Author's note: The qixi festival is the chinese equivalent of valentine's day, the mythology behind it is quite poetic and I might write a one shot about it someday

…...

After all the stress of such a complicated day Shifu's torment still wasn't over. Just as he had finished making the specifications for a very large slingshot he was interrupted from his quiet time by none other than Mr ping and Li Shan. Without bothering to ask for a hearing, they simply strolled inside the palace and demanded an explanation over the insane rumors about Po and Tigress' unorthodox wedding.

Master Shifu couldn't believe his ears -"How could you find out about the wedding already? I told Zeng to keep his beak shut!"-

-"He always comes to my shop to vent whenever he has a bad day"- Mr Ping said smugly

-"And if our son is gonna get married we should be the first to know, it's our right."- Li shan said angry -"instead we had to find out through gossip!"-

They did have a point, as Po's fathers they had the right to be notified as soon as he found out, instead of trying to keep the secret in order to avoid the shame.

-"You're right, but you might also understand why it's so important that nobody else knows about this. I trust you won't say anything until we can find the best course of action to fix this whole mess."-

When he saw the goose and the panda look away with a sheepish expression, dread crawled inside the old master. -"You haven't told anybody yet, haven't you?"-

-"Well I haven't, but goose dad over here kept screaming loudly about the "good news" to everyone in his shop"- Li Shan said pointing accusingly at his co parent, placing his other paw at the side of his face as if he was telling a secret.

Shifu groaned and broke his new woden staff yet again, at this rate in a few days there wouldn't be enough ironwood in the forest to build yet another one. No longer caring about keeping composure, he growled in frustration. But after a few calming breaths and many meditation techniques he managed to regain some semblance of civility. There was nothing he could do anymore, besides it's not like the marriage could be annulled if Oogway was right.

-"Look I'm as shocked about this as you are, but we need to find a way to salvage a little bit of decorum so the honor of the doyo isn't tarnished so badly"-

-"Oh nonsense, we need to make the most out of it!"- Mr Ping said in a cheerful mood, then he splayed several scrolls on the floor that he had carried with him, they were diagrams for the construction of a small store. Centuries from now, company salesmen would speak in the same tone with Powerpoint presentations behind them - "Now about Tigress' dowry, I think it would be enough for the rights to make a franchise in the Jade palace. On the top of the stairs right at the entrance of the palace we'll have our second store, it will call the attention and therefore it will be our biggest advertiser, but since the bottom would be more accessible for those who can't climb the thousand steps we should put a food cart there. Of course my noodle shop would have the exclusivity for the catering in any mayor event, like the winter festival by example. I also think we should advertise Po and Tigress like a power couple, we could sell cherry blossom cakes with their names for the Qixi festival!- After laying his business plan he showed them a painted billboard with the newlyweds posing in a threatening manner surrounded with pink hearts

The thought of seeing the honorable Jade palace invaded by a tacky food franchise was more than Shifu could bear, there wouldn't be much need of a dowry if Tigress became a widow shortly after her return.

-"Well as Po's other dad I don't approve any of this. Isn't there a way we can make them like, not married anymore?- He didn't hide his anger when saying this. He had tried in vain to pair his son to any of the young, pretty and single panda girls in the village to no avail. Yet even when the ladies were more than interested in flirting with such a strong healthy male, he often avoided them in order to practice kung fu with his friends. Now he knows why.

-"I wish it was that simple"- Shifu grumbled

-"Why would you do that? Aren't you glad he finally fell in love?"- The goose scolded his fellow dad -"You don't object for Tigress to be your daughter in law, don't you?"-

-"Yes I do, I don't approve the he marries her"- He said pouting like a surly child.

-"And why is that?"- Shifu said not hiding the threatening tone in his voice, he wasn't happy about the wedding either but didn't take kindly that someone dissed his daughter

Li shan wasn't the brightest of the trio but even he could see what Shifu was thinking, so lifting his paws in the air defensively he said -"I didn't mean it like that. Tigress is a great person and if she were a panda I would be happy for them, but she is not, and that means they can't have cubs. In case you haven't noticed there aren't many of us anymore, we need more babies if we want to save our species"-

The older master laughed -"I wouldn't worry about that, your son found the way to get her pregnant"-

-"WHAT?!"- Both fathers said in unison

-"Oh yes I don't know how they did it and frankly, I would never like to know, but she is pregnant already. If I hadn't learned it from higher sources I wouldn't believe it myself"- The old master said slouching, he wished he hadn't broken his staff just a few minutes ago for he now needed the extra support.

After that huge piece of news, a moment of tense silence took the room. It was literally the calm before the storm, for once the silence passed there was a lot of screaming. The panda and the goose happily shouted in unison -"We're gonna be grandpas!"-

and then a particular small chaos erupted as the parents began to giggle exited and talking about preparations.

-"What are you doing?"- Said Shifu exasperated as both fathers rushed out of the palace, quickly going down the thousand steps.

-"I'm going to make something to eat for the time they come back, Po is always hungry after returning from his missions and if Tigress is expecting his cubs she's gonna be hungry as well"- Mr Ping said exited, he was so happy for the news he had even forgotten about his business plan.

-"Good thinking dad, she needs to be healthy."- Li Shan told his co parent with a mixture of glee and anxiety, then he turned back and told Shifu -"I'm gonna get some bamboo for building a crib and once I come back I'm baby proofing the whole palace, that thing is filled with sharp objects it wouldn't be safe for a cub!"-

Heading inside the red panda had a disturbing view of the future. He saw the hall of heroes and all their armor either dismantled or wrapped in cotton so no youngling could get hurt, Po's annoying fathers settled inside the palace to spend time with their grandchild and most terrifying of all, a tiny infant version of Po breaking havoc and destroying any notion of peace and quiet.

Maybe there was a silver lining to all of this, if it wasn't for the other master's shenanigans none of this would have happened, so a very appropriate punishment would be to assign them as the official nannies of that little bundle of doom.

As for Po, well his future was uncertain but it probably included a few brutal training sessions at best and a large trip to the outer space via slingshot at worst

…...

The next morning Tigress woke up from her short nap. Last night they had been walking for a very long time, until the night grew colder and Po begun to groan and complain from the exhaustion so she decided to let him rest for a few hours below a tree while she made a modest bunfire.

Her plan was to let him sleep for a while while she stayed on guard, it would give her some quiet time to ponder on her (questionable) life choices and figure a course of action for when she came back home. Annulling the marriage was out of the window since they had shared way more than their vows on their honeymoon and now their lives were literally intertwined. Truth be told and as much as she hated to admit it, she didn't feel that much aversion by the idea of being with Po anymore but that didn't mean she was ready to be his wife just yet. It was still scary to commit with someone else for life, when she chose to form a family she thought she would meet the one and therefore things would be easy, as if love worked like in fairytales and just meeting your other half was enough to guarantee a happy ending. No one could blame her for such naive thoughts, is not like her upbringing and pathway in life could ever teach her properly about romance.

She figured that there could be a middle ground, they could stay married but not tell anyone about it, at least not until Master Shifu could get used to the idea so he doesn't kill them both. Tigress wasn't known for feeling fear but the thought of her master finding out what she did was terrifying.

Maybe they could arrange for a proper courtship and even have a second wedding, one without debauchery, booze or, heavens forbid her, a public display of their mating in front of pervs. Satisfied with her new plan she begun to feel tired as well, the forest was deserted and they had chosen a very secluded spot, there wouldn't be much harm if she rested her sore eyes a little bit.

Now she regrets her decision, not because she fell asleep but because neither her nor Po had stayed asleep for long, it's just that the night was so cold and his fur was so warm. All she wanted was to sleep next to him so his larger frame could block the wind and well, she got curious and he's gregarious. Turns out that black and white satyr has much more stamina for love than for combat training and of the five hours they stayed on that tree they only slept for two.

And she can't even blame the alcohol for this one.

She had the feeling that once she let loose of all her repressed emotions, even while drunk, she could never put them back in their cage, making her take one irresponsible choice after the other. Part of her wants to turn back the clock and go back to the time things made sense, when she was a hardcore master and that was enough for her, and Po was just her silly friend that got in trouble and on her nerves. But life changes and she wasn't satisfied with who she was anymore, even if that dumb panda hadn't hijacked her entire existence in one crazy night.

-"Morning kitten"- he said groggily from below her with a dopey smile

-"You know I hate to be called like that"- She growled while punching him hard on the arm

-"Hey you gave me permission to do it! You said I could call you kitten if you could call me bouncy ball. It's in our prenup see?"- Awkwardly fumbling through his discarded pants he found a piece of paper in one of its hidden pockets, then gave it to his wife.

-"I can't believe this!"- She said outraged while reading the document -"You specified that I have to play with you and your dolls at least twice a week?! And what is this about a private show every sunday?"-

-"Well I really like the way you sing and how you look when wearing pretty dresses, so I thought it would be nice to have you sing just for me."- She said with a shy expression, slouching just a little.

Glaring daggers at him she was about to tear that ridiculous paper through shreds until he told her -"Look you put things in there too, just turn it around that's your part"-

Reading the other side of the document she found some very interesting things, he had agreed to shut up for at least two hours a day at any time of her choosing, also he committed himself to clean up his mess after training under penalty of losing his marital rights for an entire week. Huh, maybe the private embarrassment of following his rules could be a small price to pay considering the benefits

Not really wanting to ponder on this for now she ordered him to get up so they could go after the thieving guards, they had lost too much time already, the prenup would stay in one piece for now but hidden in her pockets.

It was lucky that they found their targets on a small village, the thieves had chosen to stay there for a while before going further south towards the capital in Bianjing. Once there, they were planning to sell the relics in the big city and afterwards they could easily hide themselves on such a large crowd.

And it was in the nick of time, for the kung fu masters caught them just as they were leaving the town, they were right at the entrance carrying huge heavy bags that almost screamed "We carry stolen goods". At the mere sight of the masters the criminals dropped the bags and ran away, running on all fours Tigress was fast enough to place herself right in front of them blocking their exit, they tried to go back but by then Po was already behind them and ready for a fight. Since scaping wasn't possible, the corrupted guards took a fighting stance, two against two were decent odds.

Tigress was the first to attack. She threw several short yet powerful slaps at her opponent, then as the guard tried to kick her she easily blocked the attack pushing his leg outwards with force and now seizing an opening she placed her other feet towards him to get the proper balance, then with her free paw slapped him hard on the throat. After that blow her opponent was coughing and wheezing on the floor, unable to move.

Po giggled while his enemy's punches bounced off him, his body fat protected him from trauma but his skin was ticklish and sensitive. He settled with diverting his enemy's blows and landing a few of his own, until his opponent threw a high kick, once his leg was raised Po took the opportunity to practice a move monkey had taught him and caught the rising foot in the air with his large paw. With a powerful hold of his enemy the panda threw a strong kick aimed at the knee of the other leg, the one that was firmly placed on the ground, sadly he was too clumsy and miscalculated the dirección of the blow so he ended kicking the poor guy's family jewels instead. The guard fell to the ground with a sharp scream of pain, it was so loud and high in pitch even Tigress came to see what the fuss was all about.

She saw the guard crying his eyes out while curling into a ball -"Po you know a low blow like that is forbidden!"-

-"Yeah that is too cruel dude"- Said the other guard still wheezing from Tigress' last blow

-"Sorry! I didn't mean to do that I was aiming for your knee!"- Po said embarrassed as he helped his fallen opponent up.

Now defeated the guards didn't resist as they masters tied them up, they didn't want another beat up especially if they were willing to hit below the belt.

The newlyweds then begun their journey towards the north heading towards Gongmen city, where they would deliver the thieves to the authorities. Halfway towards their destination they were greeted by the other masters.

-"Guys we looked all over for you!"- Crane said panting from carrying the masters all the way towards Gongmen, only to find out at their destination that Po and Tigress had already left by the time they got there, so the poor avian had to carry his fellow masters several more miles than originally planned.

-"What is it guys?"- Po said worried, if the masters were searching for him instead of guarding the valley of peace then something was wrong -"Is the palace under attack or something? Is it the valley in danger?"-

-"You're the one in danger Po! Shifu knows about your wedding"- Mantis hollered

-"That's impossible! we just married the other night how could he had known so soon?"- Tigress said quickly entering a state of panic, the fur on the back of her neck stood on end and she quickly discarded all her previous plans, deciding instead to find a suitable location to run away and hide for the rest of her life.

-"You got wasted and made a crazy spectacle of yourselves, the whole town got wrecked, of course everyone would find out"- Crane said annoyed. He was tired, cranky and a little too worried about his own issues to care about the drama of those two lovebirds. He was worried that their shenanigans might cause so much damage to the palace's reputation that Viper's father might form a bad opinion on him, making it very hard for the avian to court his girlfriend.

-"Shifu will kill me!"- Tigress voice had raised so much in pitch it didn't even sound like her own, her small ears flattened behind her head and even her whiskers dropped a little. Her husband found the sight of the scared tiger unusual but he couldn't help thinking she looked cute, so he scooted closer to her and tried to give his wife a big hug for comfort.

-"Eh not you really, Po is the one Shifu marked for death, sorry buddy"- Monkey said almost apologetically.

-"Why? What did I do?"-

-"Aside from eloping with Tigress?"- Crane raised an eyebrow sarcastically

-"We fell in love and then we got married, there's nothing wrong with that"- Po defended himself

-"Dude there is a mating manual called the Panda Sutra, written by the guys that saw the show you put on your wedding night and everyone in Gongmen has a copy of it by now"- Mantis of course had to give such an embarrassing statement loudly enough to be heard all over China

-"And you destroyed the market with your party, it got so out of hand that hasn't even been cleaned up yet"- Viper told them softly

-"Oh yeah, I forgot about that"- Po said slouching a little with a sheepish grin

-"That's it, I'm not going back!"- Tigress said panicking, the embarrassment was too much to bear she couldn't handle it.

Preparing herself for a very difficult conversation Viper slithered close the her friend -"It's not your fault, you weren't responsible for all the things you did that night"-

-"What do you mean?"- She said turning from panicked to suspicious and then angry when noticing the guilt in the reptile's eyes -"What did you do?"-

Looking at Monkey and Mantis, who were aware of the hellstorm that awaited them, the brave snake begun to confess on their meddling with the catnip cookies. Not knowing if any of them would be in one piece after she finished her tale.