I don't own these characters; DC does.

A/N: this is the last chapter, there is sex in this chapter, and there is talk of a maybe-suicide attempt.

4: Hitting the Water (It Hits Back)

Kara tried not to bounce as Alex opened the door for her after they parked at a restaurant. Alex had planned a date and Kara was eager, maybe even anxious, to get to it. They were going on dates, like any other couple. It was wonderful. Magnificent and romantic. Alex always seemed to give it her best.

Best of all, at least to Kara, there were still donuts in the morning along with the dates, just donuts for her, though. Kara was not sure if the dates was financed from not having to buy her coworkers breakfast every day. It probably was not, but it was possible since that stopped a couple of weeks ago. Still, they were dating!

"We've never been here before," Kara said as she looked over the restaurant from the doorway. Dark wood tables with flickering candles greeted her in the dim lighting. Paintings covered the brick walls, all different artists, and Kara had to hold back the desire to study them all. Art was one of the best things about Earth, after Alex and her friends.

Alex smiled. "I know. I wanted this date to be special since it's an anniversary of sorts."

Kara could not help chuckling. "A week anniversary of our first date?" They had gone to play mini-golf. It was fun. She hoped they got a chance to do it again.

Alex's smile grew, letting Kara know she hit the nail on the head. Alex had done these tiny anniversary things for the past couple of weeks as well. Kara felt like it helped Alex get comfortable with their relationship, which was fine by her. It also seemed to help Alex keep the pace with being romantic, which Kara knew Alex feared she would struggle with.

"This should be more romantic than our first date. I was told this place makes amazing Cuban food," Alex said.

"You've never been here before either?" Kara asked.

Alex shook her head. Kara grinned, feeling giddy over getting to experience some place new with Alex. She had already felt like she might float off to space without her powers when she saw Alex somewhat dressed up for her, black slacks and jacket with a women's yellow button-down. This was too much. It was always too much when Alex dressed up for their dates. Kara looped their arms together, putting them on display as far as she was concerned. Yes, she had Alex in a suit on her arm. The world should notice and be jealous.

Kara especially liked how Alex carried herself right now. Alex always held herself like the agent she was, but there was something more in her spine right now, like she was proud to have Kara by her side, just as proud as Kara was to be with Alex. She hoped that was the case.

The restaurant was small, but the atmosphere was very romantic. There was dim light with low music, which was amazing. She wanted the guitar to be the soundtrack of their lives… at least right now anyway. They sat in a corner by the window, which had a wonderful view of a large park just across the street. Kara smiled as she and Alex looked across to each other.

"You look beautiful," Alex said.

Kara squirmed a little in her seat, happiness bubbling within her from those simple words. She purchased this dress not too long ago with the hope of wearing it on a date with Alex. She did not want to show up for a date in a dress Alex already saw her in, especially not a dress Alex helped her pick out for some other date. No, this needed something new.

"Is that dress new?" Alex asked.

Kara nodded, feeling her cheeks burning for whatever reason. "Yeah. I wanted to look nice for this."

"You'd look nice in anything, but I appreciate the gesture."

"I appreciate you."

"Don't keep buying new dresses for me, though."

Kara shook her head. "I want to look nice for you." It was the honest truth.

Before they could gush over each other, like the awkward dorks Kara was all too aware they could be, especially on dates, a waiter came over to save them from themselves. He gave them menus, both for food and drinks. He also rattled off specials, which all sounded good to Kara as she listened carefully. Alex watched her with her a small smile and a sparkle in her eye.

"This might take a minute for her to decide," Alex told the waiter. "Can you bring us two cokes as soon as possible? She's going to figure out what she wants to drink more than likely faster than she figures out what she wants to eat."

The waiter nodded and was off. Kara opened the menu and grinned. "Oh, they have milkshakes. Or things like milkshakes. I don't know Spanish. I can get one, right?"

Alex chuckled. "Get what you want, babe."

"Everything looks so good!" Kara was not sure what to get and she did not want to overdo it. She was very aware of the cost of feeding her. She also was very aware of the attention she got when she really let go in terms of food.

"Kara, I know how you eat. Get whatever you want. Don't worry. We'll lie and say we need to order for people at home and take the other stuff to go if you really like it."

Kara grinned. This was definitely a perk of dating someone who knew her secret. Kara was often cautious about how much she ate in front of people, trying to space things out when she could and always stopping while she was still quite hungry. On dates, it was worse. While she might order one entree, she tended to eat it quickly and earn stares or comments. Even if the comments were not hurtful, she never went on a second date with anyone who noticed. She never wanted someone to think she was anything less than human. But, Alex already knew.

"So, I think I'm going to take the pork home," Kara said as she stared at the menu.

"If that's what you want," Alex replied with a smile. "But, there's a lot of different pork meals on the menu. What are you getting?"

"I'm trying to narrow it down. Don't rush me."

Alex chuckled a little. "I would never."

Kara should not be giddy about food, but she was. Maybe she was giddy about getting a chance to be herself. When they waiter came back, he took their order, appetizers, two entrees, and a couple of takeout meals, all of them for Kara. Alex ordered her entree. The waiter hardly blinked, even as Kara clumsily mentioned the takeaway was for someone else. Alex chuckled, but did not say anything.

"Are you always this nervous on dates?" Alex asked with a teasing grin.

Kara wrung her hands together. "Actually…"

Alex reached across the table and put her hand over Kara's. "Oh, I'm sorry, Kara. Dates must have been nerve-wracking for you all the time, wanting someone to get close to, but not wanting them too close or asking questions or anything."

Kara gave a rather pathetic shrug. "It wasn't so bad. I mean, I didn't date a lot anyway." Of course, she did not date often because dating was nerve-wracking.

"Well, I promise we'll go on more dates if you want."

Kara grinned. She wanted that. Not so much because that was what other people did, like when she was trying to be "normal." She loved spending time with Alex and the idea of Alex wanting to romance her was enough to make her powers spike without the aid of the yellow sun. Alex wanted her. Alex could have anyone she wanted, but she wanted Kara and she wanted Kara and the rest of the world to know. This was amazing.

"Even if we go play mini-golf again? I liked it, even though you thought it was corny," Kara said.

"I should've done a better first date." Alex ran her hand through her short hair.

Kara gave Alex's hand a gentle squeeze. "No, no, no. It was great. First off, I love mini-golf. You know that. I had a really good time. I want to do more stuff like that and like this."

Alex smiled and nodded. "All right."

They sat in silence for a while, holding hands and listening to the music. Kara's heart fluttered as she watched shadows dance across Alex's face from the candlelight. She could not help marveling over the little bit of luck she had in life. Yes, she lost everything, but she had been delivered into the hands of someone who helped her rebuild herself, at the least, who helped her realize life was worth living, someone who pushed her to go on until she was ready and willing to do it herself. Alex was something special, even if she did not know it.

"You think when I go in tomorrow Cat will know you took me on such a romantic date?" Kara asked when everything was all said and done. She could not keep still, literally buzzing with happiness and energy from being well fed.

"I think the more important question is are you pollinating?" Alex smirked as she paid the bill with cash, leaving a generous tip for their waiter, who took all of Kara's food orders like a champ, even when she ordered two milkshakes and three desserts.

Kara batted her lashes at Alex. "Are you hitting on me?" She doubted she was "pollinating." It would be too soon.

"Want to take a walk?" Alex nodded toward the park.

"I'm going to have to tell Lucy you can be romantic when you try."

Alex rolled her eyes while Kara snickered. They took a stroll through the park, Alex holding Kara close. Kara could not help sighing. This was what it was like to have a bond mate? This was incredible.

"Did you know I'm happy?" Kara asked with a laugh as trees swayed around them in a light breeze. She looked at it as the trees dancing with them, nature approving of their union.

Alex chuckled. "I could guess. You're almost floating next to me. I'm glad I could make you so happy."

"You do."

And, despite tempting Fate by walking through a deserted park at night, Kara was able to stay happy. No one tried to mug them, or anyone else for that matter, so she did not have to rush off to save the day. This was definitely perfect. It might not be perfect later on, but that did not matter. And even if the time eventually was not perfect, being with Alex probably always would be, Kara was certain of that. How had Lucy known? Kara wanted to bestow a thousand thank yous and boons on Lucy and did not know where to begin. She would have to start somewhere, though.

-8-8-8-8-

Alex was not sure why she expected this to be a quiet night. Maybe she thought she would be rewarded for such a nice night out, but that did not make sense. Kara did not do quiet nights, even after peaceful walks in the park apparently. Quiet made Kara uncomfortable, which Alex could understand. Floating in space for twenty-plus years, surrounded by nothing but dark and silence, even if she was not aware of it, was more than enough quiet for Kara. Alex respected that, even when she just wanted to lie on the couch and stare at the ceiling, appreciating their closeness.

"You think Lucy was right?" Kara said out of the blue, her head tucked underneath Alex's chin.

"Right about what?" Alex asked. Something was on Kara's mind and she doubted it had anything to do with the movie that was more watching them than they were watching it. Lucy had been right about a lot of things. It was annoying really.

"Well, a lot of stuff."

"Yeah, but what's on your mind right now?"

"Well…" Kara's mouth twisted up in way that showed the words were there. It was possible she did not know how to say what she wanted to say or did not want to say. "I was just thinking about how my coworkers keep saying I'm a beta."

Alex could feel her brow furrow deeply. "Is this going back to you and sex ed?"

"Well, a little. But, I was thinking about how I ended up watching porn to try to understand alphas and omegas and Lucy said I should watch with you. She's been right about so much stuff. What if she was right about that?"

Alex coughed and sat up straighter. She was definitely not expecting that. Quiet night was done. Hell, even relaxing might be done if Kara continued on with this. But, she wanted to know where Kara was going with this and she wanted Kara to be comfortable talking about these sorts of things with her, even if she was not sure she wanted to talk about these things. I'll probably never be comfortable talking about this stuff, but I don't want her to feel how I feel about sex and stuff.

"You want to watch porn together?" Alex asked, holding back a hard swallow. It was a good thing the red sun lamps were on or Kara would have heard the spike in her heart beat. Or maybe she still did considering she looked at Alex with concerned eyes.

Kara shrugged. "One day, I guess. Not right this very moment."

"Well, just so you know, I don't really watch a lot of porn." It was not a lie.

Kara tilted her head and, damn it, it reminded Alex of a puppy. She was going to beat the crap out of Lucy the next time they were on the mat together for making her think of Kara as a puppy. She was also going to beat the crap out of Lucy for planting the idea of watching porn together as a good thing in a relationship with Kara.

"You don't like it? I wasn't too much of a fan of what I saw, but I wasn't watching it for the reason most people do. I wanted to figure out what was with alphas and omegas. Now, I'm a little curious about this whole beta thing since everyone keeps assuming I'm a beta. There are all these whispers at work that I'm wasted on you because you're this obvious, big bad alpha and I'm just a beta," Kara said.

Alex chuckled and embraced Kara, who settled against her again. "Really? I figured that would all go away since we get your donuts before you go in now and I haven't been by recently."

Kara pouted and wrapped her arms around Alex's waist. "I miss you coming by."

Alex could not help leaning in and kissing Kara's cheek. "I'll come pick you up for lunch tomorrow, all right?"

Kara perked up, looking at her with bright, shining eyes. "Okay. Are you going to come up?"

"No, I think I'll call you to come down. I don't want Cat to get pissed with you." She knew Kara was still catching hell over having donuts in the morning. She did not want to make it worse. Or even worse yet, get a lecture from Cat on how to treat her assistant/mentee.

Kara nodded and settled once more. "This is true. So, what is the deal with betas? Why do my coworkers think I am one?"

Alex felt herself relax a little. She could have this conversation. She flicked a few of Kara's locks with her fingers. "Because you lack all of the obvious characteristics that would make you an alpha or an omega. If you gave off any kind of pheromone scent, I'm sure they'd all think you were an omega from the way you act at work. And, as Supergirl people like to assume you're an alpha, but again, no pheromones, so all that is left is beta. Of course, Supergirl can get away with it since she's a known alien. With you, they're trying to figure out Kara Danvers."

Kara's mouth twisted up again. "So, I don't give off a pheromone scent?"

"Not a strong one, no. I mean, I can smell the hell out of you, but I have to assume that's the sex pollen." It made a lot of sense now.

Kara pulled away to glare at her. "I could learn to hate you, you know?" She folded her arms across her chest in protest.

A light laugh escaped Alex. "If you didn't learn yet, I highly doubt it." Alex put her arms around Kara and pulled her close. It was easy under the red lights of the apartment.

Kara yelped and tried to pull away, but could not without her super strength. "How the heck are you strong?"

Kara was still getting used to being what she called "normal" under the red lights. At first, Alex thought Kara was comparing herself to humans, but she had come to understand this is what Kara would be like on Krypton. She would be "normal," powerless. She seemed to thrive in the environment. Maybe it reminded her of home, even if Alex was now the stronger one.

Alex smiled. "I have to be strong to be an agent. You know that. Back to your beta question. The easy answer is that you don't exhibit the sex traits of either an alpha or an omega. Yes, there are pheromones, but there's also the assertiveness of alphas or the submission of omegas. It's lacking in you in the sense that you have both. You're submissive to Cat and other authority figures, but you're assertive whenever you need to be."

Kara scowled. "Lucy."

"I know. I know. Look, most things people think about alphas and omegas have been scientifically proven to be bullshit to a degree, but some are true, even if we don't want them to be and that's based on a balancing act of hormones."

"Do betas not have these hormones?"

"Not on the same level and this is one of the reasons why they don't have the scent issue to worry about. They also don't have to worry about heats or ruts. Mating marks don't affect them. Hell, they don't even get the urge to make a mating mark."

"Mating mark?" Kara's eyes searched the ceiling. "I feel like I remember that from sex ed."

Alex laughed. "Of course you'd remember that." She could not see why that would be the memorable thing from sex ed. She recalled when she took the class, the idea of rutting freaked her out and also trying to satisfy an omega's heat freaked her out. She thought she would never be able to do the latter and maybe she was right, but it did not matter now. Thinking about it, too, it was a little funny how she took the class before she presented and it never occurred to her that she could have ended up an omega.

"Mating marks seemed weird to me. I mean, humans hold themselves so high, above animals and all that and then some of you go around biting each other to lay claim to each other like a bunch of frenzied animals. I still can't figure that out."

Alex pulled her close and kissed her forehead. "It's not all bad or savage, you snob. The mating marks make mates closer. Just like Krypton has bond mates, the mating marks allow mates to become closer and connect on a deeper level."

Kara blinked. "Would you… would you want that?"

Alex took a breath and willed herself to be honest. "Yes. I want that with you whenever you feel like you're ready. Maybe it won't be the same for you, but it would mean something to me." Kara might take to mating marks like a beta. It would be there, but faint or possibly not even at all beyond the physical mark on her body. Hell, it might not even stick since once she got out into Earth's sun, she turned into the closest thing many of them would ever see to a god.

"It would mean something to me because it means something to you. And, if we do your mating marks, could we… well…?" Kara blushed.

"We can exchange vows in Kryptonian as well. If you want, I mean." She assumed that was what Kara was trying to say, but could not get out.

Kara's blush intensified until her whole face was red. "I would like that."

"But, before we do either of those things, we should probably tell my mom." It would be a nightmare. It might even kill Alex, but it was the right thing to do. Sometimes, she just wanted to do the right thing and she always wanted to do right by Kara.

Kara nodded. "And J'onn, right?"

"Well, yeah, of course J'onn." That probably would not be a problem. After all, their friends all took it with strides. Why would he not take it the same? Still, Alex's stomach flipped and she felt sick. Maybe that's just over the idea of telling Mom.

Kara snuggled into her. "See, Lucy might be right."

"What?"

"Because she's right about so much other stuff. She was right to push us together."

Alex sighed. Even when she's trying to be subtle, she might as well just flash the damn Bat signal on what she wants. "Kara, do you want to watch porn with me?"

It was painful watching Kara try not to smile as she shrugged casually. "Well, maybe watching it with you would help me understand the whole point of it. I mean, it was so rough. Are alphas really so rough with omegas? You're not rough with me. Well, not that you really can be. Oh, wait, no, I guess you can be with the red light. Do you want to be rough with me?"

Alex's eyes went wide. This took more turns than she needed in one night. "Can you just slow down already? First off, there's more porn than alpha and omega. Again, I don't really like porn, but if I do watch it, I don't watch alpha and omega because it's all about reinforcing stereotypes and showing the worst of the worst. It's terrible."

"So, what do you watch when you… you know, wanna get aroused or whatever?" Kara asked.

"Well…" Alex sighed. You can do this. You should be able to talk to Kara about these things. You're a couple and you should be honest. "I watch more romantic scenes in movies and stuff than anything else. I'm really not a porn person."

"Because of the way alphas are shown treating omegas in porn?"

Alex shook her head. "No, not really. If I do watch porn, it's never alpha and omega. I just… I've had bad experiences with omegas and I don't want to be reminded of them."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now, not really." Not ever if it could be helped. It would be nice to escape life without all of her embarrassing experiences being laid out in front of someone else, especially someone who did not witness it first hand.

"Is it why you told me you didn't want me to be an omega?"

"Yeah, it is. But, anyway, I don't watch alphas and omegas. It is rough and makes me cringe. I don't think I've ever met anyone like alphas and omegas in those scenes either. It's just too outlandish. I'll watch omega on omega sometime. Betas with omegas. I tend to prefer the female form to male, so not as much beta on omega as I'd like."

"Not as rough?"

"No. Sometimes, it can be sensual or gentle. I like that. I always felt like if I could get sex right, I'd want to be gentle with the person. I mean, I love them, right? Why would I want to hurt them?"

Kara nodded. "That makes sense, but you could be a little rough with me if you wanted to. I wouldn't mind."

Alex shook her head. "I would mind." She was not ready to explore something like that. Hell, she was not ready to have this conversation. "Something to keep in mind for my next rut, though."

"And when is that?"

"Soon. They come every four months. Any idea when you might sex pollen me again?" It would make her rut that much worse, but it should not be too bad. She had Kara with her now. Her rut should not be the torture and torment it had been in the past.

Kara shrugged. "I stopped really keeping track because you didn't seem responsive. But, again, it should only happen like twice a year, so you should be free and clear next rut. And, if not, would that be such a bad thing? I want you and you want me. You don't have to suffer again." She caressed Alex's abdomen, making delight dance across Alex's nerves.

"You don't either. Even if we haven't made it official, I'm your mate."

Kara grinned. "This is so good for both of us. Again, Lucy was right."

Alex groaned. "Go get your damn laptop."

Kara snickered, but Alex did not have to tell her twice. Super speed, as best Kara could after lounging under the red lights for almost a half-hour, for a laptop let Alex know she had said the right thing. Alex really did not have a taste for porn. She did not make it a point to watch it, but this was partly because she had a lot of sexual hang-ups, like being attracted to her foster sister. If I want this relationship to work, I might actually have to start going to a shrink to work through some of this stuff. Kara laid down in her lap and put the laptop on her own knees.

"What are you going to type in?" Alex asked.

"Female omegas on omegas. I figured it would be easier than searching betas and omegas. A bunch of guys would probably come up."

Alex arched an eyebrow. "You seem to know a lot about this for someone who only just started watching porn a couple of weeks ago."

Kara blushed. "Okay, so maybe I looked a couple more times since then. I was trying to figure out the whole alpha and omega thing."

"Even though I told you I didn't want you to be an omega?"

Kara puffed out her cheeks. "I was still curious."

That made sense and was true enough. "But, didn't find anything you like?"

"No, it's all gross when it comes to alphas and omegas. Maybe I should try alphas and betas since people think I'm a beta."

Alex shook her head. "You're a little eager for this." It seemed like Kara wanted to see porn with people like them, as if it would tell her how to behave when they were intimate.

"Because it might be fun! Everything with you so far has been fun and I want to see the big deal about porn. Not to mention, I want to know more about this alpha, omega, beta situation. Who knows, I might have to act like a beta more." Kara shrugged.

"You've been pulling it off without knowing what it is. I think you're good. Not to mention, studying porn is never the way to get anything done, especially when you want to know what to do in a relationship."

Kara was not listening to Alex and Alex knew that. She was way too curious about this porn thing. Alex decided to sit back and… well, watch Kara watch porn? She could not see herself enjoying this. You'll be fine if Kara likes it.

"So, how does this work? It seemed like the most popular was first, but they're always the worst," Kara said, flipping over and draping herself across Alex's lap as she put the laptop on the arm of the couch.

Alex arched an eyebrow. "Always?"

Kara ignored the question and went right to videos. She wasted no time typing in "female omega on omega." Alex wanted to look away, but Kara wanted to watch together, so she would watch together. The video started, Kara's eyes glued to the screen. Alex sighed and ran her fingers through Kara's hair.

"Oh, it is different. There's a lot more kissing than the alpha and omegas. Why?" Kara asked.

"People tend to think omegas are all sugar and sweetness and would spend most of their time together kissing and touching and being sensual rather than jumping right into the sex. They like to think omegas are all about foreplay. Besides, I'm sure mostly alphas make porn and they can't figure out what two omegas would be doing for a half-hour with no dick between them."

Kara nodded. "Does it still count as sex?"

"Sex is what you make of it, Kara." Alex stroked Kara's hair, scratching her scalp a little this time. She wondered how much Kara missed out on sex ed, sexual curiosity, and even puberty as she worried over the death of her planet, the deaths of her parents, being abandoned by the only family she had left, and trying to fit in among humans.

"I don't 'make of it,' though."

"Kara… have you ever at least considered sex stuff? I mean, I know you didn't do it and you didn't really masturbate."

Kara looked at her. "Not really. I tried dating, but more so because I didn't think you wanted me and I wanted to seem normal."

This was a little troubling to Alex. Out of all of the things she worried over with Kara, this one had escaped her and it felt like it should be obvious. Kara had so much on her plate, why would sex ever make it into the whirlwind of her mind?

"Kara, have you seriously been attracted to me since we were teenagers?" Alex inquired, curious a bit. Was the attraction true or just something Kara focused on for lack of a better target and from lack of knowledge?

Kara twisted her mouth up a little. "Well, yeah. To this day, I don't know a better person. You've always been… well, my hero. The more people I met, the more I realized how amazing you were and my affection sort of grew for you, continues to grow. I don't think I really associated you with sex until recently, though, because I didn't think about sex until recently. I just want to be with you."

Alex's heart melted at that response. How did Kara know the right thing to say without even knowing what troubled Alex? "You're with me. We'll always be together." At least in the spiritual sense. Hopefully, that would be enough for Kara one day.

"I like sex, though." It was a little funny the way Kara said it. So casual, like talking about a television show they were supposed to watch. "I mean, beyond it feeling good. It makes me feel close to you."

Alex nodded. "It makes me feel close to you, too." It made her want to strut around, too, because she was satisfying Supergirl. No other alpha could ever say that. Could you be any more of an asshole alpha right now? Well, at least she never acted on the desire to strut.

"Is sex always like that?"

"Not from my experience. I used to try for the connection, but never quite made it like I do with you." She had chased the connection a few times and gave up when it never materialized. It made her stomach clench a little thinking about it.

Kara stared at her for a long moment. "If sex is supposed to be all connecting and stuff like that, why do they make porn like the alpha and omega stuff?"

Alex chuckled a little and her stomach settled again. "Sex is more than the butterflies and rainbows we want it to be. Sometimes, sex is dirty and gritty and people like that. Some people like a little pain with their pleasure. Beyond that, some people just like to imagine those things and porn lets them live their kinks without actually living their kinks. And, also porn is porn."

Kara nodded and her eyes went back to the porn video. Alex watched Kara rather than the video. Kara's face scrunched up in concentration, like she was studying the video more than watching it for pleasure. It was a little funny, but it also hit Alex a little heavy. Kara missed out on normal teenage things thanks to life and her circumstances.

"Oh," Kara said, as if surprised.

"What?" Alex's eyes dropped to the video. The omegas were still kissing, but they were also fingering each other.

"It makes me think about when you touch me. Is that one of the reasons people watch these videos?"

"One of the reasons."

Kara nodded and shifted a bit, elbow digging into Alex's abdomen. Alex wiggled, enough to let Kara know she needed to move. Kara moved back a little, supporting more of her own weight. She moved her hand to Alex's abdomen, rubbing the area, as if in apology. The simple touch coupled with the sounds from the video made Alex stir in her pants.

"Kara," Alex said, wanting to warn Kara about what was going to happen should this continue.

"It's okay. I kinda get it. This is a lot better than watching a big alpha throw around an omega," Kara said.

Alex was not sure if Kara really understood what she wanted to say, but then Kara cupped her through her pants, so apparently she got the message loud and clear. Alex shifted a bit, not sure how she should feel about this. But, should she have expected anything else? What happened when partners watched porn together anyway?

"Alex, can I…?" Kara pressed her thumb against the head of Alex's cock.

Alex's brow furrowed. "You want to?"

"I wanna keep watching, but I wanna touch you, too. Is that okay?"

"It's always okay." It would still take some getting used to, but she was fine with Kara touching her as long as they were alone.

Kara eased her hand into Alex's pajamas and caressed her while still watching the video. Alex exhaled, relaxing into the touch. Her eyes drifted closed and her fingers remained threading through Kara's hair. Maybe it would be a quiet, lazy night, even with the sounds of a porn echoing through the apartment.

"Hey, you're not going to watch?" Kara asked.

Alex opened her eyes. "I don't really care for porn, Kara. You go ahead and watch. You might find something you like. I'm okay like this." She was not sure if Kara would be all right with that since they were supposed to watch together, but Kara did not object.

Kara's hand remained on Alex, slowly jerking her off. Kara purred as Alex threaded her hair at the same rhythm as Kara's hand. It was nice and then Alex almost jumped out of her skin as Kara ran her tongue along the head of Alex's dick. Alex adjusted how she sat as Kara took Alex into her mouth. Alex had to open her eyes, needed to see what was going on.

Kara was still watching the video, or at least trying from the angle of her head. Alex tried to sit further back, wanting to see Kara's face, but all she could see was a crown of blonde hair since the couch did not recline. It did not matter as she could feel it all and pleasure flowed through her like a spilled liquid. It was nice, not something she expected with porn playing not even two feet away from her.

"Kara…" Alex moaned, feeling like she should say something, but she did not know what to say.

Kara pulled back. "Bed?"

"If you wanna."

Kara shut the laptop as the answer to that question and increased the output of the red sunlight in the bedroom, even though they were not there yet. Alex did not ask any questions, just watched Kara work. Kara put the computer on the unoccupied space on the sofa and then came in for a quick kiss before taking Alex's hand. Kara tugged her off of the couch, probably finding it harder than she expected, even though her powers were not completely out.

"Kara, wait." Alex tried to fit her pants, not wanting to trip on the way to the bedroom.

"No, come on. It'll be good." Kara tugged more.

Alex laughed. "I know it will, but I don't want to fall on my face before we get there. You want to have to treat my head injury?"

Kara halted dead in her tracks. "Good point. I'm sorry, but I wanna be close to you."

Alex chuckled again. "No, you wanna fuck. It's okay."

Kara eyed her, squinting. "There's a difference?"

"Yes. You got horny watching the porn and you want to fuck. I have no problem with that. We're going to be close no matter what and sex doesn't always have to be for the same reason."

Kara's face was completely twisted up now. "Like how do you mean?"

Alex suspected she was going to lose her boner, but she did not mind. She was glad to help Kara through this curiosity. She would rather Kara ask her about this than anyone else.

"First off, you know sex feels good. People do it just because of that, I'm sure you know. Then, there's being close, which is what we both like. It's a way to express how we feel about each other. It's fun, too. People do it for fun. It can be for all of those reasons or some of those reasons or other things. Some people do it to find what they like."

Kara turned her mouth up. "I like what we do."

"Well, yes, but there's so much more stuff, Kara. I mean, stuff I don't even know about. Stuff I haven't even thought about really, so I'm sure you haven't. But, there's so much."

"Like what? Should we actually just watch more porn?"

"If you want to." Alex did not want to, but she would muddle through it. Hell, they might discover something she liked or wanted to try.

Kara shook her head. "Not right now. I do want to be close to you and I want to cuddle with you in bed… after sex."

Alex chuckled, but did not turn Kara down. Kara took her by the hand and walked with her to the bedroom. Once inside, Kara kissed her so sweetly, like candy. Alex returned the show of affection, hoping somehow her kiss was just as soft, gentle, and satisfying. Kara's hands roamed Alex's torso before settling on her breasts. Alex smiled against her lips.

"I want to explore stuff with you," Kara said, hands sliding down to Alex's pants.

"Whatever you want," Alex replied.

"But, you've done stuff before. Stuff you didn't like?"

Alex pulled away a little. "Not really. My main problem is I've done stuff drunk."

"Why?"

Alex moved a hand to caress Kara's cheek and offered her a small smile. "I tried stuff with people who weren't you. I wanted them to be you, but they weren't and to deal with that, I got drunk before trying anything. It wasn't a good way to do things."

Kara's expression softened with worry, as it tended to do. "Well, now you can try things sober with me."

Alex nodded and leaned in for another kiss. Despite all of their talk of trying new things, they eased each other out of their clothings, as they tended to do. There were tender caresses as they got each other nude and settled on the bed. Alex lost track of time as she lost herself, drifting through the field of Kara's soft skin and the pleased, little sounds escaping her. Alex pulled back a little, breaking their kiss, as Kara's wrapped her fingers around Alex's cock.

"You want it?" Alex asked.

Kara nodded and let out a low breath. "Give it to me."

Alex groaned. "Of course."

Kara shifted onto her bed and tried to pull Alex on top of her. In the bedroom, under the red lights, Kara found herself unable to move Alex. There were times when Alex was certain this fascinated Kara, which was why Kara was trying so hard right now to move her. She gripped Alex's arms and tried and tried and tried. Alex smiled down at her.

"Alex," Kara whined.

"Yes?" Alex knew what Kara wanted, of course.

"I need you."

Alex leaned down for a brief peck on the lips. "I know."

Kara groaned and arched against Alex. The meeting of their skin made Alex shiver. She went in for another kiss, longer, deeper, and Kara got her way through her kiss. Alex moved in between Kara's legs and lowered her body until their breasts were pressed together. This was one of the best feelings.

"Please, Alex!" Kara clung to her shoulders, nails biting into her flesh. Alex loved the sensation.

"This might be a thing," Alex commented as she moved a hand between them. She hated not preparing Kara before putting her cock inside of Kara. It was a little hard to concentrate as her brain just wanted to focus on Kara trying to pull her down.

Kara was tense, neck strained, accidentally presenting her flesh in a way that made Alex want to mark her. "Stop teasing."

Alex licked her lips. "I'm not. I'm marveling. I very much like you pulling me, trying to move me."

Kara blinked and stared at her, almost as if she was out of the moment. "I like it, too."

"I also like touching you a lot." Alex proved her point by caressing Kara's clit.

Kara purred and arched into Alex's questing fingers. "I like touching you, too."

Alex felt Kara's hand brush against her erection. She groaned and made it her mission to get Kara to forget about her and just experience their time together. Her finger was replaced with her thumb and she made tight circles on Kara's clit, quickly learning that was Kara's favorite touch. Kara's head fell back and she let loose a loud moan. Alex pressed a little firmer and Kara's legs opened wider, silently begging for more. Alex slipped a finger inside of Kara, earning a sob from Kara.

"Fuck!" Kara clutched her tighter.

Alex throbbed at the sound of wholesome Kara swearing. Who else could make Supergirl curse and keen? Her inner alpha could not help preening over this and pushed her further. She added another finger and pumped slowly while making sure to keep her thumb exactly where Kara needed it, right where Alex needed it.

"You feel so good all the time," Alex said in a whisper. Having Kara around her fingers, pulsing hot and wet around her was enough to blow her mind.

"Alex, please!" Kara twisted a little.

"I've got you, baby. I've got you," Alex said, even though she was not sure what Kara was begging for. Maybe it was to climax, which Alex would give her, but it was more likely she wanted Alex's dick. Kara liked to explode on Alex's dick and Alex did not have a problem with that, but she liked to make sure Kara peaked at least once before she went after her own orgasm.

Kara sobbed again as Alex increased her pace. The way Kara dug into her arms, Alex knew she would have marks, but it did not bother her. She would wear them as badges of honor. If only she could wear tank tops to work and show them off.

Kara shot up, kissing Alex. Her hands moved to the back of Alex's head, keeping her in place, not that she wanted to go anywhere. Kara threw her leg over Alex's hip and she shuddered against Alex, pulsing around Alex's fingers. It was glorious, as Alex knew it would be, as it always was. After a few seconds, Kara's body calmed down, but she panted in Alex's mouth. Kara ran her hands up and down Alex's back, feeling lines in her shoulders.

"Now, please," Kara said.

Alex did not verbally respond as she took her fingers out of Kara and braced herself on her elbow. She rocked her hips, gliding through Kara's warmth. Kara moaned as Alex bumped her clit several times and she tried to pull Alex down as she pushed inside. Alex's head dropped to Kara's neck and she nipped at Kara's pulse as she was surrounded by Kara. It felt like she would drown in Kara. It would be the best way to go.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," Alex chanted into Kara's neck. She kissed and tongued the area, biting back the desire to do more.

"Yes, give it to me!" Kara gripped the short hairs at the nape of Alex's neck.

Kara's hold drove Alex's hips a little harder, the wet slapping sound echoing through the bedroom. Soon, that was drowned out by their moaning. Alex could hardly process the feel of Kara around her, even now, after so many times of doing this. It would never be enough. Kara wrapped her legs around Alex's waist, pulling her closer with each thrust. All too soon Alex could feel a hot stirring low in her abdomen.

"Kara," Alex groaned, pumping harder.

"Fuck," Kara replied.

It did not help to hear Kara swear and before Alex could stop herself she bit down on Kara's neck. Kara held her tighter and made a noise that was so sweet it seemed to suck Alex's climax right out of her. Alex's teeth sank in deeper as she exploded inside of Kara, who seemed to hold her tighter and tighter. Alex barely realized what happened as she felt her knot swell and Kara fluttered around her.

"Alex, that was amazing," Kara said.

"Shit." Alex pulled back, wanting to inspect the damage. While they had said they were mates, they had not discussed her biting Kara, especially when she could break skin.

"What's wrong?"

"I bit you."

Kara purred and it made Alex's insides melt. "I noticed. I think you humans might be onto something with that. It made me come."

Alex's knot throbbed hearing Kara say "come" in that context. "Okay, I need you to stop using sex words."

Kara chuckled a little. "Yeah? I wanna use more. You should teach me some."

Alex ignored that and rubbed the bite mark with her thumb. "I don't think I broke the skin, so we're okay."

"That felt so good. Why does it matter if you broke the skin?"

"That's usually the thing that triggers a mating. I'm not sure how it would work with you since you're not human. My bite might not affect you."

"What if I bite you?"

"That should probably still work. There are studies that show betas, who tend to not be affected by mating marks, can still mark their alpha or omega mates, who will feel the effect to a degree. The connection isn't as strong or as deep, but it does release the same hormones and chemicals."

Kara ran her hands up and down Alex's back. "You'll tell me more about that, right?"

"Not right now." Alex sighed and relaxed, collapsing back onto Kara, who mewed. "And stop with the damn purring. I can only come so much."

Kara snickered. "So, you can say come, but I can't?"

Alex responded to that by moving her hips. Kara keened and arched against her while digging her nails into Alex's back. Alex inhaled sharply, loving the scent of Kara and along with the dig of her nails. She kissed and licked the bite mark she left behind. She had not broken the skin, but she felt protective of it, like it was a mating mark. Her body relaxed, ready for sleep.

"Am I too heavy?" Alex asked, voice low and distant even to her own ears. She was already halfway gone.

"I like it," Kara replied, her voice also a whisper and she clutched Alex to her.

"Good." And with that, Alex fell asleep.

-8-8-8-8-

The bite mark healed by the time Kara got to work. The Earth's sun worked wonders, even though Kara wished it remained enough for her to display for a little while. Could her coworkers tell it used to be there? She would have to look it up. She wanted to know more about these mating marks. It felt so good to have Alex bite her and that was not even the mark, so yeah, she needed to know more.

"Kara, you're looking perky," Meghan commented as she made her way to her desk.

Kara doubted she could sit up any straighter. "I had several donuts today and some donut holes to go." Not to mention she had sex not even two hours ago with Alex before leaving for work. Sex was awesome. Sex with Alex was nothing short of divine. Those red sun lamps were the best.

Before they could exchange any other words, Cat called Kara into her office. Cat was pacing already, phone to her ear. Kara could guess what this was about, so she shuffled through her emails and settled on a confirmation email. She waited for Cat to acknowledge her, getting a simple look. She held up her tablet, displaying the email.

"Well, I'm looking at confirmation right now. No, see, my assistant is actually competent. I'm not sure if I can say the same for yours," Cat said.

Kara smiled a little from the compliment. Of course, Cat glared at her, which disappeared the smile instantly. Cat huffed and turned away, listening to the excuses on the other end of the phone. Kara was not sure, but someone messed up on an important dinner Cat was scheduled to attend. They had ignored Kara when she called yesterday to point out the invitation had not arrived yet, so now they had to face the fury of Cat Grant. It was not pleasant and Kara winced through every well placed barb from her boss. Then, Cat hung up.

"They're supposedly sending the invite by courier. If it's not here within an hour…" Cat did not finish the sentence, as Kara knew what to do.

"Did they tell you they tried to bump you for Perry White?" Kara asked, just wanting to bring Miss Grant's full wrath on them after the way she was treated yesterday, like she was some sort of liar.

Cat's gaze narrowed. "I suspected as much, but it's good to know I was correct. Is everything else in order?"

"The only change I have is this afternoon you can meet with those firefighters you want for the cover of Cat magazine."

Cat arched her eyebrow. "What happened?"

"They're flying out to the East Coast. Apparently, they're being honored in New York."

"They saved children from a wildfire here. Why does New York care? They can't possibly be short of news there."

Kara shook her head. "No, it's to help spread awareness of the California fires."

"I suppose that's acceptable. Everything else is in order?"

"Completely."

Cat nodded. "Don't look so smug. Just because you've been hyper competent lately doesn't mean I'll let your girlfriend bring in donuts again."

"But, donuts help!" Kara would rather have donuts in the office than getting them before she came in. She felt like she had to inhale the donuts now rather than savor them, as donuts deserved. Beyond that, she would like Alex to come up to her desk again.

"Yet, you've survived without them. Hopefully, your girlfriend has used the saved money to take you out somewhere worthwhile."

Kara nodded with a grin. "We had Cuban food the last night at this fancy place!"

Cat held her hand up. "I have very little interest in hearing about your date. As long as you continue to do your work rather than distract the office with useless donuts."

Kara gasped. Donuts were never useless! "The donuts aren't the distraction." If anything, Alex was the distraction and Kara could understand why Alex was such a distraction. In fact, she was about to be a distraction right now and Alex was not even there.

"It will never cease to amaze me how you keep your figure with your dietary habits. You think I don't see you out there stuffing your face constantly?" Cat inquired.

Kara's eyes went wide. She tried her best to pace her eating, but she could not help it. There were not a lot of things she needed on Earth, but she needed to eat, almost all the time. If Cat put together how much she ate, she doubted it would be hard for her to make the connection Kara was Supergirl, even if she had J'onn impersonate her a million times.

"I spend most of my time working out when I'm not here," Kara found herself saying. It was not exactly a lie. In fact, Alex might even be proud of her.

"Being with your girlfriend doesn't count as working out."

Kara almost swallowed her tongue and choked on a reply she did not even have. She had to get out of this office before Cat killed her with her words. She searched her mind for some duty that she needed to get to at the very moment. Nothing came up. Oh, Alex would not be proud of her.

"Is that the courier?" Kara turned and rushed out, throwing herself into her chair. With her super-hearing, she could hear Cat chuckling. So, that was on purpose. Why would Cat rattle her about her relationship? Was it a way to check on her? Kara wished Cat could just ask like a normal person.

Kara went to work until her phone buzzed. It was Alex, inviting her to lunch. She grinned and tried not to bounce in her seat.

"That was the girlfriend?" Meghan asked from across the way.

Kara cringed. "What? How can you tell?"

"You're grinning like a madwoman," Angela pointed out.

Kara tried her best to straighten her face, but she could feel smile. How could she not smile? Alex wanted to go to lunch. She loved being around Alex and since starting this new facet of their relationship, she found herself giddy about being around Alex. It was like when they were younger and first became friends.

"I would grin, too, if I had an alpha like that at home," Crystal said.

Meghan sighed. "Please, don't start."

Crystal held her hands up in surrender. She had been trying to be good after she figured out how her words about Alex made Kara uncomfortable. But, Kara had to admit, Crystal was not a liar.

"Everything is going well with your girlfriend, though, correct?" Angela asked.

Kara nodded. "It's going good. She wants to go to lunch again."

"One day she's got to let us kidnap you," Meghan remarked.

"I'm sure one day she'll be trapped at work." Of course, Kara would still go be by her side. She would just tell these ladies something else. She was glad they wanted to befriend her, but she just wanted to be with Alex. Besides, she wanted to be able to eat a regular lunch for her and she would not be able to do that with an audience.

"Then, we'll wait for that day," Angela replied with a chuckle.

-8-8-8-8-

"How is this even possible?" Lucy panted, pushing herself up from the mat as Alex stared down at her. Vasquez was smart enough to stay down, but Lucy had yet to learn. Alex owed her for the porn suggestion, after all. Not that Lucy knew that was going on.

"You'd think she'd have less energy from getting laid all the time," Vasquez remarked.

Alex was about to respond to that, but an agent rushed into the gym and cut their sparring session short. All three of them were needed for a situation. Alex hoped she did not have to cancel lunch. Still, the agent rushed them to a conference room where J'onn waited for them. Turned out, it was only to plan an operation for later that week, but Alex might have to tell Kara to make other lunch plans and possibly expect her home late at the end of the week depending on how all of this went. Seeing J'onn, though, reminded Alex, they needed to tell him.

"Hey, sir," Alex said, stepping over to J'onn once the meeting was over. As it turned out, the meeting did not even run long. She could still keep her plans.

"Yes, agent?" he asked.

"Are you busy this weekend?"

"You know how I feel about fraternization."

Alex held in a laugh, as they were at work and she had a reputation to keep up. Beyond that, she actually had no idea how he felt about fraternization. He had to know about Lucy and Vasquez. She suspected for a long time and she could not read minds. Not to mention, she was terrible at recognizing the signs for that sort of thing.

"Kara and I want you to come over for dinner," Alex said. They had not discussed when he would come over, but they had discussed telling him. She would let Kara know she invited him as soon as she could. If Kara had a problem with it, then she would take care of that.

"Are you cooking?" he asked with a bit of a smirk.

Alex squared her shoulders. "I can cook!" Well, she could do a little something.

"I'm not sure if I want to chance that."

She snorted. "Fine. We'll order out." She planned on that anyway since cooking for Kara was like cooking for a family of five. She did not have that kind of time.

He smiled a little. "Let me know what time."

"Of course." Alex stepped away, needing to go shower and get dressed for lunch with Kara.

She took her bike to the CatCo building, knowing Kara loved riding on her bike, in case Kara wanted to go somewhere far for food. Texting Kara she was there, she waited in the lobby of the building. She would have liked to go pick Kara up at her desk, but knowing Cat considered her presence a distraction was enough to keep her downstairs. She did not want to get Kara into any trouble. Kara practically bounced over to her when she got off of the elevator.

"Where do you want to go for lunch?" Kara wrapped their arms together and pulled Alex toward the door, moving her with much more ease than last night.

"It doesn't matter to me. You're the one who eats like she has a hollow leg," Alex replied with a smile.

Kara chuckled. "I've never actually understood that phrase. If I had a hollow leg, why would I eat more?"

"I believe the implications are you're putting food into the hollow leg."

"But, why?"

"I have no idea. Sometimes, phrases aren't meant to make sense. Now, where do you want to go?"

It was a good thing she brought the bike, as Kara wanted food from cross town. Alex enjoyed the way Kara clung to her back when they rode, as if she wanted to merge with Alex's back. Is this how Kara feels when we fly together and I hold onto her? Alex imagined so.

They sat down at the restaurant and while they waited for food, Alex decided to let Kara know she invited J'onn for dinner. "I figured it's time we tell him. If you don't mind."

Kara shook her head. "I don't mind. I think it's a good idea since we've already told everyone else. So, when are we going to tell your mom?"

Alex blew out a breath as her stomach dropped into her feet. She wanted to put that off forever, but it was not possible. She loved Kara and wanted their relationship to move forward. For that to happen, she needed to tell her mother.

"Alex, it'll be okay." Kara reached across the table and took Alex's hand.

Kara could probably hear her heart pounding in her chest. Alex did not feel any better, even with Kara holding her hand. Of course Kara thought everything would be okay. Kara never got in trouble with her mother. Everything was always Alex's fault.

"I know it will," Alex lied. She was not sure how this would play out, but she still certain it would end in her death. Her mother would not stand for her defiling Kara in this way. So, even if her mother did not murder her with her own two hands, which Alex could not put by her, it was likely the words that would destroy Alex. She thought about her maybe-attempted suicide. Her mother could push her that far.

Kara gave her a small smile. "Tell that to your heartbeat."

Alex only laughed, not having anything else to say. Thankfully, their food arrived before she needed to say anything. Kara jumped right into her food, enjoying two types of jambalaya as well as most of Alex's gumbo. Cajun food was a treat, as the restaurant was way too expensive for them to eat it often.

"One day, we should take a trip to New Orleans," Alex found herself saying. She and Kara had been through a lot, but they had not been to many places together. Would they be able to do this before telling her mother? She doubted it.

Kara's face lit up. "That would be perfect! We'll have a great time. I've actually never been to Louisiana. Have you?"

Alex shrugged and it took every fiber of her being to keep from slouching in her seat. "For work." She would never get to see New Orleans or any other part of the world with Kara. She knew she should accept that. Yeah, and don't make plans you can't keep.

"You've been a lot of places for work?"

Alex nodded. "A few." She did not really get to enjoy any of those places. When she went some place for work, it was seriously work, be it for aliens or just science in general. She rarely had time to enjoy the sights beyond seeing them from her hotel. And, you never will, so accept it and don't rope Kara into your stupid fantasies that won't happen.

"I want to fly with you." The look in Kara's eyes were like she relived a dream.

Alex shook her head. "That's dangerous."

"I know, but I love it. I love you."

Alex smiled and her stomach settled because of those words. Maybe that was how she would survive things with her mother. Kara would simply say those magic words to her and somehow everything would be all right. Oh, please. You know that's not true. You're doomed. You've always been doomed.

"I want to make plans with you, for the future," Alex said. Kara was her future, if her mother decided to allow her to live. She won't and you won't, so again, stop dragging Kara into your fantasies. You know it'll only hurt her more when you're gone. Her stomach dropped into her feet. The pain of Kara being alone hurt more than the thought of her mother killing her.

Kara smiled. "Me, too."

"Not just plans like trips, which will be nice, but… even like…" Alex blew out a breath. "I almost marked you the last night. I want to mark you." She wanted to, but this was new and Kara did not truly understand what a mating mark meant. Hell, she might never truly understand what it meant. Alex wanted that, though. She wanted all that entailed as well. I want to live. She needed to be strong, not just for herself, not just for Kara, but for all of this.

"I know. Can we talk about that after we tell your mom? You know I want to exchange bonding bracelets with you and vows and everything," Kara replied.

Alex felt a smile curl onto her lips. Kara had expressed this a number of times, but she still found it so hard to believe. Why did Kara want her? Kara said she was the best person had ever met and Alex did not understand that.

"How did I get so lucky?" Alex accidentally said that aloud. Maybe it would help her push through this thing with her mother, give her the will to fight back if she needed to.

"I wonder that sometimes, too. Out of everyone in the universe, I'm glad you're the person Fate decided to hand me over to."

"Well, really Clark and it was more my parents than me."

Kara shook her head. "It was you. You were the one who had my back, who tried to help me be a regular kid, and stuff like that. Even when you tried to help me with my homework, I marveled over everything you did. I mean, whenever your mom or dad tried to help, I didn't get it, but you always knew how to help me get it. You always knew how to make me feel comfortable."

"And uncomfortable." There were times Alex was not proud of. Times when she abandoned Kara, times when she shunned Kara, times when she just wanted Kara to go away, so she could be a regular kid, so she could get her parents attention, so someone could remember she was more than "the weird kid's sister."

Kara ducked her head and focused on eating for a while. "It hurt," she whispered.

"I know. I'm sorry." It hurt to know she hurt Kara. She might never forgive herself for her behavior, even with the reasons and justifications.

Kara shook her head. "I get it now. Hell, I think I got it then. It hurt, but then we got close and I felt really cool being close to you. Then, you left for college and it was weird again and it hurt again."

"I explained to you what that was about," Alex said. She did not want Kara to think she was abandoning her back then. They had already had problems when she had been made to move out of their shared bedroom. Kara had cried and raged, accused Alex of leaving her like everyone else. She never wanted Kara to think she was running away from her, leaving her behind, leaving her alone like so many others had done.

"I know, but it still felt weird and it still hurt to be without you. Because, in theory, I could've still saw you every day and we could've still hung out, but you know…" Kara shrugged a little.

Alex shook her head and cased the restaurant for what had to be the twentieth time. "Maybe we should talk about this at home. We can figure out what to do when J'onn comes over, too."

Kara nodded and they dropped the conversation for the moment. Once they were done eating, Alex bought Kara some cookies to go and then returned her to work. They shared a soft kiss in front of the building and then parted ways. Alex returned to work, finding Lucy in her office, flipping through a report.

"Do you need another ass-kicking?" Alex inquired.

"I don't know how, but you're cheating somehow," Lucy replied.

Alex scoffed. "You're just not as good as you think you are." Lucy was a force to be reckoned with for sure, but she was nothing like fist fighting with rogue aliens.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "You think way too highly of yourself."

"You're also a distraction for Vasquez."

Lucy stiffened. "What?"

"Oh, come on. You've noticed she fights a lot better when you're just watching rather than in on it. Making it worse, you know her instincts make her want to protect you, so she throws herself in front of you without thinking."

A soft smile settled on Lucy's face and her eyes became gentle. It was a look she often got on her face when Vasquez was involved. They were so in love with each other and it was impossible to hide. Alex hoped her relationship ended up something like theirs.

"Usually, stuff like that would bother me, but not with her because I know it's not coming from a place of arrogance or superiority. She just cares. She's a good alpha," Lucy said.

"She is."

"And a good friend?" Lucy leaned in, like that would help Alex admit it.

Alex let loose a snort. "We keep telling you, we're not friends."

"Yeah, which is why I'm here on both business and pleasure. We have to go through the details for the op and you're coming on a double-date with me and Vas."

"And why am I doing that?"

"Mostly for me to check in on your progress with Kara, but also for you and Vas to admit your friendship, dammit. You just had drinks together two nights ago."

Alex glanced away. "Yeah, because she wanted to know how to do that flip move and I wanted to know more about the updated communication system she's installing."

Lucy sighed and actually face-palmed. "I can't believe you two. I seriously can't. She said literally the same thing word for word. Did you two plan that?"

"No, why would we?"

Lucy threw up her hands. "Because there's no way in hell two people could be this ridiculous seriously!"

"Maybe you're the one being ridiculous. Anyway, I don't have time for a double-date right now. Kara and I are going to tell J'onn this weekend and then we'll probably tell my mom."

Lucy nodded. "Good plan. J'onn will be understanding."

"Does he know about you and Vasquez?"

"I made my intentions very clear to him before I ever asked Vasquez out."

"Of course you asked her out." Alex was not surprised by this, even though the rest of the world probably would have thought it was crazy for an omega to ask an alpha out.

"I am her superior. How would that look if she were to ask me out?"

Alex did not have an answer for that, as it did not seem right either way, but they worked, so whatever. Not wanting to end up putting her foot in her mouth, Alex steered the conversation to the operation. Work helped get her mind off the fact that she was going to have to tell her mother about her relationship soon. Soon, she would be dead.

-8-8-8-8-

Kara was home first, but she expected that since Alex texted her about some mission she had to help plan. She took care of dinner, picking up some of Alex's favorite things, wanting to help Alex relax when she came in. She also loaded Alex's favorite show onto the laptop and connected it to the television. She was all right with Alex having one beer, so she set one out. What else would help Alex relax?

Kara went and showered, putting on one of Alex's t-shirts and her shorts, no undergarments. The clothing was a little tight, but she did not care. She liked the feel of Alex's clothing on her, feeling Alex around her. Her hair was wet and she left her glasses on the coffee table. She then texted Alex, desiring to know when she would be home. Alex did not respond for a few minutes.

"I just got out of another meeting," Alex replied in the text.

Kara pouted. Alex would not be home for another half-hour then. Kara was tempted to start eating, but knew she would eat everything if she started now. That would not be helpful. So, she killed time by taking care of some work, making sure several things were in order for Miss Grant, especially after the mishap with the party. She got so into it, she missed Alex until the door opened and closed.

"Sorry I'm late. The last meeting wouldn't end." Alex let loose a long suffering groan.

"I don't mind. I got dinner," Kara replied, putting down her tablet.

"Cool." Alex wandered over to the sofa and stopped dead in her tracks. "Whoa."

Kara smiled. "You like?" She was not sure why she thought putting on Alex's clothes would be a good idea, but the look in Alex's eyes let her know this was a great idea. She would keep that in mind for later.

"You in my clothes? Fuck, yes." How Kara knew to do that would be a question for another time apparently. For now, Alex marched over to Kara and embraced her with a loving hug and kiss. Kara returned the show of affection and clung to Alex, hoping she could tell through the embrace that she was missed.

"You want to get comfy before we eat?" Kara asked.

"You'll be all right?"

Kara smiled. "Yeah, I've been handling some work. I can do that until you're done."

Alex nodded and was off. It seemed to take her forever, but also no time at all to return. As soon as she was on the couch, Kara snuggled into her. This was the best part of the day for Kara, being able to just cuddle into Alex without fear of crushing her, being able to feel her and be close, like a normal couple, be it on Earth or on Krypton. Alex kissed the top of her head as she put the tablet down for the second, probably final time tonight.

"Have I told you how much I like this?" Kara asked, arms around Alex's middle.

"Like what?" Alex leaned forward, inspecting the takeout containers.

"Cuddling up to you."

"You used to tell me all the time back at home, especially during storms."

Kara cringed. "Storms were the worst." There was always an overload of her senses and it so hard to deal with, overwhelming and her mind could never settle enough for her to calm down. They were still hard to deal with, but she learned. "I'm glad you were there or I'd have just cried the whole time."

"You did cry the whole time."

"Yeah, but I got to do it tucked against you and it helped more than you'll ever know. I always worried about holding onto you too tight. Now, I don't have to worry and it's so nice. I would stay like this forever if it was possible." It helped when Alex fed her some of the takeout. Yeah, this was the best ever, even better than sex. "This was one of those things I missed when you went to college. There would be storms and you… you weren't there." She held in a sniffle, not wanting to worry Alex. It was the past.

Alex pulled her closer and rubbed her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I thought you could handle it and you could."

"But, I didn't want to. A lot of the stuff that I learned to handle when you left, I didn't want to. I just wanted someone to be there for me, to not leave." Kara could not help sniffling now as her eyes stung with the threat of tears. She was always so alone and she hated it. It was like being eaten alive slowly from the inside, like having a creeping disease slowly killing her and she could feel each moment, each movement of it.

Alex cooed to comfort her. "I told you, Kara, I didn't leave you."

"I know, but you were still gone and I was still scared a lot. I was able to push through and I guess it was good because it helps me as Supergirl, but I still missed you so much." She gave Alex a squeeze. She never wanted to be without Alex now. Never.

Alex ran her fingers through Kara's hair. "I'm sorry, but it's good you learned to be independent. I had to learn the same thing. I was lost without you depending on me and the world was crashing around me without you or Dad. It was all so much. Too much really."

Kara blinked. "I never even thought about what you were probably going through when you left. How selfish am I?" Alex talked about how she crashed and burned on her own. Without J'onn, who knew what would have happened to Alex. "I should've been there for you, like you were there for me." I probably wouldn't have even known how to be there for Alex.

Alex laughed and fed her again. "You're more than allowed to be selfish, babe. I don't mind you being that way because you've been through so much. Be selfish with me whenever you want to. Take as much of me as you need, as you desire. It's all I want right now. You give so much to everyone. Please, take every now and then."

Kara's heart swelled. Alex was so sweet, which was why she did not want to take from Alex like everyone else did. She wanted to give and give and give. "But, I don't want to take from you. I want to give everything to you. I want to make your life as easy as possible."

Alex sighed. "I don't think my life was meant to be easy, but I'm happy whenever you're happy. So, if being selfish and getting what you want with me makes you happy, then it makes me happy."

Kara's brow furrowed. It made sense, but she did not like the idea of taking from Alex. She knew what it was like to have everything taken from her. She did not want to drain Alex like that, hollow Alex out like that. That was not an act of love. She loved Alex and wanted to fill her to the brim with love and affection, wanted Alex to overflow with her adoration.

"You know what would make me happy?" Kara asked.

"More food?"

Kara laughed. "Good guess, but no. I want a better pet name. 'Babe' is so generic. Anybody could be babe. Same with baby." She knew she could not argue with Alex about giving to her. She would have to learn to do it without Alex noticing.

Alex snickered. "Really? You don't even have a pet name for me, but you want a better one?"

That was true. Kara was not sure what she would like to call Alex. Alex was her everything. Was there a word to encompass that?

"You are my Brightest Star," Kara decided right there.

"Your brightest star?" Alex asked.

"Yes. It's part of the Kryptonian vows. You're my star, but so much beyond that. You shine with Rao, bring light to my world, and make it possible to navigate my world at night. My Brightest Star."

Alex blew out an exaggerated breath. "Okay, so I guess I'll start working on something beyond babe or baby."

Kara smiled and they began eating while also watching the show Kara loaded up. Well, it was more watching them. Kara was focused on the food and Alex seemed to be focused on her. As they ate, Alex could not keep her hands to herself. Kara liked the attention, but she also liked the feel of Alex's clothing on her and Alex pressing the clothes against her was all the better. She liked the idea of Alex enjoying her in her clothing. Soon, the food was gone, but the cuddles remained.

"What are we going to do about J'onn coming over?" Kara asked.

"We serve dinner and tell him. I don't see what else there is to do," Alex replied.

"How do we tell him?"

Alex was quiet for a moment. "Good question. Knowing you, you'll blurt out that you love me while I try to figure out the best way to say it."

"Well, I do love you. In every way possible."

"And I love you, but how do we explain that to J'onn?" Alex rubbed her chin. "We probably could just tell him that and he'll understand."

"Especially if you hold my hand while we say it."

Alex chuckled. "And I'll kiss your knuckles if necessary."

"Oh, I love that idea." She imagined Alex kissing her hand like in a movie. "He might also understand if I tell him you're my Brightest Star. He knows about Kryptonian culture. But, back to the hand holding thing because that's always good, but we haven't tried you kissing my knuckles. We might need to practice, so it doesn't seem awkward. Can you do it right now, actually? Oh, wait, no, can you do that and then we go to bed and make out a lot?"

"You certainly have a lot of requests." Alex took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

"Oh, that's just the start."

"Well, before we get to that, someone has to clean up out here."

Kara puffed out her cheeks, but they did have to clean up. Now would be a great time for super speed, but she had been under the red sunlights in the apartment for way too long at the time. It would be too much effort to recharge her powers, only to drain them again, so she could sleep with Alex.

They cleaned up together, mostly having to throw things out. Kara grabbed the laptop before going into the bedroom. It was not so late they might not stay up to watch something. As she put down the laptop on the nightstand, Alex came up behind her, kissing her on the neck.

"I hope you're not trying to watch more porn," Alex said, hands wandering Kara's abdomen.

Kara sighed, reaching behind her to caress Alex's cheek. "No. Just in case we wanna catch up on a show after."

"I promise you, you will want to fall into a deep sleep after I'm done with you."

Kara groaned at the thought, at the vow. She had no doubt Alex would keep that promise and she looked forward to it. She pushed back against Alex, the curve of her ass hitting just a little high for Alex. Alex did not seem to mind, hands working under Kara's shirt. Kara hissed as pleasant jolts went through her already, skin itching for more of Alex's touch.

"You feel so good to me, Alex," Kara said.

Alex responded by nipping Kara's neck. Kara moaned and took Alex's hand, easing it down into her shorts. But, she did not get what she was trying for. Alex moved her hand, making Kara whine. The hand traveled to her bare thigh, caressing the area like a pet. Kara wanted to melt.

"You're not wearing underwear," Alex said, voice a whisper in Kara's ear.

"Maybe never again," Kara replied. At least not at home.

Alex groaned and slipped her hand into the shorts from the bottom rather from the top. Kara fell against Alex, not surprised Alex kept her on her feet. She felt a single fingertip ease through her warmth. The angle was odd, so it was hard to buck against Alex's finger, showing she wanted more. She whined.

"I thought… I thought you wanted to give me everything I wanted," Kara said.

"In due time, ba… beloved."

"Better, but not great."

Alex growled and she gave Kara more, as planned. Kara sighed as Alex's middle finger slid inside of her. She clutched Alex's neck and Alex gave her breast a good squeeze. Then, there was a twist to her nipple and Kara was not sure how she managed to stay on her feet without knocking Alex over. She had to be dripping down Alex's hand now. She was definitely rippling around her finger. Lips on her neck added to the sensation, reminding of the bite mark from before, and before she knew it, she came apart right in Alex's hands. Kara panted as Alex's movement slowed, but her lips remained on Kara's neck and her fingers flicked a nipple.

"I need you. I need you. I need you," Kara said, shoving her shorts down to her ankles. She then grabbed for Alex's shorts, pushing them down as well.

"I got you." Alex gave her ass a pat, which made her want to bend over. Kara was not sure why that was, but it did not matter as she gave into the impulse. She was in the perfect position to receive Alex.

Kara cried out, throwing her head back as Alex slid through her wetness. The cry turned into a pleasured scream as Alex pushed inside. Oh, Rao. Oh, Roa. Oh, Rao. Her body was ablaze and she clutched the bedspread, backing up into Alex.

"This never gets old," Kara said, letting a long breath out into the mattress.

"No, it doesn't." Alex ran her hands along Kara's back before grabbing her hips and going to town, pounding right into Kara oh, so perfectly. It was not exactly rough, but it was not as gentle as Alex tended to be.

Kara twisted and turned into the mattress, moaning and groaning as Alex made her body sing. Alex was so perfect. This was perfect. And then Alex reached between her legs and made things even more perfect.

"Fuck…" Kara sobbed and reached back, needing to hold some part of Alex as she was dragged into a sea of elation. Once there was flesh firmly in her hand, Kara felt safe in letting go and climaxed right there, drowning in bliss.

"You have such a filthy mouth," Alex said before dropping down to place kisses to Kara's shoulders. "Let me know when you can move because you need to get on the bed."

Kara could only make a noise. Words were hard. Moving was even harder and she only wanted to lie there, enjoying the feel of Alex. Then, Alex pulled out, earning another whine. Alex lifted Kara up, just enough to get her on the bed. Kara put her arms out, wanting Alex against her. Alex fell into her arms while her legs fell open, entreating Alex for more.

Alex reached between them and moaned as she slid through Kara's passion before she pushed inside once more. Kara threw her head back again as Alex settled and pumped, causing a rush of ecstasy through Kara. Alex leaned down, kissing Kara as she moved her hips, sparking the feeling higher and higher with each thrust. Kara moaned into Alex's mouth, but did not break their kiss. Kara wrapped her legs around Alex, moving with her, yanking her closer. Alex shifted, changing the angle a bit, hitting new spaces inside of Kara, fanning ever higher flames. Alex managed to move her hand to palm, mold, and caress Kara's breast, igniting new pleasure. Kara was certain this was what it felt like to touch the sun, having Alex so close. The idea was enough to push Kara over the edge once more and this time Alex followed her with the best groan.

"I love that sound," Kara said.

"Hmmm?"

"The sound you make when you come."

A different type of groan escaped Alex. "Who taught you that word?" The question was asked as Alex settled against her and nuzzled her neck. She could feel light kisses to her throat, each press sending sparks down her nerves. The ghost of a mark still managing to haunt her and she hoped that would be the case until the mark was replaced.

Kara laughed. "Porn." This was not true, but she knew it would bug Alex.

Alex made a groused noise into her skin, which was fine. Alex fell asleep before her knot went down. Kara stayed awake, caressing Alex's back, tracing her muscles and scars, memorizing the plane of her back. This was peace and Kara had not realized what peace truly was until she could be with Alex like this. It was like being able to carry a bit of Alex inside of her, easing an anxiety, chasing away loneliness, and promising companionship. It warded off the seeping disease of being alone. She knew if she allowed it, Alex would give her everything and she tried not to feel guilty over that.

"I want to give you everything as well. I'm not sure how, but I want to," Kara said. She would work on it. Maybe even ask J'onn, as long as it went well when they told him.

-8-8-8-8-

Alex and Kara did not make it a point to use the dining room table, but Alex found herself setting it now. J'onn was due in less than thirty minutes. Kara was cleaning up around the apartment, which she had been doing all day. Kara did not seem to think anything was clean enough and Alex knew it was from nervousness. She did not understand why Kara was nervous, though.

"Kara, it's only J'onn," Alex said as she plated the food they ordered.

Kara looked at her with big, sorrowful blue eyes. "It's not only J'onn. His opinion matters so much to you, so I want everything to go right and for him to give us his blessing. I want him to be happy for you."

Alex moved and took Kara's hand. "He will be and even if he's not, that's not going to make me stop seeing you. I love you." She leaned in, giving Kara a kiss that she hoped held all of her affection for the woman before her.

Kara pressed against her, deepening the kiss. A knock at the door caused them to break apart. Alex caressed Kara's cheek before going to get the door. J'onn stood before her.

"J'onn, thanks for coming," Alex said.

"I brought wine," he replied with a smile, holding up his bounty.

"You didn't need to, but thanks."

They all went to sit down, opened J'onn's wine, and began eating. They discussed things going on at the DEO for half the meal, but eventually that died down. J'onn looked at the two of them and Alex knew this was the time.

"You invited me here for a reason, Alex," J'onn said.

"I did. Well, we did." Alex motioned to herself and Kara before reaching over for Kara's hand. "I thought… we thought… well, you should know. We're together, like a couple. We're together and in love."

"Like married couple in love," Kara added.

J'onn grunted and nodded. Alex was not sure what that meant and the fact that his expression did not change did not help. Kara squeezed her hand, enough to hurt a little since they did not have the red sunlamps on.

"How long have you been together?" he asked.

"A couple of months," Alex answered.

He nodded and he looked between them. "It makes sense, I suppose."

"Did you know?" Kara asked.

"I did not, but it makes sense. Your devotion to each other is deeper than many relationships I've seen and I've been alive for over three hundred years," he replied.

"Are you okay with it?" Alex asked, surprised by the lump in her throat.

"We can still work together, right?" Kara chimed in.

"I don't see why you wouldn't be able to work together. First off, it's not like I would realistically be able to stop you without killing one of you. Your bond has always been more than anything anyone could stand between. I don't see how adding to your relationship changes anything, unless you plan to make out in the middle of a fight," J'onn said.

"Uh, of course not," Alex said, holding in a cringe. She had no plans of being anything but professional during work hours. "I would never."

"Then, I don't see how this changes anything. Your relationship has always been an asset. Why should it not be the same now?" he countered with a shrug.

"Were you expecting this?" Kara asked.

"No. I've never actually tried to categorize your emotions for each other or your bond. It always seemed like something beyond my understanding and I've always respected that. I think the closest I've ever considered for you were soul-mates," he answered.

"So, you didn't think of us as sisters?" Alex asked. It would not surprise her since he was one of the few people who knew Kara was not human, but they had carried the "sister" label for long, it was hard to believe someone did not buy into it.

He shook his head and sipped his wine. "No. It's never occurred to me. I might refer to you two as such, but it's more because that's what you call each other. Knowing you didn't come into contact with each other until you were teens, knowing Kara is from another planet, it's always colored my perception of you and your bond. It's always made me wonder. How did you get so close? Where did this bond come from? The only answer I ever had was soul-mates."

Kara tilted her head to the side a little. "So, you see us as soul-mates?" Her eyes seemed to sparkle a bit.

"I think that's the best way I could describe it. I look at it as if you two were stranded alone somewhere, you'd be able to survive because of each other, but you'd also be able to readjust to society when you got back because of each other. You'd keep each other sane in every situation, keep each other safe in every situation, and you'd never feel like you were alone as long as the other is somewhere out there. You both know if something happened to the other, you wouldn't stop fighting until you were back together. You bring out the best in each other and try to regulate the worse," he said.

"It hasn't always been like that," Alex said. "In fact, it might have only gotten like that recently."

Kara shook her head. "I don't think so. I think it's always been underneath our skin, even when we're apart, even before we opened up to each other."

Alex was not sure, but she knew one thing for certain. "There's always been something."

"And there probably always will be something," J'onn said. "You two took a small seed and now it's grown into a mighty tree. It's on its way to being one of those giant redwoods and soon it'll be beyond those." He clapped his hands and then held up a finger. "That's what it is. You two are the stuff of legends."

Kara blushed and Alex chuckled, waving that off. "I wouldn't say that much." Of course, it did not stop Alex from sitting up a little taller.

J'onn shook his head and leaned forward, invested in a way that Alex enjoyed. He cared so much about them. "There are Martian fairy tales that tell stories similar to you two. Epic heroes who save the world and each other. There were myths like you, adopted siblings, one of the gods and one of mortals and still equal as heroes."

"And lovers?" Kara asked.

He nodded. "And lovers in some cases. Also, same sex if that's an issue."

"Mars sounds way more advanced than here, then," Alex said.

"Are we same sex on Earth?" Kara asked.

Alex groaned. "Ah, geez." She would prefer Kara to not being sexually philosophical around J'onn.

"I'm just saying, technically on Krypton, you wouldn't be considered the same sex as me. Same gender maybe, but not sex," Kara replied. "But, it wouldn't really matter since Kryptonians stopped reproducing through sex decades earlier."

"Then, why does it matter?" Alex asked.

"It doesn't." Kara smiled at her.

"Have you two told anyone else?" J'onn asked.

"Just friends, the core group that knows I'm Supergirl. We're going to tell Alex's mom soon," Kara replied.

J'onn nodded. "Everyone took it fine, I gather?"

"Yeah. It was good, which is why we figured we'd tell you," Alex said.

He nodded again. "I'm glad you hold me in such regard to let me know."

"Honestly, I thought you knew already. At least knew I was in love with Kara," Alex admitted.

"At no point in time did I suspect a romantic aspect to your relationship. I always considered your bond something beyond my understanding. Because, as much as I loved my wife and my daughters, I never had a peer that I felt so strongly for like you two do with each other. I didn't know what to make of it. I accepted it because I had enough Martian history and literature to at least equate it to something," J'onn replied.

"That's really cool," Kara said.

"So. We're fine?" Alex asked, needing to be sure.

"Yes, it's fine. Again, I couldn't stop you if I wanted to, anyway. But, I don't want to. I respect your relationship and your bond. It's not going to change anything at the office, is it? No mushy talk or giggling, right?" he inquired.

"Of course not!" Alex sat up straighter, earning a laugh from Kara. She shot Kara a glare, but continued to sit at attention.

"It hasn't changed anything and it won't," Kara replied.

He nodded and smiled at them. "Then, I wish you both the best. I hope your story doesn't end in tragedy, as was the Martian tradition."

Alex winced, but kept in that she felt this could only end in tragedy, even if she survived this issue of telling her mother. One day, Kara would alone, or at least without her. Alex was not sure how long Martians lived, but hopefully, J'onn had a long life ahead of him and he would be there for Kara. It was not like she could count on Clark, the big idiot.

"So, do you have any plans for the future?" J'onn asked.

"We've spoke about bonding traditions for both of us, but nothing too deep yet. This aspect of our relationship is still new and we're still navigating it a bit," Alex answered.

"I'm still trying to get familiar with human sexual behavior," Kara added.

Alex was horrified. "Kara, he doesn't need to know that!"

He laughed and held up a hand. "I don't. Again, I wish you both the best in this new aspect of your relationship. As long as it doesn't interfere with anything at the DEO, I don't have a problem with it. I suspect it'll get in the way just like when you saw each other as sisters, but I'm used to that."

Alex could not dispute that. Whenever Kara was involved, things would always be messy with her, regardless of what their label was. But, at least J'onn understood that. Maybe more than she ever gave him credit for. Hell, maybe more than she gave herself credit for.

The rest of the night was normal. They talked, Kara and Alex wanting to know more Martian fairy tales and J'onn seemed more than happy to share. They had dessert and then J'onn left. They cleaned up and settled on the couch for some television. Kara laid in Alex's lap and Alex busied herself by running her fingers through Kara's hair.

"So… all that's left is to tell your mom," Kara said.

"Yeah." Alex's heart went into her feet immediately. It felt like her insides shriveled up and maybe she would not survive even the thought of telling her mother.

"I know it scares you—" Kara started.

"Let's do it next weekend." Might as well jump in front of that bullet now. If she survived, they could get on with lives and if not, Kara would not have too many memories of this time together to hurt her.

Kara stared at her. "Are you sure?"

"No." Honestly, whenever it came to her mother, the longer she could keep something from her, the better, but she knew Kara did not live by that same philosophy. Who was she to drag Kara into her dysfunction?

"I don't want you to do something you don't want to."

"We're going to have to do it eventually. Beyond that, we should do it sooner rather than later as it'll only get worse if she finds out from someone else." Alex was already certain her mother was going to skin her and roast her for this relationship, but if she learned about it from another source, flayed and cooked would sound like paradise. Either way, you're dead.

"You look like you're going to throw up, though."

"I'm sure I do." In fact, she might actually vomit, if not now then when they went to tell her mother. "Still, we have to do it."

Kara sighed. "Is there anything I can say to make this better?"

"No." Alex could use the week to treat Kara, as she needed Kara to understand how she felt and how special she thought Kara was. She could also plan for her death whatever day her mother was free. She could already hear her mother scolding her, judging her, condemning her for taking advantage of her sister. Each imagined word, gesture, look already poisoned her blood, melted her veins, and stabbed her resolve, her will.

"Alex."

"Huh?"

"Come back to me."

"Huh?" Alex stroked Kara's hair. "I'm right here."

"You're a million miles away here." Kara reached up and placed her finger to Alex's forehead. "Are you sure you want to do this? We don't have to."

Alex sighed. "Yes, we do." Mentally, she already went through why they would have to do it.

Kara sat up and gave Alex a gentle kiss to her mouth. It was meant to soothe and it did in a way, but now Alex would have this ball of anxiety in her belly. She would start her own destruction before they even made it her mother. The ball of anxiety would grow and she would shrink, turning into an insignificant bug for her mother to squish. It was probably a long time coming anyway. Maybe it was inevitable. Either way, it was coming.

-8-8-8-8-

Kara could tell Alex was upset with the idea that come Friday night, they would tell Eliza about their relationship, but she did not know how to help Alex. Words did nothing. Alex's behavior was a little strange now as well. Monday, they had lunch together, which was not odd, but then Alex came to pick her up after work, which was not the norm. Now, there was a giant bouquet of flowers being left on her desk.

"Oh, wow. Those are so beautiful," Crystal cooed from across the way, hands pressed together against her mouth.

"Damn it," Kara hissed. Alex was going to get her in trouble. She had no place to put this monstrosity to get it out of the way before Miss Grant saw it.

"Somebody is loved," Meghan remarked.

Winn wandered over and winced. "Wow. Is this an apology bouquet? Because, if so, what the heck did Alex do? It had to be super bad."

"She didn't do anything and I hope that wasn't a reference to my awesome song and dance." Kara tried to glare at Winn as he laughed, but it did not stop him. She grabbed the card and read it, I just wanted you to know I love you. It was hard to be angry with Alex over that, but this was still a huge issue. She blew out a breath. "Okay, you know what, no one make a big deal out of this. If we all pretend it's not here, Miss Grant might not say anything."

Thankfully, everyone around her was kind enough to do just that. They all went about their business, working. Kara glanced inside Cat's office to see her staring at the flowers. Kara was about to fumble with her glasses, but instead, turned her attention to her computer and went right back to work. This happened to work. Cat did not say anything about the flowers until Kara had to step into her office to go over a few things. That went smooth, but Cat could not let the bouquet go.

"Tell your girlfriend a bouquet that big is trying too hard unless she's planning to show up and propose right after it's delivered," Cat said.

Kara pushed up her glasses. "Uh, yeah. I'll definitely tell her that one." She agreed, actually. The bouquet was too much. She rushed out to finish up her work.

At the end of the day, Alex was there to pick her up again. This time with an SUV that she probably borrowed from the DEO, so they had something to haul the flowers in. Kara liked the attention, but something was wrong. She took Alex's hand and felt how hard Alex tried to squeeze, like she never wanted to let go, like she was afraid to let go.

"Alex, we're okay, right?" Kara asked as Alex opened the door for her, like she had seen in movies.

"Of course we are. Why would you even ask?" Alex smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. In fact, it looked like it hurt her face.

Kara did not get a chance to respond to that as Winn popped up. "Hey, Alex. Just so you know, everyone went gaga over the flowers you sent Kara. Very nice." He gave Alex two thumbs up.

Alex smiled. "I just wanted to let her know I was thinking of her and she's special."

"Cat didn't even say anything about it. So, it was really good."

"I'm glad."

And just like that Kara could not address the issue with the flowers. Alex was proud of herself and Winn made it seem like an awesome thing. The muffin basket that came the next day was more awesome and easier to conceal, but definitely a sign that something was wrong. Alex should know better than to send her things at work like this. Beyond the obvious attention, she was tempted to eat all the muffins. This could not continue.

"Alex," Kara said as they settled into a booth in a cafe not too far from the CatCo building for lunch.

"Yes?" Alex reached across the table and took her hand, stroking the back with her thumb. This was something Alex had taken to doing the past couple of days as well and Kara could get used to it.

"As much as I appreciate it, I need you to stop sending me stuff at work. I'm going to get in trouble," Kara pointed out. Not to mention made fun of. "And it draws attention to me, which we both know isn't a good thing."

Alex straightened. "You're right. That's not very smart of me. I just wanted you and everyone else to know you're loved. I'll stop."

"Why are you doing it?"

"I just want you to know I love you."

Kara smiled. "I do know. You don't need to send stuff to work for me to know that."

"Still, I hear romantic gestures are good."

"Well, that's true, but still not at work." Besides, she knew there was something more to these gestures than just romance.

Alex propped her hands up on the table, palms forward. "No, I will definitely stop. I don't want to draw any unnecessary attention to you. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

Kara nodded. It was clear Alex had not thought that through, but why? It was not like Alex to do things like that. There had to be more to it than that.

"Alex, are you okay?" Kara asked.

"I am. It'll be fine," Alex answered too quickly.

"What will be fine? Is it work?" There was a mission lined up and Alex had helped plan a good portion of it. Could that be bothering her?

"No, no, no. I already declined the mission since we have to see Mom on Friday."

"Is that it?"

Alex glanced away. "It'll fine."

"Of course it will." Kara gave her hand a light squeeze. "If it's not fine, we can leave. I'll talk to Eliza. Hell, I'll take all the blame if necessary." Eliza was hard on Alex, that was no secret, but she did not want Alex to let that drive her crazy before they even made it to Midvale.

"It's not about taking the blame, Kara. She's going to assign blame, to me. It would be fine if only I know this is the thing that'll make her rain down fire and brimstone on me. She moved me in a different room to protect you, Kara. She took me out of my space for you."

Kara swallowed. It never occurred to her how hard that had to be for Alex. It was one thing when they were sharing a room, for Alex to have to share her space with this stranger, this alien in every sense of the word. But, then when Alex was moved out, like it had not been her room originally, like it had not been her house originally. Alex probably felt like she was the one who had been adopted and not in a good way. It was like Alex was the outsider.

"I know your mom hurt you with some of her decisions, but she can't make decisions for you anymore. She can't hurt you anymore," Kara said.

Alex shook her head. "Everything she does can always hurt me, everything she says can hurt me. Decisions your mother made for you decades ago still hurt."

Kara could not call her a liar there. This was going to be a mess and there was no way to prevent that. She just had to be there for Alex and hope they could pick up the pieces when it all came down. Maybe Eliza had learned from the Supergirl coming out incident how to deal with Alex.

"It'll be okay," Kara found herself saying. What else could she say?

After lunch, Alex returned Kara to her job and left. Kara did not stay put, having an errand to run anyway. Before she got to that, she went to the DEO, going to J'onn's office. She was in her uniform, just in case someone came in while she was there.

"Can I help you with something, Supergirl?" J'onn asked without looking up from his paperwork.

"We're going to tell Eliza about us in two days and I think Alex is making plans for her own funeral. You've known Eliza for a long time and noticed her relationship with Alex. Is there any way I can make this painless for both of them?" Kara paced in front of the desk, speaking a mile a minute, moving her hands around.

J'onn capped his pen and watched her for a long moment. "I think you have to let them work things out on their own. With Alex and her mother, there will always be issues. Yes, some of those issues stem from you, but many of them go deeper than that and eventually they will have to examine that."

Kara frowned. "Deeper? Like how? Like Eliza wanted another kid deeper or what?"

"No, not like that. Just from observing the two together and knowing what Alex has gone through, Eliza has to eventually come to terms with her parental decisions."

"What if she never does?"

"Then she'll lose her daughter eventually and there's no way she'll let that happen. She's already lost enough with Jeremiah. You have to let them work out their differences, though. I know it's awkward because you're there and you're part of it, but it's their issues."

Kara's frown deepened. "There's nothing I can do?"

"Be there for both of them when things go awry."

"How can I be there for both of them? They'll think I'm choosing sides."

"Do they ever think that?"

"Well, no. They're weirdly evolved with that." Kara sighed, shoulders dropping. "I can't do anything else? I want to help mend their relationship."

"They have to start first. Just be there for them. Remind Alex her mother isn't trying to hurt her. Maybe remind Eliza her words have power, both to hurt and heal."

Kara nodded, hating that was the best advice she probably could get. "Okay. Thanks. You really think everything will be all right?"

"I think Eliza doesn't want to lose her daughter. I also don't think Alex wants to lose her mother. They'll do what they can. You can ward off any pain that might force them apart and give them time to talk."

Kara was not sure about that, but she did not have anything beyond that. So, she took it and ran with it. Bidding J'onn farewell, she went back to work.

-8-8-8-8-

It took all of Alex's self-control to not reach for liquor the second they entered her childhood home. Her mother hugged both her and Kara before leading them into the kitchen where dinner was prepared. Alex resisted the urge to throw herself in a chair and also kept from vomiting, which she had to credit to agent training. Kara smiled at her and took her hand.

"Dinner's almost done. I forgot how much I had to cook for Kara, so there were a few last minute additions," Eliza said with a smile.

"You want us to help you start taking stuff out?" Alex asked. Something to do would keep her from letting her anxiety grow out of control. She already felt like her chest was impossibly tight and breathing was a chore. She would suffocate to death without anything even being around her throat.

"No, no, no. I've got it. You girls relax for a second. I'm sure it was a tiring drive," Eliza said.

It was not great driving home right after work, but it was a thing Alex had done, as she did not trust Kara to drive. Kara liked going fast and did not understand the car might not react in time to things, even with her super-reflexes. Alex and Kara went into the dining room and Alex hoped being out of sight of her mother helped ease the tension in her chest. While Eliza finished up in the kitchen, Alex took a few deep breaths. Kara took her hand in both of hers and kissed her knuckles.

"It'll be fine. It'll be fine," Kara said.

Alex wanted to believe that, but this was the most impending of impending dooms she had ever felt, including when Kara was ready to sacrifice herself for the Earth. Eliza came back out, food in hand. She noticed Kara holding Alex's hands and narrowed her gaze, but did not say anything. It was not until everything was out and Eliza was seated that she had questions, and comments undoubtedly.

"So, what brings you two by? Is everything all right?" Eliza inquired.

"Everything's fine," Kara practically chirped, eyes wide and smile wider. She really was terrible at lying if a person knew what to look for.

"That's why you haven't let go of Alex's hand since you two sat down. What's wrong? You can tell me anything," Eliza said, eyes on Alex.

Alex wanted to call bullshit on that, but could see the worry in her mother's eyes. Right now, Eliza did not suspect the worst in the sense that she knew what Alex had done to Kara. Right now, Eliza suspected the worst in the sense that she was concerned something could be wrong with her daughter. Well, time to wipe that emotion off of the face of the Earth.

"I'm dating Kara. Well, we're dating each other," Alex said, using every ounce of her training to keep her mother's gaze and not throw up. Mentally, she high-fived herself for keeping it together during her greatest fear. After this, she would go drown in booze, though. Uh, no, that's how you end up in the hospital, probably dead from alcohol poisoning during a maybe-suicide episode.

"We're in love!" Kara grinned, as if that would help.

"Alex," her mother said the name with that measured disappointment Alex was all too familiar with. It would only get worse each time she said it now until it reached a level where Alex was certain her name actually translated to "you're the worst thing I've ever done in life and I hate your existence."

"Eventually, we're going to mate and have a bonding ceremony," Alex said. Well, it was the plan. Now, she would probably die at the dinner table, not having eaten a thing, so not even respected enough for a last meal.

"Alex, are you sleeping with your sister?" Eliza inquired, scowl in place, eyes hard. She did not look disgusted or even disappointed. She looked furious, like if she could, she would slap Alex from across the table. Good thing her arm was not that long and she was too angry to remember she could move.

"I am sleeping with Kara. I'm in love with Kara," Alex replied. Everyone else understood that. Hell, J'onn compared them to legends rather than condemn them.

"We're in love," Kara said, maybe as a correction, maybe to try to take the heat off of Alex. There was no taking the heat off, though. Her mother did not even seem to register Kara said anything.

"She's your sister, Alex!" Eliza glared at her even harder, like Alex was an enemy.

Oddly enough, Alex felt calm for once in the wake of her mother's fury, being looked at as if she was a foe. She was used to things like that, faced foes every day. Maybe she was even a little numb to it, numb to her mother's words, her anger. Kara was not her sister. People knew about them and accepted the relationship as something good for them, not something wrong. This was not wrong and she needed to be sitting across someone who thought it was to finally realize that. She sat up straight and looked her mother dead in the eye. This was not wrong.

"Kara isn't my sister. Kara is so much more than that. Hell, there aren't words," Alex replied. She could not think of anything to cover the emotions she felt for Kara. If she could pull them out of herself and lay them out, they would span wider than the universe itself.

"Soul mates?" Kara chimed in. Apparently, she liked that term. Perhaps it was the best one.

"You took advantage of her, Alex! You know Kara doesn't know any better!" Eliza was on her feet now, glowering, practically breathing fire. "You're supposed to protect her and you've used that against her!"

"How?" Alex screamed, climbing to her feet as well. "How the hell did I take advantage of her? Kara knows if she's in love or not."

"Kara could easily confuse her emotions for you for love. Hell, you could do the same! You both are always together, always under each other, so you don't know how you feel!"

"We're not always under each other. There were years in between when we hardly saw each other, barely spoke to each other, which I'm sure made you happy. That's done and gone, though. We know how we feel. Why can't you just be supportive?" Alex replied.

"Of you being a degenerate? You're supposed to protect Kara and you're taking advantage of your position in her life. You might not be doing it on purpose, but you are."

Alex's mouth trembled and she realized it was not in anger. Sorrow had welled up in her before she realized it. Her mother hit her harder than an enemy could hope to, downed her quickly, but she was not out. Her eyes burned, tears threatening to overtake her. A squeeze from Kara's hand kept everything at bay. She took a breath, steeling herself, shutting down the desire to cry, shutting off the hurt from her mother thinking the worst of her. She would fight back.

"You've always thought the worst of me, thought little of me, tried to break me with a few well placed words and looks. I didn't expect it to be any different right now, but I'm different now. I'm stronger. So, I'll just say this, Kara is not my sister. She and I aren't sisters and we never were. Like I said, we're so much more and if you think I'm a degenerate, a horrible person, someone who took advantage of Kara, then so be it. Anything else you want to level at me? Might as well let go with both barrels. I'd say let me know how disappointed you are in me, but I guess that comes with the territory of being a degenerate. So, maybe just disown me right now and get it over with," Alex said with a shrug. It was not so much that she did not care, but she was exhausted. Why keep fighting her mother? Why have a mother?

Kara's eyes went wide and she tensed, her hand almost crushing Alex's. Alex knew what it was about, beyond her relationship with Eliza. Kara had lost her mother, had not had a chance with her and here Alex was throwing hers away. Well, she doubted Alura spent Kara's life making her feel unworthy of her own name and bloodline. Kara did not have to worry about Alura thinking she might harm a guest, did not have to hurt over the fact that Alura did not check on her, and did not agonize over the fact that Alura did not seem interested in her life at all.

Eliza blinked and paused. "Disown you?"

"Yes. Isn't that what this has always been about anyway? I've always been unworthy of being your daughter. I've always been second best and that's out of a choice of two." Alex did not even want to think of what would have happened if there were other choices. She probably would have had to live under the stairs.

"Alex, that's not…" Her mother's voice faltered and she raised a trembling hand briefly.

Alex scoffed. "Oh, please. I've known for a long time that you don't want me. Maybe you never wanted me."

"Why would you even think that?"

"How could I not?" Alex shouted for the world to hear and then laughed as she covered her face with her hand for a second. "When was the last time I did anything that was good enough for you? When was the last time you even acknowledged something I did? Even when you call me on the phone, you're only checking on Kara. I get it. You feel responsible her. Hell, you are responsible for her and her wellbeing and that's a big thing. But, it's your everything and apparently that's fine for you, but for her to be my everything, then it's a problem."

"Alex…" This time the name was whispered, quivering, almost like it could crumble in the air. Alex did not have a category for this sound.

"Maybe I should just…" Kara practically vanished.

"You really think I want to disown you?" her mother asked.

"Why wouldn't I think that? When was the last time I did something you were remotely happy with? I come in here and tell you I'm in a relationship with Kara and you don't even ask how it makes me feel. You jump right into what a horrible person I am. You never miss a chance to remind me I'm practically Satan," Alex replied. It would have been an exaggeration were it not for this moment.

Her mother frowned, but it was different from before, like there was a bad taste in her mouth. "I don't think that, Alex. You're my daughter."

Alex folded her arms across her chest. "Poor you, right?"

Eliza flinched. "It's not like that. I just… I worry."

"About Kara."

Her mother glanced away and put her hand on the back of a chair. "Well, yes. I worry about Kara. I've taken that child under my wing and into my house. So many bad things could happen to her because of all the ways she's different and so many bad things have already happened to her. I have to worry about her, but I worry about you, too."

Alex snorted, throwing her head to the side a little. "Oh, yeah? You don't know anything about me beyond your assumptions and you don't care."

"Of course I care. You're my daughter."

"Yeah, the one you didn't want."

Her mother shook her head. "I can't believe you think that. Why would you think that?"

"What else am I supposed to think? Tell me the last time you were proud of something I did. Something I did on my own, not connected to Kara." Alex was not surprised by the silence. "Now, tell me every horrible thing I've done, connected to Kara or not. You can start with this and then go all the way back to when you thought I'd fucking rape Kara or some other bullshit when I presented."

Eliza's body jumped and she put her a hand to her chest. "I never thought you were going to rape Kara!"

"Oh, please, Mom! You moved me out of my own goddamn room almost the second I presented and pressed a bottle of prescription grade suppressants into my palm right after! I didn't even have to go to the doctor for them. You just got them for me and made sure I always had tons of them. I took all of my fucking suppressants one day and you couldn't even be bothered beyond your goddamn disappointment! And, best of all, your favorite line, 'protect your sister, Alex. Watch out for your sister, Alex. Make sure your sister is okay, Alex.' Why not just say 'fuck your life, Alex'? It would've been more honest," Alex said.

"Alex, what makes you think I don't care about you?"

Alex blew out a breath and touched her forehead for a second. "Uh, literally my entire life since Kara showed up! Everything you've ever said to me centers around her. And ever since I presented, you've made sure I understood perfectly well that she's an innocent who needs to be protected, especially from me, and I'm awful whenever I look at her in a less than sisterly manner. I got it. Don't worry. I got it."

Eliza squinted as she studied Alex, like she thought Alex was out of her mind. "Alex, you're wrong. Okay, yes, maybe I should pay more attention to your achievements. I just… worry about losing Kara. I worry about something happening to her just because she's not from here and she's lost everything. She doesn't deserve that, so it's always at the forefront of my mind. It's been even worse since your father's death and I'm sorry for that." Her mother's eyes glistened, like she was genuinely sad and maybe she was. It was easy to be sad when her father's death came up.

Alex let loose another snort as she folded her arms across her chest. "All you worry about is Kara and you always think the worst of me, especially when it comes to her." Nothing her mother said could negate the evidence piled up over the years.

"That's not true."

Alex tilted her chin up. "You know what, we're both scientists. So, let's examine the evidence. Let's make it easy and we'll go with big things, starting with me presenting as an alpha. Again, the first thing you did was usher me out of my own room to protect your precious Kara. Despite all the shit I've done for Kara, you actually thought I'd try to hurt her. You think you take care of Kara? I take care of Kara!" She pointed to herself.

"I didn't move you out because I thought you would hurt Kara."

"Oh, really?" What nonsense would her mother spout to make this something other than it was?

"I moved you out to protect you from her."

For a long moment, Alex could have been felled with a feather. Of all the things her mother could say, that was the excuse she was going with? "Nice try, Mom. I don't need protecting from Kara and I never have. I'm the big bad alpha and you'd know, right? You'd know how horrible I could probably be, right?"

Eliza took a breath and shifted from foot to foot for a moment. "I didn't think you would be horrible. I'm an alpha. I know what we're like."

"Yeah, you thought I was the worst of the worst. You thought I'd be some asshole who took what I wanted from Kara, like I could even do that!" Alex flung her hand out, motioning to the ceiling. Still, it hurt and it hurt deep because her mother was an alpha. Her mother should have known what she was like, but instead treated her like one of the most negative stereotypes of an alpha there was. Her mother acted like she was not to be trusted around someone with a vagina.

Eliza shook her head. "Yes, I saw how you looked at Kara and how she looked at you. When you presented as an alpha, I thought this was set up for heartbreak for you. I believed Kara would eventually become very well adjusted to Earth life, like any teenager, and she'd want to experience so much of the world beyond our little section of the Earth. I could see you loved her, but I wasn't sure it would last and I knew it would break your heart. I knew for a fact it would crush you when you took all of those suppressants. Kara had such a powerful hold on you."

Alex paced a couple of steps in each direction before she put her hand back to her forehead and regarded her mother. "So, everything you did was protect me? That's why you didn't say anything about me almost killing myself? That's why you moved me into Dad's study for my new room?" I expected a lot of bullshit, but the lies? Not expected. It helped her build even more armor to withstand her mother.

"I put you there because I thought it would help you deal with his death. You always liked to be surrounded by his things. You always liked his office."

Alex took a deep breath to control herself. "Did you put me there to protect me from Kara or did you put me there to let me be around Dad's stuff right after he died? Which is it?" She could not believe her mother could tell her these lies.

Eliza held up her hands in surrender, as if that would calm the situation. "Both. I thought you needed a different space from her and your father's study was open. I thought it would do you good to be around his stuff. You loved his books and his journals. You have so much history with that room, staying up late with him, plotting as you two used to call it."

Alex hated the warmth that spread through her thinking about her father when she was younger. He liked using the words "plotting" and "scheming" whenever they were up to something. If they were just going to build a pillow fort, they had to devise a plot on how to design it. If they planned to walk to the beach at night to view the sky, they were scheming on staying up late or getting out of chores. Even when she got older, if they were going to build a model together, it was still a plot on putting it together. Most of their plots and schemes were born in his office, whispered or doodled on scraps of paper.

"You didn't even talk to me about his death. You just shoved me in his room," Alex said. "I was haunted by him." He was everywhere in that room. A tear slid down Alex's face. "I couldn't look anywhere or go anywhere in there without thinking about him, remembering him, feeling him, but not really, and knowing I would never see him again. I couldn't deal with that." She had spent very little time in that room, more often than not sleeping on the couch. She did her homework with Kara in her former room, left whatever she could in her old room, and left her clothes in the laundry room. Her mother never seemed to piece together why.

Eliza gasped, as if she had not considered that. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how to talk about him, not with you, but in general. I thought… I thought just holding you when I could was enough."

Alex forgot about the random hugs she got from her mother after her father's death. Sometimes, Eliza seemed to have radar for when she needed one and Kara was not already attached to her side. But, it was far from enough. Her mother sighed.

"You would've been better off with him. He always knew you so much better than I did, better than I do," Eliza said, rubbing her face with both hands.

With a frown, Alex shook her head. "But, you're the one who's here. You putting me in his study after I presented, it was like you were throwing me away, putting me in a hole with him, burying me with him." She pointed to the floor before she paced again, a couple of steps in either direction and then her focus was back on her mother. "Part of me thought it was because I was an alpha and since you're an alpha, I thought you knew something terrible about me."

"I wasn't trying to make you think that. I would never do that, not on purpose. I was just trying to make you comfortable and protect you." Her mother seemed to be pleading with her to understanding, but Alex was not there yet.

Alex shook her head. "I still walk around thinking something's wrong with me, Mom. Do you even get that? I'm so messed up, on so many levels." She tapped the side of her head. "My first time with an omega, I had to get so drunk because I thought there was something wrong with me and I was scared she'd realize it. I was so drunk. I barely remember what happened, except for the worst part of the night anyway. Do you know I threw up on her? I actually threw up on the poor girl."

Alex hated the memory, not just throwing up an omega who looked way too much like Kara for her to not know where her desire lied. The idea of having to get so drunk in the first place to go through trying to have sex and to go through with trying to have sex with an omega who looked like Kara. She doubted there was enough alcohol on Earth to make her forget how messed up she was or how messed up she felt at the time. She could still hear her mind telling her how disgusting she was for wanting to have sex with her sister.

Eliza's expression melted into pure sorrow. "Alex, you have to know I didn't mean for you to carry that with you."

Alex motioned to the chair her mother had been sitting in. "You just called me a degenerate not even five minutes ago. So, no, I don't know you didn't want that for me. I've carried around that feeling since I presented. All you did was confirm for me what I thought you already thought."

"I don't want that. I don't want you to feel that way."

Alex arched an eyebrow to that statement. "What have you done to leave me to believe you even want me? I've been your bodyguard and babysitter for Kara since she showed up and nothing more. When was the last time you cared about me or something I did on my own? Hell, something I even did for Kara beyond what you asked me to do? You didn't realize I was failing out of school. You didn't say anything about my maybe attempted suicide. I don't even know what the fuck that was and you've never bothered to ask! You didn't even say anything when I stopped surfing!" There were so many huge moments in her life that her mother barely commented on, like they did not matter, like she did not matter.

A tear slid down Eliza's eye and Alex was certain she knew why. Everything she said was true. Her mother was very hands off when it came to her and she always had been. The problem was that without her father there, the neglect was glaring. She wished her mother would just own it.

Eliza took a deep breath and moved to stand right in front of Alex. "I've never meant to make you feel like this, Alex. You're a wonderful daughter. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life, as a friend, a sister, a daughter."

Alex arched an eyebrow. "Lover?"

Eliza gave her a slow nod as more tears slid down her face. With a sniff, she tried to wipe them away. "Of course. I never meant to hurt you, Alex. I thought I was protecting you. You've led me to believe I did an awful job at that. I never considered how many of my decisions might have affected you so negatively. I thought I was doing what was right. I never thought about how my silence affected you. When you took all of the suppressants, I didn't think you were trying to kill yourself. I thought it was an accident to try to control your rut and I didn't say anything because I thought you were embarrassed."

Alex threw up her hands. "Of course I was embarrassed. I was in a hospital. I missed a week of school. I couldn't figure out if I was trying to kill myself or not. I felt like an idiot. What kind of moron can't figure out if she was actually committing suicide? But, you still should've said something. You're my mother and I almost died and you didn't say anything. You didn't even say you were happy I didn't die, happy I was still here. Like, what the fuck?" Alex hated to think she was just like her mother, emotionally unavailable, except when it came to Kara. No, you tried. You just didn't feel anything for those other women or you were too traumatized to make it anywhere with them.

Eliza wrung her hands together, reminding Alex of Lady MacBeth of all characters. "Words sometimes fail me with you, but I thought you understood my touch."

"Your touch?" Alex could feel her brow furrow as she stared at her mother.

Alex was ready to go off on her mother, but then suddenly Eliza had her hand, holding it firmly with both of hers. It paused everything inside of Alex and then took her back to her hospital bed. Tears slid down her cheeks, just as they had done back then. It had only lasted a minute back then, but she had felt so much. Fuck.

"Words help and you never try with words," Alex said. Her mother was tactile with her, like she was with Kara, but it was impossible to understand what touches meant without words.

"I understand that and that was a failure on my part. So, allow me this chance to try again."

"Try again?" Alex held in a scoff. She wanted to say it was too late, but those words refused to come while her mother had her hand.

Eliza gave her hand a squeeze. "Alex, you're in a relationship with Kara? I suspected you two might have feelings for each other. I'm glad you waited to act on them, so you can be sure."

"You don't mean that," Alex said, yanking her hand back. "You're just trying to clean it up now. You don't mean it." The first reaction was the true one. Her mother would never say something to try to make her feel normal or encourage her to be happy, even now.

"I want you both to be happy and I know you make each other happy. I also don't want to be the person to make you miserable or make you feel less than when you're an amazing person. You're an established scientist and a federal agent. You save lives almost every day. You've saved the world before. I'm not disappointed in you. I could never be disappointed in you. I love you, Alex."

Alex wanted both to believe every bit of this and call bullshit on it at the same time. She craved her mother's love and approval like any child, but her anger had become a part of her. To lose that anger was to lose a piece of herself. She was not sure what to do.

"Can I think on it?" Alex asked.

"I think we both need to let these words settle. Are you going to stay the night?"

"I'm in no shape to drive." She felt beyond drained.

Eliza only nodded and Alex made her way upstairs without a second though. She paused at her father's study. She never thought of it as her room, but some of her stuff was in there, mixed with his. It had been home for two years, but never home. Sort of like home stopped being home when he was gone.

Alex moved on, going to her original room, Kara's room. Kara made it her room in the same way Alex made her father's office her room. It had necessities in it and nothing more, even though Kara had lived in the room longer than Alex had lived in her father's office. Kara had not had much with her when she came to live with them and apparently had not collected much. That was a thought for later, though.

"You heard all of that," Alex said to Kara, who was curled up in her bed, eyes wet and cheeks streaked with tears.

Kara nodded and sniffled. "I ruined your life."

"No, you didn't." Alex sighed and stripped out of her clothes. She crawled into bed next to Kara and wrapped her in a strong embrace. Kara cuddled in close and Alex wiped away any remaining tears. "Me and my mom have always had problems. I think it just hurt more and stood out more because you didn't seem to have those problems with her."

Kara shook her head. "She and I committed the same sins. We never consider you."

"No, it's not the same thing. I'm here to protect you. Mom is my sire. She's supposed to protect me. That's her job and it hurts that I don't feel like she did it, like I wasn't worth it. Do you feel like I don't my job?" Alex asked, heart already shredded. If Kara said anything to confirm that, Alex was certain she would die in the bed.

"I don't think it's your job to protect me, but you do a good job at it. I don't want you to be burdened with me."

"You're not a burden. I love you." She kissed the top of Kara's head. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too, and I think even though your mom is kinda bad at showing it, she loves you, too."

Alex sighed. "Agreed. That doesn't make it hurt less." It also did not help her understand where they stood now or who she would be if she let go of that past hurt, that past anger.

Kara looked at her with a smile. "But, this might be the road to healing, right?"

"Maybe." Alex would not hold her breath. Her mother had a lifetime of behavior to change and Alex did not see that happening, even after that emotional speech. Plus, again, the anger was part of her, so she might have to learn to let it go, change herself.

"Anything you want to talk about?" Kara asked as she snuggled in as close to Alex as she could without crushing her.

"I think this was mostly between me and Mom. Anything you want to talk about?"

Kara was quiet for a moment. "You threw up on a girl? An omega?"

"Yeah. I was really messed up drunk. It didn't help that…" Alex took a deep breath. It was hard to say to Kara, even though she knew Kara heard. "She looked like you, Kara. She was tall with blond hair and blue eyes. She had a really cute laugh. I guess I thought since I couldn't be with you, I could be with someone like you. Turns out, no. I threw up all over her and it wasn't because of the alcohol, as I had perfected drinking at that point. Not to mention, it happened twice."

"Twice?" Kara's voice was loud in the dark.

"Yeah. I tried again with a very similar girl and threw up again. I was polite enough to miss her. They were omegas and what happened with them soured me on omegas. That's why I don't want you to be an omega. I just want you to be you. I only want you."

Kara's face lit up a little. "Well, I can only be me."

Alex kissed Kara's forehead, feeling at ease from the feel of that bit of skin. "That's good. You're the only one I want."

"I still feel bad."

"Don't. My relationship with my mother has never been ideal. My father was just there to cover up the flaws or drag her along. Some of her reasoning, I even understand. I mean, putting me in Dad's study as a way of making me feel closer to him. I could see how that would work in her head. Do I think she was protecting me from you? No. She was protecting you from me and it hurts. I mean, she's an alpha. She should know I could control myself, but she thought I'd take advantage of you."

"She should've talked to us about this."

"Yeah, but she's not a talker. At least not when it comes to me and unless I push for it." Alex was not one to push, though, not with her mother.

Kara made a noise in the back of her throat. "I want us to talk."

"We do and we will." Communication was definitely key. She would never take it for granted again.

"And if we ever have a child, we have to talk to the child, too."

Alex was not sure if it was possible for her and Kara to have children. It was something she would focus on researching now that she could stop worrying over Kara being poisoned in small doses by kryptonite. She would also look into speeding up Kara's recovery from kryptonite. There was a lot to do.

"If we ever have a child, we will talk as much as possible." Alex had no desire to repeat the mistakes of her mother.

"You think you'll be able to sleep?" Kara asked.

"I think I'll be all right." She said what she needed to say. Now, the ball was in her mother's court. Eliza could see reason or they would have to make new holiday plans.

-8-8-8-8-

As it turned out, Kara was the one who could not sleep. While Alex might tell her she did not ruin her life, Kara still felt responsible for all of this misery and woe in Alex's life. If nothing else, she was the reason Jeremiah died and he was the parent Alex needed. He was the glue of this family. What would Alex have been if her father was still around? She could not even fathom the greatness that would have been.

It also hurt to know Eliza thought she would hurt Alex. Yes, she could understand thinking she would want to explore the world, but she would never find someone better than Alex and she would never leave Alex believing she was less than the best person ever. What had she done to give off such a low impression of herself? She would ask in the morning.

The morning came too slowly for Kara and she got up before Alex did. She made some breakfast, an entire box of frozen waffles, and sat at the table, eating and waiting. Eliza wandered down, seeking coffee more than likely. She looked worse for wear, hair in several directions and bags under her eyes. She glanced at Kara, but did not say anything until she got her cup of coffee.

"You okay?" Eliza asked, easing into a seat next to Kara. She wrapped both hands around the cup, which she was something she did for as long as Kara could remember with her. It was like the heat did not bother Eliza.

"I'm eating all your frozen waffles," Kara said.

A tiny smile settled on Eliza's face for a split second and she patted Kara on her wrist before her hands returned to her mug. "They're there for when you stop by."

Kara nodded, knowing that good and well. "You've always been so good to me, Eliza. Why did you think I wouldn't be good to Alex? I love Alex and I always have. Why do you think I would just leave her behind?" She had been left behind too much in life to ever curse Alex in such a way, even though Alex would not be alone if she did.

Eliza shook her head. "It was more of a fear than an actual thought. I always knew you'd blossom. I didn't know into what." That was possibly a Supergirl reference. "I thought you would go off and explore the world to find yourself while I always felt like Alex knew who she was, so she didn't have to go look."

If only Alex knew who she was. It would save them all a lot of pain and suffering. "Alex would be surprised to know you think so highly of her."

Eliza sighed and Kara was certain she could see and hear the woman deflate. "It's terrible to know how hard I failed her. I failed her, Jeremiah, and my family. I failed as an alpha." Her eyes looked into her coffee mug, but they might as well had been staring inside of her, inside of an abyss.

Kara twisted up her mouth. "I don't really know what that means. I'm not sure how I passed sex ed." Maybe she used to know more about human sex stuff than she did now.

"You've probably just forgotten things you once knew as you haven't had a chance to use the information again."

Kara nodded. "Maybe. So, as an alpha you're supposed to do what for the family?"

"Protect them, keep them safe, not hurt them, and I've hurt Alex. I've hurt you. I didn't—couldn't—protect Jeremiah and I think that's affected me more than I realized now that I see how much I hurt Alex. As the alpha, I'm expected to protect my omega and our babies."

"You couldn't have saved Jeremiah, though. You weren't with him and you couldn't be with him every moment of the day."

Eliza's shoulders dropped. "Intellectually, I know that, but emotionally, I can't accept it." She scratched a spot on her shoulder that was covered almost entirely by her nightshirt. But, Kara was almost certain she could see the beginning of a bruise. An old bruise, possibly teeth marks. "I should've been there for him. I should've been there just for the simple fact that Alex needed him. Alex needed him and I lost him."

"You didn't lose him. It wasn't your fault. You have a lot on your shoulders, but that shouldn't be one of them," Kara said. She could not lie to Eliza and say things were out of her control. A lot of what happened with Alex was very well in her control, but Jeremiah was beyond her.

"Kara's right, Mom. You shouldn't blame what happened to Dad on yourself," Alex said as she strolled into the dining room.

"If something happened to Kara while you weren't there, would anyone be able to convince you it wasn't your fault?" Eliza countered.

Alex's head rocked to the side. "I see your point." She sat across from Eliza. "You don't look so good."

"I stayed up all night thinking about how I screwed up as your mother, as your sire. I think the worst thing out of this all is you think I don't care about you. I love you so much, Alex. You too, Kara. I love you both and I don't want to be the one who hurts everyone in our family. I've let fear and failure do more harm than should've ever been allowed," Eliza said.

"So, you're okay with our relationship?" Kara asked, pointing between her and Alex with her fork.

"I want you two to make it. I know how much you mean to each other. I hope this new aspect of your relationship doesn't change things for the worse," Eliza replied.

"That's what you're scared of?" Kara inquired.

Eliza sighed. "Yes. Among other things. I truly thought I was protecting you when I separated you."

Alex shook her head. "Mom, do you realize that when I presented as alpha and then you, my sire, pulled me from my own room, do you know how that impacted my mind, my development? I thought something was wrong with me. I thought something was wrong with me until about two months ago."

Eliza's eyes drifted back to her mug and once again it seemed like she was searching inward, hopefully trying to find the right words. "I can't apologize enough for that. I thought I was doing the right thing, but there was a lot of things I didn't take into consideration. I understand that now that you pointed it out. I want to be better moving forward."

"Well, first, again, you have to talk to us more. We're talking to each other more. You have to do the same," Alex replied.

Eliza nodded. "Yes."

"Seriously, Mom. Don't talk at us. Talk to us. If you have concerns, let us know without dictating what you want us to do. If you have fears, let us know without making us feel bad about something," Alex said.

"And maybe if you have praise, let us know because every now and then, we might do good work." Kara gave Alex a smile. Alex deserved a little praise and probably would not know what to do with herself should her mother express pride in her.

Eliza's eyes drifted to her coffee cup and now Kara was sure she was looking for the right words. She seemed to find them sooner and easier than before as she looked across at Alex. "I've always been happy and lucky to have you as a daughter. It's my shame for not expressing it more often. You're a wonderful person. I need you to know that."

Kara could hear Alex swallow, even though it was low enough that Eliza could not have possibly heard it. How long had Alex longed to hear such words from her mother? Kara could not imagine.

"Maybe you could come to National City one day and come out with us to dinner," Kara said with a smile. "Just sort of observe us in our natural habitat."

Alex and Eliza both chuckled and Eliza nodded. "I'd like that."

After that, they sat there in silence for a long while before Alex offered to go get breakfast bagels. It gave her time to gather her thoughts. Eliza went to office, but they all regrouped when Alex returned. They settled in the living room and watched a movie. It was nice, relaxed. A good type of quiet with Alex in the middle of the couch, Kara curled up against her one side and Eliza sitting next to her on the other. I hope this is how it is from now on. I want Alex and Eliza to have a good relationship.

This seemed like a good fresh start for the Danvers family. Kara and Alex left on a good note. They got home in time for a shower and then went to bed without plans to go to sleep. With the red sunlamps doing their jobs, Kara could feel Alex all around her in every way possible as she snuggled into Alex.

"Thoughts?" Kara asked.

"That wasn't as painful as I expected."

"Well, you expected her to literally rip you apart so…"

"Emotionally, she sort of did for a moment there. I just gave as good as I got."

Kara nodded. "But, it's probably going to start the healing. You set the broken bone. Yes, it hurt, but now it can heal properly."

"We'll see."

"Are we okay?"

"Of course we're okay. At least from my end. What about you?"

"I just want to make sure I start thinking of you more, of your needs. You deserve to be pampered as much as anyone else." She had already planned to do that, but it could not longer just be a plan. She had to make it happen as soon as possible.

Alex chuckled and kissed Kara's forehead. "This is more than enough for me. I don't need a lot to be happy and I've learned this over the years. Having you close, like this, and loving me, that's enough."

Kara purred and rubbed her calf against Alex's leg. "That's enough for me, too. Being with you." She still had to figure out how to spoil Alex, spoil her rotten. For now, this was enough, though. It was more than enough for her. "I love you so much."

"I love you as well. I love you in more ways than I thought possible."

Kara understood that, feeling the same way. Alex was the brightest light on her darkest night, the sun of her world. She wanted to show her appreciation and she would, as soon as she got some ideas. For now, she cuddled in closer to Alex and just enjoyed the listening to her breathe. This was the best thing on Earth.

-8-8-8-8-

The end.

Well, guys, here we are, three chapters and well over 60,000 words more than I expected to write for this. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for the support. I hope you come back to read more of my work. If you like my work, please go check out my books on Amazon under the name S. L. Kassidy. Come say hi to me on Facebook, too. Back to my padded cell with me. Thanks again.