Upstate New York is beautiful. The luscious green tress of the surrounding woods gives an air of serenity around the massive building standing just on the outskirts. The windows of the hallway span from the ceiling to the floor, and it almost looks like a photo from a postcard. Branches with various types of leaves sway wildly in the air, the wind a rather forceful tone today. It rustles the leaves so loudly, it's heard through the windows into the hallway.
It should be a beautiful and peaceful setting, with the pale blue skies hovering over the tree tops. The scenery should be met with tranquil piece of mind, with how picturesque it is. However, it's met with the opposite. A light whining noise breaks the silence of the hallway as Bucky Barnes clenches his fists. He glances down at his left hand, vaguely wondering if he should have slipped his gloves on to hide the shiny metal. He lifts his eyes back to the tree outside, the calm setting a contrast to what he is feeling inside. He clenches his fists, not out of anger, but from anxiety. He's anxious.
There's been a chaotic whirling in his chest and a sharp clenching in his gut the second he was brought here. He can't help the anxiousness rising up in his body, snaking it's way up his stomach, around his heart and burning the back of hist throat. He shouldn't be standing in the hallway of the giant compound that holds training sessions, meetings of SHIELD agents and houses some members of the Avengers. These are people he has fought and tried to kill as his indoctrinate brain followed orders. It's taking everything Bucky has in him not to turn around and walk out, slipping back into the shadows of the outside world.
At least there he felt safe, even if it was a false sense of it. At least hiding in the shadows allowed him to keep a low profile, out of sight, out of mind to say. He had been doing just fine keeping up pretenses and getting by in his little rundown apartment, but now. Now he is standing there, staring out at the trees and waiting. Waiting for Steve to come back out of the room he walked into, telling Bucky to stay here in this spot for a few minutes. Those few minutes have passed, and Steve is still in the room.
Bucky is seriously considering going back on his decision, and his feet shift towards the exit of their own accord. The thing is, as easy as it would be to just leave, he doesn't want to run anymore. He's tired of it. Tired of hiding and trying to figure everything out on his own. It's been hard, those two years of doing just that. Hiding, running, trying to gather broken fragments of memories that have been scrambled in his brain so much, so severely, that it's taken him that long to even begin to put them together. So, he made the decision to come here, after Steve suggested that maybe a little help wouldn't be so bad.
He's willing to accept help, from anyone who can or wants to try to deprogram Hydra's brainwashing. He is willing to do whatever it takes to heal his mind, find a cure for it. However, he isn't too sure about the people in the compound and what their thoughts and opinions might be. That is where his anxiety comes in. He inhales deeply, trying to calm the nerves. Then exhales, wishing the anxiety could go with it. Bucky has tried convincing himself over and over again that he isn't a cold blooded assassin, but that doesn't mean everyone else will be convinced.
The clicking of a handle pulls Bucky out of his reverie, drawing his gaze from the scenery to the door. Steve steps out with a smile on his face, so that has to mean some good news, right? Behind him, a blonde woman emerges from the room and Bucky recognizes her, though he can't place her name. He quickly reads her expression, neutral and calm, but the tightness around her dark brown eyes gives away her apprehension. He should probably get used to it around here if he stays.
"All set." Steve informs him, clasping his hand on Bucky's shoulder. He's sure it is meant to be encouraging. "Everything is cleared for you to start."
"I'll go inform Rios." The woman says, giving them a quick nod. Bucky waits until the soft thumping of her shoes fades down the hallway.
"Do you really think this will work?" Bucky questions, his stomach twisting unpleasantly. "This whole deprogramming process?"
Steve squeezes his shoulder. "I really do. I have faith in you, Buck."
"That makes one of us." He mumbles. He sees Steve frown and about to protest, but he asks another question. "How soon does it start?"
"You can start whenever you want. You'll have a room here and an area to yourself if it gets too much. I can take you there now or-"
"No." Bucky interrupts, his heart fluttering with the same nervousness as his stomach. He doesn't want to be left alone in a room just yet. "I think it's best to start now."
"It's going to be fine. You are going to be fine, Bucky." Steve reassures him. "I have complete trust in the person picked for the process."
Bucky nods, finally uncurling his fists. He swallows down the nearly crippling level of anxiety now. "I'm ready."
Bucky is lead to a different hallway, that leads to a different set of elevators that leads to a different floor. This process goes on five more times, before they reach their destination. With every floor the landed on, with every hallway they walked down, Bucky took note of possible escape routes, just in case they need to be used at some point in time. When they reach the double white doors of a new section of the facility, the nerves Bucky has attempted to tamper down come back in full. The doors open, and out steps the blonde woman from earlier.
"We're all set," She tells them, and this time there a small smile on her face. "Someone seemed a little excited."
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Steve chuckles.
The blonde addresses Bucky directly. "Sergeant Barnes, we'll take you down to area where the majority of the deprogramming will take place. Don't be nervous, this should be a safe place for you, and it will probably be stressed that it is."
"Bucky." He corrects her, insisting not to be addressed by any other name.
She nods. "Ready?"
"Lead the way."
He's suddenly left alone in the giant, open room, standing in front of a gray, L shaped desk. He scans the room again, eyes following the few guards and agents walking along the second level. They don't pay him too much regard and he's grateful for that, but he can't help the inkling that when the people stop to talk to each other, that they're talking about him. Bucky moves his gaze along, lingering on the white, metal door on the far side of the room. Eventually, the real deprogramming begins in there, and he hopes it looks nothing like that damn Red Room.
Bucky turns his back on the door, opting to sit on top of the desk, instead of the rolling chair. The surface itself is tidy, with minimal notebooks and pens, and a computer laptop. There are two empty mugs sitting next to the laptop, and a white chord plugged into the wall.
At that moment, the doors to the first level open. In walks, or rather what looks like a strut, a woman, her thick heeled boots clacking against the tile. She's wearing black jeans, and a dark blue button up shirt, sleeves rolled up to her elbows, and the majority of the buttons undone, revealing a white shirt beneath it. Her brown hair is pulled into a side braid that she flicks over her shoulder as the man behind her says something.
It's the almost palpable air of annoyance that she flicked her hair with that intrigues Bucky for some reason. There seems to be a presence about the woman, given the way the two men that followed her in the room are acting. The one who just spoke to her seems just as annoyed, but she doesn't pay him attention. Instead, she walks with sure, confident steps to another desk, pulls open a drawer and takes out a file. She smirks at the man and his expression drops. The second man, this one wearing a thick vest and armed with two visible guns, a security guard, says something. His words make the woman bark out a laugh, and the vivacious sound echoes across the room.
The guard pats the woman on the shoulder, then leaves their side. He walks across the room, eyes catching Bucky's for a brief moment, and the ghost of his smile disappears. Clearly his reputation has gotten around to every corner of this giant building. Bucky grinds his teeth together, his jaw clenching, and inhales through his nose, then out forcefully through his mouth. He'll just sit and wait for the deprogramming person and ignore all the weary looks he's getting. He doesn't need to wait long however, because it seems like the woman who laughed is that person.
She has to weave her way through other tables before she reaches him. She swipes little notebooks from different tables, and steals a pen off another one. The remaining man behind her looks like he's finished with his day already and Bucky wonders if it's due to the girl. He can instantly read the tension between them, and it doesn't read well. Finally, they both reach the area where Bucky is sitting.
"Your new assignment." The man speaks curtly.
He's got short blonde hair, and dull green eyes gleaming with disdain. Bucky doesn't know him, but he already doesn't like him. It doesn't take much for Bucky not to like someone. In fact, he mainly stays clear of people in general, but this one, this one he doesn't care to get to know.
"I'd appreciate if you didn't speak to him as if he was a piece of paper, Sharp." The woman snips, a passive aggressive smile on her lips. "Thank you for your unnecessary escort, which wasn't asked for, but I'm fully capable of handling it from here."
She waves the file in her hand in a shooing motion. Twice. The guy name Sharp narrows his eyes, then nods stiffly, turning away. Apparently, this woman has a high level of authority.
"Ass-hat." She mumbles under her breath.
Bucky can't help but smirk at the comment. She tosses the folder in her hand to the side, landing with a dull smack on the desk. The move makes him frown in confusion.
"I'm Ana, and I'll be heading the Deprogramming sessions." She greets, smiling genuinely and holding out her hand. Bucky can't find a reason not to shake it, so he does. She's got an unexpected firm grip.
"Please pay him no mind. Jared's a dick." Ana says, releasing his hand. She picks up the two mugs sitting on the table. "Coffee?"
As evaluations goes, this one is starting off rather strange. He doesn't really know what to do, so he just nods. Ana smiles, bright and open. He watches her walk over to the coffee station, preparing two cups. While she's distracted, Bucky's curiosity takes over, reaching for the file.
His heart rate picks up as he scans the papers. Notes and pictures of him clipped together. It's an entire summary of his history; before, during and post Hydra. There's some handwritten notes as well, something familiar about the script. He swallows the bitterness burning in the back of his throat, anxiety curling in his stomach once more. He begins to think that this deprogramming process might be a bad idea. A horrible idea. That something horrible will happen and he'll be lost forever; mind completely unsalvageable. He's not sure why Steve pressed so hard for this.
"Hey."
A voice pulls Bucky out of his thoughts. He looks up to see Ana staring back at him, her expression unreadable. She hands him one of the mugs, then keeps her hand open, exchanging it for the file. Bucky hands it to her. She holds it up.
"This isn't your concern." She tells him gently, "whatever is in this file does not define you, got that? If not, that's what I'm here for. We'll work on that, and many other things. As for right now, this isn't important."
Then she opens a drawer, drops the file in and closes it. She doesn't ask for a confirmation, but Bucky finds himself nodding anyway.
"What is important," Ana continues, "is this." She takes a long sip of her coffee.
It takes a moment, but then it clicks in Bucky's brain. "Coffee is important?"
"Extremely. A very vital part of the day." She answers, nodding her head at his own cup. "Go ahead, I didn't poison it or anything."
He smirks against the rim of his cup when he lifts it to his mouth. She's going to be an interesting one, but her presence already seems to have a calming effect on him. The anxiety has simmered, and his heartbeat is back to normal. He notices a hint of mirth dancing in her browns eyes; little gold flecks scattered in them.
"Alright." She starts, putting her cup down. "There's only one rule to go by."
"Go on."
"We don't start anything before coffee. That's it. We'll probably have some long days here and to get through that..." She beams at him, holding up her mug. "It keeps me sane, which keeps you and anyone here from my wrath."
Bucky hasn't really smiled a whole lot lately, but he suddenly as a feeling he's going to start. He can feel a bemused one spreading across his lips already. When Steve first brought the idea of deprogramming up, Bucky didn't think he'd be paired up with someone like Ana. Expecting a stern focused agent who probably wouldn't give two shits about him and his process. An agent who was buff, built and could and probably take him on in a fight without hesitation.
Instead, he gets this straight forward, spit fire of a woman, and he's only just met her. She's wearing three-inch heels, but she is probably a good foot and a couple of inches shorter than himself. The define curves she has show off a delicate shape, but a closer looks says just the opposite. There's subtle hints of muscles in her arms, triceps and biceps standing out just enough under her tight sleeves. Her thighs are thick but lean, her strength obviously lying in her legs. She could probably take him in a fight just as much, even more so, but he doesn't want to find out if that's true. He'd really rather not fight anyone if he doesn't have to.
"So, James Buchanan Barnes. AKA Bucky. AKA Sargent Banes, AKA The Winter Solider. Age 30, give or that about seventy years. That's incredible. Healthy as a horse, you have to tell me your secret."
Bucky huffs a single chuckle. She's not even reading from the file, just reciting off memory. Or from what Steve has told her. He doesn't have anything on her besides her name, so he grants her another. "Annie."
Her eyes narrow, a muscle twitching at her jaw. "That's not my name."
"It is now."
Ana purses her lips, decides against whatever comeback she has, and unceremoniously sits down in the chair. It's amazing she didn't spill a drop of her coffee. She rocks back in her seat, gracefully lifting one leg and crossing it over her other. She makes give him a pointed look, then her eye shift down.
When Bucky follows her gaze, the mug of coffee is sitting idly by his thigh. He picks it up because he didn't get any sleep the night before. Way too nervous about how the day would go. He takes a cautious sip, and it has to be one of the best cups he has had. Which doesn't seem right as it came from a machine that hold little pods.
"I ground my own coffee that I bring in." Ana explains. He must have shown his curiosity. That, or she can read minds. "I put in a dash of cinnamon, then in the filter, and pour hot water over it. There's a little pour over station hiding behind the Keurig."
"Seems like a lot of effort." Bucky states against the rim of his mug.
"Yeah...but is that not a damn good cup of coffee?" Ana smiles knowingly at him.
He wasn't serious about the mind reading thing, but now its a probability. "It is actually."
She looks like she takes pride in that. Such a small little thing, but she takes pride in it. Bucky racks his mind, wondering is he has taken pride in anything the last two years. He can't think of anything, other than being able to hide for two years without suspicion. Though, if he really thinks about it, was that pride, or a necessity. He's going to pick the latter.
"Now that the coffee rule is out of the way," Ana speaks, placing her now empty mug on desk. "I'm going to give you a choice here, and it's completely up to you. We can either start this process now, or you can decide that the coffee talk was enough for you today and I can show you where you'll be staying?"
Bucky opens his mouth to answer, but closes it after a second. He doesn't know what he wants, or what he should do. Half of him wants to get the day over with, wants to just go to this new room, with hopefully a bed, and crash. The other half of him just wants to see where the rest of this first meeting goes. Ana is intriguing to him already, and he has yet to read any fear or apprehension in her eyes. He's gotten very good at reading people.
Ana seems open. She seems to be nonjudging, and for some reason, Steve has inexplicable trust in her. He briefly recalls what the blonde agent said early, that the person in charge seemed to be excited. As if Ana is intrigued with him as well, as if she truly wants to help him.
This could all be a lie. It could all be a ruse to trick him in some way. Maybe to trigger him again. Bucky just met this girl, the one who's staring at him patiently, rubbing her thumb over her collarbones. He tracks the movement, watching as she gently taps her thumb against the bone twice. There's unique looking necklace resting against her chest, and her fingers move down to trace over it. Her express may be calm, but her fingers are nervous.
Bucky is nervous too. If he is nervous, and Ana is too about something, does their mutual nervousness form a connection? Does it mean that Ana wants these sessions, this deprogramming to go well, not for herself, but for him? She seems genuine enough, but Bucky just has a hard time trusting people. Does he just jump in head first and trust her, or does he trust in his friend? Does he put his own trust in Steve who has enough trust in Ana? Or does he go with his gut.
Currently, his gut is filled with warmth from the comforting taste of the coffee. True to her word, Ana didn't poison or drug it. Unless she meant the cinnamon because now Bucky might be addicted to the taste of her coffee. He takes another sip, slow and long, considering. His gut, despite his general anxiousness, feels relaxed. No warning signs popping up just yet. It is the first day though. So, he will see.
"I know it's hard to trust me right now." Ana's voice pulls him from his reverie. "I'm expecting you to do so either. That's something you build up to. I just hope, on your own time, one day you can. I just want to help you in any way I can."
Bucky finally swallows the large sip. This is the third time. "Are you a mind reader?"
Ana snorts, which turns into a startled laugh. "God, no. I mean, that'd be pretty cool, but I think I'd rather have the ability to be invisible. Could you imagine just being able to walk into a bank and take all the money. But no, I don't read minds."
"That's the first thing you'd do, rob a bank?" Bucky questions, he can feel his mouth twitching up.
"Rob from the rich, give to the poor sort of thing." Ana nods. Her eyes float up to the ceiling and she leans back. "Although, I guess that wouldn't be right either. Actually, I'd rather walk into an animal store that's not treating their animals right and save them."
She's rambling, and for some reason, Bucky has a feeling rising in his chest. Ana looks like she's imaging it, a little furrow on her brow. He finally places the strange feeling after a moments thought. Endearing. He fins her rambling endearing. Ana is definitely not like anything Bucky expected to get. He makes his decision.
Placing the coffee mug on the desk, Bucky brings his hands together once more, twisting his fingers. "Could we- I, start the process now?"
Ana snaps out of her thoughts, her eyes focuses back on him. She smiles. "Only if you want to. There's no rush."
He nods. "I want to. The sooner the better right?"
Then Ana says something that starts the spark of trust. "On your time, the better."