Whew! So, some of you might have noticed that I went on something of a hiatus and ended up not updating any of my fics for like, a week. It wasn't necessarily intentional, it's just been a hell of a week! I started out working on a new installment of the stars shine a different shine, only to realize after writing and rewriting it a few times that it just wasn't working as planned, so I ended up scrapping it for the time being and taking it back to the drawing board. Then I got started on this new chapter of who you are in the dark, only to realize halfway through editing my first draft that there was a better way to write the chapter and ended up erasing everything past that halfway point and starting over with the new idea in mind.

And then my hard drive failed.

So, I'm writing this from my brand new laptop! I'm still sort of adjusting to the different setup- mainly the new keyboard. Thankfully I was able to recover pretty much all of my data, though I had to wait until Sunday to get it all back. So, that's where I've been at this week! Sorry for the long wait, especially since I know how much people were looking forward to this chapter. Believe me, I've been looking forward to it too!

Well then, that all said, I'll see you next update!

who you are in the dark

chapter twenty five

reunion

"That felt almost too easy."

At the attention her casual remark earned her, Ezor only shrugged. "What? I can't be the only one to think that."

"Personally, I was hoping we'd get to punch more robots." Zethrid complained.

Keith just huffed, glancing over his shoulder. If you asked him, Zethrid had already punched plenty. He'd barely even had the chance to fight.

Ezor was right though- the raid of the base had gone smoothly. Not to the degree that it was suspicious, but it had been easier than he thought it would be. He wasn't sure how he felt about that- coming into the raid, he was half-afraid that his experience with Raht the day before would have impacted his ability to fight, but it hadn't, not in the least.

He almost wished it had.

"More operations would go this smoothly if the three of you would just stick to Lotor's plans more often." Acxa observed, glancing at them out of the corner of her eyes.

"But that's so boring." Ezor complained. "I like it better when we get to improvise a little."

"And I like it better when I get to punch things." Zethrid added.

Acxa just frowned, ignoring the comments of her fellow generals and only sparing him the slightest of glances. They all knew the reason why he didn't necessarily stick to any of Lotor's plans. She must have been worried that he'd actually been behaving himself so far.

Well, she didn't need to be. He just didn't want to make this more complicated than it already was. All he wanted to do was get this over and done with so he could think of how to get the information he'd downloaded from that other Galra base to Voltron, and by extension, to Pidge.

Preferably without letting the paladins know it was from him. Revealing his identity was the last thing he wanted to do. Better to let them keep believing he was still a prisoner, than let them know what he was up to. Anything, even him being dead, would be a better alternative than the truth.

Shaking the thought off, he turned his attention to the teleduv. The sheer size of it was jaw dropping- and this was just one part of it. Sure, he'd known that anything that had been used to transport Central Command across galaxies had to be massive, but he'd severely underestimated just how big it was. It might even be bigger than the cruiser they were using to steal it- which would explain why Lotor's plan had included the use of a tractor beam.

Guess now he knew why Hunk and Lance had needed so much scaultrite.

Speaking of scaultrite... he still wasn't sure what Lotor had needed the scaultrite he'd sent Acxa to gather for- or for that matter, the teleduv piece they were fetching him now. It couldn't be to make wormholes. As far as he knew, only Alteans could operate it, and he was pretty confident that Lotor didn't have one of those just lying around. No, it had to be for something else.

He just didn't know what.

Catching what sounded like someone groaning, his ears perked up, instinctively looking in that direction. Uncrossing his arms, he watched as Throk hit the floor, like a puppet whose strings had just been cut. Seeing as Narti had basically been using him one, it was a pretty apt comparison.

He eyed the general in question somewhat warily. Narti had always been difficult for him to understand, but he hadn't expected her to have a power like this. Suddenly, Lotor sending her to ensure the Puigan leader's cooperation made a lot more sense.

He'd have to keep a closer eye on her in the future, he resolved.

"Guess we're done?" Keith asked, trying to look unbothered.

"We're done." Acxa said. "Let's get back to the ship."

She didn't have to tell him twice. He still found himself taking up the rear as they made their way back towards the cruiser, keeping one hand hovering over his bayard, just in case there were any actual foot soldiers on this base. According to Lotor's intelligence, it didn't seem like it, but if there was one thing recent events had hammered into him, it was that it never hurt to be extra careful.

(That, and to never chase after a druid. Bad idea.)

Thankfully, the caution wasn't needed. They made it back onto the cruiser with no complications. Now all they had to do was get back to the bridge and use the tractor beam to carry the teleduv piece away, and the mission would be over. He'd stick around at least for the debriefing, to see if he could learn anything about why Lotor wanted it in the first place, and then he'd-

His nose twitched, picking up on a group of scents that definitely hadn't been here when they'd left. Galra? They didn't smell like it, he thought. There was no metallic tang to the scent, like the sentries, and from the freshness of the scent, whoever it was had passed through recently, heading towards the cargo hold, which, coincidentally, was the direction they were headed in.

He narrowed his eyes. That was where the comet ship was. Something told him that part wasn't just a coincidence. Taking another whiff of the scent, grateful that he was to the back of the group so that no one could see what he was doing, Keith narrowed his eyes. The scent wasn't familiar to him, but at the same time, he swore he knew it from somewhere.

Maybe it was something he'd smelled before? Prior to his transformation, obviously. He tried to rack his brain for what it could be, at the same time ignoring the knot of dread that had formed in the pit of his stomach. There weren't that many scents he'd have cause to know from before his transformation this far out in space. There were the Balmerans and the Arusians, Rolo and Nyma-

-and Allura, Coran, and the paladins.

The realization that he had been purposefully trying to ignore came too late.

They had reached the cargo hold.

Shiro was snapped back to reality by force.

If it hadn't been for his instincts, finely honed by his time in the arena, he would have been dead, or at least severely injured. Although this was the first time he had faced them, he knew from Kolivan's reports that Zethrid was the strongest of Lotor's generals, and she had directed the full force of that strength right towards his head. She left a dent in the floor where he had been, in what could have easily been his skull instead.

There was only so much that his helmet could protect him from.

Reeling from that first attack, he barely had a chance to study Keith. He nearly didn't recognize him, even after he'd spent so long studying the footage Kolivan had sent, going over every inch of it. It was hard to draw the connection between the Keith he saw standing before him, and the Keith he knew so well from his memories.

But it was Keith.

Even though his eyes were now an unfamiliar shade of Galra yellow, he knew that expression by heart. He'd only worn it once before, back when Adam had gotten into a hoverbike crash. It had only been a minor one, but when they had gotten the news, Keith's typically stoic expression had changed, looking for all the world as if the ground had dropped from out underneath his feet.

This wasn't something he wanted to happen, Shiro realized with a pang. Keith didn't want to meet them, at least, not like this. The last time he had met any of them, he'd had the advantage of having his face covered- now it was exposed, only the alterations he'd gone through at Haggar's hands left to protect him. Even then, that could only protect him for so long- maybe it had taken him a second to recognize him, even with the video footage, but the longer he looked at him, the more he started to look like Keith, rather than some strange Galra with his haircut.

At least, now that he knew where to look, he did. If he didn't... it would have taken longer. He'd admit it. But he would have eventually started to see it, the truth undeniably etched into his features.

"Shiro!"

Allura's voice snapped him back to reality as surely as Zethrid's fist did. Ducking under it, Shiro put some distance between her and him, forcefully refocusing his thoughts. Unfortunately, Zethrid hadn't been the only general to attack- only Keith had remained where he was, as if frozen to the very spot. The other three were already engaging the other paladins, the suddenness of the attack having thrown them, and badly.

Keith being here didn't help.

He wanted nothing more than to call out to him, to go to him- but he couldn't afford to be distracted in the middle of a fight. They could deal with Keith after they'd taken care of the rest of Lotor's generals.

"Paladins, on me!" Shiro bellowed.

At his command, the other four managed to break away from their individual battles, uniting together using his location as a central gathering place. The sudden increase in opponents was enough to cause Zethrid to momentarily back off, but somehow he didn't think it would be enough to force her- or any of them- to back down for long. Still, he felt better about their odds of winning this fight if they all had each others backs, instead of trying to fight separately.

In response, Acxa raised her hand to signal the rest of Lotor's generals, who flocked to her with only a small amount of hesitation. Zethrid and Ezor looked as if they were itching to continue the fight, but she held them both in check as she watched to see what their next move would be. It wasn't only them she was watching, he realized. He could tell she was keeping Keith in her peripheral too, suspicion laced in her gaze.

It clicked in his head that she didn't trust him.

No one moved, the air in the cargo hold thick with tension. Shiro was in the middle of running their options through his head when he caught sight of movement out of the corner of his eye, and instantly felt himself tense. But it wasn't one of Lotor's generals who'd moved- it was Keith. With an expression he couldn't read, and without a single word, he moved to stand by Lotor's generals. He didn't move to attack, but he did rest his hand over his bayard- a clear statement of where his allegiances lay.

It was like a physical blow to Shiro. He'd been quick to deny the possibility that they might have to fight Keith, so insistent that Hunk's theory was right. He hadn't even wanted to consider the alternatives, but faced with the sight before him, he was forced to do it anyways.

Even then, he tried to justify it. There was always the possibility that Keith just didn't know they knew it was him, which stung. The more he looked at him, the more he could see his brother in this tall, looming Galra, but at first glance, without knowing the truth... it would have been harder, much harder to see past it all. He was left to wonder again what Keith thought every time he looked in the mirror- if he even bothered anymore. His own changes were minimal in comparison, but Shiro had still taken to avoiding mirrors since his escape from captivity. It wasn't too much of a stretch to think Keith might do the same.

He wanted to speak up, to tell him it wasn't that bad- but... it kind of was. Even he was forced to admit that. There wasn't even the slightest possibility that he could resume a normal human life after this, not unless Allura or someone could somehow fix him.

He might also just be trying to keep his cover, Shiro rationalized, however self-imposed it was. When Keith made up his mind to do something, he stuck to it. It didn't matter what he had to do to accomplish his goals- whatever it was, he'd do it. He was just that stubborn.

Fighting them in order to prove his supposed loyalty to Lotor? He'd never do it happily, but it fell reasonably in line with Shiro's expectations of what he might do. It was pure rationalization, he knew- but he'd made a vow to Keith. He would never give up on him- and believing in him, no matter what things might look like at first glance, was just one part of that.

Unfortunately, just because he'd chosen to believe in Keith, it didn't mean anyone else had. And there was at least one person among them who had opted to doubt him from the start.

And just as unfortunately, he had no intention of staying quiet.

"I knew it."

Lance's voice was more of a stage whisper than anything else, but it didn't matter. He knew from experience that the Galra had great hearing- and clearly, Keith was no exception. He made a mental note of the way Keith's new, and quite honestly massive ears twitched at the sound, filing that information away for later. But instead of commenting on it, he turned his head slightly, shooting the blue paladin a warning glance.

"Lance-"

Lance's grip on his bayard tightened, glowering straight at Keith. He didn't aim the weapon at him, but he might as well have. "I'm sorry, Shiro, but I can't stay quiet about this. He's- he's-"

He faltered there, for once at a loss for words.

But he'd said enough.

Keith's expression tightened, his shoulders growing taut. Lance's words, while vague, allowed for very few illusions in regards to what he'd wanted to say.

Keith wasn't the only one who had recognized that.

"Ooh," it was Ezor who spoke, almost squealing with delight, nudging Keith almost playfully in the side, "-I think they recognize you, Red."

Keith narrowed his eyes, and though the lack of any visible pupils made it difficult to discern exactly where he was looking, Shiro still sensed it was him. He nearly flinched underneath his gaze, which felt almost as unfamiliar as his eyes. Behind him, the paladins collectively held their breaths, all eyes on Keith.

When he finally spoke, it became obvious why he hadn't in the weblum. So much had changed, but there was still no mistaking his voice for that of anyone else's.

It didn't bring any comfort.

"So what?" Keith asked. "It doesn't matter."

Involuntarily, Shiro felt himself shudder. Keith's tone was cold, in a way that he'd never known before, dampening any familiarity it might have brought. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but he couldn't get out a single sound. He could feel Keith's eyes still on him, but he couldn't return his gaze. It was too cold, too unfamiliar- like it wasn't just his looks that had changed, but something much more fundamental.

It was almost like he wasn't Keith anymore.

"You see?" Ezor beamed, almost like an imp, wrapping a playful arm around Keith's shoulder. "He's one of us now."

Keith said nothing to that, nor did he shrug off Ezor's arm like Shiro thought he would. He wished he would say something- anything- because his silence was starting to feel a lot like a confirmation of something he desperately didn't want to be true.

Drawing in his breath, Shiro forced himself to look Keith in the eye. At the same time, he managed to find his voice.

"Keith?"

Keith held his gaze, unblinking. Maybe he didn't need to anymore. "Shiro."

The sound of his name spoken in such a harsh tone, and by Keith no less, was enough to stab at his gut. But he didn't let it show on his face, instead taking a step forward. He'd made a promise to Keith, and he intended to see it through to the end, whatever the outcome. Signaling the other paladins to stand down, he set himself to the difficult task of trying to pretend they were the only two people in the room, all while trying not to drop his guard just in case Lotor's generals decided to use this as an opportunity to attack.

Acxa held them in check, watching with suspicion.

There were a thousand things he wanted to say, dozens of questions he wanted to ask. He wanted to throw his arms around Keith from the sheer relief of seeing him alive, even if he was changed. He had spent so long searching for him, desperately trying to quell his worst fears- that the reason they couldn't find him was because he was already dead. Having him alive, even with a Galra's face, was so much better than the alternative.

He wanted to grab him by the wrist and drag him back to the Castle, make him stop whatever ridiculously stupid and dangerous thing he was doing. No one had asked him to do this, least of all him. Keith putting himself in danger was the opposite of what he wanted. All he wanted was for Keith to come home.

He wanted to apologize a thousand times over for having failed him so badly- first by failing to keep him safe, and then by failing to find him before Lotor did.

Or at all.

He wanted to ask him if he hated them- him- now. If he resented them. He wanted to tell him that even if he did, he'd understand, even if that resentment had lead to him willingly turning on them, choosing Lotor's side. But he also wanted to tell him that if he just trusted him one more time, that he would never fail him like he had ever again.

He wanted to remind him that he'd never give up on him. That he never had, and he never would. Even now, when he stood before them, his intentions made clear by the hand lingering over his warped bayard, the one that so much resembled Zarkon's now.

But he said none of those things. There just wasn't enough time.

"Keith." Shiro said instead. "Please."

Keith held his gaze still, unwavering. "It's way too late for that."

Before he could even blink, Keith had drawn not his bayard, but his knife. As if it served some kind of cue, the temporary ceasefire between the two groups crumbled, with Lotor's generals moving to attack first. He barely had time to react, his hard won instincts again being all that stood in the way of him meeting almost certain death.

Only this time, the person who attacked him wasn't Zethrid.

It was Keith.

He automatically jumped back, putting some distance between them. It wasn't enough- he'd sparred against Keith dozens of times, but he was used to him being shorter than him, not taller. Keith closed the gap in an instant, barely leaving him enough time to defensively activate his arm. Using it against Keith was the last thing he wanted to do, but he didn't have much of a choice.

Keith had attacked him. Seriously attacked him.

Shiro evaded Keith's knife, some tiny part of his brain marveling over the fact that he'd stayed so quick in spite of growing so tall. He towered over him now, almost Kolivan's height. He carried himself differently, but then he had to- he didn't exactly have a tail before. His gaze briefly flickered down towards his feet, and then just as quickly darted back up again- not because he couldn't afford to be distracted, which he couldn't, but because he didn't want to think about what could have happened to Keith's missing toes. It was bad enough that being this close provided him with the confirmation of his earlier suspicions in regards to his fingers- he didn't want to think how he'd lost those either.

There was a lot about his transformation that he just didn't want to think about. It must have been like agony. And where was he, when his brother needed him the most?

Nowhere. He was nowhere.

"Keith!" Shiro called out to him, even as he dodged another attack. He wasn't going to give up on him so easily. "We don't need to do this."

"You're right." Keith agreed, to his surprise. "You could always just surrender."

Shiro had to choke back a laugh, more from surprise than anything else. That at least sounded like the Keith he knew and in spite of himself, he took comfort in it.

"Or," Shiro said, "-you could come back to the Castle with us, and we could work this all out together."

Keith narrowed his eyes, but it was impossible to read what might be in them. They had changed too much, and he just couldn't tell what he was thinking anymore.

"I'm not going back to the Castle, Shiro." Keith said firmly.

"Kei-"

He didn't get to finish. Allura's scream cut him off, in the next instant, the Altean practically flying overhead, flung to the far end of the cargo hold by Zethrid. Momentarily distracted, he made the mistake of letting his guard down, leaving him vulnerable to attack- a vulnerability that Keith quickly took advantage of. With a powerful strike from his tail, that impossible appendage that he just shouldn't have, but now did, he forced him to the ground, pinning him with a nearly distressing lack of effort.

Keith had always been strong- likely in thanks to his Galra blood, but now he was stronger than ever. The half-Galra loomed over him, his eyes glowing faintly in the dimly lit hangar. Shiro felt a surge of adrenaline, instinctively balling his right arm into a fist- but even then, he couldn't bring himself to use it.

This was still Keith. This was still his brother. He couldn't fight him.

Keith, on the other hand, didn't seem to have any such hesitations. He hauled him back to his feet using nothing put his tail, the appendage grasping the collar of his paladin armor. For a second, he felt it brush against the back of his neck, before it retreated- and a second later, he found himself being thrown across the room, landing close to Allura.

Grunting, he quickly hauled himself to his feet, just in time to help Allura catch Lance. The blue paladin had been sent sailing by a well placed kick from Acxa. Pidge and Hunk weren't faring much better, having been forced to retreat back towards the doors of the cargo hold.

"We've only been fighting them for like, two minutes." Pidge lamented. "How are we already getting our butts kicked?"

"Gee, it's almost like they have a traitor who knows all our moves on their side or something." Lance grumbled.

Shiro flinched, the tight feeling in his gut just getting worse when no one spoke up in defense of Keith. He wanted to scold Lance, but he couldn't quite bring himself to do so- as much as he wanted to believe in Keith, even now, he couldn't do it in this situation. He knew he needed to make a call, and make one fast- because Pidge was right, they were losing- badly.

Instinctively, Shiro knew that they needed to retreat. But mentally? He wasn't prepared to leave Keith just yet. Surely if he could just talk to him a bit more, he could-

"Shiro!"

For the second time today, Allura's voice snapped him back to reality. He let his gaze linger on Keith for a few seconds longer, before he forced himself to make the only choice he actually had.

"Paladins," he called out, "-back to the lions!"

"Zethrid, stop!"

Despite her fellow general's obvious eagerness to give chase, Zethrid nevertheless came to a dead halt at her command.

"Come on!" She glowered at her, heedless of her own volume. "This is our chance to crush them!"

Acxa narrowed her eyes, forcing herself not to look in Keith's direction. She could see him at the edge of her vision, sheathing his knife. If the situation weren't what it was, she would have pulled him aside to talk about what had just happened, but for the time being, she had other things to focus on.

"No. We need to stick to the plan." Acxa said firmly. "Our mission is to deliver the teleduv to Lotor, not to get involved in an unnecessary fight with the paladins. Let them go."

"Uh, not to argue," Ezor began, "-but somehow I don't think the paladins are just going to sit around and let us take off with the teleduv."

"Which is why we should go after them!" Zethrid insisted. "If we just crush them now-"

"No." Acxa cut her off. "Lotor may still need them."

"Then what should we do?"

Acxa started, glancing over in Keith's direction. She frankly hadn't expected the former paladin to speak. He was watching her intently, his arms crossed in front of him. At first glance, he seemed fine, but upon further examination she could see how deeply his claws had dug into the material of his armor, and how his tail lashed behind him, giving hint to his own internal chaos. It was difficult to blame him- he hadn't seen any of his former comrades since the weblum, and back then, they hadn't been aware of who he was.

Clearly, something had changed since then.

Recovering from her surprise, Acxa mulled over their options. They didn't have many- Ezor was right, there was little chance the paladins would sit still and let them escape with the teleduv. Though she had plenty of questions as to how they had managed to find them, it wasn't hard to guess what had drawn them here, to this cargo hold. This was the one they had loaded the ship Prince Lotor had constructed from the trans-reality comet into.

A ship that it seemed they would need after all.

"Ezor, Zethrid, head to the bridge and prepare the tractor beam." Acxa instructed. "Narti and I will distract the paladins long enough for us to get away."

Keith narrowed his eyes, not missing the way he had been excluded. "I could-"

"No." Acxa cut him off, already knowing what he was about to offer. "You'll stay here."

Snapping his mouth shut, Keith glowered at her. She didn't return it, instead turning on her heel to face Narti. It wasn't that she doubted Keith's skill at a pilot- he had proved that and more since entering Lotor's service. It wasn't even that she doubted his loyalty- which she did, but it wasn't the source of her refusal.

She was more concerned about his mental state.

First Raht, and now the paladins. It was clear the unexpected meeting had taken a toll on him, when he was already doubtlessly plagued by negative thoughts from the previous day. Perhaps the others might be surprised by his staunch refusal of the black paladin's offer- but she wasn't. She'd been there, in the weblum, when he had chosen her over the paladins. She wasn't convinced it meant he was in any way loyal to Lotor, but it did make it clear that he didn't consider returning to the paladins as an option, to the point where he'd been willing to refuse the black paladin's unexpected offer to return.

Unexpected. Yes, that was a good word for it. The black paladin had proven to be very unexpected. She hadn't anticipated the betrayal that the other paladins seemed to express, particularly the blue- but the black paladin had acted against her expectations. She had suspected they were once close, but...

Either way, she had no intention of putting him in a position to fight the paladins for a second time. She and Narti would be more than enough to occupy their attention.

They were also the ones least likely to attempt to destroy them, but that was simply because of Lotor's orders, and nothing else. Even as she tried to convince herself of that, she had to admit, she wasn't sure she wanted to see what kind of face the former paladin would make if he learned of their deaths. She still didn't trust him, but he was still one of her fellow generals. She couldn't find it in herself to put him through more than he needed to go through, not when it was clear that he'd already gone through so much.

It was hard to get the image of him clutching at his head, unable to even breathe, from her mind. The incident at Ranveig's base continued to haunt her, leaving her to wonder just what he had been made to go through at Haggar's hands. The rumors of the witch's cruelty had stretched even to the furthest reaches of the Galra Empire. Almost no one welcomed her presence, but most were too afraid to refuse it.

All save for Lotor.

Settling into the cockpit of the comet ship, Acxa cast one last long look back towards Keith. He was glaring at the ship from a safe distance, and for just a tick, their eyes met, before he jerked his gaze away, stubbornly refusing to look at her.

She could only heave a sigh. If he would just trust them, trust Lotor, then he would realize what valuable allies they could be. Voltron couldn't get him the revenge that he surely sought against Zarkon's witch- but Lotor surely could.

And if it wasn't revenge that he wanted, but something else... well, they could provide that too, in a way the paladins never could. Who else could understand the unique position of a Galra halfbreed better than another Galra halfbreed?

No one- not even the Champion.

As soon as the ship launched, Keith took off. In the empty halls of the cruiser, there was nothing to stop him from running, so he did exactly that- he ran. Even though it barely took him any time to arrive at the lower observation deck, it still didn't feel fast enough, his heart pumping overtime in his chest as he searched for any sign of Voltron. He let his senses guide him, feeling the faint pull of the red lion. It was weaker than before, though still strong enough for him to find it, his eyes settling on his former lion just in time to watch it, and the rest of Voltron, step in before the Castle's particle barrier could be destroyed completely.

He felt something in his stomach clench. That should be him out there. Not in the red lion- he'd already long since given up on that- but in the comet ship. At least then, he could-

-he could what? Protect Voltron? Yeah, he'd done a great job of protecting Shiro earlier. He tried to justify it as being necessary- he couldn't exactly win Lotor's trust if he jumped at the first offer to go back to the paladins he got.

But he had the information that he had come for- or some of it, at least. Maybe he didn't know what Lotor's plan was, but he had a whole bunch of pieces, enough to piece a semblance of his plan together. Plus, he'd found where Pidge's dad was, which had been his only other real concern. Why hadn't he taken Shiro's offer?

It was a stupid question. He knew perfectly well why.

He hadn't wanted to see the paladins again. Even if there was a cold comfort in seeing Shiro, alive and well, with his own eyes, he hadn't been able to take any real relief from it. What he had feared most had become a reality- they had seen him now, and even worse, they'd recognized him. From the very second he realized that, he'd braced himself for the worst- and Lance's tone had done everything to suggest he was right in that. He was a traitor, a Galra- by every measure, Shiro should hate him.

Instead, he'd invited him to come back to the Castle.

He'd wanted to take it. He'd been so afraid for so long what Shiro's reaction might be, that the actual fallout came as something of a relief. It had been brief, so brief- but he knew Shiro well enough to be able to gauge what he thought just from that brief interaction alone.

Shiro didn't hate him.

Even after he put on a show, pretended to fight him, tried to act like he didn't care... Shiro still didn't hate him. There was clearly a sense of betrayal there, of hurt- but even then, he didn't hate him. He'd hesitated, like he didn't want to leave him behind, like he was willing to fight any opponent necessary in order to get that chance to take him back.

He just wasn't also willing to put the rest of the paladins through that.

He couldn't even blame him. It was a bad match. He'd sparred with Ezor and Zethrid enough to know that. Retreat really was the best option.

But he'd be lying if he said it didn't hurt.

Fixing his gaze on Voltron, he tried to drown out any other thoughts. Acxa and Narti certainly weren't making it easy for the paladins, and even from this distance, it was easy to tell just how powerful the ship that Lotor had built was. Not only was it powerful enough to tear a hole in the Castle's particle barriers, it was fast, too- maybe even faster than the red lion. He couldn't help but feel a spike of anticipation at that thought, that intrinsic drive for speed he'd possessed all of his life momentarily overriding anything else. Flying the red lion had been like nothing else, but to maybe have the chance to fly something even faster than it...

He quickly shook the thought off, feeling a stab of guilt. He'd wondered if the red lion had been able to feel that- she was so faint, he couldn't tell. He knew that all he had to do in order to reconnect was to just reach out to her, but he refused to do that.

Allura was her paladin now. He'd come to terms with that. He had a different role to play now. After today, there was no going back.

He just Shiro hoped found what he'd snuck into his armor, and that they would be willing to trust it. Peering behind him, he glanced at his tail, which froze underneath his gaze. He huffed slightly, allowing it to relax- he still hadn't forgotten that it had been instrumental in Raht's death, but it was still a part of him now. He couldn't just toss out all the progress he had made because of one awful, awful mistake.

He couldn't change what he was now. He didn't want to live in fear of himself for the rest of his life. Maybe if he owned what he was, what he was capable of, then maybe Haggar would cease to have any power over him.

Suddenly, the ship rocked, so violently that it nearly threw him off his feet. Jerking his head up, he caught sight of Voltron just in time to watch it take a direct hit from the comet ship's laser. Letting out a cry, Keith pressed his hands against the window, a cold lump taking shape in the pit of his stomach...

...and reached out.

He felt the red lion's reassurance almost automatically. He let himself breathe, only to jerk back violently once he realized what he'd done. Just as abruptly as he'd made it, he cut the connection to the red lion off again, but it had been enough. He could still feel the heat of her fire underneath his skin, a stark reminder of what he had been missing for so long. Of everything that he'd chosen to give up.

Swallowing, Keith took a step back, forcing himself to breathe again. Voltron must have destroyed the teleduv piece in exchange for leaving itself vulnerable to the comet ship. It was a perfectly Shiro-like tactic- but it had left them dead in the water, at least for a moment. All he could do was watch, dreading the next shot from the comet ship, but it never came.

Instead of pressing their advantage, the comet ship moved away, back towards the cruiser. Although the blast from Voltron hadn't hit it directly, the resulting explosion and the debris from the teleduv had rendered it inoperable. He didn't need Acxa's brief message telling them to abandon the cruiser and evacuate to the comet ship- it was pretty obvious that it wasn't going to be going anywhere anytime soon.

He let his gaze linger on Voltron for a second longer, before he pulled it away. They were on different paths now. They might have converged for a moment, but he doubted it would happen again.

Even so, in spite of all his dread... he was almost glad now that it had happened. Knowing that Shiro was alive, and that even after seeing his ugly Galra appearance he somehow still didn't hate him... that knowledge was almost worth it.

Almost.