Dear Ladybug,

It's been a while, I know. Please forgive me for not contacting you sooner. I've been… Let's just say I've been preoccupied with some personal matters. Yes, I'm perfectly aware that after keeping quiet for so long this sounds like a lame excuse, but you have to take my word for that, bug. I'm in a good place now, much better than in a few months and I finally gathered the courage to write to you.

I hope this letter finds you in good health.

Haha, forgive my little joke, Bugaboo, but I've always wanted to use that line. And of course I hope your health is as stellar as usual, if not even better. Mine is okay, I guess. I feel… That's actually it - I can finally feel. It's a great thing to feel. You know that saying "It never rains but it pours"? It sums pretty well my life in the past few months. Some serious family complications occurred at the same time as our final encounter with Hawkmoth and Mayura. You could say I got distracted. I'm so sorry I couldn't let you know sooner that I'm okay.

My friends have been keeping me an eye on me. If it wasn't for them I don't know how I would have survived all those troubles. They don't know I'm Chat of course. I promised myself long time ago that you'd be the first to know and that plan hasn't changed. But I desperately needed my friends. I'm so grateful for them.

Now that I think of it, I should have let you know sooner, that I'm all right. After I got hit things got kind of blurred. I don't remember detransforming, but I was found among other injured civilians. My friends took care of me. They assumed I had been caught up in the fight. So many people had that day. One of my close friends got badly hurt actually. For her and her family those last months were a nightmare. She is still in coma and even though all the major injuries have healed, she just won't wake up. I hope she makes it.

It's an awful thought, Bugaboo, when I visit her - and I try every chance I have - to think that somehow the black cat got lucky enough to escape that fate, while she's still sleeping. So please don't worry about this stray. It took some time too, but he landed on his feet.

But what's up with you, my Lady? Did you get some well deserved akumaless rest in those last months? That at least has been a little ray of sunshine. People can get on with their lives without the constant threat of interruptions.

I've been thinking a lot about you, wondering what you might be up to these days. I haven't seen you transformed since that final battle when you walked out from the debris. I actually saw that only on TV. I even have it recorded somewhere. The proof of life, as I call it. The balm to my soul - the knowledge you've made it.

You know already I don't transform anymore. It's going to be first time for me tonight - long enough only to seal this letter with my ring so that you'd know it's me and to carry it to our spot. My kwami used the word "trauma" a few times, but I think it's too much. I'm just not ready, you know? I'm not sure when I will be. Too many things happened in a very short time, not only miraculous related. I'm kind of still digesting. I don't feel like Chat Noir yet. I'm still waiting to get back to myself and this letter is one of the tiny little steps I've been taking in this direction.

I guess that's it for now. Maybe I'll write more soon, Bugaboo. I hope you like reading! I'd end with "hugs and kisses" but it somehow feels awkward. So I'm just going to write "Until next time, my friend."

Chat Noir

Author's Note: This was supposed to be my story connected for Ladynoir July. Life had other ideas. I didn't have time and concentration to write, but I wanted to post at least Chapter 1 before July ends. I will definitely continue, although I can't really predict when.

I hope you enjoy it! As I never made it in July I won't be fitting this fic to any prompts, but the story is already plotted out.

Please, let me know, what you think of this chapter. I appreciate your reviews greatly!

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