"Speech"

'Thought'

Wild Magic Notes

I get up and yawn then slowly look over to my alarm clock. 'ah, I got up early...'

I turn off the alarm, carefully placing my finger and thumb on each side of the tac taped to the top of the snooze button then get up with a stretch. "it's kind of weird how I almost died yesterday..." I quietly say to myself as I go into the living room and sit down on the couch. 'ugh I am so freaking weak... why can't my sacred gear be more useful...'

'I have seen that my sacred gear can give me permanent buffs... well... multiple times it has been thing like 'target' and not caster... but I could technically get permanent buffs by targeting myself... I have 56 coins left... hmmm...'

Lucas then spent the next 5 minutes and 32 retry tokens re-rolling a single healing spell's wild magic effect until he got something useful.

"Wild Magic!"

Target can be injured by magical weapons, but they can't kill him

'…'

'damn son... I am now close to unkillable by most things... because most supernatural things are probably going to come at me with some kind of magical weapon or something... or just magic... if it is the latter I guess I would just die...'

'the real question I should be asking is... 'Does my sacred gear count other sacred gears as Magical Weapons?'

"hmm..." I hum as I get to my feet "I'm not going to test that..."

I pull out a sheet of paper. "Let's add a few things to my to-do/bucket list... as I pull a small pencil from thin air."

1: Figure out a way to control my wild magic bursts [ ]

2: Get strong enough to hold my own against lower tier fallen angels and devils [x]

3: Get a familiar [ ]

4: Don't name said familiar something retarded like 'Bob' or 'Jimmy' [ ]

5: Break the fourth wall [ ]

6: Create a fuckin DEATH alpaca of DOOOM [ ]

I erase number 6

6: Don't die a virgin [ ]

7: Profit [ ]

8: Boop the nose of a deadly creature [ ]

9: Put more permanent buffs upon myself [ ]

10: Establish Communism [-] (It was bound to fail from the start)

"looks good enough..." I say to myself as I nod and fold the paper and place it into my pocket, where it disappears into a small pocket dimension.

'it's kind of a shame that I have a pocket dimension that can only hold an object about the size of a phone...'

I stand and walk over to the bathroom then look in the mirror while grabbing my toothbrush.

"It kind of sucks that my entire existence is basically a meme though..." I sigh.

After brushing my teeth, I get ready for school. 'ugh... useless ribbon thing...' I think as I attempt to tie the black necktie thing for a third time.

"AHA!" I exclaim as I finally tie it correctly.

I glance over to my alarm clock. "Ah, good, I still have some time to get to school..."

I grab my keys, and 3 re-roll tokens, then walk out the door.

I cover my mouth as I yawn. 'I feel like I am forgetting somethi- DAMNIT! I FORGOT TO EAT THIS MORNING!'

'HOW DO I JUST FORGET A FUCKING BODILY FUNCTION- oh well... I'll eat later I guess... the human body can survive a couple of weeks without eating, what is missing one meal going to do to me?'

"You!" A feminine voice shouts to my left.

"Me?" I ask as I turn to see a blue haired woman, she- holy shit it is just that fallen angel chick who tried to murder me!

"You are supposed to be DEAD!" She shouts.

I, with a blank expression on my face, glance around to see no regular humans nearby and- holy shit another fallen angel... a small girl with blond hair wearing a black Lolita dress with white frills, a large black bow on the front, and a green jewel embedded on the collar, white thigh-high socks, and black shoes

I glance to the right of the path I was on to see some prick with a fedora, also known as ANOTHER fallen angel.

He has short dark hair and blue eyes, wearing a pale gray trench coat over a white dress shirt with a matching ascot, black pants and shoes, a pair of black gloves, and finally a black fedora.

'this is problematic...'

The little girl laughs hysterically. "I'm going to make you suffer!"

"You have severely wounded Raynare... thus we have deemed you unsafe for our plans... and seeing how you are merely a human mage with no affiliation with any factions, we will have no backlash from ending your life..." The guy in the fedora says as he summons a blue lightspear.

"Alright... one question though..." I say as I glance around the three. 'need to buy some time for me to formulate a plan...'

"And why should we answer?" The original blue haired fallen angel asks.

I point to the fedora guy. "What the fuck is with your outfit!?"

"Pardon?" He asks.

"I mean fucking REALLY 'oooh so edgy with my trench coat and gangster hat.' Like Jesus it is 2015 not the 1950s!" I continue.

"I think it looks quite nice..." He says as he straightens the collar of his jacket.

"It makes you look like a fucking idiot..." I say as I give him a deadpan stare.

'plan acquired motherfuckers...' I think to myself as I grin slightly.

I send out a burst of magical energy from my body, hitting all three of them and giving a single wild magic effect to the loli and the fedora guy, the first magic effect warping the reality of the area around us.

[Wild Magic!]

[Wild Magic!]

[Wild Magic!]

Missile attacks fired nearby crash like thunder when they hit

Target's hands and feet are tightly wrapped in adhesive cloth

Target is 20% likely to explode when burned by magical fire

'I can work with this...'

The goth girl's hands and feet are wrapped with duct tape and she falls helplessly to the ground, a bit of duct tape covering her mouth as well.

'that took up about a two-thirds of my Mana...'

The fedora clad man rushes towards me, his light spear at his side as he prepares to stab me.

I fling my hand towards the fedora wearing schmuck and send a bolt of fire at him that hits him in the chest and creates a deafening boom as it sizzles against his trench coat, the sound alone causing all of us, except the target of the spell, to cover our ears in pain.

[Wild Magic!]

Target becomes giddy and mirthful when he's next hit by a weapon

He explodes... into a pile of meaty chunks...

"OH, MY FUCKING GOD" I shout as I cover my mouth, trying not to vomit out the contents of my stomach.

*MMPHH!?* the gagged small girl exclaims, her words muffled by the duct tape

'oh, my fucking god... I just killed a man oh my- SHUT UP LUCAS... you are going to die if you think about that now... play it off like you meant for that to happen...'

The blue haired woman starts to fly towards me.

"I would stop right there if you don't want to end up like your f-" I gag and cover my mouth as I turn away from the flesh pile before continuing. "friend here..."

The blue haired woman immediately stops, not taking any chances. "H-how did you get so powerful?! I KILLED YOU!"

"Oh, PLEASE... I have always been this powerful... I just let you think that you killed me so you would overestimate yourselves..." I say in a cocky tone. "I could have killed you... whenever I wanted..."

"I suggest you pick up your friend there and leave before I get angry and erase you from existence..." I say in a high and mighty tone as I raise an open palm to her.

"We will remember this..." She says as she picks up her still living ally and blasts off into the sky.

I look down at my clothes. 'oh, thank god I didn't get splattered with blood... these uniforms cost A LOT...'

I gag again and cover my mouth as rush to a trashcan on the side of the road and vomit the contents of my stomach, mostly water from the bottle of water I drank this morning, into the garbage can.

"Ugh that was horrible..." I grumble as I wash the horrible taste of stomach acid out of my mouth with a bottle of water I had purchased from a vending machine on the way to school.

'I... killed a person...' I think as I let out a slightly saddened sigh. 'He was going to kill you if you didn't kill him first... keep that in mind Lucas... maybe now those fallen angel bitches will piss off and leave me alone... considering I... possibly crippled one and... killed... one of them... under the guise that I did it effortlessly...'

I pull out my phone and glance at the clock and frown at the time. 'for fuck sake... I am going to be late...'

'ugh thank god I made it on time... ugh... I had to run all the way here...'

I tiredly prop my head up on the desk and yawn.

"YOU!" I hear a familiar voice shout from behind me.

"Hm?" I hum as I look around to face him.

'oh... it is that pervert guy...'

"Do you remember my girlfriend?!" He asks in a panicked and pleading tone.

"I don't even remember your fucking name and you expect me to remember some random girl? But yeah... I do..." I say as I yawn again, facing the front of the class again.

He gasps and starts to say something but the teacher walks into the room so he shuts up.

'ah fuck... I probably should have said no... oh well... he is a devil now... he is bound to figure it out eventually... meh...'

I am currently walking through the hallways towards lunch.

'ugh... I am so fucking hungry...'

"HEY! WAIT UP!" Pervert guy exclaims from about 30 feet behind me.

I walk faster, turning the corner and disappearing into the crowd of people going to the lunchroom.

'looks like I am just going to eat something from a vending machine and piss off somewhere else on campus...'

I look into my wallet. 'I am out of money... TODAY IS UTTER BULLSHIT! WHAT IS THIS?!'

I blankly look at the ground. 'the human body can survive without food for weeks and any water for roughly 3 days... I will be fine today...'

I walk out into the school grounds and sit down under a tree, casually leaning my head against it as I blankly look up to the sky before closing my eyes.

Light footsteps are heard walking up to me as I crack open one of my eyes.

'oh... it is that one devil girl who had been stalking me...'

"Do you need something?" I ask in a bored tone.

A small white-haired loli with a cat hairpin awkwardly stares at me from about 5 feet away.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Neat..." I say as I close my eye again.

A few more seconds pass.

"Wow... this is kind of unsettling... are you actually going to say something or awkwardly stand there and watch me?" I ask, a hint of annoyance in my tone.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Rias wants to see you..." She finally speaks up.

'ugh thank god... that was-' I stop myself as I notice her clutch her head briefly and frown at me.

'oh... yeah... devils...'

I frown slightly as well. "Where is she?"

"Follow..." She deadpans as she turns around and walks away.

I sigh and get up, slowly following the white haired loli known as Koneko

After about a minute of walking we finally reach the entrance of the occult research club.

"Ugh... Geez..." I grumble. "You are horrible for conversations..."

"…"

"My point exactly..." I say to her silence... "And- oh... that is a pretty spooky door..." I continue as we pass a blocked off door with multiple lines of police tape cascading across the front.

We stop in front of a large door as Koneko steps forward and opens it.

She points inside the room. "In..."

I blankly stare at her with no emotion on my face for about a second before walking into the room.

"..."

I blankly stare at the red-haired girl known as Rias Gremory, one of Kuoh's two great ladies, sitting down on one of the two couches in the center of the room.

"Sup..." I nonchalantly state as I glance past her seeing the second of Kuoh's great ladies, then to the left spotting the person known as 'the prince of Kuoh Academy'.

'ah... the whole-' I sense a power elsewhere in the building 'MOST of her peerage is here... not including whatever the fuck is in that blocked off room and the one pervert guy...'

"…"

"Sit..." Koneko deadpans as she pokes my spine.

I walk over to the opposite couch and sit down. "…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Are you going to say something... or..." I begin.

"Lucas Vermilion... as the heiress of the house Gremory, and one of the two devils in control of Kuoh town... I would like to know what your purpose is here..." Rias says in an elegant and proper tone.

"I... live... here?" I answer.

She blinks. "You live... here..."

"Yes..." I deadpan.

She inhales a little bit. "That wasn't what I meant..."

"I know..." I state

"What is your goal here in Kuoh Town?" She asks again.

"To have basically a normal life... but considering the fact that you devils can't even take care of your fallen angel problem it looks like that won't be happening..." I sigh. "Like really... I got attacked AGAIN by fallen angels today- Plural, there were three- then after defending myself, I am forced to tell you what my goals are- which I might add are pretty boring- to you just because you function in Kuoh- you know... now that I said it out loud... it kind of makes sense..."

"By the way... you might want to keep an eye on your pawn... I know you have your whole 'let him get accustomed to being a devil' thing... but the fallen angels might still try to kill him..." I advise. "Though after attacking me... I kind of doubt they will try anything..."

"So basically... now... if I am assuming what I am here for... No, I am not a threat to you or the student council... considering... I can't even cast a proper spell and my body is fairly weak compared to devil standards..."I say as I nervously pop a few of my fingers "so yeah... may I leave now?"

"There's one more thing..." Rias says as she takes a breath to continue. "I want you-"

"I'm not joining your peerage or literature club Monika... Bye~" I say as I stand up and walk through the door.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Monika?" Rias dumbly asks as she turns to look at Akeno.

Akeno shrugs slightly.

I stop outside the old school building and pull out a piece of paper and pencil. "ANNND check!"

'what a wonderful day...'

Oh look! Lucas accidently killed a guy! OOPS~ just wait until his gear fucks him over and gives a powerful villain a sacred gear when he is just trying to cast like a firebolt or acid arrow spell... that'll be funny~

Guest Reviews:

6011: "so basically he is the universes chew-toy :) funny"

.

Pretty much... but he also has probably one of the most op sacred gears out there... it can do literally ANYTHING!

One moment he turns half of his body into stone and then the next he might cast a spell that explodes the organs of a target... create portals to other worlds, make a horse horribly carnivorous, make one of a target's hands invisible to undead (Only one)... then he might cast a spell that summons 6 allied earth elementals... tbh the possibilities are endless... or he could do my personal favorite of 'Rope hisses like a snake while target uses it'

I'll see you all in the future when I finally decide to update this again... Bye~