Scars: Part 2

Your boot heels tap softly as you make you way down the hall to Barba's office. You press the paper in your hands to your chest, hiding it from any prying eyes. You see Carmon at her desk, she gives you a small nod as you point to his door. You hear voices inside and spy the rest of your team inside. You sigh to yourself, you had hoped the whole ride there that he wouldn't be busy. You pause for a moment, contemplating turning around and coming back later. You glance down at the paper in your hands and bite your lip as you make your decision.

You knock lightly before letting yourself in. They're focused on the paperwork laid out on his desk and seem not to notice you. They're discussing the current case; the evidence you have and what more you need to proceed with indicting the perp. Rafael has his arms crossed across his chest, Olivia is pointing at the crime scene photos, Carisi and Rollins are leaned over the desk shuffling papers around, and Fin is shaking his head.

You smile to yourself. This is your family. You know what's going through each of their heads as they continue to talk. You know their stances on the matter at hand and can see that everyone is agitated at the inevitable conclusion. Silently you make your way over to join them, slipping in between Rafael and Carisi. Rafael sees you from his peripheral. The corners of his mouth upturn slightly, if only for a moment, before he continues his statement to the team.

Olivia spots you and shoots you a confused look.

"Thought you asked for the day off?"

"I did. I... um... Just needed to discuss something with the Councilor. Didn't expect everyone one to have the same plans." You say slipping the paper behind your back. Rafael raises his eyebrow at you but doesn't speak.

"About the case?" Olivia asks.

"Not exactly." You answer fidgeting with the paper in your hands. Rafael's eyes narrow in on you and he cocks his head slightly.

"What'd ya find more evidence?" Carisi asks snatching the paper from your hands before you can act. Your heart pounds in your chest as he looks down at the paper. His eyebrows furrow in confusion as his eyes scan the document. He looks at you then back at the paper.

"Oh, oh man Y/n. Congrats, kid." Carisi says as he wraps his arms around you. He places his hands on your shoulders and looks down at you, a large grin spread over his face. "I get to be Uncle Sonny, right?" You smile softly at him, he truly is happy for you, even though he doesn't understand the circumstances.

"Yeah." You say softly. "Uncle Sonny."

The team stands there in confusion and shock, staring at you and Carisi. You lick your lips and stare down at your feet, your heart feels like it will beat out of your chest. You feel Rafael's eyes boring into you. His hand grazes your elbow. You look up to meet his gaze, then look over the faces of your little family.

"I'm pregnant." You shrug, biting your lip, looking away so you don't have to see their reactions. You feel Rafael's fingers tighten around your arm. You avoid his eyes. You don't know what his reaction will be, you're afraid of what it will be. You watch as Carisi passes the sonogram around to your team. They each seem shocked at first but then their shock is replaced with smiles and laughter.

"Congratulations, kid." Fin says as he wraps his arms around you, and kisses the top of your head.

You hear Carisi say "Look at the lil' peanut!" as he points down at the picture.

Amanda practically shoves him out of the way as she hugs you next. She's talking about how great having a kid is and how Jesse will have a cousin and playmate now, but you're not really listening, you're waiting for one person's reaction above the others. Olivia just stands back smiling at you, patiently waiting her turn she hands the ultrasound to Rafael. Rafael drops his hand from your arm as he takes the picture Olivia is offering him. You watch as he stares down at the little picture. You see tears brimming his eyes, he bites his lip before covering his mouth with his hand.

He looks over to you. You can't judge what he's thinking, or feeling.

"I didn't know you was seenin' anyone, Y/n." You hear Carisi say in the back ground.

Rafael holds your gaze with his fiery green eyes. In this moment only the two of you seem to exist, everyone else seems to fade away he gazes at you, his hand still covering his mouth. You feel like you might lose your breakfast then and there. He reaches out slowly and cups your cheek with his hand, he brushes loose strands of hair behind your ear before returning his palm to cradle your cheek. He flings his arms around you and laughs as he pulls you to him. He kisses your cheek before resting his forehead against yours, his hands on either side of your face, gently caressing your cheeks with his thumbs.

"For real?" He chokes out, a crooked grin on his face.

You nod against his forehead, a tear spilling down your cheek. He wipes it away with his thumb, before kissing you softly. You wrap your arms around his neck and hold him to you. It's not how you imagined telling everyone, but it seemed that they were genuinely happy for you. He pulls away from you, his hands sliding down your body to snake around your waist. He picks you up and spins you around as he laughs heartily. You see the faces of your team swirl across your vision; their confused and shocked faces staring at the display before them.

You smile as Rafael puts you back down on the floor. He kisses you again, his laughter having subsided.

"Woah, woah, woah, what'd I miss?" Sonny says waving his hands out in front of him. "You mean-?" He asks giving the team a confused look. Fin shakes his head with a smile and shrugs, Amanda smacks Carisi in the arm and rolls her eyes at him, Olivia smiles and nods her head with a scoff. Rafael follows your eyes and finally seems to have remembered it's not just you and him in the room. His smile has never faded, it reassures you.

"I'm gonna be a father, Carisi!" He laughs, his arms still wrapped tightly around you. Your smile widens at the shock on Sonny's face.

"No way, man." Sonny shakes his head and turns to Rollins. "Y/n and work-a-holic Barba?"

"Shut up, dingus." She tells him as she elbows him in the ribs.

"Congrats guys. We're all really happy for you both." Olivia says as she wraps both you and Rafael in a hug.

You hear a sharp knock before you see Jack McCoy enter the room. "Am I interrupting?" He smirks.

Rafael turns to him with you still in his arms. "I'm going to be a father, Jack." He smiles at his boss. Jack looks from Rafael to you, then the SVU team behind you. He nods and gives you a smile.

"You have my congratulations Rafael, Y/n." he says holding his hand out for both of you to shake in turn. "Now, not to rain down on this glorious and happiest of occasions, but-"

You know what he is about to say, you've already made your decision. "I've put in my resignation." You pause for a moment as you feel everyone's eyes on you. Rafael's grip on you tightens slightly. "I got an offer to teach profiling for the Bureau." Jack nods.

"I'll have to recuse myself from this case." Barba says realizing what you and Jack are discussing.

"Just this one, my offer letter couldn't have come at better time. You watch as your team frowns at the realization you can't stay apart of the SVU team. "I'll still be around though, I'll be teaching a class at the academy and for all the precincts in the city. I'll only have to report to headquarters once or twice a month. And I'll be at all of Rafi's cases, if I can." You smile nodding to the man holding you. "You guys need him more than you do me anyway."

"But you love working SVU." He says, still holding you in his arms.

"Yeah..." You pause for a moment staring back into his glimmering green eyes. "But I love you more." You feel the blood rush to your cheeks as you blush at the admission. "Plus, this will be safer than field work. I think I'll focus on finishing my book now too." You finish looking back to your little family.

"Well, it seems you have everything figured out." Jack says. You nod slightly, taking in all the faces around you; your little family. You couldn't ask for more. They're your best friends, they know you better than anyone. You look forward to the times ahead; times spent with them as a family and not as co-workers.

"So..." Carisi smirks. "When's the wedding?"