Rex still isn't supposed to walk much, and not by himself if he can help it. He always insists he's fine but each time he tries, like now, he discovers it's so much harder than he thought. He gets a lot of headaches and he's already dizzy - Tuck said something about the surgery and Anakin said something about his exposure to the Force and there's the matter of his shoulder and arm and the simple exhaustion of it all.

But today's the first day Ahsoka's being allowed out of bed, so kriff dizziness and headaches and weariness, he's not staying cooped up in the barracks.

He thinks he might need to sit down and put his head between his knees by the time he meets Kenobi and Anakin and the rest of his squad outside the med bay. Kix isn't doing as well as Ahsoka, probably because he's never had to recover from anything like this before, so Tuck's still keeping a close eye on him.

Anakin pats him on his better shoulder and leaves his hand there, and Rex knows it's a subtle offer of support. He takes it, leans a bit into his General and closes his eyes for a second.

"Doing alright, vod? " Anakin asks, quietly.

"Been better, been worse," Rex answers. That's become his standard answer to that question, because it's true, and doesn't really let out all the mess in his head.

Tuck comes to the door to let them in (he's become very strict about visitors, or more about making sure he always knows who's in the room ) and gives Rex a very familiar, very weary scowl.

"I keep telling you not to just walk over here, Rex."

"I didn't, I got Fives to come walk with me."

"He's lying," Fives says gruffly, and Rex shakes his head and frowns. Kriff Fives.

Hey, Rexter .

Hey, cyare . He peers around Tuck, looking for Soka so he can catch her eyes, and Tuck clears his throat.

"You and I are going to talk later, Captain."

"Sure." Rex doesn't care and his head hurts (and Tuck shoves a glass of water and pills into his hands like he usually does). Ahsoka's not in her bunk and he reminds himself that's good , but he doesn't know where she is - and then Tuck points towards the little room off the med bay that Rex thinks has extra seating and caf and blankets and those sorts of things. He definitely walks faster than he should (and he definitely needs to find somewhere to sit down before he falls) but he makes it into the little room (he's never really gone in because what use does he have for it, it's just a couch and some armchairs) and Ahsoka is curled up on the couch with a blanket and it's all he can do not to just run to her and pull her into his arms, close and safe and his .

"Hey," he says, feels a little silly. He hesitates, but he pads over and sits down on the couch next to her (and kriff that helps the dizziness), reaches for her hand. He's a little afraid, still, to do more - she'd only gotten out of bacta a week ago and Tuck hasn't let them be too close because he says Soka needs to be stronger.

"Hey," she answers, tugs lightly on his hand, and he obliges and scoots closer to her, slips his arm around her shoulders (and he's so careful, he doesn't want to hurt her), and pulls her towards him, against his shoulder. "Good to see you."

He wants to hold her , wants to kiss her till he can't breathe and he forgets his headache. But he can't, because they're both still healing, so he just kisses her forehead. "You too. Feeling okay?"

She shrugs. "Kind of." She projects a little bit of pain and tiredness at him and then shields it again, replaces it with love and a feeling of happiness that he's here.

He can't help it, he tightens his arm around her and closes his eyes, sinks into her mind where it's safe. "Me too," he says.

She slips an arm around his waist and angles into him, humming a little. "I'm tired," she says, and he snorts a little. He hasn't actually been well-rested in weeks.

"Yeah. Me too."

"Well, if you listened to Tuck and didn't wander around so much maybe you'd be less tired."

Rex grumbles under his breath, something a little too rude in Mando'a that he hasn't taught her yet (there are some phrases she does not need to know). Ahsoka gets his meaning though because she twists and glares at him.

"I can't believe you."

"Tuck scolds me enough. You're supposed to take my side, here."

"Since when?"

"I don't know, Soka, since ages ago." He kisses the corner of her mouth and she wrinkles her nose.

"I'm getting mixed signals here, are you annoyed at me or not?"

"Kriffing furious," he whispers, kissing her again, properly, still gently.

...

Ahsoka hums, curling into Rex, closing her eyes and melting into the kiss. I love you, Rex, she thinks, unwilling to break away long enough to actually say the words.

Rex does pull back, murmurs, "I love you too, ner'jetii," and then drops a light kiss to the tip of her nose.

And the warmth and love flowing through her (most of it her own, some of it spilling over the bond) is enough to block out the lingering pain (most of the blaster wounds are… healed to an extent, but she still has a couple weeks of physical therapy to go through before she'll be able to start slowly running through her lightsaber forms again), so she rests her head on his shoulder, basks in the feel of his arms secure around her.

Something's been bothering her the last two weeks, though, and she feels when Rex picks up on that, sending her a light questioning thought, a sort of ? feeling.

She hesitates before answering him, though, because she's not entirely sure he's ready for this, if he even wants to have this conversation, but she takes a deep breath and thinks of the memory of being nearly one with the Force, of floating, and of the promise that called her back, and then she asks him, tentative, almost afraid of the answer, You said goodbye with-did you mean the vows?

...

Rex shields his initial reaction, fast, but he knows she can still feel him stiffen. He doesn't want to talk about this now, although he knows himself well enough to know that all the excuses he makes about timing and their pain and the fact that his squad is just outside in the med bay are just that: excuses.

He rests his chin between her montrals, humming a little to stave off the anxiety he senses she's feeling. She's half in his lap at this point and he just wants to hold her close and kiss her and not think about that .

He had thought he was going to lose himself entirely. In the face of everything else that had happened, it had been forgotten for a while, but he had almost become just a number again, almost been lost . He might as well have been dying.

But he can't pretend he didn't mean it. He's known for ages that she's the only person he could ever make those vows to. But if he'd thought about it, it had never truly been an option, and hardly something he could just… ask her for.

Not a promise to be made without asking her first, certainly.

He's been silent for too long, and she's getting really worried, he can feel it, but he doesn't really want to do this now.

She'd said the vows back and he knows, had felt, that she knew what they meant. And that scares him because none of that was meant to happen the way it has and- and they're technically , from a purely literal standpoint, married.

But it doesn't count and now when he thinks about the vows they taste like loss.

He answers out loud because out loud it's easier to control how much or how little he shares - right now he doesn't want to lower his shields. "I… I said them because I wanted to and I thought I'd never get another chance." Death makes people honest, he supposes. "So I meant them. Did you mean them, when you said them?"

He doesn't know how to explain that it doesn't feel right that they'd made those promises when they were losing each other. Promises like that should belong to the sun and dancing and freedom, not to the dying.

...

Rex takes so long to answer that Ahsoka almost starts to panic, because what if he really didn't, or what if this was a bad question to ask, or-

And then he answers, says he meant them (past tense, she tries not to worry too much about what that means), and he asks her if she meant them.

She takes a moment to consider the question first, before she answers. She doesn't think he'll really respond to a simple yes or no, not all that well anyway, so in lieu of words she sends him a memory:

Calm, happy, peaceful, floating in the Force, free of war and pain and sorrow and anger, and she wants to stay, and the Force asks her if she wants to break her bonds and she almost says yes, because she doesn't want to go back, she wants to float, but-

But she'd promised.

She'd made a promise, and she has to keep that, because promises are forever, unbreakable, and she cannot remember the name she knows is there but he needs her and she promised.

So she reaches for the pain, even though it hurts.

...

Rex doesn't know how to accept that and for a moment he just lets himself project love and wonder at her, his breath hitching in his chest because… because she had promised , had meant it as a promise that she wouldn't break, and that's…

For him? He doesn't understand , still, and he sets aside his worries for a moment and leans into her, runs his fingers lightly over her back headtail, kisses her fierce. Mesh'la Soka, he thinks, humming softly.

He wants to say something to show how much he feels and how much he meant the vows, but none of this is so simple and he feels, ridiculously, like he wants to make sure she doesn't think they are married because, well, because they ought to be on the same page about that.

And he just wishes it had all been different . He's so tired of nearly losing her, of the tiny part of him that had resolved never to say those vows because deep down he's been sure it's just a matter of time . "Ahsoka, ner'jetii , it's just… I don't know, I… I didn't want it to be like that, and-"

"Hey, get yourselves decent, we're coming in!" someone hollers, definitely kriffing Fives , and then the whole squad and Obi and Ani troops in through the doorway and Rex settles for an arm around Ahsoka's waist, her legs slung over his lap, since really he doesn't need his men whistling at him any more than they already do.

Poor Brii still looks extremely embarrassed when he sees them - but the kid seems to be getting over some of his jitters these days. Rex hasn't admitted as much to anyone, but Brii's cheerfulness makes everything brighter, some days.

...

Ahsoka finds herself silently swearing when Fives cuts off what Rex was saying, because she needs him to explain. What does that even mean? I didn't want it to be like that. She huffs out a sigh, glares at Fives-who just smirks back, completely unrepentant. We are definitely talking about this more later, she tells Rex.

He doesn't seem very pleased about that.

She isn't very pleased with the fact that the entire kriffing squad, minus Kix, decided to show up and interrupt the first time she gets to see Rex, out of bed, without Tuck hovering like a disgruntled mother hen. And of course, the moment they enter the room, Rex pulls back from her a little bit.

Well, kriff that. She's waited two weeks for this, she's not letting her squad get in the way.

Ahsoka rolls her eyes at Fives and presses closer to Rex, curling against his chest, basically in his lap, and she pulls her blanket snug around them both and tucks her head beneath his chin. Obi-Wan is grimacing a bit, and she sticks her tongue out at him (he rolls his eyes), because she's not a Jedi anymore so she can do whatever she wants.

… to be fair, she pretty much did whatever she wanted before, but whatever. Details.

"I like your armor, Brii," she says with a small smile. It's painted in 501st blue and green and accented with gold. "You'll be the most colorful vod in the entire GAR."

The shiny beams at the compliment, and his lingering embarrassment at the intimacy of Rex and Ahsoka's position vanishes. "Thank you, Commander," he says brightly.

"Sorry about the party, Snips," Anakin says, shooting Fives a look. "It was just supposed to be Obi-Wan and I, but Fives and the others insisted."

Ahsoka laughs, rolls her eyes. "I'm not surprised, Skyguy. It's Fives, after all."

...

Fives makes an offended face and Rex can't help but smile (although he thinks that lately, most of Fives' boisterousness and snark has been affected). "He didn't say we couldn't come," he grumbles. "And we haven't really been allowed in to see you, you know. I mean it's partially our fault you're stuck in here, so…" He says that like it's a joke but Rex knows him well enough to catch the fleeting stab of pain in his eyes. His friend has been struggling to deal with all this.

Still. Kriff him for interrupting him - Rex knows Ahsoka is concerned about what he'd been going to say and it is an important discussion they need to have. Which he just loves .

"No, it's not," Ahsoka says firmly. "It was all a mess."

That's an understatement but Rex is getting used to this, the part where they all pretend everything is fine and then they go back to fighting a war they can't win.

Except this time there's the matter of the Chancellor having been arrested for treason and for being a Sith Lord - that's all anyone outside their battalion has been talking about. Everyone is, understandably, shaken and angry and confused and everything's been derailed and missions are more or less on hold except for the vital ones.

Rex doesn't really even care . He hopes it all means the war is ending and maybe soon they can go home, wherever home is, but for now it's just one more thing, and it's hard enough for him to function just focusing on his men and his Jedi.

"So are you feeling better, sir?" Tup asks, smiling a little. His hair is growing back, which is good, but it's going to take a while to get back to where it was - poor him. He'd been oddly proud of his hair.

"Fine, thanks," Ahsoka says. "I'm just… really tired."

Literally the entire squad nods, and Rex snorts, although it isn't that funny.

...

Ahsoka smiles and curls against Rex and chats with her squad (whatever the GAR says, these men are hers) for a while, but she's fast growing tired and there was a reason Anakin and Obi-Wan came, so she sends her Master a pleading thought.

"Right," Anakin says, standing up and cutting Fives off in the middle of a story (something about how he woke up one morning to find that Brii had added a bunch of colors to his tattoo while Fives was asleep, because Tup had bet Brii he couldn't do it without waking Fives up but hadn't said he couldn't have help, and she's actually really curious how the shiny managed, she'll have to get the rest of the story some other time), "everybody out. Jedi business."

Fives grumbles good-naturedly but stands, grabs Jesse and Brii and drags the two out, something about you owe me drinks, and she decides she does not want to know.

Rex just glares, silently daring Anakin to say something.

Anakin doesn't.

"Ahsoka," Obi-Wan starts, getting her attention, "we'd like to talk to Kix now, if you're feeling up to that."

She nods. "Sure." She's tired, but this is an important conversation, and anyway, the medics always kick Rex out too soon, and she doesn't want him to go. "Do I have to move?"

She doesn't want to move. Rex's arms are warm and safe around her, comforting, and she closes her eyes, nestles her head into the side of his neck and lets out a soft breath. I miss you, cyare.

...

I miss you too . Kriffing medics never let him stay as long as he wants, although Tuck tries to get them to let him. But Tuck is still just an assistant, so his opinion is more or less disregarded in that area.

"Tuck won't let Kix out of bed," Anakin says with a sigh. "So we'd probably better go to him."

Rex feels Ahsoka wince at that, and he tightens his arms around her for a second.

I don't want to move , Ahsoka grumbles.

I know. Me neither .

"I can carry you, Snips, and we'll get you a good chair, but we should probably have this discussion with him as soon as possible before he accidentally overextends himself again."

"Fine." Ahsoka shifts in his lap and pulls her blanket off both of them, rolls it up and sets it on the end of the couch. Rex doesn't want to let go of her but he knows he isn't strong enough yet to carry her anywhere, and he doesn't think she should walk, either. She doesn't want to walk, anyway. Anakin comes over, gives him a look which Rex mostly ignores, and fits his arms under Ahsoka, carefully tucking her against his chest.

Rex resists a childish urge to reach for her hand and hold it while they walk; she's fine and Kenobi has to put up with enough as it is. And since Rex definitely intends to stay as close as possible to her the rest of the time he's allowed in the med bay today, he might give Kenobi a small break. Kriffing General's going to have to learn to manage all that disapproval one of these days.

Kix is propped up on pillows by one of the walls of the med bay, three layers of blankets pulled up to his chest. He looks weak and pale and tired, but he still smiles at them as they walk over. Tuck joins them, looking wary, as if he half expects them to start urging Kix to lift things with the Force or show off his lightsaber skills.

(Kix's new saber is lying on a table by his bed, next to his blaster and medpac.)

Kenobi sits down on his bunk, by his feet, and Rex settles into a wide stance close by until a few junior medics come over with extra chairs for them and, thank the little gods, a blanket for Ahsoka.

He sits down and Anakin sets Ahsoka in her own chair as Kix says, "Hey, vod . Generals. Commander. What do you need?" His voice is thready and weak and Rex frowns.

Ahsoka gets up out of her chair, blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and he reaches out and grabs her arms because Soka, you idiot, just stay sitting .

Tuck isn't happy, but Rex has to admit it's a comfort when she drops into his lap and leans back against his better shoulder, wriggling a little to get more comfortable. He can't help a soft, amused snort as he wraps his arm around her to tug her closer against his chest.

Stop thinking I'm cute, Rex!

He shrugs a little, trying not to smirk too much. Oops .

...

Ahsoka hums contentedly and snuggles into Rex's arms, determinedly ignoring Tuck's pointed glare. She doesn't care. They don't let her see Rex often enough, she misses him, and she doesn't care if Tuck glares because Rex is here.

"We need to talk to you about your training," Anakin says, and Kix winces.

"Look, sir, I appreciate it, but I can't," Kix says. "I don't want to be kriffing terminated."

"Trust me, I have no intention of allowing that," Obi-Wan says, firmly. "Kix, you've spent so long suppressing the Force that now that you've accepted it, you have to learn to control it or you'll have a repeat of Kamino."

...

Kix looks away from Kenobi briefly and his eyes find Rex. He looks like he's asking for help, so Rex leans forward a little, ignores Ahsoka's grumbling. He wishes he could project something to Kix like he can Soka, but he settles for talking. "No one's asking you to be a Jedi, Kix. They just want to make sure you know how to use the Force so you don't hurt yourself - right?"

"Right," Anakin agrees. "We can make sure you know what to do with it so I don't lose my best medic."

"But…" Kix sighs and closes his eyes a moment, grimacing. "They'd terminate me "

"We won't let them anywhere near you," Ahsoka says, and Rex nods.

Kix frowns and twists his hands in his blanket, and Rex meets his eyes, tries to communicate a promise, that he won't let anyone take Kix like they took him.

"What do you want to learn?" Anakin asks, helpfully.

Rex can tell Kix doesn't want to answer, probably doesn't want to admit that he does want to learn something with the Force. They aren't supposed to, he knows what the Kaminoans taught them. Force-sensitive clones just don't survive being cadets, and the longnecks made them think the Jedi didn't care that clones were dying for having the Force.

Once Rex had met Anakin, he'd decided that couldn't be true - but it just wasn't something the vod'e talked about, not with each other, so certainly not with their Jedi.

"If I… had to, sir, then healing," he says, of course . Anakin grins, almost fondly, and Kenobi's own smile is gentle, understanding.

"I can teach you that," Kenobi says, and Rex can tell Kix wants that, bad, but he doesn't say so, just pulls back a little and looks down.

...

Kix doesn't quite know what to do.

He wants to learn to use the Force, to know when to stop, to be able to not burn himself up (though if he'd just listened to the Force everything would've been fine, honestly); he also wants to not get terminated. And even though the Generals are promising they won't let that happen, he remembers them promising Commander Tano and Rex they wouldn't let Rex get reconditioned, and then Rex being taken to Kamino anyway.

It's not that he doesn't trust them, just that… they aren't all-powerful. (Neither are the Kaminoans, a voice in the back of his mind whispers, but some training is too ingrained to be forgotten.)

"Once the Council hears about how Force-sensitive clones have been treated, they'll put a stop to it," General Skywalker adds, and Kix flinches without entirely meaning to.

"Sir, we can't-"

"Do you trust me, Kix?"

Kix hesitates, nods miserably. "Yes, sir. With my life." Obviously. He's kriffing General Skywalker, of course he trusts the Jedi. What a stupid question. "But the Jedi-"

"Are most certainly not okay with this treatment," Kenobi inserts firmly, "and I don't believe many of them will agree with the type of conditioning the Kaminoans seem to be using."

"It's impressive you've survived as long as you have with how you've been suppressing the Force," General Skywalker says, as though that should mean something. "You don't have to hide anymore, Kix. You're already my best medic-why not pick up a little Force healing? Someone on the Resolute should be able to do it." Unsaid is that that someone is not me.

Nor is it Commander Tano, from what Kix remembers of her attempt to heal Rex-clumsy, too much power improperly directed, and a lot of it wasted. Better to use less power more efficiently. Raw power doesn't solve everything.

"Alright," Kix finally says, still hesitant. "But only because I have to." He's lying. He wants this, more than he's ever wanted anything in his life.

But on Kamino, wanting is something forbidden. Weapons, units, don't want.

They survive.

...

"Wonderful," Kenobi says, and Rex thinks the General is actually excited . "Are you too tired, or can I teach you a meditation technique? It will help you get used to how the Force feels, and it will be good for your healing."

Kix visibly hesitates, taking a short, nervous breath, then he nods. "Yes, sir, you can do that." Rex tunes them out, more or less, because Ahsoka's sleepiness is starting to bleed across the bond and make him feel fuzzy, and he was tired to begin with, and he suspects the medics won't let him stay long if she falls asleep, so he has to take what time he has. He tightens his arm around her waist and rests his chin on her shoulder, sighing.

I don't want to go back to the barracks .

I don't want you to, either.

They're going to be the worst , he thinks. About you and me. Every time. And Brii won't stop pestering me to let him give me a tattoo.

You should! Ahsoka is serious, he thinks, and he grumbles a little out loud.

I don't want any tattoos, Ahsoka, and every time he does a tattoo for someone it's just… all these bright colors . Colors are all well and good for Brii, and now Fives apparently, but he doesn't want some flamboyant, stylized tattoo.

Oh, come on, Rex, she thinks, and she's definitely falling asleep because her train of thought is starting to jump around a lot, makes it confusing what she actually wants to say to him, and he catches snippets of nonsense thoughts about meditation and Kix and himself. Live a little .

Your definition of that phrase and mine are apparently very different, cyare.

He glances back up at Kix, and his vod has his eyes closed, brow furrowed, and is very, very still. Kenobi leans back a little and smiles. "He's good at this," he says, to Anakin, mostly. "I didn't expect that."

Rex thinks he'd be terrible at meditating.

You would .

Thanks, jetii .

Soka pulls her blanket tighter around her shoulders and rests her hand over his where it rests against her side. She lets out a long, soft sigh, and Rex smiles because most of the pain and weariness in her thoughts is just background noise to heavy drowsiness.

Go to sleep , he thinks, and she doesn't even respond, just tightens her hand on top of his and drops her head back against his shoulder. He doesn't want to let her go.

"Maybe we should let you and Ahsoka go now," Anakin says, glancing over, and Kenobi does too and shakes his head, but he's smiling just a bit.

"Apparently."

Rex shrugs, shakes his head. If the two of them aren't here with Anakin and Kenobi, the medics will tell him he has to give her back and let her sleep in her own bunk and he'll have to leave. "We're fine. She's fine."

"Rex, she's asleep ," Kenobi says, raising an eyebrow.

"I know, but…" Rex fumbles for an excuse, shrugs again. "It's fine."

Anakin frowns, turns more towards him, and shakes his head dubiously. "Rex, I'm giving you an opportunity to go be alone with her somewhere and you don't want to? What the kriff, vod ?"

Rex shifts a little, glances at Tuck, who's busy sterilising some equipment and acting like he's not listening. "Well, they don't really let me. I mean Tuck would, but he's not in charge, and they always make me go back to the barracks when she gets tired or when she goes to sleep, so if it's all the same to you, I'd rather just stay here for now."

Anakin scowls, crossing his arms. "You're kidding."

Rex finds himself wanting to smile and has to contain it. "No, sir. They keep ignoring Tuck because he's a junior medic and Kix because he's injured." If Anakin's reaction is anything to go by, maybe his General is going to fix this for him. Hells, Kenobi looks surprised and displeased.

...

"We'll see about that," Anakin growls, unreasonably angry. What the kriff are the medics thinking? "You stay there. I'll be right back." Everyone in the Temple's kriffing medcenter should know by now that Rex and Ahsoka belong together, honestly. And kriff this not listening to Tuck because he's a junior medic; if they won't listen to Tuck even after Anakin intervenes, well, the medic does deserve a promotion.

Do try not to start any fights, Obi-Wan says dryly across their bond, and Anakin smirks, projects obviously fake innocence.

Me? Never, Master!

His Master feels a bit apprehensive, but doesn't say anything as Anakin leaves to wander the med bay in search of the senior medic. The medics are all nulls, or rejected Initiates who ended up in the Corps, with a couple Jedi on standby for serious cases; they're not used to dealing with non-Jedi Force users, but kriffing seriously, they've dealt with Rex and Ahsoka before, they should know better!

The head medic is a female Twi'lek named Chaya, and she smiles professionally at Anakin when he approaches her. "What can I do for you, Knight Skywalker?"

He's short, sharp, straight to the point. "Kriffing let Rex stay with Ahsoka, like my medics tell you. They don't do well when they're separated, haven't you figured that out by now?"

Tuck, who has causally moved within hearing distance while still pretending total obliviousness, turns his head away to stifle a smile.

"I'm sorry, Master Jedi," Chaya says, "but that's against the rules, which we have for good reason-"

"Oh, kriff off," he snarls. "How often does she have nightmares? She'll sleep better with Rex. Kriffing listen to my medics, they know them better than you do."

"All due respect, but as a junior medic, Tuck doesn't have authority-"

"You're mistaken, Chaya. Tuck is a senior medic."

"He is?"

"I am?"

"Yeah. He is. So listen to him. If you can't give my padawan the ideal healing environment, I'll take her back to the Resolute and let Tuck treat her. Understood?"

Chaya nods, swallows. "Of course, Knight Skywalker."

...

Tuck takes Ahsoka from Rex and carries her back to her bunk, Rex staying close behind him. He's tired and swaying on his feet but Anakin had promised the medics would let him stay with Ahsoka, so that's good enough. As Tuck sets her down (and gives Rex a look like I'm trusting you here ), Ahsoka wakes up a little, blinking owlishly up at them both.

"Just make sure she's actually resting, please, Rex," Tuck says, pats him on the shoulder, then he leaves. Rex sighs, and since he finds himself struggling to stay upright, sits down on the bunk, takes off his boots, and curls up next to her, wrapping both arms around her and kissing the top of her head.

You're still here? she thinks, humming, feeling vaguely surprised.

I am.

That's enough, because she sighs and reaches up, curls her fingers in the front of his shirt, and presses her face into his shoulder. Okay .

He laughs a little, can't help it, and closes his eyes. He can stay , for once. I've missed you, ner'jetii .

...

Ahsoka hums, curling closer into Rex's side, exhaustion a leaden blanket dragging her down, but-

But she doesn't want to sleep, because Rex is here and if she falls asleep, he'll be gone when she wakes up. Don't go, she pleads silently, aware a tendril of fear has slipped through the bond, too tired to shield it. I can't stop dreaming.

She thinks, maybe, if he's here, the nightmares might go away. And she's so so tired of waking up sobbing from dreams where she's too late,where he's gone, just another number, where he looks right through her and doesn't even know who she is, doesn't even know her name. On Kamino, she'd almost lost him twice-all she wants to do is forget, but she can't stop seeing the memories on repeat, every time she closes her eyes, and when she wakes up and she's alone for a heart-stopping moment he's gone.

Please don't go, cyare.

...

I'm here , he thinks, soothes his hand over her upper arm. "Right here." Her fingers twist tighter in his shirt and he can see images from her nightmares still chasing around in her head. He should have been here but he wasn't and she's been alone.

He's been having similar nightmares, but he also dreams he couldn't pull her back and the bond had broken and he'd been left behind, trapped alone in his head and everything hurting . He shields that from her, but leaves the understanding .

I'm not going anywhere, ner'jetii. He doesn't promise he never will because he doesn't believe that, but for now he's not letting go of her. He feels a small surge of anxiety from her and tightens his hand on her shoulder briefly and hums a bit. You can go to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up.

...

Sleep calls her, but she finds herself too tense, suddenly, because- I'm not going anywhere, he says, and past his shields the thought slips that he can't promise forever because he doesn't believe it.

He doesn't believe he'll stay.

She should cling tighter to him, because of that, savor the little time she has with him, because she doesn't know when he'll go or why or-but she can't, because the thought of losing him, of him leaving, is terrifying.

She tries to hide that feeling from him, but she can't quite manage, because she's tired and they're too close and she wants him, wants him to stay. Please, Rex, she tells him, drawing away a little. He can't leave, not now, not after everything they've done.

...

"Soka," he says, shifting back, frowning. She feels a little panicked and he slides his hand from her shoulder to her cheek, trying to ground her a little. "Hey, I mean it, I'm staying." He projects warmth and surety, but she still doesn't really relax, and he meets her eyes, trying to understand why she's so anxious suddenly.

"But you aren't staying forever," she says softly, voice hitching a little, and she projects a feeling at him, one he senses she'd gotten from him. His inability to promise more than now . He sighs, closes his eyes, doesn't even know how to explain. I'm sorry, he thinks, uselessly. I just… I'm afraid sometimes, Soka. She needs to sleep, and he promised Tuck he'd try to let her rest, and he thinks it would hardly help her nightmares to tell her he can never forget that he's destined to die, much sooner than she will. He shields that and rubs his thumb over the soft curve of her cheekbone.

She's not happy with that excuse, he feels it, feels she knows it's an excuse, and he can't really look her in the eye. That isn't the reason, Rex. I thought we were being honest with each other, we promised.

He wishes she'd stop reminding him of that. He isn't being dishonest, he's just not saying the whole thing, because not everything needs to be said, discussed.

Kriff all of this. He just wants to hold her and have her and not have to think about the war or Kamino or almost losing her or any of it.

...

Rex doesn't say anything, doesn't look her in the eye, tightens his shields, and it feels-it feels like the days after Kadavo, when there'd been so many spaces between them, when every conversation had been half-truths and evasion and shadows, and that scares her more than she wants to admit. She doesn't want to go back to those days.

But it almost seems like there's no choice.

She's so tired of this, of there always being something between them, something keeping them from just existing, in the rare moments of quiet. It almost feels like they can only truly be close to each other when they're on some mission, in life-or-death circumstances.

Ahsoka hates it.

She nudges at his shields, softly, swallowing back tears (because this is too much, she just wants to curl up and luxuriate in the fact that he's hereand the medics aren't kicking him out). Please don't shut me out, she sends, but there's no give to his shields, nothing, and she misses him. She misses him and she doesn't understand why he has to do this, to lie-not lie, not technically, because he's just not talking, and that's the same kriffing excuse he used after Kadavo, and it just feels like everything's falling to pieces around her and she stifles a quiet sob.

...

He kriffing hates this. She's crying and scared and disappointed in him again but at least this way his fears are just his . She's always hopeful about the future, always been the one who's been sure it'll all be okay . And it's not that he doesn't hope , exactly, it's… he's realistic. And scared. And he doesn't want to pull her into that, to remind her (especially now) that an end is inevitable.

I'm sorry , he says, wretched. I know I'm… He knows he's scaring her and making things worse but he doesn't want to talk about it. It would just make things worse, and you need to sleep. Kriffing terrible excuse, well done, Rex. I'm sorry. He closes his eyes and sighs loudly through his nose, runs his thumb over her cheekbone again.

It's just, what good can possibly come from telling her he can't hold on too tight because he knows he's going to die? The Kaminoans can't stop him with rules these days, but his accelerated aging means they might as well have. They just don't have time and he can't forget it, not when they're here like this, because he starts imagining that it could be like this forever but it just can't.

...

Ahsoka swallows heavily, closes her eyes for a minute, takes a shuddering breath. Sorry doesn't make it better, she tells him, bitter and not bothering to hide it. She wants nothing more than to just curl into him and fall asleep, but she can't, not now, not knowing he doesn't-he doesn't-

She doesn't even want to think about it.

So she shifts, rolls over, turning her back to him, tries to ignore the way she feels cold and empty without his hand on her cheek. He reaches out to her, but she pushes up shields, hard, hoping he'll get the memo.

He does, dropping his hand before it touches her.

(She tries not to feel worse at that.)

She doesn't want to sleep, but she can't ignore her body's exhaustion any longer, and soon her eyes drift closed and her breathing evens out as she drifts off.

Rex!

He looks right through her, doesn't even hear her, his mind surrounded by shields she can't get through, shields like mountain ranges, and she screams for him but he's gone- but he's not, he's there, but she's too late, too late.

Execute Order Sixty-Six.

She's surrounded by them, by her men, but they aren't the same, faces too blank and empty and she doesn't-she can't-she reaches for her 'sabers on instinct because she remembers this, remembers this fight, but her 'sabers are gone and she's screaming for Rex because she knows what happens (this is in the past this is in the past), he hears her and he comes to her because he won't kill her, but-but her shout has no effect, he doesn't even react, and she reaches for him but-

But the bond is gone, like it never even existed, and she can't feel him, and he's gone and she can't, she can't. Please, she begs, but there's no response, no answer, please don't shut me out, Rex, please, please, and then the blasters fire and there's so much pain and she can't breathe and this isn't how it happened, this isn't how it's supposed to go, please, Rex, come back. Please .

He has to come back. He can't do this.

He promised.

...

Rex doesn't sleep. There's too much worrying him and he doesn't know what he should do (or really he does but he doesn't want to have to) and everything feels wrong again. He rests his head on his arm and stretches out as close to Ahsoka as he can, because he senses his touch wouldn't be welcome now, even though she's asleep.

At least he didn't have to go back to the barracks, alone.

None of this was supposed to happen like it has and it's his fault (even the kriffing marriage vows are his fault), but he doesn't know what else to do . And he'd tried to talk about the promises but kriffing Fives had ruined it and now he's accidentally let it slip that he doesn't believe they have a future .

Ahsoka shifts in her sleep, away from him, curling in on herself a little, and he wants to put his arms around her because he senses a twinge of pain and he's tired , but she'd pulled up her shields and clearly didn't want him that close, so he doesn't move, except to wrap his arms around his stomach and try to close his eyes and at least rest.

Then she twists again, whimpers, and he presses against her thoughts and there's enough give in her shields that he can sense she's dreaming. So he says kriff distance and scoots close to her, slings an arm over her shoulders and kisses the back of her neck, projecting calm toward her. Kriffing nightmares.

He's so weary .

It doesn't help like he'd hoped it would, getting closer to her; she's still shielded so he can't see her nightmare, can't feel more than surface emotion, but that's enough to let him feel her panic building. He eases closer to her, curling around her lithe body (and he can feel she's trembling, from cold or the nightmare, he doesn't know), but it still doesn't seem to help at all.

Then suddenly he feels her reach out for him so fast and desperate that he flinches, has to make an effort to leave his shields down, and she's shouting his name in his head, mental voice raw and terrified, and he presses back, wraps the bond in love.

I know, kriff Soka, I know, I'm right here. It's okay .

But she just reaches harder, like she can't find him, and he tries to answer but she's just panicking, begging him to come back and not shut her outand this is his fault, but she won't respond when he tries to reach back and calm her down. Out loud, she's whimpering, and he grits his teeth and sits up, gently shaking her (because she's still healing and he doesn't want to frighten her awake).

At least this time when she wakes up he'll be here , like he should be.

...

Ahsoka snaps awake all at once to someone shaking her shoulders, and she reacts instinctively, jerking away and reaching for the Force, her 'sabers-but her 'sabers aren't here and she can't help but panic because-because-

She finds the wall, presses her back against it, tries to blink the sleep out of her eyes and orient herself (a part of her is screaming for Rex and she stifles it as best she can because he's not here), and it takes her too long to realize Rex is sitting up across from her, one hand ever-so-slightly extended, like he can't quite keep himself from reaching for her.

Memory comes rushing back and she stares at him, remembers him shooting a blaster at her like he's never even seen her face before, remembers reaching for him and him being gone, and a sob bursts past her lips. She reaches out to him with both hands, desperate to feel him, to know he's here, and drops all her shields, curling up in his mind as much as he'll let her. His arms wrap around her, and he pulls her close, leans her head against his chest, one hand gently rubbing soothing patterns up and down her back headtail.

Don't leave, don't go, please don't leave, she thinks, not really meaning to project but too emotional and desperate to put up any shields.

...

I won't, I'm right here, I promise, he says, keeps up a soft running layer of comforting phrases, leaves as many of his shields down as he can (except around the things he can't talk about because if she's going to know, it's going to be because he tells her, not because she happens across it in his mind). She's clinging to him, tight, and he kisses the top of her head, tries to be as close and as present as he can. You're safe, and I'm not going anywhere. I told you I'd be here when you woke up.

If she didn't believe him, he knows that wasn't her fault. He keeps making promises and then he doesn't know what to do with them, but this one at least he kept, intends to stick to. He doesn't want to leave her alone again, kriff the medics and Tuck and his men and whoever else wants to get in his way, just… She needs him. And he doesn't know why it's so hard to just let it go and be close .

It's easier not thinking, so he tightens his arms around her, listens to the pattern of her thoughts, projects calm and understanding into her panicked thoughts.

...

It takes a while, but finally her sobs subside and she calms enough to think, to really feel Rex's presence, and she lays her head on his shoulder, presses her face against the side of his neck, closing her eyes and taking deep, shuddering breaths.

She's exhausted.

Maybe that's why, when she finally feels like she can breathe again, she just flat-out asks the question on her mind, instead of dancing around it. Why don't you want the future, Rex?

And maybe that's not the best way to word the question, but she's so tired and she misses him and she misses the closeness of before Kamino. And she can't understand why he doesn't want to have a future when he'd made-the promises he had. And meant them. Even if he doesn't really want to talk about it, he'd still said them, and she'd said them back, meant them (still means them). So it doesn't make sense. Why would he promise if he didn't want-if he didn't want the future?

...

Rex wants so much sometimes it hurts, a pain in his chest that he can't quite dismiss as nothing , because he sometimes remembers his brother who deserted and found a family and something else and he wishes he was able to just forget the whole kriffing war and leave.

He wants to be able to imagine a real, proper family and to not have to constantly worry about his vod'e because they're safe and he always, always wants to have Ahsoka forever where she can't get hurt anymore.

But dreams like those are just dreams, with a slim chance of coming true, and that hurts. So he doesn't think about them, not often.

He does want the future. More than he has any right to.

That's not it, he thinks, knowing she can feel he's being honest. Of course I kriffing want it, Soka, and you.

Then why…? and she sends him a series of impressions, him saying he didn't know, he wanted it to be different, his doubt, her frustration and disappointment at coming up against all his shields again, a fear that he doesn't want anything more .

He balks at that question because why is so much harder. Even if he sort of knows the answer.

But she feels lonely and like she's afraid of his answer and she's staring at him with tear tracks on her cheeks and he's not going to make that worse. It's… I don't know how to explain, Soka, but I can try.

There's a small, soft surge of gratitude and he sighs. I want a future, Soka, with… with you. But I don't think we can have one.

...

What does that mean? she asks, because of course they can have a future, the war is going to be over soon now that Sidious has been apprehended, and there won't be any rules or regulations standing between them, because she's no longer a Jedi and the GAR protocol won't matter after the end of the war.

Rex sends her a vague sort of surprise, like don't you know? and she frowns, because she doesn't understand.

Know what?

There's a long pause, and she senses that this isn't easy for him to talk about by any means; she doesn't push him, just waits, knowing he'll tell her. He will. She can feel it, this time.

Soka, he says finally, shifting to look down at her, I only have half a life.

She frowns, not understanding. What the kriff does that mean?

Something changes on his face, and he swallows, says, You really don't know?

Know what? Ahsoka snaps, impatient, because obviously she doesn't know.

The accelerated aging doesn't stop at maturity. I-I'll grow old twice as fast as you will.

No. No, that can't be true. Anakin would never-the Jedi would never-they have to fix this. No! No, I'm not losing you like that, Rex. I won't. I can't.

...

Rex had never thought that Ahsoka wouldn't know . All the vod'e know, and it had seemed like the Jedi had understood that the clones didn't get the childhood and adolescence that other humans got.

But clearly he'd been wrong, she has had no idea , and he'd just thought she didn't want to think about it anymore than he did. She's tripping over her own thoughts, panicking, and he doesn't know what else to say except to push out the rest of the truth while he can, all at once, before he loses his nerve.

I don't have a future, Soka, and I didn't want to try to pretend I could. You deserve better than… than if I tried to promise forever and then I died and left you.

They can't kriffing do that! Ahsoka's staring at him in shock still and she reaches up suddenly, traces the lines around his eyes like she's afraid he's going to disappear now . I thought that was temporary, we thought- They can't take you from me like that.

He sighs, keeps tracing his fingers over her headtail, trying to soothe her a little. I told myself I wasn't going to say the vows because it would be too cruel to you - she flinches - and I… When I did say them, I just wish… I never wanted it to be like that . Me thinking I was about to leave you. I don't know, Soka, it's just… He gives up, closes his eyes on a long exhale.

...

I'll tell Anakin, we'll fix this, Rex. She's shaking and she can't seem to stop. I promise, they can't take you away from me like this. They can't take our forever.

She doesn't want to lose him like this.

Ahsoka leans forward, kisses him fierce and possessive, because he is hers and they can't have him. I love you, Rex, she thinks, slipping her arms tightly around him. Mine. Forever.

...

Rex kisses her back, shields his disbelief. Ner'jetii , he answers, clasps his hands together behind her neck. It helps that she knows, understands, but that doesn't make it all go away .

"I don't know what we can do," he murmurs when she pulls back. He wishes he could just kiss her again because that's so much better than thinking about everything else, but now he can't ignore it because she knows too.

"I'll tell Anakin," Ahsoka says, just as quietly. "We'll tell all of them, we'll make the Kaminoans fix this ."

And it's a nice plan but Rex can't allow himself to hope for that because that means letting himself hope for her and if he loses that hope again he doesn't think he can take it.

"Before it was the war," he says. " Vod'e die by the thousands so why should I be any different. But even without that, I…" It isn't fair .

...

"You're different because I'm not letting it happen," Ahsoka says, low and fierce. "Not to you, not to any of the squad, not to any of the 501st."

But she doesn't want to think about this anymore, about what will happen if they can't fix it, so she disentangles herself from him, catches his hands in hers and lays back down, drawing him down with her. We'll worry about that in the morning, she tells him silently, presses love and certainty warm against his thoughts. I don't know how long we have before the medics come, so sleep, please? I want you to be here when I wake up.

The next morning, Ahsoka gets up careful and slow, because the world still spins when she stands too abruptly. She wraps her blanket tightly around her shoulders, extends one hand to Rex. He takes it, a bit of confusion flickering across his face. Where are you going?

"We," Ahsoka announces, "are going to find Anakin."

"Oh, great," he mumbles, but he stands and allows her to pull him away from the bed. Careful, Soka, you shouldn't be walking by yourself-

I'm not by myself, she tells him, and grins. "This is important, come on!"

Anakin is in the mess hall, and by the time she gets there she's definitely regretting the decision to walk. Also, she's pretty sure the medics, including Tuck, are going to be furious with her. She's not supposed to leave the med bay yet.

"Skyguy, we have a problem," she announces dramatically, which of course garners the attention of the entire mess.

Anakin jumps, stares up at her. "Snips, what the kriff, you're not supposed to be here-"

"Master, the accelerated aging doesn't stop. " He frowns, not following the thought (though she sees every trooper around wincing a little at the reminder), and she sighs. "They're all aging twice as fast!"

Now he gets it. "The Kaminoans were supposed to fix that when the clones hit maturity," he snaps out, swearing and running a hand through his hair. "We know they have a gene fix!"

...

Rex doesn't know if he staggers because of how tired he is and the fact that he still isn't supposed to be walking or because of Anakin's words, but… there's already a solution? Already something that could mean a real life for him and his vod'e ? And the longnecks have kept it from them?

For a moment he finds himself wanting to burn their entire civilization to the ground, and his anger makes it easier to stand straight-backed and solid behind Ahsoka, cross his arms, pretend he's fine and confident.

His men are all staring, some have gotten to their feet, and he knows that, like him, they had all assumed the the Jedi already knew about their shortened lifespans. They've all made some kind of peace with it, however limited. They were made to fight and to die, and however much their Jedi may have come to care for them, there's no point in asking them to try to fix something that can't be fixed. The fact remains that they are soldiers first, men second, except to the Generals and Commanders who get close enough to know better.

"They do?" Ahsoka breathes, and he feels her relief hit like a tank. "They can change it, make them age normally?"

"At least they said they could," Anakin growls, standing. "Although I don't trust a thing those long-necked traitors say anymore. We should shut them down."

Rex agrees. How many vod'e have they killed and erased and manipulated with no consequences, no one seeing?

He decided a long time ago that he would protect his brothers, that they were more important than orders.

That hasn't changed - in fact, now that there's a chance the war could end , he's more determined than ever to make sure someone is there to speak for his vod'e , to make sure there is more for them than war and orders and the contempt of the entire galaxy. They aren't droids to be thrown away when everything's done and he hopes he can at least ensure some measure of choice for them.

"Please, Skyguy, we have to fix it," Ahsoka says softly, and Rex takes a heavy step forward and slips his hand into hers because he can feel she's scared.

He wants so bad it hurts, wants to be able to think about after without being afraid.

...

Anakin was already angry at the Kaminoans for their callous treatment of the clones as product, for the way Force-sensitive vod'e are exterminated like an infection. The news that the gene fix hadn't been distributed to the men upon their maturity is almost unsurprising.

That doesn't make him less angry, though.

"I'll talk to Obi-Wan about it. He's already talking to the Council about how the clones have been treated. The Jedi will fix this, Rex. I promise."

Ahsoka is clutching Rex's hand like she's afraid he'll vanish any second, and Anakin sends her a wave of soothing warmth. He knows what she's afraid of. (He's afraid of it, too.) I won't let the Kaminoans take time from you, Snips. It's not theirs to take.

Thank you, she says fervently, and then she takes two steps forward and hugs him, hard, still holding on to Rex's hand.

He catches the edge of a projection to Rex, something like you don't have to be afraid anymore, but he doesn't know what it means and besides, that's not his place to pry.

...

"Thank you, vod ," Rex says gruffly, nodding to Anakin. The Jedi haven't historically been good at fixing things but he can tell Anakin is fed up and he trusts his promise.

He sends a thought back to Ahsoka, I know.

He can't believe it, really. That he might… that the war might be almost over. That Ahsoka is his and there are no more rules in the way. That there might be a way to give him his life back.

It's almost too much .

Anakin leaves his breakfast and cup of caf on the table, claps Rex on the shoulder as he goes. "No sense in waiting," he says, and there's a sharp edge to his voice. Rex hopes General Kenobi is already awake or he suspects he'll get a rather rude awakening.

"All due respect, Commander," Tup says, once Anakin is gone. "But you need to sit the kriff down."

He's right, Ahsoka still isn't allowed out of the med bay and Rex isn't supposed to be walking much, so he pulls her over to the bench Anakin had just vacated and sits down, commandeering his General's cup of caf. Ahsoka sits next to him and he can feel she's unsteady, but there's a vein of happiness and relief running through her thoughts and across the bond and it makes him smile a little.

He doesn't even know what to do with this, with the possibility that… that he might get to have this, have a chance at a real life. With her . With no… no war to fight, no more brothers dying. Kriff .

"You two shouldn't have come here," Jesse says. "Kix and Tuck are going to murder you in your sleep."

"Probably," Rex grumbles, but he doesn't care so much. The caf is good (if a little sweet) and Ahsoka is eating Anakin's toast and he's tired and strangely light.

I love you , Ahsoka thinks, and he hums a little, glances over and smiles at her.

Love you too. I'm sorry I didn't explain better before, it's just I thought you knew.

...

It's okay, Ahsoka says, smiles at him, and she pretends to miss the way Fives pretends to gag. A little tiny nudge with the Force, and his cup of hot caf spills onto his lap, eliciting an impressive string of high-pitched curses.

"Commander!" he finally yelps, glares at her (Jesse snickers).

"Yes, Fives?" she asks, pretending innocence as much as she can (she's really not the best liar) and taking another bite of Anakin's toast.

"What was that for?" Fives snaps, and though his voice is sharp his cheeks are stained red from embarrassment.

"What was what for?" Ahsoka smiles sweetly at him (tries to hide the fact that her head hurts, now, that was probably really stupid-Tuck is sogoing to yell at her later), looks over at Brii. "Those red cheeks go pretty nicely with his new tattoo, don't you think, Brii?"

The shiny flushes, but he looks pleased. "Yes, sir," he says eagerly.

She hums a bit, glances over at Rex, who's hiding a smile behind the rim of his cup of caf. "Rex tells me you've been trying to give him a tattoo," she continues, and Rex scowls.

Don't encourage him, 'Soka!

Brii nods, though he frowns just a little. "He keeps saying he doesn't want one."

Ahsoka tilts her head to one side, considering. "I don't know, I think he'd look good with one," and she grins smugly at Rex. "Give me some of that," she adds, steals the mug of caf from him and takes a drink-it tastes awful, but the caffeine is heavenly for her headache.

"Tuck is going to murder you," Rex grumbles, swipes the cup back from her. "You aren't supposed to be drinking caf."

She shrugs. "I'm not supposed to be outside the medbay either, but here I am," and she can't help but laugh a little. "What can I say? I'm not known for following the rules."

You don't say, Rex says, and does he have to sound so sarcastic?

Dogma's comm pings, startling her and making her look away from Rex-also effectively ending the tattoo conversation.

It's Tuck. "Dogma, have you seen the Captain and the Commander?"

Rex shakes his head violently, makes a cutting motion with his hand, and Dogma gulps. "Uh, no, Tuck. Why?"

"Because they're both not here, and if I find out the Commander's snuck out of the medbay I'm not going to be very happy with you, Commander."

Kriff.

...

Rex feels a little (only a very, very little) bad for Tuck. After all, really Ahsoka should be back in bed and accepting visitors, not sitting brazenly in the mess drinking caf and eating toast. He's not even sure what food Tuck is allowing her yet. He can tell Dogma really wants to tell Tuck they're there, because Dogma is, above all else, responsible , and it's really not wise of them to be ignoring their medic's orders.

"I should tell him you're here," Fives grumbles, scrubbing peevishly at his blacks. "I just kriffing had these laundered."

Rex snorts. "You put almost no effort into that, Fives, and you have another set of blacks. Let it go."

"Not kriffing likely," Fives mutters, crossing his arms. "You ought go get me a replacement cup of caf, Commander."

"Why?" Ahsoka says, and she doesn't sound remotely innocent. "It's not my fault you're clumsy."

"You kriffing-" Fives stops when Rex shoots him a look and takes his caf back from Ahsoka, lifts the mug suggestively. He can and will put Fives on dish detail all day if he has to. His friend has yet to learn to watch his mouth. "Come on, Commander."

Ahsoka sighs, shrugs. "I would, Fives, really, but I'm injured and I'm not supposed to walk."

"That didn't stop you before."

"Oh, shut up , Fives, I'll get you your kriffing caf," Tup sighs, getting up. "You like it black, right?"

Fives flings up his hands, shakes his head. "At least someone here appreciates me."

"It's not me!"

Rex snorts and takes a sip of his own drink (and dear kriffing gods why does Anakin have to make it so sweet?), trying not to smile too much. This is one thing he's needed over the past few weeks, the one positive about being forced to stay in the barracks more.

Can I have that? Ahsoka thinks, reaching for his cup, and he raises an eyebrow at her, not letting go of it.

You're not supposed to have caf, and it's horrible. Anakin's kriffing sweet tooth is the size of a whole system .

Well, if you hate it so much, you won't mind if I drink it.

Fine . Rex hands it over (and he's going to regret that and Tuck is going to lecture him for hours about this) and takes a pear off Anakin's plate. No sense letting good food go to waste.

"Stop with the silent conversations," Fives grumbles, overdramatically, and honestly he's too kriffing irritating in the morning. "The dopey love eyes get old ."

"Shut up, you kriffing di'kut ." Rex doesn't have the patience for him - or rather, he did, and he's used it all up. He's too much sometimes, little gods preserve me.

Ahsoka snorts, rolls her eyes at him. Want me to punch him for you?

No, but thanks .

...

Ahsoka hums, slurps down the last of Anakin's caf-there wasn't much left to begin with, and then Rex had drank most of what had been left-and stares sadly at the empty mug. Kriff, caf is horrid, but the caffeine helps the headache.

"Here," Tup says, setting a cup of caf down in front of Fives and dropping back into his seat.

"Thanks-" Fives starts, and then he takes a gulp and splutters, choking. "What the kriffing hell, vod?"

Tup raises one eyebrow, distinctly not amused. "Next time, get your own kriffing caf."

Jesse swipes the mug, takes a drink. "Kriff, Tup how much sugar did you put in this thing?"

Don't you dare, Rex projects, before Ahsoka can even consider stealing the fresh cup.

She makes a face at him. Tuck is already going to kill us, I might as well not have a headache when he does.

That's terrible logic, cyare.

"I'll drink it," Brii volunteers, smiles brightly.

As one, the entire squad turns and says, emphatically, "No!"

Brii pouts.

"You've already had your cup, vod," Tup says, patting the younger trooper's shoulder.

Ahsoka frowns, tilts her head to one side. "What happens if he has more than one cup?"

"You don't want to know," Fives intones dramatically, and he shudders. "Kriff you, Tup. I'll go get my own kriffing caf, even though it's not my fault it spilled…"

Rex, what does Brii do? Ahsoka asks, and she leans forward and grabs the caf. "Bring some cream back, Fives!"

"Kriff you, Commander!"

...

Yeah, Fives is getting dish detail tonight. Kriffing idiot. He won't leave me alone, that's what. One day he had three cups of caf and he spent all morning pestering me about the kriffing tattoo he wants to give me and pulling pranks on everyone and making bets with Fives about literally everything. The kid's a menace on more than one cup of caf .

I don't see the problem , Ahsoka hums. You should get a tattoo, it would be nice, and he obviously really wants to design something for you .

Why. Why is she like this . I don't want one, Ahsoka, it's not professional.

"It isn't that bad when I have caf!" Brii protests. He's gotten out his sketchbook and begun drawing something - probably one of his vod'e . It's strange, but he seems to be trying to draw as many members of the 501st as he can. Rex doesn't see the point. They all have the same face, it can't make for interesting drawing.

"It's awful, kid," Rex grumbles, hides his smile. "You act like a loth-kitten."

Brii makes a face, eyes sparkling, and Rex shakes his head. "I do not ."

"You do," Tup says, matter-of-factly.

In the face of mounting evidence, Brii mutters something under his breath and focuses on his drawing. Tup peers over his shoulder, then glances up at Rex with an odd smile on his face.

"If you're kriffing drawing a picture of me right now I'm going to put you on dish detail with Fives," Rex groans. The kid is probably giving him a kriffing mustache or something (Rex has seen the mocking sketches he's done of Fives, and they aren't flattering).

"I'm not!" Brii protests, and Tup smirks a little and drinks his own caf.

Kriff both of them.

Oh come on, I think you'd be cute with a mustache .

Don't you kriffing start, he snaps, because he can feel she doesn't mean that but for kriff's sake she has to stop encouraging Brii all the time.

...

Ahsoka grins, tightening her blanket around her shoulders as a bit of a chill runs through her.

You should go back to the medbay, Rex says, catching the motion, and she makes a face at him.

I'm fine, Rex! Honestly. Seriously, he's so annoying sometimes. Like okay, she's a little bit cold, but that doesn't mean she has to go back to bed. You sound like kriffing Tuck.

Fives comes back, unceremoniously plopping a jug of cream on the table in front of her. "Here's your kriffing cream, Commander," he mutters, goes to sit down with his fresh cup of caf.

Finally, only took him like five minutes. Ahsoka dumps cream into the mug of caf until it's a light enough brown and takes a sip. "Perfect," she declares. It still tastes awful, but at least it's palatable now, and her head really kriffing hurts.

"You are so weird," Rex grumbles, and she smirks up at him, leans into his shoulder a little.

"You love me anyway, cyare."

"That I do," he agrees with a fond smile, leans down to press a kiss to her forehead.

"Oh, would you kriffing stop," Fives says loudly, "we get it, you two love each other."

Ahsoka lifts one hand, vaguely threatening, and he swears and subsides, clutching his caf tightly.

...

They're all relatively quiet as they enjoy their caf and breakfast, although there's a great deal of whispering happening between Tup and Brii that Rex doesn't entirely trust. Last time they got to talking Fives ended up with an embellished tattoo.

We should get you back to the med bay, you know, he sighs. Tuck's going to get mad enough to come find us if we don't.

I don't want to , Ahsoka says, although he can tell she's tired.

"Hey, Captain," Tup says, and Rex looks up, raising his eyebrows suspiciously.

"Yeah?"

"I gotta show you this, look." Before Brii can stop him, and before Rex is sure what he's doing, Tup has grabbed Brii's sketchbook and comes around to Rex's side of the table.

"Hey, wait, don't!" Brii yelps, pushing himself out of his seat. "It's not finished yet, Tup, give that back."

Tup just chuckles and sits down next to Rex holding the sketchbook against his chest so Rex can't see what's on the page. Definitely an unflattering drawing, then. "Look, vod , you're gonna love this."

"Come on, Tup, don't," Brii says again, hurrying over and reaching for the book. Before he can grab it back though, Tup holds it out to Rex, grinning proudly, eagerly, and Rex takes it automatically, feels Ahsoka leaning toward him to see.

It's not what he thought, at all. It's a very rough sketch, even he can tell, of him and Ahsoka, Ahsoka leaning into his side, eyes alight with mischief, his cup of caf in her hands. He's glaring at her, the slightest smile on his face, angled towards her, and Rex can't believe how much of Ahsoka's expression Brii caught in this little drawing. It makes his throat feel oddly tight and he doesn't know why, except Soka looks happy and he looks happy and it's simple and honest and very Brii , too.

"I'm sorry, you just seemed really comfortable and it was… kind of cute and I wanted to draw you," Brii stammers, seems to want to reach for the sketchbook still, and Rex swallows and hands it back.

"It's fine, kid," he says gruffly. "You're really kriffing good at that."

...

Brii can't quite help himself; the moment he sees Commander Tano stealing the Captain's caf, he has to pull his sketchbook out and draw it. The Commander looks so happy, so proud of herself, and the Captain is glaring but he's smiling and it's just… it's just cute, and his fingers itch to sketch the way the Commander's eyes dance.

Tup figures out what he's drawing almost immediately, makes little whispered comments in his ear as his charcoal flies across the paper. He makes a face-Tup's advice is helpful, but he hates it when people watch him draw, when they look at his rough sketches, because they're so terrible and he doesn't want his ori'vod to see just how bad the sketches start out.

Brii is in the middle of shading the chevrons on the Commander's headtails when Tup grins and says, "Hey, Captain, I gotta show you this, look," and grabs the sketchbook.

And for a moment, the only thing Brii can think of is back on Kamino, when he was a cadet and the others had found him watching a squad attempting a simulation and sketching it-they'd laughed at the elaborate flower designs he'd drawn up, his tattoo ideas, the abstract designs he wanted to paint on his armor when he was assigned to a battalion, and they'd stolen the book and torn up a bunch of the drawings. "Hey, wait, don't!" he exclaims, jumping up, because no, not again, but this is Tup, his ori'vod, and Tup would never do that. Right? "It's not finished yet, Tup, give that back."

Of course, Tup doesn't listen, and he shows the Captain, and the Captain doesn't want Brii to draw him, doesn't like Brii's drawings, doesn't-doesn't-he doesn't want the Captain to see the drawing, it's not even done yet, and it's awful and the Captain will hate him now because he'd drawn him after being told no, and-

"I'm sorry," he stammers out, somehow, around the awful choking in his throat, "you just seemed really comfortable and it was… kind of cute and I wanted to draw you," and he stares down at his feet, one hand half-outstretched, even though there's no way he can get the sketchbook back before the Captain sees it.

And then: "It's fine, kid," the Captain says, and gives the sketchbook back just like that. "You're really kriffing good at that."

Brii freezes, stares at the Captain. "I… wait, really?" He can't help but clutch his sketchbook close to his chest, arms wrapped protectively around it. "But, you said-dish detail?"

"He does that," the Commander says, rolls her eyes fondly, and there's just so much life in her eyes, he itches to try and draw it all. "Don't worry, Brii. That's a really nice sketch."

"It's not done," he says quickly, trying not to sound too defensive. "It'll be better after I finish it-unless you don't want me to finish it? I can throw it away?" He really really hopes they don't want him to throw it away.

"Brii," the Commander says, takes a drink of her caf, "trust me. It's fine. Rex doesn't bite, he's not going to yell at you. I promise."

The Captain gives her a look, like he's annoyed she's promising something like that without asking, or something, but that does make Brii feel a bit better, and he almost manages a shy smile. "Thank you, Commander." He blushes a bit, looks down, scuffing his feet, says, "You're fun to draw-you and the Captain, I mean."

...

Look, you scared him, Rex .

I don't mean to, Soka, Rex grumbles, although he does feel a little bad. He really likes Brii, although why the kid is so cheerful still escapes him most times.

"Thanks," Ahsoka says, out loud, smiling. "What else do you draw?"

Brii scuffs his foot and glances from Ahsoka to Tup to Rex, then back at Ahsoka. "Other people," he says, shyly. "Tattoo designs. Sometimes animals."

Rex smiles a little, can't help it. Kriffing kid is adorable .

"He's good at all of it," Tup says, and Rex chuckles a little because Tup is the definition of an ori'vod with Brii.

"I believe you," he says, and he's tired enough that he briefly considers taking some of Ahsoka's caf, but he knows it would just be disgusting.

Don't you dare . Ahsoka wrinkles her nose and him and tightens her hands around her mug. This is mine .

Trust me, I don't want any of that .

Tup slings his arm around Brii's shoulders and pulls him back to their bench to sit down, and Rex winks at Brii (because the kid deserves a break, really) and grabs Ahsoka's mug from her.

"Rex, you kriffing-" He holds the mug out to his side, away from her, and she gives him a fierce glare before gesturing and the cup yanks out of his fingers, spilling a little.

"Not fair ."

"Don't take my caf," she says, shaking her head, taking a sip, and projecting a threatening impression of Brii giving him some horrendous pink monstrosity of a tattoo on his face.

"I hate you," he grumbles.

...

"No you don't," Ahsoka says easily, and Rex rolls his eyes.

"Shut up."

"Make me," and she smirks at him, ignores the way Fives groans.

Rex hums thoughtfully, sends, Challenge accepted, and leans in and kisses her, fierce and possessive, and she leans into the kiss, smiles.

When she pulls back, Brii is busy working on his sketch again, Jesse is holding his hand out to Tup with a meaningful look on his face (Tup sighsand hands over some credits), and Fives is refusing to look at her and Rex in as melodramatic a way as possible.

In other words, a typical day in the 501st.

Ahsoka smiles quietly, drinks more caf, and wraps her blanket more securely around her, leaning into Rex's side and dropping her head to rest on his shoulder. She'd hardly gotten any sleep last night, and she's already exerted herself more this morning than she has since Kamino.

She's tired.

...

Rex should definitely have gotten Ahsoka back to the med bay before she was too tired to walk, but it's a little late for that now. Oh well. The caf's going to kick in a little while, but for now she's sleepy and doesn't seem to want to move.

He can't believe how… how sure he feels. How comfortable. He doesn't know why but everything feels lighter, easier than it had before. Maybe it's just that she's finally out of the med bay and with him, maybe it's being here with his men and his Jedi without having to worry about a fight - he's not sure. Whatever the case, he's… he's kriffing happy .

"You're on dish detail today, Fives," he says calmly, feels a surge of amusement from Soka.

"Of kriffing course," Fives grumbles, getting up. He scratches his goatee and rolls his eyes, adding, "There's supposed to be an official rotation, Captain. You can't just assign it as punishment."

"Can't I?" Rex says lightly, shrugging. "No one's stopping me, Fives."

"The power's getting to your head, vod ."

"You're the one who can't just watch your mouth." Fives swears , and Rex smiles "What did I tell you?"

"Oh kriff off."

Rex snorts and puts an arm around Ahsoka, and she shifts against his side. We should go back to the med bay.

Don't want to, Rexter. That's too far .

It is a long walk. Rex doesn't want to walk that far again himself. He can tell Tuck they were going to come back but got too tired. It's not a lie, exactly.

Fine, but we should at least go to the barracks, and I can't carry you . His arms aren't healed enough yet.

...

Fine, Ahsoka hums, but she doesn't make a move to get up. This is plenty comfortable right here, and the idea of standing up is suddenly… too much effort. You make a good pillow, she thinks sleepily, feels Rex's side vibrate as he chuckles.

You're not making sense, Soka.

I'm making perfect sense, and she's awake enough to be affronted. You're a good pillow.

He huffs out a sigh, but she can feel his amusement, his love, and she's sure he's probably smiling. You know you have to stand up, right?

No, she grumbles, shifts closer to him. 'M fine here. This is nice. Rex projects a bit of a disgruntled hmf at her, but she ignores him, lets herself drift a bit, although not entirely asleep. You could have Tup carry me, she thinks, because she's not walking anywhere. Not now. Maybe they should've gone back sooner, but she's sick and tired of being stuck in the medbay all the time. Don't wanna walk…

...

Rex doesn't particularly want to ask any of his vod'e to carry Soka, but he can't, so he sighs and stands (and kriff, the blood rushes to his head, and that hurts ) and shrugs. "Can one of you help me get Ahsoka to the barracks? She needs sleep and I'm not-" He gestures to his bandaged shoulder.

"Yeah, sure, vod ," Dogma says, giving him a disapproving look but getting up. "I'm not explaining this to Tuck for you."

"I know."

Tuck's going to kill him, and Kix is going to help. And all the kriffing Coruscant medics are going to scold too. Oops.

Dogma hefts Ahsoka into his arms, blanket and all, and she says, softly, "Thanks, Dogma."

"Sure, Commander," he answers. The comment puts a small smile on his face.

Dogma automatically goes to Rex's bunk and lays Ahsoka down, carefully, then turns to Rex with a look like he's trying not to say something.

"Yes, I know, we were irresponsible," Rex huffs. "Thanks."

Dogma smiles a little, apparently without meaning to. "Just stop doing stuff like this, Captain. You're going to hurt yourself."

"I know. Thanks." Rex wants to protest but this is Dogma trying to say he cares, so he lets it be.

"Okay." Dogma nods stiffly, then turns to go, and Rex smiles after him. His vod has come a long way.

You coming?

Yeah, Soka, be patient . He reaches under his bunk for his datapad (bending over is a mistake), then climbs into the bed next to her and eyes her blanket. Are you going to share?

...

Ahsoka grumbles something inaudible, tugs at the blanket wrapped around her until it comes untangled. I'm cold, she thinks, vaguely aware of Rex reaching under the bunk again and doing-something, she's not sure what, too tired to open her eyes and see.

She figures it out when he lays back down, spreads her blanket over them, and settles another blanket over the top of hers. Of course. The extra warmth is welcome, and she shifts, turns over to face Rex, curling into him. She slips one arm around his waist, hooks one leg around one of his, ignoring the way he hisses a little when her bare foot presses cold against his. Love you, Rexter, she thinks, and he presses a kiss to the tip of her montrals, one at a time. She hums in pleasure, nestles a bit closer.

His arms go around her almost automatically.

He feels safe and secure and warm, and she loves that, loves how his presence soothes the fear and the cold and the nightmares she can't escape. Stay?

...

Promise . He almost tells her always , but not yet. Not today.

Soon.

She feels content and it's nice, soothing. He turns on his datapad, ignores her grumbling thought of just go to sleep. He just wants to check a few things because he hasn't even looked at his reports yet today or seen the HoloNews and he really should at least pretend he did. He finds himself unable to actually focus, however, partly because Ahsoka's drowsiness and peace are washing comfortably across the bond and he's tired, partly because she's clinging to him so tight and he can hear her breathing, soft and with a hint of a snore.

He gives up on the reports, drops the datapad on the floor next to his bunk and shifts, curling toward her more and rubbing her back gently. I love you, he thinks.

She rouses just a little, hums softly. I love you too. Now shut up and go to sleep.

He chuckles but obeys, kissing her temple. Sleeping with her helps the nightmares stay away, and it still feels painfully wonderful not to have a single nightmare. He doesn't even mind her cold toes pressing against his calf or the fact that she's already starting to take all the blankets.

She's his .

...

Tuck finally finds the Captain and the Commander in the barracks, of all places, sound asleep and curled together on Rex's bunk.

Rex is smiling in his sleep, both his arms holding Ahsoka tight against his chest. And Ahsoka herself has stolen most of the two blankets and pressed as close to Rex as humanly possible. Tuck wants to be angry at them-and he will be, he decides, because it was kriffing irresponsible of them to sneak out like that, but.

Later.

Later, when Ahsoka isn't sleeping the best she has since coming out of bacta; when Rex isn't smiling like he's got the entire galaxy in his arms.

Oh, he's definitely going to lecture them for this, he thinks. And also Dogma, for not telling him where they were. It's kriffing ridiculous.

Later.

...

Another week passes with little to make it memorable, although Rex and his squad spend a lot of time in the med bay with Ahsoka. Tuck is keeping a much closer eye on her, so there's no more going to the mess for breakfast (although Jesse suggests pulling a coup and taking her by force). Since Ahsoka seems content with having caf and toast brought to her every morning, though, Rex vetoes that plan. Kix is aware enough at the end of the week to threaten too, anyway. No sense in angering both their senior medics.

Rex decides the little room with the couches and chairs is actually the best idea anyone's ever had, because it means there's somewhere comfortable to sit with Ahsoka where Tuck won't scold them. On this day, particularly, it's nice because she has to meditate so she's sitting cross-legged on the couch, and he has reports to sign and send on to Anakin so he's sitting on a chair across from the couch. They're comfortably close but not distracting each other.

The armory is short grenades again . Rex is getting tired of having to requisition more of them.

Ahsoka hums a little, then says abruptly, "So what are we going to do about the marriage vows, anyway?"

Kriffing hells . She's asking him this now ? He pauses, carefully sets down his stylus, and leans back to look at her. She looks serene, comfortable, although he feels a current of anxiety easing through her thoughts. "I don't… What do you mean, what are we going to 'do about them'?"

"You know what I mean," she says firmly, although he notices her hands tense a little where they rest on her knees. "We both said them, and meant them, so… Where does that leave us?"

Rex sighs and rubs his face, not sure how to answer. Especially since his first thought is that it didn't count , but he can hardly say that to her, because what if she thinks it did? And he does want to say them to her, wants to promise, but that gives him an entirely different kind of anxiety. "I don't know, Soka, I guess… I guess I didn't want to say the vows to you like, like that." It takes an effort not to start fidgeting with his stylus; he has to cross his arms and look down. He knows he's gone red, which isn't ideal.

...

Ahsoka opens her eyes, unfolding from her cross-legged position and sprawling out across the couch. "But you do want to say them?" she asks, wincing a little as stretching pulls a bit uncomfortably on still-healing muscles. She turns, gesturing with one hand and unfolding the blanket from the back of the couch across her. (Sometimes, the Force can be really handy.)

Meditating is boring, and she's having trouble sinking into the Force today; she wants to move, to lose herself in the comfortingly familiar motions of her 'saber forms, but Tuck would murder her and Kix would help and it's really not worth it, she thinks. Maybe. She huffs, restless, tosses the blanket back off her again and stands. She has more energy today (probably in part to the caf Tuck still really doesn't want her to drink), and she's so tired of laying around doing nothing.

Surely it wouldn't hurt to just… run through one form, right? Without her 'sabers, even, and it's not like she's going to push herself too hard-she knows better than that.

...

Don't you kriffing dare, Rex says sharply, narrowing his eyes at her. No forms, Ahsoka . He conveniently ignores the question about wanting to say the vows - he doesn't want to answer that badly, he wants it all to be right .

Without my saber, even, Rex. I'm not going to do anything crazy .

No. This is why Kix doesn't like you, Ahsoka. He gets up, because she's standing and feeling stubborn and he's not letting her push him around on this one. "Listen to them, for once , cyare ."

"Rex…" she grumbles. "I'll be fine , I know how to be careful."

She's going to ignore him and do it anyway, he can tell, so he sighs and walks around the table, stands in front of her with his arms crossed. "Sit down , Soka."

"Seriously?" She rolls her eyes and doesn't listen. "Or what?"

"For kriff's sake," he growls, and without further comment strides into her space and bundles her into his arms, over his shoulder. He's gotten a lot stronger (although this might be pushing it) and she's not a match for him at her best, anyway.

" Rex ! Kriff you, put me down! " She smacks his shoulder, and he can feel she's scowling.

"No," he hums, "Not until you promise to stay put ."

"Not likely!"

Well, he's not letting her try to run forms, so he tightens his arms around her and starts out of the room.

"Where are you going, hey, quit!" she snaps, smacking him again, and he snorts.

"Calm down, I'm just going to take you back to your bunk and tell Tuck what you were planning."

"Traitor," she grumbles. "Kriffing stop it, Rex."

...

Rex just keeps walking, and Ahsoka swears. "Fine, fine, just-put me down, Rex, Tuck's going to murder you too-"

"Am I?" Tuck's voice floats into the small room from further back in the main room of the medbay. "Why am I murdering my two most difficult patients this time?"

Don't you dare tell him, Rex, and she can sense he's not going to listen because he's far too amused, and she really isn't in the mood for another lecture and having to spend another week under intense scrutiny. Or-or I'll tell Fives we're technically married!

...

Rex's stomach tightens and he stops dead, shifts her in his arms so he can meet her eyes. "You wouldn't," he says. If Fives knew… Dear gods, he'd never have a moment of peace ever again.

Never mind the anxious, elated twinge the phrase we're married gives him - they really do need to discuss that, he supposes.

"I will," she threatens, but she wouldn't, he knows.

But still, he's not risking it. "Fine, I won't tell Tuck. But no running forms ."

"Fine."

He sets her down by the couch again (and regrets picking her up to begin with because his shoulder burns and he has to go sit down, quickly), shaking his head. "Fives cannot know about this, you know that," he says. They would never once, not in a hundred years, hear the end of it.

...

Ahsoka huffs, dropping back down onto the couch. "I know," she says with a sigh, because he's right.

That doesn't mean she won't tell Fives anyway, though, if she needs to. Rex must sense that, because he gives her a pointed look and projects a wave of warning at her. He clearly doesn't want to continue this conversation though, because he reaches for his datapad again, and a wave of frustration hits her because this is important, they have to figure this out. So she crooks her fingers, pulls the 'pad out of his hands and floats it to her. "Hey, give that back," he says sharply.

She shakes her head. "We have to actually talk about this, Rex." She has to admit to herself that there's a certain thrill in her stomach when she thinks about the idea of the vows being binding.

Yes, she'd said them when she'd thought she was about to die, but the more she thinks about the words the more she realizes this is something she wants, more than anything else. Bal mhi me'dinui an. We share all. And there's no one else in the galaxy she'd rather share everything with-her heart, her soul, her mind…

Her life.

...

Rex sighs and picks up his stylus, gives up on controlling the fidgeting and nerves. "I know," he says wearily. "I don't want to say everything wrong, though, Ahsoka."

She frowns, fiddling with his datapad, and he twists the stylus between his fingers. "Don't worry about that, Rex. Just talk to me."

He nods. "Well, it's just… Ahsoka, I guess technically , we're… you know, married now." Kriff, why can't he just say that without going red and stuttering like Brii does when someone compliments him? "But I'd rather not…" Just kriffing say it, deal with what happens after . "I'd rather we say it didn't, ah, didn't count."

He twists his fingers so hard around the stylus he can feel it bend, and quickly sets it down, folding his hands and going still.

"Oh," Ahsoka says, and he swallows, but he can't speak up because he wants to say this right , say it so she understands.

He had thought the vows were something he'd never get to say to her; had always told himself to keep quiet, to wait, because it had never felt right before, to promise forever and everything when he had neither. But even though he still hasn't heard anything from Anakin, even though there has been nothing fixed and he still only has half a life to promise her, he thinks… he thinks wasting time being afraid of losing her has only made it hurt worse.

...

Ahsoka takes a careful breath, in and out, tries to center herself, because-because Rex had said already that he meant the vows, and… she knows that just because she wants this, wants it more than than air, that doesn't mean he shares that feeling.

But-but she doesn't think that's true, even though her initial gut reaction is to withdraw, to pull up shields around her heart and her mind because it hurts, because this is the stinging pain of rejection and it's worse than she'd ever thought it would be. Because she remembers Rex with unabated longing mixed with heart-wrenching anguish in his eyes as he holds her close, humming Of course I kriffing want it, Soka, and you.

So-so she takes a deep breath, swallows, closes her eyes. Steels herself. Doesn't let herself withdraw, pull back, hide, even though it hurts, even though it's hard. Her voice is-mostly steady, she thinks, when she does speak, and she's proud of herself for that. "Can you-elaborate what you mean by that?"

...

Rex takes a deep, carefully regulated breath and stifles the hollow nervousness in his stomach. "Yeah," he says, lowly, digging for the right wordsbecause he knows he can find them but they don't come as easily to him as they do to the Jedi or Kix or even Fives. "I've been trying to say, Ahsoka, I didn't want to make the vows the way I did. And I'm grateful you said them back, but I… I hoped if - when - I said them, I would know I could keep them."

His heart is pounding and he's shaking just a little, and he can't just stay sitting here in his chair but he's afraid to move. But he's tired of waiting, tired of wanting but not allowing himself to ask because he's afraid .

He didn't get his jaig eyes for being cautious, for worrying about what would happen if everything went wrong, for hesitating.

Ahsoka's still staring at him and he can feel she's trying to understand, feels hope and love and a little fear. So he swallows and pushes himself to his feet, squashes his nerves and doubts with a determined effort. When he closes the distance between them in a few long strides, it's with a deep, powerful sense of purpose , of inevitability, of knowing.

He wants this, wants her, and whatever happens, he won't let anyone or anything stand between them again, much less his own fear.

He could lose himself in her blue eyes, and he loves that, loves her. Reaching out, he takes her hand, tugs her to her feet.

She seems a little frozen and he doesn't let himself worry about that. Purpose, certainty, love .

"Would you let me say them again?" he asks, softly, gruffly. "And do it right this time?"

...

Ahsoka is frozen to the spot, hardly able to breathe. "I-now?" she manages to get out around the sudden explosion of nerves in her stomach.

Rex shakes his head, and she can feel the same anxiety in him, but also purpose and certainty-he's sure about this, she can feel it. "When the time is right," he says, soft and warm, and she can't breathe.

She can't seem to look away from his eyes, burning with golden fire; can't seem to get enough of a breath to speak, so she settles for wrapping her free hand around the back of his head and dragging him down to kiss her, fierce and possessive and with all the love in her heart.

Is that a yes? Rex asks, not breaking away, and she smiles into the kiss.

Obviously.

And then someone laughs from the doorway, and Ahsoka pulls back and spins around-it's Kix, pale and wan and wrapped in a heavy blanket, but with a delighted grin on his face. "I don't regret getting out of bed anymore," he says cheerfully, "Fives is going to love this."

If Kix wasn't injured, Ahsoka thinks she just might punch him.

...

Rex should be mad at Kix for interrupting, but there's so much elated, triumphant love in his chest he just grins at his vod, tightening his hand around Ahsoka's. "How long have you been there?" he asks, feigns anger. (Leaves his hand in Ahsoka's.)

"Long enough," Kix says, smiling, and Rex can't help but grin back. Can you believe it, he wants to say, she's mine . "I'm glad you finally got this sorted, vod ."

"Me too," Rex says, and Ahsoka laughs, suddenly, bright and clear.

"Aren't you supposed to be in bed, Kix?" she asks, makes a stern face.

"I'm a senior medic," Kix says, shrugs. "I know what I'm doing."

"Well, you should sit down," Rex says, pulls Ahsoka with him back to his chair. She settles on his lap, fitting her arms around his shoulders.

I love you so much, Rex, she thinks, and he hums a little and kisses her right headtail.

I love you too. He does, more than he really knows how to say, so he just projects the intense happiness in his chest, the love that has been his anchor since Umbara, since the mines and the bond and Kamino.

...

Ahsoka smiles, wrapped in love and warmth and joy, and she leans her head against Rex's shoulder, looks over at Kix. "You should really sit down," she tells him casually, humming a little.

Kix makes a face at her, but he shuffles over to the couch, curls up against one arm. "Just like you really should be running 'saber forms, Commander?"

Kriff. "But I didn't," she points out, "and you are walking around. So it's not the same thing." Mostly. "Please don't tell Tuck?"

He laughs. "Don't worry, I won't-but if I find out you actually are running your forms, I'm going to kriffing murder you. Can't you wait one more week?"

"But I'm bored," she complains, feels Rex's amusement. "Tuck doesn't let me do anything."

That wouldn't be because you snuck out of the medbay, would it? Rex sends, and she sticks her tongue out at him.

Shut up, you did it too.

...

I was allowed out of the med bay, you weren't .

You went with me!

So maybe he had. Rex just chuckles and shrugs - he doesn't find he cares so much. "How are you feeling, Kix?" he asks. His medic hasn't been allowed to do much - he's more restricted than Ahsoka and Rex gets the sense it had been a nearer brush with death for him than Ahsoka.

But here he is, alive and healing, and he's probably just high on excitement and adrenaline and happiness, but Rex feels like all the loss and the pain might actually be over .

"I'm okay," Kix says, tugging his blanket tighter around his shoulders. "Everything still hurts." He says that with an ironic twist of a smile, like it's an understatement. "And the Force isn't exactly being communicative - maybe because I ignored its advice and almost died, I don't know."

"Probably that," Ahsoka says.

Rex tightens his arms around her middle, feels her huff a small sigh. I'm fine, Rex.

I know. It just feels reassuring to be able to feel her, to reach out and feel the brush of her thoughts instead of emptiness.

...

"General Kenobi has been teaching me meditation techniques," Kix says after a moment. "He says I'm better at it than you are, Commander."

She sticks her tongue out at him, too, even though she knows that's immature. "Kriff off, Kix," and then she's laughing because she can't help it, she feels so light and warm right now. "My Master is Anakin, what do you expect?"

"Touche," Kix says, smiles. "Hey, if I make a bet with Fives about when you guys will say the vows for real, will you tell me when so I can win?"

"No," Rex says, at the same time as Ahsoka says, "Yeah, sure."

Soka, he'll be insufferable!

She rolls her eyes up at him. He's already insufferable, and it'll be funny to see him lose.

...

Kix has almost no energy, and it's hard. He wants to be helping Tuck, making sure his vod is alright, helping keep the Commander in line and make sure all their vod'e have their medicine and aren't ignoring Tuck's orders. As it is, he's confined to his bunk, and this room at most, and it doesn't take a lot of coercion from Tuck to keep him in bed or a chair - he gets so tired . His head hurts most of the time.

So he's really glad to have this, to know Rex and Ahsoka are healing, to know the vows Rex made are going to be kept. They deserve this, and it helps him feel like he's going to get better too. Even if he also feels a little awkward sitting here while they flirt.

He has good odds on winning a bet against Fives now, and it's been years since he's managed that.

"Hang on," Rex says suddenly, leaning forward, making the Commander grumble at him. "What do you mean if you make a bet with Fives about that? He doesn't kriffing know ," and Kix blinks, surprised. He'd told Brii about the vows, and he'd heard from Fives directly afterward ("is what the kid told me true, Kix?") . He'd expected Fives to pester Rex with the knowledge immediately, but then, Fives hasn't been himself lately and maybe even he knows Rex wouldn't have appreciated that.

"I… may have told Brii, and Brii's too new to the battalion to know- he told Fives."

"Kriff me," Rex groans, and Kix smiles, huffs a laugh.

"Anyway, the minute he knows you two have worked it out I'm sure he'll start teasing, so I'd hold off till you're good and ready," Kix says, trying to get more comfortable. He wants to sleep. It's something of a comfort actually being able to see his patients, both of whom are usually a pain to keep track of. He smiles to himself and closes his eyes. They're happy, finally, and that makes him more content.

He thinks he can even feel their joy like a current in the air and it's strange, but he decides he likes being able to feel that, and he holds onto the feeling, lets it warm the chill that he can't quite shake.

He thinks they'll all be alright.

Fin