A/N: Thank you for reading! I tried not to expand any further on any obvious ends because this wasn't meant to be a huge fic. It's up to your imagination, fellow Barbaras! XD

Back at Sunny, Sanji baked furiously. He was replicating the cake he'd made the day before, but he had a different color and flavor scheme in mind. He gnashed on toothpicks as he worked, whipping batter and icing with a frenzy. He was mad, but it wasn't because of Law – that was something easily forgotten – it was because of how unfair it was that women fell for Law. Just because he was good looking didn't make him an ideal candidate for love!

He didn't understand – he was the nicest he could be. He couldn't even imagine treating women the way Law treated them – asides from old mermaid ladies – and get the result that he did. As far as Sanji was concerned, every young beautiful woman deserved his finest treatment. He shuddered to think of talking to Nami and Robin in the same way Law talked to them. He'd use Zoro's sword on his belly if he - !

He paused in mid-whip, giving the idea consideration. Maybe he didn't have to talk to them in that matter, but how would this work on women here in town? Would they fall all over him like they did over Law? It hurt his heart and stomach to even think of that.

He continued whipping, then set that bowl outside to withdraw the other pieces from the oven. He kicked the door shut and set them atop of the stove to cool. The others weren't expected back, soon. Maybe he could just try it on the first few women he saw and then make it up to them with…cake!

He broke his cake apart and spent some time decorating them. He thought about Law's behavior, then gave an absolute nod. He would try this to see exactly where and what he was doing wrong.

He changed before he left Sunny – putting effort into a plain black tank, sloppy shorts from Zoro's locker and Luffy's high tops. He pulled on Zoro's black trucker's hat as well, scowling at his reflection in the mirror. He packed his single layer cakes into pretty boxes, tied that together and set out from Sunny. He felt insecure with himself; underdressed and…ugly…but he drew his shoulders back and huffed. It was just an experiment, nothing more.

The first lovely woman he saw – beautiful, bouncy red curls, freckles and eyes that look like they could match an icy frozen lake! – he immediately made a beeline to. He was eager to spring upon her some compliments that would sure dazzle the heck out of her but then he remembered – Law did not stalk women to pay compliments. They stalked him.

So he paused in mid-stride, the woman looking at him shyly as she handled chickenfeed.

Law did not smile or gaze upon women lovingly – he glared and frowned until they were all a goo-eyed mess, struggling to appease him.

So Sanji mimicked his glare and the woman looked startled. Coolly – but with intense sadness in his heart – he turned and walked away. She didn't chase him. A little further down the road, Sanji spotted another young lady, hurrying along with groceries. He was attempting to catch her eye when something warned him from behind. He quickly jumped aside and saw the man that Law had described standing there, breathing heavily as he welded a wavy sword.

"Sanji Blackleg! Finally! I have found you!" he snarled, eyes ablaze with hatred.

"Ugh, what do you want?" Sanji asked tiredly, digging out his cigarettes. "I've got a lot of things to do…"

"I've come to exact revenge for what you've done to me!"

"What did I do exactly? I've ruined many men's lives…"

Furiously, the wraps were ripped off the man's face, revealing absolute perfection. High cheekbones, symmetric features and a dazzling smile despite the shark-like teeth. The woman Sanji had tried to approach gasped, dropping her bags. Sanji felt exasperation wilt his shoulders and confidence.

"After you re-arranged my face," the man snarled, "my life changed!"

"Usually for the better," Sanji said skeptically, hiking up his boxes. "If you can't find happiness then I don't know what to do for you."

"This wasn't done out of the kindness of your heart! You did it because my date had no interest in me! You thought rearranging my face would help me!" the man cried, whipping out an old photograph of himself, displaying a man totally different from who was looking at him. That man was chubby with heavy eyelids that made him sleepy looking, with a double chin, crooked teeth and a receding hairline. He also had a smattering of freckles but those were missing from his present face.

"Didn't it?"

"No! Now, women fall at my feet!" the man cried, sinking to one knee. "I end up double booking dates…all of them accuse me of being a scoundrel just because they don't trust me…they give me all of their time and money but - !"

Sanji kicked him furiously, watching him sail through the air. He followed without another look back. "And how is this a bad thing?" he roared furiously, alighting into flame.

After the man had crashed into a storage shed, Sanji put his cakes aside.

"Because I just want one!" the man roared, bursting out from the wreckage. "And she can't trust me because I'm too fucking pretty!"

"Then let me take back my work!"

"I'd feel better if I killed you so you'll no longer ruin men's lives," the man snarled, dark hair catching the light breeze and showing off his stunning bishounen features. Even female animals took notice.

Sanji had to wonder if he could kick his own face. While the other man posed with his sword held firmly, Sanji guided his own foot to his face, finding the pose awkward.

"Stop doing that!" the man cried in anguish, holding his own genitals protectively. He charged. "I will finish you!"

"First off, it's important that I know your name," Sanji said, avoiding the wild swipes of the sword.

"It's Loki!"

Sanji had to pause. Why does that sound familiar? he thought. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully before hopping straight up. He sky-walked several feet into the air, Loki glaring at him from the ground.

"Don't worry, it'll only hurt for a second," Sanji said soothingly before whipping back down and using his feet to rearrange the man's face. Once he was finished, he alit onto the ground with a casual grace, the sword falling noisily from Loki's grasp.

Once the dust cleared, Loki's face was unrecognizable as bruises and lumps. He was missing teeth.

"Come see me in a few months' time for a follow up," Sanji advised, picking up his cakes to walk away.

"Wait!"

Sanji turned to look at him with a scowl, exhaling smoke into the air. Loki crawled towards him, dripping with blood and barely able to see out of one eye.

"Are you...? I mean, after what I heard…? Not…a ladies' man? But a man's man?"

"I am the smoothest ladies' man you'll ever meet," Sanji assured him. "This is why I tried to help you out – "

"You'd convinced my date to upgrade after you ruined my face!"

"Well…it can't be helped. Good day, sir."

"No…it won't end this way!" Loki snarled, grabbing his sword and stumbling after him. "You'll die! No other man should be shamed in this manner!"

Swords clashed noisily as Law stopped the swing with Kikoku – Sanji turned at the sound of it, Loki looking surprised at the surgeon's appearance.

"It is time you disappeared," Law said low, glaring into the man's bruised and lumpy face. "For science!"

With a few hand motions, he had Loki in literal pieces while Sanji stared dumbly at the scene. Little did they know, the only witness to the scene was now on her knees, hands to her mouth. She planned on telling Barbara everything she had seen just now.

Law sheathed Kikoku. "I will take this man onto my sub once we meet my crew. I'm going to figure out how you are able to perform cosmetic surgery without tools or knowledge."

"Did you just…save me?" Sanji asked on a heavy whisper, mouth dropping open.

"This is mainly for me," Law answered skeptically.

Sanji gave him a dirty look, adjusting his hat. He then strode off, feeling pissed.

Hours later, as Sunny streamed away from the island, the crew was partaking in dinner Sanji had prepared for them.

"I'd really appreciate it if you didn't take people apart and bring them onto our ship," Nami said to Law over the table.

Law had his mouth full of rice and tuna-mayo so when he spoke she could barely understand him. "You'll have to forgive your guests' quirks."

"He is literally in the corner of the library, squirming, bro," Franky stated with discomfort. "After Sanji busted him up, you can't understand a word he's saying."

"If he's not dead, it's fine."

"Why'd you do that?" Zoro then asked curiously.

"He was an uninvited blast from my past!" Sanji snapped, serving Luffy a platter of meat and kicking the rubberboy for making too much of a mess. "So he was dealt with!"

"It was really nice of you, surgeon-san, for taking care of Sanji's troubles," Robin said gratefully.

"I didn't help him at all," Law stated. "I did this for me."

"Oh," Nami said shortly, looking awkward.

"For science."

"I'm sure it was!" Chopper cried. "Because that mystery should be explored! How does Sanji do that?"

"It doesn't work all the time," Sanji said, grabbing Zoro's cheek and shaking him. The swordsman threw his knife at him.

"Well, I hate to break it to you," Ussop said slowly, looking guilty, "but I dumped that guy overboard."

Law looked at him murderously while everyone looked at Ussop with appreciation.

"I thought he was some sea monster! I just saved us all!"

"What about that woman?" Nami asked. "Is that all finished?"

"There should be no trouble from her," Sanji said gratefully. "She was a very understanding individual!"

Nami gave him a skeptical look. "Well, I hope so…you guys should've asked for our help."

"You guys wouldn't understand, and it wasn't that big of a problem," Sanji said hurriedly. "It was best that we handled it ourselves."

Robin's eyes were bright as she focused on her food. She couldn't wait to read Barbara's latest as soon as it were published.

Months later, once there was a chance in the chaos for everyone to rest for a moment, Robin drew out the book from her bag. Sanji was still wallowing in Cake Island angst while Law had his mind occupied with his Wano schedule so she thought it was a good time to show them her latest book.

"It's called, 'A Burning Fire'," Robin said, giving to Law once she had Sanji's attention. "You two should read it."

"If it's not about how to kill a Yonkou – " Law started to complain when Sanji jerked the book from his grasp.

"This is from Barbara!" he cried happily, flipping to the back page. He froze once he saw the picture on the back flap – of the beautiful, imaginative woman posing with a wide smile with Loki; both of them in love and happy. If possible, Loki was more attractive than ever. Robin snatched the book out of his hand before it could catch fire.

She gave it to Law. "You should read it first."

"If it should detail my death in such a way…" he mumbled, flipping through the pages. He froze as Sanji blazed about, vowing a return to the island to finish what he'd started.

Bepo looked over Law's shoulder. He read aloud:

'Make it right,' the doctor whispered to his prince, sword dropping after using it to fell the giant.

'Our families will never agree to our secret union!' the prince said with a harsh sigh, kicking the body of his father away. 'If we should run away, it'd be easier for them to accept - ! My friends would only understand then!'

'I refuse to hide you – to hide this. They should know that you're mine! After all, you don't hide treasure – you flaunt it.'

'Calm your jealous fire, doc. Let me take care of this. I don't need saving.'

'I did it mainly for me – because I can't afford to lose you. You're my treasure.'

Law ripped the book from Bepo while Sanji looked confused and Robin struggled to maintain her stoic expression. Flipping through it frantically, Law discovered that Barbara did NOT write snuff fiction. He closed the book up and slid it into the folds of his kimono.

"I take it you'll read it later?" Robin asked.

Law patted Bepo's shoulder. "He'll take over from here. Trust that he has everything under his control. I will return in two weeks' time."

"Wait a minute, you're not going anywhere!" Sanji shouted, grabbing him. "Part of the plan is mostly your damn involvement!"

"If you'd read the things I had, Blackleg-ya," Law said on a snarl, "you'd want to correct the issue at hand, too!"

"I'd never run! Certainly not from a woman! Even if she were a woman who makes bad choices!" Sanji ripped his kimono open, much to Robin's excitement and Bepo's distress. He then stole the book from Law, who hugged himself protectively after being so viciously manhandled. Bepo slapped Sanji's arm in retaliation but that was the length of his ferociousness. Sanji opened the book, Robin watching him with fascination.

After reading a few lines, Sanji shut the book, tucked it into his ninja-garb. "I'm just going to take a quick jog to the volcano for a bit. I need some air. Hopefully I inhale enough gases to die," he said lightly, and walked away without revealing anything on his expression.

Bepo looked bewildered. "Why go that far over a book? Captain - !"

"Shh, Bepo, it's for his own good," Law said stoically. But he once again had the book in his possession, tucking it deep into his fundoshi as Bepo made a face. Sanji shouted angrily in the distance. "For that wretched woman to tell the entire world of a fantasy relationship between men - ! I will kill her myself."

"Oh, captain," Bepo said with exasperation, clearly not believing him. "That's a happy fluster I see, not a humiliated one."

"I'm sure it isn't that bad," Robin said with a suppressed smile. "It's a work of fiction. Of course it's not true."

At the sight of Law waddling awkwardly into the other direction with a huff, near similar to how Luffy did when he couldn't lie, Robin found herself wondering…she couldn't wait to get to her quill and paper. Barbara definitely needed to know this!

THE END