(Prompt-based: 'Imagine Loki being in love with his brother's wife.')

Oh no, another story. This prologue is rather lengthy but I think necessary to get a grip of the atmosphere and feeling for the main story. No warnings needed for this chapter, but for future chapters I will put notes at the bottom in order to not spoil anything for readers who do not want to be spoiled. Featuring an angsty/bitter!Loki and tons of family drama. Hope you enjoy!

Prologue

"What in the norns are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Struggling apparently."

Loki watched in amusement from his position against the tree as you strained to reach one of the top branches. He clicked his fingers and the apple you were aiming for dropped instantly, hitting you neatly on the head. "Ow!"

He laughed at your indignation, and lazily caught the fruit that you promptly threw at him. "Come for a ride with me? I'm looking to escape Amora."

You shot him a sly grin. "Escape? I hear she rather likes you."

He frowned. "She's as likely to bedhead me as she is to do anything else."

"She's very pretty though, you could do worse."

"Is she?" he asked disinterestedly. "Anyway, I've barely seen you this whole week, I've got lessons with Father tomorrow, and I could really do with the exercise. Let's go."

You sent your friend an apologetic look, "I would, but your mother's asked me to get these."

"So tell her you were with me, she won't mind." You rolled your eyes. Princes could be so spoiled sometimes. The apple appeared in front of you in midair; as you took it, Loki lifted his illusion and snatched it back. "Please?" he asked, taking a large bite from the fruit.

"Loki..."

He looked disheartened. "Fine."

Your heart went out to him. "Why don't you hide out here a while? We can still catch up."

He arched a brow. "I do believe you just plan to profit from my advantageous height."

You grinned, "That too."

Loki rolled his eyes, but with a wave of his hand all the fruit fell from the tree. You laughed and kissed his cheek, "Thank you very much."

He rolled his eyes again and dropped to the grassy floor. "I've upheld my half of the bargain, now your turn." Tossing the basket, you sat down beside him. He stretched out in the grass like a large cat, and situated his head comfortably on your lap. Strands of his fine black hair flowed over your knees, and you began fiddling them into a semblance of a tiny braid. He closed his eyes.

"So, I assume you have things to tell me?"

"Ugh."

You laughed. "Is that a yes?"

Loki frowned, and you thought he looked rather amusing from your angle. "Thor's won another victory." The amusement you'd secretly felt dissipated. So it was going to be one of those talks.

Your answer was diplomatic, "He must be pleased."

"He's always pleased with himself. Father's pleased of course, he's throwing a feast tomorrow. Don't you think it's a lot of fuss for such a small thing?"

"It's certainly a lot of expenditure."

The frown had only deepened. "Even Mother's been fawning over him today, have you seen it?"

"Not so far." In fact you rarely saw Loki's oft-spoken of elder brother. You knew who he was and what he looked like of course, like the rest of the kingdom, but your interactions had been limited to a handful of nods in passing and polite applause at state events. You thought he seemed rather full of himself, which Loki assured you he was. "Has he been lording it over you?"

"No - but he doesn't have to. I imagine tomorrow will be another sermon from father in King Thor's honour."

"He's not King yet."

"He will be one day," Loki said bitterly. You reached the end of the braid. "I don't know why Father bothers teaching me the same things, he evidently has no use for me."

You sighed. "That's not true; you'd make an excellent statesman, or even a general. Which would you prefer to be?"

"It doesn't matter what I want. I'm sure Father will make a decision."

Odin Allfather. You did not envy Loki his parents. "Maybe if you mentioned to him how you feel-"

"Are you mad?" Loki sat up. "Remember what happened the last time I said I felt undervalued? 'Then do something of worth.' Norns, even when Thor told him he was being unreasonable he threatened to take Mjolnir from him." He was glowering by now.

You were lost for words. "At least Thor's on your side."

Loki scoffed. "Yes, out of heroism. His poor little brother, always needing him to come save the day. "He probably enjoys it," he mused darkly, "being the golden son. I suppose the more of a disappointment I am, the brighter he is. Do you know what his friends think? They think I'm cowardly. 'The sly one' they call me."

You pursed your lips. "They're fools, they don't even know you."

His face was morose. "They don't have to know me to have opinions. And then Thor's there to defend me," he spat it as thought it was some great sin. "It just makes everything worse." You both fell silent.

"It's not fair," he whispered bitterly.

You stared down at him, at the darkness that had clouded his features. You tugged at his hair. "Loki, it doesn't matter what a few idiots think. You're smart, and you're handsome, and you're more talented than the rest of them put together." He didn't respond but you could see he was listening. "And as for your father... well."

Loki opened his eyes slowly. "Well?"

You sighed exasperatedly. "He's just a man Loki, he's made mistakes too. He's not some perfect bastion you need to prove yourself to."

"Tell him that."

"I will. I'll walk in there and I'll say, 'Excuse me All-father, but you seriously need to back off.'"

Loki's mouth twitched. "He'd have you flogged."

"No he wouldn't, your mother would stop him."

"And so would I," he said fiercely.

You looked at him. "You would?" He nodded. You smiled. "See? Not many men would go against the almighty Odin's wrath. He wants you to be brave and strong and fearsome, but can't you see you already are?"

Loki looked torn. "Not like Thor is."

"But you're not Thor, you're you. Personally, I think you're wonderful."

He smiled one of his rare genuine smiles. "You do?"

You smiled back, "Of course I do."

He reached up and stroked your cheek quickly, his face deep in thought. Then he spoke your name, and sat up as you looked at him with a questioning gaze. "There's something I have to tell you." There was an uncharacteristic uncertainty on his face and it made your brow crease. "It's not... It's not really a simple thing to say. It is, but it's also not."

With mounting concern, you waited patiently for him to find the right words. It was very unlike Loki to struggle to say something. After a few moments he rubbed his face in frustration and exhaled.

"Loki?"

He shook his head and flopped back into the grass. "Nevermind. It's not important."

"Are you sure? You seem upset."

"How could I be upset? I'm with you." You rolled your eyes at his smoothness - clearly he was recovering his silver tongue.

You stretched. "Fine, don't tell me. Now will you help me gather these apples?"

Courtyard, was all the note said. You rolled your eyes; Loki was so cryptic at times. But if he was in the courtyard then he was training, and you were in no rush to linger in the dirt and heat. So you changed your gown, washed your face, braided your hair, and chatted with a few servant girls on your way down.

When you at last got there, they were still at it. You sighed and climbed the stands to sit and wait for Loki to finish - whatever he wanted to do must not be that urgent if he was still training. Crossing one leg over the other, you squinted in the sun. Loki was sparring some blonde man with a sword; the ring of blades meeting echoed repeatedly around them as they danced. Several short minutes passed before they came to a draw and you clapped, half to support your friend and half to draw his attention.

Loki looked up and grinned, his black hair inky with sweat. He gave a short bow and you laughed.

"How long have you been there?" he asked as he came towards you. Standing, you shrugged. "Only a little while; I imagined you might take your time here." You accompanied him to the water basin, squealing as he splashed his face and then flicked some in your direction. He laughed and you slapped his arm. "Why don't you try?" he suggested, fingering one of the golden daggers tucked into his side.

Athletics and weaponry was not your strong suit, unlike some. "Very funny," you retorted.

Loki shrugged. "No harm in it," he said, pulling one out. "Here, take this."

You groaned. "Loki..."

"Oh go on," he wheedled, "for me?"

You bit your lip before sighing. "Fine." Accepting the blade, you let him pull you out and direct you into the correct stance. "Loki, really, I don't think this is a good idea."

"You'll be fine," he assured you. "Now, you see that straw man there?" The object in question was at least 10 feet away. You nodded. "Take the knife, like so," he gently maneuvered your fingers on the hilt, "and relax your arm. Line it up."

The tip of the knife swayed slightly in your hand as you tried to gauge the best height to hold it, and Loki came to stand close behind you. "Draw your arm back, to here, and then..."

The knife hit the straw man and dropped to the floor. You winced. "I told you, I'm not made for this."

"Practice makes perfect," he told you, although there was an amused glint in his eye. "Here, go again."

You tried again, and again, and again, under Loki's instruction - until you began to think it was actually working.

"Ow!" A yelp of pain came from just past the target, where you had thrown the dagger, and a tall blonde man turned quickly and marched towards you.

You gasped, "Oh my god - Loki!"

He was almost bent double, shaking with laughter as the blonde came closer. "I can't believe..." he gasped, tears of mirth in his eyes. "You.. stabbed Thor!" He began howling with glee.

"Loki, it's not funny!" You said frantically.

"Excuse me!"

Whipping around, you began to apologise immediately. "My prince, I am so sorry, it was a complete accident!" You tried to explain and sound appropriately remorseful at the same time. "Loki was trying to teach me how to throw knives, I'm not good at it, I was aiming for the straw man and I didn't even know you were there! I'm so, so sorry!" You glared at Loki, but he was still too delighted to be any help.

Then you looked Thor in the face, and your stomach flipped. He was by far one of the most handsome men you'd ever seen - just as handsome as Loki, although in a different way. His hair was sun-kissed and his eyes sparkled, and it gradually occurred to you that he was shaking his head in humour, not anger.

"It's alright," he said, with a warm voice. "It gave Sif quite a fright though - I should have known this was one of your tricks, brother." Loki snorted. Thor looked back at you, and his eyes widened a little. "Is this a friend of yours?" he asked, confusion and a little shyness in his tone.

You had lost your tongue as Loki introduced you both; and it seemed that Thor was experiencing the same thing. "Lovely to meet you," he said, holding out his hand. You gave it to him numbly, and he kissed it. Blood rushed to your cheeks. Vaguely, you were aware of Loki washing his face again.

"And you, your highness." You finally remembered your manners, and dropped into a curtsy. Thor looked embarrassed.

"No, please, please, it's really quite fine! It doesn't matter!" He smiled at you - not the cocky grin he normally sported at parades and feasts - but a real smile, a bashful one. You automatically smiled back. "Are you at court?"

"Yes, I'm in your mother's service," you explained. "She's been kind enough to add me to her ladies."

He smiled again, "I see - but I've never seen you?"

"I think we run in different circles my prince, I wouldn't be surprised."

"Oh," he seemed disappointed. "Well, anytime you feel like making use of the training ground then you're most welcome. Although in future I'd recommend sticking with the wooden targets instead of live ones," he flashed a blinding grin.

You suddenly felt less embarrassed, and laughed. Thor swallowed. "I will do my best, my prince, but I think it's safer for the general population that I stay far from knives."

He chuckled. "That may be wise. But," he took a step back, hovering between you and rejoining his comrades. "If you find yourself here again, don't be shy of seeking me out. Who knows, perhaps the Lady Sif will make a warrior of you yet."

"I highly doubt that," you replied, inwardly horrified that the legendary Lady Sif would ever have to witness your terrible skills.

Thor shrugged. "Stranger things have happened. You did say you're a lady in waiting to my mother?"

"Yes, my prince."

"Thor, please. So you'll be at the banquet tonight?"

Your heart made an odd bounce. "I will."

"I don't suppose you'd like to... I don't know, dance? Or just talk, or drink, or something? Not that you have to drink, or that you have to do anything, it was just an idea-" Thor looked vaguely panicked and his cheeks were pink.

You smiled again. "I love dancing."

He looked relieved. "Excellent! I'll - uh - I'll find you later then?" You nodded, and he smiled back as your eyes met. You watched him go until he was out of sight.

Loki was still by the basin, drying his face. "So, was he livid?" he asked lightly.

"No, he wasn't. He was," your eyes went back tot he far side of the yard, "he was rather nice about the whole thing really." The black-haired man glanced at you, a strange searching look on his face. "What?"

He looked away. He was twisting the towel between his hands. "Nothing."

"Loki?"

He was leaning against the fireplace, staring unblinking into the leaping flames. Cautiously, you made your way over to him. "Thor is worried about you," you said quietly, trying to catch a hint of expression on his face.

He only scoffed and brought a goblet that you hadn't realised he had been holding to his lips. "So you're here at my brother's behest," Loki drawled. "How considerate." The goblet clanged as he placed it with force onto the mantlepiece.

"You left the banquet early."

He didn't reply. You waited.

"Foolish," Loki said at last. "I was a fool to think-" He cut himself off and shook his head, reaching for the goblet again only to find it empty. With a disgusted exclamation he tossed it into the fire. The flames roared and spat, making you jump back. How much had he drank?

"You were not foolish," you told him measuredly, unsure if he was even listening. "You both knew this day would come; who gained what was never for either of you to decide."

"What I knew - what I still know," Loki spat, gaze fixed on the metal slowly being discoloured by the fire, "is that I worked harder than him, that I tried harder. I made every effort, did everything that was asked..." His eyes glittered suspiciously and you moved closer to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's never enough. I..." he laughed bitterly. "I am not enough."

"That's not true-"

"Is it not?" He turned on you suddenly and you could smell the oaky aroma of wine on him, "Which of us is the warrior? Which of us is lauded and laden with trophies after every battle? Which one of us do the girls squeal over and the men defer to? Whose name are they chanting out there at this very moment?" You tried to stop his tirade but he continued, furiously. "He gets everything, always! He can do no wrong, can never have too much! I hate him."

You couldn't help the shock that coursed through you. Loki often lost his temper with his brother, called him an idiot and an oaf, sometimes they'd even fought physically - but it never lasted long and was always forgotten. This vicious resentment was entirely new to you. But then, you reasoned, he was drunk and hurt besides.

"You don't hate him, he's your brother." You argued softly. "And Loki, he needs you. You are clever and tempered and-"

"I am everything he is not," Loki said blandly. "And so I must do everything for him, with no reward or recognition. Mine is truly a fortunate position."

"Thor understands how valuable you are-"

"And what? So he makes me an advisor, and I sit on his councils and make his plans for him and get what in return? Respect? Admiration? Love? What?" He asked, moving even closer, towering over you. "What do I get? What do I get that he doesn't?" There was a look on his face; a hunger that you had never seen him wear before, and you had to stop yourself from backing away. "He gets everything," Loki whispered, and you felt his fingertips scrape your arms, "He always has and always will."

You sighed. What could you say? He was not wrong; and yet Thor was not a bad man, nor would he make a bad king. You stepped back. Trying to balance a friendship with Loki while something blossomed between you and Thor had become a chore - though you loved them both, you would not speak ill of either of them. His face fell.

"Forgive me, my lady," Loki said coolly. "I forget you're my brother's confidant now also. You may leave."

"Loki..." You instantly regretted pulling away from him. "We're still friends. I'm not judging you for being disappointed."

He turned away from you. "Just go."

Happiness. You had never felt such happiness in your life. "Loki?" You searched all of your favourite hiding spots, urged on by the need to share your news with him. He wasn't in the alcove, nor the library, nor his chambers. Where else could he be? Hurrying, you grabbed the nearest guard and asked them - he was in the stables. Madly, you dashed off.

"Loki!" You reached the yard just in time to see him mounting his black stallion. "Loki!"

At your call he stiffened, pulling the reins to a stop. His horse thrashed.

You came to a dizzy stop in front of him. "I've been looking for you everywhere!" You gasped, a stitch in your side. The smile you'd worn on your quest was still in place. "Where are you going?"

"It doesn't matter."

You leaned forward to stroke his horse's neck. "Then it can wait. I have to tell you-"

"That you're marrying my brother? Yes, he already told me." The flatness in his voice caused your joy to dim a little.

"Oh! Well... Yes, that's what I came to say," you smiled up at him, trying to ease whatever had put him in this black mood. "I also came to thank you."

"Thank me?" He repeated, still not looking at you. "For what?"

You laid a hand on his knee. "For introducing us, for being a wonderful friend. I want-"

Loki started laughing, a cold and brittle sound. "You want a lot of things, don't you?" He looked down his nose at you. "It must be nice, for a nobody, to marry the crown prince."

The smile disappeared from your face and your eyes widened. "What?" He sneered and you removed your hand from him. It took a moment for the words to come. "I thought... I thought you'd be happy for me."

"Happy? Very well." He smiled at you icily then. "Congratulations, my lady, on being just as shallow and stupid as the rest of the population. Truly, this kingdom will be fortunate to have a queen such as you." His mocking words made you flinch. Why was he being so cruel? His horse began to paw restlessly at the ground again. Loki continued. "I thought you were different. But you're just like the rest - another starry-eyed waif, scrabbling to get your piece of him."

"Loki..."

He leaned down. "You're not good enough for my brother," Loki hissed, "and one day he'll see that." The tears that had begun to fill your eyes threatened to overflow.

"Loki..." You tried one last time to reach out to him, but he was clearly done with your conversation. He finally let his horse go; the wind blew strands of hair across your wet cheeks as both horse and rider raced out of the courtyard and into the distance.