Affinity Between Brothers

Thor's point of view.

Thor turned yet again. Prince- now king- he may be, but he was also a warrior; he was used to sleeping in different beds, cots, and even furs on the ground. It wasn't the bed to blame for his restlessness. He heaved out a sigh and sat up, eye tracking the shadowed edges of the furniture in the room. He was immensely restless, more than he believed he ought to be, and there was a nagging weight in his chest.

Quite suddenly, Thor realized what he wanted. What he needed. He pushed the bedding aside and stood, reaching and feeling for his eye patch. He left the room and followed the hallway down a ways before coming to stop in front of a door. He hesitated, wondering whether his presence would be welcome or not. Deciding to chance it, he pressed the button to slide the door open.

He entered and pressed the button to shut the door, letting darkness and silence reign. Until his brother spoke.

"Thor. Mind explaining why you're invading my room?"

Thor silently sighed, his whole body relaxing just a little. "Couldn't sleep."

"And what does that have to do with me?"

Thor noticed that Loki didn't even sound like he had just woken up. He thought perhaps Loki was having trouble sleeping just the same as he. And he figured that Loki also needed a familiar presence. Just to reassure himself that he still had someone. Thor swallowed. It's been near a decade since Loki grew cold towards Thor and their parents, unwilling to show or even hear of any sort of affection, but...

Once his eyesight could make out the shapes in the room, Thor crossed over to the bed.

Loki barely shifted, his head tilting to follow Thor's progress. "What?" he asked, his tone full of suspicion and wariness. It still hurt Thor that he lost the brother he once knew so well.

"Move." He didn't even wait for Loki to understand his command before he pulled the covers back and pushed his way onto the bed.

"Thor, you brute! What in Hel do you think you are dong?!" Loki all but hissed at him, rolling and shifting so he didn't get trampled.

"What does it look like?" Thor settled, pulling the covers up and positioning a pillow below his head. As an after thought, he pulled his eye patch off and placed it on the side table. He intended to stay.

There was a silence before Loki let out a long suffering sigh. "Thor, we are not children. We have not been children for more than a millennia."

"Oh, so you do remember." Thor wasn't even sure if he was being sarcastic or relieved that Loki at least alluded to their childhood. "Remember when we would sneak off to each other's rooms and stay up late, sometimes til the sun rose?"

Loki snorted. "Our poor nursemaid would always fret. Afraid Mother and Father would flog her for negligence."

Thor felt himself smile, and the heaviness in his chest lifted some. This is what he needed. Loki is what he needs. His brother wasn't the same, yes, but slowly Thor could see beyond whatever walls and masks Loki had built up and was heartened that his brother was still in there. Thor had been afraid that Loki was lost to him, but recently things have been going well between them, considering. And it was good to hear him call their mother and father such again.

"Yes... And she often found us together in one of our rooms, sleeping."

Loki didn't respond for a moment. "Or, more often than not, cuddling." He said the word like it was offensive.

Thor chuckled. "That wasn't just me."

"It really was. You were always a cuddler, and it was near impossible to pry myself from your smothering grasp."

"Eh, you loved it."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes you did, don't deny it."

"Didn't. You oaf." Thor chuckled again and they were silent. He found himself relaxing enough to begin to doze off when Loki spoke again. "So, mind telling me why you barged in and harassed me?"

Thor sighed. "Couldn't sleep."

"So you said."

"Our home is gone."

Silence. "Yes... Yes it is," Loki said slowly.

"Because of me."

Loki sighed and shifted. Thor looked over and met Loki's eyes. "Us, if you'll share the blame. You may have thought of it, but it was I who placed Sutur's crown on the Eternal Flame to resurrect him. Besides, if you hadn't of thought of it I would have."

Thor squinted at Loki. "Yes, you would have... You were always clever- far more clever than I."

"Nice of you to realize," he mumbled in response.

He hummed. "I'm sorry, Loki."

"What are you apologizing for?"

"For the times I failed to acknowledge you. And for not realizing that I had."

Loki sighed. "It wasn't that terrible."

"But you had said, or at least alluded-"

"I wasn't quite myself," Loki interrupted him, "Before. You had realized as much."

"What happened?" Thor whispered. It was a question he'd ever asked before. He was ashamed to admit that he hadn't even thought to ask his brother, even though he had been thought dead and had been so drastically changed.

At first Loki didn't respond, but then quietly said, "It's a long story, Thor, and one I don't want to get into. Now leave me be and either go back to your own room or go to sleep." He rolled over to face away from Thor.

Thor wanted to push the subject, but he knew how stubborn and tight lipped his brother could be, so he didn't for fear of pushing Loki away again. "You would let me stay?"

"You are king, brother. You do what you want."

Thor grinned, hearing the teasing tone through the sarcasm.

"True. Very well, I'll stay." After a moment's silence he said, "We are all we have now..."

Loki sighed. "Not quite true. There are still Asgardians alive."

"You know what I mean."

Another silence. "Do you truly blame me for Father's death?"

Thor paused at Loki's voice, usually steady and smooth but now wavering just enough for Thor to pick up on. He sighed.

"Let me ask you something. Did you intend his death? He drew his power from Asgard. Did you close him off?"

"No, I didn't," Loki responded immediately. "That was never my intention."

Thor knew he was being honest. "Then no, brother, I don't blame you." He thought perhaps he could feel Loki relax. "But honestly- Midgard, Loki?"

He heard a muffled snort. "Fitting, don't you think?"

Thor groaned lightly. "I'll never admit to that."

Loki chuckled. "Shut up and go to sleep now, brother."

"Good night, Loki."

"Good night, Thor."

Loki's point of view.

Loki sighed, unable to sleep. Recent events have been far too stressful and traumatic to not be restless and excess adrenaline still lingered. He froze in his shifting as he heard a noise outside his door before it slid open suddenly. Whoever it was didn't say anything, but after a moment Loki relaxed, recognizing the presence.

"Thor," he said, rolling his eyes even though his brother couldn't see it. "Mind explaining why you're invading my room?"

"Couldn't sleep."

At least Loki wasn't the only one who was having problems, but why did he come here? "And what does that have to do with me?"

Thor didn't respond, and Loki wondered what his problem was. Thor had always been eager to fight, whether it was to spar or battle. Thought Loki had to admit that Thor had settled down in recent years, growing wiser and less inclined to act rashly. Then again, eager or not, they did just destroy Asgard and their bloodthirsty, homicidal sister whom Odin only told them about because he knew he was going to die, thus releasing her from her imprisonment. Far too much has happened and been revealed in such a short amount of time.

Finally, without word, Thor crossed over to the bed.

Loki turned his head to follow Thor's progress, mostly seeing a shadowed mass moving towards him. "What?" he asked, suspicious and wary all at once. He wasn't used to Thor being so silent and introspective. It made it harder to read what he was thinking or planning.

A sudden "Move," was all the warning he had before Thor pulled the covers back and pushed his way onto the bed, nearly sitting right on Loki in the process.

"Thor, you brute! What in Hel do you think you are dong?!" Loki nearly spat, quickly rolling out of the way. Damned oaf...

"What does it look like?" Thor asked as he finally settled, shifting slightly as he made himself comfortable in Loki's bed.

Loki silently cursed Thor again before he let out a heavy sigh at having to deal with his brother. "Thor, we are not children. We have not been children for more than a millennia."

"Oh, so you do remember." Loki wasn't sure if Thor was mocking him or being genuine. "Remember when we would sneak off to each other's rooms and stay up late, sometimes til the sun rose?"

Loki snorted. Yes, he did remember. Despite himself, nostalgia washed over him. "Our poor nursemaid would always fret. Afraid Mother and Father would flog her for negligence."

Loki felt himself slip into a state of peace, the restlessness finally seeping away by his brother's presence. Remembering their childhood brought back a feeling of kinship he hasn't let himself feel in a long time. He's realized lately that he's growing weary of fighting and running and hiding from Thor. It was just the two of them now. He swallowed thickly, thinking of his mother and his regrets about their last conversation. He'd never forgive himself for that. And he supposed he could forgive his father, rather than continue carrying a grudge against the dead.

"Yes..." Thor said nostalgically, "And she often found us together in one of our rooms, sleeping."

It took Loki a moment to pull himself from his thoughts and he again rolled his eyes. "Or, more often than not, cuddling," he said in distaste, but his lips twitched in amusement.

Thor chuckled. "That wasn't just me."

"It really was. You were always a cuddler, and it was near impossible to pry myself from your smothering grasp." And that was the truth. Thor was all limbs about it.

"Eh, you loved it."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes you did, don't deny it."

"Didn't. You oaf." Thor chuckled again and they were silent. Just when it seemed Thor was about to fall asleep, Loki asked, "So, mind telling me why you barged in and harassed me?"

Thor sighed. "Couldn't sleep."

"So you said."

"Our home is gone."

Silence. "Yes... Yes it is," Loki said slowly. So it appears that the same reason for Loki's inability to sleep was bothering Thor as well. Not surprising.

"Because of me."

Loki sighed and shifted so he could meet Thor's gaze, almost able to forget in the darkness the recent loss of Thor's eye. "Us, if you'll share the blame. You may have thought of it, but it was I who placed Sutur's crown on the Eternal Flame to resurrect him. Besides, if you hadn't of thought of it I would have." The blame couldn't lie on Thor alone, Loki knew. But perhaps Thor didn't realize that, or maybe he needed some reassurance.

Thor squinted at Loki. "Yes, you would have... You were always clever. Far more clever than I."

Loki wanted to scowl at Thor and was unable to hold back some bitterness from his reply. "Nice of you to realize."

Thor hummed. "I'm sorry, Loki."

That surprised him. "What are you apologizing for?"

"For the times I failed to acknowledge you. And for not realizing that I had."

Loki sighed, not wanting to discuss this. "It wasn't that terrible."

"But you had said, or at least alluded-"

"I wasn't quite myself," Loki interrupted him, "Before. You had realized as much." Even though Thor brushed it off without question, and Loki hated how much that still stung.

"What happened?" Thor whispered.

Now Thor asked? Now of all times, and so long after? The stab of irritation quickly dwindled and Loki suddenly wanted nothing more than to go to sleep and ignore reality, even if for a moment. "It's a long story, Thor, and one I don't want to get into. Now leave me be and either go back to your own room or go to sleep." He rolled over to face away from Thor, hoping his brother would leave it alone.

Loki thought he would argue, but then he merely asked, "You would let me stay?"

He had to smile at the small bit of hopefulness in Thor's voice. "You are king, brother," Loki had to remind him. "You do what you want."

Loki could practically feel Thor's grin.

"True. Very well, I'll stay." After a moment's silence he said, "We are all we have now..."

Loki sighed. "Not quite true. There are still Asgardians alive."

"You know what I mean."

Another silence, one Loki really didn't want to break. But he had to know. For better or worse, he had to know and so he timidly asked, "Do you truly blame me for Father's death?"

Loki laid in a tense silence while he awaited Thor's response. He heard a sigh before Thor said, "Let me ask you something. Did you intend his death? He drew his power from Asgard. Did you close him off?"

"No, I didn't," Loki responded immediately and honestly. "That was never my intention." He needed his brother to know that, to believe that.

"Then no, brother, I don't blame you." Loki relaxed, letting out a quiet breath. "But honestly- Midgard, Loki?"

He had to muffle snort in his pillow. He had so hoped that Thor would see the irony in that. "Fitting, don't you think?"

Thor groaned lightly. "I'll never admit to that."

Loki chuckled, his heart immensely lighter than before Thor unceremoniously joined him- exactly what he needed, he realized. "Shut up and go to sleep now, brother."

"Good night, Loki."

"Good night, Thor."