Pink Shade

Author's Note: I know the new episodes are here, but I'm still planning to continue my Scary!White series without much, if any changes. It'll remain an AU as you may expect and I won't change anything despite canon's reveals. This fic was inspired by the song "Vermillion Pt 2" by Slipknot.

"When we think of the past it's the beautiful things we pick out. We want to believe it was all like that."

― Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale

"Your memory feels like home to me.So whenever my mind wanders, it always finds it's way back to you."

― Ranata Suzuki

By: VampireQueenAkasha

~O~

Steven had been watching the door.

He didn't know how long he'd spent staring at the star shape of the temple that morning. The little circles that correlated with each room belonging to the Crystal Gems drew his attention to Rose's - his mother.

He knew the room rarely offered any straight answers. But right now, he had to try.

"Okay," Steven said, to himself. "I can do this."

He took a deep breath and stepped into his mother's room. It was filled with Pink clouds as usual, and it would have been welcoming if he didn't have other things on his mind. But now, the room was going to give him answers.

Steven looked around. "Alright!" he yelled, "Room, show me mom!"

Instead, the room formed a path of stone beneath his feet. Steven sighed, glancing down at it before he followed the path toward Beach City - or what the room manifested as Beach City -specifically Funland.

Steven looked confused. "Hello?" he called.

Funland Boardwalk was empty, but he continued to look and find answers to why he was seeing this particular place. He stopped in front of Ring Some, Lose Some and found no one around. Sighing, he picked up a ring and threw it absently at one of the bottles.

"Room, I want to find out about my mom, not Funland!" he protested, leaning against his arm on the counter. "Ugh, why can't you just give me a straight answer?"

Despite his frustration, there had to be a reason he was seeing this place. The room liked to work that way; he would be seeing something without knowing why and eventually, solve it on his own. Still, it was difficult most of the time.

He stopped tossing the rings and turned, startled to find Onion standing there. The smaller boy watched him with hands behind his back and perpetually wide, unseeing eyes. Sighing with relief, Steven laughed now.

"Onion." he said. Then, he frowned. "Wait a minute. Are you real or are you a part of the room?"

Onion smiled now, nodding his head once.

"So...you ARE real?" Steven guessed, tilting his head.

Onion's smile disappeared slowly. He opened his mouth. "You could be a part of it, Steven." he said, speaking.

Steven gasped, startled by the voice coming from Onion. He'd never heard the other boy talk before. So it HAD to be the room doing this.

Onion continued to stare. He blinked once. Then twice before his eyes were white with black diamond-shaped irises.

"What took you so long?" Onion said, chuckling in a lower voice. "I was looking for you the whole time."

Steven turned, but Onion was standing in front of him now. He gasped, looked over his shoulder to the place he used to be.

"I'm sorry, Steven. I lost it." he continued, still with that same chilling voice and diamond-eyes. "Don't be mad. Can you help me find it?"

"F-Find what?" Steven asked, warily.

"You know exactly what." Onion said, his voice deepening with colder intent.

Steven backed away, moments as Onion's shadow began to grow. And grow.

He saw the crest of large hair, enormous shoulders and eyes glowing. It looked a lot like White Diamond, so he turned and ran for the carousel nearby. It was playing unsettling music and Onion just smiled, waving with one hand.

Steven jumped onto the spinning carousel, mere seconds as white fire ignited in the room. He couldn't stop picturing White Diamond in his head. The room was possibly reflecting that now, so he struggled to calm himself, clutching one of the horses on the carousel.

"White Diamond isn't here..." he mumbled, to himself. "She's not real."

Steven opened his eyes and noticed the fire was gone. Onion was gone as well, leaving him alone once more. He sighed with relief.

O

"What are you doing now, White?"

White's hands tapped silently at the keypad before her. She ignored the set of cracked lips beside her ear, whispering to her. The familiar voice of Pink Diamond that she would hear haunting her every step.

Pink appeared to her, sometimes cracked and broken; it was an image that still haunted her after cradling her in her arms one last time. She loathed the image because it reminded her every day of what the Rebellion truly was - an act of evil.

"Are you going to ignore me forever?"

White calmly rose, walking down the corridors of her tower. Every screen around her crackled, filtering through static and the background sound of a low, frightening groaning sound. She ignored it, passing the occasional flickering images of Pink's eyes staring at her accusingly.

"My Diamond, it makes me happy to see you've considered talking," the Gray Star Sapphire at her feet said, "Blue and Yellow will be most pleased."

White smiled thinly. "They believe me to be ill. What say you, little Sapphire?"

She glanced down at the smaller gem, who looked uneasy. "I cannot say, my Diamond. A servant of a cause is no master of her own."

"Mm, well said."

They entered a chamber filled with various other Gray Star Sapphires. The one leading White looked at each of them before nodding once. Immediately, they hurried to perform their tasks; closing the curtains of the chamber, preparing an enormous chair for her.

White took a seat eventually and ran her hands across the arm rests. She seemed very content given the circumstances.

"Are you comfortable, my Diamond?" Gray Star Sapphire asked.

"I am. Thank you, Sapphire." White said, continuing to smile that same eerie smile. "Shall we begin? I understand Blue and Yellow want a report of our discussion soon. They feel it will help me."

"Alright." Gray Star Sapphire produced a holographic tablet from her gem. "We will start with questions."

Her hand was shaking a little and White noticed it. She chuckled softly and raised an eyebrow.

"Does my presence here make you nervous?" she questioned.

"N-No, my Diamond."

"Hm." White seemed to believe otherwise, but said nothing more on it. She raised one hand to the gem. "Well? Proceed with your questions."

Gray Star Sapphire smiled weakly. "Ah, of course." She looked down at the tablet. "Now these questions may be new to you, as I had received them upon my orders."

"Sapphire," White said, with a continuously eerie grin. "Begin."

"Yes, of course. Forgive me."

She took a deep breath and still seemed nervous about something before continuing. "You were present during the final moments of Pink Diamond's life, correct?'

White's fingers clutched the armrests, but her face betrayed nothing. "Correct."

"What emotions did you feel as it happened?"

White blinked once. She glanced to the side, spotting the illusion of Pink Diamond standing there, her form cracked and arms behind her back. She smirked once.

"Sorrow." White said, slowly, "Pain. Agonizing pain. Like watching my world fade away in a blaze of fire. Then..."

The Gray Star Sapphire looked at her cautiously. "Then?" she inquired.

White's eyes widened once, then relaxed with a detached aloofness. "Hate." she answered. "Nothing but hate. And then..." She smiled a little and it chilled the room. "Inspiration."

"Inspiration, my Diamond?"

"Inspiration to create Homeworld in the image it was intended to be," White continued, ignoring the static-filled groaning that reflected in monitors around them. "Suffering creates new ideas, new pathways for the future of the rest of us. Many must be sacrificed for the good of future generations. I had learned much from the Rebellion and it has allowed me to understand the errors of their creation."

"I...see." Gray Star Sapphire murmured, uncomfortable with the response. Still, she continued. "I was informed that you spent many cycles in isolation. During the isolated time, you informed Yellow that you could see Pink Diamond. Is this true?"

White's fingers clutched the armrests tighter now. "Yes."

"How often do you see her?"

Long nails dug into the arms of the chair, cracking them somewhat. Yet White's features were still strangely calm.

"Every day." she replied, with an edge.

"I see." Gray Star Sapphire said. She looked at the others watching them warily. "If my Diamond permits it..."

White stared at the others, her hands relaxing somewhat. "Very well. Do as you are made to do."

The gems cautiously approached her, stepping onto a few platforms that floated them up toward her head. They raised their hands and their gems resonated with soft white light. White closed her eyes.

When she opened them again, she was sitting in a room alone.

O

Steven didn't know how long he'd been on the carousel.

It continued to spin, playing the music as he stood up. Each horse on the carousel looked weathered and aged. He turned, looking over his shoulder when he spotted an exact duplicate of himself standing there.

Steven blinked, stunned by the sight.

A smile touched his duplicate's face before it flickered once like a television screen. His duplicate grew and was replaced with an image of Rose Quartz. Steven blinked once. Twice. He swallowed thickly, unnerved by the dark look on Rose's face.

"Brother. Son." Rose said, lowly. She clenched her teeth. "Self."

Steven shook his head rapidly. He backed away as Rose advanced. "Mom..." he mumbled, sorrowfully.

"You were meant to be free, Steven," she growled, "The part of me that could feel love and be loved!"

Steven didn't know why Rose was so aggressive in the room now. But either way, he had to keep his distance from her. Just as Connie had been attacked by his image of her, he very well could be all the same.

"It's all your fault! You did this to them!" Steven shouted, pointing at her accusingly. "White Diamond can't let go and now, Homeworld's coming to Earth to shatter all of us! And I..." He shook with anguish. "I can't stop it!"

"No. Of course you can't." Rose said, spitefully. "And how could you? You're not strong enough. You'll never be strong enough."

"That's a lie."

Steven turned toward another Rose Quartz standing there. She was pristine, with her white, flowing dress and star-shaped cutout on her belly. Her face was soft, yet hardened at the sight of the other Rose.

"You've been strong, Steven. Don't listen to this Rose Quartz. She will lie to you." she said, firmly.

"And this one wouldn't?" the colder Rose sneered, grinning at her. "Look at her with her charming facade and her perfect little lies. This one is the worst of them all, Steven. You know as well as I do what she's done."

"It's true," the pristine Rose said, sadly, "I have my share of regrets, many that I can't take back. All of those were put on you, Steven. And I'm sorry."

Steven lowered his eyes. The colder Rose chuckled and shook her head, leaning down and putting an arm around him. She whispered softly into his ear.

"Don't listen to her. She'll lie to you again." she hissed, "Doesn't that make you angry? How she lied to you? How she cheated you out of a childhood?"

Steven's fists clenched tightly. He did feel angry. But he also felt sad. Shaking his head rapidly, he struggled to ignore the feelings pent up inside of him; how angry he felt at the unfairness of all of it, the expectations he had been given since birth.

"Steven..." the pristine Rose said, kneeling before him. She set a hand on his shoulder and spoke gently, evenly. "I know you're angry at me. I know you're angry at the choices I made. You have every right to it. But I want to you to know that what I felt for you was no lie. THAT was the truth. I wanted you to be born Steven. My last shining hope in a universe that's been nothing but a nightmare."

Steven didn't feel so sure about that. He felt less like a 'shining hope' these days.

"You have the power to choose for yourself who you want to be," the pristine Rose told him. "You are your own person, Steven. Always."

Steven's hands slowly relaxed now.

He felt the room's energy slowly wane and the two Rose's disappeared. That was how the room had always been; it helped him solve questions to answers he didn't have.

Steven sighed. "Mom..."

O

White had been sitting in the room for a while.

She slowly looked around, realizing that this happened often times when she meditated; drifting away into the recesses of her own mind to solve the solutions she couldn't when she was aware of her world around her.

Whispers around her. Unsettling noises to others, but to White, she knew what they were.

She rose, stepped out of the room and into an equally empty corridor. She looked around calmly, seeking the very thing that had haunted her. The Gray Star Sapphires did quite well in their work. Of course, they were products of her design.

She wandered down the corridor, passing the same lines of doors until she began to notice a streal of pink along the wall. Pausing, White looked at it and followed it until she noticed a reflection of herself leaning against the wall, rubbing streaks of pink as far as she could go.

Whispers came from this thing; the robes in ruin. The hair disheveled and out of place. Nothing of this creature was White Diamond.

"...it was my fault..." the image mumbled. "...I made her. It was my fault..."

White's eyes slowly widened and she stepped away, clutching her face with one hand. Static filled her head again and she heard a soft chuckle echo in the corridor.

"I made her it was my fault..." the image continued to mumble and rub the hideous pink streaks along the wall as it walked forward. "My fault. All my fault."

White continued on, the mumbling sounds eventually fading as she searched for answers. She could hear distant crying from one of the rooms and stopped in front of a door. It was covered in scratches.

White raised one hand and the door opened. She stepped into a room that looked much like her research chamber. She saw another version of herself, sitting on the floor surrounded by destruction; knocking her head against the wall over and over again.

She didn't want to see this again.

"Look at you, White. You've become the monster they whisper about in the old tales. Logic no longer drives you, but madness and chaos. You have corrupted your purpose. The Rebellion doesn't have to bring down the Authority. You are already doing that to yourself. Bit by bit, you decay. Bit by bit, the cracks are showing. Then? Then, we will be waiting for you."

O

Laser weapon fire echoed in the air.

White's eyes snapped open and she noticed the Sapphires around her quickly scattering with frightened cries. They looked at her anxiously.

"My Diamond, rebels are stationed around the building!" one Gray Star Sapphire cried. "We must hurry before they find their way inside."

White looked up, smiling. "Rebels?"

"Yes. We overheard them talking. Apparently, they have been inspired by the rumors of the Crystal Gems making their return," the gem explained, "We must not delay, my Diamond! We must leave at once before you're targeted and shattered."

"Their intent is to shatter me?" White seemed amused by the notion. "They are certainly welcome to try. Come, Sapphire. Let us welcome these new rebels. Let all of Homeworld witness what defiance brings."

She rose and the Sapphire reluctantly followed behind her. White walked outside and noticed a few Quartz guards hiding behind statues. Some of them had already been dispelled and their gems lay uselessly in the dust.

"My Diamond!" one of them cried. "The buildings! Please, take cover before you're attacked!"

Instead, White calmly strolled out into the open, not flinching at all when several shots were made at her feet. A laser shot whistled barely passed her face and her smile widened. Gems around the scene watched with shock. They had always known how formidable White was, but they did not expect her to simply stroll her way out into open laser fire.

White stood in the very center of the courtyard and held her arms out, facing the direction the laser shots had come from. Her smile showed no hint of fear. Instead, she looked delighted and it had the gems hiding for cover so confused and stunned.

There were several gems hiding in a tower. One was a Jasper who clutched a laser cannon with a scope and focused the cross-hairs on White's Diamond's gem. She was smiling and continued to hold that pose. She mouthed words that had the Jasper's eyes narrowing venomously.

What's wrong, little rebel? Are you afraid?

"Afraid?" the Jasper spat. "I'M NOT AFRAID!"

She tossed the laser cannon aside and jumped from the tower. Several gems followed behind her. White leaned her head back with a smile of satisfaction, watching seven gems march toward her with determination and pride.

"Mmm, only seven?" she said, "I must admit, I expected much more."

"There will always be more," a Sapphire told her, firmly. "Always gems willing to defy you and put to rest your order. What you CALL order, anyway. They've been calling you The Mad Diamond. Shattering and twisting gems who don't obey you? What kind of Diamond does those things!?"

White lowered her arms slowly. Her gem began to glow and her words growled out with cruel delight. She did not seem disgusted by the notion of these gems facing her. Instead, she seemed to take great pleasure in it. "The one who will rid Homeworld of this illness. I will cleanse this little act of defiance and set an example for all of us." Fire ignited in the palm of her hands. "As I am made to do yet again."

She produced her scythe in her hands in a glorious blaze of white fire; the gems before her clasped hands, fusing together into a mismatched fusion that stood a head taller than White Diamond.

"Come then." White hissed, grinning widely.

O

The fusion charged for White with a bellowing war cry. The Diamond held her ground until being slammed hard. Her heels scraped back several feet as she restrained the fusion with her scythe to her throat.

"We know Rose did it!" the fusion spat, "We can do it, too! We WILL liberate Homeworld from your madness!"

White chuckled her eyes darkening. "Pity you won't live to see it."

The fusion's secondary arms moved and one fist punched White in the face. The Diamond barely jerked from it at all. She grinned wider, taking blow after blow. The force of those punches did nothing to sway her and the fusion was momentarily perplexed by the sight. She lowered her fist for a fraction of a second and White took her chance.

"There!" she hissed, between breathless laughter, "Ah-hah, there!"

She grasped the fusion's wrist with one hand, heating up her touch that had the fusion howling with pain and rage. She looked down at her hand, eyes widening as crystals formed around it. To be free, she kicked out her legs and it sent her falling backwards, taking the Diamond with her.

White grunted thickly and they scrambled for dominance before the fusion kicked out her legs again, knocking White back from her. Rolling onto her front, the fusion attempted to crawl away, clutching her crystallized arm.

White grabbed the fusion by the back of her neck, dragging her across the ground in an agonizing scraping sound. She grinned wickedly down at the fusion and stopped in front of a statue posing with a sword.

Dragging the fusion toward it, she leveled her head close to the tip of the stone blade, pushing hard toward it. The fusion clenched her teeth with effort, struggling to keep herself away from it. White laughed cruelly.

"Is this it?" she hissed, between strained sounds of effort and amusement, "Even after you've fused and taken those weak little things into your form. Is this TRULY all the power the new Rebellion can muster?"

The fusion gave a fierce shout of rage and pushed back hard enough to throw White from her. The Diamond lost her grip on her scythe and the fusion immediately seized it, swinging the weapon toward the Diamond. White stood still, embracing the fusion with both arms wrapped around her mere moments as the blade embedded itself into her abdomen.

Several gems around the scene gave collected gasps of shock and horror. The fusion stared down at White in disbelief, grimacing when two hands quickly cupped her face. White's face betrayed nothing save for her mouth hanging open for a moment. Then, it stretched up into a wide grin.

"Silly creature, you forget that this weapon is made from me," she purred, "I cannot be harmed by it. But you?" Her fingers pressed harder into the fusion's eyes, drawing a gasp of pain from her lips. Her grin widened viciously. "You will suffer a thousand deaths by my hand."

The fusion gave a shout as she was immediately bombarded with terrible images in her head; flashes of memories belonging to White about Pink shattering in her hand. Suffering from the pain of it. All of her pain had become the fusion's.

"All of it, fusion!" White spat, her gem glowing brighter, "All of her pain! All for you!"

The fusion choked, struggling to pry her hands from her face, but to no avail; White's mental powers ripped through her mind with little effort. She was seeing the memory play in her head over and over again and feeling every bit of emotion that came with it.

She loosened her grip on White's arms and the fight had all but left her. White's gem glowed and the fusion was forced to separate, falling to the ground in a pile of moaning gems.

White's shadow loomed over them.

"You will pay a price for your defiance," she promised, with an eerie grin on her face, "And I will have you set the example for the rest of Homeworld. This is what your drive for freedom brings. This is what hope brings."

"Please..." a Sapphire begged.

"No. You will not be shattered here, my misbegotten ones." White promised. "But I assure you, for the next thousand years, your dearest wish will be that you had."

O

The Gray Star Sapphires had been huddled in the corner of the room and looked up when White entered again. She sighed, shaking her head before taking her seat. Looking toward the gems curiously, she tilted her head.

"Well? Do you intend to resume?" she asked.

The Gray Star Sapphire's hesitated for a moment, but then made their way back to their original places.

"Of course, my Diamond." one of them said.

Much later that evening, White was standing alone in her tower. The Gray Star Sapphire's efforts proved futile. She felt nothing after the discussion and walk through her mind. The static was still there and the haunting image of Pink wandered around the room.

"Mm, all problems solved, White?" Pink queried, with a chuckle. "Not quite."

White blinked rapidly, taking a shaking inhale.

"They are right, you know. They sing songs about The Madness of White Diamond," Pink continued, crouched on top of one of White's monitors. "You're seeing it, aren't you? Today you've taken those Rebels hoping for a better life and twisted them because you could. How many lives are you willing to ruin to ease your pain?"

White ignored her, making her way to a holographic screen. As soon as her fingers started to press a few symbols, Yellow made her way into her tower.

"White, I just received word of what happened," she said. "What did you do with the self-proclaimed Rebel gems?"

White didn't look back at her. "What do you THINK I did?"

"Mm, I see," Yellow put on an air of calm, "As you do. I am beginning to believe we should hasten the arrival of the Cluster. Put an end to this miserable spectacle once and for all."

"Do what comforts you. I have my own little experiment to perform."

"As I recall the Cluster WAS your experiment. In fact, it was your idea to begin with."

White still refused to look back at her. Instead, her nails began to scrape along the sides of the console. A loud, agonizing noise that chilled the temperature in the room. Yellow stared cautiously down at the hands clawing the console before she sighed.

"Am I to assume the trip to your sapphires went poorly? There are always better ways, White. You know as well as I."

"Really?" White's voice dripped with coldness that dropped the temperature in the room several degrees further.

"Yes." Yellow ignored the tone in her voice. "We can be rid of that memory of Pink's shattering right now. Destroy Earth and everything with it. We can look forward. That is your goal for Homeworld, is it not?"

White considered her words. She shut her eyes at the sound of static and groaning in her head. She turned and smiled brightly. Far too bright in a manner that had Yellow suddenly uncomfortable in her presence.

"Indeed. You are correct, dearest Yellow." she told her. "Homeworld is crumbling worse than I had imagined." She seemed distracted and glanced to the side. "Mm, yes. Much work still to be done."

Yellow made a face. "Very well. I'll be departing with Blue shortly."

She started to go, but paused in the doorway of White's tower and glanced back at her. White was focused on something else on one of her monitors and she sighed heavily through her nose. The door shut behind her, casting the eldest Diamond into darkness.

"White?" Pink queried. "You know the time will come when you must face everything. You will have to let me go. Are you ready to do that?"

White rubbed her eyes with one hand.

A small chuckle, laced with anguish escaped her lips.

O

Note - The fight with White and the Homeworld rebels was inspired by the OST "Battle Against Each Other" by Shogo Ohnishi and Tetsuya Takahashi