When had L Lawliet sunk so low?

L had never felt so much shame in his life.

It wasn't even just that he had hurt Raito and essentially violated him. It was that he had let his emotions cloud his judgement so far that he had allowed that to happen. He was the Detective L. He was cold, precise, sharp. He was the leader of his successors, he was the one in charge.

It was so tempting to blame his fall from grace onto falling in love with Yagami Raito, if only that had had a shred of truth to it. Even after they had met, even after they had established their relationship and realised how much they meant to each other, he had never lost himself. It was only after his worst failure, the incident he had lost him in, that he had become this pathetic disgrace.

Perhaps if he had gotten him back, things would have gone back to normal. But he hadn't, and he never would.

He never would.

"Ow." L winced at the sting of alcohol. "Be gentler, Watari."

The old man bristled, giving him a wordless look of disapproval. L shrugged and looked away. "It was only a suggestion."

"I shall not follow your suggestion." Watari said as he pressed hard on the wound on his knee, making L yelp and squirm. "I am ashamed of you. I am deeply, deeply ashamed of you, L."

It stung worse than the alcohol, but what did Watari expect from him? An apology?

Not while Raito was still in the room, that was for sure. His head still hurt from being knocked into the hard edge of the stairs. He wasn't getting an apology if it was his last day on Earth.

L snuck a glance at the brunet out the corner of his eye. He looked much better than him, mostly because L, unlike Light, had subconsciously made an effort not to hit his face. Misa-Misa was fluttering around him, worrying about his injuries and giving the detective dirty looks in regular intervals.

Light himself was keeping his eyes trained on the ground, staring fiercely into the middle distance, his fingers laced together in his lap. They had taken off the handcuff to treat the bruise under it, his rusty-brown fringe was covering a knot on his forehead and his lips…L winced. His lips were swollen and painful, tender enough to bleed any second. How hard had L kissed him? Had he been so possessed?

And worst of it all was that if he had done this to his Raito, it would have been devastating. He would have triggered his trauma, he would have scarred him, he would have reminded him of what Mikami had done.

After all the effort of showing Light how different he was, how much healthier their relationship could be, when had he become Mikami? It was a given that he respected Light, with or without his memories, he would never have thought he could demean him, hurt him this way. Just because Light wasn't his anymore, L had lashed out like a child whose toy had been taken away.

The disgust coiled up in his throat until he was ready to gag. He was more sorry than he could say, he was ready to tip off of a cliff.

"Watari-san?" Light's quiet voice broke him out of his stupor. The old man at L's knee looked up curiously.

"How may I help you, Yagami-kun?"

The brunet steepled his fingers unconsciously. "Watari-san…" He looked away, as if embarrassed, but there was no heat to his cheeks, no nervous bend to his lips. "I-I need a change of clothes. I think L ripped my pants."

L's eyes darted to the boy's waistband, spying the wide, long gash that tore through the worn material. That hadn't been there before! "I have done nothing of the sort-" The detective began, but stopped himself with a cry when Watari flicked one of his bruises hard.

"Of course, Yagami-kun. Misa, go get something from the older children."

Misa saluted, giving Light a final little cuddle before hopping away out of the room. L didn't take his eyes off of him, carefully analysing the downward tilt to his head, the hooded chestnut eyes, the slight, slight grimace that meant he was making sure not to think about something.

L narrowed his eyes. "What are you scheming, Yagami Raito?"

The brunet raised his chin, looking pointedly at the wall opposite him. L pouted, crossing his arms. "Yes, ignore me. That's very mature."

"You have no right to be talking about maturity." Watari rebuked.

The detective sighed. "Can you stop ganging up on me? It takes two to make a fight."

"Yeah, well, it only takes one to make sexual assault." Light shot out. L cringed, nibbling on his thumbnail to keep himself from apologising.

"Technically, it takes two for that too." The detective muttered, and Watari made a sound of disgust.

"Shame on you, L Lawliet. I have taught you better than this."

"You have taught me nothing." He grumbled. "You are the ex-founder of my alumnus and my legal guardian, Watari. You aren't my father."

He realised how terrible that sounded the minute it left his mouth, but it was already too late. Watari shook his head and stood up. "I did not realise you feel that way about me, L."

"Well, Watari, you were the one being presumptuous. After all, it isn't like you view me as a son either."

Light winced. "L, God…"

Watari gave him a steely, stoic glance. "No desserts for the rest of the week, and you can treat your injuries yourself." He glanced at L's bruised wrist. "You will return the handcuffs to Misa."

"No!" The word escaped him before his brain could catch up. "No, Watari. Misa does not keep a vigilant eye on him!"

"Yeah, of course she wouldn't. She's not a fucking voyeur." Light said, examining the usually manicured nails he had chipped while trying to tear off L's leg.

L scoffed. "Voyeur, eh? What's next, Raito-kun? Pedophilia? Bestiality? Necrophilia?"

The teenager spun dramatically towards him, both hands braced on the bed so that he could lean in close to L's face. The pale man could catch an in-detail glimpse of Light's lips from here, their slow healing from an irritated red to their usual pale pink. The brunet poked him hard in the chest with every word. "You're a. Sick. Bastard."

L raised his eyebrows. "I didn't do anything to you, Raito-kun. Don't be so dramatic."

"You just forced yourself on me, that's what you did."

"You're making it a lot bigger than it is…" L began, until he saw Watari's aggressively disappointed expression. "Alright, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to force myself on you, obviously. I don't know what had gotten into me and I will never do it again. Please drop the subject."

Disgruntled, Light looked like he was going to say something scathing in reply, but Misa chose that very minute to burst in with a cheery squeal. "I got the clothes, Raito-kun! Here you go!"

The brunet was slightly startled by her appearance, which made the split-second change of expression ever so much more likely to be genuine. He smiled delightedly, his eyes bright. L narrowed his charcoal eyes and bit hard onto his thumbnail.

Light got to his feet, holding the frame of the bed for support and extra melodrama, an exaggeratedly pained expression on his face and glanced shyly at Watari. "Um. Where can I change?"

"The attached bathroom would be fine, we have secured it already." Watari said, and L sighed. His guardian was usually better at this. His judgement was clouded because of his misplaced guilt. Looks like L would have to take the bullet for the team once more.

As Light began to walk towards the bathroom, L hopped to his feet as well, slumping along behind him. Light noticed, frowning and stopping in his tracks. What he didn't expect, however, was for a heavy hand to fall on his shoulder. "Where do you think you're going?"

L suppressed a growl of frustration. "Stop nagging me, Watari. You have never expressed doubts as to my methods before."

It was when Watari switched to English that he knew there was a major problem afoot. "That is because when it comes to Yagami Raito, you act like a bloody imbecile! I think it's about time we start rethinking your precious strategies, L. You made your bleeding mistakes, so fix them! Stop justifying yourself!"

L switched similarly, feeling his anger bubble up again. He glared at the aged inventor, his hands in fists. "Watari, for God's sake, leave me alone. I am the one you trained to be L, so let me be L. Stop getting in my way!"

"I will get in your way, L, if you choose to assault a young man you kidnapped and brought here against his will! We are supposed to be focussing on Near, and I hear from Misa that instead of investigating, you write in a little diary about your daydreams with the Yagami Raito of the past! Bollocks! This isn't the dedication I am expecting from the Detective L!"

"They're not daydreams-" L whipped his head to the side when he heard the bathroom door snick shut. He had lingered for too long, Yagami Raito had entered it with nobody's permission and a blatant disregard for their agreement, just as he had expected.

Incensed, L loped towards the door and tried the doorknob. "Raito, let me inside! Don't you dare lock this door!"

Raito's voice was that of a petulant child. "I'll only be five seconds."

L banged on the door with his fist. "Let me in or I'm going to break the door open!"

"But I don't have my pants on!" Light pleaded, and that was when it was confirmed that the sneaky bastard had something up his sleeve. The black-haired man took a few steps backward and readied his foot.

"I'm going to break it open, Raito!"

"No! Don't, I don't-" Light was interrupted by L's expert shot at the doorknob, cracking it unlocked and swinging the door wide open. He stalked inside and found Light in front of the toilet, his hand on the flush. His pants were indeed off, exposing his long tan legs, and he was holding the curve of his wrist in one hand as if shielding something from view.

"Please, don't come closer-" Light began in an obviously forced despondent voice when L marched towards him, yanking his hand roughly off.

"What are you doing, Yagami-" He paused, and his eyes grew wide in alarm. "What…? What is this?"

The boy had scratched three long red lines along his wrist with his nails, much like the kind he had inflicted on L only half an hour ago, the blood beading over the injury and dripping into the toilet. L felt a stab of fear go through him. "Light…"

The brunet ducked his head, as if embarrassed, and L quickly pulled the arm to the sink, running it under the water and cleaning the blood from it. He was speechless, baffled.

This was just like the old Raito. His site of injury had been his palm, scratching it until it bled when he thought about things that hurt him. He would go to the bathroom like this too, making excuses to hide his compulsions.

But this was a new level. And it was entirely uncalled for.

This Light was completely psychologically healthy. He had tested it himself, and L had excellent credentials in psychological analysis. This Light was fine, he was a go-getter, an optimist, he had none of the dirty memories that poisoned the old Light's mind.

L looked into his eyes and was greeted with a self-satisfied smirk.

Whatever he had been plotting, he had completed it halfway. There was something there, some backup idea, except he hadn't had the time to put it into fruition. It amazed him that Light knew himself so well, he would use his own tendencies against him.

The detective gave him a dead-eyed stare, screwing the sink's knob closed. Light's smirk grew.

"I do this sometimes when I'm stressed. You know, like when I'm sexually assaulted and thrown into a brawl with a man five years older than me. I'm a young noble mate, you know. Delicate, fragile." He whispered tauntingly. "Watari probably won't be very pleased to see this."

"You think you're so clever, Yagami Raito." L snarled, consciously knowing that he should be feeling resentful, irritated with him.

Light winked. "You know I am."

And he would be lying to himself if he didn't acknowledge the jolt of excitement it sent through him, the kind of thrill he hadn't felt for months now.

"Seven." He said.

"Seven?"

The detective lowered his gaze, looking up at Light from under his thick black eyelashes. "Seven years between us, Raito-kun." He grinned teasingly and sauntered out of the bathroom, waiting by the doorway for Light to put on his clothes and follow him.

The thrill of the chase was on, and he would be damned if he didn't know Raito loved it just as much as he did.

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A/N: See? I'm uploading! XD I'm glad I remembered to do it this week lol