Hiya! This is mainly an idea I had that I thought would be fucking hilarious... I know near to nothing about the Dxd plot and lore, so I guess I'll have to read it as I make this... if you think you can do better, you are welcome to do so, this was just to get that idea out there... (I will still be doing The Remnant Gamer, but seeing as I currently have several chapters created and waiting, I might as well do a small story thing with no real schedule at all...

So, I guess I'll get to the story then...

Exposition

"Speech"

'Thought'

Wild Magic Notes

Kuoh Town... to the average eye it looks nothing but a normal small town... no notable places, no neat history, and most of the people living there have dull lives filled with either perversion or boring daily routines... Most people...

If you actually took a closer look at Kuoh... you would find that it is a sparkling hub for the supernatural... well... not really 'hub' per say, but having not one, but TWO heiresses of major devil houses in once place, having like 10 supernatural creatures in one town not including the few fallen angels about is pretty impressive...

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*

I slam my hand down on the alarm clock and sharply inhale as my palm had been impaled by the tack I had taped to the top of the snooze button.

"FFFFFFF-" I hiss out as I defensively bring my hand back towards my body, cradling my wound as I quietly whisper to myself. "I fucking HATE past me..."

The only reason why you would ever go to Kuoh is if, 1: you were a pervert, or 2: it was just the closest and cheapest option... or, 3: you heard about some supernatural stuff going on around the town and you just wanted to see if it was true... Number 3 is the case for Lucas, Number 2 just being an added bonus.

"Tch..." I groan to myself. "I think I am out of band aids..."

Kuoh Academy used to be an all-girls school, until a while back, some crackpot (Probably the devils in control of said school) decided it would be a good idea to make it a co-ed school... (Probably so people wouldn't question the male peerage members in each group...)

I yawn and slowly climb out of bed, making sure I don't bleed on the sheets. 'Damnit past Lucas... You are a dick...'

Lucas Vermilion is your average 17-year-old boy, he has a fairly slim build, is pretty pale, and has deep blue eyes that go well with his windswept snowy white hair. He is wearing an average white t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants.

"Fucking tacks..." I mumble to myself as I open a cabinet and look inside, searching for a band aid to cover my recent wound. "Oh good! One left..."

After placing a band aid on my hand and brushing my teeth I walk out into the small living room/kitchen of my apartment. "What should I eat today..." I ask myself.

Lucas, is not like normal humans... he knows how to use the mythical art of magic- not well, but with his curse, he can cast simple spells with just a small spark of magical power... just with a fairly large drawback... his spells have a random effect attached to them when fired... now, I know that doesn't sound all that bad, but when you collapse a nearby bridge, admittedly a step bridge, by just trying to heal a splinter... you can't call it anything other than a curse...

"Hmm..." I hum. "Cereal sounds pretty good..."

Though, luck being on his side, when people from the supernatural actually look for 'magically adept' people, he doesn't actually show up... mainly due to the fact that his magical container seems so small that it can't even do a base 'candlelight' spell... this works to his advantage because Lucas has the power to explode the sun with the snap of his finger... or an equal chance of turning his hands temporarily to cheese... granted, he has been getting better at controlling the randomness, so maybe he won't explode the sun... maybe...

"Ahhh..." I sigh as I look out the window, the bottom half of the window being covered by a building right next to my apartment. "It is a beautiful day... the sun is out... the birds are singing... and the multiple puncture wounds on my palms don't itch..."

*Ping*

I fish my phone out of my pocket. "Oh- it is almost time for school..."

I devour my cereal and quickly change into my uniform consisting of a black blazer with white accents over a white, long-sleeved button-down shirt with vertical linings, a black ribbon on the collar, matching black pants, and brown dress shoes.

"and-" I look at my phone. "Holy shit! I'm Late!"

I grab my keys and quickly open the front door to my apartment and exit my home, closing and locking the door as I do so.

I take a few deep breaths before I go through the school gate, as I had run all the way from my house to here. After I had reclaimed my breath I casually walk through the gate and past a fountain.

"OhshitOhshitOhshit" A brown haired guy quietly says to himself as he runs past me.

"HYOUDOU! GET BACK HERE!" A group of girls wielding kendo sticks follow close behind.

'huh... guess that guy perv'd again...' I think to myself as I continue walking. 'oh well...'

'hm... I kind of want to test out a few spells... but I don't know if I could handle it if all the nearby wooden objects suddenly just not be affected by gravity anymore... the last time that happened I accidently sent a tree into orbit...'

I sit down at my desk and cover my mouth as I yawn. 'it's kind of a shame I haven't even gotten a girlfriend yet... I mean I have been here for like... 2ish years now and I haven't even been asked out once... I mean... I guess it isn't ALL bad... they aren't chasing me down with wooden swords trying to murder via blunt trauma'

I prop my head up and look at the clock, slowly waiting for the bell to ring. 'it just seems like today is going to be an average, dull, boring, day...'

"Hey Akeno..." Rias begins. "Do you notice anything strange from that white-haired kid in 2B?"

"Not particularly..." She says as she moves her knight into position against Rias' queen. "Why?"

"Well, unlike the other boys in this school who looks at us with... lust... he looks at us with a strange caution..." Rias says as she moves her Queen slightly to the left. "Check..."

"Are you suggesting that he knows about the supernatural?" Akeno asks as she takes Rais' queen with her rook. "now that you mention it... it might explain the strange magical occurrences throughout the forests of Kuoh... Do you remember that small section of the forest that actually uprooted itself and was floating a few feet off the ground?"

"Hmmm... Yes, I do..." Rias hums as she takes Akeno's rook with her own. "The only problem is that he doesn't have nearly enough magic to even do something like that... Check"

"Are you saying he actually does have magic?" Akeno asks as she moves her king out of the way.

"In the past, I have sensed a small sliver of magical energy in him once when I passed him in the hallway, admittedly pretty impressive for a normal human who seems to have no training in the arcane, but it disappeared almost immediately..." Rias states as she moves a bishop to the side of the board. "Checkmate..."

"Ah..." Akeno says as she looks over to chessboard in front of them. "Looks like you win again..."

I continue home after stopping to pick up a few groceries at the 109 Yen Store... mostly Instant Ramen cups... I pass over a bridge and someone coughs behind me.

I turn around to see a girl with long black hair and pink iris, wearing a dark red jacket with the letter "P" embroidered in gold, a white undershirt, a red bow, and a green skirt with a thin white strip around the lower end of it.

"Need something?" I ask.

"E-excuse me... you are Issei Hyoudou... right?" She shyly asks with her hands behind her back. "O-or am I wrong..."

"Wrong... he is that guy over there talking about masturbation and dying a virgin..." I say as I point towards Issei who is looking over the railing to cars passing underneath him.

"O-oh..." She stutters. "T-thank you..."

"No probs..." I say as I walk away with a frown. 'fucking fallen angels... probably going to murder the poor bastar-'

'…' I pause for a second and place my left hand up to my chin in thought as my eyes narrow.

'why would she go through this much trouble for some random perver- he has a sacred gear... doesn't he...' The thought causing my eyes to widen. 'it makes complete sense...'

'…' I pull out my phone and start messing with it as to seem like I am not eavesdropping on their conversation.

"excuse me... you are Issei Hyoudou from Kuoh academy... right?" She asks him shyly

"Yeah..." He answers dumbly

"Hi- I- uh..." She stutters quietly

"Hey, if there is anything I can help you with..." Issei begins.

"S-sort of..." She says as she looks down. "I-I just wanted to ask you a quick question... A-are you seeing anyone right now?"

"Now?" Issei asks. "No... I-"

"That's wonderful" she interrupts.

"I-it is?" Issei asks with a small stutter.

"Uh- in that case... since you're single..." The girl quietly says. "Do you think you would like to go out with me?"

"G-go out with you?" Issei asks dumbly. "uhm... I..."

"I've been watching..." The raven-haired girl quietly says. "You pass by here a lot, and so seem so... I don't know... gentle... and very handsome and... I..."

"See, the thing is..." She continues as she looks up and determinedly says. "I'd like you to be my boyfriend!"

"I- Wha?" Issei dumbly answers.

'this changes my plans slightly... don't really appreciate classmates getting murdered... so I should probably step in... but then my cover is blown... ' I think to myself as I continue walking, ignoring the gaze of a small white haired loli that had been following me for a while.

I continue walking on the strangely empty street before stopping in my tracks and slowly speaking. "I feel like..."

"SOMEBODY WANTS TO SELL ME SOMETHING!" I shout as I turn 180 degrees really quickly only to see no-one.

"Heh... always wanted to do that..." I say to myself as I continue walking down the path, still ignoring the hazel eyes watching me from an alleyway.

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*

I start to slam my hand down on the snooze button but stop centimeters from the top.

"I have adapted motherfucker..." I whisper to myself as I open my eyes and carefully push the sides of the thumbtack downwards. "No band aid for me today..."

I quickly get up and put on my Kuoh Academy uniform then slowly put one of my shoes on

"I guess I'll be able to be early toda-" I cut myself off.

"…"

"it's Sunday... isn't it..." I say as I look down at my hands. 'Fuck... today is the day the Issei Hyoudou dies...'

By doing a bit of spying on Issei and his new girlfriend Yuuma I figured out that they are going on a date today... what better way to kill your boyfriend than on an actual date...

I change into a more 'casual' set of clothes consisting of a black hoodie with some fingerless gloves and a pair of Jeans.

"Damn I dress edgily..." I say as I look at myself in the mirror. "But damn... I look pretty cool..."

I grab 3 slightly glowing gold coins from a pouch on my desk. 'always have some retries so I don't explode the sun by accident... rules to live by...'

I grab my wallet and keys. "I have some time to kill... So, let's go to the... egh... the Dragon Ball Z Resurrection F movie came out recently... might as well go watch that..."

I look down at my body. "Wallet, Keys, Phone, Universal Re-Roll Coins... Yep... I have everything..."

I walk out the door and lock it behind me.

I exit the movie theater and stretch as the nearly setting sun hits my body and then cover my mouth as I yawn.

'probably should have let Vegeta kill Frieza in that... and not have Goku kill steal him mid fight... also what was up with that strange 3d to 2d animation thing... that was pretty whacky...'

I feel Yumma's power slowly rise 'better hurry this up...'

I clench the paper in my pocket that I had gotten from some devil's familiar earlier today... it was in a humanoid form with strange bat-like clothing and two small bat wings sticking out of its back, so I am going to assume it was either a bat or a vampire... and I am pretty sure you can't actually get the latter as a familiar... so probably bat...

I start jogging towards the park as I feel Yumma's energy is slowly powering up past my own...

I abruptly stop as a much closer energy powers up to dangerous levels as a yellow spear of light imbeds itself into the concrete in front of me. 'shit... another one...'

"Where are you going in such a hurry, human?" A feminine voice asks from the tree above me.

A female fallen angel sits in the tree above me with deep blue hair, both of her black wings extended behind her, with one leg crossed over the other. She wears a maroon, trenchcoat-like top with a wide collar, a matching miniskirt, and black heeled shoes. The trenchcoat top is open at her chest, giving view to her breasts and cleavage. She also wears a gold necklace around her neck.

"Sup... I got things to do... places to be... so I'll see you around I guess..." I say as I slowly walk past her.

"Not so fast..." She says as she lands in front of me. "Your opponent is me... I can't allow something pathetic like you to mess this up..."

I raise my left hand and create a small amount of electricity as it sparks around my hand.

"You know magic?" She asks as the small arc of electricity flies towards her, being too stunned by my apparent use of magic to put up a barrier to block it.

*ZZT*

"Was that supposed to hurt?" She taunts "That didn't even tickl- *Gurgle*"

[WILD MAGIC!] a voice echoes around the small sidewalk from a ring on my finger.

Then a voice speaks up in my head. Target drowns for 36 Seconds but is fine afterward.

I jog past her as she flails on the ground clutching her throat as she gurgles, no water being expelled from her lungs.

Get up to the fountain to see Issei on the ground clenching his stomach, bleeding heavily, and Yumma is monologuing, not really noticing my approach.

"If you're looking for someone to blame, why not blame him, he gave you the sacred gear-*ZZT*" Yumma cockily states as she sits by the fountain before getting cut off by a small spark of electricity.

"Oh?" She asks as she lazily points towards me. "I remember you- AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

[Wild Magic!] the ring exclaims.

Any jewelry that target is wearing heats to 500°C (932°F) the voice pipes up in my head again.

The rings on her fingers immediately ignite into a bright orange, almost white glow.

She screams in absolute pain and agony as she falls back into the water and makes a large amount of steam puff up.

I turn towards Issei and start to cast a spell that would stabilize his condition temporarily.

"DAMN YOU!" The first fallen angel I had encountered shouts as she dives down towards me with a spear of light.

I barely move backwards as it cracks the floor beneath where I had been and I bring up my hand coated in fire as I launch a small bead of fire at her.

[Wild Magic!] the voice repeats.

Each day, for 1 month, caster wakes thinking that he is under attack.

're-roll...'

Target can detect counterfeit gems by tasting them.

'…' I feel my pocket get slightly lighter as a coin disappears.

're-roll'

Any bludgeoning weapon that hits the target turns to sponge as it does so

'you fucking what?'

'RE-ROLL INTO SOMETHING THAT IS ACTUALLY USEFUL!'

Moonlight in this area induces pain in lycanthropes.

'…'

The small ball of fire sizzles on her for a moment before it puts itself out.

She quickly looks over her body and then draws her spear.

"what did you accomplish with that?" She asks as she sends through the space my head was mere milliseconds before, scratching my cheek.

"I-" I gain a bit of distance between us. "Made it so werewolves get hurt by the moon in this area..."

"You fucking WHAT?!" The lady shouts. "Y-you have a longinus don't you..."

I punch her with a fist coated in fire, the ring on my finger announcing the casting of wild magic, the effects mentally inserted into my head.

[Wild Magic!]

Any clothing or armor now worn by target is soaked with tree sap

'…'

A massive glob of sap falls from the heavens down onto her, strangely only covering her clothes...

She growls and dashes forward, impaling her spear into my chest, then knees me in the face, basically causing my body to skip across the floor a couple of times, then she immediately turns to the slightly boiling fountain and picks Yumma up, wrapping her arm around her neck as she takes off into the night sky.

A large magic circle appears on the ground and Rias Gremory appears right next to Issei, seemingly not seeing me and seems to say something to him, that I can't hear because of my intense focus and agony.

I create a small healing circle on my chest. 'please don't fuck me wild magic...'

[Wild Magic!]

Caster's next attack heals its target of all damage and disease

I punch myself in the face and look down at my torso as it starts rapidly healing.

I let my head thump against the concrete as I let out a long sigh of relief. 'thank you, luck gods...'

I slowly sit up and put a hand over my recently closed wound and mumble to myself. "Ugh... that is really going to be sore tomorrow..."

*Ahem*

Someone coughs to get my attention and I slowly look up to see Rias Gremory, her hands on her hips, standing in front of me with a now full healed Issei unconscious behind her.

"…"

"Explain..." She sternly says as she looks down at my slightly prone form.

I cough awkwardly into my fist. "Sacred gear?" I say as more of a question.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Well, it has been a lovely day, you reincarnated your sacred gear user, I didn't die, everything is turning out just peachy!" I say breaking the awkward silence as I slowly edge away from her. "So- uh... See ya in the hallways I guess~."

I leap to my feet and start running back towards my house. "BYE!~"

Rias watches the form of Lucas slowly disappearing into the distance. "Hmm..." She hums as she turns back to Issei.

I slam the door behind me and lock it, sliding to a sitting position in front of the door. "Fuck..." I quietly say to myself.

"Should have brought more tokens..." I continue as I sit there for about a minute thinking about how I should have done that better.

'I should have brought my Anti-Gravity Spear... but then I couldn't have gone to the movies... and how the fuck would a wooden spear work well against a fallen angel's light spears... oh well, it kind of turned out okay... Right?'

I stand up and pull off my ruined shirt before tossing it in the garbage, grabbing a t-shirt and sweatpants as I do so. "First, a shower, then sleep..." I say to myself as I enter the bathroom.

Hi! Welcome to the end of this chapter! Please tell me what you thought!

This is just something I wanted to try, and the system I have for his wild magic is pretty fun... but now, if I actually want to continue this story I have to watch the entirety of Highschool DxD again... I watched some of the first episode for this chapter and my reaction to the series (I had basically forgotten the plot for it) is "oh my... how lewd..."… but anyway... this is going to be that one story that I update kind of whenever I want, not being on an actual schedule...

So, Until Next Time!