KEEPER: Write about someone turning into a household pet (by choice or otherwise) and living as one for a while

Character: Harry Potter

Word count: 1,043

Inspiration was taken from "Broken Wings" by Snapegirlkmf. I absolutely loved that story.

000

Harry's life had taken a turn for the worst. He'd lost his godfather at the end of fifth year, been told his life was at Fate's whim, and to top it all off, he'd just barely been caught by the Wizarding World's version of animal control while in his animagus form of an owl. It certainly didn't help that he hadn't exactly been able to transform back without help before Sirius died. So now he was stuck as a Sooty Owl, a breed known for being strictly nocturnal, in a loud, cramped, and smelly shop, with his only hope of escape being someone buying him. Great. Just great.

"Oh, Mama, I want this one! Isn't she just precious?" Was that? Oh dear, it was. Lavender Brown had just insulted his manhood and became his savior! He could tell this wasn't going to end well - for him.

000

Dear Merlin, he had to get away! He had to find a way to escape! He knew Lavender was a stereotypical girl from school, always obsessing over her looks and whatever boy had caught her eye, but this was insane! It was insulting! Degrading! If anyone ever found out, he'd never live it down! Why did she cast the body bind spell on him before he could get away?!

"There! All done! Aren't you the most beautiful owl ever? Pink really suits your feathers, Penelope!"

AND WHY DID SHE HAVE TO USE PINK?!

000

No. No no no no. Nooooo! He was DOOMED! Parvati was spending the entire week with the Browns while her family visited their family in India. Lavender was bad enough on her own! With Parvati, he'd be lucky to ever be able to look at any color besides brown and black again without running - or flying - away in terror!

'Why is this my life?' Harry thought in a rare moment of anything besides panic and terror. Who knew girls could be so… terrifying?

000

It was official. Harry had developed a phobia of any bright colors and the sound of girls laughing. He'd probably never be able to stay in the same room as Lavender or Parvati once he finally managed to escape, but he was absolutely fine with that.

"Penelope! Time for your mineral feather bath! It's lavender scented this time!"

Nooooo! His escape could not come soon enough!

000

Somehow, somehow, he finally managed to escape. Honestly, he couldn't care less how it happened, just that he was free. Harry flew as fast and as far as he could before landing amidst a small grove of trees and coaching himself tirelessly - for hours on end - through the reverse transformation. Once in human form again, he went to the nearest bus terminal and bought himself a ticket to Charing Cross Road, thankful he at least had enough muggle money on himself to do so at his time of capture. Once there, Harry made his way into the Leaky Cauldron and floo'ed to the Burrow in hopes that he'd be safe from girly girls and overly bright colors.

He'd been caught by the Wizarding animal control within a week or two of being sent back to the Dursleys, and he escaped the week after his birthday. He'd spent just over a month with that crazy bint, and the only good thing to come of it was the knowledge that mineral baths worked wonders on his hair. After his… experiences, though, he'd never be able to stand floral scents again. If he continued using mineral baths for his hair, he would most definitely stay away from anything fruity or flowery. He'd probably go mint or something, maybe spruce or pine. Freshly cut grass, perhaps?

Dear Merlin, he'd never be free. His time under the Browns roof would NOT be remembered fondly.

000

"HOW CAN YOU BE DATING THAT CRAZY BINT, RON?!" Harry roared in terror. Apparently, he had developed a phobia to the name Lavender, as well.

"What are you talking about?! Lavender isn't crazy! And DON'T CALL HER A BINT!" Ron roared back.

Harry flinched at the use of her name. "I've seen things, Ron. Terrible things. I barely escaped with my life."

"Stop being overdramatic, Harry!" Hermione scolded, joining her two friends with a book in hand.

"But Hermione, it's the truth! She color codes her hair ties! HER HAIR TIES!"

"I know that, Harry, I'm her roommate. The state of our bathroom...," Hermione said, shuddering at the thought of the disaster that was the shared bathroom of the sixth year Gryffindor girls dormitory. "What I want to know, though, is how you know that," she said with a raised eyebrow.

"All I'm going to say is I will do everything in my power to save any and all pets I find out she has!"

Hermione's eyes grew wide then narrowed as she realized what he wasn't saying. "Harry James Potter, you better not have seen anything!"

"If you're talking about the many ways a teenage girl can torture innocent animals, then I've seen plenty!"

"So you didn't see-"

"For merlin's sake, Hermione, I swear on my life and magic, the ONLY things I saw were TORTURE methods disguised as BEAUTY PRODUCTS and CLOTHES!"

Nodding in satisfaction, she said, "Good. I hope you've learned your lesson, though!"

"Oh, I have!" Harry said in faux enthusiasm. "I've finally learned what it takes to tame my hair!"

"That's not what I - UGH!!" Hermione threw her hands up in frustration before storming off.

Harry turned to look at Ron. Ron was staring at Harry with wide eyes. "Blimey, mate. I've never seen Hermione blow up like that before."

Harry grinned slightly. Maybe he'd be alright after all.

"Parvati! Penelope's still missing! I never even got to introduce her to Won-Won!" came the sound of Lavender's voice from the girls dorms.

He'd spoken too soon. 'I'll never be free from her, will I? I may be featherless, but still her voice haunts me! Merlin's beard, I can even SMELL her from HERE

The End