It's a World of Heartless

Normally, Riku wasn't surprised when the Heartless showed up. But today had been anything but ordinary.

It was supposed to be a group trip. Mickey had promised to take them all to some amusement park called Disneyland. The place was the stuff of legend, one of the few worlds where the existence of other realms was even acknowledged. And not just acknowledged, but turned into rollercoasters and Merry-Go-Rounds and spinning teacups and other themed rides.

Riku had nothing against the place itself. He'd always liked thrills, so the promise of an entire day spent doing nothing but riding rollercoasters and having fun with his friends was a welcome break from the usual grind.

But then something had come up, some business about a malfunction in the Gummi Ship hangar, and Mickey couldn't go anymore. Neither could Donald or Goofy.

And that was how Riku had ended up at the gates of the self-proclaimed happiest place on earth as an unintentional third wheel to Sora and Kairi's date.

"Sorry, Riku," Sora said, all sheepish apologies even as his hand remained firmly around Kairi's waist. They were wearing one of those awful matching couple costumes. Kairi had on a red dress with white polka dots that she'd paired with bright yellow shoes, and Sora wore a matching suit and bowtie.

They'd tried to get Riku to dress up, too, but he'd refused, for obvious reasons. He was happy for them, he really was, but they were in the gushy, touchy-feely, PDA stage of their relationship, and never had the phrase three's a crowd been more appropriate.

But everyone else had bailed at the last minute, they had these special tickets, and it would hurt Mickey's feelings if he didn't use them. So here he was, and here he would be for the rest of the day.

"Riku, what do you want to ride first?" Kairi asked, ever the diplomatic one as she unfolded the colorful park map and studied it carefully. Riku peered over her shoulder and searched for promising rollercoasters.

"That one looks good," he finally said, pointing at the spot on the map labeled Splash Mountain. Kairi handed him his lanyard with the special pass tucked inside.

"Don't lose this," she instructed. "It's the special pass the King gave us that will let us ride anything any time we want."

When they finally walked through the wrought iron gates, Riku could see why. The place was swarming with people. He was feeling drained just looking at all of them.

Now would be a really bad time for the Heartless to attack, he mused. But just as the park's slogan had promised, everyone was smiling. Families and couples and groups of friends were mulling around them, all happy to be there, all enjoying the perfectly beautiful weather.

Huh. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. The three of them made their way over to Critter Country where Splash Mountain was located, and Riku had to admit that the designs for everything were nice. He really did feel like he'd been transported back into the Old West as they passed through Westernland and saw its promising-looking rollercoaster, Big Thunder Mountain, with its train winding through canyons and deserts and trails.

They were about to get in the special FastPass line for Splash Mountain when Sora pulled them aside, a big grin on his face. He led them over to a pop up stand that was selling souvenir cups and sunglasses and hats and headbands of all shapes and sizes. Plucking a pair of mouse ears with a big red and white polka dot bow off of its hook, he placed it on Kairi's head and smoothed her hair down around it. He took a step backward to survey his handiwork, then nodded.

He was next. Kairi found matching mouse ears (of course) and made a valiant effort to tame his spiky hair under the strict confines of the headband. It popped out all over the place, but once she was satisfied that it got the job done, they both turned on Riku.

He held out his hands in defense. "No. No way."

But when there was a will, there was a way. Kairi and Sora were both stubborn on their own, and trying to put a stop to their plans when they'd teamed up against him was hopeless.

"You know, there are a lot better ways to spend your munny," Riku grumbled a few minutes later.

He was now the reluctant owner of a headband of his own, courtesy of Sora and Kairi. But instead of mouse ears, which were actually kind of cute, they had managed to find him the absolute worst, the most ridiculous, the downright stupidest headband of them all: a duck butt, tail feathers and orange duck legs sticking proudly up in the air to greet everyone who was unlucky enough to pass by.

"I disagree. I haven't gotten such a good deal for my munny in a long time," Kairi said, a satisfied smirk on her face.

"When can I take this off?" Riku asked, tugging at the material.

"Not till we leave the park," Sora replied cheerfully. Riku groaned and followed after them, hoping all the people they passed didn't notice how ridiculous he looked.

They finally got in line for the ride, and Kairi piped up with another idea.

"Okay, so you know how they take a picture right as you're going downhill?" Her eyes sparkled, and Sora nodded enthusiastically. Riku had a bad feeling about this.

"I figured we could do something fun," she continued, "and I've got an idea."

And that was how they wound up dropping another 2000 munny on a tacky souvenir photo of the three of them playing rock, paper, scissors as they went down Splash Mountain.

Kairi was scissors, Sora was rock, and Riku was paper. When Sora had asked for the reasoning behind this decision, Kairi had grinned and told him, "Because you're my rock," which had quickly devolved into, surprise surprise, more PDA.

Bleh."Get a room, you two."

The next few hours went by without too much trouble. They rode ride after ride with Mickey's special passes, getting silly photos and picking up every flavor of popcorn they could get their hands on – caramel, butter, chocolate, cheese, even special flavors like soy sauce, milk tea, and melon soda – complete with special souvenir buckets. By the time they each had two of the buckets looped around their necks, Riku had to point out that they were going to have trouble carrying much more at this rate.

They piled onto a ride called the Haunted Mansion next. Technically, the little cars could fit three people, but that didn't mean they necessarily should. Riku was squished between Sora on one side and Kairi on the other, with all the stuff they'd bought jammed in between.

Still, it was nice to get some rest for his feet. They were beginning to ache from all the walking and standing the three of them had done. Riku glanced from Sora to Kairi, looked at their smiling faces as they rolled through the many rooms of the Haunted Mansion with their ghosts and ghouls dancing and partying and otherwise carrying on, and couldn't help but smile, too.

Maybe there really was something magical about this place.

As they neared the end of the ride, Sora poked him in the side a lot harder than was really necessary to get his attention.

"Ow, what was that for?" Riku turned to glare at him.

"I've heard about this part before. This is where we get our own ghosts," Sora whispered. Riku's eyes flickered to the mirrors in front of them. His reflection stared back, duck butt headband perched on his head and all.

He was taking that silly thing off the first chance he got. As he watched, waiting for his ghost to appear, two yellow lights appeared above his head. Huh. That wasn't exactly what he'd been expecting.

"Sora, are you sure those are ghosts?" Kairi said, frowning. "They look an awful lot like—"

"Heartless! They're Heartless!" Sora sprung to his feet, his Keyblade materializing in his hand. The Cinderella's carriage popcorn bucket went flying and smacked Riku in the face.

"Watch it, Sora, will you?"

"The spirits will materialize only if you remain quietly seated at all times," instructed a voice over the loudspeaker.

Riku ignored the warning and hoisted Sora on top of the ride. Precariously balancing on its round top, Sora caught as many of the Heartless as he could in one fell swoop. They were Search Ghosts, their ghoulish appearances admittedly a good disguise for the ride. But their yellow eyes gave them away.

Kairi was leaning over the edge of the safety bar, teetering dangerously close to falling off. Riku grabbed onto her as she caught more of the Heartless in a Stop spell. Their car rolled bravely on, and Riku was about to ask her why she didn't use Fire or Blizzard when he realized her reasoning.

Elemental magic would wreck havoc on the ride. Riku wasn't sure sparing it should be their top priority, but—

"Sora, over there!" she shouted. Sora jumped off the ride and caught the ones she'd pointed to with a swooping spin, then leapt back inside just in time for them to round the corner. They'd reached the area where they were supposed to get off.

The attendant, an older man wearing an old-fashioned looking teal suit, noticed Sora's acrobatics. As they clambered off, he gave Sora a stern talking to.

"Young man, for your own safety, you must remain inside the ride at all times. If you do something like that again, I'm going to have to ask you to—"

Sora ignored him and gripped his arms. "Heartless, sir! There are Heartless! You have to evacuate the park!"

The attendant looked from Sora's panicked face to the Keyblade in his hand to the Search Ghost that peeked its head around the corner. He grabbed the small radio attached to his shirt and began shouting instructions into it.

A crackling voice soon came on over the radio in response. "Do not initiate Code 101, I repeat, do not initiate Code 101. We do not want the guests to remain on the attractions with the visitors. Follow the same procedures as for a Signal 25. Get them off the rides and evacuate them to the designated shelter areas. I repeat, evacuate the guests to the designated shelter areas, over."

"Roger that," the attendant said.

"We have to go back in there," Sora said. He dashed back the way they came, running against the conveyer belt and vaulting over car after car as confused families and friends and couples stared on. Kairi followed after him, and Riku stayed and helped the attendant and his emergency backup get everyone safely off the ride as Sora and Kairi took care of the Heartless.

"Is that everyone?" Riku asked as they helped the last group off the ride, a mother with her two small children. Riku knelt to pick up the girl's stuffed Baymax. It was nearly as big as her, and she smiled shyly as he tucked it back into her arms, unaware of the gravity of the situation they were in.

"Yes," the attendant said. "They were the last ones to board the ride."

Sora and Kairi emerged soon afterwards, sweaty and panting for air. Kairi's dress was torn in places, and somewhere along the way Sora had lost his suit jacket. Somehow the mouse ears had survived the ordeal.

"Did you get all of them?"

Sora put his hands on his knees and leaned over, trying to catch his breath. "Think – so. Didn't – see – any – more."

"Did you search the whole ride?" Riku asked.

"Yes," Kairi said, wiping her forehead. "But—"

"All the other rides," Riku said, his face grim. "We still have to search all the other rides."

Their vacation had taken an unexpected turn. Thankfully, the park staff was well prepared for emergencies such as this one, and when the three of them exited the ride, the other guests were being carefully herded into safe areas and out of the park.

That would make things easier, at least, if they didn't have to worry about the safety of thousands of civilians. They told the staff to get everyone out of the park, and they would take care of the rest.

"Where to next?" Kairi asked. She handed Sora the map and used the hair band around her wrist to tie her hair back.

Riku leaned over Sora's shoulder. "Look, that one's nearby."

It turned out to be another indoor ride, all pastel colors with cutesy dolls and band music and a cuckoo clock at the top.

Oh yeah. They'd passed by this ride earlier, but Riku had refused to ride it because even listening to just twenty seconds of that music blasting out over the loudspeakers had been obnoxious.

Great. They made their way inside, and the ride, as it turned out, was a water ride. But not a fun one, like Splash Mountain with its big drop at the end. No, this ride was one you just sat in as it inched its painful way along room after room filled with singing, dancing dolls dressed in clothes from around the world.

Sora opened his mouth. "It's a small—"

"Don't you dare," Riku said, elbowing him in the ribs to get him to shut up. The stupid song was already going to get stuck in his head. He didn't need Sora to sing along with it and make it that much worse.

Kairi chewed her lip and squinted at the group of dolls wearing kimonos with a bright red torii gate behind them. "Where are the Heart— Oh."

Riku took one look in the direction where she pointed and groaned. She'd found the Heartless. She'd found them, all right. They were disguised, the little sneaks, wearing doll clothes and tapping their feet and wiggling their antenna back and forth to the music.

Dancing. They were dancing.

Sora's jaw dropped. "They're evolving," he whispered.

"They're actually… kinda... cute," Kairi said, her face flushing. "I almost feel bad about attacking them."

"I don't." Riku vaulted over the side of the ride into the shallow water and splashed his way over to the nearest group. They could dress up in frilly clothes and dance along to music about world peace or whatever it was as much as they liked, but the only way they were actually going to become human again was if the Keyblade did its job.

Cleaning out that ride took what felt like ages, but at last they were done. As they walked along to the next ride, Sora ran a hand through his sweaty hair and murmured, "It's a small world after—"

"The next person to sing that song I will strangle," Riku said, and that shut him up.

The teacup ride was next, and thankfully there weren't that many Heartless on that one. But Sora and Kairi took great delight in making their teacup spin as fast as possible. Ugh. Riku could handle rollercoaster after rollercoaster, but spinning rides always made him sick.

Not Sora though. Sora, the showoff, did a front handspring from the steering wheel and landed in the bright blue teacup next to them, catching several Soldier Heartless along the way. His Keyblade connected with their helmets and armor with a loud clang, and their hearts were released to the sky.

Where is he getting all this energy? Riku was exhausted already, and they weren't even halfway through the rides.

Ride after ride after ride. They became intimately acquainted with the layout and design of each one in a way Riku had never wanted or needed to know. As they staggered off Big Thunder Mountain (talk about a nightmare, tracking down all those Heartless in the cave areas), Riku had lost it to the point he started doing it.

"It's a small—" He groaned and smacked his forehead. Even after all this time that stupid song was still stuck in his head.

Kairi gave him a weary smile. "Guess you're going to have to strangle yourself."

Splash Mountain was next. They hopped into the log and it started forward. Before long they were treated to woodland animal animatronics singing at them.

Well, still better than "It's A Small World After All."

Until they reached the vines. Because a large group of Shadows decided it would be a good idea to hide amongst them, and… well, they weren't wrong. The stupid things were hanging off the ceiling, and that meant more drastic measures were required.

Kairi was the one to suggest what to do: none of them were quite tall enough to reach the Heartless on their own, but together—

And that was how Riku ended up with Sora on his shoulders, with Kairi on top of Sora's shoulders, like three sweaty building blocks of a human tower.

"Of course I'm the one supporting everyone's weight," Riku grumbled. At least he didn't have Kairi's skirt and petticoats and bloomers to contend with. Riku wasn't sure how Sora could even see with all that material in his face.

"Okay, Riku, move a little to the left—" Kairi instructed. She had her Keyblade held high in the air, still trying to be careful not to use elemental magic and damage the stupid ride. The Heartless blinked down at them from their hiding spot among the vines.

Riku glared at them. You know. You know you're just out of our reach, don't you?

He shifted to the left, only for Sora to wobble and protest. "Not that much!" he cried, and it was all Riku could do to make sure they didn't all go tumbling into the water.

"Drat, missed them!" Kairi said. "Guess we'll have to get that bunch on the next go-around."

"You're kidding!" Riku said. "Do you really expect me to do this again?"

Yes, yes she did. Riku lost count of how many times they'd ridden the darn ride after the seventh go around.

The drop at the end stopped being fun the third time through. The Heartless perched at the very end of the ride, the ones who always jumped out of the way just in time, made sure of that.

Soaking wet, shoulders aching from holding Sora and Kairi's combined weight, and exhausted from all the fighting, they had finally cleared the Heartless out and they still weren't done yet.

At least Astro Blasters provided Riku with a much-needed outlet for his frustration. Never before had shooting Keyblade-guided lasers at their enemies been such a wonderful source of stress relief.

He and Kairi tied on their scores, with Sora in a close second place. Sora swore it was because his weapon had malfunctioned.

"Sure, Sora, sure."

Things went as smoothly as they could under the circumstances after that, till at long last they had reached the final ride: Space Mountain.

As they ascended the stairless escalator, Kairi's head lolled against Sora's shoulder. He was carrying her piggyback style, and how he still had the strength or energy to do that, Riku had no idea.

They boarded the ride, which was admittedly pretty cool looking. All retro space travel with blue capsules and neon lights, and Riku was actually enjoying himself until he realized what they were up against.

Pitch black. The entire inside of this ride was pitch black. Little lights like stars broke up the darkness somewhat, but otherwise—

No, of course not. Of course things couldn't be that easy. They were moving through the dark in a high-speed rollercoaster, and some of those little lights were Heartless eyes.

Riku wanted to scream. No, he did scream. He screamed and shouted and used all kinds of magic because he couldn't take it anymore, this was insane. This was just like those awful, pitch-black rooms back inside Castle Oblivion, filled with Heartless after Heartless that had attacked him in relentless waves.

And best of all, Sora and Kairi didn't stop him. No, they joined him, hours of pent up frustration and exhaustion exploding into beautifully destructive Firagas and Blizzagas and Thundagas.

The ride was probably a wreck by the time they stumbled off it, and their clothes were tattered too, but Riku couldn't help feeling a distinct sense of triumph as they limped to the final area of the park: Cinderella's Castle.

As they strode up to its entrance, a figure clad in black and purple robes waited for them. Riku's Keyblade appeared in his hand, and when he stole a glance at Sora and Kairi, they had also summoned their weapons.

A fire was blazing in Sora's eyes now. "So it was you who did all this! I should have known, Maleficent!"

Pete swung his way through the castle's archway to join his mistress. "Look what runts decided to finally show up." His eyes traveled to Riku's head, and he put his hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh. Riku just glared at him in response.

"Ah yes, but they are hardly worth fussing over." Maleficent turned to Pete and smiled. "This will be a fine castle for us, don't you think, Pete? A little gaudy for my tastes, but we can soon fix that."

She was about to tap her staff on the ground when Sora grabbed it and stopped her.

"Oh no you don't, this is the happiest place on earth!" he shouted. "Kairi, Riku, together!"

Maleficent had probably expected resistance. She'd probably even expected a fight.

What she hadn't expected was the full… extent of Sora's wrath.

Riku had trouble understanding all of Sora's impassioned shouts in the time it took to charge up their joint attack, but he definitely heard, "How dare you!" "Disneyland is off limits!" and last but certainly not least, "You ruined our vacation, you witch!"

Their Trinity Limit, nicknamed Yin and Yang by Kairi, burst forth at last in such a glorious explosion of light and darkness that even Riku was impressed. They'd practiced it plenty of times before, but Sora's anger must have fueled its raw power to new heights.

When the world around them had finally returned to normal, Maleficent and Pete were nowhere to be found. No doubt they'd realized they were better off finding some other castle to make their new abode than dealing with Sora's aggravation over having his vacation ruined.

A thorough search of the attractions showed the Heartless were all gone, too. About time, sheesh. As Sora called the park manager on some random radio to give him the all clear, Riku noticed the sun inching up over the horizon.

The long, Heartless night was finally over. He sighed and tried to rake his fingers through his hair when they ran into resistance.

Oh yeah. The duck butt headband was still on his head. Right before he could take it off though, Kairi stopped him.

"Oh no you don't," she said and grinned. "We aren't out of the park yet."

The park staff returned and thanked them profusely for all their help, promising all sorts of discounts and deals and special passes and gifts. As they exited the front gates, goodies in hand, to meet Mickey where he'd promised to pick them up, Riku turned to Sora and Kairi.

They still had their matching mouse ears on, and Sora was carrying Kairi in his arms. Her yellow shoes dangled from her hand, and she looked perfectly content as she snuggled against his chest and sighed. The way he was looking at her right now would have melted even Maleficent's icy heart.

"You know, this was actually kinda fun," Riku said, enjoying the incredulous looks they both gave him.

"You can't be serious," Sora said, and Kairi giggled.

Riku just shrugged and held up three brightly colored passes. "What? It'd be a shame if we let these go to waste." He took one last look at the park and grinned. "What do you say we come back tomorrow?"

Omake (in honor of Advocaat):

Roxas glared at Maleficient through Sora's eyes. "Don't let her do it, Sora! Don't let anyone else ruin my summer vacation ever again!"

"I won't!" Sora cried, lifting his Keyblade high in the air. "Roxas, this is for you!"

Content that his Other had kept his word, Roxas allowed himself to slip into the depths of slumber once more.

The End.

A/N: For the Disney Park aficionados in my audience, the one featured in this story was primarily based off of Tokyo Disneyland (hence why they called Westernland, well, Westernland and not Frontierland).

And yes, you can buy headbands like the one Riku has, and popcorn flavors like melon soda really are sold there. Matching couple costumes are also very popular.

The codes the park cast used were based off of an article on Disney Fanatic. According to the article, Code 101 means closing the rides, and Signal 25 means a fire. The Haunted Mansion ride announcement was also based off of a real announcement for the ride, which thanks to some kind soul on YouTube, I was able to incorporate into the story.

I tried to keep the descriptions of rides as accurate as possible; however, I did take creative liberties with Splash Mountain for the sake of humor. The ceilings (probably) aren't high enough to require Sora and Kairi to sit on top of Riku's shoulders to reach the vines hanging off the ceiling.

The Haunted Mansion parts of the story were inspired by Mr. Spinner's request for a Haunted Mansion world visit, and Advocaat gave me some great ideas for the humorous moments on the rides. A big thank you to both of you.

And the original idea for this story was inspired by how Sora, Kairi, and Riku's Japanese voice actors went to Tokyo Disneyland together after recording their lines. I wanted to write something about their characters visiting together, and thus this story was born.

As always, thank you for reading!