PART 03: THE REASON WHY

{At the other end of Danny's diner}

"Hanamichi..."

The name was mouthed almost inaudibly as burning blue eyes watched the dark haired Kainan player locked lips with the redhead. He had this strongest urge to walk over to the trio and yank the dark haired monkey away but he didn't. He couldn't. He'd already blown the chance of making that action 'right'. All he could do now was stare and clench his fist as he slowly bleed inside.

Coming across the diner on his way home after spending the entire day walking around the vicinity of Shohoku High was not totally out of coincidence. Though a major part of him had been apprehensive and wary of seeing Sakuragi so soon after their 'talk', there was that nagging feeling that just wouldn't go away...

He knew he had hurt Sakuragi, and having the entire day of doing nothing but think of how he might have actually blown what could be his only chance of happiness dimmed his sick satisfaction of seeing Sakuragi hurt the way he's been hurt. He had to see him again, if only to see if he was alright.

... His heart had won in the end. Thus, there he was, sitting... bleeding... aching...

Sighing, if only... No, he shook his head, it's too late to be sorry for anything. The cold and callous way he had treated Sakuragi earlier that morning had to be done... or so he kept fooling himself again into believing. Even now, he could still hear himself say the words...

I don't love you Sakuragi, not anymore

LIAR! His mind screamed. Never had he said anything so untrue as those words ever before. He loved the redhead; loved him ever since he allowed himself to admit that particular fact after loosing the game against Kainan but was afraid to do anything about it till after the game against Ryokufu.

"Hanamichi..."

I love you. Why won't you believe me?

Sakuragi's words floated back into his mind and he shivered, involuntary, and closed his eyes, shutting the image of Kiyota now caressing Sakuragi's face. How he had yearned to hear those words and yet he had to throw those words away the minute they were uttered just because of his damned pride. He wished he could have believed him, believe in those words and let himself be happy. He wished he could turn back time and do things differently, act differently. Anything. But now... Now it was too late. Wishing won't change the fact that the only person who managed to awaken feelings which he deemed trivial was with somebody else instead of him.

I love you... Those were the words he had wanted to say but didn't.

Reality bites, huh, Kaede?

Rukawa snickered at that. Yeah, it does.

Opening his eyes, he tried blocking out everyone and everything from his spectral vision as his cobalt blue orbs focused on the figure whose features were, as painful as it was to admit it to himself, looked anything but suffering.

He's okay. His mind told him. Let's go home, there's nothing to keep you here anymore.

Nothing to keep me here.... Without really being aware of it, Rukawa's eyes misted as that realization pricked what little shield he had left around his heart, making it crumble into pieces. If only Sakuragi was four days earlier in conveying his feelings out loud, then, most probably, things might have turned out differently.

*** Flashback ***

{At the court near Shohoku High}

Rukawa had just finished his morning basketball practice and was drinking from his water jug when he heard a familiar laugh. Peeking through the wall like bushes, a vague smile lit his usually impassive face as he caught sight of the familiar mop of red hair. Quickly, he threw his jug into his bag and deftly slung it over his shoulders before picking his basketball from the ground.

Maybe we could play a little one-on-one? He thought and his grin was evident as thoughts of how Sakuragi would react to the challenge played in his mind. The redhead would definitely not let the challenge pass up. God knows how often the redhead had egged him for a little one-on-one before, only to be ignored. But it was different now. Sakuragi had improved, though it was not something he would willingly admit out loud; it would not be good on his ego and will only enlarge Sakuragi's already inflated one. He had seen the improvement and was actually proud of Sakuragi's achievement. So, what better way to test that improvement than to spend a school day holiday into a friendly basketball game? Thursday was a good day as any.

Decision made, expectation high, Rukawa jogged to where he had seen the red mop disappeared. But before he could round up the corner, another shrill of laughter reached his hearing. Curious, he slowed his step then made a full stop after the redhead's entire person came into sight. This time, his expression was a mixture of surprise and annoyance when he saw his teammate's companion.

"What's he doing here?" He mused, eyes narrowing into slits. Suddenly, a conversation he had heard once from his classmates flitted, unbidden, in his mind and his heart started beating precariously fast against his chest.

Sakuragi is seeing some guy from Kainan.

A guy?

Yeah.

Are you serious? Don't tell me he's gay?

I didn't say that!

But what if he is?

Well, then that answers your question though why he'd choose some guy from that school is beyond me.

You're sick! Aren't you the least bit concern that one of our players might actually be gay?

Why should I? It's none of my concern anyway.

Rukawa had walked away before the other girl could answer back. The conversation didn't just made him uncomfortable but slightly edgy as well. It was good that at least someone's not against homosexuals but that bit about Sakuragi seeing someone, a guy, hurt him. Later that day, during practice, he remembered paying extra attention to the redhead. He found nothing suspicious though, except for the chocolates, the gatorade, the note, and the rose he'd been receiving for two days in a row. Suffice to say, he went home that night forgetting the conversation altogether..

But now... Seeing the two together... That same feeling of discomfort and edginess was back, telling him something which his heart was still fighting hard to repress. Willing the feeling to go away, he fought to keep an open enough mind and sought to give reason as to why the two were together.

They hate each other, his mind reminded him.

So why are they together? He mused.

And they look quite close too, his inner self jeered.

Putting a halt to that thought, Rukawa then edged nearer to the pair though not near enough to be spotted. Opting to wait, Rukawa leaned against the pole just across the street and allowed himself to remember what it was that made him believe that that particular conversation he overheard was just plain hearsay.

A week after he rejoined the team, his captain, Ryota, and his teammates, except for Sakuragi, had gotten the kick of teasing him senseless whenever they'd see the stem of rose inside his locker. He had ignored them, of course, and went about his own way. He couldn't very well tell them that he had actually loved the roses, or the sweets, or the notes, and yes, even the muffins.

Oblivious of how he was already attracting curious stares as well as admiring glances just from leaning against the wall with a tender expression lighting his already handsome face, Rukawa gave some passersby a reason to stop and stare when a small smile displaced his usually pencil drawn lips. So caught up was he in his own world remembering that he totally forgot where he was and why he was there. All his attention was wrapped on those moments in the past; moments that were given preciously to him by Sakuragi.

True that he had felt awkward and quite uncomfortable with all the attentions he had received the past month. But still, the surge of happiness.. the warmth against his chest... He wouldn't trade those for anything in the world. It had really caught him unprepared to feel that he was being seriously wooed. Not by one of his gawking fans, but a guy. And was shocked even further to admit that he actually liked it. Of course, if it had been anybody else than his 'Aho then he would have hunted the guy down and beat him to a pulp.

With a slight chuckle escaping his lips, he fondly remembered one of the random notes he had received the past month.

*************************************
In the morning
when the sun
is just starting to light the day
I am awakened
and my first thoughts are of you
At night
I stare at the dark trees
silhouetted against the quiet stars
I am entranced into a complete peacefulness
and my last thoughts are of you
I LOVE YOU!
*************************************
(Note: The poem is by: Susan Polis Schutz)

The words were like a cut from someone's poetry, or maybe it was, but the sappiness and crappiness of it went unbidden to him. Instead he felt elated by the fact that Sakuragi had taken the time to think of coming up with it.

Yes, it had been one heck of a month and he wondered what Sakuragi has in store for him next.

All of a sudden, a loud yelp snapped Rukawa to the present and it took only a second of looking around to find out its source, Kiyota. It seemed to him that the Kainan player had tripped over something. If he was not preoccupied, he would have snickered.

Straightening, he returned his full attention to the present and watched as Sakuragi hurriedly went to the aid of the Kainan player on the ground. Upon helping Kiyota onto one of the street benches, the redhead bent his knees and inspected his companion's bruised knee.

Idiot. You just have to get his attention by falling. Rukawa bitterly thought, eyeing the Kainan player with fire in his eyes.

He could see that the redhead had torn the jeans open, exposing the bruised knee further, and then took something like a handkerchief from his pocket. Spitting on the cloth to make it slightly damp, Sakuragi then proceeded to clean the wound with it. Maybe it was the roughness of the cloth or the force of the dab, Rukawa really couldn't make out, but suddenly, another loud yelp was wrenched out from Kiyota's lips making the 'Aho lift his head up. Waiting for any semblance of response from the redhead, Rukawa was suddenly taken slightly aback after hearing Sakuragi's burst of laughter from whatever it was that Kiyota had said. Possibly aggravated, he saw Kiyota playfully punch Sakuragi's shoulder and then move his head from side to side before stooping low to whisper something to him.

Rukawa was suddenly beset with jealousy over the shorter guy's nearness to the redhead, and would have risked being spotted if not for a voice telling him to stand his ground and wait.

When Kiyota pulled back, he could see a grin plastered all over Sakuragi's boyish face and replied something back. Before Rukawa could even ponder on it, he saw the redhead bent his head to place a kiss on Kiyota's bruised knee and then stood up. That alone made his mind reel in disbelief and felt his heart clench. Then, to make matters worst, he watched as Sakuragi rendered the same tender gesture towards his companion's forehead and then trailed slowly down to lightly touch his lips onto Kiyota's.

Glued by what he saw, Rukawa stood rigid as his eyes closed shut in an effort to block the painful sight. This is not happening! This is not happening. He chanted like a mantra. But the vision lingered in his mind, splashing him with cold realization of what the action implied and no matter how hard he willed it to disappear... he had this acute feeling that his world had been turned inside out once again, exposing him to the same pain and heartache he had felt once.

"Just like before… Just like the time before I leave for the states." He sadly remembered. Upon opening his eyes, Sakuragi had already settled Kiyota comfortably on his back, intending to give the guy a piggyback, possibly all the way to Kainan.

Seconds, minutes, hours? Rukawa didn't know how long he stood there after the pair disappeared. All he was really aware of was of how his heart felt painfully crushed. He couldn't move, couldn't react. It was only when a loud horn from a stopping car down the street permeating through his haze did he snap from his trancelike state. And though he was now rendered mobile, all he did was to punch the unknowing pole beside him.

It was a good thing that there were not much people about, for he would have seemed comical to some, seeing that he turned the pole into a sack of punching bag and stopped only when blood trickled down his hand. Tired, drained, and emotionally aching all over, he slumped on the ground and cradled his head between his hands, heedless of the tears now flowing freely from his eyes.

Why, 'Aho? Why lie? Why show that you care when you have him in your life? He mentally cried, immersed in his personal hell.

Two stores down the street, a middle-aged man had just exited the coffee house and was about the cross the street when he spotted the seemingly asleep young man not far from where he stood. Thinking that the teen had gotten drunk or something the night before and was unable to go home because of it, the middle-aged man walked towards the hunched figure and gently tapped one raised arm.

"Son, it's time for you to go home now. Your parents must be worried sick about you." Though the man expected a reaction of sort, he was visibly taken aback when he realized that the youth was not not really asleep, but crying.

"What..."

Whatever the man was about to say was cut off as Rukawa barked a curt, "Go away!" Venting his feelings on a stranger was not intentional. It was just unfortunate that the man had chosen that time to be a good Samaritan.

Taking heed in the warning clearly seen in the youth's pain filled blue eyes, the man wisely backed away. "Sure, Kid. It's your problem, not mine," he said, turning to leave. But before crossing the street he again turned and added, "Just remember that talking about it helps. You need to do something about that feeling, Son. Don't let the negative feelings eat you alive. Do something about it."

Rukawa followed the retreating man's back as the advice managed to pervade through the torrent of emotions and questions raging in his heart and head. "Do something about it..." He trailed. And after like a minute or two, he angrily brushed his tears away as the usual icy glint in his eyes gradually returned.

He had to have answers, and he knew just where to start asking.

Mito.

*** End Flashback ***

Looking at his still slightly bruised hand now deathly white from gripping the edge of the table, he remembered how the dark haired gangster and the others tried to evade his questions, answering incoherently and taking turns in pointing the other. But since they saw that he was serious and determined to know the truth, they finally caved and reluctantly admitted that Sakuragi's involvement with Kiyota was, indeed, true.

They are lovers or were

Sakuragi stopped seeing him when he heard you came back

I can't tell you if Hanamichi loved him or not

He didn't tell you because he didn't want you to get hurt

He'll tell you in his own time

Those were Mito's words. Past or not, the truth hurts. He had silently thanked fate that there was no school that day since there was no way he could have faced anybody, let alone Sakuragi himself. Hence, to escape everything and everybody, he locked himself in his room for the remainder of that day. Once in his room, however, all he did for a full hour was to stare at a fading picture of Sakuragi in his hands, creased at the edges after being crumpled and then smoothened once too many times during the hour. He couldn't understand himself. For all the obvious reasons, hating the redhead would have been the right thing to do. He did, in fact, for a while. He hated him enough that he almost threw every token Sakuragi had given him. But he stopped himself in time. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. The love notes, poems, little messages, and that one picture in his hand of the self proclaimed Tensai, those, as well as the Sakura petals already wilted in his shoe box, were all that was left of his illusion that Sakuragi loved him.

And now, after reliving the past, he watched the object of his affection and misery across the diner and wondered... Have I done the right thing? Was salvaging my pride worth this much hurt, this much pain? His heart cried 'no' but his mind reminded him that it was already too late. What's done is done, no use thinking about it anymore.

{At the other end of the diner}

Maki observed the two chuckling teen before him with a tinge of affection and slight envy in his eyes. And for whatever they were chuckling about now, he had no idea. He was lost in his own world. A world where he was but a spectator to Kiyota's and Sakuragi's still-yet-to-be-named-and-recognized relationship. People who knew of this, as well as his own personal relationship with the former, often asked him why? Why allow the one he professes to love be intimate with someone else? Why agree to it? Why stay? Why continue? Why live that sort of life? Why?

Why indeed, he wondered as he sat back and kept only half an awareness to what's going on around him. Those were questions he had asked himself once too many times before. But try as he might, he always came up... vague. It was as if there was really no way around the situation they were in... Accept or Leave. Eventually, he grew tired of asking himself, and in fear of loosing what he deemed to be as the best thing that had ever happened in his life, he resigned himself to the fact that his lover has this unnamed bond with another man. Eventually, he learned to live with it. And eventually, he grew to like the redhead as well.

Now, as he sat across from the two, there's that feeling inside of him that sort of warms his heart. Jealousy had no place in their life anymore. None for the relationship before him. None for Kiyota's special feelings for Sakuragi. And most definitely none felt towards Sakuragi. Whatever relationship the three of them presently have or may have had, Maki holds it special in his heart.

With a slight chuckle to himself, he put a stop to his thoughts and returned his attention back to the present. Hearing a laugh, he turned to the source and found Sakuragi almost falling off his seat from something Kiyota had said.

"What's the joke?" Maki asked, grinning.

"Er... Nothing," Sakuragi replied, still laughing.

"Oh? Sure sounded something to me." Maki pressed, curious as to what could probably cause Sakuragi's respite from his depression.

"Ch!" Kiyota snorted, straightening in his seat and looking somewhat peeved at his once mentor turned lover. "If you must know, he was teasing me with something you've taught him!"

Eyes snapping wide, "Me? What did I do?" Maki inquired, incredulous and baffled.

If anything, Maki's present expression added to Sakuragi's present fun. He couldn't stop laughing. Shinichi's definitely going to get it, he thought.

Uncrossing his arms from his chest, Kiyota leaned towards Maki and said, "What on earth possessed you to teach him that trick anyway?"

"What?" Maki stammered, leaning back to look at Kiyota's face. "What trick?"

Rolling his eyes, Kiyota muttered something under his breath before gripping Maki's ear so he could whisper 'it' to him. No need making nearby patrons uncomfortable by blurting it out loud. When he was done 'delivering' his admonitory speech, he slowly eased back in his seat and gave his lover a reproaching look.

Blinking a couple times, Maki then managed a loud snicker as the 'subtle' admonition finally sunk in. "Don't tell me you're jealous of that?" He asked in all honest curiosity.

"What, so now you're parroting this Red Monkey?" Kiyota rebuked, pointing at a now short-of-breath redhead from continuous laughing. He was slightly miffed to feel that both his brown-eyed lovers were tag teaming against him. It's just not fair! Maki should side with him and Sakuragi should also side with him. Not the other way around.

"Parroting?"

"Yeah, me," Sakuragi revealed, trying but failing to stop his laughter altogether. "I sorta asked that question earlier."

"Oh?" Maki mouthed. He was now the one trying to hold HIS mirth. It wouldn't do him any good to antagonize his lover further seeing that he was yet to receive a proper welcoming home greeting. From both boys.

"Nobunaga, I only taught him that so he could use it on Rukawa," Maki explained.

"Yeah right." Kiyota pouted, turning his head away from Maki.

"It's the truth! Why else would I teach him that?"

Laughter reduced to a slight grin, "Yeah, Nobu-kun, why do you think he'd teach me that?" Sakuragi egged, obviously enjoying himself.

Throwing Sakuragi a glare, Kiyota then turned to Maki and said, "You should have told me."

What? "I should have..." Maki faltered then shook his head. Placing both his hands on the table, he leaned forward and looked straight at glaring baby blue eyes. "Look, there's nothing for you to feel jealous about. If you're mad coz' I didn't tell you, then I'm sorry. But if it's any consolation, it's not that big a deal. So I taught him a new trick, so what?" He shrugged then plowed on. "We didn't do anything behind your back, Nobunaga."

Sensing the change in Maki, Kiyota fidgeted in his seat. He didn't want to start a fight with his once in a while home lover but, he needed to let his feelings out. They need to understand why he was feeling that way. "He used it on me you know," he disclosed in a rather small tone.

"What?" Maki didn't catch that last bit. He was rather preoccupied with trying to understand his lover's sudden jealous spell. If there's someone who ought to feel the slightest bit jealous, it should be him. Turning to glance at Sakuragi, he wondered how the third wheel in their threesome relationship was taking it in. It was not an everyday occurrence to have someone dump you then be someone's source of jealousy. Especially if that someone became close enough to be called 'lover' in the real sense of the word, and not just someone considered as a means of relieving one's awaken desire for the same gender. Looking at Sakuragi, Maki could only see understanding and a tender expression on that boyishly rugged but transparent face directed solely at Kiyota. Despite the tense situation, he smiled. It warmed him to realize that though Sakuragi was hurting from Rukawa's harsh dismissal, the former seemed to be able to forget it, may it be temporary, just by being with Kiyota. In their own different way, they both deeply care for the present Captain of Kainan's basketball team.

Speaking of which, Maki returned to the situation at hand and repeated his question, "Say it again, Nobunaga. But this time, try saying it within hearing range. Okay?"

Sighing, "I said, he used that trick on me."

After a terse silence, "Ah..." Maki finally got it but was far from understanding the reason behind it still. "When?"

"Before we came here," Sakuragi supplied, not tearing his gaze from Kiyota. "What's the matter with you? Are you really upset about t?"

Turning towards the redhead, "Not really, Hanamichi," Kiyota answered.

"Then what?" Both Maki and Sakuragi asked the same time.

Lowering his gaze and fixing it on Sakuragi's half-eaten sandwich, "I... I just don't want the two of you doing something without me," Kiyota finally blurted, head lowered even more.

"That's it? That's your reason?" Sakuragi's expression turned incredulous. He couldn't believe that such a petty reason was the real reason behind Kiyota's weird behavior. Seeing a nod, he frowned. "I don't get it. Why would that upset you?"

For his part, Maki sat ramrod straight in his seat, also waiting for Kiyota's response.

"Because it's not right! He's my boyfriend and you're... you're... my lover!" Kiyota blurted, voice not that loud to reach the next table though. "The two of you aren't supposed to be lovers. It's supposed to be between me and you and me and him. Not you two. There shouldn't be a YOU TWO in this threesome. It should be You, Me, and Him." Kiyota finished, out of breath.

"What?" Sakuragi exclaimed, aghast, voice carrying loud enough to reach some nearby patrons' earshot and one's whose vigil never left their table.

Maki, on the other hand, didn't react quite the same way. If anything, he grinned from ear to ear and had to stifle a laugh. "Possessive aren't you?" Was Maki's only comment.

Kiyota snorted and crossed his arms. "Damn right I am."

Refusing to share Maki's casual acceptance, Sakuragi grasped Kiyota's chin so they could be eye to eye. "Let me get this straight. You're upset coz' your boyfriend and I had a few moments without you?" Seeing a nod, he continued. "Okay, I understand your logic a bit since he," points at Maki, "IS your boyfriend. But, I don't get why you seem to think that that condition applies to me as well?" Looking alarmingly serious, "Since when did I become exclusively yours?"

"Since you started screwing me, you idiot!" Kiyota snapped and then gasped, he had not intended for Sakuragi to know that. Shit! He cursed, heart clenching tight upon seeing Sakuragi's expression. "Hana..." He trailed, reaching out to capture the hand that freed his chin. But Sakuragi turned away.

Guilt... Sadness... Pain... Confusion... Anger... Those emotions were running havoc inside Sakuragi, twisting his gut, gripping his heart. Kiyota's notion of what they were supposed to be to each other tore at him. His life couldn't get more complicated than that. There he was, sitting with two people who obviously cares for him and yet all he could think of was how sorry he was that he couldn't give them what they want and how stupid he was of letting things go further than it should be. Things shouldn't be that complicated. "Damn!" He softly cursed, and as he cradle his head between his hands, he totally missed seeing Maki's understanding gaze and Kiyota's growing trepidation.

What welcome reprieve Sakuragi had from his depression was now gone. He was faced with feeling that ache again. The very same ache which seemed to have found a permanent attachment to his heart from the moment he realized that he loved Rukawa. Ironically, that same ache was the very reason which led him to Kiyota's waiting arms. So why couldn't he return to those arms now? Simple... The ache did not really go away.

"Hana?" Kiyota tentatively called again, worried. Sakuragi had been silent for way too long.

Hearing his name called, Sakuragi lifted his head and brought his pained-confused filled eyes to meet those of his once-ago-distracting lover. A gasp was torn from Kiyota as he saw the expression in those brown depths and he instinctively reached for Sakuragi's hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. Little did he know that it alleviated nothing but instead fueled something within the redhead which the former was regretfully feeling.

With a sad smile, Sakuragi freed his hand from Kiyota's grasp and faced forward, meeting Maki's thoughtful gaze. "I'm sorry, Nobu, I didn't mean to lead you on but... like I said... what we have... it has to stop. As much as I want to... I can't, not anymore. Not while he's here," he softly said, pointing to his heart. That admission meant a lot to him. By saying it, he finally accepted the fact that nothing and no one could ever take that ache away again, but Rukawa. And with that acceptance, Sakuragi tore his gaze away from that of Maki's as gnawing guilt overtook him.

Silence hang like a veil of depression around the table as its occupants took a moment to sort themselves out; Sakuragi in silent sufferance, Kiyota in silent struggle with his feelings, and Maki in silent contemplation. Though he knew that Sakuragi's feelings ought to be his primary concern, Maki couldn't help but think of his boyfriend. How to make Kiyota see reason? How to make Kiyota let Sakuragi go? Maki now realize how hard a task it would be. But still, he need to make his boyfriend see reason or at least make him recognize the fact that Sakuragi never once said anything about love and commitment to the both of them.

Sitting beside the redhead, Kiyota was barely controlling the urge to grab the dejected teenager and shake him back to his old self. Brooding and being depressed was not something he'd like to associate Sakuragi with. The redhead was life on two feet and it infuriated him further with the knowledge that even with his absence, Rukawa was successful in taking that life away. If only thoughts could make one suffer, Rukawa would be suffering painfully right at that moment. A sound from Maki brought him back from his perilous thoughts and as he turn his head, he was in time to see his boyfriend reach out to gently caress one of Sakuragi's upturned arm.

Upon meeting dulled honey brown eyes, Maki smiled and sighed. "Hanamichi, I know what you're feeling right now, and believe me, I understand. I don't think Nobunaga meant anything by feeling that way about you." Seeing that Kiyota was about to say something, "He cares for you, we both do, and we don't want to see you hurting," he quickly added.

Somehow, Sakuragi got this feeling that they were not talking about the 'incident' which upset Kiyota anymore. And sure enough, he got his confirmation after hearing Kiyota say, "Yeah, that guy is not worth the pain, Hana. Just forget about him already. You got us."

Guilt aside, Sakuragi turned to Kiyota. "That's just it. I can't. Why can't you accept that I love him, Kiyota?" Sakuragi cried, feeling more hurt by Kiyota's unwillingness to accept that fact.

Kiyota was taken aback. Hearing Sakuragi call him that brought back memories of incessant bickering between the two of them.

Maki sighed and leant back in his seat. This is getting us nowhere, he thought, raking his fingers through his hair. Then, without really thinking about it, he suddenly said, "Why can't the two of you reach a compromise?"

"What do you mean?"

Looking at his lover, "What I mean is that, instead of you constantly bad mouthing Rukawa in front of Hanamichi, why not help him?" Maki suggested.

Kiyota looked shock. Sakuragi looked hopeful.

"Not happening, Shin-chan. I can't even stand the guy. I'd rather Hana just forgets him." Kiyota said after a while.

Sakuragi's hopeful look came crashing down on him and he returned to cradling his head between his hands.

Brows knitting in exasperation, Maki leaned forward and turned serious eyes to his lover. "Nobu, how many times must we tell you that Hana loves Rukawa. Not you. Not me. Him. HE LOVES HIM! Get that fact to sink into your head will you?" Seeing a scowl, "And stop feeling jealous about it. If you don't want to loose him then you'd better stop that too. Go find something to like about Rukawa. Anything! Just stop fighting Hanamichi about it!" Maki ended in vexation, surprising both Kiyota and Sakuragi.

"And what..." Kiyota started saying then stopped, sounds of plates breaking capturing his attention. Turning around, his eyes widened and his expression contorted into a fierce scowl. Of all the days...

"Shit!" Maki softly cursed and leaned sideways to catch a hold of his boyfriend's wrist. He knew what the other was thinking and letting him do it would only cause more damage than good. "Sit down, Nobunaga." He hissed under his breath, tightening his grip on Kiyota's wrist. Out of the corner of his eye, he was half glad to see that Sakuragi was still oblivious to what was happening around him, still wallowing in his grief no doubt. And though a voice in his head was telling him to not trample with fate, a full confrontation might not be a good idea. Either way, it was inevitable and it was a good time as any anyway. So why was he stopping his lover from stomping to where a now-openly-glaring Rukawa was standing? Easy... none of them was really ready.

Kiyota, however, was not thinking that way. All he could think of was how he would so like to give that arrogant ice man a piece of his mind. He's been itching to do it ever since the guy's return and who was he to pass up on an obviously open opportunity? One which he wouldn't be likely held responsible of instigating. Ooohhhh, the things he wanted to say, the things he wanted to do, if only Maki would let go of his wrist. Looking down, he wriggled his wrist and tried to get free but to no avail. Meeting his lover's eyes, "Let me go, Shinichi."

"No," was Maki's firm answer, eyes steadfast on Kiyota.

Finally sensing the tiff around him, Sakuragi dropped his hands on the table and turned inquiring gaze from Maki and then Kiyota. A confused and apprehensive look crossed his face as the thought that the two were fighting because of him entered his mind. But before he could say anything, a movement from the corner of his eye made him turn sideways and then... his heart stopped.

"Kitsune..."

Sakuragi blinked, and then blinked again. He couldn't quite believe that Rukawa was there, just a few distance from him. What was he doing there? Was he looking for him? Questions were whirling but none got answered. All he could do was speculate and, deep down, hope. Without even being aware of it, he stood and was about to walk to where Rukawa was when a hand suddenly grasped his arm and jerked him back around.

"What the..."

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Nobunaga..." Maki warned but Kiyota took no heed.

"You're not going anywhere, Hanamichi. You're staying right here and that's that. I won't have him hurt you anymore." Deep down, Kiyota knew he was being irrational and acting way out of line. But he didn't care. HIS Hana's not gonna get hurt again. Not on his watch.

For Sakuragi, something inside him snapped at being held back; his eyes blazed and his fist clenched, ready to strike. Only a niggling voice from somewhere deep within reminding him of Kiyota's feelings made him unclench his fist and quell his anger. "Let me go, Nobunaga," he said, voice calmed and controlled though the underlying hint of his earlier anger was still evident.

By now, Maki has stood as well and purposely placed himself between Kiyota and Sakuragi. If blows were to be thrown, he'd make damn sure to stop it before it's delivered. Becoming a one night spectacle and source of gossip was not his idea of spending the weekend away from the University nor was the thought of a fight ensuing between his lover and Sakuragi.

At the other end of the diner, an oblivious waitress wanting to only clean the broken plates scattered on the floor went scurrying back to wherever she came from after receiving a death glare cold as ice. It's source, after drinking its final fill of the redhead, reluctantly tore it's sapphire gaze away from the trio across the diner. The pain has finally reached the border of unbearable thus with a firm resolve and a definite grip on his emotions, Rukawa bid a silent farewell to his erstwhile love as he walked towards the door, out of the diner, and out of Sakuragi's life...

For good.

To be continued...........

A note...

Please bear with me for the slow updates. Can't seem to hold on to that inspiration long enough to finish this fic altogether. And though I have had quite many a times thought of discontinuing this fic - I won't. I can't. I'll finish this.. so just bear with me for awhile.

Thanks again for reading.. and again, do leave any comments you'd like to share and impart. It would be highly appreciated.