/iT/IMG_0001. mp4

The screen flickers on as the camera begins to record the office of Headmaster Ozpin of Beacon Academy. In the corner of the screen a digital time and date flash along with other symbols overtop of the footage it captures. In its view is the entrance to the office; an elevator door at the end of the office can be seen along with an empty wooden chair sitting perfectly in frame of the viewfinder. For a few moments the screen does not change, the digital timer ticking on. But soon Headmaster Ozpin himself walks in front of the camera from off frame. He stares dead into the lens, slowly pacing around the room. Ozpin slowly moves towards the camera. He squints with a piercing gaze, his concentration on the lens and the lens only, as he continues to advance. His progress halts almost as quickly as it began. Ozpin puts his face directly in front of the camera, staring into it as if it were a peephole.

"Hmmm… curious…" Ozpin mutters as he brings his cup of coffee to his lips. Taking a deep sip his face moves from a tone of pondering to a relaxed one. As he moves the cup from his mouth he finally seems to have an air of resolution about himself. It's as if he has finally finished his assessment and found his answer in that one sip of his coffee. The beginning of a smile comes across his face as he closes his eyes. The powerful figure turns to address the camera itself, his posture showing his confidence in his decision and readiness for his address. He finally opens his mouth and delivers his first proper statement to the viewer of the footage that he has been recording.

"Well, I have no idea if this thing is working. Better call Glynda." Ozpin says with complete confidence and resolution.

As Ozpin turns and walks towards the elevator, cane swinging in hand, the camera begins to beep. The screen shows a red battery symbol with a slash through it, however it is clear from the distressed headmaster he can neither see nor would he even know what that would mean. Hearing the sound Ozpin's head darts all over the room as he scans for the source. His eyes finally are drawn to the source.

The camera.

His eyes are now open wide in panic. Thinking fast the headmaster does the only logical thing to do when an unknown electronic device begins to beep loudly.

"BOMB!"

As Ozpin yells, he throws his mug at the camera with the speed and force only capable of a Hunter who has honed his craft for years through grueling training. The camera goes flying, as can be interpreted by the displayed image darting between the roof, the floor and the desk of the office in a rapid manner, until it finally stops. The new view is of the window of the esteemed headmaster's room at a sideways angle. His coffee mug is just in frame allowing for the camera to capture the liquid soaking into the carpet. It was a really nice carpet too. The sound of feet stomping down the stairs is the last thing that is heard before the battery cuts out.

/iT/IMG_0002. mp4

The camera turns back on, the battery fully charged. The view has changed from the view of the floor to the puzzled expression of one Glynda Goodwitch looking at the lens, which now bears a few small scratches on it.

"I… I think it's working...? I plugged it into the charger and the screen flickered on, but I don't know if its recording…" Professor Goodwitch comments as she sets the camera back to its original position, giving the original view of the room and the chair.

From behind her Ozpin's head slides into frame, an expression that can only be read as 'not my problem' plastered on his face. Professor Goodwitch continues to fiddle with the controls different effects engage at random; night vision filters, focus controls and white balance toggle off and on. Her face begins to contort, going from a range of emotions such as confusion, frustration, rage and finally defeat as she aggressively hits buttons in her search for the 'Record' button. The frame jiggles from the amount of force she hits the buttons with.

After a while the view returns to normal, however one feature stays on in the end. A timer beginning to count down in the corner of the screen with a clock icon next to it.

The 'timed still capture' icon.

Seeing her efforts are for naught, the witch decides that there is no use and plants herself in the chair behind her with her face down and body loose in exhaustion. In a sign of solidarity Ozpin puts his hand on her shoulder.

"I think we should call in our hail Mary, Glynda." Ozpin says with a sigh. In a form of agreement Goodwitch weakly lifts her scroll into the air.

"Agreed…" she replies, the feeling of surrender dripping in the word. Just as she was about to hit the call button the camera timer reaches 5 seconds remaining causing the camera to beep twice in warning once again. Immediately Goodwitch's head snaps to the camera. Her mind begins to whirl with possibilities of what it could mean. At the same time Ozpin sees the look in Glynda's eye's and begins to recall a similar scene from earlier today. A feeling of dejavu overcoming him-

"Glynda wait-"

5

In the end Glynda comes to the only logical conclusion…

4

"-the noise I heard earlier- "

3

There truly is only one reason an electronic device would begin beeping.

2

"I think it may have been- "

1

"BOMB!" Goodwitch screeches as she tackles Ozpin.

/iT/IMG_0003. jpg

The camera captures a picture of the scene as a purple hue engulfs the lens. Glynda in mid swing of her crop as she tackles Ozpin. The headmaster attempts to push her off with a surprised expression. His coffee, mid spill, is frozen in time.

/iT/IMG_0004. jpg

The next shot is of the window shattering from the camera flying out it to look almost beautiful in a way. The fragments of glass look almost like pink gems as the violet hue of the ground the rushes to meet the camera.

/iT/IMG_0005. jpg

Just as impact is about to be captured the camera makes its final still capture. Its of the Camera looking back up at the now broken window. Glynda looks down at the device with a look of panic, while Ozpin just sips his coffee with a hand on her shoulder.

/iT/IMG_0006. mp4

The camera cuts back to the chair setup, now with more cracks in the lens. However, surprisingly, the image is still clear enough to tell what is going on without any real issue. The number of cracks is not the only thing to increase however, as the number of people on screen has multiplied with the additions of Professor Port and Doctor Oobleck, who are currently arguing about what to do. In the back Ozpin sits in the chair, head looking to the ceiling with a bored expression, while Professor Goodwitch holds the manual, a frustrated look on her face.

"Bart, my old chum," Port begins as he moves out of the view of the camera. "The screen seems to now have a red circle in the corner… curious…"

"Excellent, I believe that we should consult the manual as it would give us a better idea of what the meaning of the symbols in this strange device could mean in relation to the functionality of it, as well as lead to our discovery of whether it is now recording or if it is still in its stasis mode." Oobleck replies as he walks over to Glynda. "Ms. Goodwitch, if you would, I would like to-"

Before he can finish Goodwitch shoves the manual into his hands and walks away. She walks over to Ozpin who in turn hands her a cup of tea from a tray out of the frame. Shrugging, Oobleck opens it and begins to read the content of the book.

"Let's see… 'Welcome to your Consumer Manual for your i7 Scroll – Professional Office Version-. This 2000-page manual will acquaint you will all the functions that your device is capable of, as well as how to use each feature to a mastery level. For the best quality it is recommended you read this booklet back-to-back so that you can have a full understanding of the power of that is at your fingertips.' Huh, well I guess I should read the whole thing first…"

"DON'T." A chorus of replies yell in response.

"Hmm... suit yourself… Let me advance ahead to the section dealing with recording… I don't understand why we could not just use the older cameras we used to use prior to our implementation of these scrolls, the hand crank camera projector still works wonderfully, and they were always reliable to us, why stop using them now?"

"Well Bart, with the times changing we too must adapt to what is now available to us." Ozpin answers in his usual calm confidence. "How can we expect our students to be the best Huntsmen they can be if we ourselves are not caught up with the modern er-?"

"Ozpin was talking to James about some of the new equipment Atlas was installing and he doesn't want to lose to him." Glynda says in her matter-of-fact tone. "Plus, Vale says we need to completely move all our record to a digital format, so we can have all the information available on the CCT since it has been too difficult for students and faculty to access our physical records."

"Well I for one am somewhat opposed to this claim Glynda as although I do encourage students to advance themselves through learning they should also learn about some of the older technologies that we once used as to understand how our society advanced to where it is and can better appreciate-"Before Oobleck could go on a full rant about the merits of older technology Port clapped a meaty hand into his shoulder with a hearty laugh.

"It's okay Bart, we all know you are 'technologically challenged'-" he says while making air quotes.

"T-technologically challenged?!" Oobleck blurts, almost dropping the manual.

"- and I understand! I for one never use anything I couldn't build myself!"

"So only rocks and pointy sticks then?" Glynda mumbles as she sips her tea. Not hearing her Port continues.

"Yes! Only the manliest of men can survive without the aid of technology, and what am if not such? Now then! What have you learnt old friend?" He turns to Oobleck who quickly scanned the manual. He looks up to everyone with a smile.

"If I am correct which I believe I am that red symbol means that the camera is in fact operational and therefore recording as per the devices camera function should!" Everyone in the room exclaims with cheer, high fives exchanged as if the teachers had defeated an extremely deadly Grimm and just gotten out with their lives. In their excitement they did however miss an indicator on the screen stating, 'low storage space'. For a third time that day the scroll began to beep. Four sets of heads turned, two in recognition, one n confusion and another-

Peter Port had never heard such a noise. Such a whining, intolerable noise. He had heard the cries of an army of Grimm, the howls of a murder of nevermores, the screeches of a crowd of teenage girls after seeing his muscular form… and yet this high-pitched noise… his face turned red. His eyes went wide. His body began to perspire. His veins became visible. He released his peers who had begun to hug each other in celebration and covered his ears, letting out a manly cry of rage.

"gggGGGGRAAAAAHHH!" Port ripped off his shirt and blazer in one quickly motion, exposing his Manly Chest to the world.

"Port! Wait!" The rest of the room cried, but is was too late, he had grabbed the chair in one hand and lunged at the Scroll.

"DIE FOUL GRIMM SPAWN!" And with that the cycle once again repeated a chair came flying at the lens while Goodwitch, Oobleck and Ozpin try to restrain the enraged Port. And then the storage filled up, cutting the video short.

/iT/IMG_0007. mp4

The screen flashes back on. A blond teen looked over the lens one more time. The lens was in a bad way, but nothing he could do about it. He rubbed it with a cloth, then frowned when it made it worst. The teen looked off frame behind the scroll and addressed those off screen.

"yeah, and so when you hit that button the red light comes on like I said, and the digital timer starts. If you hit the button again it will stop and ask if you want to save the footage." The boy rubbed his hands, getting the dust off them.

"Thank you, mister Arc, that was very informative." Oobleck could be heard saying off camera.

"-And what of… the noise?" Peter asked from off camera as well.

"Huh? You mean the storage warning sound? I cleared some of the older footage and put it on the CCT cloud to back it up. All the newer recording should go there from now on, so no need to worry about the storage filling up again."

"Ah… Good." Ports voice said, with a bit of confusion.

"Well then Mr. Arc thank you for helping us with this, we really had no idea what we were doing." Ozpin said, a slurp heard off camera as well. "Well with that the rest of this should be a bit of a formality really. Isn't that right Glynda?"

"Yes, well Mr. Arc has definitely shown his aptitude with technology." Glynda said off camera.

"Thank you...?" Jaune said, rubbing the back of his head. As he sat down in the wooden chair, which was being held together with duct tape. "I… had a lot of time to mess with this stuff in my free time… I BETWEEN MY HUNTSMEN TRAINING OF COURSE!" The last bit added in a bit of a rush.

"Splendid. Well, I'm sure you know why we called you in today." Said Ozpin.

"...because you called me in..?" Jaune said, as he eyes darted around nervously.

"I know it must be nerve racking to be asked to be interviewed before we send out acceptance and rejection letters, however we saw your application and noted something that made you stand out to us."

"Y-yeah...?" Jaune could be seen sweating on camera.

"Glynda if you would?"

"Yes headmaster. We noted that you did not include any letter of recommendation. Because of this we must reject your application to enter our school as a huntsman in training."

"Oh… I see..." Jaune deflated in his chair, his face drooping.

"Yes, we are sorry Mr. Arc. This must be confusing for you as your listed skills would have let you make it to our initiation."

"W-well then could you possibly look past the letter then?" Jaune said as his hands out, his face almost pleading.

"Unfortunately, no, rules are rules. You are welcome to reapply next year though." Ozpin's voice held a bit of regret in his tone. "Now, we noted that you listed skills with technology on your application. Is that true?"

Jaune nodded a little hollowly. There were some whispers behind the camera. Once they stopped Ozpin spoke.

"Mr. Arc What if I told you there was a way for you to to this academy?"

Jaune's head snapped up and looked off camera to where Ozpin assumedly sat.

"R-really?! Coming to Beacon is my dream sir!" Glynda spoke up next with a serious tone.

"Mr. Arc, what we offer is an alternate path, not a spot here as a student. It will be a difficult job if you are to accept our offer. It might not be the path you were hoping for."

"I'm ready to take on any challenge if it means I can fulfill my dream."

"Oh? And what would that be Mr. Arc?" Port asked next with a tone that of curiosity.

"Well sir… it's kind of embarrassing… I want to be a hero. Someone who helps people in need."

"Perfect! That is exactly what you will be doing my boy!" Port could be heard giving a jovial laugh. Jaune laughed along nervously. From the left of the screen Oobleck zoomed to Jaune's side holding a manila envelope. The suddenness of his appearance caused Jaune to jump for a moment. The green haired professor began to talk at a rapid pace.

"Well then Mr. Arc, What I have in my hands is a contract..." Jaune nodded along with a smile. Over time though his eyes begin to glaze over, until he is just staring at the professor with an plastered on smile. "-Do you understand what our duties will be then?"

"Y-Yeah… of course. Totally. I can do all those things."

"Capital! Well then if you could sign here, here, here, here and here along with initials here, here, here, and here. Do you have a valid ID or other form of Identification? Thank you, well then we are all finished here Ozpin." All the other professors walked into frame and began to congratulate a confused Jaune with handshakes and applause.

"Congratulations!"

"Congratulations!"

"Congratulations."

"Congratulations, Mr. Arc. We will send you the information later about the pertinent in a few days, for now just get ready to move to the campus next week and we will get you settled in." Ozpin said giving Jaune a firm handshake.

"Uhhhh… Thanks Professors… I…. Guess I'll see you next week then...?" They all said their goodbyes, Jaune leaving both happy and confused. Once the elevator closed and the boy could be heard going back down stair. The professors began to give each other high fives.

"That went better than expected!" Port said.

"Yes, I cannot believe that Mr. Arc was so easily convinced to switch career paths after all the hard work he must have put in to come to Beacon." Oobleck said nodding.

"Well, let us just be glad we found someone who was WILLING to take the job… not after the last guys…" Glynda sighed.

"Yes, well I'm sure Mr. Arc, will be fine. He seemed to be confident in his abilities and his ability to perform the job." Ozpin sipped his coffee before looking back at his gathering of key staff. The best and brightest of Beacon Academy. "Now then, who here paid attention when Mr. Arc explained how to turn the camera off?"

/iT/CCT. 4Channel. vale

Anonymous (X98dh2Zz) No. 4044566

Jobs You Shouldn't Have Thread?

Anonymous (Ja08zbc0) No. 4041323

-4044566

-be me

-17

-tall, blond, scraggly

-play vidya games and browse 4Channel

-want to be badass huntsmen like my ancestors

Now there are multiple problems that make this a poor career choice, but let's put that aside and focus on the three main problems:

-I have no huntsmen training

-wasn't accepted into Huntsman Program

-only a few months until graduation

One day In Middle School

-Still really want to be a huntsman

-like REALLY want to

-one day notice teacher leaves terminal open

-gradebook open

-no one there

-completely logged in

-my grades and skills all there

-Bad_Idea. exe

-hello Monty, you there? It's me, Anon.

-think of what my family would say

- "Anon you should get a job in something less violent. I heard the dance hall is hiring- "

-stop thinking about family

-holdmybeer. png

-change my classes to huntsmen training courses and bump grades up

-about to publish and send them to an academy

-think of family again

- "Anon you make such a good prom dress model, what with your feminine hips- "

-Okay, stop thinking of family

-Press send

-leave room

-leave school

-leave area

-perfect-stealth-mission. mp3

It's at this point I realize what I have done and how bad i just screwed myself. About a Month later:

-literally sweating bullets checking email

-after 100th spam email get one from school

-HOLY SHIT

-"thank you for your application Anon."

-hey that's me lol

-"we received many applicants"

-"only a select few individual"

-"your application has made the first cut."

-...

-wait

-crash. exe

-rebooting…

-activate party mode

-have no one to celebrate with so go get some cold pizza and soda

-come back to finish email

-"we would like you to come in for interview to discuss discrepancy with your application."

-spit soda on monitor

One week and a new keyboard later:

-head to academy

-all expenses paid on a bullhead

-tell parents I'm going to 'job interview.'

-go in bullhead

-find out I get airsick

-vomit from flight then vomit from nervousness

-repeat for entire flight

-Entire.

-Flight.

-get to academy

-i-can-show-you-the-world. wav

-literally fitting

-campus is HUGE

-looks like Schneesney World

-go to where I am supposed to go

-take deep breath

-take smaller breaths

-hyperventilate

-almost pass out at door

-knock knock

-"Hello I am Anon, I'm here for the-"

-see 3 teachers wrestling another to the ground while a camera records it

-this is the right room

-hence my hyperventilation prior

-is this an adult film set?

-am I the pizza boy?

-or am I the student who need that grade by any means necessary?

-before I can ask if they accept extra sausage as a bribe for grades they explain the situation

-(nothing was explained)

-help them set up their camera

-interview starts as soon as I turn around.

-see 4 teachers standing behind a desk

-would have been more intimidating if I hadn't seen them tackle the large one to the ground

-remember that it took all three of them and and once again intimidated

-"Anon you know why you're here?"

-because I forged my transcript?

-"because you called me here?"

-knees weak, arms spaghetti

-get told I passed

-but can't join because no references to back up my abilities

-nod head as my mind goes from fear to defeat

-"however we can make an exception…"

-choir. mp3

-"I'll do anything headmaster!"

-wait, this situation seems familiar...

-am I actually about be casting couched?

-One teacher begins to tell me what the alternative is

-Teacher talks faster than a motorboat

-nod head and smile

-"Do you understand?"

-no

-"yes"

-sign some documents and shake some hands

-what just happened?

-walk out and fly home

-too confused to vomit

-parents smile at me

-"Hey Anon, How was your interview?"

-get email from school

-"Congratulations Mr. Arc you have been added to our staff as the head of the IT department…"

-...What?

-MFW I got into my school as staff not as a student

-MFW my skills from the one class I actually took actually got me the job

-MFW That course was a typing course so I could get access to the computer lab to play Vidya games

-MFW I actually did go to a job interview

Yeah so, now going to the school of my dreams… As the head of IT... I really have no idea what I am doing. H-help?