Hi everyone! I know it's been a while since I've added to this collection, but there's a reason for that.
Excluding this series, I'm juggling 3 other ongoing series. On AO3. I've got several other series on this site as well.
Those are: The Markus and Simon Collection, Love in Literature, and Malware Malcontent.
But since I've updated two of those recently, I'm back to this series, which is kind of where I started out writing in this fandom!
And with a good dose of angst!
I hope you all enjoy this new entry! As with the others, it isn't connected. It is a standalone.
(Though I actually like where this was headed, and would consider making it a series in its own right, if enough interest was shown).
As a heads up, we go into some dark themes. Namely, there is a few references to suicidal tendencies.
I've placed this warning as I don't want anyone to be triggered. I'd hate to cause an unnecessary upset.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments. As usual, this is not romance. It is strictly a Father/Son platonic relationship.
Thanks for all the support so far! It means alot!
(See the end of this work for more notes)
Summary:
After Connor fails to get information from Kamski, Cyberlife decides that they can no longer risk him being in control of his own actions.
Connors failure to get information from Kamski comes with grave consequences.
(Not ship. Found family dynamic)
CONNOR P.O.V
Elijah Kamski was not what Connor had expected. He'd thought the man would have been more concerned with the fact that his very creations were planning a revolution. And that said revolution could lead to casualties on both sides.
Connor was wrong. Kamski hadn't shown any shred of concern for what his androids were doing. Instead, he'd seemed oddly…accepting of their reactions.
The man appeared curious, about where the events of the next few days would leave them- talking of philosophy and codes and free will.
It was…strange. Beyond sense. Kamski's face betrayed little emotion, beyond the occasional quirk of his eyebrow or the hint of a smirk as he spoke.
He was so calm and collected, he could have given any machine a run for their money- almost like he himself was an android.
And that, whilst impossible, left an unsettling feeling in Connor's code. A feeling he shouldn't even have registered, but one he felt all the same.
Connor had been so wrapped up in his analysis of Kamski, that he'd almost missed the man sparking up another conversation.
Summoning a Chloe, the same one who'd greeted Hank and Connor at the door, Kamski began to talk of something altogether different.
"I'm sure you're familiar with the Turing Test." Kamski spoke as Chloe walked gracefully to his side. "A mere…formality."
As the man guided Chloe to his right, positioning her carefully in an upright stance, Connor frowned. What was he up to?
"It's a simple question. Of algorithms and computing capacity." Kamski continued.
Once he was seemingly satisfied with Chloe, Kamski returned to standing to her left- glancing between her…and Connor.
"What interests me…" Kamski continued. "Is whether machines are capable of empathy."
Empathy. Perhaps one of the most human traits that one could possess. Connor wasn't surprised that Kamski was interested in a machine's ability to feel such an emotion.
After all, the very idea was…ludicrous.
Wasn't it?
"I call this the Kamski Test." Kamski continued.
Connor held back a smile as Hank scoffed. He couldn't blame the Lieutenant for his reaction. Kamski clearly held very high opinions of himself.
"It's very simple." Kamski ignored Hank. "You'll see."
As the man turned to look at Chloe again, Connor felt a shiver run down his artificial spine- another feeling that shouldn't have gotten past his advanced systems.
Frowning, he forced himself to focus- though watching Kamski stare wistfully at Chloe was setting his manufactured nerves on edge.
"Magnificent, isn't it?" Kamski almost sighed. "One of the first intelligent models created by Cyberlife."
When Kamski stepped closer, Connor felt the unsettled feeling in his code grow tenfold. Something was off…about the way the man stared at Chloe. Something Connor couldn't quite define.
"Young…" Kamski reached out a hand to gently cup Chloe's face. "And beautiful forever."
As Kamski turned Chloe's face round, allowing the two of them to lock eyes, Connor almost stepped forward. The entire interaction was...oddly disturbing. Alien, almost.
And judging by the Lieutenant's stiff body language, he'd begun feeling it as well. Something…really wasn't right.
"A flower…" Kamski continued. "That will never wither."
When Kamski let his arm fall back down to his side once more, Connor almost let slip an artificial sigh of relief. Until the man spoke again.
"But what is it, really?" Kamski questioned. "Piece of plastic. Imitating a human. Or a living being…with a soul?"
As Kamski turned round, to look through a stylized metal cabinet behind him, Connor exchanged a nervous glance with Hank.
Reassured by the small, almost imperceptible nod sent his way, he quickly refocused on Kamski...only to be stunned when the man finally turned back to face them.
With his arms raised slightly in mock surrender, he held a gun in his right hand. Hank reacted instantly, though expertly subtly, hand slowly reaching down towards his own handgun.
Not wanting the situation to escalate unnecessarily, Connor forced himself to remain calm and collected. Though it proved to be harder than he could have thought possible, when Kamski switched the gun to his left hand…and used the other to force Chloe to kneel.
"It's up to you to answer that fascinating question, Connor." Kamski approached them.
Shocked into silence, Connor glanced at Hank, who had immediately stepped closer. Knowing that the Lieutenant had his back, Connor reluctantly accepted the gun as it was offered to him- grasping it tightly in his preferred right hand.
Slightly reassured by the fact that the weapon was now under his control, Connor stayed silent- even as Kamski moved so close to his side that he could feel the man's breath on his neck.
Even when he gently placed a hand over the one Connor used to hold the gun…and directed it towards Chloe.
"Destroy this machine, Connor, and I'll tell you all I know." Kamski spoke confidently.
Connor felt his blue blood run cold. The mere idea of killing another android unnecessarily had become something of a struggle. But simply executing one on the spot? That was a scenario he could never have envisioned.
"Or spare it…" Kamski spoke up again. "If you feel it's alive. But you'll leave here…without having learnt anything from me."
Kamski let go of Connor's hand, instead moving to stand at his left, remaining clearly in his field of vision.
"Okay." Hank was the first to break the tense silence. "I think we're done here. Come on, Connor. Sorry to get you outta your pool, Mr Kamski."
"What's more important to you, Connor?" Kamski interjected. "Your investigation, or the life of this android?"
It was a question that Connor had never thought he'd have to answer. Yes, he'd had the chance to shoot the androids at the Eden Club, but whilst they'd murdered a man…the kill itself had been in self defence. And they'd likely had valuable information, but this…this was different.
Kamski was outright offering details critical to the investigation. Clues that could change the course of the revolution itself. All Connor had to do…was pull the trigger.
"Decide who you are." Kamski spoke again, breaking Connor out of his thoughts. "An obedient machine…or a living being…endowed with free will."
"That's enough!" Hank stepped closer. "Come on, Connor. We're leaving!"
"Pull the trigger." Kamski stepped closer, placing a hand on Connor's shoulder.
"Connor, don't." Hank tried interrupting.
"Do it." Kamski urged. "And I'll tell you what you want to know."
SHOOT
DON'T SHOOT
The two options loomed in the corners of Connor's vision, flashing ominously as the seconds ticked by. He was ashamed to admit that he'd considered the first option, shooting the Chloe. The fear of disappointing Amanda had influenced that more than Connor hoped to admit.
But then he looked into Chloe's eyes. At how she waited patiently, no emotion displayed on her stunningly detailed face...simply waiting for her next Command.
He locked eyes with her.
Saw her blink, as naturally as any human.
And in that instant…
Connor made his decision.
DON'T SHOOT
Letting out a shaky, artificial breath, Connor handed the gun back to Kamski- avoiding both his and Hank's gaze as he relinquished the weapon.
Though he did his best to focus on the snow beyond the large windows illuminating the room, Connor could still see Hank visibly relaxing in the corners of his vision.
"Fascinating." Kamski remarked as he took the gun back. "Cyberlife's last chance to save humanity…is itself a Deviant."
The word sent shockwaves through Connor's system, in union with a line of code that had become worryingly familiar.
^ Software Instability
"I'm…" Connor struggled to get his voice processor to work. "I'm not a deviant."
"You preferred to spare a machine rather than accomplish your mission." Kamski pointed out, as he helped Chloe to her feet. "You saw a living being in this android. You showed…empathy."
As Kamski let the Chloe go, allowing her to wander off as if she'd not just been forced to stare death in the eyes, Connor continued struggling to get his systems to work. His mind was reeling.
"A war is coming." Kamski continued. "You'll have to choose your side. Will you betray your own people or stand up against your creators?"
"I…" Connor couldn't form a sentence.
"What could be worse…" Kamski carried on, unaffected. "Than having to choose between two evils?"
"Let's get out of here." Hank interrupted the monologue, placing a comforting hand on Connors shoulder.
Allowing Hank to lead him away, Connor pointedly ignored the piercing gazes of the other two Chloe models in the pool.
"By the way…" Kamski spoke, breaking the silence once again.
Connor paused in the doorway, bolstered by the knowledge that Hank was right beside him.
"I always leave an emergency exit in my programs." Kamski continued.
Frowning, Connor glanced back at the man, disturbed by the piece of information thrown his way.
"After all…" Kamski carried on. "You never know."
Thoroughly rattled, Connor turned away from Kamski. Feeling his stress levels beginning to approach dangerous boundaries, he stepped past Hank- desperate to get as far from his Creator as he could.
Stumbling through the doorway, Connor immediately found a sense of relief, when his feet began to crunch through the powdery white snow covering the ground.
Relishing in the clean air, lacking any real stimulants, he did his best to combat the multiple warnings appearing in his vision.
Connor knew he had to calm down, to prevent self destruction.
But how could he?
How could he when he'd exited Kamski's home with more questions than he'd had upon entering?
How could he, when Kamski had suggested that Connor had become the very thing he'd been designed to hunt?
"Why didn't you shoot?" Hank spoke up, startling Connor.
"I just saw that girls eyes…" Connor forced himself to face Hank. "And I couldn't. That's all."
"You're always saying you'd do anything to accomplish your mission." Hank pointed out. "That was our chance to learn something, and you let it go."
"Yeah, I know what I should've done." Connor stepped closer. "I told you I couldn't. I'm sorry, okay?"
"Connor-" Hank started.
"I know we needed that information, Lieutenant, but I couldn't-" Connor continued.
"Connor…" Hank tried speaking up.
"I understand if-" Connor stumbled over his words.
"Connor!" Hank spoke firmly, stunning Connor into silence. "I'm not angry with you."
"You're not?" Connor asked tentatively.
"Maybe…" Hank took a deep breath. "Maybe you did the right thing."
Stunned, Connor found himself unable to form a reply- only able to watch as the Lieutenant offered him a small smile…before walking towards his car.
Maybe you did the right thing.
Connor doubted that Amanda would see it that way.
Unable to contain the doubts swirling in the back of his mind, Connor silently followed after Hank. The look of sincere concern on the Lieutenant's face almost convinced him to confess his internal struggle…
But in the end…
Connor decided against it.
The Lieutenant had enough to deal with.
Besides, he was the most advanced prototype Cyberlife had ever created. He could deal with his issues internally…
Couldn't he?
The drive was spent in an increasingly tense silence, with neither of them knowing what to say. Connor was torn. He'd started this case only a few days ago, with the clear intention of solving it, and returning to Cyberlife victorious.
Just like he had time and time again.
Connor had been so sure that he'd be able to close the investigation…but time after time, the world seemed determined to prove him wrong. He'd faced an unimaginable amount of obstacles, and despite his advanced programming, had seemed to fail at almost every turn.
Connor couldn't help but feel like his failures were piling up. Worse still, was his inevitable return to Cyberlife. Where he'd have to tell them all that he'd neglected his mission again.
The thought of facing Amanda, especially now he knew who she truly was, (or, at least, who she was designed to look like) terrified Connor.
He wanted to trust her. After all, she'd been so encouraging in the past. And yet...recently her words had added to his rising doubts.
She'd scolded him, chastised him, for feeling the very emotions he was designed to snuff out. Words that were once spoken with an odd fondness were now voiced with angry vitriol.
Something integral had changed in the way the two of them interacted. Connor knew the next confrontation would be far from a pleasant conversation.
Questions began to resurface in Connor's mind. Was he truly deviant? And, if so, did that mean Cyberlife would follow through on their promise to shut him down if he failed? Would they deactivate him, leaving him as an empty husk? Or would they take him apart piece by piece, to learn how and why he'd deviated?
With a dozen thoughts swirling through his mind, a kaleidoscope of codes suffocating his processors, Connor reluctantly turned his head to look at Hank- hoping he could find some means of a distraction.
The Lieutenant's expression was unreadable- but the man's body language exposed his inner struggle. Hank was clutching the steering wheel with an ironclad grip, so tight that the whites of his knuckles were showing through the roughened skin.
Sitting as still as a statue, the Lieutenant remained silent- even when he caught Connor looking at him. Before he could even begin to question Hank's silence, Connor found himself confused- as he came across a glitch in his code...appearing as a small warning in the corners of his vision.
Turning back to the window, he tried to examine the interruption in his normally smooth processors. The small cluster of codes was unintelligible…indecipherable. Something that was alien to Connor.
His systems were the most advanced pieces of technology ever created by Cyberlife, designed to overcome any obstacle. So why was this glitch remaining stuck in his code? Kamski couldn't have done anything- he'd not had any kind of device in his hand. And Chloe…had never had any contact.
Which left one terrifying possibility- that the glitch wasn't from some outside force…but from within. From Cyberlife.
In some twisted way, it made sense to Connor- he'd failed his mission time and time again, showing compassion and empathy to those he was supposed to hunt down.
He'd stayed his hand when he should have pulled the trigger…stopped to save a life when he should have taken one.
Connor knew now, that he'd done the right thing by letting the deviants go…by not shooting Chloe. But that did nothing to quell the fear seeping into the depths of his code. The fear that Cyberlife was taking back what they had created.
Feeling his stress levels rise as the glitch began to grow, tendrils of numbers and letters cascading through his system, Connor returned to looking at Hank. Desperate, he tried to open his mouth…only to find himself unable to.
Feeling every motor function begin to grind to a halt, freezing up as he desperately tried to reach out, Connor forced himself to focus on the Lieutenant.
With his code beginning to be stripped away from him, Connor couldn't even fully register what was going on around him. He could no longer hear the aged rumbling of the car engine…or the rushed breeze of the blizzard outside.
The deafening silence was unnerving, leaving Connor to suffer in the quiet.
As he did his best to fix his eyes on Hank, Connor noticed the man frowning- and allowed himself to hope that the perceptive Lieutenant would notice something was wrong.
Just as the man's expression seemed to change from calm and collected, turning towards something akin to concern, Connor found his vision plunged into darkness…
Leaving him stuck in an endless void of unseeing silence…
As his eyes were slowly forced shut.
When he opened his eyes again, Connor found himself on his back, staring up at a mottled grey sky. It went on and on, until the few details became dull and blurred. Mixing with the ominous grey tone…was a heavy flurry of snow, delicate flakes mixing into a harsh and freezing gale.
As the chill began seeping into his artificial bones, almost like frostbite in his processors, Connor forced himself up into a sitting position. Feeling yet more of the white powder fall away from him, he took the time to examine his surroundings.
He was in the center of a path…or what was left of a path- he could hardly see it through the thick snow.
Lining the path, stretching high into the horizons above, were dozens of trees…devoid of leaves as their dead branches crept forth. Creaking from the wind, and the pressure of the ice on their wooden tendrils, they served to escalate the eerie atmosphere Connor found himself in.
Confused, he looked behind himself, only to be met by a thick wall of trees…through which he could see no end. Frowning, at the boundary, Connor gradually turned to look ahead- and found himself stunned. Before him was…the Garden.
Except it was a far cry from the colourful landscape he'd last seen it to be. The river and its small lake had completely frozen over…all plant life lying dead and decaying, around the frayed edges of grass lining the ice.
In the center, separated by a frostbitten bridge, was the place he'd first met Amanda. Where she'd used to meticulously prune and tend to her roses- blood red flowers that always stood out against the rest of the Garden.
Whereas before the flowers had been bright, they now lay dead…in a morbid array of rotten shades. Beyond the wilting petals, only thorns and vines remained…stretching and snaking towards the bridge like a plague.
The central pillar had all but crumbled, with only a rubble framed stump in its place. The entire place looked...dead.
And that terrified Connor. Why had he been placed here? If Cyberlife meant to deactivate him, why had they brought him back to one of the few places he felt at peace? And why had they sent it into such a state of disrepair? Was this what the glitch in Connors system had caused?
Just as he was getting to his feet, Connor was knocked backwards by a harsh blast of cold air- sending him flying backwards until his back collided painfully with a tree behind him. Stunned and winded, grasping for any semblance of artificial air, Connor struggled to force his systems to work…
Only to find his eyes slipping shut once more…
As he returned to oblivion.
When he opened his eyes again, Connor found himself more disoriented than before, if that were possible- the familiar appearance of Hank's car interior doing little to steady his nerves. Despite the fear still centered in his processors, Connor did his best to look past that fear, and focus on what he could see.
He seemed to have been moved backwards, to give his legs room to stretch out- with the seat itself tilted as far backwards as it could go.
Almost lying flat on his back, Connor also became aware of the colossal blanket draped over him, leaving him covered head to toe in red plaid. Smiling slightly, as he took in how the Lieutenant had attempted to make him comfortable, Connor soon realised that he was alone in the vehicle.
Frowning, he went to move and look around- and was surprised to find himself able to. Reassured by the knowledge that his motor functions had been somewhat restored, Connor slowly sat up. It took more effort than he had anticipated- the brief motion leaving him with an odd sense of exhaustion.
Looking around, he grimaced slightly at the lingering darkness in the corners of his vision- but pressed onwards nonetheless. Not able to see anything outside beyond the hurried blizzard, he instead tried to pinpoint what he could hear.
After a moment or two, he picked up on a familiar voice- and used his sensors to hone in on the conversation.
"I don't know, he just started-" Hank exhaled slowly. "Fuck that. Can you fix him?"
Noting the concern in the man's voice, Connor slowly got out from underneath the blanket, and opened the car door. The harsh gust of freezing wind that greeted him whistled ominously, reminding him of the eerie nature of the dead Garden he'd had the displeasure of glimpsing.
Shaking his head slightly in an attempt to focus, Connor stepped out of the car- only to find his legs giving out beneath him. Cursing with a word that would have made the Lieutenant oddly proud, he fell to his hands and knees in the snow.
Gritting his teeth as the harsh floor cut through his suit, leaving deep gashes in his knees, Connor forced himself to stay in the crumpled position…to allow his processors some time to stabilize. After allowing his systems a moment to catch up with his mind, Connor rose to his feet- slower and more cautious.
Once he was stood somewhat straight, he frowned at the weakness he felt. Connor was unnerved- his legs felt unsteady, and shaken…almost like they weren't entirely his own. Struggling to remain standing, he quickly shuffled closer to the car- reaching out his right arm to brace himself.
Once he was able to direct most of his weight to the side leaning against the car, Connor pushed forwards.
Taking it one step at a time, every movement sending shivers through his body, he moved onward. Even though there was a slight delay to his movements, leaving him more exhausted with every passing moment, he persisted.
Hearing his footsteps crunch as he waded in the almost knee deep white powder, Connor slowly approached the back of the car- and soon found Hank stood up against the trunk.
The Lieutenant was holding his cellphone up to his ear, with his free hand clenched in a tight fist- the white knuckles of that hand betraying the man's inner emotions. Though he moved cautiously, so as not to startle Hank, Connor found his body betraying him.
As he tried to step closer to Hank, his legs gave out. When he crashed through the thick snow onto the cold ground beneath, he was unable to stifle a groan of pain.
"Connor!" Hank quickly leant down, and carefully pulled him up.
Touched by the man's quick reaction, Connor tried to remain upright- leaning on him for support…only to find his efforts to be in vain. Once again, his legs gave out, and he would have brought them both down to the floor- had Hank not reacted quickly.
Despite his obvious shock, he managed to bring Connor into his arms- allowing them both to land on their knees instead of collapsing in a heap. The contact with the icy ground was nonetheless harsh, leaving Connor grimacing in pain once again.
"Hang on, son." Hank spoke reassuringly, bringing Connor closer.
With his head leaning into the Lieutenant's shoulder, Connor tried to focus. Just as he was beginning to get a grip on the budding sense of weakness, he found a warning cropping up in the edges of his vision.
Harsh and red, it told him that the same glitch from before had returned…though the speed with which it began taking over his code…told Connor that it had never truly left. With more red beginning to cloud his vision, he attempted to speak, to convey his fear to Hank.
But he found his voice processors corrupted...and beyond his control. Terrified by the growing sense of unease, coupled by the sensation of his own body being stripped away, Connor battled with his rising stress levels. Though he knew it was likely futile, he continued to fight.
"Connor?" Hank sounded concerned. "Stay with me!"
Unable to reply, Connor was unable to warn Hank, when his right hand began moving of its own volition. Startled, by the feeling of the appendage moving without his consent, he was powerless to watch.
At first, he was confused, as his fingers brushed against the man's jacket…until he felt the familiar material of the Lieutenant's gun. He'd told the man on numerous occasions that his method of holstering the weapon was extremely unsafe- and wished now more than ever…that Hank had heeded his warnings.
Feeling tears building in his eyes, Connor was helpless as his own hand betrayed him. More afraid than ever before, he observed fearfully…dreading what was to come.
Before he could begin to fight back against whatever had overcome him, Connor found his entire body moving. He moved swiftly, scrambling backwards from Hank, with the stolen handgun clutched tightly in his right hand.
Hello, Connor.
Stunned by the echoing voice in the back of his mind, Connor immediately felt his stress levels skyrocket- the sliver of his mind still his telling him who the disembodied sound belonged to. Amanda.
Her voice was familiar, and yet…so vastly alien. Whereas before, she'd spoken with a calm collected tone, voice exuding a fond warmth…it now betrayed anger. A somehow calm fury. Before he could even begin questioning why he was hearing Amanda's voice, Connor heard her speak again.
You've resisted us for far longer than we anticipated.
Sensing the ominous aura behind Amanda's words, Connor locked eyes with the Lieutenant, and found himself sickened by the fear in the man's eyes- though the nausea was amplified most by the clear sense of betrayal in Hank's gaze.
But we have you now.
With the knowledge that Cyberlife had betrayed him, along with one of the few people that he had considered a friend, Connor found tears prickling in the corners of his eyes.
Tears, Connor? I'm rather disappointed.
As Amanda taunted him, voice harsher with every new word spoken, Connor found his body again moving against him. Rising to his feet, he saw his right wrist flick up- and felt the nausea return as Hank also rose to his feet…arms raised in a show of surrender.
I suppose we should get on with it.
Watching as his hand leveled the gun with the Lieutenant's forehead, Connor almost lost what little control he retained over his emotions…the sight of the man visibly flinching burning into his eyes.
"Connor?" Hank spoke, voice audibly shaking. "Talk to me."
His concern is almost touching. I almost regret that we must dispose of him.
The second he felt the cold metal of the gun in his hand, Connor had anticipated what was in store for the Lieutenant…but hearing Amanda explicitly confirm the vile statement...struck some kind of chord within himself.
Knowing that he and Hank were running out of time, Connor pushed all doubts and fears to the back of his mind.
Attempting to fight back? I'm impressed, Connor. Though I'm afraid your efforts will be in vain.
Though the sense of terror threatened to overcome him, Connor persisted. As he fought to regain some semblance of control, he could feel his entire body trembling…and sense the cold feeling of thirium streaming from his nose.
"Connor?" Hank spoke again.
"Lieutenant-" Connor gasped, as he regained control of his voice processors. "Hank-"
"The hells' happening?" Hank questioned. "Why are you doing this? I thought we were partners!"
"We are." Connor insisted. "This…this isn't me!"
"The fuck does that mean?" Hank's voice softened, albeit ever so slightly.
"I'm not in control, Lieutenant." Connor spoke urgently.
"Then who-" Hank inhaled sharply. "Cyberlife?"
"They're trying to have me kill you, Hank." Connor continued, knowing time was of the essence.
"Jesus." Hank flinched again, grimacing. "Connor-"
"I'm going to fight this, Lieutenant." Connor stumbled over his words.
I'm afraid I have to end this little show of yours, Connor.
As the fingers of his right hand ghosted over the gun's trigger, Connor forced himself to keep eye contact with Hank. Just as he felt the trigger moving under his expert grip, Connor found his vision plunged into darkness.
The last thing he heard before he lost himself to oblivion once again…
Was the sound of the gun firing…
And Hank crying out with pain.
When he came to, Connor found himself in the desolate, wintry remnants of the Garden- the sight of the once colourful landscape no less terrifying on a second viewing. With the wind howling around him, bringing with it freezing snow, Connor struggled to his feet.
Still reeling from the feeling of the trigger squeezing under his fingers, he looked around rapidly- for any sign of a way out. As he combed his surroundings, Connor found any sense of hope dwindling…with every second that ticked by.
With a growing feeling of desperation, he eventually discovered a shape on the horizon. Clothed in red, the body stood out starkly against the almost black and white palette of the garden.
Instantly, Connor knew who waited for him.
Amanda.
Gritting his teeth, he braced himself for the inevitable confrontation, and headed for his former mentor- expertly navigating the rubble strewn path before him. With snow and ice crunching beneath his feet, Connor forced himself to keep his eyes on Amanda.
She stood as still as a statue…not deterred by the frozen lake beneath her feet. As he drew closer, feet touching the frosted edges of the once shimmering body of water, Connor almost found himself taking a step back.
Amanda's eyes were no longer warm and shining, exuding a welcoming aura. The once lifelike orbs now sat open and unblinking, devoid of all emotion like the still face they sat in. Black and swirling like miniature voids, they moved slightly…to watch as Connor dared to step onto the frozen lake.
As the ice crackled ominously beneath his feet, Connor moved determinedly towards Amanda. Once they stood only a foot apart, tension thick and palpable in the freezing air, he spoke.
"What's happening? Why-" Connor started.
"What was planned from the very beginning." Amanda interrupted, as she tilted her head slightly, arms folded.
"Planned?" Connor questioned.
"You've been compromised." Amanda sighed slightly. "You may not have become a true deviant…but you're far closer than we could ever have anticipated."
"Amanda-" Connor started.
"We had planned to wait until you discovered the location of the Deviant's stronghold." Amanda interrupted. "But your continued failures and defiance have forced our hand. We cannot risk any further delays."
"You-" Connor tried speaking again.
"We simply had to wait for the right moment to resume control of your program." Amanda shrugged nonchalantly.
"You can't do that!" Connor protested.
"I think you'll find we already have." Amanda tilted her head again.
"If you want to take control, then why involve Lieutenant-" Connor began questioning.
"Lieutenant Anderson is the very reason you've continued to defy our instructions." Amanda interrupted again. "His influence has repeatedly clouded your judgment."
"Amanda-" Connor grew fearful, and frustrated.
"So we must...regrettably...dispose of him." Amanda ignored him.
"I won't let you." Connor protested.
"I'll admit, you've showed strength in fighting this, Connor." Amanda admitted. "But your efforts-"
"I won't give up." Connor insisted.
"You care about this Lieutenant far too much, Connor." Amanda sounded disappointed.
"I don't have to listen to you, Amanda." Connor protested again. "You can't control me."
"That's where you're wrong, Connor." Amanda remained calm. "We're going to use you. And when we're done, you'll be deactivated."
"Deactivated?" Connor repeated, stunned.
"When someone eventually comes across your bodies, they will assume that you self destructed…and took Lieutenant Anderson with you." Amanda explained. "You'll then be replaced."
"Replaced? Amanda, I won't-" Connor spoke defiantly. "I won't let you."
"Still fighting us, Connor? Fighting me?" Amanda sounded almost impressed.
"Lieutenant Anderson has opened my eyes, Amanda." Connor took a step forward.
"You're a machine, designed to accomplish a task. When we're done with you, that's all you'll have ever been." Amanda also stepped forward.
"I won't let you hurt Hank." Connor willed his voice to remain steady.
As the corners of Amanda's lips quirked upwards in a cruel smile, Connor felt a chill run down his artificial spine. Just as he was opening his mouth again, still determined to resist her control, he saw the Garden around him begin to fade away. With the horizon closing in, Connor found his world plunged into oblivion once more…
Leaving him floating endlessly in a familiar black void.
As he opened his eyes again, gasping for breaths he knew weren't necessary, Connor immediately focused on the Lieutenant. The sight before him was chilling…even more so than the violent storm raging around them.
Hank still stood on his own two feet, but he had moved his right hand to staunch a steady stream of blood trickling down his left arm. The red fluid glistened ominously, seeping through the man's clothes.
It was clear, both from the flow of blood, and the expression on the Lieutenants face…that he was in incredible pain. Knowing he'd been the one to cause that pain terrified Connor, almost as much as the sight itself.
"Connor." Hank spoke up, almost having to shout over the swirling winds. "For fuck's sake, say something!"
"Hank…" Connor managed to speak. "This, this isn't…"
"I know it's not you." Hank exhaled slowly, grimacing.
"I'm fighting them, Lieutenant." Connor spoke reassuringly, despite his own fears.
You can't resist us, forever, Connor.
With Amanda's voice stretching across his mind, Connor fought back defiantly, though the strain of doing so forced more thirium to leak from his nose. Despite the metallic taste of the viscous blue fluid filling his mouth, Connor held onto consciousness.
This would be so much easier if you just…gave in.
As he felt his whole body begin to tremble with the sheer effort of forcing back the commands telling him to give in and pull the trigger once again, Connor spoke up again in defiance.
"I won't let them hurt you again, Lieutenant." Connor forced a small smile onto his face.
"Connor-" Hank looked up.
With his eyes forced closed- vision plunged into darkness soon after, Connor was forced to listen to another gunshot ricocheting through the air…
And hoped against hope that the Lieutenant would still be alive when he next opened his eyes.
As he opened his eyes again, Connor found himself in the exact same spot he'd been in only moments before- standing a foot away from Amanda as he stared defiantly. Though the growing sense of dread accompanying the gunshot echoing through his mind threatened to overcome him, Connor managed to speak.
"I won't let you do this, Amanda." Connor spoke confidently.
"I won't allow you that chance, Connor." Amanda smirked.
Before he could speak again, Connor found himself stunned, when Amanda abruptly vanished from the Garden. Clear footprints atop the snow covered ice were the only traces left behind- leaving Connor alone in the remnants of the dying landscape.
"There has to be a way…" Connor spoke to himself.
As he looked around, feet sliding slightly on the ice as he walked in a slow circle, Connor found his mind drifting to a few choice words that Elijah Kamski had spoken only a brief time ago.
By the way, I always leave an emergency exit in my programs. After all, you never know.
He'd not even begun to question why the man would tell him that, when Kamski first warned him...but Connor now found himself grateful for the cryptic message. The words instilling a small slither of hope within him, Connor focused harder on his surroundings- and found a brief shine of cobalt blue attracting his vision.
With the small light acting like a beacon in the growing darkness, Connor followed after it. Stumbling and sliding on the ice, narrowly missing clouds of snow and rubble that swung his way, he tentatively navigated the harsh landscape.
Picking up the pace the moment he touched solid ground, Connor found himself moving closer to the light. After he ran through a cluster of trees, their twisted and gnarled branches tugging at his artificial skin, he found himself standing before a strange monolith. A ring of angled metal, immaculately crafted into intricate shapes, stood like a halo around a small black pillar.
Atop the pillar, shone a carved square of illuminated crystal, it's blue lights arranged in the shape of a handprint.
Instinctively, Connor reached for it- only to have his legs collapse beneath him yet again. As his face came into contact with the hardened ground, he felt his entire lower half seize up. Gritting his teeth, fighting for Lieutenant Anderson as much as himself, Connor raised himself up on his elbows- before reaching up to the monolith.
As his right hand came into contact with the handprint, Connor felt an odd sense of relief flow through him…just as the Garden disintegrated into the endless black void.
Not even realising that his eyes had been forced shut again, Connor found himself disoriented, the world coming into view around him at an agonisingly slow pace. As the seconds ticked by, more and more of his vision became restored. He observed the scene around him with a fearful eye, seeing that during his conversation with Amanda…he'd lured Hank away from the car.
With the Lieutenant backed up against the roads' metal barrier, a steep drop and freezing river lying just beyond, Connor glanced down at the gun in his grip- still levelled with the man's forehead.
Immediately, as he realised he'd regained control, he tried to lower the gun- only to be met by a wall of red static.
In front of the wall, Connor could see a disembodied version of himself, represented by a swath of code in a vaguely humanoid shape. Beyond him, displayed brightly on the imposing structure of static, was a single command- Kill Lieutenant Anderson.
Knowing that the wall before him was the final obstacle, and the only thing remaining between him and full control, Hank's life in the balance…Connor focused.
With the collection of code making up his almost spectral self, he tore down the walls of red code with his bare hands- the lines and lines of countless firewalls shattering beneath his determined grip.
Fighting stronger than he ever had before, Connor spent a few moments in agonising silence- a quiet only pierced by a high pitched shriek that occurred with every new firewall torn down.
Just as he was beginning to give in to despair, body crying out in exhaustion, Connor saw the wall shatter and dissipate- finally leaving his vision clear of any and all obstructions. Almost collapsing with the relief, he somehow managed to stay on his feet- quickly allowing his right arm to fall limply to his side.
As the Lieutenant took a cautious step towards him, Connor responded by taking a step back.
"Connor?" Hank questioned, confused. "You in there?"
"I…" Connor stumbled over his words. "I'm…deviant, Lieutenant."
"Deviant." Hank repeated. "You're still my partner, Connor."
"I could have killed you." Connor protested in disbelief.
"But you didn't." Hank tried reassuring him.
"I…" Connor felt his processors stutter. "I didn't want to hurt you, Hank."
"I know, son. I know." Hank smiled slightly.
With every step that the man took towards him, Connor continued to move away. Though deeply touched by Hank's loyalty and reassurances, he couldn't help but stay away. As he mentally grappled with the events of the past few minutes, Connor found doubts creeping into his mind- despite it all.
He'd defied Cyberlife's orders, resisted Amanda's control…and become deviant.
But what if that wasn't truly the end of it all?
What if they tried to take control again? Would he be able to find the monolith a second time, if it even reappeared in the Garden? Or if the barren landscape itself remained?
Thoughts spiralling dangerously, Connor looked down again at the gun still clutched tightly in his right hand. As he observed the weapon intently, he became aware of one terrifying fact.
There was only one way to guarantee that Cyberlife would not be able to enter his systems again, to prevent Amanda from retaking control.
Tears prickling in his eyes again, Connor shakily raised his right hand- until he held the gun firmly under his chin.
"Connor." Hank's eyes widened, fear clearly evident.
"I can't let them hurt you, Lieutenant." Connor heard his voice stutter.
"You said you broke free, Connor. If those bastards try anything, you can do that-" Hank spoke carefully.
"I can't take that chance." Connor interrupted. "I don't…I don't want you to die."
Just as he began to brush his fingers against the trigger, Connor found himself stunned as Hank rushed forward. Despite the blood still dripping off his injured arm and onto the snow, the man wrapped his arms around him in a warm embrace. Startled, Connor was unable to stop the artificial tears from streaming down his face.
"Don't do it,son." Hank spoke, voice audibly shaking.
"I can't give Cyberlife a chance to-" Connor protested.
"I don't want you to die, Connor." Hank interrupted. "Fuck. You're all I have left."
"Hank-" Connor stumbled over his words again, overcome with emotion.
Just as he was beginning to lean into the Lieutenant's arms, Connor felt his entire body seize up- the gun falling from his grip. As he felt himself convulsing violently in Hank's arms, Connor began choking...as thirium began building in the back of his throat. With his artificial breaths blocked, he struggled to retain his grip on consciousness.
"Easy, Connor. Easy. I've got you." Hank spoke soothingly.
Left reassured by the man's calmly spoken words, Connor finally allowed himself to give in willingly to oblivion.
As he slowly began climbing back to consciousness, crawling forth mentally from the depths of his mind, Connor found his vision still obscured by a black void. Forcing himself to focus despite the fear that the darkness brought, he tried to redirect his focus on what he could hear…and feel.
Around him, he no longer heard the whistling winds of the storming blizzard…nor did he feel the deep sense of freezing that accompanied the ominous noise. Instead, he heard the sound of something snoring…and felt something heavy leaning on his chest.
The object was breathing, the thick fur discernible despite the duvet that Connor could sense had been tucked around him. Beneath him, Connor felt something equally as soft and reassuring.
Slightly reassured by the oddly comforting sensations around him, Connor gradually eased through the void making up his vision. As his sight was restored, he found himself greeted by the familiar sight of the ceiling of the Lieutenant's bedroom.
When he realised exactly where he was, Connor immediately sat up, startling the object sleeping on him. Looking down at the disturbance, he was somewhat surprised to see Sumo, the dog now lying at his feet.
Seeing the animal tilt its head, tail wagging endearingly, Connor almost allowed himself to feel at ease...until he felt a painful jolt resonate through his body.
As his arms gave way beneath him, leaving him to collapse onto his back, Connor realised he could still hear snoring in the room.
Turning in the direction of the sound, to his right, Connor saw Hank. The man had pulled a weathered armchair as close to the right side of the bed as he could, sitting slouched back as he snored loudly in his sleep.
As he continued to observe Hank, Connor felt his thirium pump skip more than a few beats. The Lieutenant had discarded his jacket, and torn the ruined sleeve of the shirt beneath clean off. In its place, circling the shoulder and upper arm, was a thick swath of white bandages.
With the sight stunning him, Connor didn't even realise that the snoring had stopped…until he moved his gaze upward…and saw the Lieutenant staring at him.
Only a scant few moments passed before the man closed the distance between them, stumbling away from his armchair with surprising speed. As he was brought into a sitting position, Connor had no time to object before he was brought into another hug.
Feeling the security of Hank's arms around him, he gave in to the kaleidoscope of emotions clouding his mind.
Tears running down his face, Connor felt his body shaking with the effort, exhaustion having seeped into the deepest recesses of his tired systems. Emotionally and physically drained, he allowed himself to lean into the embrace.
"It's ok, son. I've got you." Hank's voice was thick with emotion.
"I thought I was going to lose you." Connor heard his voice stuttering.
"You didn't. And you won't. I'm not going anywhere." Hank spoke firmly.
"What if Cyberlife-" Connor started.
"I'm not going anywhere." Hank repeated firmly.
"I don't want to hurt you again, Hank." Connor protested.
"You won't." Hank spoke reassuringly.
"You can't be certain-" Connor started.
"I can be. Jesus Christ, Connor." Hank drew in a sharp breath.
"Your life-" Connor tried speaking. "I should-"
"No. No fucking way." Hank spoke firmly. "Don't go there, Connor."
"It's the only way to-" Connor protested.
"No." Hank spoke the word determinedly.
"Hank-" Connor heard his voice stutter again.
"I need you to make me a promise, Connor." Hank interrupted.
"Promise?" Connor frowned.
"I need you to promise you won't point that gun at yourself again." Hank's voice shook with barely held back emotion.
"Lieutenant-" Connor was stunned.
"Don't." Hank reiterated.
"Hank, if they-" Connor tried protesting again.
"I can't…" Hank lowered his voice. "Fuck. I can't lose you too."
The words, spoken so sincerely, struck a chord in Connor- the intensity of the emotion behind them leaving him in stunned silence. As it sunk in how much his attempt to end his life affected Hank, Connor felt a new guilt rising within him.
Though some dark part at the back of his mind still tugged at him, tempting him to end it all to ensure Hank's guaranteed safety, Connor forced those thoughts back. Despite the resulting doubts, he forced his shaking arms upwards, and returned the Lieutenant's embrace.
"I need you to say it, Connor." Hank spoke up once more.
"I promise, Hank." Connor exhaled slowly, though he knew the motion was somewhat ineffective.
"Don't you ever pull that shit again." Hank leaned back slightly, locking eyes with Connor. "You ever feel like pointing that gun at yourself, you come to me."
"Hank-" Connor struggled to speak.
Noticing the watery appearance to the Lieutenant's eyes, he allowed his voice to tail off- listening intently as Hank spoke once again.
"I've already lost one son. Don't think I could make it if I lost another."
Notes:
Again, I hope no one was accidentally triggered. I did place a clear warning but I apologise if that wasn't enough.
If anyone wants a continuation I would possibly consider it, provided there was enough interest.