3 YEARS LATER

Courage, it was a fickle thing. I'd always assumed that since I had been placed in the lion's den, I must have possessed a great deal of courage. I mean, it was one of the defining traits of my house. And yet, for the first time in my life, I found myself doubting that I was courageous. I felt anything but.

Godric, the thing that took courage was getting down onto one knee in front of a woman who was very vocal about not seeing the point of marriage. I couldn't imagine just how nervous Scorpius must have been, how utterly terrified he must have been as he faced my lengthening silence but for the life of me, I couldn't bring myself to speak the reasons I had for wanting to decline. We were too young; I really didn't see what would change when we married; I was certain that he hadn't thought things through –

Honestly, the list was endless. And yet, I couldn't say it. I knew exactly why I couldn't say it – because declining, saying no might just bring about the end of the relationship which had held me stable as I struggled to find my place in the wizarding world. It was that fear, that deep gut-wrenching fear, that had me scrambling to my feet without another word. Grabbing my bag, I'd hurried out of the room and couldn't bring myself to look back at him.

That had been a week ago and I hadn't spoken to him since.

Not for his lack of trying. Scorpius had immediately followed me to my flat and would have easily gotten inside had I not had the foresight to use the wards to bar him from entering. That didn't stop him either. He remained resolutely standing outside my front door, knocking and pleading for me to let him in – to talk to him. But Merlin, how could I do that when I knew that talking would lead to us breaking up? Because Scorpius would never choose to break up with me via owl, no he had the honour to do it to my face.

Eventually, after receiving multiple threats from my neighbours to have him reported for harassing me, Scorpius left. The respite lasted but a few minutes as he began to send letter after letter to my window. His poor owl had to make the multiple trips between my flat and Malfoy Manor – a great distance. At first, I had declined from accepting but eventually, as the owl grew visibly fatigued, I relented and allowed it into the flat for a quick respite. Not that I ever sent a letter back to Scorpius.

Merlin, I had to be the most cowardly Gryffindor to have ever existed.

"Cantrell!" The call of my surname had me rising from the seat I had crashed in to take a short break. The hospital, as usual, was packed and so there was rarely a moment for me rest my feet. But that was the life of a trainee healer – constantly rushing around to deal with the next emergency.

"Coming!" I called out hurriedly, as I scrambled towards Healer Higgs – the senior healer who oversaw the training of all new healers. He was one man that I did not want to disappoint. When I reached his side, I paid no heed to the people around him and instead focused solely on him, "Yes, sir?"

"You've got a visitor," he said slowly, easing the tension that had filled my shoulders. Usually, when a senior healer called for a trainee it was because someone was injured or dying or needed tending to. Not for such a blasé reason.

"A visitor?" I repeated in confusion, "Isn't there some sort of emergency?"

The greying man shook his head, a small smirk playing at the corner of the former Slytherin's mouth. "Nothing at the moment. I should have known that you'd assume the worst."

"But –"

He went to leave, clapping his companion on the back as he turned, "She's all yours, Draco."

And just like that, I was frozen once again. My eyes remained on the retreating back of my supervisor because I couldn't bring myself to meet those eyes that were clearly going to be so disappointed in me. Especially not when Scorpius had inherited those very same eyes.

There was a gentle call of my first name and I let out a deep breath before forcing myself to face Mr Malfoy. I met his waiting stare and did my best not to frown when he sent me nothing but a gentle smile.

"Is there somewhere we can talk in private?" the older man asked and I nodded instantly.

"There's –" I coughed to clear my throat which seemed intent on stopping me from speaking, "I think there's an empty examination room? Is that alright?"

"Perfect," he assured me before raising an expectant eyebrow. "Lead the way."

"Yes of course, sorry," I mumbled before leading him down the crowded corridor and into the examination room that was rarely used unless the hospital was running at code red – above full capacity. Mr Malfoy made himself comfortable in one of the chairs available in the room, even as I hesitated by the door. "Would you like some tea or-or something?"

"I'm fine," he assured me before gesturing for me to close the door.

I very reluctantly obliged. He continued to watch me and I took the silent hint; crossing the room to also settle into one of the chairs. The silence between us lengthened and I wondered whether he was giving me the chance to speak first, because even if he was – I was not planning on doing that. No, instead I'd grown fascinated with the way the bright lights overhead made the veins at my wrist suddenly more visible – which made running blood tests much easier but also –

"My son never was much of a drinker," Mr Malfoy started after a deep sigh.

Raising my head slowly, I agreed quietly, "He doesn't seem to like drinking much either."

"He doesn't – he got that from his mother." A brief, fond smile appeared on his lips but it was gone in a flash. "But he's taken to drinking more lately."

The because you might have been unsaid, but I heard it all the same.

"But he had a trial," I murmured hesitantly, "one he said he couldn't afford to mess up – "

"He had enough sense to wait until after the trial," the older wizard confessed before adding as a flyaway comment, "He won the trial, by the way."

"Of course, he did," I said quickly, never having doubted his ability to win the trial, even if he had gone head to head with a lawyer that was far more experienced than he was. The smile that played around my mouth was instinctive and when I realised that I had done it, I hurried to smother it.

"I don't know what happened between the pair of you, but it seems to be making the pair of you miserable." He leaned forward to pat my hand, "Would you take some advice from an old man? Talk to him about it – if you never talk then how will –"

The door was thrown open suddenly, shattering the quiet of the room as a panicked voice asked hurriedly, "Dad are you … okay?"

Mr Malfoy straightened out at the sound of his son's voice and looked to the doorway. But my eyes were already there – taking in the obvious signs of strain that the last week had done to him. The deep-set bags beneath his eyes, the fact that his hair was tumbling in a mess around his head, and the way his spine stiffened just at the sight of me. Mother always said not to let a man love you too much because it would either ruin you, or it would ruin him. And there was all the evidence I needed before my eyes; I was ruining him.

"I'm fine," his father said pointedly, making me look towards him for the first time since Scorpius had entered the room. Mr Malfoy rose to his feet and walked slowly towards the door, "I just came to have a chat with your lovely girlfriend – she is your girlfriend, right?"

"Of course, she is," Scorpius said instantly, eyes remaining on me. He clenched his jaw for a moment. "Why wouldn't she be?"

Mr Malfoy looked towards me for a moment. "I don't know. Why don't the two of you talk? I need to go and find Terence anyway."

"Mr Malfoy," I protested quietly, watching as the older man batted away my words and ducked out of the room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

With Scorpius and I now left alone in the room for the first time in over a week, I struggled to think of what to say. Wringing my hands together, I lowered my eyes to them as I fidgeted. Silence. Complete and utter silence. And then –

One step at a time, he crossed the room slowly towards me and I counted silently the number of times I heard his shoes against the flooring. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven –

A hand reached out to settle atop of my fidgeting ones, stilling them instantly and drawing a sharp breath from me. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. Not when I found myself lacking the courage again. He embraced me suddenly, arms coming around me to pull me into his chest. Before I could ask what, he was doing, before I could even try to protest, his arms tightened as if to squash any rebellious urge I might have had to push away from him.

"Don't you ever do that again," he warned in a voice like steel.

"Scorpius," I objected, not quite understanding.

"Please," his voice lost the edge, softening to nothing more than a plea. "Please don't ever do that again. Don't ignore my owls or stop me from coming to find you. Just – just don't disappear from my life like its easy for you to do, like I mean nothing to you."

His words clogged my throat, blocking me from spewing out the apologies and the assurances that he did mean something to me. Merlin, he meant everything to me and yet I couldn't –

Unable to bring myself to say the words, I lifted my hands to press between his shoulder blades in a silent assurance. He breathed in sharply at the gesture, drawing back to look down at me. I cautiously raised my eyes to his.

"Promise me," he tried to order but really it came off as more of a beseeching request.

"I promise," I murmured eventually and he let a deep breath leave his mouth before hugging me towards him again. I didn't quite let myself relax as I asked hesitantly, "Does this mean you're not mad at me?"

"No," he said resolutely even as he tightened his arms around me. "I'm still mad that you just ran and made me go through hell this past week. We still need to talk about that – and we will. But for now, let me just hold you."