Tabula Inscripta is a loosely translated latin term, meant to signify a developing mind that is still in progress and changing based on a new set of conditions (an opposite to Tabula Rasa, the blank slate).

Summary: Kensi and Deeks in the aftermath of season 9. Because they both have some stuff to figure out. Will be 6-7 chapters. I will be focusing mostly on core team. I'm also not going to be overly detailed in the rescue details, as I want to address the emotional story more than the physical one. I wanted to get into the meat of Kensi and Deeks's fight and issues. This story isn't going to follow them off into the sunset, but will get them back on track getting to their future.

Each chapter will be from multiple POVs - the name will be in BOLD at the of each section.

Dreams with be in italics.

Some conversation has been written in Spanish (with attached translation). I used Google Translate, as I do not speak fluent Spanish. Please let me know if you notice errors.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, or have any affiliation with NCIS LA.

00

Deeks

When Deeks arrives at home, the sun is still high in the sky. It's solidly still afternoon, and not near yet to evening. He leaves his car unlocked in the driveway because he lives in a safe neighborhood. He opens the unlocked front door and leaves his briefcase on the bench in the front hall.

The air smells of warmth and spice, leading him towards the kitchen. He finds his wife by the stove. She's wearing a colourful apron and monitoring the stir fry with an overlarge spatula in hand.

"Smells good," he calls to get her attention.

She turns, having not heard his arrival over the sounds of the cooking food.

"I hope it's good," Kensi answers. "I'm experimenting with some new spices." She pauses. "I hope it's not too spicy."

He steps forward and kisses her. "Look at you; going all master chef on me."

She snorts a laugh and kisses him back. "Far from."

He pecks her lips one more time before stepping back. "I'll be the judge of that." He leans against the counter near the stove. "How was your day?"

She shrugs. "Fine. Just a quiet day at the office."

"Yeah, me, too." He smiles at his wife for a long moment. They don't work together anymore, and gone are the days of exciting workplace tales. But it's worth it, he tells himself. They are safe now, he tells himself, as his smile falls away.

Kensi uses the spatula to poke at the stir fry. The wedding band on her left hand catches his attention. Its match circles his left ring finger. For a moment, he spins the ring around his finger. It's somehow everything and nothing at the same time.

"I love you," he tells her.

Kensi smiles at him, the same way he had to her. "I know," she says. "I love you, too."

"Are you happy?" He asks.

"I'm with you," she responds.

He nods and steps away. He takes his time as he goes through the well-practiced steps of getting plates out of the cupboard and filling glasses. Gone are the days of getting home when it is well past dark. Gone are the days of takeout and disposable plates on the couch. Gone are the days of drinking beer out of the bottle.

Gone are a lot of things.

He presses a kiss to the back of Kensi's head as he steps by, heading for the dining room. He loves his wife. That is one thing that has not changed.

He sets the table and steps back to survey his work. He wonders if forks and knives are enough, or if they will need spoons as well.

The television is on in the living room and catches his attention. He steps towards it and reaches for the remote to turn up the volume.

ZNN is reporting on the terrorist attack from the week before. Deeks knows the basic details, but not much more. Below the main video feed, the ribbon slides along with news from the day. Death, accidents, drugs. It's mostly all bad news.

He shakes his head and turns off the television.

With the television off, the light in the living room dies down to almost nothing. He turns and finds it too quiet. He can't smell dinner cooking in the kitchen anymore.

He walks back towards the kitchen, but stops at the dining table. The plates, cutlery and glasses he set out are still there, perfectly positioned.

He wonders when he ever cared about setting a table like this.

He suddenly wonders about a lot of things. Like when did he stop caring about the news? When did something bad happen in his country and he doesn't know the details? When did he stop wanting to make the world a safer place?

He stares across the dining room and through the living room towards the front hall. He cannot see it, but he remembers dropping his briefcase by the door. When the hell did he start carrying a briefcase?

He swallows hard and heads back into the kitchen. Kensi is still standing at the stove, decked out in an apron, spatula in hand.

He wonders when Kensi started wearing aprons. She never cared if her clothes were spattered before. And when did she start to having boring days at the office?

"Something is wrong," he voices.

She turns to him, still gripping the overlarge spatula. It's wrong. She's wrong. Something is wrong.

"This isn't right," he says.

She cocks her head. "What isn't right?"

He waves his hand. "This day, this house, this…life."

"This is what you wanted," she says.

"No, it's…" He shakes his head. "This isn't right. This isn't us."

"But I love you, and you love me."

"I do. I do love you." He waves his hands again, desperate to explain. "But I…" loved you before.

She says something more, but he can't hear. Her voice is moving, but there is no sound.

"What? Kensi?" He tries, but it is no use. She's gone.

And then, just like that, everything is gone.

000

Kensi

When Kensi awakes, it's to pain and fear and heat.

She's disoriented as the world flashes around her.

The pain along her ribs reminds her she is in a car. She's being held on the driver's side by her seatbelt. Behind her, there is groaning. In front of her there is fire.

She inhales sharply as reality comes back. She remembers the ill-fated mission. She remembers refusing to get on the helicopter. She remembers picking up Callen and Sam, and trying to get away. She remembers not being able to get away, not being able to avoid the missile fired toward them.

She tries to talk to her team, but her breath is lacking. She sucks in as deep a breath as she can and ignores the pain as the seatbelt presses sharply against her damaged ribs. "Is everyone okay?"

Behind her, someone groans, but does not speak. She thinks it's Sam.

Finally, Callen speaks. "Okay for now, but the fire…"

"We have to get out before it hits the gas tank," she finishes, her teeth gritted against the sharp pain in her chest.

She looks down to her partner, expecting to see him looking back at her, but he is not.

He is limp and lifeless. His seatbelt is holding him in the seat, but his body is deadweight, sagging against the shattered window beneath him.

"Deeks?" She tries. "Deeks!"

He says nothing. He doesn't move.

"Deeks!" She yells again. She tries to reach for him, but can't.

Behind her, she is minimally aware of Callen forcing his own partner into awareness.

"We have to get out now," Callen says. "Sam's leg is bleeding a lot."

"I'm fine," Sam mumbles.

"You're not," Callen shoots back. "And there's no way I can lift you right now." He grunts in pain as he removes his own seatbelt. "Getting out through the doors isn't an option. We'll have to go through the back."

"Deeks!" Kensi yells again. "Deeks, please. Wake up."

As Callen prods a very reluctant Sam out through the back of the SUV, Kensi undoes her seatbelt.

As soon as she is free, gravity kicks in and she falls against her partner. The pain is overwhelming, but not nearly as overwhelming as the total fear at his total lack of response.

"Deeks, please, come on. Don't' do this to me." She swears as she tries to manoeuvre herself so she's not squishing him. It's burning hot in the front of the downed SUV, and she is worried about their air. With a shaky hand, she reaches two fingers to his neck, ignoring the pain it causes her.

She doesn't feel anything. But he's being hung up in his seatbelt and his head and neck are hanging. She's uncertain of anatomy in this position. She moves her fingers and tries again.

Suddenly, Callen is back and pulling at her.

"No!" She yells, pulling away from him.

"Kens, we gotta get out."

"I can't find his pulse." She ignores Callen and the fire and her own injuries. She only cares about one thing in this moment.

Callen reaches to undo Deeks's seatbelt.

"No, we can't move him. His spine could be-"

"The car is on fire, Kensi," Callen says sharply. "We have no choice."

When the seatbelt is undone, Deeks simply sags against the side of the SUV that has become the floor.

It's Callen's turn to swear. "Come on, Kens. You need to help me."

She tries to lift her partner, but the pain is so great and she doesn't have any strength.

"Get out," Callen says.

"No, I won't leave him." She ignores her pain and pulls with all her remaining strength.

Callen stops her with a hand on her arm. "You go. I'll get him out. You can help me pull him through the back."

She hesitates.

"Kensi! Now. Move."

Callen's sharp words move her into action.

She squeezes through the space between the seats into the backseat.

Callen is quick to take her place. He manages to lift Deeks and start to get him through the opening.

Kensi's body screams in pain, but she ignores it as she pulls against the deadweight of her partner.

Once he is in the backseat, they repeat the process to get him into the trunk area of the SUV. The supplies and weapons they had stored in the vehicle have been thrown around by the missile. She pushes away what she can to make a path.

She and Callen repeat the process one more time to squeeze Deeks out through the opening where the back hatch has been opened as far as it can be.

Once out of the car, Kensi is shocked by the temperature change. Her worry about Deeks had vastly overshadowed the heat of the fiery vehicle.

She tries again to assess Deeks's condition, but Callen pushes her away and quickly drags her partner across the roadway and into the tall grass about thirty feet away.

Sam is already there, trying to sit up, but mostly reclined. His leg is bleeding through his pants and his eyes are not focused. He is very clearly in no condition to help.

As soon as Callen stops, he rolls Deeks onto his back.

Kensi drops to her knees beside him and reaches her hand to his neck. Her arm is bloody and swollen. She can barely make her fingers work, and thinks suddenly that the arm is broken. She ignores the pain and reaches for Deeks with the left hand.

She doesn't feel anything for a long moment and yells things at her partner that she will not remember later. "Come on Deeks. Don't do this. Deeks! Marty! Listen to me and wake up!"

She feels a slight thud against her fingers, but isn't sure if she is imaging it or not.

"I think…I think I feel something." She tries to press down on his chest, but she can't do it. She cries out in pain, and then screams something indecipherable.

Callen is there, pushing her hands away. "I'll do it. You do the breaths."

Callen positions his hands and quickly starts chest compressions.

Kensi pinches Deeks's nose with her left hand, tilts his head back and presses her lips to his. For the first time ever, his lips are cold and unresponsive against hers. She pushes away a swelling of nausea and forces her own air into him.

She breathes for him over and over and over.

Her focus is on only Deeks.

She has forgotten about the fiery SUV. But she is reminded quickly when the fire reaches the gas tank. The resulting explosion is loud and hot. It assaults her senses and momentarily blinds her.

Kensi cries as she covers Deeks's body with her own. She is hit with debris, but ignores the added pain. As soon as it seems to stop, she is back to breathing life into her partner.

Callen is shouting at Sam to crawl up the hill through the long grass. At first Kensi doesn't understand, but then she remembers the bad guys are not that far away. She doesn't doubt they will be headed their way soon.

Their only chance would be to run and hide, and hope the bad guys think they blew up in the SUV. But that would mean leaving Deeks. And she will never do that.

"We'll never get away," Callen says as he continues to compress Deeks's chest over and over. "Help isn't coming. We tell them Sam died when the missile hit. He was still in the car when it exploded."

"Okay," Kensi says between breaths. The she shakes her head. Sam is hurt, too. And Callen…

"You should go hide with Sam," she tells Callen. "I can take over here."

"Not without you," Callen responds.

She looks up and their eyes meet for a moment. And in that moment, Kensi reads Callen's expression better than she ever has before.

Callen thinks Deeks is already gone. He is only doing this for her.

She refuses to believe Deeks is gone. "I'll stay with him. You go with Sam."

For a moment, Callen almost smiles. "You two…" He shakes his head and is serious again. "We stay together."

Kensi nods. "Thank you." She is terrified of what will happen when the bad guys find them. She'd not afraid for herself, but for her partner. He is not responsive. And she is not sure if his heart is beating. And if she and Callen can't change that before the bad guys arrive, then he will be gone forever.

"Come on, Deeks. Please. Please don't do this. Please breathe."

She can hear a truck heading for them.

Her eyes well with tears. "I'm so sorry, Marty. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry we fought. I'm so sorry I couldn't give you the answer you wanted. I'm so sorry. And I love you so much. I want to fix this. I want to figure these things out with you. Please, Marty. Please live."

Callen is swearing as several trucks screech to a halt. He does one more series of chest compressions and then jumps up and stands facing the bad guys, holding up his hands.

He starts yelling in Spanish.

Kensi is still desperate to breathe life into her partner, but she hears enough to know Callen is trying to barter their lives in exchange for money, information and Derek.

The only things they have working for them is the fact that the bad guys do not know they are American federal agents.

"Come on, Deeks. Come on. Please. Please wake up."

He doesn't respond.

She is almost out of time and she knows it. "Come on Deeks. Breathe. No!" She screams and she is suddenly and violently ripped away from her fiancé.

The man who grabbed her surprised her, but was not expecting the amount of force she could muster as she tries to get away. She manages to get free, but her broken body is not prepared to support her own weight. She falls.

She cries out as she lands hard. Broken ribs scrape together. Her breath forces itself from her lungs.

She coughs and sputters as her vision blurs. She tries to rise, but falls back down. She forces herself to crawl towards Deeks.

She gets to his side before she is ripped away again.

"No!" She screams. She struggles, but this time there are two men holding her back and they are prepared for her.

The General considers the situation before telling one of his men to check on Deeks's status.

The man walks up to Deeks and nudges him with the toe of his boot.

Kensi holds her breath.

Deeks doesn't move.

The man draws his foot back and hits Deeks hard in the ribs.

Kensi screams at him.

Deeks still doesn't move.

Then the man turns and addresses his General. "Él está muerto," he says coldly.

He's dead.

Kensi almost wishes she can't understand the words. But she can. Tears stream down her face as she stares at the body of her partner.

The General strides up to Kensi and laughs at her obvious grief.

"¿Quién era él para ti?" He asks coldly. (Who was he to you?)

Kensi thinks of all the things Deeks was to her, and the one thing he wasn't but she wanted him to be. "Él era mi esposo," she says quietly. (He was my husband.)

The General nods like he is enjoying the news. "¿Dónde está el otro hombre?" (Where is the other man?)

Kensi motions towards the SUV which is now slowly burning itself out after the explosion.

The General nods again. He appears to consider matters again, before telling his men to put Kensi and Callen in the back of one of their trucks.

Kensi is almost numb to her pain and injuries as her hands are bound together and she is put into the back of an SUV beside Callen.

She stares through the window towards the site of Deeks's body. The bad guys leave him lying there in the Mexican sun. The car begins to move and she turns her head, watching until she can no longer see his body. Then she turns to face forward and leans back against the seat.

Beside her, Callen reaches his own bound hands towards hers in an attempt at comfort. "I'm so sorry, Kensi."