Chapter 11 – Let Me Not to Marriage of True Minds Admit Impediments

The fall passed quietly enough, though there was much excitement with the preparations for the wedding. Not a week after Lydia and Wickham had removed to Newcastle, Mr. Bingley proposed to Jane. Now it was to be a double wedding, and the two couples couldn't be more delighted. With a week to go until they were all married, Darcy sipped his coffee and thought back in amusement to his friend telling him that Jane had accepted him at last.

"Morning, Charles." He had said, walking in to break his fast one morning.

There was no reply from his distracted friend.

Trying again, he asked, "It's a fine day out. What do you say to some shooting?"

"Hmmm? Oh, yes…shooting." Bingley managed.

"Everything all right, Charles?" Darcy asked.

"Oh yes, everything is all right. Better than all right, actually. It's bloody fantastic!" Bingley offered.

"I think you have something important you want to tell me?" Darcy offered.

"I'm trying not to tell you something, actually. You're not going to like it, though I think it is the most wonderful thing to happen to me," Bingley said, sadly.

"Well since I'm pretty certain I already know what it is you are trying not to tell me, why don't you just tell me, so that I may congratulate you and then we can go for a shoot," Darcy said, smiling at his friend's astonishment.

"How did you know?"

"You forget that I am engaged to they lady's sister. There are no secrets here," Darcy laughed.

"Are you very disappointed?" Bingley asked.

"Why on earth would I be disappointed? I could not be more delighted. Now we are truly to be brothers," he said, placing his hand on his friend's shoulder.

Bingley stood there in amazement.

"Look, Charles, I know I once encouraged you to abandon Jane. I said you could do better as to fortune and finding a better helpmate. I was a different man then, trying to hide from my own feelings for Elizabeth. I was wrong, but I hope you know I only ever wanted your happiness. Are you happy?"

"I've never been happier," Bingley beamed back at him, removing any little doubt Darcy might have had from his mind.

"Then congratulations, from the bottom of my heart, Charles. Now, let us say no more about it, and go for a shoot?"

Darcy was roused from his revelry, remembering that he had promised to call at Haye-Park with his sister this morning, where Elizabeth and her family had been settled for some weeks now. He had recently purchased a small property in Meryton; a place for he and Elizabeth to establish themselves when they wanted to visit her family in the future. Georgiana had become close to Kitty and Darcy was pleased to see that this had had a positive affect on both girls. It was already planned that Kitty would come and spend some time at Pemberley the coming spring and they would be presented to society together in London.

As soon as they arrived as they arrived at Haye-Park the others quickly left Darcy and Elizabeth to themselves. It wasn't particularly subtle, but Darcy was always glad of an excuse to be alone together. They agreed to a walk to Oakham Mount, a particular favorite spot of theirs. As they reached the peak, they took a moment to appreciate the views.

"I know it is nothing to Pemberley, but I think it the loveliest spot in all Hertfordshire," Elizabeth mused.

"Indeed, it is magnificent. Derbyshire has many such views, but I will always be partial to Hertfordshire because it brought me to you" he said, as he wound her hand in his.

"Oh, was that what it was? I always thought it was my fine eyes," she laughed.

"Well, I…you're teasing me, aren't you?" he smiled back.

"Yes, and you will need to learn to tell the difference, as I intend to do it quite often" she told him.

"You'll find no objections from me," he conceded. "I thought you might like to write to Mrs. Reynolds today. You can send her any instructions and changes you wish to make to Pemberley, so they may be ready when we arrive."

"But will it not be awkward? I am not mistress of Pemberley, yet."

"Yet being the operative word. It's only a matter of a few days. It is a mere formality. I want you to feel that Pemberley is your home," he insisted.

"And I do. But until it is formally my home, I wouldn't want to insert myself as mistress prematurely. Besides, I really can't imagine there is anything I would wish to change. It will be better to live for a time before making any decisions," she countered.

"If that is your wish," he agreed.

"It is. I confess, I'm quite nervous at being mistress of such an estate as Pemberley. So many people will rely on us; the tenants, the staff. I fear I will disgrace you in some way," she said, sounding worry.

"My love, you and Jane ran Longbourn for a time since your father's passing, as well as Haye-Park, and have done an admirable job at that. I have no doubts whatsoever. I am sure they will find you a fair and generous mistress. You will be the best thing to happen to Pemberley because you are the best thing to happen to me," he assured her, cupping her cheek and kissing her forehead.

"Even still…" she began.

"No." He said quickly and firmly.

"No? You don't even know what I was going to say," she insisted.

"Yes, I do. And my answer is still no. You were once again going to tell me that you love me, but I deserve better; some lady of the ton, no doubt, who will not pollute the shades of Pemberley. Was that what my aunt said? You want me to release myself from our engagement so that we don't both come regret and resent each other. It's out of the question," he said, more forcefully than he intended.

"That wasn't exactly what I was going to say, but…the facts remain. I bring nothing to this marriage." She waited for him to say something else, but he had turned from her and looked away, saying nothing further. "Are you angry with me?" she asked.

"No, I am not angry with you," he said, softer now. "But I grow tired of this conversation, Elizabeth. We've had it so many times now. What further proof do you need of my constancy? How can you say you bring nothing to this marriage? You bring everything that I need and that is all that matters. If I wanted to marry one of those shallow, husband hunters like Caroline Bingley I could have had my pick. You have seen Pemberley. Do you think I really need to concern myself with marrying for money? I want something more. I want you. You are what makes me happy, happier than I have ever known in my life. Unless your feelings have somehow changed, I desire nothing more than to stand up with you next week in Longbourn Church amongst our family and friends and become man and wife. Have your feelings changed?"

"No, of course not. I want nothing more than to be your wife. Forgive me, William. I am a fool," she said, taking his hand. "I have never doubted your constancy, nor my feelings for you. Merely my own worthiness. I know I give the impression of putting on a brave face, but I can't help but be a little nervous at becoming Mrs. Darcy. There is so much to live up to. You're right of course, though. We will have each other. Help each other. All I can promise you is that I will endeavor to be the best wife to you, to prove that your faith in me hasn't been misplaced. I would not disappoint you for the world."

"You could never disappoint me," he assured her, gently.

They began their walk back to Longbourn and began to turn their conversation to the wedding.

"It is kind of Mr. Collins and Charlotte to allow us all to marry from Longbourn. Jane and I are to have a final fitting tomorrow for our gowns. Have all your family confirmed they are going to attend?" she asked.

"Yes. Georgiana is here, as you know. My aunt and uncle are coming from Matlock. Thomas and Charlotte are not able to come as she has just had the baby and cannot travel…Richard and Anne of course, but Aunt Catherine will not be joining them," he explained.

"I am sorry for it," she began, but he held up his hand to stop her.

"It's of no importance. Her behavior and loneliness is of her own making. I told her if she could not give you the respect due my wife, she would be cut off from me and Georgiana, and I meant it," he told her.

"It must be very difficult for Anne and Richard, there at Rosings with her. Has she come to accept their marriage yet?" she inquired.

"Indeed not. But she primarily keeps to the dowager house, and Richard still spends a large amount of time with the regiment. They are quite content, to my mind," he explained. "I have spoken to Charles, and we can spend the wedding night at Netherfield and then make our way to Pemberley the following day and be there in plenty of time for the new year."

"It sounds perfect," Elizabeth smiled.

"It will be, trust me" he told her, giving her to understand that he meant much more than just the wedding.

The next week went by in a blur, with so much to do to finish preparations and preparing to move into their new roles and wives and mistresses of grand estates. Elizabeth and Jane were discussing matters on their last night together when their aunt Gardiner knocked on their bedroom door.

"My dears," said she, nervously. "I was hoping to find you together"

"Aunt, is anything the matter?" asked Jane.

"Not in the least. Tomorrow is your wedding day. It can be a very wonderful but trying time, and I just wanted to ensure that there was nothing you needed to know or ask about."

"Mama had the same thought yesterday," Elizabeth said, mildly.

"Yes, I know. Which is why I thought it wouldn't hurt to check on you. Though I love my sister, I've no illusions that she may not have been completely helpful in these matters" their aunt told them. "What did she tell you?"

"To own the truth, aunt, she said that we should expect no enjoyment from our marital duties. That it was merely to please our husbands. We should do our duty and allow them to take their pleasure. We should lie there and think of England and providing an heir. I can't pretend to have found it very helpful," Elizabeth told her.

"Oh dear, I suspected as much. You really mustn't pay any attention to such nonsense. I won't lie to you. You can experience some discomfort at first, but on the whole marital relations can be a pleasure for both the man and woman. I will not overwhelm you with the mechanics of it all. Relations between and husband and wife are so individual. All I can tell you is that you should let the love you have for your husbands guide you. That is the advice my mother gave me on my wedding night and I found it quite satisfactory. Having met both of your betrothed I have not doubt that they will be gentle and patient. Put your minds at ease about that."

"Thank you, aunt" Jane said. "I am very relieved to hear you say that."

"I hoped it would be. Have you any other worries?" she asked. When she got no reply, she said, "Now, you girls should be in bed. It is a big day tomorrow."

With a hug and a kiss each she left to themselves. Their last night as Bennet girls was fast coming to an end. Tomorrow they would become women, wives, and mistresses of grand estates. Elizabeth was fighting excitement and nervousness and finally sleep overtook her.