Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: Kicking around the idea of having Bella involved with both Whitlock brothers. If I do, there won't be any hanky panky between the males. I repeat: NO SLASH and NO INCEST. Is this something y'all are interested in? Would love opinions on it, so leave them in a review?

Love and light,

~Spudz

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Chapter 4

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Lord 'a mercy…

I never suspected the removal of a vampire's doo-dads would cause such an uproar. Well, in this case, I reckon ya'd have ta call 'em diddly-doo-dads, 'cause, trust me, there weren't much there ta speak of.

And though th'Major may'a been amused by my usual antics for the first day or two of my visit, such was obviously not the case now, considerin' my current predicament.

Yeah, damn it, even as aged and outta practice as he was, seems th'Major could still get one over on me when he was of a mind ta.

'Specially seein' as how I'd been less than forthright in answerin' 'is direct questions.

The lil' brother comments I'd been makin' may have also been a factor…

And the school boy comments…

All right, so fer the past couple'a days, I'd been pokin' the bear every chance I got … so ta speak.

I'll tell you what though, I'm damn lucky I'm 'is blood kin, 'cause anyone else was ta piss off th'Major the way I do? Let's jus' say they'd be better off sand-paperin' a lion's ass while wearin' a fetchin' pair a' pork-chop panties.

Leastwise, that's how things use'ta be.

Now'a days? Not so sure…

He's school boy extraordinaire Jasper Hale now, and has ta talk fancy and behave 'imself or he gets a stern talkin' to from Daddy C. And then there's his so-called wife… Best I stay away from that particular subject for the moment. But, damn if he ain't down-right domesticated now — Tic-Tac's opinion notwithstanding.

Sadly, that didn't seem ta change my current situation a' bein' clamped in a head-lock in the middle'a the picturesque back yard a' casa de Cullen.

"Ow, damn it! Ease up, Major! Ya fixin' ta tear ma head clean off!"

His grip tightened just that lil' bit more, but I didn't whine about it — hell nah, I didn't. That sound I just made was a manly grunt … that may or may not'a been pitched just a tad bit higher'n usual…

"You gon' 'pologize?"

Despite the direness of my situation, I grinned, or tried to, considerin' his arm was squeezin' my head tighter than a bull's ass in fly season.

Still, I jus' couldn't resist… "Found ya twang, did ya? Ow, ow, shit, Major! Damn!"

"Boy," he growled, "I'm 'bout ta walk a mud hole in ya, then stomp it dry."

Yessir, the twang was back in full force and that only happened when he got 'is back up. For ya Yanks, that means he was plenty pissed.

Then I heard little Belle's voice pipe up just a few feet away. "Thanks, Em."

"My pleasure, Belly-Button." I could hear amusement in the burly vamp's voice, which likely meant nothin' good…

Next thing I knew, sure 'nuff, she's doin' her damndest to drown Jasper and me both with a high pressure garden hose. But who was I ta complain? Not like I's gonna melt from it and it got th'Major to turn me loose.

Pretty sure my response scared her though, 'cause she yelped when I rushed over and grabbed her up to spin her around; gently of course. Despite what ya may think, I ain't stupid; humans puke if ya shake 'em up enough. We won't talk about how I know that, either.

"Now see?!" I said when I stopped spinnin'. "That's what I'm talkin' about, sugar! Take charge! Get shit done!" I was still holdin' her against me with her little feet danglin' and she rolled her eyes. She was fightin' a smile, though, I could tell.

"Yeah, great planning on my part. Now I'm all wet too, so thanks for that."

I chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose. "Only fair, sugar, considerin' ya doused us pretty good. But never mind that, little Belle, 'cause yer ma hero. Saved me from the big, bad Major. Where would I be without ya, darlin?"

She raised a brow. "In a chokehold. And after seeing the way the two of you are with each other, you'd have still been there this time next week if I hadn't broke it up. Now, put me down so I can go get some dry clothes on."

"Yes, Ma'am," I said, grinning as I set her on her feet. She promptly narrowed her eyes and poked me in the chest.

"And quit baiting your brother." She turned and looked at Jasper who was standin' there starin' at her with his arms crossed, just as drippin' wet as me. He slowly raised one brow and she seemed to lose some steam under his stare.

Jasper can be an intimidatin' fucker, 'specially when he gave ya 'The Look'. I knew he wouldn't hurt her though, so I tapped her under her chin as a little reminder of our pep talk. It seemed ta work 'cause she squared her shoulders, then looked right back at him. "You're not exactly innocent either, Jasper. I mean, You're brothers, and you need to learn to work things out without fighting."

Jasper's brows jerked up at that. "Me? I think ya got it all wrong, darlin'." He jerked his chin in my direction. "He starts the shit, I finish it."

A tiny smirk curled her lips as she slowly eyed his soakin' wet condition. Then she looked 'im right in the eye just as big as ya please. "No, I believe this round goes to me and the garden hose, Major."

She turned on her heel and marched back inta the house, sweet hips a'swayin', and Emmett, who'd been off to the side watchin' everythin' unfold, snickered. "She's got ya there, Jazz."

Jasper turned his glare ta me and I raised ma hands. I'd done had enough a' him damn near takin' my ears off for one day, thank ya very much. "I ain't sayin' shit, Major."

His eyes narrowed and I knew he wasn't done with me yet. "Nah, you didn't but you're goin' to. Get yourself cleaned up and meet me in my study in half an hour."

I bit back a laugh at the sound a' him squishin' his way inta the house, but then I had ta cringe at the feel a' water in my own boots when I took a step.

I had cleaned 'em up and dried 'em out after gettin' here the other day, but now, with as wet as they were, I knew they were 'bout done for. Damn it…

As I took 'em off ta pour the water out, I could see Emmett watchin' me as he coiled the hose on a rack next to the house. From the look on 'is face, I could tell he had somethin' on his mind, so I took ma time, strippin' my socks and squeezin' the water outta them too. When he still hadn't said anythin' I looked 'im in the eye and lifted a brow.

His eyes narrowed and he finally spit out what he needed ta say. "I like you Pete. You're a hoot, and it's pretty clear that Bella really likes you too but I gotta say this: don't you dare hurt her, because if you do, I'll make you wish you'd never met her."

Now, I tried real hard not ta get my back up at that, but I can't say I entirely succeeded. If there's one thing in this world I hate, it's bein' threatened. 'Specially by Tic-Tac's school-boy 'brother'. Not to mention, him threatenin' me over little Belle was the height a' hypocrisy.

Still, I knew little Belle liked 'im, so for that very reason, I'd cut 'im some slack. 'Sides, I wasn't plannin' on hurtin' her, but even if I was, his little threat didn't scare me in the least. Ya see, the truth a' the matter is that there wasn't a body on this planet, with the exception a' Jasper, that had a ' hope in Hell a' beatin' me in a fight. And I can honestly say, were Jasper and I to really go at it, I ain't so sure even he'd be able ta beat me. At the very least, it'd be a near thing…

I felt all traces a' good humor drop from my face as I looked at 'im. "I'm kinda warmin' ta you too, Emmett, so I'ma give ya a pass this once and not go straight inta kickin' ya ass. But this right here? Consider this ya first and only warnin': don't ever threaten me. Folks threatenin' me, for any reason, makes me down right tetchy, and I hate bein' tetchy.

"Now, I'm givin' ya this pass 'cause a' the sentiment behind the threat. I understand ya desire ta protect little Belle." I tilted ma head and gave 'im a puzzled look. "But I just gotta ask … where the hell was ya when ya so-called brother was tearin' her down with the aim a' dumpin' her in the middle a' the damn woods?

"And since I know ya know the details a' that day, why haven't ya so much as offered ta plant a foot in the boy's ass end? "Cause if that ain't the very definition a' hurtin' her, then I don' know what the fuck is."

He'd hung his head by this point and was just starin' at the ground. I waited until he finally looked up and raised both brows. "Well? Where was ya when all a' that was goin' down? I already know the answer, but I jus' wanna hear ya say it."

"I was here."

"Yeah," I agreed, "but doin' what, exactly?"

I could see his jaw clench, then he locked eyes with me. "Moving everything back into the house."

I jerked in feigned surprise and rubbed ma chin. "Huh… Now, why would ya have ta be doin' that?"

Now he looked pissed, but I wasn't about ta give 'im a pass on this. Yep, I can be just as much of a fucker as Jasper when I have a mind ta. And like I said, as well as I was comin' ta like the burly vampire, I was aimin' ta make my point. I knew the whole story from Jasper. Knew that they'd agreed ta leave to 'keep her safe'. Knew that they'd hauled ass back here when Alice had a vision that Eddie boy decided not ta leave after I showed up. Seemed the boy didn't exactly want her enough ta change her, but he didn't wanna chance anyone else havin' her either.

"Fine, it was because we'd packed up and moved on Edward's request. He convinced Carlisle and Esme that leaving Bella behind was best for all involved. It was debated, but in the end, we all agreed."

He stared at me and I stared back for a long moment. "You're a smart man, so I ain't gonna belabor the point. Jus' know, that threat ya made goes both ways, and mine's at least justified.

"Now, it's clear little Belle loves all y'all, and as decent as I find some a' ya, I'd be just fine never seein' any of ya again, with the notable exception a'my brother, of course. I mean no offense by that, but it's just a fact; I don' tend ta get attached ta many in this life. Keeps things simple that'a way.

"But little Belle? Now, I can't really explain what's goin' on there, but I feel the need ta stick around and see how things play out, so that's what I'm gonna do."

I went inta the house after that, and after a shower and a change a' clothes, headed straight ta Jasper's study.

It was time ta hash things out with th'Major.

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Review please?