A/N1: Once more, welcome to the world of overthinking.
Only a couple of hours left until the dawn, until the dreadful tomorrow comes. It's not the first time in her life when Jyn is afraid of what the next day may bring. Though it'd be much more accurate to say she's now afraid of what the next morning may rather take away. She's been gifted with something truly precious; believing it's hers to cherish and then losing it to the morning light would probably just kill her.
Jyn's not alone tonight, and maybe won't ever be alone again. She still doesn't quite understand how could it happen, but the very first evening after Cassian's discharge from the medbay ends up with them sharing her bunk. At first sitting at opposite bed ends, later laying down half a bunk apart, and finally laying face to face with hands clutched together, they are talking and crying: reliving Scarif horror, mourning after people and things lost, trying to find a way through the madness that has changed both of their worlds forever.
Somehow, the only bearable approach to the survival seems to be going forward together. The fragile balance kept between them is the strongest bond maintained by either for years, if not ever. Instead of being awkward, this feels perfectly natural, allowing them to draw strength from the other. And yet, both Jyn and Cassian admit openly they're at loss on how to proceed, how not to destroy this mysterious thing they have - whatever it is.
There are still things unnamed and unexplained between them, but this has to wait until tomorrow. It's been just a few hours since Cassian had left the medbay, his skin pale and speech slurred making it obvious he's very tired. The man can be stubborn, too stubborn for his own good, but Jyn manages to talk him into having some real rest. He refuses to go to his own bunk though, to Jyn's surprise he chooses to stay where he is instead. She's watching how his breath is slowing down, and his dark eyes finally stay shut; yet his hands still firmly keep their hold on her own palms. There's no way she'd betray his trust by waking him up with yanking out her hands, so she stays very still, keeps on watching him and muses.
Strange, but it feels amazing to have someone freely trusting her - it couldn't have been easy for Cassian, to fall asleep beside someone else just like that, with no free hands to act upon danger, no weapons around, his back not secured by wall. She smiles in spite of herself, as it's the calmest she have ever seen him: trusting, careless, relaxed, and so incredibly young, boyish almost. It feels amazing for her to freely trust someone too. With somebody else she might've feel trapped: no movement possibility at all, no way to defend herself or even to push away messy hair strands from her eyes. It makes quite a shocking discovery, that a possible entrapment feels like something else entirely; like safety, like sense of belonging exactly then and there, like being home.
Could that be that even though she's constantly on the run, Jyn has found someone who's willing to stay by her side, to be her home, always? But then, is she able to let someone be so close, to let someone else guide her through storms of life, to let herself guide someone? With her being so very damaged: full of mistrust, not accustomed to sharing her thoughts, terrified of closeness or touch, too proud to ask for help, is it possible for her to not hurt Cassian further? She's pretty sure he's suffering from the very same issues as herself. And what if - if he does feel hurt, or decides he can't go on like that? Can she believe his promises that he won't disappear, like all of the dreams she used to have?
Will he be there tomorrow?
Exhausted mentally after so much of heavy thinking and sifting through various emotions, Jyn is unable to keep herself conscious any longer. She eventually falls into sleep as well. Surprisingly, no nightmares haunt her this night, even if her mind is clouded with fear and insecurity.
When she wakes up, she doesn't have to open her eyes to know that he's still there, still beside her. Their hands are no longer linked together, but are still so very close, gently brushing against each other. The solid presence of Cassian's warm, steady body makes her want to calmly go back to sleep, to the safety of unawareness. Jyn decides against such a runaway though. She wants to face the new morning and its reality.
It turns out Cassian is awake already. He's silently watching her from under half-open eyelids and disheveled fringe, with an innocent soft smile; accidentally or not, he's perfectly mirroring her own behavior from just few hours before. The sudden realization is enough to make Jyn finally understand: they're truly alike.
She fully believes now that he will be there for her tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and for the rest of their dawns too: for as long as they may want it.
And they do want it, to be there for each other. Both of them, for all the future tomorrows.
A/N2: Triggered by definitely too much of listening to classical rock/metal ballads, so I shamelessly borrowed a line from one to use as a title. Still, it's not a songfic by any means, just my usual pompous babbling :3