My Little Champion (League of Legends x My Little Pony)
Intro Song:
My Little Champion, my little champion, ahh~~~
My Little Champion!
I used to wonder how Pentakills feel
My Little Champion!
Until all of you queued up with me
Katarina: Sinister Blade!
Lux: L-O-L!
Ashe: The Frost Archer!
Vi: Piltover Enforcer!
Sona: Maven of Strings…
Leona: And Radiant Dawn!
And the Rift is where we all compete!
Now, my little champion!
We're the only ponies here in the League~!
ACT 1
Katarina huffed for the umpteenth time as she tapped her foot on the dirt impatiently. She and her team were supposed to have a match at the Howling Abyss with a few other champions, but their summoners had made a mistake in sending them to the Summoner's Rift. Lately, the Institute has been encountering problems with the magic in the Rift, which is the main reason why the matches are being held at the Abyss.
Ever since Teemo's mushroom exploded at his own face, Zed's shadow attacking him without his consent and Tibbers turning on Annie when she had summoned him, the Summoners began to think that the magic of the Rift must be triggering the uncontrolled incidents.
Their summoners had contacted them through their mind link at least ten minutes ago, telling them that they were going to fix it and transport them back to the summoning chambers. They were also notified of their Nexus exploding to prevent any surprises, since the magic inside the large gem is the one they'll be using to transport them back to the chambers.
But their Nexus has yet to explode.
"This is so boring!" Vi whined. "We've been here for hours!"
"Don't exaggerate, Vi, I'm sure we've only been here for a few minutes." Ashe stated.
"I'm bored too!" Lux piped in.
"Will you three just shut up?" Katarina growled, glaring at the trio. "We're already stuck here doing nothing. I don't need a bunch of whiners like you to make it worse."
"If you three are so impatient, why don't you investigate?" Darius gruffly suggested.
Vi lifted her gauntlets up. "Maybe I will!"
As the Enforcer made her way down their respawn platform, Lux trailed after her. "I'm coming with you!"
Ashe sighed. "Vi, Lux, I don't think that's a wise idea."
"Come on!" Lux grabbed one of Ashe's wrist and tugged her along with them, pulling the archer towards their Nexus.
Katarina rolled her eyes and left her crouched position. Darius, who is currently leaning on the counter of the shop, turned his gaze to her. He watched as the assassin dusted herself for a moment before walking after their three teammates.
"You going with them?"
"It's better than just staying here and doing nothing." She grunted out, stalking off the platform and leaving her fellow Noxian. As soon as Katarina had her two feet planted outside the respawn platform's barrier, the ground beneath her boots shook as the Nexus started cracking.
It only took a blink of an eye before Katarina felt her whole body get engulfed by the magical aura the Nexus emitted as it exploded.
xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx
Ashe slowly opened her eyes, brushing her white hair out of her face as she lifted herself off the floor. She attempted to rub her right eye, but much to her surprise, instead of a clenched fist rubbing said eye, a white hoof entered her field of vision.
"What the…!?"
She backed away, stomping her… hooves?
"What…! What is…! What happened!?" She started jumping in panic. She reached for the top of her head to feel her hair, only to feel her soft white mane, which has replaced her original locks. "What…! Wha…_!"
She looked over her shoulder and found a thick white pony tail connected to her backside. It gently wagged.
"AHHHHH!" Ashe's scream echoed throughout the summoning chamber. "WHAT HAPPENED!?"
The Frost Archer jumped back when a pony wearing a white dress dashed in front of her, running on some sort of rainbow colored platform that magically appears under her hooves as she galloped in mid-air.
"We're ponies!" The pony with yellow-orange coat, that looks awfully familiar, squealed excitedly, leaving sparkling dusts while her yellow mane flew back as she passed.
Ashe instantly recognized the voice. "L-Lux!?"
"Yep!" The energetic pony, who turns out to be Lux, stopped high up in the air, a rainbow floor under her hooves preventing her from falling. "The one and only!"
"Don't forget about me, too." Someone murmured beside her.
Turning her head to her left, she found a pink pony with a familiarly large gauntlet hooked on her head and half of her upper body. The 'VI' tattoo on the pony's face didn't go unnoticed by the Freljordian.
"Vi?"
"Yeah, it's me." Vi muttered, blowing a few strands of her pink mane away from her face.
"Ugh… What the hell happened?"
Three heads turned to the direction where the voice originated and found another pony. This time, this pony has a dark red coat, a mane that's colored with a different shade of red and a scar on its left eye that easily gave its identity to the trio.
"Katarina? Is that you?"
Katarina shook the holsters of her blades off of her, leaving her in only wearing her leather jacket that had magically shrunk to fit her pony form.
"Who else, idiot? Of course it's me." Katarina sneered, kicking her blades a short distance away from her. She looked down to herself and groaned, looking up to the three pony champions in front of her. "Please tell me this is all a joke."
"I believe," Ashe sighed, bowing her head and hiding her face with her cowl. "It's not."
"What the hell happened to us?" Vi dragged her other gauntlet with her own teeth, one of the large hextech machinery already perched on top of her little pony structure. "I can't even use both of my gauntlets!"
"My baton and I are now," Lux shot a rainbow beam to the air, which came out of the horn on her forehead. "One!"
"You're the only one happy with this, brat!" Katarina shouted angrily. "How am I supposed to use my knives!?"
Katarina jumped towards her knives and drew one of it with her teeth. She pulled her head back and tried throwing it at Lux with a grunt, but it merely swirled sloppily in the air before dropping on the floor, bouncing for a few times.
Obviously, she's not deadly in her pony form.
"UGH! Why do I even have this mark on my butt then!?" Katarina showed her butt to the three. "I can't even throw a single freaking blade!"
Their eyes landed on the tattoo on Katarina's flank, which shows a pair of blades positioned in forming the letter 'X'.
Ashe turned her gaze to Lux and spotted a tattoo on her flank as well. Lux's mark is different though. It practically screams, well, Lux. The Demacian's mark is a sparkling double rainbow. She directed her attention to Vi and scanned the Enforcer's pony body, also spotting a mark near her tail. Vi's mark is a 'cuter version' of her gauntlet.
She looked over her shoulder and checked if she has a mark as well, and she did. Her flank mark shows the emblem of a four snowflakes, one big one and three other smaller ones surrounding it.
"What are these marks?"
Lux hummed, rubbing her chin with a hoof. It didn't take long for her to raise a hoof up in the air and exclaim, "Aha! I'll call it… Cutie Mark!"
Ashe sighed, Vi groaned and Katarina glared.
"No way am I calling this butt tattoo a Cute whatever! BLADES don't even represent cuteness! They represent violence! Do you hear me?" Katarina raised a hoof and pointed to her lips. "Read my lips. VI-O-LEN-CE!"
One eyebrow raised, Ashe asked no one in particular, "Did she just add one more syllable to that?"
Lux huffed, the frost Archer's question unnoticed. "Violence doesn't solve everything, you know."
Katarina fumed. Ashe and Vi were actually waiting for steam to come out of Katarina already red ears.
"WELL! It does for me!" Katarina began snatching blades out of its own sheathes and tried throwing them to the blonde, which she pathetically failed.
Ashe held her head with a hoof as she shook her head at Katarina's futile attempts in throwing blades with her teeth. She approached the Avarosan bow beside her, she poked with a hoof before releasing a sigh. Looks like the quiver of arrows on her back are useless and merely for display.
Vi perked up beside her, remembering their remaining teammate, which is currently missing.
"Hey, wait a minute."
"Hmm?"
"Where's Darius?"
Ashe looked to her right.
Nothing.
She looked to her left.
Nothing.
Front.
A Demacian sticking her tongue out mockingly at a very annoyed and fuming Noxian.
Over her shoulder…
Ashe's eyes widened as big as plates.
Of course Vi noticed it.
"Whatcha lookin' at?"
"Umm…" Ashe turned a bit and pointed at the direction she's looking at. "I think I found Darius."
"Darius?" Katarina stopped her assault when everything dawned to her. "Oh, shit! Where is Darius? If he sees us like this, he'll…-"
Lux, who also has wide eyes and has landed beside Katarina, cut her off when the mage turned her head to where Ashe and Vi are now staring.
Katarina gasped.
Darius stood there in the shadows, staring at them creepily, his lips formed in a line.
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"Run!"
As soon as they turned to face the still-closed door of the summoning chambers, Darius' voice filled the whole room.
"PONIES!"
xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx
The thick, and supposedly indestructible, door of the summoning chamber was suddenly thrown off its hinges as soon as Vi rammed her head onto it, her gauntlet punching it out of their way, giving them their escape route.
"AHHHHHHH!" The four of them screamed as they ran down the hall.
Darius dashed out of the summoning chamber, skidding as he did. He immediately gave chase to the four cute little ponies that were once his teammates, his movement speed practically surpassing Hecarim's.
"PONIES!"
"Leave us alone, Darius!" Katarina yelled. The assassin spotted Malphite on their way, so she bit one of the rock fingers of the Shard of the Monolith and tugged him over as a make-shift barricade. The four of them quickly dove behind Malphite. Lux looked around Malphite and pointed a hoof at Darius.
"Malphite! Stop Darius!"
Malphite, who looks to be confused with the situation, followed Lux's order nonetheless. He lunged forward and tried tackling Darius down…
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…..
Four pair of eyes widened and four jaws dropped to the ground when Darius smashed Malphite into bits, rocks and stones scattering all over the hallway.
"HE KILLED MALPHITE!" Lux screeched in horror.
"Come on!" Ashe bit Lux's tail and tugged for a second to get the blonde's attention before they ran down the hall once again.
"He's fucking unstoppable!" Vi shouted, shoving a few summoners that blocked their way.
They galloped for a few minutes and managed to put a fair distance between them and Darius, but of course they could still hear Darius screaming, "PONIES!"
The four skidded to a halt when they got to an intersection. In front of them, there were three hallways to go down on.
"This way!" Lux, Ashe and Katarina claimed, each pointing at different halls. Lux pointed at the middle, Katarina pointed at the left and Ashe pointed at the right.
"Make up your mind!" Vi whined, stomping her front hooves and her eyes closing in irritation as she shouted at her companions. "We haven't got all day! Sooner or later, Darius is gonna…-"
When Vi opened her eyes, she stopped herself from finishing when she spotted not a single one of her pony teammates. All she could hear were the fading gallops of her three fellow pony champions.
'Wait a minute!' She thought. 'I can't hear Darius anymore.'
She felt a presence behind her and she immediately tensed, especially when a dark shadow loomed over her tiny self. Slowly, oh so slowly, Vi turned her pony body and faced…
Vi began to sweat bullets as big as the ones Caitlyn usually uses and shake like a terrified leaf. "O-Oh! H-H-Hey, Da-Darius! N-Nice weather, w-we're havin', huh?"
Darius's blank face then changed, showing off a triumph grin at the pony Enforcer.
"C'mere, little Pinkie!"
"AHHHHHH!"
xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx
At the end of the three halls, the trio had managed to meet and unite with each other. Of course not without causing any incidents on their way there. Lux had disrupted a 'filming' of a teaser scene for the new 'trailer' endorsing a few champions. The scene they were filming was where Sona was about to save Miss Fortune from Kha'Zix by using her ultimate skill at him. But because of Lux suddenly, and literally, coming into the picture and pushing past the mute, Sona ended up using her skill on Miss Fortune and Kha'Zix almost decapitated the pirate hunter in the midst of the chaos.
Long story short, the three weren't quite happy with what had happened.
Back to the present…
Ashe and Lux felt a little guilty for leaving Vi like that, while Katarina didn't really give a damn. Honestly speaking, Katarina would have probably sacrificed anyone of her three companions just for her to survive. She is a Noxian, after all.
Fortunately for them, they met Caitlyn and Garen at the end of the halls, who looked down on them with surprised looks in their eyes.
"Oh, thank Avarosa! You two, please! Help us!" Ashe pleaded, trotting towards the two champions hastily.
"Ashe?" Caitlyn asked, recognizing the voice. "Is that… you?"
"It's her!" Lux confirmed for the archer. "And, Garen! It's me, brother! Luxanna! Your little sister!"
Garen's eyes widened. He crouched down on one knee and leaned forward a bit as he audited Lux's new pony appearance. "Lux?"
Lux nodded her head frantically.
"What happened?" The Piltover Sheriff asked, kneeling on the floor as well to match their height.
"How are we supposed to know? One minute, we're all human and at the Rift and the next, we're suddenly a bunch of horses!" Katarina answered grouchily.
"Hey!" Lux interjected. "We're ponies! PO-NIES! Not horses!"
Katarina glared murderously at the mage. "What's the difference!? Do I look like I care?"
Caitlyn sighed as the two started to bicker. She turned her head to Ashe, who looked awfully worried, much more worried than earlier.
"Is there something bothering you?"
Ashe nodded. "I need to meet up with Sejuani and Lissandra today."
The Sheriff's expression twisted in confusion. "Why them? I thought they were your enemies."
"Well, they are, but the Institute said that the three of us will be the ones in charge of the upcoming Snowdown next month. I'm sure that's enough of an explanation."
"Right, well," Caitlyn arranged the strap of her rifle on her shoulder. "You can't really go and meet with them in a form like that."
"But I have to! Or else, the Snowdown this year will be even more chaotic!"
"The Council's choice is chaotic." Katarina deadpanned at her. "I mean, seriously? Pair up the three sisters who wants to kill each other for a fucking throne, that'll be the day."
Caitlyn sighed, not bothering on commenting about Katarina's point. "It's your choice, then."
She then remembered something.
"Umm, Ashe, may I ask?"
"What is it?"
"Where's Vi?" She inquired. "If I recall correctly, you're one of her teammates in the previous match."
"Oh, uhh," Ashe scratched the back of her head with her right front hoof. "About that…"
"We left her." Katarina deadpanned yet again, feeling no guilt or remorse whatsoever.
"Uhh, yeah," Lux laughed sheepishly. "Umm… Dariusprobablygottoher."
"What?"
Lux bowed her head in shame, repeating her words in a low murmur. "Darius probably got to her."
"You… left her?" Caitlyn asked, looking at the mage with disbelief.
"We panicked, alright!?" Lux replied, waving her front hooves up in the air in panic.
"Listen, I have to go now," Ashe said, cutting into the conversation.
"No," Caitlyn stood up, and Garen copied her. "We'll go with you. Not only that you may need help if Sejuani or Lissandra attempts to kill you, but it will be unwise for you to separate from your fellow…"
Katarina glared, while Lux looked up to her with sparkling and innocent eyes.
"…champions."
Ashe smiled in thanks. "I appreciate the concern."
"I suppose Vi can wait for now."
xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx
Caitlyn and Garen stopped as soon as the three ponies in front of them halted. They had just arrived at the Institute gardens and a few champions and summoners can be seen conversing with each other.
"Why'd you pick this place to have a meeting?" Katarina questioned the archer.
"Believe me, it's much better to meet with those two in a public place." Ashe answered.
"Oh, so it's a precaution." Lux quirked.
"Yes, it is." Ashe took a few steps forward before facing the four. "I'll have to do this alone."
"We'll just be over there then." Garen stated, gesturing at a nearby bench.
Caitlyn nodded. "Shout if you need us."
Ashe gave them a nod before she started trotting towards her two fellow Freljordians. As she neared, Sejuani's words reached her ears, which notified her of the boar rider's impatience.
"Where is she? Foolish Queen making us wait here." Sejuani grumbled, while Bristle snorted in agreement beside her. "Who does she think she is? We're not her little minions!"
Lissandra, who is currently perched on a bench, sighed exasperatedly. "Can you not silence yourself for at least a few minutes?"
Sejuani turned and glared at Lissandra.
"Why should I even listen to you?" She stomped towards Lissandra and hovered her face over the Ice Witch's own. "I should probably kill you now for ordering me around."
Lissandra's right hand glowed with a blue hue. "You can try, but know that I won't hesitate to put you in an eternal freeze."
"Institute rules state, strictly, no fighting outside the Rift or the Abyss!" A voice called out.
Lissandra and Sejuani turned away from each other, both looking around to find where the voice had come from.
"Who the hell was that?" Sejuani questioned nobody, straightening up and slinging her flail over her right shoulder.
"I'm over here!"
The Ice Witch stood up from the bench. "It sounded like the Frost Archer."
"Down here!"
At the same time, the two looked down to their feet and found an ice blue pony with snow white mane and an all too familiar cape, cowl and quiver of arrows. They both instantly knew who the little animal is.
"Frost Archer?" Lissandra questioned.
Ashe nodded. "Yes, it is I."
Sejuani stared.
And stared.
And stared.
And stared.
"Bahahahaha!" Sejuani laughed, mockery lacing her laugh.
Ashe lightly glared at the Winter's Wrath. "I would appreciate it if you stop laughing at me."
"Why should I?" Sejuani crouched down and ruffled Ashe's mane roughly, causing the Queen to let out a small grunt. "You're harmless! Hell, you're practically a poro!"
"Stop it."
Sejuani continued ruffling her mane.
"Please, stop it." Ashe gritted out.
Lissandra merely watched as Sejuani stood up and grabbed Ashe by her white mane, dangling her in the air with one hand.
"What are you going to do about it, Your Majesty?" Sejuani challenged, smirking at Ashe. "Kill me with your cuteness?"
Ashe quirked an eyebrow. "You think I'm cute?"
The mocking question made Sejuani turn red in anger and embarrassment. She shook Ashe in the air, which caused a surge of pain through Ashe's head.
"Shut up!"
Ashe instinctively bucked Sejuani on the face, causing the boar rider to release her. But before she could drop to the ground, she bit Sejuani's fingers.
"Agh!" Sejuani grunted, trying to shake Ashe off of her fingers. "Get off!"
The Freljord Queen grunted, not letting her teeth loosen its hold on Sejuani's fingers. Sejuani grabbed Ashe's tail and started tugging it, hoping to pull Ashe off by that manner.
Unfortunately, it only made Ashe bite down on her fingers harder than before. Sejuani yelped and started running around, shaking her hand in random directions. "Let go of my fingers, damn it! Get off! Get off! Get off!"
Lissandra sighed and approached Sejuani, clasping a hand on her shoulder. "Stop moving! I'll get her of…-!"
The flail-wielding champion whipped around and accidentally used Ashe to bitch-slap the Ice Witch. Lissandra stumbled back a step or two, her helmet falling off of her head. Sejuani froze and Ashe let go of said female's fingers, dropping to the ground on her hooves. The two of them stared at Lissandra, their gazes focused on the top of the Ice Witch's head.
Two cute and furry ears can be seen protruding out of Lissandra's white hair, and honestly, it was eye-capturing.
Lissandra lifted her head up and glared menacingly at the pair. Pale blue eyes glowed and her hands copied it, the temperature around them dropping significantly. Just when Lissandra was about to eternally freeze the Winter's Wrath and the Frost Archer, Sejuani suddenly reached upward and touched one of her furry ears. In a flash, Lissandra was at least a few meters away from them, hands holding her furry ears.
"Don't touch my ears!"
"Why do you even have cat ears?" Sejuani questioned.
Ashe started stepping to the side, attempting to leave without being noticed. It's obvious there would be no proper meeting to take place. Lissandra clenched her teeth in anger. Her hands glowed again and she aimed both of it at Sejuani, seeing as Ashe had already disappeared from her sights.
"PREPARE TO BE PLACED IN A FROZEN TOMB!"
xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx
Vi huffed, her face formed in a scowl as Darius finished styling her hair. Right now, she's sitting on Darius' bed and is currently wearing a pink dress that clearly didn't suit her taste. She's thankful that her gauntlet couldn't be removed from her. Trust her, Darius tried.
"All finished!" Darius announced, stepping back from her.
She blew the side bangs on her face, only for it to land back to where it was. She directed her gaze to the Hand of Noxus, glaring at him.
"What now, huh? You're gonna change my name or something?" Vi sarcastically asked, still scowling.
"Hmm, I'm still thinking of one."
Her eyes widened in disbelief and horror. "What!? That was a sarcastic question, you idiot!"
"I got it." Darius lightly pounded a fist on his palm. "I'll call you… Fluttershy!"
"WHAT!?" Vi almost screeched. "I don't even flutter! And I'm most definitely NOT shy!"
"Hmm, you're right."
"I am VI! Okay? That's my name! Nothing else!"
"How about…"
She glared and raised a hoof at Darius, trying to go for the intimidating look… only to appear extremely and utterly cute to Darius.
"Listen here, Leg of Noxi-whatever. My name is Vi, and it stands for violence, vindictive, vice, vicious…-!"
"Pinkie Pie!"
"WHAT!? IT DOES NOT!"
"That's your name from now on." Darius declared before pinching one of Vi's cheek. "Little Pinkie Pie."
Vi slapped his hand away with a hoof of hers. "Don't touch me!"
"Hmm, it seems you have an attitude problem, little pony."
"I. AM. NOT. JUST. A. FREAKING. PONY!" Vi screamed angrily. "I'm the Piltover Enforcer!"
Darius laughed, pinching both of Vi's cheeks these times. "Sure you are, Pinkie."
Vi used her hooves to slap him away again. "If you really want to find ponies to dress up, why don't you have Caitlyn find you some!? After all! She's always on the case!"
Silence.
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"Are you saying Caitlyn has more ponies with her?" Darius asked with a serious expression.
"Of course not, you idiot! I was just saying random things!"
Darius loomed over Vi, and the dark aura he emitted made Vi gulp. With her cute little pony form, she's as harmless as an innocent poro. Darius could probably squash her with his own hand.
"Come on," Darius picked her up by her body, her flank facing to Darius' front.
"Wait! Where are we going!?"
Darius walked towards his door and swung it open. "We're going to look for your other pony friends."
"What!? No! No one can see me in a dress!" Vi used her two front hooves in holding on to the doorframe. "They can't see me like this! No! No!"
With a strong tug, Darius unlatched her hooves from his doorframe.
"Nooooo!"
xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx
Garen paced in front of Caitlyn, while said Sheriff sat on one of the couches in the lounge area in the Institute. Katarina, Ashe and Lux sat on the vacant seat beside her. Surprisingly, the ponies were behaving like angels. Well, for now, that is.
"Now, how are we supposed to turn you back into your normal forms?" Garen murmured to himself, continuing his pacing.
Lux sighed. "You know, pacing won't do anything, right?"
"We have to avoid Darius at all cost! That's! What we need to do." Katarina said, stomping one hoof on the couch.
"Why did he even act out like that?" Ashe asked, turning to the assassin.
"Pfft! You don't know?"
"What don't I know?"
Katarina rolled her eyes at Ashe's clueless self. "Darius has an obsession with ponies! He even has a collection of stuffed toys inside his closet. Don't tell him I said that, though. No one knows about it except for me, Cassiopeia and Draven."
"How do you even know?" Lux questioned, looking at Katarina weirdly. "I get Draven, but how do you and your sister know about it?"
Katarina raised a hoof. "I don't have to explain myself to a Demacian brat like you!"
"Okay, okay," Ashe pushed the two away from each other. "No need to be rude."
"Darius?"
The three pony champions stiffened as soon as they heard that name. The three of them had to stretch their necks to its fullest extent just to successfully look over the other champions lounging in the area.
Their eyes widened when they saw Darius speaking with Jax and Lee Sin.
"You two," Darius gruffly asked, carrying what looked like a pink pony stuffed toy. "Have you seen any ponies around here?"
Jax stared, while Lee Sin crossed his arms.
"Are you trying to insult me, Darius?"
Jax fake-coughed. "I'm sure the question was directed to me, Lee…-"
"No, it's directed to you both." Darius deadpanned. "Including this blind man."
"At first, Taric asked me earlier if his gems were shiny. Then, Heimerdinger asked where his goggles were. And now, you ask me if I've seen any ponies." Lee Sin pointed to his blindfolded eyes. "DO I LOOK LIKE I SEE ANYTHING!?"
"I don't know… Do you?"
Lee Sin's fists clenched as his body trembled in anger. "You take care of this oaf. I'm done with this…! This…! Whatever this is!"
As Lee Sin walked out, Darius commented, "No need to be rude."
"AS IF YOU WEREN'T RUDE TO ME!" Lee Sin walked away, ranting. "WHO ASKS A BLIND GUY DIRECTIONS!? NOBODY! NOBODY!"
Teemo, who was hugging some of his mushrooms in his arms, scooted a step away from Lee Sin's path, looking at the blind monk with a weird look. Kennen gave his shoulder a poke, wordlessly telling him not to mind the frustrated fighter.
Lux rubbed her chin with a hoof. "He has a point though. Who asks a blind man directions?"
"Apparently," Ashe shook her head. "Darius."
"Aren't you two going to hide?"
The two turned to their left and found Katarina already under Caitlyn's skirt, lifting the material up just to peek at them. The pair exchanged looks of panic before practically flashing into Caitlyn's skirt. (Hehe, flashing :3)
Caitlyn jumped on her seat, feeling three heads poke at her… at her… at… her….. you get the point. Garen turned to the direction where Darius is, and said Noxian is already on his way to them.
"I'll try to stall him." Garen murmured to them before facing Darius, who mysteriously appeared before him with a mere three inches serving as a gap between them. Garen instantly felt uncomfortable. "Umm… Ahem. Ever heard of personal space, Noxian?"
"No." Darius deadpanned once again before smirking, thinking he's unsettling the Demacian. Well, he certainly was! "Why? Does it make you feel… uncomfortable?"
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A few minutes had already passed in mere awkward silence, and finally, Garen broke the silence and said, "I don't know how to respond to that."
"You just did."
"Umm…"
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…..
"Darius,"
"What?"
"Are you gay?"
Darius' eyes flared in rage, grabbing the front of Garen's armor. "Don't provoke me, Demacian!"
Garen stared.
And stared.
And stared.
"I'll take that as a maybe."
"What do you want, Darius?" Caitlyn finally interjected, after watching everything unfold before her in amusement and feeling quite weirded out by the turn of the conversation.
"Hmph." Darius practically shoved Garen out of the way. "Have you seen any ponies around here?"
Caitlyn feigned a confused expression. "Ponies?"
"Yes, Pinkie Pie told me I should ask you."
"Umm, pardon me for asking, but," Caitlyn cleared her throat. "Who is Pinkie Pie?"
Darius took the supposedly stuff toy in his arm and lifted it up with two hands.
"This," He introduced with a proud expression. "is Pinkie Pie."
Caitlyn's eyes widened when she recognized who exactly Pinkie Pie is, while Garen's jaw was practically on the floor when he realized who it was as well. Said little pony merely uttered one word with a look of desperation in its eyes.
"Help." The pink pony yelped out, an expression of helplessness on her face.
"V-Vi?" Caitlyn stuttered in shock. She was about to stand up when she felt three hooves grab her underwear and threaten to pull it downward if she had proceeded in abandoning her 'post'. She released a yelp of surprise in response to the action.
Darius raised an eyebrow, obviously seeing the reaction the Piltovian openly gave. "Why are you yelping?"
Caitlyn blushed profusely. "N-Nothing! I just, got caught on something. That's all."
"And for your information, this," Darius pointed at Vi. "Is not Vi. Her name is Pinkie Pie, and that's it! Nothing else."
Garen approached Darius. "What pony are you even looking for?"
"I'm looking for every type of pony. Alicorn, unicorn, pegasi or normal earth ponies. But, I am specifically looking for a pony that has a yellow mane. I shall name her… Applejack!"
Just like that, a yellow pony was pushed out of Caitlyn's skirt by a red hoof. The yellow pony was still curled up, not knowing that it was already out of its hiding place.
Darius smirked. "Thank you for complying."
"LUX!" Garen screamed.
Lux snapped her head upward, a look of horror instantly appearing on her face. She tried running back under Caitlyn's skirt, but a red hoof prevented her from doing so.
"Ahh…-!" Lux's scream was cut short when Darius suddenly grabbed Lux.
"Come on, now, Applejack!"
"No! No!" Darius slung Lux over his shoulder, along with her side is Vi. "NOOOOO!"
"Hey, wait a minute…-!" When Garen met Darius' death-like glare, he felt like melting on the spot. The anger and danger in his eyes is much more intense than his usual glares. "I-I mean, go ahead."
"NO!" Lux screeched. "HOW COULD YOU!? I TRUSTED YOU, BROTHER!"
Garen pursed his lips in a tight line as he waved goodbye to his little pony sister. "My deepest and sincerest apologies, Luxanna!"
Lux glared at her brother through her teary eyes. "I..! I…! I HATE YOU!"
Garen literally looked like Cassiopeia had used her ultimate on him as he became a stone statue and started cracking on the very spot he stood. Caitlyn sighed as Darius left the lounge with another pony victim in his clutches. She finally got off of the two remaining ponies with them, no resistance stopping her this time. She crossed her arms as she looked at the pair she unveiled.
"Who pushed Lux out of my skirt?"
Katarina instantly pointed at Ashe. "I tried stopping her, but she told me it was the 'survival of the fittest'."
Ashe looked at her in disbelief. "What!?"
Caitlyn looked at her with a deadpan expression. "I would have believed you if it was Sejuani you're pointing at."
"Just because I'm a Noxian…-!"
"Don't pin this whole thing on me!" Ashe said, lightly glaring at Katarina.
"Well, it was you!"
"No, it was not!"
"Yeah, it was!"
"Question," Garen suddenly spoke, capturing the trio's attention. What they saw was the Might of Demacia oozing bloodlust like a true Noxian. "Who has a red hoof?"
Katarina suddenly shunpo'd out of her seat. Everyone thought Katarina wasn't coming back until she abruptly appeared again with a bucket of red paint. She grabbed Ashe's front hooves and dipped it into the paint.
"Ah-ha!" She then pointed at Ashe's wet hooves. "I knew it! It was her!"
Caitlyn and Garen sweat-dropped, the anger of the Demacian diminishing as soon as he saw his rival perform idiotic skit in front of them.
Ashe, who merely looked at her hooves, turned her gaze to the Noxian. "Really?"
"As you can see," Katarina showed her own red hooves. "I have blue…-"
Ashe shook the red paint off of her hooves. "Uh-huh. You forgot the blue paint."
Katarina was momentarily silent before she gradually began to turn around. "Wait for just a moment."
"Oh, no, you don't!" As soon as Ashe tackled Katarina, they both disappeared in the redhead's shunpo, leaving Garen and Caitlyn staring at the red bucket of paint.
…..
…..
…..
Garen turned to Caitlyn.
"What do we do now?"
xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx
Darius whistled as he walked down the hall, lightly tugging on two leashes attached to the two ponies he has held captive against their wills. Vi kept on biting the leash, hoping to rip it off, while Lux merely walked with her head bowed lowly in depression.
"Applejack, why so sad?" Darius asked, looking quite concerned with his little apple.
"Nothing that concerns you." Lux grouched, turning her head away from Darius.
"I thought you'd be much different from Pinkie Pie here. She has an attitude problem, you see."
"Hell yeah, I do!" Vi shouted, gnawing on the fine leather leash harder than before.
"Well, we're…-"
Before Darius could finish, a puff of smoke came and just like that, the three of them looked at a blue pony strangling a red one.
"Trying to pin your crime against the Queen of Freljord? I think not!"
"Ack! Kah!" Katarina could only choke out, doing her best to breathe while she tried hitting Ashe with her hind hooves uselessly.
Ashe suddenly froze, when she realized that someone is actually watching them. And that someone is…
"D-D…!"
Ashe dropped Katarina on the floor.
Katarina breathed out a lungful of air. "I CAN BREATHE! I can finally breathe again!"
"Darius!?" Ashe squeaked out, now trembling in horror.
Katarina's eyes widened when she heard her fellow Noxian's name. Turning around, she stiffened as she looked at Darius' blank face.
"Hey!" She greeted with a wave of a hoof. "How's it going, Darius?"
Step by step, Katarina backed away from Ashe's side. "Funny seeing you here!"
Ashe copied her movements, while saying, "I believe it's all in our best interest that we pretend this little meet-up didn't happen, yes?"
"Soooo, we'll do us, and you do you, and we won't do each other… Probably."
Vi stopped gnawing on her leash and pointed a hoof at Katarina. "That's a good poem right there. Hey, Lux. You have a pen?"
Lux stared at Vi and said, "Pervert."
"What? Cupcake would love that." Vi said, momentarily forgetting their situation.
At this point, Darius immediately grabbed the two new ponies by their tail, while the two said ponies froze when this happened. They both spoke in unison.
"We'll take that as a no, then."
Next thing they knew, they were lifted in the air and were suddenly slung on the back of the pony-obsessed Noxian like a sack of potatoes.
"This is gonna be fun." Katarina muttered sarcastically.
"Oh, please," Ashe scoffed. "What could he do to us?"
Darius laughed. "Just you wait, Rarity! I'll pretty you up just the way you like it."
All four of the ponies exchanged glances as they wondered who in Runaterra could 'Rarity' be.
"Umm, who's Rarity?" Lux asked innocently, tugging on Darius' red cape.
Darius smiled and nodded his head to Ashe's direction, while Katarina commented with a mocking smirk.
"She's more of a 'Snowflake' rather than a 'Rarity'."
Ashe shivered violently.
Darius then stopped in his tracks and started beaming at that given name as he said, "Brilliant idea, Plumpy Strawberry!"
Katarina immediately froze, while Ashe smiled mockingly.
"Oh, I wonder who could 'Plumpy Strawberry' be."
The redhead instantly glared thousands of daggers at the Queen of Freljord as she said two simple words. "Fuck you."
Realization then dawned to her.
She stomped a hoof on Darius' shoulder plate.
"ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT!?"
"Of course not!" Darius reassured. "You're just really really really jolly."
The smile on Darius practically said 'I mean every word', which Katarina clearly didn't believe.
"Am I really fat?" Katarina whispered to herself, looking down on herself.
Ashe rolled her eyes. "We're about to be tied with a leash like a bunch of wild animals, and you're still worried about your body weight!?"
"Hey!" Katarina pointed a hoof on the archer. "No one asked for your opinion!"
The three ponies now sat on Darius' wide bed, all of them dressed in cute clothes and all of their manes styled to perfection. Ashe is still being 'prettied up' by Darius and has yet to wear her new dress, since the Noxian himself is still styling her white mane.
Katarina leaned over to Vi and whispered, "I'm starting to think Darius is a closet Noxian version of Taric."
"Brother may have been onto something." Lux commented lowly, too low for Darius, who is still styling Ashe's mane, to hear.
"I'm more scared on the fact why he even has these cosmetics!" Ashe grunted out as Darius brushed out a knot in her mane painfully, obviously hearing their conversation.
"Why am I not surprised?" Vi muttered, blowing her side bangs for the umpteenth time.
Katarina and Lux looked at her weirdly.
"Why?" Came the chorused question.
"Every time I pass by his room, I always hear him singing," Vi then stood on her hind legs and did her best to imitate a dancing Darius. "My Little Pony~! My Little Pony~!"
As Vi sang and twirled, Darius heard her and saw how she twirled around in the most adorable way possible.
"Pinkie Pie! That's the spirit!" Darius cheered on with a wide smile.
Vi's eyes widened. "What!? I'm not encouraging you! I'm mocking you!"
Darius chuckled. "Haha! Don't be shy! You're Pinkie Pie, not Fluttershy, remember?"
Lux covered her mouth with her front hooves, stifling her laughter, while Katarina was rolling at the background, laughing and stomping her hooves.
"Oh, God! That's just rich!" Katarina laughed. "I didn't realize you were a fan of MLP!"
Vi, Lux and Ashe turned their heads to Katarina, who has just finished recovering from her laughing fit.
"What is MLP?" The three asked in confusion.
Katarina literally froze as if she was hit with Sejuani's ultimate. Slowly, she straightened up and cleared her throat, reflexively arranging the red bow on her mane Darius had put on her earlier.
"MLP is, uhh…"
Katarina wracked her brain for an answer. She can't really tell these three that she actually watches it, she's just not that obsessed with it.
She means, if Freljordians have a guilty pleasure of watching 'Game of Demacians', Demacians love watching the famous 'Ionia's Survivor', Ionians absolutely adore 'Freljord's Next Top Ruler', and Piltovian's are always updated when it comes to 'Noxian Is The New Demacian', then why can't Noxians have their own?
Even those who live in Bandle City, the Yordles? They're extreme fans of the show sponsored by the Institute of War, which is titled 'Champion Time'.
"MLP means…"
And then, an idea hit her like Jinx's Super Mega Death Rocket.
"My Large Penis."
The trio sweat-dropped, while Darius looked at Katarina in horror that could match Taric's own horrified face.
"No, no, NO!" Darius practically screamed, not wanting to hear anything obscene from his cute and supposedly innocent little ponies.
When Darius yelled, he was holding a pair of scissors that he was using to trim and style the Freljordian pony's mane, which he accidentally used to cut off more than half of Ashe's mane unevenly. Ashe's eyes widened when she saw the white mane fall on the floor.
"Is…" She pointed a hoof at the strands of the white mane that was once hers. "Is that my hair?"
Darius ignored her and said, "MLP means, My Little Po-…AHH!"
Darius looked down at Ashe in utter horror, realizing what he has done. "Oh my god! Snowflake! I'm so sorry!"
Ashe, who looks like she's trying her best not to cry, merely raised a trembling hoof as a form of a make-shift thumbs up. "All is good."
Darius panicked as soon as he saw the expression on his little snowflake's face. He grabbed a bunch of Ashe's cut off mane and abruptly stood up, darting to the door, but not before turning to them and saying, "I'll be right back! I know somebody who can help!"
Lux's face twisted in confusion. "Who in the League could even help…-"
Darius swung the door open and ran out, his arms flailing in the air as he screamed and shouted a champion's name. "SORAKAAAA!"
Silence.
…..
…..
…..
…..
…..
"Well," Katarina sat down on the bed. "Now we know who."
Couple of seconds later, Vi brought up the previous subject mentioned earlier.
"So, what does MLP stand for again?" She asked with total confusion and innocent curiosity.
At that point, Ashe started crying, practically bawling her eyes out in her hooves. Lux approached Ashe and rubbed her back as a form of comfort. "There, there."
Vi then asked again, "What does MLP mean again? As in, seriously."
"OH! WOULD YOU JUST DROP IT ALREADY!?" Katarina snapped all of a sudden.
Vi scooted a step away from the assassin, looking away and asking herself a question.
"Was it something I said?"
xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
"Soraka! SORAKA!" Darius screamed from outside the door.
Inside the room, Soraka, Janna and Veigar sat on the couch in front of a television, watching the animated movie, Frozen.
"I totally swear this could be Lissandra from her past life." Janna said before popping a popcorn in her mouth.
"Indeed, and Anna could actually be Ashe, and Sejuani is the male version of Hans."
Soraka and Janna nodded with Veigar's words.
"SORAKA!"
The Starchild sighed, handing the bowl of popcorn to her Yordle friend. "I'll get the door."
Darius banged on the wooden door repeatedly until Soraka finally opened it. To say the least, Soraka was quite surprised to see Darius looking frantic.
"Darius?"
"Soraka, can you help me attach this back to my pony?" Darius then raised a handful of Ashe's white mane.
Soraka stared at Darius.
...
...
...
"You interrupt me from watching my favorite movie because your stuffed toy's fur got cut off!?"
"No!" Darius answered. "Snowflake is not a toy! Second, she looked like she was about to cry! I need you to fix her mane and...-!"
SLAM!
Soraka walked back to where Janna and Veigar are and sat back down between them. She looked at the TV screen and...
"Damn it! I missed the part where Elsa sings Let It Go!"
"We could always rewind...-!" Janna's words were cut short.
"No! NO! It's gone! The moment's gone! It's not the same anymore!"
The Storm's Fury sighed. "This is the thirteenth time we've watched this, you know. We could always re...-!"
"I told you! It's not the same!"
Veigar cleared his throat to capture their attention.
"WHAT!?"
"Why don't you just Let It Go?" Veigar asked, snickering.
...
"Soraka, no!"
Janna immediately grabbed Soraka before the Starchild could choke the living daylight out of the Tiny Master of Evil.
xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx
Ashe is still crying, Lux is still comforting Ashe, Vi is still asking what the hell does MLP mean and lastly, Katarina had just realized something of great importance.
The door… was open.
Katarina jumped off the bed and trotted to the door. She started waving a hoof at her companions. "Hey, guys."
"For the twentieth time!" Vi practically whined. "WHAT DOES MLP MEAN!?"
Lux finally blew her lid off. "DOES IT MATTER!? JUST SHUT UP!"
"Guys."
"I JUST WANT TO KNOW! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!?"
"IT'S NOT EVEN IMPORTANT!"
"WHY ARE WE SCREAMING!?" Ashe joined in on their shouting fest.
"WE DON'T KNOW!" Vi and Lux chorused back.
"GUYS!" Katarina finally shouted.
All three ponies turned to Katarina.
Katarina simply gestured at the open door.
"He left the door open." She stated in an 'as a matter of fact' manner.
…..
…..
…..
The three ponies stood there in silence before a gust of wind opened the door and next thing Katarina knew, she was alone in the room.
She cursed under her breath. "Should've just left when I got my chance."
With that, she trotted out of Darius' room as if she owned the whole hall she walked in. (Like a boss!)
xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx
Author's Note: This is my attempt in comedy, readers. Bear with me. xD Anyway, this has been on Wattpad for quite a while now, but this one is more updated and edited than the one there. I actually plan on deleting it there and just continuing it here. Act 2 is already under diting, so expect it soon. :3
This was a long-time request of my brother, so after we had a trade of some sort, I finally agreed to continue this little story that he loves so much. :P
Credits of the Pony Vi story cover goes to the artist named vingamena. Just saw his/her art in Google and thought it would be perfect for this story. ^^
References in this fic's chapter are:
- My Little Pony (duh xD)
- Game of Thrones (Game of Demacians)
- America's Next Top Model (Freljord's Next Top Ruler)
- Survivor (Ionia's Survivor)
- Orange is the New Black (Noxian Is The New Demacian)
- Adventure Time (Champion Time)
- Soraka being a fan of Frozen (Inspired by "The Institute of Love and Lies" by Creator0fWords. Check out the fic in this site! It's awesome! OuO)
- Lissandra having cat ears (fanarts mostly :3)
- Ashe freaking out when she was turned into a pony (Brother Bear scene)