Vier Katzen und ein Kätzchen

Four Cats and a Kitten

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Takehito Koyasu © or Project Weiß ©. The fanfiction belongs to me.

Warning: Yaoi, M-Preg and mindless Takatori bashing. Trust me, if you flame despite these warnings… well, I can only say that you're retarded.

Plot Cockroach: Hmm, I remember reading M-Pregs in LOTR fictions. The thing is, I haven't really found any of these genres here. Well, I'm trying for it. I've never been pregnant before, (or will ever be, guys are never meant to be pregnant anyway) but I'll have help from my ma. The thought of Aya-kun being expectant is… hee, heh, heh, heh!

Pairing: The usual. Ken x Ran and Yohji x Omi

Note: The characters look like that from the manga. Slightly AU. I mean, c'mon! It's a guy getting pregnant here! And I'm also making Schwarz NOT working for Takatori. Weiß would like this!

Key: '…' means telepathy or thoughts

"…" Means normal speech

_________________

Part One – Masafumi's Secret

It was already drawing close to midnight. By this time, if Bombay's strategy worked its magic again, as it usually does, the target would be waltzing out just in time to feel the wonderful feeling of a cold steel blade stabbing through his heart. Literally. Abyssinian wasn't an entirely forgiving man. He killed for Kritiker, and it was good enough for him that his teammates and his sister were alive, well and kicking.

He sighed a little, wisps of his breath fogging the steel of his blade. It was November, and frigid at that. The heavy trench coat did nothing to stop the penetrating chill, and he distantly wondered how Omi kept himself warm in those shorts he wore.

'He has that prostitute to help him, mein kätzchen.'

That voice.

That irritating nasal and bothersome voice that can only mean one thing – Schwarz.

Silently Abyssinian rolled his eyes and made a face at the sky. Schwarz, those meddling weirdoes who were the spawn of evil itself. Were they normal people owning a flower shop, they'd be arranging funeral wreaths day after day. Most of all, he hated their stupid, smirking leader and his equally stupid German sausage ---

"How mean," the voice finally spoke up, now in the open rather than in the mind. Mastermind stalked up to him, his smirk slightly faded. "Sausages may be invented in Germany but their people certainly aren't sausages."

"Shut up, Mastermind," Oracle hissed, embarrassed. He had a team image to maintain, after all. The blond pouted, folding his arms and turning away with a huff. Trust Bradley dearest to be such a spoilsport! And he was in the middle of defending his countrymen too! Oracle nodded, satisfied with the outcome of his order. "We meet again, Weiß."

"This shall be the last time," Abyssinian drew out his katana. To his dismay, though, some unseen force halted that motion. Mastermind smirked.

"Not this time, kätzchen," he purred. "This time we're in the same league!"

Abyssinian blinked. Prodigy nodded in affirmation. "We got the information, and yes, we're after the same target. Mastermind nearly had us screwed up, but luckily for us, you backed up on us, though unknowingly."

"Backing up unknowingly makes god cry too," Berserker added solemnly.

"That's right," Prodigy half-smiled. "We shall be going now. We trust you to be able to finish the job for us."

Again, Abyssinian blinked. Schwarz was leaving these matters to Weiß? Besides, Prodigy's straightforward statement caught him a little off guard. But still, missions were missions. Abyssinian shrugged nonchalantly and grunted. Mastermind smirked.

"Good luck, kätzchen," he murmured, blowing a kiss towards the slightly disgusted redhead. The telepath laughed gaily and strode off into the night with his teammates. Abyssinian stood in the dark, shivering a little from the cool air. It was already midnight.

Then, as if on cue, the target stepped out with his companion, both smoking and chattering loudly. Abyssinian winced as they drew closer; the stench of cigarettes was strong even from that point. He waited a moment longer, and soon they were right beside him. With stealthy movements, Abyssinian sliced through with his katana, beheading both men with a swift motion.

Not fast enough, apparently.

"You…" the target had managed to chokingly yell. That alerted the guards.

"Damn…" Abyssinian hissed under his breath. Guards? Weren't Bombay, Balinese and Siberian supposed to have stalled and finished them in the last room? He briefly remembered Schwarz, and Prodigy's mention of Mastermind nearly screwing up the whole situation, but as quick as lightning he chucked the thought away and concentrated on escaping… thirteen or so guards. It certainly wasn't his lucky day.

Abyssinian sidestepped the first two men, swiping his weapon backwards and slicing one of the guard's hands off. Blood splattered everywhere – it was on his face, his trench coat, and his hands, but he didn't care just then. The repercussions could wait until he was safely home with the rest.

The redhead zigzagged his way into the building, that throwing the guard's off-scent. They'd thought that their intruder would run off into the night, instead of heading towards them, savagely hacking and severing anything in his path. Abyssinian soon found the yelling subsiding into the background as he reached the research labs of the building. Sliding behind one of the tanks, he sat down to catch his breath.

His knees felt like jell-o all of a sudden. This was more of a blotched mission, but at least he got the target killed. As for the guards, the rest would have to help him finish it. There was no way in the world that Bombay would let their cover be broken. Noting that there was a gap through the lab wall, he plotted to get out of the lab as soon as he felt a tremor from an explosion.

This was getting long… and their intercoms had stopped functioning midway through the mission.

Boom!

The force of the blast jolted Abyssinian back to his senses, quick enough for him to avoid getting crushed by the tank above. It fell and crashed, the liquids from it and the surrounding tanks spilling and leaping into the air as the blast echoed over and over again. Quick as he was, Abyssinian was soaked head to toe, only his trench coat and boots and gloves keeping it from reaching his skin covered by the fluids. The redhead grimaced a little as he felt the tang of the liquid in his mouth, and the stickiness of it all on his face and hair.

He hurried to the gap and squeezed out easily, being lithe and slippery with goo. And just in time did he stumble out, for the room collapsed a few seconds later.

'So much for best lab in the world,' a nasal voice echoed through his head, faintly hinted with laughter. At that, all was finally calm. Abyssinian got up, making a face at his own state.

"Aya-kun!"

He looked up and spotted Omi, Yohji and Ken running up to him. 'Aya-kun', that boy had said. That meant that it was all over. Silently he heaved a sigh of relief.

"Whoa, you look…"

"…Like I need a bath," Ran cut the green-eyed brunet off. The redhead strode off ahead of them, and as a team, Weiß made their way through the foggy November night.

__________________

"Sorry, we stumbled into Schwarz. But I'm glad you got out alright, Aya-kun!" Omi sat on the couch, calmly relating the mission events to their leader. The four were seated round there, mugs of cocoa in hand. Tonight was somewhat a special night for them all; the labs of Masafumi T. were destroyed. Usually, they'd all retire to their rooms, but a cold November night like this was best enjoyed in the company of others, and discussing the mission. Besides, their run-in with Schwarz was something worth chatting about.

"So, Aya, what happened to you since your part? The guards were out there," Yohji pointed out.

"To start with, I met Schwarz before the target emerged from the building."

"What?" Ken sat up eagerly. "And you didn't fight?"

"Prodigy mentioned that we were in the same league, at least for tonight," Ran absently sipped his cocoa. It felt so good, so warm in his hands, in stark contrast to the chill then. He also felt a little hungry too. "Mastermind nearly screwed up their mission, which was incidentally to kill our same target. Prodigy told me to finish it, and I did. Besides, backing up unknowingly…"

"…Makes god cry," Omi finished his sentence, laughing. "Yes, Berserker told us that. That was after Yohji-kun finally decided to believe them and stop fighting."

"Hey, hey! I had to somehow protect everyone's favorite bishounen! The girls would kill me if they found out their little Omi-kun was hurt!"

"Well, they don't know that we're assassins!" Omi countered. "You're such a silly-Billy-goat, Yohji-kun!"

"Which explains why he's so 'horny' all the time," Ken chipped in. "Goats have horns, get it?"

"They do?" Omi blinked.

"Omi, the wise boy genius, doesn't know that Billy goats have horns?" Ken grinned. "Well, that's new!"

"I guess there's always room for improvement," Omi replied smilingly. He then paused as he caught sight of Ran. "Aya-kun? Are you okay?"

The other two men stopped chattering and turned around to look at the redhead who was shaking slightly. Ran slammed the mug onto the coffee table and hurriedly got up, dashing in the general direction to the bathroom. Omi's question was soon answered by the sounds of Ran being really sick, or throwing up dinner as Omi so called it.

Ken made his way to his ailing teammate, yelling and Omi and Yohji to call the doctor working for Kritiker. They did so hurriedly, seeing Ran shaking violently and holding on to Ken. Although the vomiting had stopped, Ran seemed a nervous wreck. They'd never seen their stoic leader acting this way before. It scared them.

Half an hour later, the doctor arrived. By then Ran had already calmed down, but the young man wouldn't be turned down so easily. It was his job after all to make sure the agents were in the pink of health at all times. "I'll have to run a few simple tests on you, Mr. Fujimiya."

"Fine."

The kindly young man sent the redhead off to do the tests on his own, privately, while talking to the boys and lightly chiding them, especially Omi, for eating too much pocky and sweets. He was quite fun to talk to, being genteel and kind, and Omi had a good time learning a few things he needed to know for the upcoming exams. Ran returned later, handing the young man whatever he asked for, and then standing to meet his gaze. The doctor smiled. "Go get some rest, Mr. Fujimiya. I'll brief you when the time comes."

It was a long wait. Ken fidgeted, pacing along the room. He didn't like the notion of getting sick, and most of all Ran getting sick. It pained him to see the redhead looking lethargic when he was usually alert and bore himself well. Omi and Yohji, both being worn out, were asleep on the couch; the youngest brunet sprawled absently across the playboy's stomach. It was a pretty sight and Ken would have admired the angelic atmosphere it presented, if not for the nagging worry in his mind.

At long last, the doctor stepped out. Ken ran up to him. "What's wrong with Aya, doctor?"

Omi and Yohji awoke and sat up groggily. Ran looked up expectantly, and the young man sighed, not knowing how to tell them the truth. "This might seem strange, sirs…"

"Go on."

Brown eyes flitted from one face to another, and finally the young man nodded. "Well… Mr. Fujimiya is… he's… umm… how shall I put this…" he stopped and took a deep breath. "Mr. Fujimiya is pregnant. Congratulations!"

Ran promptly fainted.

~*~*~ End Part One ~*~*~

Note: What a weird fic. Well, please treat this as lighthearted humor. I can't really explain how Ran got pregnant scientifically, so just take it that he's pregnant just because I'm ebbil. Ran might be a little OOC in this. He'll be having mood swings! WHOO! XD