To All The Ones I've Loved Before

Rachel Berry is known to be cliché and sentimental. It's part of who she is. That's why she writes five letters to each of her past loved ones. What happens when they're sent out? Heavily influenced by Jenny Han's book. Super short oneshot. Faberry ending. All rights to whoever owns them (RIB, Jenny Han, etc.) May continue depending on feedback.

"Rachel, the letters really sweet and all, but I thought I told you that we're broken up," Finn Hudson states. He's staring at her with a sheepish grin while scratching at the back of his neck the way he always does.

Wait, what?

"S-sorry, Finn, I have no idea what you're talking about," Rachel chokes out, gazing at him with wide eyes.

"Your letter? The one that you sent to me in the mail… I'm flabbergasted, Rachel but you know that I'm trying to get back with Quinn right now."

"The word that you're looking for is flattered, Finn, but I never sent you any letter!" She screeches out, starting to panic. Sweat is beading on her forehead and her hands are starting to shake.

"Oh… uh, I have it right here," he says, fumbling with his backpack and pulling out a crumpled lavender envelope with her handwriting scrawled on it. Rachel's eyes widen even further than Finn could ever think possible.

Oh Sweet Barbara! This CAN'T be happening. How on Earth did my letter get into the hands of Finn Hudson!? They should be safely tucked away underneath my bed right now.

"I never sent you that letter! I don't know who did, but besides, I don't like you anyway. I wrote that letter a long long time ago." Rachel, used to acting under pressure, states this as though she wasn't about to faint.

Finn looks as though he doesn't believe her, and looks rather confused. He's about to speak but Rachel interjects quickly.

"Do you mind if I have that letter back?" Without waiting for an answer, she snatches it from his hands. "Please don't tell anyone about this," she pleads.

"Oh, uh sure, I guess…" Finn says. That's all she needs to hear before she's walking off at a brisk pace towards the schools front doors.

No, no, NO. This can't be happening… if Finn Hudson somehow managed to receive his letters it's possible that everyone else might have received there's as well.

It's seconds before, Rachel is zooming out of the parking lot and towards her house. While she drives at a wicked pace, she calls one of her dads using the bluetooth set up in her car. It rings and rings, until finally,

"Hello, dear," her daddy says.

"DADDY! DID YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LETTERS THAT WERE IN MY MUSIC BOX?!" She yells out, practically jumbling her words.

"Letters? What letters?" He says.

"Oh, nevermind, I'm going to call dad!" she says hanging up without even saying goodbye or an I love you. If anyone knew Rachel, they knew that she was not acting anything like herself right now. Before she can even call her dad, the phones ringing. The screen in her car says it's Kurt Hummel. She answers.

"Oh, sweetie, I've told you again and again how obviously gay I am," Kurt states amusedly, skipping any formal greetigns. Not another letter!

"Ugh, Kurt! I wrote that letter before I ever found out that you were even gay. Can you please do me a favor and not tell anyone about the letter…"

"Alright," he says. "I actually thought it was really endearing and almost romantic… too bad you aren't a guy, I've always wanted to receive a love letter."

"I never meant for you to read that," Rachel yells, hysterically. "Can I please have it back?"

"Oh, fine," Kurt sighs, "I'll give it to you tomorrow morning before class."

Rachel says a quick thank you and goodbye as she pulls into her driveway. She bursts through the front door and calls out for her dad. She's already up the stairs and rummaging through her things when he pops in the doorway.

"Yes, dear?" he says.

"Dad! Do you know what happened to the letters that were in my music box?" she says, as she finally finds the box… only to find it completely empty.

"Oh, I sent them out," he says nonchalantly.

"What do you mean you sent them out?" she hisses through her teeth.

"Oh, Rachel, I saw them on your desk the other day, and figured I'd save you the trip to the post office," he says as though it's no big deal.

"No, dad!" she cries, panicking as tears start to fill her eyes.

"What's the problem?" he says, his brows furrowing together.

"Dad! Those letters weren't meant to be sent out." She's hysterical at this point.

"Oh, dear" he says, raising his eyebrows. "But they were addressed and everything."

"Just forget it dad," she grumbles, closing the door in his face as more tears started to fall. She plops down on her bed, allowing them to fall freely as she recollects who else she had written letters for.

So there's still the letter to Noah Puckerman and Jesse St. James… and oh, no.

She knew that she had left her music box on her desk from when she had written her last letter. She thought she had put them away before going to bed, but she must have been so tired from writing the last letter, she must have not realized.

The last letter, the most important letter belonged to none other than HBIC, Quinn Fabray.

Rachel starts crying even harder as she realizes the hell that she's going to have to pay tomorrow.

Rachel wakes the next morning, eyes as red and puffy as she's ever seen. She almost wants to skip school, but knows that to be like her idol, Barbara Streisand, she needed to face her fears. Eventually, she decides she wants to get to school early, in order to avoid her dads. While she knows that it's not entirely their fault, she doesn't want to deal with the way that they're going to react.

She's at school way earlier than normal, only a handful of people are already there. She sighs, before jumping out of her car, planning to hide in the library until class starts.

Upon entering the school, she immediately bumps into Puck.

"Noah… what are you doing here so early?" She grumbles.

"I had to drop off my sister at school and they start a lot earlier," he shrugs, uncaring. "So, I received your letter… Listen, jewbabe, I know we almost had a thing before, but uh, you're kind of like a sister to me now so-"

Rachel cuts him off. "I wrote that letter a long time ago…my dad sent it out by mistake."

"Oh," Noah says, as though that solved everything. "Here, I guess you can have it back then," he pulls it out of his pocket and hands it to her. "So we can still be jewbros right?" He asks, wearily.

"Of course, Noah. Thank you for being so understanding," she says, taking the letter and placing it in her backpack.

"What are bros for?" he says, smiling. "You look like crap, by the way… I'm guessing I'm not the only one who received a letter like that. Rachel almost smiles. What people don't understand about Noah is that he can be quite understanding and caring when he wants to be.

Rachel nods.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks. Reluctantly, Rachel sighs and says yes.

"C'mon, let's go somewhere more private," he says, ushering her towards the school library.

When they're seated and they've made sure that no one else is near, Rachel spills everything that's happened within the past few hours.

"At least, everyone seems really chill about it," Noah offers.

"I guess, but that's not the point… the point is that there's still one more letter that I'm terrified of hearing from."

"Who? Jesse? Didn't he move like last year? Maybe he won't even receive it." Rachel realizes that he's probably right and while that does save her from another fiasco with Jesse, that's not what she's talking about.

"No, that's not it, it's the last letter I wrote," Rachel croaks out as tears start to form in her eyes.

"Well, whose is it?" Noah asks.

"I can't say… I-" Rachel's voice cracks as tears start to spill out.

"It's fine… you don't have to tell me. I just think that whoever this letter is for… I'm pretty sure they would be understanding. If not, then I guess they're not worth writing a letter for in the first place." Noah gingerly pats Rachel on the back, a little uncomfortable with the fact that people are starting to stare. While it is early, a few people are starting to pour in, most likely trying to get in some study time before class.

Rachel nods. "Thanks, Noah."

They sit there in silence as Rachel slowly stops crying. Soon enough, it's almost time to go to class and they both have to grab their things from their lockers before the first bell rings. Noah gives her a once-over and makes sure she looks presentable, which is kind of hard considering how puffy and red her face is, but there was nothing they could do about that now.

Rachel's digging through her locker for her Spanish notebook when she sees her, Quinn Fabray, strutting down the hallway with her two best friends, Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce. They make eye contact for a split second and Rachel's heart skips but the moment is over before she can even blink. Quinn looks away, her expression unreadable, as though she never even received her letter, but Rachel just knows she did. She could just feel it. Rachel's heart shatters, and she almost wants to cry again, but she knows to hold her head high. If Quinn didn't want to acknowledge the letter, then maybe it's better that way. After all, she did ignore all of the time that they spent together throughout the years, and nothing bad happened because of that. And I guess it's better than her showing it off to the whole school, or worse, Santana Lopez.

Kurt approaches her and hands her the letter, sighing. "I know that I'm fabulous, but there's no reason to cry over me," he says. Rachel cracks a smile. He hands her his letter and then the bell rings.

"C'mon, I'll walk you to class," he says, lacing his arm in hers. Once they reach Rachel's classroom, Kurt pecks her on the cheek as if to say, "feel better."

She's the first one to arrive and she sits in her normal seat and she starts to tap her feet impatiently. She has Quinn in this class and she can't help but feel nervous. To calm herself, she starts to flip through her notes, reading them thoroughly. The final bell rings and someone plops down in the seat next to her and she doesn't bother to look up, but from the corner of her eyes she can see a flash of a bright red skirt flutter next to her. She looks up to see that the room is already full and none other than Quinn Fabray is sat next to her. Trying to ignore her, she looks back down towards her notes.

Luckily, Mr. Shuester walks in and class starts. It's only until halfway through class that a small folded note is slid next to her by the HBIC. Rachel opens it. It says, "we need to talk," in beautiful penmanship. Rachel looks up at her and Quinn rolls her eyes, making a motion to flip it over as if it's completely obvious. She does, there's a time and a location written on the back. Rachel folds the note back up and slides it into her cardigan pocket. Rachel looks back up at Quinn, but she's faced forward, listening intently to Mr. Schue. They ignore each other for the rest of the period.

After a tortuously long amount of time, school is over and Rachel's racing towards their designated meeting spot. It's below the bleachers and no one's around. After waiting for a few minutes, she starts to worry, wondering if this was all a prank and whether or not Quinn was going to show up with the rest of the Cheerios and make fun of her. She starts to walk back towards the school, but before she can make it out from below the bleachers, a voice stops her.

"Wait a minute, Berry." Quinn calls. Rachel gulps, slowly turning around to face Quinn. She's alone. Rachel looks around to make sure that no one else is waiting in the shadows.

"Relax, it's just me. Quinn's voice is soft and caring and Rachel knows she's telling the truth. She only speaks to her with that voice when they're alone.

"Why did you write it?"

"I-"

"Did you think that I was going to fall in love with you or something?" Quinn's voice shakes slightly, almost unnoticeably so… but Rachel knows her and she can hear it like a gunshot.

"No I-"

"Because I'm not."

"I didn't-"

"You're the last person I would ever fall for," Quinn says harshly. Her words are like ice, stabbing Rachel in the heart.

"I didn't mean for you to read it!" Rachel cries, her eyes burning with unshed tears.

"So then why did you write it?" Quinn questions.

"I wrote it so that I could get over you! I've written them for each of the ones I've ever loved before. Finn, Kurt, Puck, Jesse, and now you! I wrote them when I fell out of love with each of them and I thought that if I wrote it that I would stop being in love with you," Rachel's tears are falling freely down her face now. Rachel didn't even care that she was falling apart in front of her. "I never meant for you to read it, I never meant for anyone to read it. It was strictly for me. You were never supposed to see it!" She repeated. Her heart was aching so hard she didn't think she could ever feel worse than she does now.

Rachel realizes that they are only inches away from each other when Quinn whispers, "so, you're still in love with me." She lets out a small breathy laugh. At first Rachel thinks she's taunting her, and she recoils.

"Why did you even bring me all the way out here if you were just going to laugh at me?" Rachel whimpers. "I've done nothing to warrant the way that you treat me! I know that I deserved it when I was trying to get with Finn, but I thought we moved past that. Why do you insist on being so hurtful?"

Rachel starts to turn away but Quinn grabs her by the wrist. Once again, Rachel's heart skips and she hates that Quinn has that effect on her. She looks down, trying to avoid eye contact.

"Rachel I-" Quinn's voice cracks and Rachel's head shoots up to see unshed tears shining in Quinn's eyes. Next thing she knows, Quinn's lips are pressed against hers and Rachel melts. She actually melts, her knees cave and she almost falls but then Quinn's arms wrap around her. Suddenly her hearts on fire as though it wasn't in pieces two seconds ago. Quinn's lips feel incredibly soft and full against hers and she can't help but kiss her back full force, once she's able to stand properly. Quinn's tears are freely falling now, but she smiles against Rachel's lips.