Lamentations of the Heart

Izuku awoke to the faint melody of a pop song, filtering into the dorm room.

"What time is it?" He yawned, wondering if his early morning jog was still an option.

Stretching his arms out, Izuku glimpsed a red-haired man hugging his waist and Izuku closed his eyes before processing what he had seen.

Who the hell is that? Is this a dream? Where is Shouto? Izuku's eyes bulged, his mind churning, for the last thing he remembered from last night was falling asleep in his boyfriend's arms.

The man stirred to Izuku's horror and Izuku went breathless when a pair of blue eyes met his own. "Sh-Sh-Shouto?"

"Mmm." Nuzzling Izuku's stomach, Shouto intended to go back to sleep.

Izuku swallowed, slowly realising that this was not a dream and his boyfriend had somehow lost his right side. "You need to get up, your ri-right side is-"

"No...it's Saturday...not moving," Shouto muttered.

"Now is not the time to be stubborn, you need to get up!"

Unfortunately, Shouto did not budge, so Izuku lifted his stubborn boyfriend up, carrying him bridal style to the adjoining bathroom.

"I'm going to put you down right now, so lo-look into the mirror, okay?"

"Fine." Relenting with a sigh, Shouto looked into the mirror and grimaced at his reflection. "I look like Enji."

Izuku frowned and turned Shouto around to face Izuku, cupping Shouto's cheek. "No, you're still the same, beautiful Shouto to me."

Shouto was the most stunning person that Izuku had ever laid eyes upon, with his vibrant red and white hair, mismatched eyes and a burn scar that enhanced his appeal. However, Shouto was equally stunning with fiery hair and clear, blue eyes.

"How did this happen?" Izuku asked on the way back to the futon.

"It's likely the quirk that I was struck with in the fight from yesterday."

Izuku and Shouto had been ambushed by the Villain Alliance during their patrol. They fought hard and long to fend them off but a villain crept up behind an exhausted Izuku, causing Shouto to push Izuku out of the way, taking the hit that was intended for Izuku.

Covering his face with his hands, Izuku's chest grew heavy with regret. If only had he seen the villain creeping up behind him, then none of this would have happened. "I'm so sorry, Shouto, this happened because of me, if only I could-."

Shouto ruffled his boyfriend's hair. "It's not your fault."

You're too kind. Izuku believed that he should be the one comforting Shouto instead. "Can you still use your quirk?"

Shouto's voiced leaked with uncertainty. "I can't feel my ice."

He stared down at his own hands before yielding flames in both of his palms.

Clenching his fists, Izuku vowed that he would not rest until Shouto's quirk was restored; Shouto's ice was Shouto's special connection to his mother and Izuku would not let anyone take that away from Shouto.

He hopped up, offering his hand for his boyfriend to take. "Hey, let's go to the infirmary, Recovery Girl will know what to do."

A determined Izuku thus guided Shouto out of the dorms, ducking from several classmates along the way; letting let them crowd Shouto or compare Shouto to Endeavour was not an option.

Be that as it may, Recovery Girl was handling an emergency on the Okinawa Islands, Aizawa-sensei was still away on a mission and informing another staff member about Shouto's condition would guarantee an unwanted visit from Endeavour. Therefore, it was up to Izuku to restore Shouto's quirk.

Shouto leaned against the infirmary wall, staring into the distance with an unreadable look on his face.

"Don't lose hope, Shouto. I'm going to find a way to get your right side back, I promise." Izuku stroked his boyfriend's arms.

Holding Izuku's gaze, Shouto told Izuku the last thing that Izuku had expected. "I know, I believe in you."

# # #

Returning to the dorms would prove a hassle when the last person that Izuku wanted to see stepped out of the elevator.

Katsuki eyed Shouto. "Pffftt. What happened to Half and Half?"

"He got hit by a quirk but we're working on it." Izuku wanted the conversation to end there but knew it would be impossible.

"Shitty Deku, you can't even protect your own boyfriend," Katsuki scoffed.

A vein pulsed at the base of Shouto's throat as Shouto stepped in front of Katsuki in one angry movement. "Don't call him that, this was not his fault!"

"I'll say whatever the fuck I want, you asshole." Katsuki's fingers crackled with sparks.

Stuffing the insult down, Izuku tugged on Shouto's arm, needing to calm Shouto down before Katsuki provoked Shouto into a pointless fight. "Don't mind Kacchan."

Izuku drew Shouto into the elevator and held Shouto close enough to feel that pulsing heartbeat. "Thanks for sticking up for me back there...I'm going to fix this."

Shouto nodded and together they went up to Izuku's room where Shouto settled on the bed while Izuku sat at his desk, scouring the internet for information about the villain who struck his boyfriend.

Tugging at his shirt collar, Izuku found the room particularly hot but he thought nothing of it and glanced at his boyfriend.

To his dismay, there was a pained look on his boyfriend's face and Izuku scrambled over to his boyfriend's side. "What's wrong? Is the quirk hurting you? What's going on?"

"This is my fault." Shouto's face reddened with each word.

"Your fault? Wh-what do you mean?" Izuku creased his brows, confused.

"I messed up during the fight, it shouldn't have happened like this...I could've done better."

Izuku closed his eyes, hating the fact that Shouto could have died, had it been a more dangerous quirk. "I can say the same, you could've died out there saving me, you should be blaming me instead."

"That's not what I meant," Shouto paused, rubbing a hand through his own hair. "I couldn't use my ice when it mattered the most, that put you in danger, I barely saved you."

Shaking his head, Izuku opened his mouth to respond but his boyfriend continued to speak.

"Now you're stuck helping me again, all I ever do is leave you with my problems...I feel you would be happier if you weren't with me."

Izuku gasped, stomach clenching at the revelation. How long had Shouto harboured these feelings? Izuku needed to choose his next words carefully and alleviate his partner's fears.

"It was a long fight." Izuku began. "There were too many of them, we both had to overwork our quirks to defend ourselves, that slowed us down and none of that is our fault, it was just bad luck."

Taking Shouto's hands into his own, Izuku held his gaze. "You know it actually makes me happy when you share your problems with me, cause it means I get to help the man I love."

He threaded his fingers through Shouto's red hair and planted a gentle kiss on Shouto's scar. "You make me happy, Shouto."

Giving Izuku a tender look, Shouto lunged forward and met Izuku's lips in a searing and demanding kiss that left Izuku breathless.

Shouto drew Izuku towards his left side, cuddling him. "You make me happy too."

They stayed like that until a hint of white caught Izuku's eye. "Sh-Shouto your right side, it-it's back!"

"I didn't even notice." Shouto said quietly. "I'm sorry for saying those things."

It dawned on Izuku that Shouto's worries were never centred upon the potential loss of Shouto's quirk but on Izuku the whole time. Never had Izuku imagined that someone would care about his well-being to this extent; Shouto's love floored him.

"I'm glad you told me." Izuku gripped Shouto's chin, locking eyes with him. "I meant everything I said."

"Izuku."

Closing the gap between them, Izuku poured everything he felt for his boyfriend into a kiss and pushed him down on the bed. "I guess I should thank you for uh...saving me."

The End

A/N: Todoroki was heating up his right side at that specific time in the story. Thank you for reading!

'This Is What It Feels like' is an explicit and direct continuation of this story and it can be found on AO3 and Dreamwidth under the name Crezhul.