Because you would chop my head off. - Merlin smiled, but it was a sad smile. Arthur wasn't buying this answer, Merlin sighed and answered again. - Because I didn't blame you. And even then I knew you good enough to know that you would blame yourself. - Warlock answered truthfully. He wasn't afraid of accusation of treason. He was a walking, breathing treason.

Arthur looked at Gwen like he wanted to check if he heard Merlin correctly, then he looked at his friend.

- I killed the love of your life... and that was what worried you? - Arthur couldn't believe.

- She was a danger to the Camelot, as she said... she was cursed. You were protecting your people. You did what you had to. - Merlin shrugged and looked somewhere far away.

Curse... curse... Gwen and Arthur still didn't know what that meant, what kind of curse?

- And what about you and your feelings? - Gwen asked, making Merlin chuckle.

- Since when are they important? - he couldn't stop himself. He regretted that in the same second that this words left his mouths, but he couldn't bite his tongue, it was already too late.

- What do you mean since when?! - Arthur seemed to be angry that Merlin thinks so little about himself. Maybe it was his fault, that whole talking about being an idiot? But it couldn't be it... Merlin was an idiot, he was a prat... that wasn't insulting... that was just their thing.

- It doesn't matter Arthur. My life worth less than yours. This is how always been, is and always will be. - Merlin shrugged, he should bite off his tongue for saying those things but he was too tired, too distracted by Freya, even if she was not here.

Arthur froze, hearing those words that he heard from his father so many years ago. That wasn't true! Without Merlin he would be lost a long time ago, there wouldn't be any Camelot... even if Arthur had a hard time to admit that.

- Merlin, that's not true. - Gwen started but Merlin interrupted her.

- Besides... thinking about Freya in every different category that a Monster that should be killed was treason. I couldn't even mourn properly, because if somebody would learn I would be killed. - Merlin sighed, changing the direction of this conversation.

- Nevermind. You know now... You two should rest, we should return to Camelot as soon as possible. - Merlin decided that he didn't want to talk any more about this, he rose up and went to collect some wood.

But Arthur promised himself that this was not the end of this talk.