A/N: Timeline: end season 5, start season 6, I think. I

Important stuff about the story: Shiro is not a clone, he is just stressed and has PTSD. I haven't decided if there is klance yet so yeah (There is). I also forgot Lance's bayard turned to a sword, so he is shooting in this story *nervously laughs*

Hey everyone, this is voltron, not fairy tail. If your waiting on 'If you don't breath' I'm working on it. This story was supposed to be a one-shot and a birthday gift for our beloved blue boy, Lance. I couldn't finish it in time, and it and it became kind of long, so it's now a two-shot. In Denmark it's not the 28th anymore, but it is in the USA, and the producers live there, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY LANCE, and enjoy the story

"Lance! It's the second time this week that we had to come to save you. You have to get better" Shiro's voice was angry and he continued saying all the things Lance had done wrong the past few months.

Lance stopped listening.

'you're not good enough'

"Lance are you even listening" Shiro's irritated voice got Lance's mind back to the conversation. "Yeah," Lance said as fast as he could, he didn't want to make Shiro more angry at him. Shiro pressed on his nasal bridge, looking very stressed. "Good. Anyway, Allura and I have thought about setting you on a special training program. I wasn't sure at first but, after what happened today, I think it would be a good idea"

Lance stood in shock. They thought he needed special training, was he really that bad? Yeah, he'd messed up a lot lately, but he didn't think it was this bad.

"Lance, your special training will start tomorrow, go get some sleep," Shiro said and waved him off.

Back at his room, Lance curled up in the corner of his bed.

'They don't love you'

'They hate you'

'You're a burden to them'

'Seventh wheel'

'You don't deserve being a paladin of Voltron'

'You're pathetic'

The voices didn't stop, nothing could stop them, not even the silent sobs that escaped Lance's mouth.

*Next quintant

"Paladins, I need you at the bridge," Allura said over the speakers. Lance lifted his head, he hadn't changed out of his armor yesterday, so he was almost ready. Lance walked over to the mirror and looked himself in the eyes.

"You have to smile, okay, just try," he said out loud to himself. Lance took a deep breath and faked one big, confident smile. "Perfect, now run, we don't want to be late," he said.

"Wow Lance that was fast, you're the second to come, and you are in your paladin suit," Allura said excitedly. Second, of course, he wasn't first, he wasn't good enough to be first. He shook his head, no time to the thoughts, they had to wait. "Thank you, Princess" He just said with the smile plastered to his face.

The other paladins came not long after.

"Paladins, we have some planets that need help. It's just everyday things, nothing with galra attacks" Everyone looked happy, this was the best part about being a paladin. "Hunk, Pidge, you take Exzerus, take Matt with you" Pidge and Hunk high-fived, and walked out, taking Matt with them. "Keith, since you will be here for some quintants before returning to the blades, you and Coran will take Spu-wy" Coran and Keith looked at each other, and nodded. When the door closed behind them, Allura turned and looked at Lance. "You and Shiro are going to start your special training" Lance felt his smile flater. 'Nonononono, don't let them see' Lance quickly put his smile back together. "Yeah good idea, the Lancy Lance must be even better," He said, biting his tongue, to keep his smile in place. Allura just rolled her eyes.

*Later

Sweat was dripping down in his eyes, and he felt like he couldn't breathe. His arms and legs screamed at him to stop. His back arched by all the hits it had taken, and his stomach told him that he was going to vomit. Lance ignored it all and charged at the gladiator. He wished that he had his gun, but Shiro had said that he was going to train in hand-to-hand combat. A hard hit in the stomach, send him flying back into the wall. Shiro said something over the speaker, Lance couldn't understand what, but gave him a thumbs-up. Lance stood up as fast as his body allowed him. The world was spinning, and his legs were shaking. He closed his eyes, tried to clear his head. 'You can do this, you have to, you can't give up'. Lance opened his eyes, just in time to see the gladiator, he blocked a hit coming at him, and the gladiator in the chest. The robot hit the floor with a loud sound, and before it could get up Lance stamped it on the head, and the Gladiator stopped moving.

"Lance, that's enough for today. Go get something to eat and some sleep" Shiro said over the speaker, and the doors opened. Lance was on his way over to them when Shiro called his name. "Lance, before you go, do you need a cryopod? You took some pretty hard hits" The concerns in Shiro's voice was real, but Lance shook his head "No, I'm good, nothing some sleep can't fix"

Lance thought about going to the kitchen and get something to eat, but changed his mind, he wasn't hungry. So he just hurried back to his room.

*A few weeks after

Lance had barely eaten and slept for the past weeks. All he'd done was training, in the day he was doing the special training, and in the night he was doing some shooting practice. No one had noticed, they were all busy with the war.

"Paladins, we have a galra attack!"

Lance was ready and just stormed down to Red's hangar. When he saw her, he was filled with sadness. It was not like he didn't like her, he loved her, but she wasn't Blue. He blocked the sadness and smiled at her. "Are you ready?" He asked, petting her big paw. A warm purr was all he needed as an answer. "Then let's go kick some galra butt"

"Lance, Pidge! Get ready to board the galraship" Shiro said over the coms

"Roger that," They said in unison.

The red and green lions flew over to the side of the ship, and Red blasted a hole so Pidge and Lance could go in.

"Hurry Lance, soon the guards will come" Pidge yelled, running as fast as she could towards the control-panel, Lance was right behind her but stopped when he heard the sound of metal feet running. "Pidge, go get the info we need, I will cover you," Lance said and turned, already having his bayard and shield activated. Pidge didn't have time to argue before Lance shielded her from a blast with his shield. "NOW" he yelled, shooting a robot guard in the head. "Right" Pidge mumbled, and hurried over the panel and started downloading data about the prisoner.

"Got it. Let's get out of here" Pidge yelled to Lance. "OK," Lance yelled back, blocking another blast. They started running, Pidge in the front and Lance in the back. "Why can't they just would give us a break, they have been shooting constantly for 20 doboshes," Lance said with a corky smile. "Shut up Lance, we don't have time for you to joke," Pidge said hash. She turned her attention to the hole where the lions were.

"Shiro, we are almost out, and we got the information too," She said over the coms. While her attention was on her conversation with Shiro, a guard took the opening and shoot a cannon look-a-like gun… thing. The blast was as big as a fist, with a blue light to it. Lance didn't have time to warn Pidge, so he did the only thing he could think of, shield her with his body. He jumped in between Pidge and the blast. Everything was in slow motion, Pidge turned looking Lance in the eyes, her confusion turning into horror. When, everything went fast.

The blast hit Lance on the lower left side of his back, and he choked back a scream. He hit the cold, metal floor hard. Not dwelling at the pain, Lance turned to his side. He shoot the galra soldier fast, once in the arm he was holding the gun in, and once in the leg. Lance hurried to stand up, even though his body begged him not to. "Come on, we're almost at the lions," Lance said, taking Pidge's hand and started to run.

Everything ached, and he started to see black spots. Lance didn't slow down, if he did, Pidge could get hurt. "H-how… How can you run?" Pidge's voice was filled with concern and confusion "The blast was nothing like gladiator level 50's hits," Lance said, like a matter of fact. Lance knew it was a lie, but Pidge didn't. That blast was one of the most painful things he had ever experience, the only things to top was dying and getting blown up. And to add to the pain, a level 50 gladiator had beaten up his back pretty bad, so bad that he had gotten a wound almost exactly where the blast had hit. That wound was not healed yet, so this was going to hurt a lot when the adrenalin would start to wear off.

"W-what?! Level 50! We are not that high" Pidge looked at him even more confused. "Well, the team are not, but I am. You know that special training Shiro and Allura said I should do, I think I just reached level 60" Lance didn't even look proud. "Really, why haven't Shiro and Allura said anything," Pidge asked looking at Lance, but the blue paladin didn't say anything.

xXx

"Shiro, we are finally in our lions," Pidge said over the coms. "Great, everyone, fall back," Shiro said. He took the lead, flying towards the castle of lions.

Everything was turning black, and Lance felt his stomach turn, but he swallowed it back, no way he was going to vomit in Red. A concerned purring sound could be heard in his head. Red. "I'm okay, girl, just exhausted," Lance said with a smile, he didn't want this amazing lion to be concerned for a pathetic human like himself. "Could you drive, I'm really tired, and we don't want you to hit stuff?" Lance said with a little smile. Red just gave an agreeing humph.

They were last, but it was fine, he had been the furthest away from the castle. He got out of Red, and started walking towards his room, but met Pidge on the way. "Hey Lance, are you okay?" Pidge asked concerned. "Yeah, why shouldn't I be?" Lance asked, and smiled. "You damn well know why. You took a huge blast, and by the look of it, it was an electric blast" Pidge said frustrated. "I'm good, okay. But I'm really tired, as you said I took a big hit" Lance said, and patted Pidge on her back.

Lance hurried back to his room, he didn't want to meet anyone else. He locked the door and stripped his armor and the black suit under it. Lance walked out to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. A big, bloody wound could now be seen on the lower, left side of his back.

"Shit" Lance mumbled under his breath.

*Next quintant

"-And Lance just leaned to the side and made two amazing shots. You should have thought he would pass out or something like that, but he just stood up and started running, while dragging me with him! When I asked about it he just said 'it's not as bad as the level 50 gladiator' that guy is crazy" Pidge was in the middle of telling the story, about her and Lance escape, eagerly to Hunk, Coran, Matt, and Shiro.

Lance came in just to hear the end of it. "Lance, is that true" Hunk said amazed. "Yeah, I guess," Lance said, turning his back to the others. He took a plate and filled it with food goo. When he turned around, and they all looked intense at him. "Guys, I'm hungry, so spill what you want to say," Lance said, and started to eat. It was the first time he got something to eat in over 36 hours, he should really start to remember to eat.

"Katie said something with level 50 gladiator, was that an exaggeration or was it true" Matt finally asked. Lance hadn't talked much to Matt, it wasn't because he didn't like him, Matt was honestly an amazing person. Lance just wanted to give Pidge some time with her brother. "Truth," Lance said without hesitation and took another spoonful of food goo. "How do you even know that?" Shiro asked confused. "Oh right, you don't know. Now that I checked, I can say with certainty that I'm at level 60 in your special training program" Lace said, and continued eating.

Everyone's jaw dropped. "Can we see you fight a level 50" Hunk asked excitedly. 'Lance you can't, your wound is still bleeding, you won't be able to fight and even if you were you would make the wound worse' A little voice in his head said, he tried to ignore it. "Sure, hand-to-hand combat or gun fight?" Lance said with a smile.

xXx

'I'm going to die'

"Training Level 50 hand-to-hand combat start!" A gladiator appeared, and Lance was ready. Level 50 gladiator was slower than level 60, and the hits were easier to block but not easy enough. And in any case, fighting a high-level gladiator, with a big wound on your back, was and is hard. He heard someone scream his name when he hit the wall with his back first. He just gave thumbs-up and jumped back up delivering the final blow to the gladiator.

"Oh my god, Lance are you okay? You landed on your back, should I ask Coran to get a cryopod ready?" Pidge asked knowing that Lance back should still be wounded, or at least hurt a little after the blast the day before. "No need, I'm good, I just need a bath," Lance said with a smile. "Hey Hunk, my man, could you make something delicious to eat, I'm starving" Lance said, with a confident smile. "Sure buddy, you deserve it after that fight" Hunk said and dragged Pidge with him, saying 'You need to help me' or something like that. "That was amazing, but… I still want you to train because I want you to become even better. I don't like seeing you hurt, maybe I could ask Keith to help you with the hand-to-hand combat, next time he comes to visits" Shiro said with a smile and patted Lance on the shoulder. Lance knew it was meant as a compliment, but it still hurt him.

'That's right, you're not good enough. Not as good as Keith'

Lance shook his head and walked over to his room. He locked the door and looked at his hand.

"quiznak"

It was filled with blood. Lance looked at his shirt, there was a big stain of blood, he had to change his bandage and shirt before he could go down in the kitchen.

After Lance had taken a bath, put new bandages on and changed his clothes, he prepared himself to smile. Again.

*One month after

Lance could barely stand, was he sick? Did he just stand up to fast? Some food would help, yeah it would. Lance sat down on his bed again. His head was spinning. He had almost not eaten or slept for almost 2 months, and he knew it wasn't healthy.

Lance had only slept 1-2 hours every night for the past 3 weeks. The voices had become louder, and his homesickness gave his depression fuel. And to make matters worse, his wound was infected, so everytime he moved, his back screamed in agony. Because of the infection the wound didn't close, that meant he continued losing blood, it wasn't that bad because he could drink water and eat, but he still suffered dizziness as a side-effect.

The special training program was still a thing he had to do, so his hands continued being stiff and bloody from hitting the metal gladiator robots. Because of his terrible sleeping schedule, he also trained around 12am to 3am. In other words, he was miserable, and it continued downhill.

xXx

"Lance shut up and be serious" Allura yelled over the coms under a mission. Lance had made a joke about the galras. That had been the last time Lance made a joke on missions -no- It was the last time he had talked on a mission, beside the important stuff. But no one noticed.

"If we optimize the gendocam like that, our fights with a galraship would be so much easier," Pidge said, already starting to type the program to whatever they talked about. "Yeah, that's an awesome idea Hunk," Matt said and fist-bumped Hunk. That was the last time Lance walked near the lab. Not even Hunk noticed.

"Lance, I'm the leader. I make the decisions. So stay out of it" Shiro yelled at him. It wasn't the first time he yelled at Lance like that, last time was about Lotor. But he was unstable this time. He kept his smile though, so no one noticed the shattering the happened inside him.

Lance stopped doing a lot of things, and no one thought a second time about it.

'You're stupid'

'You're weak'

'You're pathetic'

'Seventh wheel'

'Keith should have your place'

'Voltron deserves better'

'You're the worst paladin'

'You're the weakest paladin'

'You don't deserve their love'

'They don't even love you'

'Hunk doesn't see you as his best friend'

'Pidge thinks you're useless'

'Shiro thinks you're weak'

'Allura thinks you're one big joke'

'Coran thinks you're stupid'

'You're a burden'

The voices were like knives, that stabbed him in the heart.

He couldn't do it anymore, his family didn't deserve this mess. He wasn't good enough, they deserved better, Red deserved better, Blue deserved better. Hot tears started falling down his cheeks. No one deserved this pathetic human. Both his family and space family had put up with him for too long, if he disappeared, they would be happier.

I'm sorry

I'm sorry for everything

I'm sorry for all the trouble I have coursed

You all deserve better

I hope you will find a better red paladin

Goodbye from the former red and blue paladin,

Lance.

Lance looked over the note and tapped it on his door. This was his goodbye. Inside his room, there were some letters to each of his space family, even Keith.

He walked into the kitchen and took some of the delicious food Hunk had made. Lance was going to miss the big guy, his hugs, his food, and their inside jokes.

"Goodbye Hunk" Lance whispered with fresh tears in his eyes.

Lance walked silently down to the lab, he hoped both Pidge and Matt had gone to sleep. He peeked in at the lab, no one was there. Lance walked over to the computer, he logged in. What was it Pidge had said to do if you didn't want to be followed. He knew they didn't expect him to listen, but he did. Lance typed in some things and transferred it to a USB stick. All he needed now was a ship, he could take the escape pod.

"Goodbye Pidge. Goodbye Allura. Goodbye Shiro. Goodbye Coran. You where the best family" Lance mumbled with tears streaming down his cheeks.

When he was settled in the pod, he took a deep breath. They would be better off without him.

"Goodbye Red, I hope you get your cub back"

An angry hiss echoed in the castle halls.

'What do you mean, why do you say goodbye?'

Lance didn't answer and hit the button, that sends the pod out in space. He flew as fast he could, as long away from the castle as possible, at least for now. Red would alarm them, or maybe not. Red had never liked him, and she would get her Keith back, so maybe she was happy.

*In the morning with the other paladins

"Hunk, this smells delicious," Matt said when he and Pidge walked into the kitchen. "Thanks, Matt, it's filled with protein, specially made for Lance," Hunk said with a smile. "Where is Lance anyway?" Pidge said, laying her head on the table. "He must be training" Hunk answered, still focusing on his cooking.

"How can he be so focused in the morning" Pidge growled, she looked more asleep than awake. "Come on, Katie. Not everyone is like you in the morning" Matt said and sat down beside Pidge. "Yeah I know, but Lance used to be worse than me," Pidge said sleepily. Matt looked confused at her, and when over at Hunk. "Yeah that's true, Lance hates getting up early," Hunk said, humming a melody. "Well unless he has nightmares, or just stayed up all or most of night when he would be so excited to leave bed" Hunk said, turning towards the Holt siblings. "Wait, what did you say?" Matt said, looking terrified. "Unless he has nightmares or… Shit" Hunk's confused expression changed fast to a horrifying one. "You don't think he…" Hunk trailed off. "That or he almost never sleeps, maybe even both," Matt said. "What could be so bad, that Lance hadn't said anything about it?" Hunk said unsurely. Pidge sat up fast, suddenly looking really awake. "We have to go see him" she sounded scared. "Yeah, I agree," Hunk said turning the oven off.

They ran, as fast as they could, up to the training deck. They looked in, but to their surprise, it was empty.

"Where the quiznak can that idiot be" Pidge yelled frustrated. She stamped in the ground and cursed under her breath. "Relax Katie, maybe he just slept in and is in his room," Matt said calmly. Hunk nodded. "If not maybe he is in Red's hangar, he used to be in Blue's a lot" Hunk added. "Red's hangar is closes, so we should look first in the hangar, If he's not there, we look in his room," Pidge said.

"Maybe we should tell Allura or Shiro," Matt said. "We tell them when we find Lance and get some answers," Pidge said and started heading toward Red's hangar.

xXx

"LANCE" their voices echoed in the empty room. "I don't think he's here" Hunk stated. Where could he be, Lance normally told him everything.

"Hey, is it… eh, normal for the lions to look… Sad?" Matt asked, pointing at Red. She was curled up in one of the corners. Red did indeed look sad. "I don't think so," Hunk said insecurely. Pidge walked over to the big lion and laid a hand on her nose.

"What's wrong, girl?" Pidge asked with a soft voice. A sad purr was the answer they got. Pidge looked at Hunk and Matt. "Did you understand what she said" They both shook their heads. "One more time, please," Pidge said with a pleading voice. Red repeated herself. Pidge still didn't get anything out of it, other than the sadness. "I got something, one word not the whole sentence. She said something with Lance" Hunk said with concern. "You only heard Lance, nothing more?" Matt asked urgently, but Hunk only shook his head. They looked at each other a tick and started running towards Lance's room.

xXx

"Guys. GUYS" They stopped running. Shiro was the one to yell at them. "WHAT" Pidge snapped. Red had said something about Lance, she was sad, ergo something must have happened to Lance.

Shiro looked taken back by the harsh tone. "I just wanted to know why you were running, has something happened?" Shiro looked both concerned and curious. "We don't know, maybe," Hunk said fast. "What is that suppose to mean," Shiro asked looking confused.

"We have a theory about Lance either not sleeping or at least not sleeping a lot or having nightmares. So we ran up to the training deck, but he wasn't there. So we ran down to Red's hangar, it was empty. But Red was acting weird, she was curled up in a corner looking sad. We asked what was wrong, she purred sadly, we couldn't understand. After she repeated herself, Hunk got 'Lance' out of it. So now we are running to his room. Something must be off, why else would Red say something with Lance in a sad tone" Matt said fast. "We're wasting time," Pidge said angrily. "We should really hurry," Shiro said and started running with the others.

When they arrived at the door to Lance's room, the note was the first thing they noticed. "W-what does it say," Hunk asked, he hoped with all his heart it said, Lance was out shopping for something in spacemall. Pidge was the first one to read, and tears started running down her cheeks. "It-it s-says g-g-goodbye" Pidge hiccuped out. "What?" Shiro busted out, taking the note. He read it again and again. Tears could be seen in his eyes. "Shitshitshitshitshitshit" Shiro's cursing took everyone back, no one had ever heard him curse. A few tears started falling down his cheeks, as he continued whispering shit.

Hunk couldn't take it anymore, he pulled the note out of Shiro's hand and started to read it. Matt who stood hugging Pidge moved closer to read it too.

Hunk stood in shock. Lance must have felt really bad for it to come to this. How had he missed it, he was his best friend for quiznaks sake. "I must be the worst friend in the entire universe" Hunk cried out and started rambling about all the things he could have done to prevent this.

"Wait for a tick," Matt said loud. Everyone shut up and looked at him. "Let's first explain the situation to Allura and Coran, maybe even Keith, and when we will find a solution" Matt said with a sorrowful voice. "Why would we tell Keith," Pidge asked between two sniffs. "He's apart of your space family, and he is the only other person that can fly Red," Matt said, looking pained by saying that they had to replace Lance. "Nope, no way, we are not going to replace Lance, we must find him" Hunk snapped. "It's only until we find him, there is no one who can replace Lance," Matt said with tears in his eyes. He hadn't really talked to Lance, but he knew how much Katie loved him, in fact, the whole team loved him. Lance was the reason they were like family, they had to find him.

xXx

"Why did you call us here," Allura asked, with a nodding Coran behind her. Shiro shifted, he didn't know how to tell the Alteans that Lance had disappeared, only leaving a note saying he was sorry. "Shiro, what is going on," Allura asked irritated. She had been woken up by the loud sound of the speakers, and Shiro that said it was very important she and Coran came to the bridge.

"Lance is gone, we don't know where, all we have is this note," Pidge said, starting to cry again as she gave the note to Allura. In utter shock from seeing Pidge cry, Allura just took the note and read it. Allura dropped to note, after reading it, and slammed both her hands over her mouth. Tears started to flow down over her Altean marks. "No" She whispered behind her hands.

Coran bowed down to take the note up but froze. After a few ticks, he stiffly picked up the note. "Is… is it," Coran swallowed "Is it true" He finally got stammered out. Hunk just looked down at the ground, tears quiet forming in his eyes, so Shiro answered. "Y-yeah" Shiro's voice broke, and he looked like he was fighting back the tears in his eyes.

"O-okay, what is the plan," Coran said, choking back a sob. "I proposed that we tell Keith," Matt said. He stood beside Hunk and hugged Pidge. "He should know, not only because we might need him to fly Red, but because he is a part of our family" Matt's voice broke when he said, family.

Allura had got control over her voice again. "I-I suggest that we tell Kolivan, and ask him to send Keith to the castle without telling him. That way we can tell him personally, and he can help the search for L-Lan… I can't say his name" The last part was more like a sob than talking, but everyone still understood. "Everyone who agrees, lift a hand," Shiro said, and everyone lifted a hand.

*With Keith

Keith walked down the dark halls, that made the base for the blades of Marmora. Quiznak, he missed the bright halls in the castle of lions. Keith turned and walked into his room. His room was filled with stuff, which was very different from his old room. All the stuff was something the other paladins had given him while he was with the blades, it was their reminder to him, that he was family.

Most of the things were from Lance. Keith and Lance had become much better friends after the whole lion swap. Lance was also the one Keith talked the most to, even though he hadn't heard from him in over 2 months. Keith was a little worried but had figured that Lance was just really busy, being a paladin and all. Keith looked around in his room, most of the stuff was socks (Lance and his knitting), but there were space recipes and weird technology things. Keith had just laid down in his bed, ready to take a nap before the next mission when someone knocked on the door to his room.

Keith opened the door, and to his surprise it was Kolivan. "Er… Good day," Keith said looking Kolivan in the eyes. "Keith, the castle of lion has asked for you to come immediately" Kolivan's normally emotionless expression, had something else to it, but Keith couldn't really decrypt what it was. "Really? I will pack a bag, I should be ready in under 20 doboshes" Keith said exited. He hurried back into the room and forgot all about Kolivan's weird expression. He changed into his earth clothes and packed the blades suit. He also packed his tryout for space chocolate chip cookies and the gifts he had for the Voltron team.

xXx

Keith stood on the bridge packed and ready to go, nothing more than 12 doboshes after his conversation with Kolivan. "The coordinates are already typed in, you just have to get inside the ship" Kolivan said ice cold.

"Roger that," Keith said with a big smile, he couldn't wait to see his family. Some of the other blade members came to say goodbye to Keith and wished he would have a good time. He thanked them and made his way to the ship waiting for him. Kolivan followed him, to make sure he made it out safely. "How long shall I stay with Voltron?" Keith asked curiously. "It's up to you and Voltron, they didn't really tell me anything," Kolivan said with a stern expression. "Now get into the ship, they said immaterially" Kolivan said while almost pushing Keith into the ship.

Keith had been sitting in the ship in almost a varga, and he had a little over a varga left until he arrived at the castle of lions. It was boring to fly alone, of course, the music helped (He could thank Pidge for that), but it was still not the same. So Keith tried to get the time to pass faster and ended up thinking about why Voltron needed him, IMMEDIATELY (Keith chuckled to himself, as he yelled the word in an Allura impression voice). It didn't really sound like they needed help with a battle, if that had been the case, they would have asked for more blade members, not only him. They could, of course, be that they just wanted to see him, but that didn't have to happen IMMEDIATELY (Keith chuckled again). Keith used the next 30 doboshes to think about why they would need him.

He thought about a lot of ridicules thing but came to only a few who would make sense. One of them was that it was someone's birthday, or that they hold a birthday party for someone. Therefore Keith checked the earth date (again possible because of Pidge), It was the 31st of July. Keith slowly checked through everyone's birthday, or at least the ones he knew. His own birthday was the 23rd of October, so there were still a long time to his birthday. Hunk's birthday is the 13th of January, so definitely not him. Shiro's birthday is the 29th of February, so not him either. Pidge's birthday is the 3rd of April, he remembered celebrating her. That left Lance. It took a tick before Keith remembered, Lance's birthday was the 28th of July, that was 3 days ago. "That must be the reason why they had asked me to come" Keith said to himself.

Keith smile got bigger then he saw the castle. He opened the radio, trying to get in contact with the castle. "Princess Allura of Altea here, identify yourself" Allura's voice was firm. "Keith here, I'm ready to board," Keith said with a smile on his lips. "Keith! Perfect. The hangar is open" Allura's voice was happy, but it had an edge to it. Keith didn't really think too hard about it, he just couldn't wait to see his family.

Keith's landing was a good one, he was pretty proud of it, so when he got out of the ship, he was smiling all over his face. But as soon as he saw the Alteans and paladins faces, his smile faded. "I guess this isn't a birthday party for Lance," Keith said, and his face turned serious. The others grim facial expressions turned confused. "What do you mean by 'Lance's birthday party'" Shiro asked concerned. Keith frowned. "You know, Lance's birthday, the 28th, 3 days ago" Keith glared at them in confusion, when their expression again changed now to a terrified one. "Didn't Lance tell you… quiznak, please say you guys didn't forget it" Keith's voice was angry, how could people who acted like a family, forget someone's birthday?

That was the moment Keith realized someone was missing. "Where is Lance," Keith said in a tone, who was hard to tell which emotion it held.

"He left… he left a note" Pidge said almost choking on a sob. She handed the note over to Keith, who snapped it out of her hands. As he read it, his expression turned softer. He looked up, with tears in his eyes. "What the fuck happened"

xXx

After the team filled Keith in on the little they knew, they all walked to the bridge.

"So L-Lan-c didn't take a lion, so he must have taken an escape pod," Pidge said, trying her best to focus on facts. "I should be able to track it" She looked at the screen in front of her, typing in some codes.

"Quiznak, I'm blocked from the escape pod" Pidge yelled out in frustration. Everyone looked at her in shock. "I must have heard that wrong, what did you say" Hunk said still in shock. "That son of a bitch has used MY no-tracking-plus-map USB stick program," Pidge said angrily. "Your no-tracking what?" Shiro said confused "no-tracking-plus-map USB stick program, NTPM-program for short" Pidge corrected. "How does he even know, how to get it" Shiro asked still confused. "Remember that time for 4 months ago, when we had to sneak out those very important prisoners? We didn't want to get tracked using a map, so I programmed the NTPM-program. I explained briefly how to download it and then gave you one copy. That copy was destroyed with the ship after we landed" Pidge said fast. "The only way he could get it was downloading it down, and that is one of the hardest things to do on this ship, after flying the castle and change a crystal without help from the mice"

Pidge was really worked up, so Hunk just placed a hand on her shoulder and said. "Can you remember that time at the garrison, where you needed help with that computer program. I said I couldn't help, it was to complicated. You got really frustrated, so Lance just walked over to you to help. You turned him down saying, if I couldn't help, he would definitely not be able to. He just shook his head and pushed you aside. It took him like 10 doboshes to type something, then he was done, everything worked perfectly"

"How did you do that" Pidge said looking between Lance and the computer. Lance laughed and turned around. "I will go get some chips," he said and walked out of the door. "Hunk did you know he could do that?" Pidge said turning to Hunk. Hunk, on the other hand, looked like he had seen a ghost. "That really did happen," He said with a shocked expression. "It really did," Pidge said, looking at the computer and the perfect working program.

"That idiot never told me how he did it," Pidge said with a humph. "Anyway, there is no way I can track him because he didn't bring his helmet or paladin suit, and my program is bulletproof," Pidge said with a sigh. Everyone looked concerned at each other, how were they going to find their missing paladin now?

"Maybe we should check his room, it could give hints about where he could be heading," Coran said and tried to smile. "That is a really great idea," Allura said with a thankful smile.

"Do you think it's locked?" Matt asked when they stood in front of Lance's door. "I have absolutely no idea, but nothing can go wrong trying to open it, right," Shiro said, looking at the door like it was a dragon. It took a second for him to move, but he eventually slowly pushed the button to open the door. The door said a swush as it opened.

The room was dark and seemed unfriendly. Hunk didn't like that, so he turned the lights on. With more light in the room, they could start their search for any form for hints about where Lance could have gone, and why he had left them.

On the bed were the blue paladin suit and red bayard. Only the clothes Lance had had on from earth, was missing from the closet. Two pictures were missing, one of Lance and his family back on earth, and one of everyone of team Voltron that had been taken right before Samuel Holt left to go back on earth. Lance's knitting kit was also missing, and a towel.

Out on the bathroom, Pidge noticed the first aid kit was empty, that, of course, made her concerned. If Lance had taken the whole kit, that wouldn't have made her concerned. So she checked the dumpster, which was filled with bloody bandages and cleaning wipes. Pidge's gasp was so loud, that the others all came running over to her. "Did you find something important" Keith asked, with a hopeful look in his eyes. Pidge nodded. "I found something important, but I don't think you're going to like it," Pidge said, opening the dumpster. The other paladins looked down, to see what Pidge had found.

"I will scan the blood on the bandages to see if it's Lance" Coran said, taking the dumpster and disappeared out of the door. "Why didn't he say something, he could have gotten a cryopod and would have been fine one day after. When did he even get injured, and how didn't we notice" Hunk said looking at the others, with a guild filled face. Pidge was silent, she was thinking.

"Could he… could he have lied" Pidge mumbled, it was loud enough for Allura to hear. The Altean had been very quiet, as they had searched in Lance's room, so Pidge almost jumped when she talked. "What do you mean by that?" Allura looked curiously at the green paladin. Pidge looked taken back, and her eyes shifted between Allura and the blue paladin suit.

"I… For around a month ago, when Lance and I boarded a galraship to get intel about some prisoners, he… eh… got shot. I was telling Shiro, that we were on our way out, a guard took advantage of my attention being somewhere else, the guard shot this huge gun, it looked a lot like Hunks, I didn't notice, Lance jumped in front of the blow. After he landed on the ground, he just headshot the guard like nothing had happened, and after that, he ran, with me, over to the lions. When we landed after completing the mission, I confronted him about it, he said nothing happened, and he was okay. The next day he fought a gladiator on level 50, in hand-to-hand combat, and won! I'm serious. Anyway, I just trusted him after he again said everything was fine, but… what if… what if he wasn't… I don't know…" Pidge stopped talking, she thought saw something, something under the paladin suit.

"Hey Allura what is that?" Pidge said walking closer to the suit, and pointed at the parish thing there was under the suit. "I… don't know," Allura said pushing the blue suit to the side so they could see what it was. It was letters, addressed to everyone on the team.

*With Lance

Lance didn't do well in silence, nor did he like being alone, but that had been his life for at least two months. Now, Lance was alone on a spaceship, in the middle of space, without knowing where to go. The only comfort he could find in this situation was that he no longer was a burden to the ones he loved.

Lance had thought about going home to Earth but had decided against it, he couldn't handle being a burden again. He just wished that he didn't have to be like this, a pathetic, useless, emotionally unstable goofball. If he just had been helpful for once, maybe… just maybe he hadn't had to leave. Yeah, Lance knew he had hurt his family, both of them, but it was for the best. They would forget about him, Voltron could get Keith as Red's paladin, or Allura could get Red, and they would find a new blue paladin. His family, back on earth, properly thought he was dead, which was better than what he was now.

If Lance kept flying the way he was going, he would react to an intergalactic traiting planet, where he could change his ship to a more discreet one, maybe even get something to eat. Lance would say it would take about a varga to arrive, so he said the ship on autopilot. Lance changed his bandage and ate a cookie.

The silence was killing him, so he slowly began talking to himself. "I'm sure you did the right thing, they will be happier, with time" "But what if they don't, and I just ended up hurting them more" Lance could feel tears sting behind his eyes. "Lance, listen to me, listen to you, you did your best, but it was clearly not enough, it would be better if they get Keith back. You saved a lot of planets, we saved a lot of lives, it was our time to step down, let Voltron become as great as it could" Lance's voice was trembling, he seriously hoped he did the right thing. "I'm going to miss saving people though" A sudden idea came to his mind. "Wait for a tick, I don't need to be a paladin to save people, I can still free prisoner. I can save people from smaller prisons, and leave big rescue missions to Voltron or the blades" Lance's really liked the idea, that way he could be useful to the universe, and he wouldn't annoy anyone.

xXx

Lance had fallen asleep, so when he landed, he jumped up from his chair. Lance took he bag and looked out of the window. The buildings around him were old, and there were people everywhere. As he got out of the ship, an alien approached him.

"Hey, how much for the ship?" The alien was purple with green spots, it had dark green eyes and a black mustache. "Another ship," Lance said looking at the alien. "What kind of other ship," The alien asked, looking superspecies at Lance. "A little ship, that won't stand out much. The ship itself shall have a bedroom too" Lance said with a smile. "Why do you want a new ship, is something wrong with yours" The alien looked at the Altean ship. "No, nothing wrong with it, it's just that my friends can track it, and I don't want to be found. Also, it doesn't have a bed" Lance said shooting his best smile to the alien. "Sounds fair. I think I have the perfect ship to offer you. Come this way" The alien started to drag Lance over to a house that looked awfully a lot like a parking lot.

xXx

"So what do you think?" The alien looked hopeful at him. "It pretty much perfect, I just need one thing from my old ship and when it's yours," Lance said giving the alien a handshake.

Lance set his USB stick into his new ship, he was ready to fly. The ship was dark blue on the outside, and grey-blue on the inside. It gave Lance some kind of home feeling. It was almost like flying Blue.

*Back on the castle

"Can I get everyone back on the bridge" Coran's voice was urgent, and it got Pidge and Allura out their momentarily shock. Lance had left them letters, he hadn't just left without saying goodbye. Pidge took the letters and started running with Allura and the others to the bridge.

"So I checked the blood, no doubt that it's Lance's, he is the only AB-negative on the ship" Coran said with a sorrowful expression. Everyone nodded, they hadn't expected anything else, but hearing it was confirmed, was hard.

"But I do have some good news, I got a hold on the missing pod. The pod's current position is on a planet called Mechu" Coran said, as he found a picture of Mechu. The planet was brown and not very big. It was not exactly galra, but it had galra patrols once a month. The brown planet didn't have a specific species but was inhabited by all kinds of aliens.

"I don't think Lance is with the ship anymore, but we might get some information" Coran was still busy getting the exact coordinates to the ship, so he didn't notice the first time Pidge said his name. "CORAN, for quiznaks sake" Pidge almost yelled. "Yeah, number five" Coran turned around and looked at Pidge. "Allura and I found something. Lance… He left letters, to us all" Pidge said and started handing out the letters.

"He… he made one to… me?" Matt looked at his letter, the letters were clearly making his name, but Matt still didn't understand. "Of course he did, you're a part of our Voltron family," Pidge said, punching her big brother on the shoulder. Matt couldn't swipe the big grin forming on his face away.

"Oh my god… oh, my god… I can't read this" Hunk said, dropping the letter. "Don't you want to hear what Lance have to say to you?" Allura asked confused. "No… Yes… not this way… I just… he's my best friend" Hunk choked out between sobs. Big tears were falling down his cheeks. "Hunk, don't cry. Think about this, maybe Lance left something that can lead us to him" Pidge said, hugging the big guy. "Yeah, you are right, Lance would also kill me if I didn't read it," Hunk said with a light chuckle.

"I don't think we should read alone, we have no idea what Lance could be writing," Shiro said, he looked around and got a lot of agreeing nodes. "I don't think we should read our letters out loud either with the same reason" Hunk said, he also got a lot of agreeing nodes. "We could sit in the relax area, that way if we need comfort we just ask for a hug, or if we need privacy we just sit in a corner," Allura said, again everyone nodded agreeing.

xXx

Coran's hands were shaking when he started to open the envelope. He had absolutely no idea what awaited him, all he knew was that he would diffidently cry.

Dear Coran,

I love you so much. You're my crazy space uncle, and no one can take that title from you.

I'm so grateful for you listening to me and laugh at almost all my jokes.

You made me feel at home, and you chased my homesickness away, even for just a moment.

I know you lost your planet, your family and all your friends, I just hope that our Voltron family can help on your lost a little.

Coran, I beg you to take care of Kaltenecker, I know you can do that for me.

About the lack of paladins, I'm sorry for putting you in this situation again, but I can't be a paladin anymore, the team, the universe, you all deserve better.

I really loved my time in the castle, but this is my time to go.

Coran, please keep everyone's moods up, I know it's a big job, but I hate seeing my family sad, por favor, do it for me.

One last thing, when you get back to earth, please take everyone in team Voltron (Yes that includes Matt and Keith) to my house (the address is in the envelope), when you get to my house, ask for Marianna McClain, say to her that you're her son's family, and he wanted her to meet you.

I'm going to miss you a lot.

Keep being the space uncle.

One last hug from your space nephew,

Lance.

As Coran finished reading the letter, tears fell down on the paper. Coran couldn't wrap his head around the letter, it was so beautiful, and knowing Lance thinking of him like family, was a big honor. The thing that made Coran the most honored and… happy was that Lance wanted, not only him but the whole team Voltron, to meet his family. Just the thought made Coran cry harder, he let his face fall down in the letter. He just couldn't stop crying, that beautiful boy had left because he didn't think he was worthy enough to be one the team, that they deserved better, what did they do to deserve a boy with such a big heart like him. Coran cried and cried like nothing else mattered.

Hunk laid down his letter and walked over to Coran. His own tears blurring his vision. Hunk pulled Coran into a big bear hug. "Happy or sad tears?" Hunk whispered questioning. "Both" Coran said with a surprisingly good control over his voice. They just sat holding each other for a few doboshes, trying to find comfort. "So… How was your letter" Hunk asked, when Coran stopped sobbing. "it was amazing… he… he wants us to meet his family" Coran said looking at Hunk. Hunk smiled warmly, he remembered the first time he had met Lance family.

Hunk was almost 9 when he met Lance for the first time. Hunk had changed school because of bullying, so of course, he was nervous when he stood in front of the new class. Hunk stood half behind the teacher, he tried to hide for the curious glares his new classmates gave him. The teacher was a woman in the mid-forties, she seemed nice. Hunk took deep breaths, he didn't want to freak out on his first day, but everything was so new. "Hunk, your seat will be next to Lance" The teacher pointed at a boy far behind in the classroom. The boy had light brown skin, brown hair, and a wide smile on his lips. Hunk relaxed a little, the boy seemed friendly. He slowly made his way down to the back, to the table where this 'Lance' was sitting. Lance scooted his things away from Hunks side of the table and made a gesture that invited Hunk to take his place. "Lance, you will also show the school to Hunk, and make sure he feels okay," The teacher said when Hunk had taken his seat. As soon as Lance nodded, she started the lesson. The teacher, which name was Mrs. Evergreen, talk about multiplication when Hunk got nudged on the shoulder by Lance. "What?!" Hunk mimed irritated, he tried to learn. Lance just pointed at a note, on the table. Hunk leaned over to read the note. 'Hi Hunk, I'm Lance McClain. Do you want to eat lunch together today, just so you're not alone?' Hunk looked at the boy next to him, Lance smiled. This boy, Lance, was the nicest 8-year-old Hunk had ever met. Just that simple action, asking if he wanted to eat together so he wasn't alone, meant the world to Hunk. He took out his pencil, and wrote three letters, in Lance's words. 'YES'. When Lance read it his face brighten up, he looked so happy.

"That's all for this lesson. Go fetch your lunch bags" Mrs. Evergreen said. The classroom was filled with noises, students talk and chairs scraping over the floor. "Hey buddy, I need to use the bathroom. Can you take my lunch bag, and we'll meet in the cafeteria" Lance looked sorry about leaving Hunk. "Yeah, it's cool. I will just follow the others" Hunk said with a smile, he couldn't really blame Lance for going to the bathroom. Lance gave Hunk an apologizing smile and left the room. Hunk started to follow his other classmates, toward the cafeteria. Hunk found an empty table and placed his and Lance's lunch bags on it.

"Hey… Was Hunk it? No wonder you're so fat, when you eat two lunches" Hunk stiffened before turned around, where saw a boy with black hair and an evil smirk on his lips, behind him stood 4 boys, all with crossed arms and judgemental looks. These boys meant trouble.

"Yeah, I'm Hunk. Sorry to disappoint you, but one of these lunch bags don't belong to me. And I didn't catch your name?" Hunk said, forcing himself to smile. "Oh, fatty got an attitude," The black haired boy said, looking back, grinning, to his followers. "You want to know my name, fatty? Let that be the only wish of yours, that will ever come true. My name is Freddy" Freddy's evil smile got bigger.

"Anyway, since you have two, mind if I borrow your lunch?" Freddy reaches out grabbing Hunk's lunch bag. Hunk stood up, looking Freddy in the eyes. "I do mind, you can't just take people-" One of the guys behind Freddy, pushed Hunk hard into the table so he fell into it and down on the floor. Hunk grunted in pain and sat up on the floor. Tears formed in his eyes, why did this always happen to him. The boys started to laugh. "Look at how pathetic fatty looks down there," Freddy said evilly. But as he and his gang turned around, a voice cut through the noises in the cafeteria.

"Hey, Freddy! Bullying the new guy? That's low, dude, real low" Hunk turned as he recognized the voice of his savior. Lance was standing not far away from the table, his smile had a different vibe than before. How should he explain it? Before Lance's smile was filled with joy and happiness, now, it had an edge, an edge of anger.

"Uh, should I be scared? Lance the hero is here to save the new kid, I'm shivering in my pants" Freddy laughs. "Oh, how funny, but I'm actually here to get my friend's lunch back, you shouldn't know where it is? Oh right there, in your hand, you were on your way to give it to him, I see" Lance said walking closer to Freddy.

"Why don't you just give it to me, I will return it to my friend" Lance's voice was stern and his eyes could kill. He reaches his arm out toward Freddy. "You really think I'm going to give it back?" Freddy chuckled out. "Oh, I don't think, I know you're going to give it back" Now Lance was under 1 feet away from Freddy. Freddy was at least a head higher than Lance and much more muscular, and all his 4 bodyguards were even bigger.

"L-Lance you don't have to-" Hunk didn't get to finish his sentence before Lance intruded him. "Did he say anything rude to you, or did he call you any nicknames" Lance was still looking at Freddy, not even turning to Hunk, as he spoke to him. "Yeah… he called me… he called me fatty" Hunk's voice was nothing more than a whisper, but Lance heard it. He started to shiver in anger.

"You son of a bitch, You called him fatty, what the hell dude. Not only, did you steal his food, and push him onto a table. NO! You also make fun of his appearances. Yeah let's all make fun of the new guy, he properly doesn't mind. Is that what you think. Tu horrible ser humano, perteneces al infierno" Lance spat out in Freddy's face. "And what are you going to do about it?" Freddy said with a confident smile. Lance punch Freddy in the face, the impact was so hard that it sends Freddy to the ground. "That," Lance said, looking down at Freddy.

"Get him" Freddy yelled, holding his cheek. The 4 big boy's attacked Lance at once, and as soon Freddy got up on his legs again, he joined in.

When the fight was over, Lance had a black eye, a bloody hands, a most likely sprained wrist and that was not counting all the scratches on his legs, arms and face. But he had won the fight, or at least the others retreated Lance picked up Hunk's, kind of trashed, lunch bag. "Sorry 'bout your lunch," Lance said, looking at the very crusted sandwiches. "You can have mine," Lance said and pushed over two sandwiches to Hunk.

"What are you talking about, you legit fought for me, no one has ever done that for me. We share, deal?" Hunk said pushing one of the sandwiches over to Lance. Lance took the sandwich with a bright smile. "Deal," Lance said taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Lance! What happened to you?" Mrs. Evergreen stopped Lance, and Hunk, to enter the classroom. "Sorry, Mrs. Evergreen, I fell really unlucky on the stairs. I had forgotten to tie my shoes and tripped. I tried to block the fall with my hand, but ended up giving myself a black eye" Lance said, rubbing his neck with his good hand. "For god's sake, Lance be more careful. Take a friend with you, down to the nurse's office" Mrs. Evergreen sighed and waved them away.

"I can't believe you sprained your wrist for my sake, you're like the best friend I've ever had," Hunk said excitedly as they left school. "Hey Hunk, do you want to come with me home, I really want my family to meet my best friend," Lance said looking at Hunk with sparkly eyes. "B-best friend? You see me as your best friend" Hunk said starting to tear up. "Yeah, of course, best friends forever," Lance said, opening his hands to a hug, and Hunk almost tripped Lance with the force he hugged him. "Best friends forever," Hunk said with a smile.

"Hola mama, I'm home" Lance yelled as he opened the door. Marianna McClain came out of the kitchen with a big smile on her face. "Hola mijo," She said with a warm tone, but when she saw her son she gasped. "Qué te ha pasado?" She asked concerned. "It's okay mama, I was in a fight today, Freddy and his gang were bullying Hunk, I just threw myself into battle," Lance said trying to comfort his mom. For the first time, Marianna looked at Hunk. "Oh, hola, you must be Hunk," She said with a smile and shook Hunk's hand. "Yeah, ma'am, I'm Lance's best friend," Hunk said proudly. Lance's mom smiled kindly. "I'm glad my son has found such a polite friend" Hunk smiled at the compliment. "Hijo, when your papa comes home, dinner is served. So go wash your hands" Marianna said with a smile. "Mama is my siblings home," Lance asked as he walked by the kitchen, with Hunk right behind him. "Marco is taking a nap, Luis has a playdate with one of his friends from kindergarten, Veronica is home, she is in her room, and Rachel should be home soon, your father is picking her up from a friend" Lance mom said, checking on the food.

"Hey Lance, how old are your siblings?" Hunk asked as they washed their hands. "Marco is 2 years old. Luis is 5 years old. Rachel is 7 years old, and Veronica is 12. I'm the second oldest" Lance said proudly, drying his hands.

Hunk had the best time of his life, Lance's family was so nice. Hunk met Lance's grandparents, both sides. Hunk also met some of Lance's uncle's and aunt's, plus their children. Hunk swore that day that Lance McClain would be his best friend forever and ever.

"Lance… did that… for you" Coran said with a small smile. "Yeah… Lance has always been like that, you know, self-sacrificing or standing up for people, even strangers" Hunk said, looking Coran in the eyes. "Just one thing that annoys me, why did Lance not tell the truth to the teacher?" Coran said. "That bugged me too, so I asked him. He just said 'It's not like they're actually evil'. I mean who can't love that guy, he got beaten up, and still just played it off as an accident. "Yeah that boy is something," Coran said sadly. "Coran, I better get back to read… to read my letter. Are you going to be fine?" Hunk said concerned. "Yeah lad, I'm good," Coran said, curling his mustache. Coran stood up, leaving Hunk alone, and walked over to comfort Pidge, that was shaking heavily, despite that her brother was there hugging her.

xXx

Hunk folded his letter out again, he hadn't started to read it yet, and he didn't know if he could. But he needed to if Lance had left anything important, or even just a goodbye, Hunk needed to see it. He took a deep breath and started to read.

Dear Hunk,

Quiznak, I don't think I have ever been this formal to you.

Hunk, buddy, my man, you're my best quiznaking friend.

I love you more than the ocean and your food, yes, I'm serious.

Because you're my best friend, you deserve the truth, you can tell the others, they should know too.

Well, here we go. As you know, if you have checked my room, I have a wound, Pidge properly told you how it happened, so that has been kind of hard to get through. I have also been having nightmares, and voices that tell me that I'm not good enough. The special training didn't really help on either of those things, properly made it worse. I haven't slept more than 1-2 hours for at least a month, actually more. I have forgotten to eat most days. I don't joke anymore, because you said shut up on a mission. I don't go to the lab, contribute to the meetings. And even with all of this I know it's not yours or any of the teams fault.

I'm so sorry.

I just couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't be a burden for you guys anymore.

But Hunk, I need you to do something for me.

You have to make garlic knots for the team, you know my favourite food, I want them to taste it.

I know you can do it!

Hunk, keep making delicious food, I would hate for the team to starve.

One last thing, Hunk, I'm going to miss you so so much and I love you like family.

Last bear hug from your best friend,

Lance.

Hunk broke down, he hadn't noticed any of this. His best friend had suffered so much and hadn't said anything. In his hands was his last link to the best person in the entire universe, his best friend.

xXx

Matt had seated himself beside Pidge, not because he wanted to read her letter, but because he knew she was going to cry. Her eyes were already blank, and she hadn't even opened the letter. He wrapped his arm around her. Matt opened his envelope, ready to read Lance's words to him.

Dear Matt,

I know we haven't talked much, but I'll miss you a lot.

You properly wonder, why I didn't talk much to you.

It's very simple, really.

I wanted to give Pidge time to be with her long-lost brother, and I didn't want to be in the way for your relationship.

I know how much she missed you, I heard her cry over losing you and her dad, I saw the smile she had when she introduced you to us.

Every time she talked about you, she had a smile on her lips.

She was like a little sister, and I love her so much.

I know this will hurt her and my whole 'space family', but it's the best thing to do, they deserve better, they don't deserve me.

That got dark fast, well my life has been dark for some time, so I guess it makes sense.

Do not come to the dark side, they only have dry cake!

Okay, Matt, this is important, I need you to look out for team Voltron, especially Pidge.

You're properly the one who is going to be the least saddest, no offence.

You're a Holt, the toughest family in the universe (yes, I found on that title, don't ague).

Anyway, this is my goodbye.

Goodbye Matt, I hope you can feel the hug I'm giving you,

Lance.

"Shit" Matt didn't curse often, but when he did, he did it as quiet as possible. As he looked over his letter again, he felt Pidge shake beside him. Lance was right he wouldn't be as sad as the others, so his task should be keeping an eye out for the others. Matt leaned over and hugged Pidge tight. She hadn't even started to read the letter, just looking at her name on the envelope.

When Matt hugged her, she tried to control her breathing. She had to read it, if she didn't, some important info could get lost. Pidge took a deep breath and started to read.

Dear Pidge,

This is hard, writing goodbyes, just never leave, that's the lesson.

So I guess you have some question, or not.

Maybe you guys tried tracking my ship, or not, or are on your way to, doesn't matter.

I have downloaded your NTPM-program, I know you said it's hard and whatever, but you explained how to, so I just did what you said.

I started to read Hunk's science books two years before you came to the garrison, and when you became our teammate I started to read your books too.

I guess that's why I understand your techno stuff, that, and the fact I have IQ on 166 which makes me a genius…

Now to some more serious things, I know you remember the attack on the galra ship, you know where I got shot.

You asked if I was hurt, I didn't answer truthfully, I was hurt.

It got worse, I didn't just have a bleeding wound, but it started to get infected, and quiznak it hurt, especially when I got thrown into a wall (happened a lot to the special training).

Why is it your letter turned out this dark, crap.

Okay, okay, I got an idea to cheer you up, remember that song I was humming at your birthday party, it's called 'space unicorns', and it's really awesome, hear it while you do some tech stuff.

Pidge, you are like a little sister to me, I love you so much.

That's why I need you to understand something, I didn't leave you behind, I didn't leave Voltron behind, I did what is best for the team, I let myself go.

I know it's hard now, but with time you will realize the same, that the team is and will forever be better off without me.

Bye Pidge, one last hug from your space big brother,

Lancylance.

PS. Everything I have told you is allowed others to read, so is the other letters, I kind of forgot to write it in the other letters, I think.

Pidge couldn't keep it together anymore, she broke down in her brother's arms. Lance hadn't been well in a long time, and no one noticed. They were the worst fucking family in the world and all Pidge could do was cry.

xXx

Allura looked at her name, it was written in a beautiful handwriting.

Dear Allura,

I'm sorry you have to lose more family members, and that is now my fault.

Allura don't hide your sadness from the team, you don't have to hide, not for your family.

Ironic of me saying that I'm currently physical hiding for you, and has for a lot of my life hidden for my family and friends mentally.

I really wish this could have been different, maybe if I had told you about it, or someone had confronted me, but that's not how reality is.

I had to leave, and Voltron had to live their lives without me.

I think Hunk was happy, that I started to act normal again.

I haven't been joking and goofball alike since I was 10, since my dad died.

If you want to know about it, ask Hunk, on one condition, everyone have to hear it.

Quiznak, I'm going to miss you, you all, my family, friends, everyone.

Oh the mouses, please take care of them, tell them I love them too.

Allura, this is properly the most important thing, it's about Blue.

I love Blue so much, that it hurts, I just want to give her a hug, but… she won't let me in, I think it's because she knows, if she let me in, she can't let go.

Blue is the most amazing lion in existents, she is kind, caring and beautiful.

I love her, and I, god flipping damn it, miss her.

I miss her purring in my mind, the calm aura around her, her hugs, I miss every single thing about her.

I'm glad that you were the one taking over her when I left.

I don't think I could have been able to take it, if it had been a stranger, piloting her, you know.

Just promise me you will take care of her, please, she will be heartbroken when she finds out.

I love you just as much as my sisters at home, please take care of yourself and my Blue.

This is my last hug and goodbye to you,

Lance.

Allura didn't cry at first, she was so touched. Lance and Blue's relationship, was amazing, and she felt terrible for coming in between their bond. Hot tears formed in her eyes. The boy had felt bad for so long, and that fact just broke her heart. Allura could feel Blue cry, the blue lion was indeed heartbroken.

xXx

Shiro, looked out at everyone, ready to read his letter, or that was at least what he thought.

Dear Shiro,

Shiro, I'm sorry, but I'm tired, so very tired.

I can't do this anymore, I hope you understand, I beg you to understand.

It was properly the special training program that pushed me of the edge, but please don't blame yourself, nothing is your fault.

I know you have PTSD, so I don't blame you for being stressed and not noticing it.

Shiro, I still love you, as you were my family and nothing will change that.

I need you to lead the team, like the leader you are.

I also need you to keep the team together, I need you to save the universe and free it.

Shiro, get Keith to be the red paladin, Red want him to be, the team wants him to be, I want him to be.

Please, just talk to him, okay.

Anyway, Shiro, I have something that might help on your PTSD, Imagine a box. The four sides represent the four parts of box breathing.

You breathe in for a count of 4.

You hold your breath for a count of 4.

You exhale for a count of 4.

And you hold for a count of 4.

I hope it helps you, or something, hehe.

Shiro, it's time for the goodbye, I don't want to say goodbye, I don't want to leave, but it's for the best.

Goodbye Shiro, I hope you find closure,

Lance.

Shiro couldn't stop crying, Lance didn't blame him. Shiro had blamed himself, and hearing Lance say that it was the training that tipped him of, made everything so much worse. And Shiro couldn't handle it but kept reading. Lance really didn't blame him, and the fact made Shiro feel better. Knowing Lance thought so highly about him, was the thing that gave tears in Shiro's eyes. And even more, that Lance didn't want to leave, but he thought it was for the best, made Shiro's heart break. Shiro just lets it all out, and he just cried.

When Shiro's tears stopped, he looked around again. Almost everyone cried, and they there either hugging another person or hugging themselves. Keith was still looking at the envelope with a blank expression. As Shiro moved closer to Keith, he slowly started to open it.

"Are you ready?" Shiro asked laying a comforting arm around him. Keith nodded and started the read.

Dear Keith,

Do me a favor, cut your hair, your mullet looks ridiculous, just kidding, the mullet has grown on me, and if you cut it, I wouldn't have anything to make fun of.

But seriously, I'm going to miss making fun of you, and our rivalry.

About our rivalry, I'm sorry, I know I wasn't close to your level.

I made up our rivalry, to fool myself, to feel like I was better than I actually was, stupid, huh.

I'm sorry it had to be you, after a year of being constantly compared to you, I guess it just tricked something inside me like I wanted to show I was just as good or better than you, even though I knew, I wasn't.

I can never be as good as you, I tried though, I tried so had to just be on a decent level, but I kept being worse.

I'm sorry I couldn't be better, if I had become better, this wouldn't have happened, I'm so very sorry for all the mistakes I made.

I'm glad we became kind of friends or something, even though I was still a jerk.

I wish I could have been a better friend, maybe I wouldn't have been so annoying and obnoxious if I hadn't come up with our rivalry, so I'm sorry about that.

Shit, I don't like writing goodbyes, there is nothing good about it, I have to say goodbye, but this will make everyone sad.

Take a look around you, all tears and emotions are my faults, I don't know how bad it is, but I saw them after saying goodbye to you, I have a feeling it's like that or worse.

I wish they could see it was for the best, I was only a placeholder, first as the blue paladin, when the red paladin.

About the 'oh no, now Voltron are missing a paladin again' situation, I think you should be Red's paladin.

Don't come with 'The blades of Marmora needs me', because the universe needs you more as a Voltron paladin than a blade member.

If you need more reasons, Red is picky and properly only wants you, and I don't want a stranger flying her.

Keith, the team needs you too, they will be… sad, and they will be needing a hotheaded, grumpy, half purple spacecat.

I'm only going to say this once, so listen, they need a good second-in-command and you are a really REALLY good second-in-command.

I know you don't like leading, but you come up with good ideas, you train hard, Shiro listens to you, you have really good instincts and follow your gut.

I need you to be there, to protect my family, our family, and support them.

I know it's a lot to ask, but they really need you, I don't know what else to say to convince you.

Keith, the voices, they told me you would be better, and you are better, you are so much better, I know this, if you just had let me step back, it had changed everything, but I understand.

It's time for you to come home, your family needs you.

I love you, Keith, take care.

One hug, one goodbye hug,

Lance

*With Lance

"I just have to relax, If I remember right, this should be a galraship with prisoners," Lance said loud to himself as he looked at the spaceship in front of him. He flew his own ship, undetected, closer. Lance had for some time ago memorized a galraship's layout, because it was really practical in battle, so he remembered an emergency exit (or in his case, easy way in). There were guards, but not as many as there should've been. So it was really easy enough for Lance top overrun them, and getting a gun.

Lance ran quietly down the purple halls, down to the prison cells. Lance opened the door with a cut off druid arm. The door opened easily and revealed around 10 aliens of same species. "Our saviour!" the prisoners quietly cheered. "Hey, I'm Lance McClain, a rebel fighter against the galra empire. Let's get you all home" Lance said with a smile and started to get the prisoners out.

Lance had just gotten all the prisoners on an escape pod, when he heard a cruel voice. "Isn't that a paladin of Voltron"

A/N: Okay, so Keith's reaction to his letter comes in next chapter. I will talk more about the story in the next chapter. OMG 7th seasons trailer, Shiro being gay, I just can't wait. See ya in the next chapter. Remember to favourite, follow and review