A/N: PLEASE READ THIS FIRST (And take caution...The author is using swear words.)

So, dear reader, you might be asking what the holy fucking hell this is. After all, it isn't the case at all that I already have a monstrum on Fanfiction of God Eater that already counts 58,369 words and isn't even halfway anywhere interesting and holy hell, it already is longer than some that are already finished. Don't worry, the next chapter will be uploaded next week, maybe sooner.

But back to the question at hand. The underlining thought is actually quite simple:

I'm in process of tidying out my document folder.

Maybe not the best thing that one should do after ingesting their third energy drink and already reaching for their fourth but it is necessary in my eyes. I produce a lot of texts because I write every single day (because I'm a lunatic) and the load of shit I put into half-way coherent words, is slowly getting out of hand. Normally, those things will always be stuck in folder limbo and never, ever see the day of upload.

But, since I'm sugar high and sleep deprived at the moment, I unwisely decided that I will upload them anyway because they should get at least a chance to be hated like the shit it is.

So, in short, it is an ONE-SHOT-COLLECTION of pieces that never made the cut, either because the style of writing is so outlandish and experimental that it just didn't fit or just something I slapped onto a digital piece of paper because my stupid brain came up with the idea.

Is it canon? Kinda, sorta and no. Depends on the piece really. I had a (couple of different) romance (paths) in planning once that I scrapped due to me sucking at it. Feel free as taking it as something where no rules limit me and I'm free to write nonsense.

Is it a necessary read it for Loss of Faith/Wolfbann? Nope, it's not. You can take some pieces as a character study, as what-ifs or just ignore them.

Will there be spoilers to later chapters: Eh, kinda and then again, no. I try keeping spoilers at a minimum and when I post something, most of the shit isn't canon anymore for the main story. Some bits and pieces made it but I'm not going to tell what it is.

Can I request something? Yes, you can as long as it is not NSFW (Sorry, not going to do that). Chances are I have already written it and if not. Don't worry, I don't make these chapters as massive as the other ones. So it will take a day or two to do them. Can't make any promises for the quality though because my experience in different genres are lacking (romance, I'm looking in your direction)

Alright? Everything cleared up? Great.

Summary: A little background story. Ficlets over the course of Lucifer's former life.

Kind of shit: Experimental shit.

Canon?: Kinda.

Warnings: Dark implications. There are reasons why Lucifer herself is a dark character.

"Red suits you."

Her small hands carefully reached for the flower crown on her head, feeling the soft pedals. She blinked at the tall person sitting cross-legged in front of her. A man with sun-kissed skin, unruly dark hair and with a bright smile on his lips. The sun dyed his hazel eyes in glimmering gold.

He laughed at her confused look. A pleasant and warm sound that resonated in her ears. It made her feel safe; it made her feel happy. A big, calloused hand carefully touched her head. Her sister always told her that green, silver, gold or blue suit her more or maybe even black. Cold and metallic colors, fitting for her green eyes and strains of almost black hair.

She didn't like them. They didn't feel warm.

And she didn't like the look in her sister's eyes as she told her that green colored eyes were rare. Or when she told her that she would grow up to be pretty. Even though she was smiling, her eyes remained a dark murky color, detached and somewhere else. It made her feel bad to have them, to grow up to be pretty.

He never said those things; his eyes never lost that warm brightness when he looked at her. It gave her some comfort how he readily answered her dozen questions that swarmed in her head. He kept her tiny garden a secret from her sister who saw flowers a waste of time and scolded her for it. He said they were pretty and explained what they were called, sometimes even gifted her a seed that she could plant her. He also often told her stories, too.

Fairy tales of knights and maidens, dragons, and riches. She liked the one with the knight most. The one where he saved a princess from a big and evil dragon.

In the background, she heard children playing, close to her tiny secret garden. She turned, the flower crown was forgotten for a moment. They were calling her, beckoning her to come and play. She jumped onto her feet with a start, boots and small dress dirty from the soil. Her sister would scold her again but she didn't care. The others were always dirty too. The crown shifted and almost fell down her head. She caught it in reflex with her tiny hands and let it go as a sharp pain pierced her skin. While making a small noise she jerked her hands back.

Confused she looked at her hand. Something had stung her. A red droplet of blood formed on her palm. The calloused, big hand came again and touched her injured hand carefully, his golden eyes watching it carefully.

"Does it hurt?"

She nodded, suddenly feeling tears welling up in her eyes. It stung but it didn't hurt that much. Still, a tear rolled over her cheek.

"It's not that bad. I should have told you that they have thorns. Forgive me."

He removed the crown, rubbing over her injured hand. She shook her head. It was alright, she wasn't careful enough and didn't pay attention. Her sister always told her not to do things in haste.

"You are a strong girl, you know that?"

She wasn't sure about that. She still did a lot of things wrong and was crying a lot. But she still had her tiny flower garden to where she could go to when things were unbearable. And even so, her friends were still here. Everything would be fine. He tucked a red flower into her hair, right behind her ear.

"That's why red suits you so much."

She didn't know what he meant or what one had to do with the other. The thought vanished into obscurity as the children called for her again and she hurried out of the small ruin to be with them. Little did she know that this would be the last time, she would see him as she woke up in dirty clothes in a back alley, not knowing where she was.

All she could recall was running. Running and running far away as those men came to their house. Her sister told her to run and so she did, not knowing where to, with one of them hot on her trails. She slipped through the small holes in the walls, pushed through people and screamed for help.

Nobody did help as the strong, cold hand finally reached her and she was dragged back. Her sister screamed and kicked, children cried. She spat vile curses at them, that they would rot in hell for attacking an orphanage but they didn't care. Something silver shimmered in the dark, then with one move, precise and horrifying, all she could see was red on the floor. Her sister had gone silent while the men dragged her away. She couldn't see where to, nor dared to question these hulking cold shadows. The other children wept and they shouted that they should be quiet.

She knew they were bad. She knew she shouldn't stay. She wiggled out of her bindings, tried to help the others but then she saw the silver flashing again. And then she ran again, down alleys she didn't know, through people she didn't recognize but she didn't care, fear gave her wings and she got away.

Only to stand alone in an alleyway, unsure what to do and where to go as people. Alone and lost somewhere in a place she didn't know as hunger started to claw into her stomach. She thought of her secret garden and the flowers, of him who was bright and comforting as the sun. She begged, prayed that he would come.

But he never did. All she could do was cry herself to sleep as she was curled up on the hard ground. She ran away, abandoned the others in her fear.

He had been wrong.

She wasn't strong.

Red didn't suit her.

"Big sister!"

A boy and girl called for her and waved. She poked away the chalk as she stood up. Again, the salvage was nothing to be worth mentioning by but at least it would be enough for a couple of rations. She heaved her backpack up, heavy with the scrap and material she found.

Then she walked over to them and put a hand on their mouths. She told them not to be so loud, the surroundings were still dangerous, even though those creatures weren't around. Salvage in the ruins was the lifeline for a lot of people and some were not above from stealing from others. Their leader had warned her that she was too young but she begged them for work anyway. She wanted to be useful, to do something and they let her, saying it was her life that she threw away.

The last couple of times had been gone well outside the city walls and it would be no different from those two on her side. They joked as they climbed the ruins and enjoyed the sunsets in the distance. She liked how the sky was dyed in different colors and so bright in this otherwise broken world. They often talked about dreams. Dreams like children their age had.

She said that she wanted to be a hero. Just like in the stories with shining armor and all. When they asked why, she told them that heroes are brave, kind and noble and slay dragons to make the world a better place. Everything she couldn't do and everything she wanted to be. A knight worthy of the color red. They sometimes laughed at her, telling her that she cried too much for that but she kept strong and prayed to god that it would happen one day.

But the gods were not kind in this world.

She recognized that as one of them tore boy apart in front of her eyes. She could hear him still whimper and beg as she tried to close the bleeding wound. The rasping breath, the pleas, it stuck in her head, as the red color stained her hands, warm and wet. She tried, she tried so hard but then he went still. Just like her sister did, just as many others did. It had been her mistake. She acted too harshly again, ignored the signs because they needed the rations to survive.

And he died for her mistake. A last raspy gasp as he stared at the sky, lost in the clouds.

This was not how it was supposed to work. This was not how a hero would have done it. She should have thought of him first, she should have been able to save him. If she had been faster, stronger, wiser...

Just something, someone completely different.

The god came again, with claws and a roar and it starred her down. She was going to die, too.

At this moment, she prayed. For a god who would absolve her from her sins, for someone who would forgive her for this disaster. Maybe if she believed hard enough, if she thought hard enough it would be enough for this. He always had told her if she prayed hard enough something good might happen.

But maybe this god was just like those creatures in front of her. Unshaken, uncaring, immortal. A force of nature that couldn't be contested.

Death was her fate. She understood as she stared into its maw and even as she whispered prayer upon prayer it wouldn't be enough.

Then she saw a glimmer of silver as a blade, big as she was tall, and it cleaved right through it.

Blackish blood spilled around her.

Multiple voices barked commands and fought it. She lifted one hand, saw the warm substance sticking on it and the realization shook her to her very core.

The god bled.

The immortal being that everyone cowered in fear from, that was hailed as a force of nature and before people yielded…

It bled.

They fought it like knights killing an immortal dragon. Just like in the fairytale, she used to hear when she was smaller.

It was inspiring.

It was frightening.

How the walls and earth were stained black and red.

Later she would be told that those were God Eaters. Saviors of humanity. A profession she probably would never attain and she couldn't find in her heart to say something against it. They were brave, they fought, they did not waver in the face of death and brought a god down.

She could never be like that.

Someone tugged on her hand forcing her to let go of her friend. A woman older than her, that looked into her eyes, battle-hardened and calm. She didn't recoil in horror at the picture in front of her, at the bloody girl holding a half-torn body. The female warrior hugged her, whispering that she was brave and strong.

She wasn't.

It had been her fault.

Tears filled her eyes again as she tried to swallow a sob.

And still, the color red stained her clothes and soaked into her skin. She still saw it as she was certain that she washed it out, sticking to her hands. The coppery smell was burnt into her mind. It wouldn't be the last time as the gods took more and more.

She still dreamed of the brave knight, with a red cape.

Of walls and marble hallways filled with red tapestry and lined with gold, welcoming back a hero from a successful conquest.

She didn't understand why as she pictured him sometimes with a blade in hand.

And one day she held one, not in the shape or form she imagined in her dreams. Screams echoed through the alleyway, multiple steps rushed through it. People fought, people died. There wasn't a day where there wasn't blood spilled. Food had become scarce after the third draught; people were in unrest, protests lined the streets. Her days as salvager didn't bring her food anymore and she decided to leave them behind.

And then somewhere, somehow everything went to hell as the lowest clashed with the one in power. Nobody knew who killed first or what exactly happened. Nobody really cared and she just tried to get by. The dreams of the knight and dragon, of the God Eaters and halls of glory, long forgotten, she tried to hide from the violence but it wasn't easy without a roof over her head.

But then she heard someone speak up. Like a flickering flame in the middle of all this darkness, burning bright.

She looked, she stared, she felt herself being moved for the first time for so long.

She couldn't be a hero but there was a hero she could follow and help.

She could do something to make this world better. Something that she could do with her own hands.

She had been so blinded by this light, that she never really saw the knife that was pointed at her back, ready to sacrifice her for the greater cause.

And after months, it found its mark.

A martyr was needed to fuel this flame, to further the cause.

After months of comradery, they left her to die in a dirty alleyway, whispering to her that she wasn't useful for anything else.

She didn't understand, her thoughts railing. She did everything for their sake, for a better world. Everything.

Why did this happen? Why was she betrayed? Because she was not good enough?

It never was enough. Not the prayers, not the things she did, the sleep she sacrificed. It had never been enough.

Maybe she deserved it. She was a coward who never took responsibility, who cried herself to sleep because the nightmares of that one night didn't leave her. For once, she had thought, she finally did something right, something good, that she had a chance to change, to be a hero.

How blind she was.

She wanted to laugh, she wanted to cry as her blood seeped into the ground but she just coughed up more.

It was painful. She heard herself whimpering like the pathetic little thing she always had been.

Where had she gone so wrong?

It would have been enough if she had just laid there and took the pain but she was too afraid to just face death like that.

Her shaking hands dug into the soil as she dragged herself forward.

It hurt. Her lungs burnt and every fiber of her being was filled with pain but still, everything she could think of was why.

Red stained the ground, her skin, her body, filled her lungs.

She didn't deserve wearing the color. It didn't suit her but it still clung to her.

It followed her.

Steps drew near. Like a vulture, a lanky tall figure bowed over her, eying her the same interest as watching a dying bug. Adrenalin shot into her system as she caught sight of the emblem on its mantle.

She had seen it before. One of the beasts, one of the devils in human skin who maimed and killed without any sign of remorse, who existed in stories to discipline children. The ones she tried to bring down. The merciless executers, the murderers of many.

Her breath hitched. This was her punishment for all she had done, for daring to oppose them and thinking she would win.

The cold gray eyes stared down at her with no empathy, no warmth, no life in them. She froze in fear but still, somehow her hand reached out for his leg, digging itself into the fabric. She didn't know what made her do that, why she was seeking more pain for this but she still did.

"W...Why…?"

It tilted its head. It didn't kick her away, just continued to look at her.

"Pitiful, isn't it? Do you want revenge on them?" A raspy, amused voice asked her.

"I...want...to...know..." She forced the words out of her mouth as blood pooled around her. The question suddenly burned more than the pain she endured. She needed to know. She couldn't die without knowing the answer.

It offered a gloved hand, black and cold to touch. Still, she took it with hers stained in red. For a moment, she remembers the warm hand and golden eyes but it was all so far gone that it couldn't diverge her from the path she was about to choose.

No more lies, no more delusion, no more following a light that led her astray.

But she was not strong or brave enough, she had never been.

Grey eyes watched her.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembered her tiny garden full with flowers, golden eyes that watched her grow and nurtured her. The kind words that were spoken to her and the kindness she wanted to return. The laughter of children as they played together.

She asked herself why she remembered it now, after all the bloodshed.

Instead of finding her peace of mind, she felt something inside her break.

"Do you want power?" The infernal creature asked.

Of course. That was what she lacked. Power. She hadn't been strong enough to understand. Not strong enough to save anyone. Not strong enough to become a hero.

"I..."

How often had she been warned about it? To strive for power was a sin. A sin she committed long ago and she still was willing to commit again and again. Everything she did out of kindness came back with vengeance. Bloody, beaten, broken.

Without power, she was nothing.

Without power, she couldn't be a knight or hero. Without power, she couldn't save anyone.

She knew she was committing a mistake but she was done with being powerless, with being kind. The powerless couldn't change anything in this world.

All that was left in her vision was red.

"The sunset is really nice from here." Kota sat down and let his feet dangle over the broken roof of the ceiling. "Hey leader, can we stay here until exfil arrives?"

Green eyes watched him for a second and Lucifer sighed. "Since we have cleared the carrier, I don't see any harm in it. Just don't try to doze off."

Next to her, Alisa sighed deeply and shook her head but didn't protest. The Russian girl wanted to scold Kota for his easy-going behavior again. She could see it plainly on her face. Her green eyes trailed towards the horizon, watching the sun go down over the ocean.

"Actually that's the first time I have seen the ocean." She said out loud, catching the younger people's attention and the one who was standing a little bit far off to their small group. Soma was not a people person and she respected that, as long as she remained in her sight and followed her orders.

"Really?" Alisa inquired.

"Really. Although I somehow wished that I wouldn't see it in red."

The sun had set, tainting the blue sky and the blue water in a burning color. It reminded her of fire and the beating hot sun, and with it, unpleasant memories started to stir in her head.

Kota frowned and crossed his arms behind his head. He crooked his head to the side.

"You don't like it?" He asked and she just shrugged her shoulders in return.

"I just always expected it to be blue. Like a large blue landscape stretching into the horizon."

"Of course it's red." Something whispered in her mind.

A shadow moved around her shoulder, its claws softly tucking something behind her ear.

"Red suits you."

Somewhere deep inside her, she knew that this phrase had some significance but she couldn't fathom what it was. Maybe a memory long gone and forgotten that was rearing its ugly, unwelcome head. They were nothing new to her, remembering bits and pieces of a life that wasn't really her life now.

But they were not important.

Her eyes focused into the distance, the small island not far from here.

A/N: Explanation: People who read Loss of Faith will maybe recognize some scenes that later got used from this ficlet. This is actually one of the first tries getting Lucifer's story onto paper. This chapter also has a little bit of an old fable of mine to insert color meaning that sometimes appears in the old story. In this chapter the main colors are as follows:

Red: The star of the show this time. The classic. Red for violence, warning, blood, lust, sexuality, war, and passion. However, red in other cultures often symbolizes wealth, honor, courage, self-sacrifice, loyalty, happiness and success. In Japan, sometimes, heroic figures often have the color red or variation thereof somewhere on them.

Gold: A warm color often associated with divinity, paradise, and brilliance or knowledge and mediation if you go for the Hinduistic meaning. It also stands for wealth, success, royalty and strength, surprise, surprise. But on a related note also for tradition, earth, and harmony. I chose to give Mr. No-Name golden eyes for his role as a well-meaning teacher in her early life and someone who upheld old morals and tradition.

Grey/Silver: Silver is an interesting color. Silver stands for truth and purity but the more non-shiny and grey it is, the more it stands for destruction and mourning. Silver trinkets invite even "evil magic" and "widowhood" in some cultures. There is also the silver-tongued devil, so...Yeah. I will leave that open for further interpretation

Fun fact of the day: It's not a coincidence that Lucifer has green eyes. It's actually a remnant of this. Green stands for jealousy, inexperience and sometimes death but also ambition, spirituality, respect, luck, freedom, hope, healing, knowledge and eternity etc.. In Christian tradition it also means the "victory of life over death". I decided to go with this color because of her relationship with Lindow (who also has green eyes) and their different standpoints to certain matters. (i.e. embody different meanings of the color.) Additional fun fact: Some cultures (among them Japan) don't really/used to not distinguish between green and blue.

So, that's all for now. Don't know when the next update will be. I hope you enjoyed it. Depending on the reaction, I might update this faster.