"Which, as you know, means – wait. You probably don't know. Do you know? Does the future have – HEY I NEEDED THAT!" Wade interrupted his rant as one of the baddies of the day cut off his right hand. "HOW DARE YOU? Would you like it if I cut off your hand?" Deadpool yelled, doing just that. The bad guy screamed and fell to his knees, his head falling to the ground immediately after. "HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT – oh. Right." Wade trailed off as he kicked the head.

Cable groaned, "Jesus. Do you ever shut up?"

"Nope!" Deadpool skipped over to him. "Anyway. What was I saying?" He looked at Cable expectantly.

Before Nate could do anything more than glare, Wade clapped his remaining hand. Somehow. "I got it! 'Golden Girls'! You need to watch it!"

Deadpool babbled on about someone called Bea Arthur and how she was the sexiest woman ever as Cable stared at him. "Will you shut up if I watch it?"

"You'll need to try harder than that," Deadpool said with a wink.

"Fuck off."

"Want to help me with that?"

A fist to the face was the only answer Wade received.

Deadpool was doing his damnedest to get drunk, despite the impossibility of that task. He was, however, doing an admirable job of acting like it. "So, after I helped all the handi-capable children out of the tree, Chris Evans was just so grateful and impressed that he begged me to run away with him. I told him I'm married to my job. Broke his precious heart. Before disappearing into the night, I did plant one on him, to remember me by. Best kiss of his life." Wade's story was accompanied by grandiose gesturing – on his part – and much hooting from the bar's other patrons.

"Is there any way to shut him up?" Cable asked Weasel over the bar.

Weasel snorted nervously. He still wasn't particularly comfortable around the time-travelling mutant. "Hah! Not unless you've got a gag on you. And even that's debatable."

Nate grunted in acknowledgment. He downed another beer, trying to drown out the rest of the bar.

"Hey, grumpy-puss!" Deadpool slung his arm over Cable's shoulder suddenly. "Whatcha doing all the way over here?"

Cable side-eyed Wade. "I was enjoying the silence, you nattering dildo."

The mercenary pouted. "Aww, don't be like that. You know you love me!" Cable rolled his eyes at Wade's whiny tone.

As Deadpool prattled on about exactly how lovable he is, an idea formed in Cable's mind. He slowly applied lip balm, internally debating his plan. A quick glance over at Wade's animated face made his decision easy.

"Fuck it."

"Fuck what –"

Wade's query was abruptly cut off by Nate hauling him into a rather lewd kiss. Catcalls erupted, and something shattered from behind the bar. Nate pulled back, a smug smirk on his face. Wade gaped at him, doing a fabulous impression of a fish. Weasel was gagging in the background, but neither party noticed; they only had eyes for each other.

"Wha-wha-what…" Wade trailed off, words failing him.

"Huh. Guess there is a way to shut you up," laughed Cable, winking at him.

"You asshole!" The mercenary turned to get up, but the older man grabbed his arm.

"Where do you think you're going, handsome?" Deadpool's reply was once again cut off by Cable's mouth on his. He found he really didn't mind being shut up.