I am probably going to regret posting this now. I haven't finished my 30 day challenge yet. I have an outline for this and everything, but I'm literally the worst when it comes to multi chap fics. absolutely the worst. I'm really determined to finish this one, though, because I want it out before season seven.

but we'll see what happens. for now, just enjoy the first chapter.

I'm still learning to write these characters. go easy on me please.

Keith watched.

Keith had been watching. He'd been watching for a while. He'd been watching Lance suffer. He'd been watching Lance pretend to be okay around Allura. He'd been watching sad eyes, pained smiles, and an exhausted posture.

Lance wasn't okay.

He hadn't been okay since Keith got back. Apparently, Lotor and Allura had been unintentionally hard on him.

He really did have feelings for Allura. Keith used to think-used to hope-that it was just a cover. Maybe Lance flirted with Allura for attention. Maybe he did it because he thought it was funny. Maybe he secretly liked Keith as much as Keith liked him. Maybe he didn't want anyone to know.

There were plenty of maybes that Keith held onto like dangling threads. But coming back to the castle and finding out Lance had genuine feelings for Allura all along cut every one of those threads loose.

It was a punch to the gut.

Lance was straight. Lance liked Allura. Lance wanted to be with Allura.

Lance would never think of Keith in the way he thought of Allura.

But Keith was still in love with him. Despite all that. Despite everything else.

He couldn't help it. Loving Lance was so natural. It was a part of him, like breathing. And even something like this wouldn't change it.

Keith would've died for Lance. He would've given up his soul for Lance. He would've drowned himself in a pit of acid if Lance, for the rest of his life, got to be happy.

It wasn't going away. Even two years of self-discovery with his mother didn't destroy Keith's feelings for Lance. They grew.

And he'd learned to accept that.

What he couldn't accept, though, was Lance's heartbreak.

Keith had given up on getting over Lance. He would love Lance for...probably forever.

But Lance didn't deserve the unrequited pain. He'd been pining after Allura for too long. And now that it was clear she didn't share his feelings, he had to move on.

An elbow plunged into his side.

Keith blinked.

Lance stared back at him, pouting. His pout was adorable. "Keith! I said your name like five times, man!"

Keith put a hand to his head and shook it. "Sorry."

"You okay?" Shiro asked from across the table.

"I'm fine." He moved his fingers to his spoon. "What did you want, Lance?"

"The food goo. Can't you hear my stomach?"

Keith reached to his left to grab the bowl and handed it to Lance, who muttered a thank you. As Lance took it, he brushed against Keith's leg under the table.

Keith froze.

This happened all the time. They always sat next to each other. Accidental touches were common. Routine, even. Lance never seemed to notice or be bothered by them. But for Keith, every nerve in his body clawed desperately at his skin, crying for more.

Lance pulled back.

The fire died in Keith's chest, leaving him with an empty aching.

Keith sighed.

Just another day in hell.

"Hunk?" Keith stared down at his shoes.

He looked up from whatever he was cooking. "Yeah? Oh hey, Keith. What's up, buddy?"

Keith, with his arms crossed, leaned against the kitchen's door frame. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Keith pressed the tip of his shoe to the ground and leaned his heel against his calf. "You're...Lance's best friend, right?"

"Yeah, why?" Hunk narrowed his eyes. "Are you gonna challenge me for it?"

"What? No. I'm just," Keith scratched the back of his head, "worried about him."

Hunk stopped cutting. He put the knife down and raised his head. "Why? Did he say something? Is he okay?"

"I don't know," Keith admitted. "It's just...ever since I got back he's been...different."

"And?"

"And something's off with him."

Hunk made a face, pausing. "I get what you're sayin'. But if he told me anything, I wouldn't be able to spill the beans cause, y'know, best friend privileges."

"Oh."

"But he hasn't. He's not really opening up about whatever's bothering him." Hunk cocked his head. "I thought it was just missing his family, especially since we're going back to Earth. But I think there's something else."

Keith bit his lip.

Hunk continued. "I've asked a couple of times. He keeps brushing it off like it's nothing." He picked up the knife again. "Maybe you can try, though."

"Me?" Keith blinked. "Lance would never open up to me."

Hunk shrugged. "You never know. If he sees that you of all people are asking," Keith hid a wince, "maybe he'll realize he's not hiding it as well as he thinks he is."

"Maybe." Keith kicked at the floor. He hesitated, listening to the chopping of the knife. "Anyway," he peeled himself off the wall, "sorry. Didn't mean to bother you."

"You didn't bother me."

Keith tried for a polite smile. "Thanks for your help." He headed for the door. With one hand on it, though, he gave Hunk a partial view of his face. "Hunk?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm concerned about Lance...for the sake of the team."

Hunk replied with an unrecognizable smile. "Right."

Keith was losing this staring contest with the door.

And he hated it.

For what felt like forever, he stood in front of Lance's room, debating whether or not to knock.

He didn't know what to do.

It seemed like an easy decision. Just raise his hand. Or walk away.

It wasn't easy.

There were pros and cons to both. But they were outweighed by the desire to talk one-on-one with Lance.

Then that was outweighed by his inner logic, telling him Lance didn't reciprocate his feelings and didn't want him.

Lance didn't want him.

Lance didn't want him here. And he didn't want him in general.

Keith scoffed at himself for being so stupid.

He shouldn't have come here. Forget it.

He turned to leave.

But the door opened.

"Keith?"

Keith had clearly been walking away from Lance's room. He'd barely made it two steps.

He tried not to wince. It was obvious he had just been standing outside the door.

Lance's stare bored into the back of him. With a hard swallow, he realized there was no getting out of this.

So, against his better judgement, he turned around. "Hey."

Lance tilted his head. "What're you doing here?"

Again, Keith repressed a wince. Lance never would've said that to Hunk. Or Pidge. Or Allura. Of course he wouldn't have. They were all much closer with Lance than Keith was. Probably because they didn't push him away to hide the fact that they were desperately in love with him.

Yeah. Probably not.

"I uh…"

Lance crossed his arms and stuck out his bottom lip.

Keith's gaze fell on it.

If only he could get his bottom lip on there…

Focus.

"Are you trying to pull something, mullet?" Lance wagged an accusatory finger. "I'm ready for whatever you got. Bring it on." Miraculously, he whipped his head in every possible direction without straining his neck.

"What? No," Keith said. Lance looked back at him but still stayed alert. "I came to...talk. If you can believe it."

Lance scrunched his forehead. "Talk?" he repeated incredulously.

Keith instantly started to berate himself. This was a terrible idea. This was one of the worst ideas he'd ever had. And one of the dumbest.

Why did he even consider the possibility that Lance might ever open up to him? Keith was the worst teammate. Always had been. And what did he expect? Lance just to spill his guts for Keith's sake?

Keith honestly didn't know what he'd been expecting.

Just...not this.

No. Maybe he had. He'd known Lance would be confused. Maybe even angry. And he should've known better than to show up here in the first place.

But when it came to Lance, Keith had never been able to think straight.

It's almost like he forgot logic even existed.

Keith violently shook his head, turning to the hallway. "Nevermind. Forget it. Don't know why I bothered."

He took a few steps. With each one, his heart sank a little bit lower.

Lance wasn't stopping him.

But then Lance did stop him, putting his hand on his arm and saying, "Keith. Wait."

His voice softened. Keith's insides melted.

He faced Lance, who removed his palm from Keith. Instead, he wrapped it around his elbow and looked at the ground. "So...that was it? You just want to...talk?"

Keith sighed. "I...noticed that you've been...different lately. I just wanted to check if everything's okay." Lance's eyes peered into his own in a way that made his lungs tighten. "To make sure we're on top of our game," Keith quickly added. "If one paladin doesn't have their head in it…"

"I know." Lance's eyes looked like warm chocolate. "But we're just going back to Earth. It's not like we're chasing after Zarkon."

Keith didn't miss how he failed to mention Lotor.

"Right." Keith shook his head again. Hair tumbled across his forehead. "Still. It's important, is all."

"Yeah."

Keith bit his lip. His cheeks were definitely red now. He hoped they weren't. He was good at having a handle on his feelings, but Lance continued to make him unpredictable. He always had. And he always would. "Okay. I guess I'm done."

Lance stopped him. This time, though, he put his hand in Keith's.

His skin was warm and soft like always. Keith wanted to kiss every square inch of it.

"Wait." Now Lance's cheeks reddened. His hand lingered. "You're not retracting the offer, are you?"

"You mean taking back the offer to talk?"

Lance managed a nod.

"No." Keith's pulse burned under Lance's touch. His lip quirked upwards. "I have good ears."

Lance grinned. It was awkward, but it was real. "That's cause they're Galra." Keith opened his mouth to retort, but before he could, Lance stepped out of his door frame and gestured into his room. "Wanna come in?"

There wasn't much small talk to be had between two people that lived together. Even including the time Keith spent with the Blade of Marmora.

Keith had never been one for small talk, anyway.

In between extended periods of awkward staring, one pair of eyes would scramble in different direction. Then look back. They would hold gazes before the other broke it.

And it continued like that for a while.

Keith was regretting every decision he'd ever made up until now. All he could think about was what a bad idea this was.

And how cute Lance looked when he was flustered. Tense shoulders. Pursed lips. Oh. His lips...

Snap out of it.

Keith had to reign in his focus.

He let his eyes wander around Lance's room. There wasn't much to see. His favorite jacket hanging off the back of a chair. The sheets on the bed neatly made. His bayard tucked away in a safe yet easily accessible location.

"It's Allura," Lance blurted out.

Keith shifted his head back to meet Lance. But Lance wasn't looking at him. He was looking at the floor, scratching his neck.

"What about Allura?"

"Well...it's just that...I-" Lance stumbled over the words.

"You like her?"

The words burned Keith's tongue.

Lance raised his eyes. "Yeah." He looked down again. "That obvious, huh?"

"You only flirt with her at every available opportunity."

His head tilted to the side. "Yeah. But that was never...real."

Keith didn't know whether to feel better or worse.

"That's not because I like her," Lance continued. "Not always."

"But you do like her."

The second time wasn't any easier.

Lance nodded. "I like Allura. A lot. And I thought maybe she liked me back. But ever since Lotor came around…" He sighed. "I realized that'll never happen."

Keith's heart splintered for so many different reasons. "Lance...you can't be too sure. You never know."

"I'm sure." He shook his head. And then, to Keith's surprise, he stood up. "Look, man...that's all. Just needed to get it off my chest, I guess."

Keith studied him. It was nice to be able to do it without trying to stay subtle. "Is that really all?"

"Yeah. What, you think I'd lie to you? Wow, you really don't trust me, do you?"

That could've come out in a lot of ways. Lance intended it as a joke, the borders of his voice lurking with sarcasm. But Keith saw through it. He saw it for what it was.

He saw Lance for what he was.

He knew Lance's tactics too well. "No. I trust you. I just...I want you to know that you can trust me. Okay?"

Lance hesitated. His brow scrunched. Keith watched his expression twist into confusion. "Oh." Something genuine seeped into his eyes. "Okay. Thanks, Keith."

"Anytime."