NOTE: This fic is actually a prequel to "The Alone Diaries", but of course it can be read without reading TAD first.

May contain grammatical and technical errors.

Entry #0

"If you could go back and change one thing about your past, what would it be?"

The voice of a popular idol echoes around the room as she and another popular idol play a game called "7Q" on a variety show. I got accustomed in turning the television on as I do some paper works inside my room. Somehow, with the television on, I feel so relaxed than usual. I guess the stress from being a doctor has taken a toll on me. I rarely go out of town outside of work. I can't even remember the last time I went to a vacation just to have fun and let loose. I even rarely see my best friends from high school, and the only thing I have close to a friend is a stuffed toy I had since I was a little kid.

If you are wondering, despite being in my late 20's, I still live with my parents (which is not a good thing for me). When I was a senior in high school, I pretty much laid out some plans for my future. I would go to a med school, move in my own place, inherit the hospital, travel around the world, save for me future, and get married with her; that was pretty much the plan until I screwed up and had to exclude the last one from the list. Unless marrying yourself is a thing here in Japan, I would be single for the rest of my life – I think.

I let out a sigh. Looking at the clock, it's already past midnight. On normal days, I would go to sleep at 11 pm – but tonight (or rather today?) is special. Since it's already past midnight, then that means today is April 14, 2025 – exactly 14 years since I first met her. When I say "her", I meant Yazawa Nico – my one that got away. Or rather my one whom I slipped away from.

"If you could go back and change one thing about your past, what would it be?"

The question from earlier echoed inside my mind as I stretched my arms, preparing to tidy out and lay on the bed. If I were to go back and change one thing about my past, huh? The answer would be clear as the day. Of course it would be "I wish I did not dump Nico on a Christmas Eve just because I missed the feeling of being free or something". If that kind of thing is possible, I wonder where do I stand now. Am I the same stressed out and almost half-crazy doctor that I am now? Will I be happier than the past few years had I never dump Nico or at least gave our relationship another go when she was making an effort to win me back albeit indirectly?

I felt emotional all of I sudden that I unconsciously kissed my left ring finger which once housed a ring given by Nico on my 17th birthday.

"I know you're wondering why I bought a ring as a birthday present out of all things and got you assorted flowers as well. Well to start off, I don't know what will I get you. I'm aware that your parents throw grand parties every year to celebrate the day your special day. I'm also aware that of course there will be suitors who will give you expensive gifts in order to win your heart – all of those gave me anxiety so I had a hard time choosing the perfect present for you. Compared to the others, I'm dirt poor, still in law school, and only had to work one part time job in order for me to have enough money for a present."

Throughout the course of our relationship, she has this insecurity about her being a "commoner". She had repeatedly said that she could not afford to buy me the finest of things. Nico also said that the only thing she can give me is her undying devotion towards me – something I find silly but never had the chance to tell her. My life with her has always been simple, but it was the happiest phase of my life. I experienced the joy of being in love and being loved by her, something I had thrown away just because of my stupidity and immaturity. Experiencing the slumps and loneliness now, I wish I could go back in time. I want to go back in time where I was the happiest.

I tried to go back…

I tried to go back…

I tried to go back…

The year is 2011. I'm still a freshman at Otonokizaka High School. A school where the student population decreased to the point where rumors spread that the school was facing risk of abolishment. I casually spend my time inside the music room, obviously playing the piano.

The year is 2011 – life was simple back then. I was full of joy that I did not mind where I would end up years after. I was full of smiles because of my friends and because her, because of Nico. The girl whose departure from my life would be the catalyst in me experiencing endless seasons.