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Party of None, hope you enjoy it

And here...we...go!

Party of None

It was a cool, breezy Sunday at the Loud House. Lincoln scrambled around his room, searching under his bed and in the crawlspace behind the vent for something he had misplaced.

"C'mon," Lincoln thought. "Where did I put it?"

He opened the bottom drawer of his dresser and rummaged through it to find an extendable baton.

"Got it!" Lincoln said. "Its Sunday morning at the Loud House and that means my sisters and I are going to have a sibling meeting to decide how to spend our day. Sounds fun, right? Well it would be if we didn't go to the same place every weekend. The Royal Woods Mall."

-begin flashback-

A few months ago, the eleven Loud Siblings gathered in Lori and Leni's room in a sibling meeting.

"Okay people" Lori said "I'm accepting ideas on how we should spend the day."

Lincoln raised his hand "Ooh, ooh! We could go to DairyLand!"

But all ten of his sisters made a buzzer noise and gave him a thumbs down.

Lincoln's face fell a bit before suggesting another idea. "Okay... How 'bout Gus' Games and Grub!"

His sisters did the same thing as before and made a buzzer noise, giving him another thumbs down.

Lincoln bristled a bit. "How about-" he began.

The girls do the exact same thing a third time, cutting him off before he could suggest somewhere else.

"I know some place we'd all like!" Lori said.

-20 minutes later-

Lincoln sat on a bench, alone and angry while watching all the sisters having a good time at the mall, looking out at Lily sitting on the floor beside the bench.

-End Flashback-

"I always get dragged to the mall. I never get to do what I want to do there because I'm always stuck watching Lily. And even when I'm not, I'm always helping carry someones' bags. But this time it's gonna be different. Because this time I have a presentation set up that is sure to convince my sisters to spend the day doing what I have planned. All I have to do is change into my suit and I'll be ready for the meeting."

Lincoln set down his baton and next went to get his blue suit. He'd like to see just how easy it would be for his sister to try and turn him down this time. The presentation he had prepared was chock full of valid points to back up his plan and he was even prepared to deal with any jokes from Luan or condescending remarks from Lori. Not to mention that he could easily sway some of his sisters over to his side. Lisa would no doubt be compelled by his argument and would even back him up once she saw the logic he utilized. And Leni would be practically wrapped around his little finger, fawning over how handsome he looked.

After changing and grooming himself a bit, Lincoln was ready to go see his sisters. He felt very confident about how things would proceed. He had put a bit of thought into his idea and knew that they'd go for it for sure. All he had to do was open his door, walk down to the other end of the hall and...

The door to his room swung open, quickly gaining his attention. All ten of his sisters stood on the other side, Lori at the front of the group. Lincoln took immediate notice of the fact that she had her purse slung over her shoulder and the keys to Vanzilla in her hand.

"C'mon twerp, we're heading to the mall." She said.

"What are you talking about?" Lincoln asked. "We haven't had the meeting to decide that yet!"

"No, we did. Just now. I kept it quick to save time." Lori explained. "I asked if they wanted to go and everyone said they did."

"I didn't! I wasn't even there!" Lincoln protested. "That isn't fair!"

"Actually, if one takes a moment to think through the matter, it is." Lisa said, adjusting her glasses. "In the event you had attended, you would have voted either to go or not to go. If you had voted to go, then it would have been unanimous and we'd be going. On the other hand, had you voted against the idea, then you would have been outvoted ten to one and we'd still be going anyway."

"Yup, it literally wouldn't have made a difference." Lori said with a nod. "Besides, we end up going every week anyway, so it shouldn't be a surprise that we're doing it again. Now get changed or just come with what you're already wearing, we're burning daylight."

"Yeah, and we're, like, wasting time too!" Leni added.

Lincoln slumped his shoulders and lowered his head in defeat. "Fine. " he said. "Just give me time to change."

"You've got five minutes." Lori said. "C'mon girls."

Lori shut the door and led the girls downstairs into Vanzilla, leaving Lincoln alone in his room. He tightly gripped the baton in his hand before extending it to full length, snapping it over his knee, and throwing the pieces against the wall. His face reddened with frustration as he pulled off his suit and changed into a set of street clothes.

"I'm so sick of this!" Lincoln thought as he put on his shoes and then angrily kicked his dresser. "Every single weekend! What do I have to get them to listen to me?"

Once he had changed, he stomped down the stairs, out of the house and into Vanzilla, slamming to door hard enough to rattle the windows.

"Easy on the door, Lincoln!" Lori said. "We want to get to the mall with Vanzilla in one piece."

" You want to get to the mall." Lincoln grumbled under his breath. "I don't!"

Lori started up Vanzilla, and drove to the mall. The Loud Sisters happily chatted amonsgt themselves, and Lincoln sat in the back next to Lucy, stewing in anger. Lucy stopped scribbling in her notebook and lightly poked his shoulder with her pen.

"Can you help me with a line of my next poem?" she asked. "I need a word that rhymes with 'late'."

"How about 'hate'?" Lincoln suggested hotly.

"That works." she said as she wrote it down. "All finished with my new poem, It's called "Weekend". Wanna hear it?"

Lincoln grunted in response. Taking it as a 'yes', Lucy cleared her throat.

"I wake up Sunday morning

With all my siblings in tow.

We get together and decide

On where we all should go.

We chose our destination;

So hurry, don't be late

Because missing out on a trip to the mall,

Is something I would hate"

She turned to Lincoln. "What did you think?" she asked.

"Change part of the second line." Lincoln said flatly.

"Why?" she asked. "Whats wrong with it?"

"Since I wasn't there it doesn't make sense to use the phrase 'all my siblings'." Lincoln said through clenched teeth' "So change it to 'all my sisters'."

"Oh, yeah, that does make sense. Thanks." Lucy said, making the correction as suggested. "So when we get to the mall, do you think you could help me find a new pair of dress shoes? I want something to go with my new funeral dress."

Lincoln let out a heavy sigh. "Yeah, sure." He said dejectedly. "It's not like what I'll get to anything I want to do anyway." he added under his breath.

Lincoln spent the remainder of the ride to the mall silently griping about the whole thing. By the time they arrived, his mood had improved a little, but not by much. While his sisters eagerly made their way through the parking lot, he dragged his feet. Part of him thought it would be best to just let them keep going and fall behind. Maybe he could get to do something then. But that came with the risk of angering Lori. She would not tolerate him wandering off at any point during the trip. Which was ridiculous considering that all of his sisters would branch off to go to the places they liked the minute they got through the doors.

"But if I go off by myself, Lori will go bounty hunter on my butt and then she'll hold my hand the whole time we're here!" Lincoln thought, his temper flaring again.

The group entered the mall and just as Lincoln anticipated, the sisters started to split and go their separate ways. Lisa and Leni went off in one direction while Luna, Lynn and Lana made their way to the nearest escalator. Luan pushed Lily in her stroller while Lori led her and Lola off to look in a nearby store, leaving Lincoln and Lucy alone. And according to Lori's rules, all of the younger sisters had to stick with one of the six older siblings. Meaning Lincoln had to stay with Lucy until...

Until they met back up with any of their older sisters. Which meant that it was just the two of them, and he was in charge. Maybe, just maybe...

"Hey Luce." He said. "After we pick out some new shoes for you, do you think we can check out the comic book store?"

Lucy gave him a blank stare. "You know comics aren't my thing, Lincoln."

"Yeah, and shoe shopping isn't my thing." Lincoln politely countered. "But it's only fair that I get to go to a store I like too. Besides, I think I know a comic that you would like. It's about vampires trying to survive a zombie apocalypse."

Lincoln noted Lucy's head lifted up a tiny bit, her face showing a bit of intrigue. She remained silent for a moment, but then...

"Okay. That does sound like it would be interesting. And it's only fair that you get to do something you want to do too." she said.

"Awesome! Let's go find you some new shoes!" Lincoln said, taking the lead with a new spring in his step. Things were starting to go his way, all he had to do was wait for just a little bit. Then he could do something he wanted and with one of his sisters too. The best part was this wouldn't be too bad. Not like with Lori or Lola when they were shopping. Or the trial that came with assisting Leni when she was looking for new shoes. That girl would want to buy nearly all of them, but only ever have the money for one or two pairs. Compared to that, helping Lucy would be no trouble at all.

-A short while later-

Lincoln learned something that day. Lucy was definitely more trouble when it came to shoe shopping than he would have dared to guess. She was right up there with Leni, except instead of liking too many different types of shoes, she just didn't seem to like any of them. It was mind boggling. Not to mention physically draining. He had practically checked all over the young girl's section of the shoe store, picking out anything in Lucy's size that suited her taste. But there was always something she didn't like about the darn things!

"Sorry Lincoln." Lucy said, taking off another rejected shoe. "But this won't do either. I like how it looks, but it pinches my toes too much."

"It's okay, let's just put them back and see what else we can find." he replied, barely containing an exasperated sigh.

He took the shoes and put them back into their box. This would be pair number...actually, he had stopped counting after they had hit thirteen pairs of shoes. But he was sure that the number would have been more than twice that. It was one of the larger shoe stores after all, and he had picked it specifically to have the best variety of options available. And so far, not any of them met Lucy's standards. He was really close to losing his patience with her.

"No, no, no." he chastised himself. "It's not her fault. Maybe we just need to try a store more suitable to her tastes."

"Hey, is there a different store in the mall that might have what you're looking for?" He asked. "We aren't having luck in this one. The only other shoes left in your size are, well, not your style."

Lucy nodded. "I think I might be able to find something in one of my usual shopping spots. Follow me."

The spooky girl began to lead her brother out of the store and off towards a descending escalator. Lincoln looked around as they reached the bottom, trying to spot whatever place Lucy had in mind. But he soon found himself distracted as he felt a familiar pressure building up in his bladder.

"Uh-oh." He said, feeling the urge growing stronger. "Uh, Luce? I need to run to the boy's bathroom. You don't mind if I just meet you there, do you?"

"Not at all. It's just over there." Lucy said, pointing to a store just down the way. "I'll just head in and start to look around. But I'll stay near the front of the store so you won't need to look for me, okay?"

Lincoln nodded and ran off to the nearest public facility. Luckily it wasn't to far from the escalators. But to his annoyance, he found that it was out of order when he got there. Great, now he had to go to the next nearest bathrooms. Sure it was just up the escalators, but that would mean he had to wander even further from Lucy. He'd just have to be quick.

Rushing back to the escalators, Lincoln went back up to the next floor. He excused himself as he ran past people riding the up escalator and got to the top. Spotting the bathrooms, he beelined it over and soon achieved sweet relief.

On his way back out, Lincoln saw the comic book store across from him. He noticed a table had been set up with a sign reading 'Free Comics Today Only!' hanging on the front. A teenager who worked at the store was piling up stacks of comics on the table, and there was a lot of them too. There was no way Lincoln couldn't go over to check it out.

But...he was supposed to be with Lucy. He couldn't just run off to the comic store and leave her waiting. That could easily come back to bite him. It was best to just head back down to find Lucy, help her find her shoes and then they'd come right back up. There were plenty of comics there, it's not like he wouldn't get his pick. The store was probably only allowing people to pick out one or two of them for free. He could definitely afford to wait...after he just took one quick little peek at the selection.

Lincoln power walked over to the table, thinking over his plan. He'd just look over the table nice and quick. Just a few seconds and nothing more. Then he'd return to Lucy to help her out and afterwards the two of them would come up here and look around together. And from there they could head to the food court for something to snack on. It would be fun. Or at least more fun that he usually had at the mall with his sisters.

The table was just a few more feet away. Some other people were already gathering there to look at the different titles up for grabs. One person got directly in his way and he went to go around them. But they stepped in front of him again, Lincoln taking note of the fact that they were facing him. No, she was facing him. He had been in such a hurry to look at the comics, he had completely missed his older sister approaching from the side. And she didn't look pleased with him at all.

"Lincoln." Lori said in an icy cold tone. "Please tell me that you didn't ditch our little sister so you could look at stupid comic books!"

"What? No! I just..."

"Do NOT lie to me!" Lori snapped. "I have a text from Lucy right her on my phone. She said you literally went to use the bathroom and then instead ran off on her!"

Oooh, that wasn't good. Lucy must've seen him reach the out of order bathroom and then have to go off to find another one. She probably contacted Lori right away after she saw that. In hindsight, he should've doubled back to let her know about what he was doing. Hopefully Lori would let him explain. But being caught practically at the comic store's door wasn't making things look to good for him. Oh well, here went nothing.

"This isn't what it looks like, Lori." Lincoln said. "I had to come here because the bathroom near the shoe store was out of order."

"Maybe so." Lori went on. "But you should've come back when you were finished. I mean, what kind of older sibling leaves their eight year old sister alone in the shoe store to go read comics?"

Lincoln twitched in annoyance at Lori's words. "This coming from the one who makes me watch Lily all the time when we come to the mall!" he fired back.

Lori rolled her eyes. "Well if this is how you're going to act, then maybe we shouldn't trust you to watch her when we're shopping."

Lincoln ground his teeth as anger began to bubble up in his stomach "I didn't even want to come to the mall." he said hotly.

"Well now you're here." Lori said. "And you can't just run off and leave when your sister needs you!"

"Seriously?!" Lincoln said. "You're allowed to run off on your own, but I'm not?"

"Hello," Lori said. "I'm the oldest. I'm used to looking out for my siblings all the time, so I deserve to run off on my own once in a while."

"You're the oldest. You're the oldest." Lincoln repeated. "Why's that your answer for everything?"

"Don't try and change the subject, Lincoln." Lori said. "The point is you were responsible for Lucy and made a mistake. Now let's go back to her and then you will apologize. Understood?"

Lincoln only gave a short nod in response, not happy with being chewed out. Sure, he knew he made a mistake and he'd own up to that. But he found it slightly hypocritical that he was getting chewed out for something that would have been easily avoided if he could have just been included in the dang plans to go to the mall anyway. It was always the same thing, but at least they talked about it first! That little bit of courtesy would have gone a long way.

Lori led Lincoln back down the the lower level and over to the store where Lucy was waiting for them. The spooky girl had stood by the counter, near one of the people who worked at the store while she waited. When she saw Lincoln, she turned away from him, clearly not any happier than Lori had been about what happened. That did make Lincoln feel a bit guilty.

"I'm sorry Lucy." he said. "I should've told you that I had to go use a different bathroom."

"That would have been appreciated." Lucy dryly replied. "But I accept your apology and would still like to go to the comic book store with you after this."

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Lori asked. "She said she'd go to the store with you, Lincoln? Then why did you try to go to the store without her? Couldn't you have waited?"

"Well, I was going to." Lincoln began. "But then I saw they had a table with some comics out front and I..."

"You decided that you didn't want to wait for me to do my thing first." Lucy said. "That's fine. I get it. You wanted to do what you wanted to do, that's all."

There was an icyness to Lucy's tone. And Lincoln saw a solitary tear run down her pale cheek. It made Lincoln feel a bit more guilty to see that. He hadn't meant to upset his little sister. And he did have to admit that he had acted without thinking of her feelings, so she did have a right to be upset.

"Sorry, again." Lincoln said sincerely. "I won't do something like that again."

"You had better not!" Lori cut in. "That was very selfish of you, Lincoln!"

And just like that the guilt was gone and anger had taken it's place. It was amazing how quickly that happened. Sure, Lori had a point about him being selfish. But was she really one to bring that up when she and the other sisters had been selfish by not letting him have a say in where to go today? That got under Lincoln's skin, and deep too. But he let it go. He had no interest in arguing about it. Not when he knew that she'd just skate over his feelings and opinions anyway.

Lori took over helping Lucy look for her new shoes. After that they went to meet up with the other sisters at the food court, meeting up with Luan, Lola and Lily on the way. They found a couple tables and eventually all of the other Louds arrived. Lincoln took his seat at one of them and rested his chin in the palm of his hand while many of his sisters went off to grab some food.

"Hey Linc, we're gonna go get in line at that pizza place. Can you watch our seats?" Luna asked.

"Yeah, sure." he said, watching them take off. "Sitting around and watching stuff for you guys is all I get to do here anyways." he grumbled.

"Are you still belly-aching?" Lori asked.

The eldest sister took her seat at the adjacent table, setting her turkey burger and fries down in front of her. Leni joined a moment later, a tasty cobb salad on her tray. Lincoln chose not to say anything to his sister in response and she let it be. But as time went on and the sisters all got and began to eat their own food, Lori had to give into her big sister instincts.

"Aren't you going to have something to eat?" she asked.

"That depends. Am I allowed to get something that I want to eat? Or am I only allowed to have what you decide for me?" Lincoln asked.

"Oh would you stop being such a baby?" Lori snipped. "No offense, Lily."

"Hagga-bababa." Lily replied. Which translated from baby-talk means 'none taken'.

"If I am being a baby, it's only because I'm being treated like one!" Lincoln replied. "Why do you even bring me along? Everyone except me always gets to do what they want to do! And I get dragged along to either watch Lily or carry your bags or something else!"

"Fine." Lori said. "Then next time, we won't bring you with us. You can just stay at home while we have fun."

"Good idea! In fact, I think I'll just go home now!" Lincoln snipped.

Lori smirked and let out a sarcastic laugh. "If you think that I'm going to take you home, then you can forget it. I still want to do more shopping."

"Then I'll just take the bus!"

Lincoln hopped out of his seat and stormed off. Lori watched him go for a moment before letting out a sigh.

"He's literally going to take the bus. I'm going to follow him and make sure he gets there okay. Leni, watch my food until I get back."

"Like, okay!" Leni chirped as her big sister left. Then she turned her attention to Lori's tray, narrowing her eyes at the half eaten burger and remaining fries.

"Uhhh, what are you doing?" Luna asked.

"Duh, I'm watching Lori's food for her." Leni said, not looking away from it. "Just like she asked me to."

Lincoln stomped out of the mall and over the the bus stop on the corner. He sat on the bench, arms folded and teeth clenched tightly. He inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself down as his eldest sisters' words rang out in his mind.

"Selfish of me?" he thought. "I get dragged someplace I don't wanna be every weekend, where I have look out for Lily while they go shopping. Then I have to help them take all their stuff home. Then the one time I try and make good out of a bad situation she has the nerve to call me selfish!"

After a few minutes of sulking, a big silver bus trudged up to the street corner and opened its doors to him. Lincoln walked up the stairs to get on, but he looked back at the building for a moment. He saw his Lori standing at the entrance to the mall, watching him leave. His hand itched as he fought the urge to send her a rude gesture. He finished his walk up the steps, sat down, and the bus drove away with him on it.

"He made it on." Lori thought as she turned to go back into the mall "Good."

Lori walked through the crowds of people until she made it back to the food court. She sat back down with her sisters and let out a small sigh.

"Well he's on his way back home." Lori said.

"Is he okay?" Luna asked. "Those were some pretty Angry Words he was using."

Lori heaved a sigh. "He's just whiny because he didn't get to pick where we were going." Lori said. "He'll be over it by the time we get...hey...what happened to my food?"

She looked over at Leni. "You were supposed to watch my food for me."

"I did." Leni said. "I watched it get eaten by Lynn."

Lori looked over at Lynn, who shrugged and smiled sheepishly. "Ugh!" she grunted in frustration. "Now I have to get more. Well lucky for me I still have Lincoln's share of the money that mom and dad gave us."

"Whoa." Luna said. "You're just gonna just take his money and run? That's not cool Lori."

"Relax." Lori said. "I'm just gonna use enough to get another meal. I'll give the rest to him when we get back home. If you wanna blame someone, blame Lynn for making me replace my food."

-A short while later, across town-

Lincoln hopped off of the bus and began making his way down the street. He had been in a bad mood the entire ride back from the mall. But the walk from the bus station helped to calm him down a little bit. Now that he wasn't so focused on griping, he turned his thoughts towards deciding what to do with the little time he'd have until his sisters got back. He'd get first dibs on any food in the fridge, the remote, and he could lounge around the living room in his underwear while reading comics. And he could do any or all of those things with not a single interruption from his sisters. Despite how things went before he left, things were looking pretty good for him.

"I should have ditched going to the mall with my sisters sooner." he thought as he finally reached his home. "With all the time they spend there, I finally have time to do what I want to do!"

He opened the front door and kicked off his shoes. They were quickly followed by his shirt and pants as he shut the door again and ran up to his room. He grabbed a selection of his favorite comic titles and rushed back down the stairs and hopped onto the couch. After picking out a comic from the stack, he made himself comfortable and began to read.

Time passed and Lincoln set down the fourth comic book he had read. He felt a little hungry and decided to go rummage around the fridge for a bite to eat. And it was inside of the fridge that he found a delicious half dozen of his dad's mac n' cheese bites leftover from the night before. Score!

After reheating the food in the microwave, Lincoln returned to the living room and turned the television on. He flipped through a few channels and settled on a sci-fi movie that had just started. It was one he had already seen a few dozen times already, but he didn't mind seeing it again. Better than being stuck arguing with one of his sisters over what to watch.

A commercial break started after a little while, after Lincoln had devoured the mac n' cheese bites and washed them down with the last can of soda from the fridge. He let out a satisfied belch and laid back with his arms crossed behind his head. This was just the best. Getting to do what he wanted for a change was just the greatest. He wished he could do it more often.

"And why shouldn't I?" Lincoln thought, his mind returning to the earlier issue that had aggravated him so much. "I should be allowed to get to pick what we do every once in a while. It's not like I'd force them to do the things I want to do."

He sat up, recalling the idea he was planning on sharing with them at the meeting that he had been left out of. It was a pretty darn good one too! He had put a lot of thought into it and really tried to be considerate of what his sisters wanted to do while he did so. If they had just bothered to let him say his piece, he was positive they'd like it. And just thinking of how he had been left out of the meeting entirely caused his foul mood to start coming back.

"You know what?" He thought as he got up and went up to his room. "If they're so against doing what I want to do, then fine! I won't bother suggesting anything to them! In fact, if I want to do something, then I'll just go ahead and do it without them!" He entered his room and grabbed a flashdrive off of his bureau, the one that contained the idea he had wanted to share with his sisters.

"And I think I'll start with this."

Please review
And dont forget to send some love to my co-writer Twisteddarkness225