IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED SEASON 6 OF VOLTRON GO NO FURTHER. MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD*
I just started to get into the Voltron Fandom, and I love it here. It's awesome. I literally binge watched the entire series a week before Season 6 got released, and HOLY CRAP IT WAS AMAZING.
But before I got into the thick of it all, even I noticed that Lance's character seemed...dull, from a story point of view. There have been brief glimpse where we get to see what seems to be hiding behind that grin and charm, but not nearly enough to satisfy me. (Which is why I cannot WAIT for Season 7. PLEASE GIVE ME MORE LANCE.)
And then after Season 6, I just had to do SOMETHING. Like, he literally DIED and all that was there was a reassurance from Allura and then...nothing.
I get that everyone else had things they needed to focus on, but there was NOTHING to show that anyone else even knew what exactly happened.
Well, not for long, I can tell you that. And, from that train of thought, this was born. Sorry if anybody seems out of character, it's my first time writing them and I'm gonna try my best!
Also, this can either be seen as platonic Klance or the beginning of a more romantic relationship. Whichever you prefer! :)
"We're going home."
Those words still rang true in his head as they passed yet another planet. This one looked a bit like Saturn, with rings circling the orange tinted globe. There were two sets of rings, and the parts where they overlapped was a blurry mix of debris and asteroids.
Lance leaned father back into his seat, a sigh escaping his lips.
He was going home. Finally, he'll be able to see his mamá. He could already feel the phantom touches of her bone crushing hugs, the way the rest of his family would join in as soon as it was instigated.
A smile brushed his lips, the thoughts of home bringing a peace to Lance's mind that was almost foreign now.
One didn't have much time for peace between being a Paladin of Voltron, saving planets from the tyranny of the Galra, and making sure the Castle of Lions is in top condition.
His smile fades as he thinks about his home away from home, now just a blue diamond inside the Yellow Lion. It was a necessary sacrifice in order to close the rifts and seal Lotor inside the realm of quintessence, but that doesn't mean the hurt had gone away. It has only been about a quintant since they started their journey back to Earth, after all.
But, if anything positive could be derived out of losing the Castle, it was that they got Shiro back. The real Shiro.
He really was happy that Shiro was back. It didn't feel like a complete team without him, even if he may never pilot the Black Lion again. But Lance couldn't help that little seed of guilt and remorse in his gut.
If he had just listened closer. Shiro had tried to reach out to him, tried to get Lance to help him. Explain what was going on. If only he had taken it more seriously, not brushed it off like the Not-Shiro told him to. Maybe then Shiro would have been saved sooner.
There's a gentle pressure at the base of his skull, and Lance feels a giant purr course through his entire being. His smile is small, but it's there as he gently pat's console in front of him.
"It's alright. Nothing to get worked up over. I'm fine." he could feel Red's reluctance, but she eventually ceases her purring.
Kaltenecker made a soft keening noise next to him, putting her head into his shoulder. Whether it was just by accident or if the cow somehow knew he wasn't feeling all that well, Lance didn't entirely know, but he wanted to believe it was the latter.
"Don't worry, Kaltenecker. We'll be back on Earth in no time, and then you can go graze on some real grass, how's that sound?" Kaltenecker mooed lowly, and continued to stare out the window into open space.
Lance rubbed her head and then went back to his thoughts about his family once again.
He couldn't wait to see their reactions when he pulled up in a giant, red lion. His little siblings, nieces and nephews jumping up and down in glee, excitedly pointing up to the sky when he decends. His older siblings will have tears in their eyes as he steps out, but his Mamá will be the first one to embrace him.
They'll all push him inside the house he grew up in, the familiar stains and smells all washing over him with a wave of nostalgia. His Mamá will make his return into a full blown fiesta, with mountains of food and hugs and love and warmth.
He couldn't wait until they finally got back. Unfortunately for them, it takes time to cross the Galaxy, and they were going to have to make stops for food, sleep, and other necessary supplies.
And, as he heard his comm's crackle to life, it seems like now would be one of those times.
"Paladin's," Allura's voice came, "Coran has located a suitable planet to restock out supplies for the journey. It's name is Abegon, and if Coran is correct-" Lance heard Coran's light assurance in the background ("When am I ever wrong, Princess!"), before Allura continued, "-then the planet is indeed inhabited, but the lifeforms are of a peaceful nature. As long as we do not disturb them too much, then we shall be off within a quintant of landing."
"Alright, send us the coordinates." Keith said, and soon enough coordinates popped up on Red's star map.
Lance brought up a hologram of the planet, Abegon. It was a smaller planet, about the size of Mars, but that's where the similarities ended. The surface was tinted purple, with what looked like small, pink lakes scattered throughout. The clouds were a deep red, with three moons-one smaller than the other two-orbitting the planet.
Any other day, Lance would have been happy to land and explore what the planet had to offer, taking their time getting to know the locals and organic life. But now he wanted to go straight past and continue on the way home.
Sure enough, Abegon soon came into their view, and all of them were entering the planets atmosphere. Allura landed first, followed by Pidge, Keith, Hunk, and then Lance.
Their landing spot was on a beach of some sort. The Lions landed on a light purple sand bar, with the pink waters lapping at the shores. And they were already gaining the attention of the locals.
What appeared to be fishermen were previously out on the lake, but as soon as they saw the fabelled Lion's of Voltron, they came rushing to shore.
Lance was the first one out of Red, sending a beaming smile to the fishermen through his helmet.
They looked humanoid in shape, with red scales covering their exposed skin and small, pink tufts of hair coming out of the points of their ears. They had no facial hair what so ever-not even eyebrows-and it seemed as if the only eye color the species possessed was a deep, forest green with a slitted pupil.
The three fishermen approached cautiously, eyes wary despite the tales they had heard of Voltron. Lance's smile widened in what he hoped was a friendly way, hands now on his hips.
"Hey there, Abegonian's! Name's Lance, also known as the Red Paladin, even though I'm wearing blue." he could feel Allura's presence by his right side, and he casually put his arm over her shoulder. "And this beautiful lady is Princess Allura, also known as the Blue Paladin, even though she's wearing pink."
Lance frowned in thought, then snapped his fingers. "I think it might be time for a wardrobe change! I mean, Keith wears red, but is the Black Paladin. Seriously, the only one still in their colors are Hunk and Pidge, people are bound to get confused." he took a glance at Allura, who he could see rolled her eyes at his chatter.
"Greetings, as said I am Princess Allura of Altea." Lance frowned when she didn't comment on his thoughts, and he could faintly hear Pidge and Hunk trying to contain their snickers behind him. Traitors.
"We have heard of your grace." the largest Abegonian stated, bowing his head in respect, which the other two followed. "But what is the occasion that we might be blessed with your presence on our humble planet?"
"We're on a long journey." Keith answered from Lance's other side. The teen briefly entertained the thought of throwing his other arm around him, but he didn't really want to deal with a broken wrist at the moment. "We need to stock supplies and get some rest. Will you allow us to say?"
"Well, it is not our decision. But we will gladly escort you to our queen, Marlek. But I do not doubt she will allow you all to stay, for as long as needed."
Allura clasped her hands in front of her, and gave the Abegonian's a pleased smile. "That would be wonderful."
The tallest one gave a short nod, reflecting Allura's kind smile. "Very well. We will lead you back to the Capital City. It is not far."
"Excellent." Allura said, then made to help the locals with their fishing supplies, along with Keith.
Lance stood their for a moment longer, not entirely sure what to do, until he shrugged and went over to Hunk and Pidge, who were giggling along with Romelle. Krolia stood off to the side, a blank look on her face as she twirled her knife.
'Emo brooding must run in the family' Lance thought, giving Keith's mother a wide berth. She still kinda freaked him out.
"So you ate this 'Pasta'? It does not sound very appetizing." Romelle stated, and Lance found himself wondering just what kind of conversation he walked into.
Hunk laughed, wiping a tear from his eye. "Oh, yeah, you bet I ate it! It might not sound good, but that shrimp pasta was to die for!" he exclaimed. He noticed Lance hovering along side Pidge, and his smile brightened. "Hey, you remember that one time I ate that entire box of bowtie pasta straight from the box, right?"
Lance gave a short laugh at the memory. It was at one of their many sleepovers before the Garrison, and one of Lance's older brothers dared him to eat the whole box without cooking it. Hunk did so without hesitation, proudly earning the ten dollars.
"You bet I do! You probably drank an entire gallon of water afterwards!" beside him, Pidge raised an amused eyebrow.
"Wait, you ate an entire box of noodles uncooked?" Hunk's smile grew impossibly wider. Romelle looked very confused, but was trying her best to follow the conversation.
"Yep! It wasn't all bad, just really dry." the Yellow Paladin stated. Lance saw Romelle open her mouth, most likely to ask another question about what pasta was, but Allura interupted.
"Paladin's." she announced, gaining all of their attention. "I will be accompanying them to the Capital City, and will be gone for at least three varga. Feel free to entertain yourselves." one glance at Pidge's mischevious grin had her amending what she said. "As long as it is in some way productive. And, please, do not try and destroy anything too badly."
Pidge's grin fell, and Lance could hear her murmering under her breath. He only smirked and nudged her shoulder, earning him a glare. His smirk only grew at it.
"Don't worry, Princess. I already know what we're going to be doing, which is training." Keith announced, followed by groans from the other Paladin's. He shook his head, and shot them all a soft glare. "Just because we're going home doesn't mean we can slack off. We still have a job to do."
"Well, obviously." Lance snarked, and he could already feel Keith's irritation, much to his own delight. "But we literally just defeated a giant robot pumped full of quintessence, not to mention we lost the Castle. Can't we rest first, you humanoid robot?"
Keith gave him an exasperated look, sighing.
"War doesn't rest, Lance. All of us need to be in our best shape, just in case we run into something unexpected."
"Which is always." Pidge grumbled, with Hunk muttering his agreement. But Lance wasn't done, yet.
"Yeah, I get we need to be in shape and all, on our A-Game, or whatever. But once again, we just came back from saving all universes. Everywhere." Lance brought his hands out to exaggerate the point, and he could hear the internal rage Keith was trying to school. Lance loved that reaction.
"I get it. You're all tired, so am I. That didn't stop us when we were on the Castle, why's it any different now? So suck it up, Lance, and be back on this beach in 5 minutes for training." with that the Black Paladin stormed off, climbing back into his Lion.
Lance huffed and crossed his arms, his left hip jutting out. "Whatever you say, oh fearless mullet brain." he mumbled, but nevertheless went back into Red to grab his bayard.
Kaltenecker grunted at him as he reached past her head, grabbing the object. He gave her one last smile and an affectionate head rub, which to his delight she leaned into, before heading back out again.
The only people left outside were Romelle and Krolia, who seemed to be having an awkward conversation if Krolia's pinched face was anything to go by. Romelle, however, seemed to be oblivious, as she had a grin on her face as she talked with the Galran.
It was a bit odd, actually. To see an Altean talking so casually with another Galran, without the tension he always saw with Allura. Even when talking with Kolivan and the Blade's she seemed on edge, even though all of them knew the Blade's of Marmora could be trusted.
Lance turned away from them and made his way farther out onto the beach, where their training wouldn't damage anything. Hopefully.
Now that Lance could properly take in the sight before him, he felt a bit awestruck. He faced towards the lake, the sand warm even through his boots, and water lapping at the shores in soothing motions, just like back in Cuba.
It looked like the sun was just beginning to set, casting a red glow over the entire landscape.
By now, Lance had been to many planets, and had seen things he had never thought possible. He definitely had favourites, for sure, but this scene before him...it skyrocketed near the top of the list.
He was so mesmerized by the landscape that he failed to hear the footsteps approaching him from behind.
"So you complain about training, but are the first one out here?" Keith's patronizing voice made him jump, and if anyone ever accused him of letting out a squel he would deny it within an inch of his life.
Lance whipped around, light blush on his cheeks, retort already on the tip of his tongue. He opened his mouth, but then snapped it shut as he saw Shiro standing next to Keith, looking much more rested than when he last saw him.
Granted, he still doesn't look great. He still looks much older than he should, with dark bags under his eyes. Shiro's posture is hunched, and he looks bone tired. Lance is suprised he's even able to stand.
Keith's space wolf was also there, standing almost protectively next to Shiro, but Lance could only gape at the man.
All the guilt he felt when he last saw him whole comes back full force, his stomach tying into knots and tongue glued to the roof of his mouth. He knows that he must look really weird about now, but he can only focus on his churning stomach.
Shiro smiles lightly at Lance, only making the knots tighten. "Hey, Lance. Good to see you."
Only after a few ticks does Lance realize he hasn't replied back, and he quickly tries to unlock his words.
"H-hey, Shiro. Good-good to see you, too." he says, in a much softer voice than he wanted. At the two Paladin's slightly concerned looks, he managed to push down the guilt and try for one of his easygoing smiles. It feels more like a grimace, but it makes the two in front of him relax a bit more. "Gotta say, I'm liking the white hair. Not the best style, but it works pretty good for you, Space Dad."
At the nickname Shiro's smile widens, but he still rolls his eyes. Keith cracks a small grin, and glances at Shiro in amusement.
"And here I thought I had finally escaped that name." Shiro muttered, but it puts him at ease.
Lance still feels the residue from the guilt he feels, but he'll deal with it later, in the privacy of Red. Just like he used to do at the Castle, where he would go in his room or take sanctuary in Blue. It wouldn't be right to burden the rest of the team with his troubles. They all had enough to worry about.
The last thing Lance wanted to do was be even more useless than he already is.
Even so, it still hurts a little that the rest of the Paladin's can so easily dismiss him. It's almost like a rule; if Lance is smiling, nothing is wrong-if he's not, something is.
That's exactly why Lance always tries his best to smile, even on days where it feels like everything is falling apart. If he's smiling, no one will worry, and they won't have to deal with him any more than they have to.
Lately, however, the smiles have been getting harder to make. When he's actually happy there is no problem, but Lance hasn't felt genuine joy for a while. Sure, there were sparce moments where he felt a small spark, but the flame he usually feels has been absent.
So no matter how relieved it makes him feel to see Shiro and Keith dismissing his brief slip-up, it still hurts. Maybe even more than Lance himself knows.
But Lance still smiles. "You will never be able to escape it, not as long as I'm around." he made tiny finger guns, and Shiro shakes his head in amusement.
"Hey! Shiro!" Pidge exclaims, jogging over to them. She stops when she is on Lance's right side, her face holding a beaming smile that makes his more genuine. "Great to see you, dude!"
"Um, maybe it isn't such a good idea for Shiro to be out here?" Hunk says hesitantly from the side, slowly coming to a stop beside Pidge. Shiro gives him a look, and he hurridely continues. "I mean, he did just get sucked out of a giant space lion into a cloned body. That's gotta put a strain on anybody, even if they're as awesome as Shiro."
"He won't be training with us, just watching." Keith interjecting before Shiro could speak. Hunk visibly deflated a little.
"Oh, well, in that case, are we gonna get started or what?" The Yellow Paladin seemed a bit jittery, but everyone wrote it off as being cooped up in Yellow for too long. All of them needed this time to stretch their legs, no matter how much they moaned and groaned.
"Right. Since we don't have the Gladiator anymore, we'll break into groups. Hunk and Pidge, you'll spar. Lance, you're with me. Whoever pins the other wins, and the winners will face off."
Pidge's face lit up even more at the prospect of a competition. "Oh, you are all going down."
Lance scoffed, and lightly punched her shoulder. "Yeah right, Pidgeon. First, I'm gonna beat mullet into the ground, and then your next." Pidge barked out a laugh, and Hunk was amused as well.
"Sure, Lance. All of us know Keith's going to win this, and I can't wait to see your face when your on the ground bawling your eyes out." Hunk let out a snort to Pidge's remark. Lance's wilted a bit, but still kept the playful air.
"C'mon Pidge, you don't have any faith in me?" he asked, in a mocking hurt expression. Pidge rolled her eyes.
"Nope, none at all." she replies in the most serious voice she can muster. Keith sighs, shaking his head with a hand on his face, while Shiro chuckles with amusement.
"Can we just-get to training? Please?" Keith pleads, and with one last, playful glare to each other, the two sets of teams seperated.
Shiro sat down on the sand, Keith's space wolf sitting next to him, always keeping one eye on Keith as he moved away.
Lance pouted a bit. He loved Kaltenecker, but why couldn't he have a badass space wolf that wanted to protect him? Keith always got the cool stuff.
Lance stopped and faced his opponent, getting into a ready position with his fists raised and legs bent. Keith did the same, as it was always customary in their sparring sessions to start with hand-to-hand, then bring out their baywards later.
Then, as if both of them heard some invisible signal to start, Lance and Keith lunged at each other.
Lance made the first punch, going for Keith's stomach. Keith dodged left, countering the miss with a roundhouse kick. Lance ducked, and as Keith's foot passed he straightened and kicked his own foot out, aiming for his stomach once again.
Keith's eyes widened, but the hit didn't connect. At the last second he lunged away, rolling on the ground into a crouched position.
Lance faintly heard Pidge and Hunk's spar a fair distance behind him, but his focus was solely on the Paladin in front of him. Keith gave him an appraising look, and Lance greedily sucked it in, a warmth spreading through out his chest.
He knew his hand-to-hand was sub-par at best, especially going against someone like Keith, a naturally gifted fighter topped off with Paladin and Blade of Marmora training.
Keith giving him praise, even if it wasn't verbal, was all Lance could hope for.
The Black Paladin stood back up, summoning his Bayard. The sword appeared, and Keith got down in a ready position, waiting for Lance.
He quickly summoned his own Bayard, the gun held comfortably in his hands. He briefly wondered if he could summon his own sword again, if only to see all of their dumbstruck reactions, but decided that he would quickly be taken down in a sword fight.
With a battle cry Keith lunged forward, swinging his sword in front of him. Lance aimed and fired off two shots, both of which the Black Paladin deflected with his sword.
Keith was too close now. He was at a disadvantage, with only a brief second to react as Keith's brought his sword back for a strike. Breath hitching Lance brought up his left forearm, activating his shield. The sword bounced off, but Keith swung back.
This continued for a while, Lance deflecting strikes with either his shield or gun, while Keith continued to advance. Lance's breathing was getting heavier, and he only felt a brief pang of jealousy when he saw Keith barely looked winded, even though they had to have been sparring for well over ten minutes now.
Lance heard Pidge and Hunk's cheering over the blood rushing through his ears, their fight having already ended.
Keith struck with an especially hard blow, and Lance grunted as they were in a stalemate, Keith's sword stuck inbetween his shield and gun. He gratefully took the small respite to try and gain some of his breath back, but it didn't last long.
Keith swiftly disintegrated his Bayard, dropping down and sweeping Lance's legs out from under him before he even knew what was happening. He hit the sand, breath knocked out of him. But as he looked up, he saw Keith coming for him once again, sword drawn. His eyes widened and he rolled out of the way and back on his feet.
His breath hitched when he saw the sword coming towards his stomach. Instinctually he sucked in his stomach and leaned back. By doing so he lost his footing and balance, and Keith moved in once more. He rammed his shoulder into Lance's stomach, collapsing on top of him.
Keith didn't let up on the hit, either. He used his full force to push Lance to the ground, making Lance lose the breath he had just gained back.
He heard Hunk's groan and Pidge's cheer as he looked up at Keith, who was straddling his stomach with the tip of his sword to Lance's neck. Lance's own Bayard was now deactivated, sitting a couple feet away from his right hand. He didn't remember, but he must have dropped it from the hit.
Lance wheezed out another breath and glared at the smug face of Keith hovering above him.
"I win." he stated, still not faking his sword away. Lance huffed, his cheeks turning pink with shame and embarrassment from the blunt statement.
"Wh-whatever." he wheezed. He squeezed his eyes shut, going limp under the body pinning him to the sand. "Just get that sword away from me. Allura's not here, she can't revive me again if you 'accidently' kill your rival, y'know."
It was meant to be a joke, one of his typical wisecracks. But when he heard Shiro's sharp intake of breath, the body stiffening above him, and the way Pidge and Hunk went silent, he knew something must have gotten lost in translation.
He cracked his left eye opened, and started a bit at Keith's horrified expression. He immediately deactivated his Bayard, but he didn't move.
"Again?" he whispered, voice only audible to Lance. He, in turn, only raised an eyebrow and propped himself up on his elbows.
"Um, yeah? You guys...didn't know? I thought everyone knew." he glanced at the others, all pale and staring at Lance in mortification.
"Of course we didn't know!" Pidge suddenly burst out, stomping up to Lance and Keith. The Black Paladin finally got off of Lance at Pidges approach. Lance sat up and faced the red faced Pidge, but didn't attempt to stand yet.
It was a shock for him as well. He thought everyone knew what had happened, and they just brushed it off as a stroke of luck that he wasn't dead forever. Lance didn't know that they had no idea what happened.
"What is wrong with you!?" she screamed, jabbing a finger into Lance's shoulder harshly. "The fact that you died isn't something you keep to yourself! What were you even...when did...Gah!" she threw her hands into the air.
Lance shoulders shrunk at her anger filled words. He honestly didn't see it as that big of a deal. Sure, it wasn't a pleasant experience, and it only drove the point home that they could really die out here, but he didn't stay dead. Allura was there, she helped him come back. Everything turned out okay. It was only for a few seconds.
After everything was said and done, he had been down that no one seemed to care about his short death. He at least expected one of Hunk's bone crushing hugs when they saw each other in person again.
But when the mission was over, there was no mention of it at all. Everything kept moving smoothly in the Castle. Lance started to question himself during that time, but quickly pushed down all of his insecurities from the incident. If no one was going to bring it up, then he figured it didn't matter.
That he didn't matter. That he was expendable. And, honestly, he had come to terms with that. Lance had always been the fifth wheel, and now he was the seventh wheel that no one needed.
As long as Lance kept smiling and made sure his space family were safe and happy, he could live with that title.
Now that he knew the team had no idea he had had a brief visit with death, his mind started to evaluate everything again. And his mind was a bit swamped. He didn't even notice Hunk racing up to him, all the while looking like he was going to be sick.
Suddenly he was lifted into the air by strong, comforting arms. He yelped a bit in suprise, tensing when Hunk increased the force behind the hug. Lance squirmed a bit, trying to free his arms, and started when he saw the tear tracks streaming down his face.
"Aw, c'mon, Hunk. Don't cry, everything's fine! It doesn't matter." his words were supposed to be comforting, and Lance frowned deeper when Hunk's tears only increased.
"Wha-you-when did-how did we..." he stammered, before tightening his hold around Lance so much he thought he heard one of his ribs creak. "I'm so sorry, Lance!"
"Woah, woah." he wheezed, patting Hunk's side in an attempt to get him to relieve some pressure. Pidge was still going on a rampage next to him, angrily muttering while she gripped her hair tightly. "Why are you apologizing, big guy? There's nothing for you to be sorry for." Hunk held Lance out in front of him, his eyes red and puffy from crying. Tear tracks stained his cheeks, and he sniffled.
"I'm sorry for-for not noticing a-anything. For not-not being there for you when...when..." he wasn't able to finish, and instead enveloped Lance in another hug, this one less crushing.
Lance looked over Hunk's shoulder and saw Shiro, frozen on the ground and staring off. His complexion seemed even paler, and he was shaking ever so slightly. Lance couldn't see Keith from his position, but it made him slightly nervous that he had yet to say anything.
"Relax, guys. I'm okay! I'm here! Allura revived me!" he attempted to comfort them again, but got no response. He sighed and went limp in Hunk's hold. "Besides, I should be the one apologizing."
That seemed to get Pidge's attention again. Her head snapped up, and Lance got caught in the calculating, fiery gaze.
"What do you have to apologize for?! Dying?! Cause I will literally slap you if you do!" Lance flinched at the response. He knew that Pidge could get riled up when it came to them, but this was a bit overboard in his opinion.
"I'm sorry that you guys never knew. I thought you did." he reiterated, Hunk setting him down. He glanced back over at Shiro and saw that he was now clutching the space wolfs fur with his one hand, which was still trembling.
He turned to Keith, and froze. He stood stock still, Bayard hanging loose in his grasp. Lance couldn't figure out the blank expression on his face, which only worried him more. He cautiously took a step towards him, face drawn up in concern. Keith still had yet to say anything.
Before he could get closer, thin arms wrapped around his waist, with a face burying itself into his side. He looked down to see Pidge, the beginnings of tears in her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but Shiro's soft voice broke through first.
"That was you." his voice was hoarse, and clutched even tighter to space wolfs fur. It looked like it should have hurt, but the wolf just stood there passively, eyes on Shiro. His breath hitched, and he squeezed his eyes shut while lowering his head.
"Wh-what do you mean, Shiro?" Hunk cautiously asked. When his head came back up, everyone was shocked to see the shine in them.
The threat of an upset Shiro must have shocked Keith out of his trance, as he brushed past them all to get to Shiro. He knelt next to him and place a hand on his shoulder, eyes full of concern. Shiro flashed him a small, wan smile, then turned back to Lance.
"When I was...in the spiritual plane..." he started, gaining everyone's attention. "There was a disturbance. I felt it. And then...a star seemed to burn brighter." Shiro took a deep breath. "A blue star." he whispered. Keith gave his shoulder a squeeze, his own eyes gliding close.
Lance was frozen, staring at all of them. Pidge was still clutching his waist, as if he would somehow disappear from her hold. Hunk stood next to him, still sniffling but looking like he was coming back together. Shiro still had his eyes tightly shut, and Keith crouched beside him, eyes also closed.
Lance seriously regretted that he said anything. He meant to joke, but it had turned into this mess. Why couldn't he just find a way to keep his mouth shut? It would benefit everyone if he did.
Lance sighed, and looked down at Pidge. "I'm not gonna go away, Pidge. You can let go of me now." he said gently, placing a hand on her head. Pidge sniffed and shook her head, lifting shining eyes to meet Lance's.
"But you almost did." she whispered, and somehow found a way to squeeze even harder. "And I didn't even know..." she trailed off, a blank expression overcoming her face as she buried it back into Lance's side.
He barely heard the words she murmured into his armour. "I didn't know...I almost lost a big brother again...and I didn't know..." Lance's heart broke, and he hugged Pidge back as hard as he could manage.
The guilt from before sprang back into his gut with a vengeance, to the point where he physically felt nauseous. All this time he had thought they just didn't care about him, when it was so obvious they did.
He must really be weak if he keeps needing the reasurrance that he means something to them.
Pidge sniffed one more time before she let go, eyes trailing to the sand as she kicked a little bit with her foot. Her arms crossed in front of her, a small blush spread across her face.
"Sorry for...exploding, I guess." she mumbled. Lance gave her the biggest grin he could manage through the guilt wrenching his body (and this time it really felt like a grimace) and ruffled her hair.
"Aw, it's alright, Pidgy. It shows that you're actually not a robot." Pidge squawked, but there was a small smile on her face as she pushed his hand off.
That's right; Lance is smiling (or at least trying to), which means here isn't anything going on. His emotions aren't running rampant and the self loathing he tries to push down for the good of Voltron isn't flooding his brain.
Everything's okay.
"Lance." the voice that spoke was thick, and it took a moment for Lance to realize it came from Keith. He was standing by Shiro, but his gaze was firmly locked with his. Lance gulped when he couldn't decipher the look on his face, and quickly decided that whatever was going to happen he wasn't going to like. At all.
"We need to talk." was all he said before he walked up to Lance.
Lance himself was frozen, but with slight fear and apprehension. One thing that he had learned from his time in space was Keith was as unpredictable as the weather. One moment he could be laughing, actually looking like he was enjoying himself for once, and the next he would be snarling, hand reaching for his Blade of Marmora sword.
His stomach twisted even more when Keith gripped his upper right arm and forcibly tugged him away from the rest of the team. He quickly glanced back at them, trying to see if they were as worried as he was.
Shiro was still sitting in shock, Pidge had an eyebrow raised over her red rimmed eyes, calculating the scene, and Hunk looked like he desperately wanted to follow after him.
He sent Hunk what he hoped was a reassuring smile. 'Cause no matter how apprehensive he was about whatever Keith was doing, he knew that the other wanted it to be in a somewhat private place.
Hunk swallowed, but sent back another small smirk and nodded his head slightly.
Lance was smiling, after all, surely things couldn't be that bad.
Keith continued dragging Lance across the beach. The further they got away from the lions and the others, the more his anxiousness grew. He desperately wanted to get away from him, and considered just pulling away because this was getting to be a bit too much and he just wanted to get back to Red and Kaltenecker and be alone so he didn't bother anyone-
One look a Keith's face banished all thoughts of trying to escape...whatever was happening. The other had the determined look he got whenever they went on a particularly important mission, and Lance knew there was no hope. Keith's jaw was set, and his eyes looked steadily forward as the others continued to grow smaller and smaller behind them.
Then, when the team was just small smudges in the distance, Keith finally let go. He spun around to face Lance, making brief eye contact before looking away and crossing his arms.
Lance didn't really know what to do. His relationship with Keith had gotten much better, that was for certain, but it was rarely even just the two of them. It only happened on the rare chance they sought each other out for something or were paired together for missions.
And the fact he still had no idea what Keith was thinking about bothered him as well, making Lance unconsciously rub the back of his neck. It was a nervous tick that he really needed to stop, but his stomach wouldn't stop rolling and his mind was racing.
Well, might as well try and act like his usual self, make Keith stop worrying so much. So, he threw on a smirk.
"So, mullet head, you actually gonna say something or did you just drag me out here to stand in silence? Cause that's pretty lame if you ask me-"
"Lance." he interupted Lance, who shut his mouth at the stern tone. His eyes held a fire within them, and Lance's smirk disappeared. "Stop it."
Lance gave him a puzzled look, the rolling of his stomach increasing even more. It felt like his hands were shaking, but he couldn't tell if they actually were.
"W-what are you talking about?" he winced at the stutter and his weak tone, Keith's eyes boring into his own.
Keith sighed and suddenly sat down on the sand, hands extended behind him and knees bent. He patted the spot beside him, but Lance thought of it as more of an order than an invitation. Lance slowly sat down, arms wound around his knees as he felt his heartbeat pick up nervously.
Whatever was happening, Lance did not like it. He just wanted to get back into Red and process everything by himself. Red was no Blue, but Red attempted to sooth him in his own way.
"You need to stop doing...this." Keith exclaimed, gesturing to Lance. There was a bit of bite to his tone, and he winced when Lance uncounciously flinched back, eyes widening even more. "What I meant is..."
Lance watched as Keith struggled to find his words. His heart was beating out of his chest, and the urge to wring his hands together was almost overwhelming. He gripped his hands onto his knees tightly, trying to stop the shaking he could feel them doing.
Keith sighed and ran a hand through his hair, seeming to make a decision. Lance didn't like that, as his decisions when it came to feeling tended to end in anger. Keith looked out onto the lake, the sun now halfway down the horizon. But instead of anger in his eyes, Lance saw grief. And worry. And concern. Nothing he would expect to see from Keith, unless it was a life-or-death situation.
"You need to stop downplaying yourself." Lance was about to interject, but Keith continued before he could. "And you can't deny it. That time when you came into my room; I remember all of it. And you may not remember our bonding moment-but I do. You were doing this exact same thing." he turned to look at Lance, and everything seemed to stop when he caught the shimmer in Keith's amethyst eyes.
"You died, Lance. There's no sugar coating that. And no matter how long it was for, or the fact that you're alive right now, it still happened, and that's...not okay." Keith glanced down for a moment, a faint purple blush coming to his cheeks before he looked at Lance again. "Everyone here cares about you, Lance. I know you don't think you have a place in this team, that you're easily replaceable." the words drove daggers into Lance's heart, and he felt tears prickle at the corners of his eyes.
Lance wasn't sure what kind of pep-talk Keith was trying to give, but he wasn't doing the bets job. But really, what could he expect from a socially inept half alien?
"And, maybe from a soldier standpoint, you are." Lance's heart seemed to stop, and all his self deprecating thoughts boiled to the surface. Before they could overwhelm him completely, though, Keith kept speaking. "But if you look at it like that, so are all of us."
Lance instantly opened his mouth to argue. Pidge was great with tech, Hunk was the mechanic wiz, Allura was the battle expert, and Keith was their leader. They weren't replaceable, they played an important role for everything mission.
Lance, on the other hand, didn't. He was either in a sniping position, able to do very little, or he was simply an extra hand if they ever needed it. Anyone could do what he did.
"There is an entire universe out there, and I'm sure there are others worthy of piloting the Lions. But from a family standpoint, you are in no way replaceable."
Keith paused for a minute, and Lance didn't miss the way his voice cracked on the word 'family'.
But Lance was still trying to wrap his mind around the concept. Keith thought of them as family? Since when did that happen? They hated each other!
However, as Lance thought back, he saw it. They had become closer. Slowly but surely, their comments and jibes became more of a game than anything, just to see how far it would go.
Lance always make jokes that he wouldn't trust Keith with anything, but he would trust him with his life. He has trusted him with his life, it was necessary in order for them to become a team at all.
"I know that I am not exactly the best with feelings." Keith continued. "But I know that if we lost you...this team would fall apart." Keith gave a small, rueful smirk, turning back to face the lake. "When I left, you were able to keep going. Same with when Shiro was missing. If you were very gone, though, everyone would be a disaster. Including me."
Lance could only stare at Keith, not sure what to feel. All of this was great to hear from the normally shuttered Keith, but it was so bizarre that he didn't know how to respond. So he did the only thing that seemed right.
Lance brought up his arms, which had stopped trembling at some point during Keith's speech, and wrapped them around the other. His head fell onto the plate of his shoulder, and felt Keith stiffen at the touch, but just as soon relax into it.
It took a few moments for him to realize he was hugging Keith, his cheeks going aflame as soon as it hit. And he had no doubt that Keith was just as flustered.
He was about to pull away, but then Keith's arm was there, pulling him back to his side. If it was possible his cheeks heated even more, but he too soon found himself leaning into the touch.
Lance found himself dozing as the sun dipped lower, and a content smile drifted into his face as Keith gave his shoulders a small squeeze.
Maybe he was the most useless Paladin. Maybe he was never meant to fight in this war. And, just maybe, he would die and he would, without a doubt, get replaced.
But for now, all he needed to focus on was his family that they had made, and the family he was going back to see. If he did that, then maybe things wouldn't be so bad.
Nothing was for certain in the future, but as he sat on the sands on this world far from his own, in the arms of his family, he knew one thing for certain.
Smiles were meant for joy, not for covering up the pain. And he would make sure it stayed that way.
*Written before July 20th, 2018-AKA SDCC*