The Dice

I see you kept my dice after all these years," Qi'ra, full of wonder in her tone, said to Han as he clutched 5-year old Ben's hand.

—oOo—

Days later

Ben took the dice and played with it. He threw it to the wall several times already but it wouldn't break.

"Look at that, Han. Your son loves that dice," Leia said, "It's his favorite toy."

Ben threw it again, wondering why it wouldn't break.

—oOo—

Ben Solo was 10 when he wanted to take the millennium falcon for a ride.

He was careful lest somebody hears him...when he heard moaning coming from the cockpit.

He went to investigate, tip toeing.

Qi'ra, that woman who had smiled at his father years ago for keeping the dice, was kissing his father torridly, her legs spread wide open and Han trapped within them.

"I love you," she said, her breath rasping.

"I know," Han said, "And After all these years, I haven't forgotten."

Ben slowly got out of the falcon. For once grateful that his father wasn't force sensitive...for a burning anger raged in his chest.

—oOo—

"Why do you hate your father?" Rey asked.

Kylo Ren hesitated. He felt betrayed by Han but did he hate him? Anger flared in his chest then it dwindled to regret. "No, I don't hate him," he replied.

—oOo—

When Ben was 11, he saw Qi'ra again and asked her if she really loves his father.

And she said yes, claiming Han was the only light she could see in her darkness.

Qi'ra then took the light and plunged Ben in darkness.

For a while, Ben thought they could share Han but Qi'ra said that Han had known her for years. She was the one for him and if not for Ben they would be together.

"No, you're wrong!" scowled 11-year old Ben. "My dad loves my mom!"

"Because she makes him feel respectable but I give him passion," replied Qi'ra, "Have you not seen how we kiss?" she goaded.

That was when Ben realized that Qi'ra and probably even Han had seen him that fateful day in the falcon...And Han had never said a thing to him. Obviously, his father had made his choice clear.

—oOo—

Ben joined the dark side so he could split his family apart...to spare his mom knowing she was second best...because for him, she wasn't.

And because he hated the name Solo, he called himself Kylo Ren.

—oOo—

Rey closed the door between them.

Kylo, still kneeling, the dice in his hand when it too just disappeared from his grasp.

Did he finally succeeded in destroying the dice?

No. The dice lived on. Just like what his dad felt for the woman who had it for three years.

—oOo—

~6 4 18 AF P Re-P 12 26 18~