A/N: I do not own Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku wo! It's owned by Natsume Akatsuki.
"I spy with my two eyes…" I quickly glanced around the room before I settled my sight on Eris. A smirk formed in my lips. "Something that starts with a P" She would never guess that word, and even if she did; she wouldn't dare to.
The beautiful Goddess across me pondered for a moment, scratching her cheek in the process. "Hmm… Is it a portal?" She stared me intently, yet I didn't show any sign of weakness.
"Wrong" I bluntly replied as I lowered my head, purposely casting a shadow over my eyes. I liked being as cool as possible.
"I can't think of anything else, what's the answer Kazuma-kun?"
She easily gave up?
With a pose that rivaled Megumin's, I outstretched my left arm and with an open palm shouted the chant 'STEAL'. My smirk widened, as I felt soft and smooth sensations from my left hand.
I raised my head and stared upon the clearly embarrassed and violated Eris. "Pads!" With my left arm raised up high, I felt achievement course through my veins.
"Ka-Kazuma-kun… Can you return those please?" She lowered her head in shame as she wrapped her hands around her chest.
Oi, I was just playing around.
Pitying her sorry state, I went up to Eris and gently returned the pads silently, however I didn't relent in giving them a good squeeze.
As fast as I stole them, she shifted around in her seat; showing me her back as she swiftly placed them back from where they were supposed to. I only watched her in amusement.
"You know you don't need those to look beautiful-" It took me several seconds to realize what I had just said. My prideful expression turned into a petrified one as I was at a loss of words. I really do need to watch my mouth sometimes. Her face flushed, redder than anything I had seen before, embarrassment hitting her harder than my realization that the truck was a tractor.
"Idiot… Saying those words to a Goddess like me…"
This Goddess didn't even have the composure to think straight.
"It's true though" I scratched my head as I avoided her gaze, it was no lie and was undoubtedly true. So much so that her beauty alone could challenge the worth of her Senpai.
My words struck her to the core, evident by her blush spreading even more, to the point where I thought it reached her hands. I could even swear that I had seen some smoke escape her ears.
She took in a heavy breath, holding it within her padded chest. At first, I thought that she was only regaining her composure and retort cutely, but what I got was something I could hear myself saying to Aqua.
"BAKA!"
My eyes snapped wide open, my body instinctively sitting up straight. I surveyed the room I was in and realized that I had been returned back at the mansion, on the bed, alone, with no Eris.
I felt the need to sigh, I couldn't even deny the fact that I wanted to be in her company.
It's not like I was the one who intentionally visited her too. She was the one responsible for summoning me in her realm when I was asleep, which was conveniently also the time where I experience such wonderful dreams, especially between – Wait, forget that part, but know for the fact that I wasted quite a hefty amount of Eris on that dream.
Nonetheless, she was responsible for bringing me to her realm, at the same time being all cutesy, shamelessly saying that she felt lonely and had the urge to talk to somebody, since her persona in this world was discovered by the other Gods. Basically, its complicated Heaven Politics.
But that doesn't cover the fact that my first 'visit' was a disaster if you ask me. I'll spare you from the details but let us say that it had something to do with the dream I had when I was asleep.
When I thought that it was over and that she would choose my party's masochistic crusader next as someone to speak to, she surprisingly summoned me again in the next night, and the next, and the nights after that. It even reached to the point that I was able to travel to her realm voluntarily every time I fell asleep, which certainly was more of a reason to stay being a NEET mind you.
"Kazuma! Kazuma!"
"Yes I'm Kazuma" The high-pitched voice of my party's explosion maniac snapped me out my reminiscing stupor. The door swung open violently with Megumin crashing into the room in her usual confident flair, sporting her red adventurer's clothes and wooden staff.
"What is it?" I asked her, my stare plain as the sea on a calm day.
"There's somebody outside, I think its another sexual harassment complaint"
Oi, I'm not that perverted. I'm only a man with desire you know?
My stare only increased in intensity. "Why do you have to enter my room to tell me though?" I asked yet again, half-knowing what her response would be.
"To make sure you won't escape"
As expected.
My stare was at its peak intensity. "Oi, I'm not that despicable" I replied nonchalantly.
"You are" My stare was then matched with hers, but as I thought through it more; I decided to give in and talk with the person outside, that would get me off Megumin's hook. I lazily slid off the comfortable bed and dressed in my usual green adventurer's get-up, but not before I had successfully pushed Megumin out of the door.
Exactly when I finished, I left the room and went downstairs with Megumin trailing behind me. As I reached the edge of the stairs, I heard the Useless Goddess scream in the top of her lungs. "YOU!"
Curious, I quickly descended down the steps, only to stop in my tracks when I realized who was outside the door, and what was happening to that who.
"Eris?" Acting on instinct, I jumped off the stairs and landed painfully on the tiled floor, inwardly crying and at the same time regretting what I had done. Not wanting to look uncool though, I; with my remaining strength in my legs, dashed towards Aqua, sapping her energy with Drain Touch but only to the point of exhaustion. She collapsed on the ground beside where Eris was pushed down on, but her palms remained on her padded chest as if trying to prove a point.
"What is going on here?" Darkness stated with her hands crossed as she walked out of the kitchen, a bit of pudding still in her lips. I couldn't take her seriously anymore.
"Ha, hah, ahh…" Eris panted, making it an obligation to help her. I wasn't able to come up with some snide remark since I was busy contemplating on why she was here.
"Kazuma-kun, who's she?" Megumin then asked as she descended down the stairs with a suspicious gaze.
"Umm" My attention turned to Eris, whom leaned weakly against me, still trying to compose herself after Aqua's attack. Her stats were certainly a lot lower than Aqua, but as I looked at the Useless Goddess behind me, I decided to settle with a weaker Eris any time.
"I'm Kazuma's friend from Japan" She showed her usual smile, the one that always captivated me. It was so consistent that I bet it's a cheat skill. On the other hand, this oddly irritated Megumin as I could see her veins pop out. Meanwhile, Darkness was in her Lalatina mode as she stood there in wonder. "You look familiar, have I seen met you before?"
"No" I interjected. I could see Darkness blush as I rudely answered her question, but she managed to compose herself. "S-so, what's your name?"
"Eri – Uhh. Chri – Wait…" Disbelief entered my mind.
"Cleris" Out of nowhere, I uttered in reply.
"What?" Darkness stared at us strangely.
"Her name is Cleris, she's – a good friend of mine"
"Good friend!? She-!" Aqua weaved as I sent a kick to her side.
"Right Cleris?" I smiled awkwardly as I scratched the back of my head, whom only nodded silently.
"Sorry, she's a silent type" She sent a quick jab to my stomach.
Oi, I saved you there.
"Ok? Well nice to meet you Cleris, just scream if Kazuma does anything to you Ok?"
Oi.
"Darkness why are you leaving her with Kazuma!?" Megumin shouted as Darkness returned to the kitchen, her arms wrapped around her chest. I felt Eris tug my shirt shyly, making me look at her. She had a pretty obvious blush on her face. Have I set another flag?
I willingly let her tug her away but Megumin stopped us in our tracks. "I'm watching you two" She motioned her two fingers in the usual "I'm watching you" gesture before she went to the kitchen. That's the Megumin I know, always so inconsistent.
The tugs became stronger to the point that she was yanking me through the mansion. "What are you doing here?" I asked the first thing in my mind as she struggled to pull me.
"I wanted to visit you silly~" I felt my heart pound against my ribs. It had been becoming quite common now whenever I was near Eris.
"But you could've waited till night" She pouted cutely.
*Pound*
Now it just hurts.
"*Cough* A-anyways, why's the visit?" I quickly composed myself as we stopped in a secluded hallway.
"Do I have to tell you everything?"
I laughed, I genuinely laughed.
"No. I bet you just want to play more, huh?" She nodded shyly, she had been acting incredibly out-of-character lately.
"We are going to do it right?" I blushed, what is she saying all of a sudden? She noticed my blush and pushed me. Hard.
"You really are perverted Kazuma-kun" I scratched my head, well I'm only a man with desire.
"O-Of course, Eris, I mean Cleris" I smiled sheepishly, since when did I have turned dere?
A/N
This one I made when I felt really bored one night, it was just a stroke of inspiration after I finished reading many of the good fanfiction in Konosuba. Also, I did try my best in imitating the personalities of the characters, but I personally had a hard time with Kazuma, since I'm not really one to be funny. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this particular chapter. There's another one coming but I can't promise when I can update. Leave your thoughts as always, criticize properly, meaning no meaningless flame. Hope you enjoyed the read.
Edit: I have fixed the chapter and the title to a degree that I am satisfied with. Again, I am sorry that I let my desire to post this chapter as soon as possible tamper with the quality of this particular chapter. I would try my best to not repeat the same mistake.
GBYE