Hello and welcome to the first chapter of These Stupid Wizards!

disclaimer: I am obviously not Rick or JK Rowling because I am posting this on here instead of in book format on the shelves of millions of bookstores.

Nico knew things were bad when his father came out of the underworld. He had just been sitting outside the Apollo cabin with will solace when a crack appeared in the ground. They both jumped up and Nico, realising what was happening several seconds before his boyfriend fell to his knees.

"Father…" he said in a respectful yet resentful tone.

"Son. I come here on urgent business."

"Um… yes father. I'll take you to Chiron now." Nico gestured to the right, ignoring the 'what the hades is going on looks from Will.

Hades strode down the path with an aura of death radiating off his powerful form as campers dropped down in shock. Nico was right behind him smirking. When he reached the large white cottage, hades gestured for Nico to wait outside and stepped in.

From what Nico could hear, hades seemed to be having a rather heated argument with Chiron and Mr D who, from the devastated yelling, was seething with anger about the interruption of his Pac-man game.

"Pac-man is one of the best games of the millennia! Not to mention I invented it! You can't just interrupt me!"

Hades stifled a sigh. Dionysus was always complaining about one thing or another. Hades honestly didn't see why Zeus made him a god in the first place. Anyway. Back to the task at hand.

"Chiron. You must understand. This mission is of the utmost importance. Our entire existence is at a risk."
The centaur shook his head firmly in an infuriating manner. What Hades wouldn't give to blast him into pieces right then but Zeus would probably wage war on him…

"Lord Hades. I can't just let the boy go off like that. You know what he's been through. He can't be asked to fight him of all people!" Chiron protested loudly.

Ten minutes later, Nico was just getting to the end of his patience and had summoned a skeletal mouse to keep him company when he heard his father calling his name. Trudging into the rec room, he was met by two solemn gazes meeting his own. Nico had learned a long time ago that it was futile trying to stare down hades but he still found himself trying.

"Nico, we… I, have a mission for you." His father stated.

"I see. "He said "and what is it?" Nico somewhat bitterly questioned.

"You are aware, I am sure of the existence of wizards…" Chiron tentatively said

"Yeah, mortals or legacies blessed by Hecate. What of it?" the reality dawned on Nico's face before he got an answer. "You want me to infiltrate them. Kill someone."

"Yes." Hades said bluntly.

"Well…" Chiron came in "You are to aid in the defeat of a certain dark lord named… tom riddle. A ghost of a shocked expression crossed Nico's face but was quickly replaced with a neutral one. "You are to join the school of Hogwarts not as a student but a teacher and…"

"Chiron?" Nico interrupted, "I'm thirteen."

"We are aware of that fact, son." Hades said "I have enlisted the help of the goddess of magic. She will, how do I put this? Age you up a little."

"WHAT! And no one told me of this? I assume I have no choice in the matter?"

"As usual Nico, you are right. "the god sighed and looked down. "Hecate will be here in an hour and you leave tomorrow at eleven." The son of Hades nodded, forced into submission.

"Yes father"

"Go and enjoy yourself while you can, Nico." And with that, the king of the underworld vanished, merged with the shadows.

Nico ran out of the porch and down the path to his boyfriend's cabin leaving several people staring in his wake including two grinning sons of Hermes.

"I can't do this Will!" Will Solace was sitting in the meadow with an even paler than usual son of Hades. As his arms wrapped around Nico's waist and his lips moved closer to the latter's. he felt his boyfriend relax a little from his tense position and snuggle up to Will but Will could sense that he was still on edge. Nico had come running straight to him and after a solid five minutes of talking (the most, Will thought Nico had ever done) the younger boy simply collapsed onto the ground in dismay. Now it was all Will could do from stopping the cracks in the ground from getting any bigger. Suddenly, there was a bright flash, blinding Will who then, feeling a godly presence kneeled, dragging Nico with him.

"Lady Hecate."

"If I could borrow Nico di Angelo, it is time."

Although he looked terrified, Nico got up and followed the goddess to the infirmary. Will followed, figuring since he was head medic, he should probably be there anyway; Clarisse had been in the arena earlier.
In the infirmary, Will watched as Nico was forced into a bed despite his protests and stared as Hecate brought out a wooden stick and pointed it at the boy while pouring a potion of some sort down Nico's gaping throat. She muttered some indistinguishable words in Latin Will thought and a jet of blue shot straight at Nico. Will was tempted to do something. Run into the way but something stopped him. This was the goddess of magic. She probably knew what she was doing. When she was finished, Hecate waved her hand and a veil drew across the room, shielding her and her 'patient' from view.
"He will be up in an hour. Be ready for a surprise."
Will didn't know what she meant. Nico was being 'aged' but he didn't know by how much or what was going to happen but he patiently went and tended to his patients – all victims of Clarisse's rage. When the agonising hour of waiting was up, Will, along with Chiron and a few others walked or trotted into Nico's section. With Hecate's confirmation that it worked, Will rushed to Nico's bedside. He didn't know what to expect but what he certainly didn't was this. A remarkably good looking eighteen year olds face peacefully slept with no signs of the usual nightmares. Nico's face had become less childish and his eyes seemed to be staring right into your soul even when he was sleeping. Nothing new there. His hair was maybe a little messier and when Will lifted off the covers, his chest moved in an undulating rhythm.. Will quickly shoved the duvet back when the sleeping Nico turned and groaned.

"Wha… what happened?" Nico stammered, and then recoiled at the sound of his voice which was several octaves deeper than usual. "Will? Where am I?"

Will sighed and answered "In the infirmary." The look on the son of Hades' face was priceless as his memory came back to him.

"So it's true then. I'm eighteen."
"Yep." Will said trying to hide the fear in his voice. This was unnatural. As a healer, Will disapproved of anything like this and yet here Nico was.

"Will…" Nico mumbled drowsily

"Um, yeah?"

"This means I'm older than you. And… oh my gods!" the boy stumbled out of bed and nearly collapsed as will went to put his hands around the familiar waist that he had helped so many times. It wasn't there. "Taller than you!" said a voice from above. Nico di Angelo was standing about a head taller than his boyfriend and looked pretty damn smug about it.
After putting on some clothes that Hecate had mercifully left there, Nico looked ready to leave so naturally, Will said, "ok di Angelo. You may be older than me now but you're going back in bed. I want another day at least here."

Will was trying to keep himself from smiling but before he could do or say anything else, Nico had hobbled out of the infirmary and was away down the path.

Campers around the cabins at that moment saw a very strange sight. What looked a little like Nico di Angelo but older was sprinting as fast as he could while a livid son of Apollo chased him shouting vaguely medical insults. As they neared the big house, Chiron cantered out and stopped short at the sight of an aged son of hades being called a Faecal Encephalopathy. While no one knew what it meant, they could tell it was not a compliment.

It was the morning of the next day. Nico di Angelo sighed and tumbled out of bed, still not used to his new body. Nico was wondering why he felt like there was lead in his stomach until he remembered. Today was the day he was going to that blasted school. Hogwarts. Remembering that he was leaving at eleven, Nico decided to actually get up and ready. Of course, he usually wasn't even awake until ten but the ghost king figured Chiron wouldn't be happy if he was kept waiting although that guy had a remarkable amount of patience. Anyway. Nico pulled on a t-shirt and jeans and looked around for his aviator jacket. It was on the table but was several sizes too small for him. Angrily, Nico stomped around the hades cabin. Lately, he had been very reluctant to show any part of his body to anyone. This however was not because of stupid teenage embarrassment but because of the scars. So many scars from so many sources. The titan war had given him a few of course. Everyone had some but then Nico just had to have some of the worst luck. First there was his roman tattoo. He had not been happy about that and had struggled, causing Octavian to bring out his knife. The knife usually reserved for stuffed toys had given Nico a few wounds. Not fatal but enough to make will face palm. Then, there was that time in the jar and fighting the giants. Nico shuddered at the memory. Most of the scars came from another place. Not a place Nico was ever likely to talk or even think about. Percy had tried to talk to him about Tartarus. He had been there too but that was different. Percy had had Annabeth with him all the way. Keeping him from going insane in that place. Even now, Nico would often break down in private. no. he shook his head. He was going to start over. A new life. It would be great! He thought, trying and failing to reassure himself.

At eleven, Nico made his way to the big house after a half hour of kissing Will and promising that he'd eat.
"Ah. So this must be Mr di Angelo?" an old man's voice drifted across to Nico. "Well if you are ready to go, we will be apparating to Diagon Alley."

Nico raised a questioning eyebrow. "Apparating?"

"It's a form of teleportation."

"I see. Well mr…"

"Dumbledore. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore."

"Mr.. Dumbledore, I have my own methods. I will see you in this diagon alley."

Nico." Chiron warned "Go with Professor Dumbledore. And please. Do not use any of your abilities in the Wizarding world if you can help it."

Nico nodded and went over to Dumbledore. The elderly wizard told him to take his arm and then...
the feeling that Nico experienced next was quite unlike any he had feat before. Not like shadow travelling. That was more cold and fast. This felt like your body was being torn in half and then re-joined in all the wrong places. Nico was surprised when they stopped outside a pub.

"In here please" Dumbledore said calmly. The boy followed him through the pub and out to a brick wall. The wizard pulled out a wooden stick like the one Hecate used and tapped a particular brick. Nico stepped back surprised but suspiciously followed the professor through a grand arch way that had suddenly appeared.

Harry was having a bad day. First, he had been chucked out of the Dursley's house and had had a frankly terrifying ride on the knight bus. Then, he had found out that a murderer wanted to kill him and had met the minister of magic. Harry was not in the mood for anything else. That was until he saw Professor Dumbledore with a strange young man. The guy looked over age - about eighteen and was wearing muggle clothing far too normal for him to be a wizard. Dumbledore's guest was lugging a large suitcase and appeared to be on the way to Ollivander's shop. Harry decided to follow them discreetly.

In the wand makers, Nico slumped over as he waved yet another wand. The last one had created a small hurricane which blew a manically laughing Mr Ollivander off his feet. The results of this particular wand were not quite as drastic but still created an explosion worthy of Leo.

After shaking his head vigorously, Olivander seemed to remember something an darted to the back of the shop. Nico who had been left alone, stood and looked about him. The Wizarding world was full of colour and laughter but also a foreboding presence. There were posters up on many shop windows of a criminal called Sirius Black who, Nico knew from talking to two spirits in Elysium was simply a misunderstood man who often ridiculed for his heritage. These people were the only reason Nico knew of the wizards in the first place. They had been at this school - Hogwarts before being killed brutally. Lily and James Potter. Nico traced a few of his scars while softly saying their names. He wished he could see them now. They would tell him what to do in this crazy world but Chiron has told him not to summon anyone while here. The ghost kings thoughts were interrupted by the return of Ollivander who was chuckling to himself.

"You are something special aren't you Mr di Angelo. I know a half blood when I see one. "

"I... I..." Nico was lost for words. Someone had already discovered his secret.

"I'm cabin six. You?"

Nico hesitated. If this was a son of Athena, he was likely to know if he was lying. "Thirteen."

Ollivander gave him a slightly shocked look before handing another wand to him.

"I keep these wands especially for our kind Mr di Angelo. I feel, given your parentage, this one will do you well. Elder wood, thestral hair, thirteen inches. Dipped in the river Styx, virtually indestructible. Most suitable for a powerful young man like you."

"Thank you." Was all Nico said as he took the wand. Immediately he felt a surge of divine power run through him. This wand felt just the same as his stygian iron sword – probably the effects of the Styx.

Nico walked out of the shop in a much better mood than he had come in. then he stopped. Turning quickly round, he lashed out his hand on to the collar of a young boy.

"You. Why were you following me?"

I hope you enjoyed that. The story will be in various P. as you can see and it's pretty random who's. Mostly Harry and Nico though.