"Meat! Meat! Meat!" Luffy's carefree voice echoed over Sunny's deck, filling each and every corner with bright enthusiasm. The ship bounced excitedly from one side to the other. Initiated by the captain's infectious laughter a new adventure was about to begin… Closely followed by a series of curses from his crew. How else could it be?

Meanwhile, a trickle of soup had found a way out of its confinement and was delighted to discover the grand wide world. Little did it know that the display of curiosity would ultimately lead to its downfall. All left behind was an occasional ambiguous plop and the vague hope that it was worth it.

"Jeez, what an annoying bunch," the cook growled.

Tonight's appetizer had just been spilled. Cutting and mixing the ingredients, letting it rest, the careful seasoning combined with a sprinkle of love that went into each and every step - all in vain. Now he'd never be able to see Nami's and Robin's pleased expressions when they finally tried his newest creation. How could he ever face them again? He wasn't good enough. He had failed. And first and foremost, he wasted perfectly fine food. Unforgivable!

Ready to kick some ass, he lit his cigarette - a smooth motion that came as easy to him as breathing itself. He stepped out of the kitchen, the ship shook once more and Sanji almost kissed the ground.

"Oi, cut the -," His jaw dropped.

"Gomu-Gomu no Rocket!"

As his captain flew past him, he experienced his own mental parade of What. The. Fuck.

It took him a moment to process the occurring scene. The cook was used to insanity, still, this was nuts!

'Your body can stand almost anything son, it's the mind you need to convince,' at least that's what good, old Zeff always told him. How naive. If he could see this fiasco of bizarre madness, he'd surely have second thoughts.

A giant pair of hooves dangled over the railing and stomped frantic on the planks. The legs attached to them were covered in short, grayish fur that turned slowly into a muddy white, while the hair under it's chin formed a meager excuse of a beard. Dull, slit-shaped pupils stared at anything and nothing in particular, opposed to the rest of the monster, which was trashing desperately to get rid of Luffy, who had just grabbed the horns on its head. He seemed to have the time of his life, grinning from ear to ear.

"Yaahhhoooo!"

A Goat? Sanji's conclusion felt flat. From the waist up the thing had the body of a goat - and not the cute, cuddly kind. Beauty may lay in the eye of the beholder, but this was a violation against nature! Weirdly enough it ended in a fishtail. The two halves didn't make any sense, neither complimented the other. In fact, they almost produced a completely impossible creature!

"The heck is that!?" Sanji asked, pointing at the huge monster as the influence of absurdity waned.

The rest of the straw hats had already assembled, either watching and loudly cheering, or simply ignoring the spectacle for better health.

"What do you think it is?" Nami replied over the noise. Totally fed up with Luffy's nonsense, she looked more vicious than the beast itself.

"A sea-goat," Robin clarified nonchalant. She, on the other hand, wasn't in the slightest troubled. "And not just any, our captain has his eyes on Pricus - King of sea goats," Robin smiled.

"Pricus?" Nami wondered. The name sounded somewhat familiar.

AN:

This story plays somewhere after Thriller Bark and before Sabaody. Enjoy ;)